Hey man, I think the best way to go about this is try and feel or at least think about what would get the real undistracted you to be happy, and start doing those things even tho you dont feel like doing them

fr tho all i do smoke opps but i can’t stop

It is the reason why most people distract themselves. Being alone with your thoughts will feel bad, you're not alone with this experience.

Same. But I noticed I can also escape reality by getting wrapped up in something productive, like cleaning, so I'm trying to find productive escapism now. Some escapism is good - Life can suck sometimes and you don't need to think about your problems 24/7.

I was the absolute definition of hopeless and fully invested in the idea that I was going to just end up killing myself in the end but I'm telling you there's a way out. I can't tell you because I'm not you, but I guarantee there are many many fundamental flaws in the way you see the world, really try your best to view yourself as this outside spectator as much as possible. Allow yourself to identify outside of your own struggles and try to view everything as objectively as possible. When something hurts, really dig deep, free yourself from distractions, and ask what EXACTLY hurts. It's never going to be an overnight process but I promise you there's a way out. Coming from that feeling of complete hopelessness, it really pains me that I can't just give all the other people who feel the same all the answers. I wish you well, and I hope you found some kind of meaning in my words.

oh gosh, why i didn't know this method back then. but maybe my parents will just force themselves to enjoying those vids bcs they think doctors are one of the most helping people in humanity and they 'will always wanted to be doctors if they can'. our ways are just different but now i also escaped from that situation. my parents still bragging abt doctors alot, tho, which is why i think this could help me convince them more :) thanks for the inspo.

Dude that's a genius move!

fivehead!

I love your response to her. That was quick thinking.

I never considered this. My mom was always telling me to go try to date a doctor 🤮 “you gold dig, and I’ll consider it.” 😂

Im 24 and I feel ya. The modern world feels hollow and demoralising

Would you explain a little more? would love to help

Brooo im same age and I have the same feeling. Nothing excites me now😢

@@makramshehabeddine7591 there must be something

I've felt that way and I guarantee you when you start noticing little things and appreciating them, it gives you love and peace. Appreciate colors, smells, people doing stuff. Or you can start with yourself, if you like being kind and help people, go out and do that. Don't judge, just feel what warms your heart. Don't judge people or things for the things you hate or dislike, appreciate what makes them beautiful. Other example is watching Pixar movies, they're colorful and at the end they give you a sense of meaning.

Yeah same. Im much happier than people around me living in far more luxurious conditions but this was the trade off for all my suffering. Kinda feels heart warming in a way that sticking around actually did pay off and i get to explore this beautiful world with all my limbs and body intact.

@@Arin-3 I couldn't agree more. I no longer wish things could have been different or have regret for all the pain and trauma I went through, because it ultimately gave me the perspective I needed to truly enjoy life and being alive.

"To see the world in a grain of sand, and Heaven in a flower / to hold Infinity in the palm of my hand, and Eternity in an hour" - William Blake. There is so much quiet joy to be had in a life lived simply. The world is so rich to someone who simply steps outside their door and bends down, with fingers to touch, eyes to see and ears to hear. Why strive for more? I admire you, @wanderfuljes.

Reading the "im proud of me " bit made me tear up...we sound kinda similar...I came from severe neglect and which lead to parentification..now I'm just happy I have basics...God bless

Yes - people value life and things of life only when they don’t have and work towards it to have it because they really want it … then it’s so satisfying to have once they get it… When they already have everything, then people have no motivation to do anything

My college legit had a spot called "college woods" that had pristine old growth forests with well maintained trails. I miss those woods.

@@360critique yup, the woods behind my apartment building actually belonged to the college too, it was called "college camp". It was rarely used outside of the astronomy and biology departments but those of us who did knew it was the best part of campus. Definitely one of the best reasons to attend a rural campus.

Interesting how many of the great thinkers would either walk in the woods for long hours or sit on a sailboat.

Nature. Way cheaper than therapy.

Sounds a lot like UCSC! The redwoods out there were lovely

no great depression, bull, shit

this quote didn't age well at all

No purpose maybe, but our place was having about 20 "once in a lifetime events" happening in 4 years haha

@@noobdosjogos During the great depression people starved to death. No one is starving to death in the west just because of the economy. So yes, we don't have a great depression.

I can do without a great war but we are on the right track for one so yeah.. fingers crossed I guess

Nothing is free. Google how much ad revenue someone with 1.69 million subscriber makes. You might not be paying him, but advertisers are paying him an insane amount of money to make this content.

