It takes months for an ex to come back because they are busy entertaining “greener grass”, they’ll come back to you when they can’t find a replacement

I believe it will take a while for the dumper to learn and appreciate what they had. The longer the better. That's when the tables truly turn and they may have a true change of heart.

You have to remember a narcissist is basically a child in an adults body. So they act like being told off by their parents when they were a child. They leave and don’t want to return until they feel their parents have cooled off and/or given time to forgive the child. Or even an amount of time had passed where the parent may have forgotten what the child had done in the first place. Fast forward to the adult narcissist and they are basically doing the same with an ex partner, they return when they hope enough time has passed by and you as the victim has either forgiven them or forgotten what the argument was actually over

They come back if the new "toy" isn't as good as the old one. Ofc they can skip for a newer one... after some they may realize that "that" person wasn't that bad after all

If they let you go and move on, then regret it and want you back, tell them no too late

That’s exactly what other coaches said… an average of FIVE months. It’s crazy. Good luck everybody

A little after 3 months were talking again and as of last week we started having sex, and she says she misses us but not the old relationship, I also agreed with her that's why we have to start over with a clean slate not bringing anything into the new relationship. I've been going to counseling for the last 3 months and she definitely sees the difference of my progress, so I hope we will work out and be together again

Dismissive Avoidants will make even the most secure person (me) feel anxiously attached and insecure. It is wild. Don't ever let them and get a grip on it.

He's avoidant I'm secure. I can't handle his wishy-washy ways. I ended things in December and heard from him in May. I've moved on and not available. I told him and he went silent 😶. I wish it was him but he's got issues and never let me in in 4 yrs. I have to move on. But I'm happy with my new person. 🙏

I'm gonna keep it simple Let them go and hold onto yourself! Avoidants aren't worth the energy effort hurt etc. Let them go and hold onto yourself!

Why would anyone want an avoidant type ex back? Why subject oneself to the same torture and never receive what they need? Just move on people, find yourself a lovely secure person who will be healthier for you. Leave the avoidant with himself

I love the time span of this video. 11:11

Avoidant partners are the worst its like banging your head against a brick wall on a daily basis being with them, they constantly send mixed signals there coldness and heartlessness is like no other they are sub human facts avoid these people at all costs for your own sanity. But the sad thing is by the time you figure it out its too late.

This is pretty much the situation I’m in. I always had to bring up the tough conversation because she didn’t know how to speak her mind and when she started crossing boundaries instead of trying to work things out she said it’s better for her to be single right now. We also lived and had a lease together so 2 months post break up, being an Anxious type I’ve had nights crying, pleading where the relationship went wrong, being angry and argumentative which seemed to only push her further away and reassure her she made the right choice. I wish I was as level headed then than I am now. I’m not giving her the space and I want falter by contacting her but I just hope it’s not too far gone. She asked how I was doing 3 weeks ago and I kept it very minimal and respectful, haven’t heard from her since.

I wanna share my story: I’m 20f , my ex 24m. A couple of months ago we started having problems with the lights, Internet, job, financial issues. Since we lived in Ukraine and there’s a war. We lost our job, electricity, safety. And i started to pick up fights with him, started acting narcissistic and would complain and get offended. I also had some problems with my health at that time. So, he would support me, sometimes also criticise me and get offended. We decided we should move out the country. It was really difficult. I started to feel and behave suicidal and accused my ex. On the 22th of July he decided to break up, but he regretted it right after the next day, would call me all the time, write everywhere even in the gmail, would send me deliveries with gifts, flowers and meals with the notes to forget him. I forgave him. Then a week later i moved in another country with him. We were living in Germany with his aunt. We had an argument at night on the 3d of August and the aunt didn’t like it. The next day another fight because of the break up before. I said that i felt suicidal and he took it as a threat. Told the aunt about it and she kicked me out of her house at night. I begged to stay at least for the night. My ex just stood silent and took my stuff. He accompanied me to the camp for refugees, we were mostly silent. I asked him “are you breaking up with me? “ he said “yes” It didn’t feel real. On one of the bus stops i couldn’t go after him. And he went on with my stuff alone without waiting for me or going with me. He sent me a message with the address, said to get there myself, my stuff is there and blocked me. He never reached out since. I still left some of the things at his house some books, wires, clothes. I contacted his mom for him to give me back that stuff. He refused, his mom said that i can buy new wires and books. I tried to contact him the next day, he blocked me everywhere. No contact since today is 18th of August. His family thinks I’m crazy and that i threatened to kill myself, so that think that it was a right decision to kick me out of the house at night in a foreign country. The most unbelievable part is that we had a great relationship, he was a nice and great guy. Even when we had arguments, we still loved each other, went on dates, hugged and so on. I’m so broken, like everything was good, but my depression, suicidal tendencies and arguments led to this. Right now i feel anger. I felt really miserable first, but right now only anger that he let his aunt to kick me out at night, that he didn’t accompany me till the end that he didn’t even check on me if i got to the camp. That we had a good relationship that turned out so nasty at the end.

By far the best break up videos I've seen so far.

I'm 5 months into no contact. I can now see why one is two months is not enough. Did that before and we broke up again a couple of months later. I'm now a different person and don't depend on her even though I miss her I'm not desperate. Had only a couple of emails since but nothing that lead to anything. What ever happens, I'm not going to make it easy if I let her back into my life at all. Statistically what I read is that they never work on themselves and you will just break up again . Sad but reality.