Good for him if money is his God. To me, its 100% free because I'm not paying a cent and I don't even get advertisements because I use an ad blocker, so I'm not even paying for a KZfaq premium service. I could say I'm paying for the electricity that runs my phone. I'll give you that. But that's peanuts compared to what information like this is usually sold for on the free market.

@@Islas_Canarias He's not giving you step by step points on how to do anything. It's all feel good tropes.

I support the dissemination of this information to a wide audience via KZfaq but you could also have figured this all out by yourself

I disagree, people need to be taught how to be people, otherwise babies would never throw a single tantrum.

This is it man. Something about working to earn money corrupts the work relationship. I'm not clocking in for my manager. I'm clocking in for me to earn money. I've had much better experiences with volunteer work/community service where there isn't such a feeling of obligation

Not completely. You can help people via training, positive management, providing health care, social work, etc. Some of these fields do make good money

People are also more anti social nowadays as well, which makes helping stranger harder. There is more social anxiety, depression, and social isolation these days, and Covid only made it get even worse.

Respectfully,, it’s like. How? How is someone else “getting ahead” materially/financially before they unexpectedly develop cancer/or suffer from a heart attack.., are they actually truly getting ahead? When you in contrast are already doing what you want with your short and limited time.

Winning is a very individually defined thing. The story of the fisherman and the business man touches on this. I'll briefly tell it here. One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up and his line cast out into the sparkling blue sea. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. Then, a business man came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He notices the fisherman and wonders why he is fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. "You won't catch many fish that way," said the businessman, "You should be working rather than lying on the beach!" The fisherman looked up with a smile and replied, "And what would my reward be?" "You could have bigger nets to catch more fish!" the businessman answered. "And then what?" replied the fisherman. "You will make money and be able to buy a boat, which means you can catch more fish!" "And then what?" The business man grew frustrated and began yelling at the fisherman. "Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let your employees catch fish for you!" ... "And then what?" The business man lashes out at the fisherman, "You could become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You could spend the rest of your life sitting on a beach, looking at the sunset! You won't have a care in the world!" The fisherman smiles at the businessman and says, "What do you think I'm doing right now?" ----- Very often in the modern day we are bombarded with ideas of materialism and consumerism. Money is the most important thing. You can buy good things and flex on people!!! This is very prevalent in the red pill manosphere, especially with figures like Tate, and Iman Ghadzi. These men will never be satisfied with what they have -- they've said it themselves -- they always want more. If they see somebody with something they don't have, they'll want it and do anything to get it. That's not freedom. That's not happiness. Money is nice yes, but it shouldn't be your final goal or even a metric of your success. Your peace of mind and your life's alignment to your deeper purpose. That is what you should strive for. No amount of riches will bring that. Help others first, focus on providing them value. The warm feeling at the end of the night knowing you made somebody's day genuinely better is the reward. The external factors of money or people liking you is merely a bonus. Chase your dreams bro, I'm rooting for you.

Go full-on for it man!

You made the right decision and I'm happy that you built the courage for doing the change man!

W husband

TL:DR - a lot of jobs can be meaningless unless to connect few dots to them that give them more meaning. I personally love photography and videography. I even started a high school for video technician. But I did bad at school because I was lazy and bad at prioritizing, so I ditched it. Along the way i did few gigs and freelance jobs as a videographer, and understood one thing from all of it. I want to do this on my own terms. I want this as my hobby, not as my job. After which I "returned to real life", and started working as electrician - field I was good at in middle school. Electrotechnician was a field that I graduated in my high school. It took 2016 to 2021 and failed high school, after i graduated middle school, for me to realise that I should start to connect at least some of the dots in my life. AKA - finished electrician school - go and work as electrician. You dont have to do it whole life - that is what i say to myself - but at least do it in order to be good at something. My plan is to have 5 years of work experience in that field, before I try something again with videography and photography. Three years left atm....I learned a lot which did not in school, and I had a whole lot of expereince with random people and situations. It even lead me to feeling that I want to learn more languages. Now the last thing that is left is to get better at saving money for the future use. I hope you start connecting the dots. Hold strong, be good, and along that way I hope that way your depression will find its way out itself.

F brother, I feel for you

I'm about to be 30 I feel the same and get tons of stress symptoms to go with it all.

Stop believing there is some inherent point to your being 🤷🏼‍♂️, do you have any animals? If you do do you think they are concerned about why they are here? In ways we have become too intelligent for our own good and think too much, strip away all of the media and what you are told and realise you are just here, in the present, there is no meaning and there doesn't need to be, whatever meaning you have in life can be created by you, be it hobbies, relationships with people, do you have children?

Use the feel this way until I realized the point of life is family and love.

Same shit man

Go learn meditation. There's free Vipassana courses all over. You need focused time just processing internal stimuli!

Good for you dude! I am so glad you got to achieve your dreams :) Hopefully everyone gets to do this me including (one day..)

I had a similar experience where I spent some time thinking about what I wanted and ended up traveling to Puerto Rico for a week. Never felt more alive despite being on my own in a new place. What are you doing now?

Great

My parents are gone. I have friends and skills but no passion. Your fears are well founded. I hope you find a reason to keep going, even if just to honor their memory.

I'm sorry to hear you lost your parents. Just remember that you ARE a continuation of your parents. You are alive because they wanted you to be. Their blood and genes continue into the future because of you. I'm sure that they would be happy and proud of you for just being alive. Don't lose hope! Life can be tough, but through the struggle, there is beauty in it. I hope you continue on and find your purpose. Just being alive is a worthwhile journey, we just sometimes lose sight of that. Wish you the best!

Imo, the main reason for financial security is to be able to do what you really want, not what you have to. Like, I'm working reasonably high paid job and its much easier for me than for the most because of how my brain is wired, so its very good value:effort ratio, but do I feel satisfied in it? Naaah, not really, but I cant afford to quit it either because I have people who depend on me to not starve. If I had a few spare millions I'd actually be able to go and do some woodworking or fixing cars without caring about the fact that my hourly rate will drop 10-15 times.

all up to what you define as financial security - for some people it's comfort zone for expenses, for others it's just knowing you can pay your rent this month without a new debt

I make decent money but what really makes me happy is a happy marriage and great friends and a close relationship with my family. These are the things that make me happy and give me purpose. He's SPOT on!!

Totally missed the mark and point of this video. People should aim to work barely enough to survive. Everything extra is a waste of your time and making you miserable. Spend as little as possible to achieve this. Because the next new shiny thing isn't nearly as interesting as you think it is now. And your life will continue to be filled with meaningless shiny things until you realize that you could literally close your eyes, stare into the abyss, and become fulfilled. A deeper sense of your place in the universe is the only way to find meaning. The shiny things, excess money, status, power, these are things that sociopaths market to you so they can continue to abuse the system around them for their own gain (while still being depressed themselves because they don't understand what happiness is). I don't envy rich people because I truly realize what they don't. Which gives my life more purpose than theirs. Wealth is a means to live. It's not a goal to achieve. And I feel sorry for anyone who disagrees with this; you are truly lost.

Comfort is happiness for me 🤷🏾‍♀️

The worst is when you find yourself grinding, with no clue why you are or what you’re even doing. It just feels like you’re always busy with no time for yourself

@@bdbdkdfotbrveiw facts

I think the problem is that very few people get to see their labor improve the lives of the people around them. I'm sure being a farming peasant sucked in a million ways, but at least you get the satisfaction of seeing your family and physically present community eat. The professions that have that immediate tangible small community impact are poorly paid government jobs (teaching, emergency services) or locked behind an amount of education that may be unobtainable (ex: doctor, judge). Want to just go back to farming? Hope you have millions of dollars worth of land and tools.

@@bbouncy12 great insight. Humanity has pulled one lever to figure out how to live longer while ignoring or even pushing the happiness lever the other direction