Wait so yall came here to find out how to get a crazy person back? Im trying to figure out how to stop attracting these psychos! I have an ex thats been stalking me since 2006! Trust me, you dont want this person back! You want who you thought they were to come back!

what about after 8 months? I don't understand why I can't move on but it seems most people can after 8 months...

I never went back and eleven years later, I have moved on and met another man and married him.

My ex and I broke up. He got a new gf within 3 weeks. I did no contact straight away. Sent one long email in that time. He came back 2 months later. He said he would change things and did some but not all. Was incredible for a year then I found a message on his phone. Wouldnt explain it and he broke up with me stating ridiculous non important reasons. I didn’t do no contact as he said was taking a break and wanting to stay in contact. It wasn’t proper contact though and made me feel and do insecure things. He has no emotional interest in me any more. Chasing every other woman alive but me. 5 months later I’ve started a strict no contact. Maybe too late but only chance to make him feel something and maybe change

Accurate! It too 8 months in my situation

Well, mine moved out of state when he broke up with me....it's been 7 months...while he still reaches out to me through text, even buying me flowers and sending me money, I dont think he will ever leave his family or his state and return to me. I'm coming to terms with him never coming back.

This has been eye opening. Thank you.

Wow, you are so practical!

I love these videos and they have been so helpful. I am curious about one thing . When you mention in your video "Competitor" why are they your competitors ? How about they are humans with different advice? We are all in this together ....so for me, I listen to people who I resonate with. My Mom was MFCC and she gave me the best advice in regards to finding a therapist . she advised I choose a therapists where I feel safe... heard... understood and one with whom I resonate with. So, the word competitor is a curious choice of words . Thoughts ?

The most important question is: What was the reason of the breakup? This makes the odds and time frame. 1. Abusive relationship? Not back ever pls. 2. Breakup in a heavy argument? 3. Serious trust issues or commitment problems? 4. Empty relationship?

When they are gone, they are gone. The choose to leave. Do not wait for anyone to come back, it is silly. They overwhelmingly do not anyway.

I think avoidants also are wanting commitment But have been previous hurt so too scared to get close and commit ,

The sad part of that they don't always come back...

Been FWB for 2 years and she doesn’t want to come back.. So I trying to let go and give up.. I been hurting myself for to long.

He came back 2 months after dumping me and lasted over a months with his rebound he came back made me trust in him again and dumped me again for no reason I am finally moving to a different state because he hurted me so much. 💔

i was emotionally draining him, it was too late for me to fix myself and our relationship. will he come back

This video is 11:11 long. 😁

I am anxious and secure now. My one ex Nick is an advoidant. Nick was the one who asked me for space and time. Gave him plenty of space and time. Several times he tried to rekindle our love for a relationship felt used for sex by him. He has been trying to come back to me after failed attempts of rebound relationships. During our past relationship we cheated on each other. I regret it and ask forgiveness. Thought he accept the apology and forgiveness by me but never fully moved on by it. How will I know if he is coming back to stay?

Months? For my case is after 4 years of no contact with diff phone number

What if it was the crazy mother in law who sabotaged the relationship? Can you please do a video on this? Exes who haven't individuated!

7 month in my case he didn't even stop and ask how am I once. Well I probably deserve it but still. 5 years

Almost a year and a half and i never comeback for my ex.

She never came back. Went into something else

This doesnt really work with the "secure" type of ex nop?

Does it apply for a LDR?

I feel like my anxiety is getting worse as time goes on. I’m four months in.

It’s been 8 months….

I might not be available in 5 months

😂 so what if (and I'm not joking here) husband of 10 years gets deployed overseas, cheats with another solider on pass, and separates from you... (their not at the same location anymore but he wants to snapchat her.. says he will always love me but doesn't believe in the marriage anymore.. wants to be best friends again so we can coparent the kiddos...

Hey i need your help tell me in my case : me and my ex-boyfriend were fighting like any normal couple ( its LDR) But in this time he told me bad words and hurted me so much so i told him that m leaving then we didn't talk again (i closed my social accnts but when i reopen them the next day he blocked me) So i feel like i am the one who dumped him Wish u tell me because m so confused about should i reache out or no It's have been tow months since the break up.

Idk if I have a fearful attachment style or if it's just because I have bipolar 😂

More like passive aggressive

Do these research work on women because i am a guy indont want my man its a woman.

Its Been 6 months Bruh 😂

I'd like to ask You about my case. Short. We've been togehter for 3,5 year (live together). Brokeup for 9 months. Get back togerher for 6 months. Both was dissapointed and brokeup again. There was a children + family issue. Whe wanted i didnt. When i did was to late. 2 months after brokeup she went to Spain - 2500 km and is there for 3 months. Generally no contact for 30 days. I know she tried to date others but all failed - they dont speak english and she is bit tall and bit muscular spanish guys are bit smaller and mediocre. She is single (live with other girl) in the country where almost nobody speeks english. Lonely for sure. Next week will be her birthday. I want to ask her to try one more time. I dont think small talk will do the job. She needs real arguments to leave Spain because she has her lives there. I know for sure she will be massive depressed that day and after that she will be much better - i know her. Questons: should I ask her at all? Should i ask her in her birthday or after that? Should i ask her small talk way first? I dont belive she will reach me at all or even answer if it is small talk version. She dont even read my smses. She thinks i have a GF and seems she lives in Spain for good. Im sure she is at stage 1. I want someone to love me.

Can you do a video like this on fearful avoidants pleaseeeee😁