bipolar

'1. Suicide & porn addiction', not '1. Porn & suicide addiction' lol

Thanks for sharing, here are mine: People are questioning their purpose; society has lost sense of purpose Hustle -->become successful-->retire early Goal in life is so retire and then start enjoying life You sacrifice your best years Capitalizing on capitalism or fully checking out Neither has sense of purpose Porn consumption is caused by meaninglessness Sense of purpose cannot be given to you It must come from within Why have people lost sight of that? Technology We have externalized our attention - social media; playing games; looking at your phone; using internet Social media amplifies this idea that other people can give me recipe for happiness; how to find purpose 100 years ago, we were more attentional to our internal stimuli Technology use shuts down our ability to be in touch with ourselves; it numbs emotional circuitry. you suppress internal signals How do we UN-numb ourselves? Reduce external stimulation. Listen to internal voice: If you can start to taste again, it will become easy to find out what you like to eat again Boredom: stimulation seeking emotional state antidote is external stimulation, but this is suppressing internal signals Thoughts come from our sensory organs, or memory. What are you excited about today? movie, game, food - chances are it came from a sensory organ if we are bombarded by our sensory organs, it will be difficult for our internal thoughts to rise further compounded: when internal thoughts arise, they arise in negative way this is another reason we want to numb ourselves: our first layer of internal voice is unpleasant it's negative emotions we have suppressed People go on these year long wanderlust: travel/hike/whatever They then come back to life - and they have this piercing look in their life; they're rugged What's the mechanism? Aren't you with you at all times? No: in world we exist in, you're not with you so much digital stimulation you're far far away from you When you're hiking, you're being with yourself Meditation retreats: you're meditating for 8 hours... stuff comes up, stuff comes up, stuff comes up Simple technique: Reach the End of Thought (meditation in the true sense of the definition?) If you close your eyes - thoughts will arise; there's a pattern: they're mostly related to something EXTERNAL to you not about anything you want - things you need to do; desires which are also borne by external stimulus... i wanna eat this, play whatever.. not something you care about Period of intense boredom comes; mind is struggling for stimulation; boredom is attempt for your brain to get that hit of dopamine Sensation that prompt us into action are uncomfortable; thirst, hunger. what's the biggest club our mind has got? boredom second phase you experience is intense, intense boredom; If you don't give into the boredom and you know what the boredom is trying to do, something magical will happen, you can start to have some power over it Thoughts will be rapid at the beginning, then they will slow down, slow down, slow down.. and if you're lucky you will reach end of thought Once you reach the end of thought (because thoughts come from outside sources), all you will be left with are your internal impulses You will have stopped numbing yourself, and you will be hyper sensitive to internal drivers, goals, values; once you're centred on those, you can begin to craft a life around those once i know from within me what i am looking from life; once i stop listening to influences, Asian American parents, older siblings, friends and try to duplicate that, I'm listening to myself and i can align my life out of my values once you discover what you want from life - it's not about what is the purpose of life (it's a misnomer) purpose of life is not in life, but it's in you, it's individualized it's a scam; "let's ask someone wise because they will give us THE ANSWER" you're an individual, you have to understand what YOU want out of it in order to do that: REACH the END of THOUGHT you can sit there, you can go on a hike; you don't have to reach it all in one session let the thoughts run out; they will run out of steam; there will be boredom, and after that you will discover what you want once you discover purpose, you can start aligning with with it after that, doing difficult things will become 'worth it' life will become worth it caring for life makes it so much easier and so much more enjoyable don't adopt anti-work nor the work work work be successful later where you reach the end of the rainbow and there's a pot of gold you need to start this today

thanks for the summary@@simonsays3391

The windows XP Bliss background... times sure felt simpler back then for some reason.

@@OzAbi I think it's even deeper than that, but I can't explain it.

honestly im not even existing

@@the__void__spaghetti__girl Who said that?

@@gadiac89 me 😭

Bingo! This is the answer right here!🤦🏾‍♂️

If it's so plain, obvious and simple, why does almost everyone keep asking the question? Watts was wrong. That simple.

I will happily be just alive, JUST give me $$$ to pay my bills for a year upfront...

Free spirits unite

Mr watts is such a great speaker, That knowledge should be given to every new human entering this world

That’s why I stopped going to “professional” therapy

They're paid to ask you questions you already ask and tell you things you already know. They make money off your problems. I need a friend or family member to listen to me and maybe even help me out a little bit instead of ignoring me my entire life.

@@jakeballou5147 I agree.

Figuring out how to best appreciate life is the answer. Whatever form that may take for the individual. But I'll just say there was an 80 year long Harvard study that determined that what made people "happiest" (most satisfied) was closeness with loved ones. I would venture to say this is where our meaning lies.

So true. Today I appreciate and am thankful for a reliable vehicle.

Me too! Your comment made me realize that the old cartoons I used to watch give me comfort because it reminds me of the times I was actually happy…the old music I used to love sometimes makes me emotional and I tear up because I am reminded of a time that life was easier and I was happier. Even though I couldn’t wait to “grow up” 🥺

A banger that applies perfectly to the current struggle.

lol

So basically every other day?

@@reallyanotheruser7290 Yes

Yeah, that's called a cycle of addiction.

Got any music out yet or is it in the works? 🙂 Would love to check it out!

30 still young. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

@@_maymie still in the works! Getting close tho

@@coreyroberts47 you should come back and post it when you have something

Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys has the same disorder. So I can assure you that it has no hindrance on musical ability, and may actually enhance it due to seeing things in a unique way. You got this!

Yup.

Its not just Silicon Valley. Whole of modern western society has been built on this crappy system of getting people addicted to things. Food industry especially has been pulling this crap since at least the 1940s. All the big name brands and fast food chains have entire research departments devoted to the sole task of finding new ways to make their food products more addictive. Just think about that for a moment. Its completely unethical in every way shape and form, but there is currently no real legal framework or penalty system in place to stop it. On top of that, only in last 10-15 years or so have we seen people truly begin to properly scrutinize many of the research papers released by the food industry that were used to decide nutritional doctrines, government policies and general food standards over the previous century. Not only are many of these 'long established' research claims now failing to hold up, but are being outed as likely fraudulent from the very beginning. Whole lot of people with no sense of ethics or morals have been screwing us all over for a long, long time.

1000% true, and they got paid healthy sums of cash for doing so

Businesses only sell what people want. If you're a tech-slave, you have no one to blame but yourself.

@@zacklewis342 Bet you wouldn't make that same argument for hard/addictive drugs. You have a poor understanding of addiction and how it hijacks the brain.

I love zero sensory. You can transport yourself to a calm or rewarding scene in seconds. It's a complete break from everything.

had a similar experience, but just me sleeping much sooner in the evening, just to wake up at around 3AM, my room was in total darkness, no one talk to me, no phone, no noise, i usually lay there for around 1 hour before going back to sleep, although my sleep schedule is pretty f-ed up at that time, i sorted my thought each night and got myself back together after 2 years, and gave what i thought about my career was a wrong choice another try, now i'm not exactly happy, but i'm getting there

I feel this except I'm homeless and live in my car

@@FuhzyLiquids Good luck

Gonna get myself some black out curtain :)

He really is, it gives me so much hope knowing that Dr K understands and that im not alone with these struggles.

Im 34 😭🤣

I’m 37 but it’s still true. It’s a broad problem

Spring chickens! I am 52 and still screwed as fuck.

Lmao do we live the same life? I'm an avid gamer who works in information security and who just got a dog a week and a half ago. I've also found it very beneficial to get out and reconnect and it's inspired me to try and get into playing football again!

I've stopped wearing headphones on my work commutes, even 30 minutes a day helps

During my first year of uni, I heavily underestimated how good for my mental health a solid walk is. It's unreal

Yeah people think listening to music or whatever is a way to relax but sitting in silence waiting is the best

Without headphones? how about trying going without a tv, computer or phone screen?

I'm the opposite, I'm constantly overwhelmed with emotions and want to achieve many things at once that I end up doing nothing

And I feel both of these responses , 🥲

@@uareGod lmaooo well aren't we all so diverse

I can relate to everything that you mentioned. The meaninglessnes of being inside of a hamsterwheel that never stops turning is beyond demoralizing and the people are just becoming more wild each and every year..

@@LiNa-zr9jl perfectionism is procrastination manifested

I saw a video recently where a guy said, if you make less than 50k a year, you can't afford to be watching tv, or surfing the internet, or jacking off. I think there's something to that. I'm 39 and remember a time withput the internet to distract me from creating stories and art.

And for us who DO want to get out and do crap, it all costs lots of money or is reliant on having people already in your life who also want to go out and do shit and not just sit around on their computer. Literally the only things to do around me without bleeding out money on a singlular day, go out to eat at a cheaper restraunt, some movies- which most want to do that at home now anyway- or go for a walk in a forest. Like.. dont get me wrong, I do what i can but even in what I mentioned two require at least one other person, so point still very proven lol

@@cherriberri8373 you're making a lot of excuses for someone who claims "wants to go out and do crap".

Technology ruined our happiness

@@cherriberri8373 honestly same. One thing comes up into mind is walking in the park. Other than that everything else cost a certain amount of money that I don't want to spend.

Good quote, good question.

dude, iroh is the reason I was even able to finally find purpose in life

Iroh from Avatar said "Life happens wherever are, whether you make it or not".. but he also said " just drink tea like a Mofo , with your loved ones" 😎 .

IVE BEEN ASKING THESE BIG QUESTIONS FOR YEARS

I credit ATLA for getting me into Buddhism and Hinduism and looking inward as I've aged into adulthood. That show, Aang and Iroh especially, had such a HUGE impact on my development as a person.

Filling out Excel sheets. ✅ Office with no windows or natural light. ✅ Feeling soul crushed for a (totally not) living wage. ✅ Are you watching a live feed of my life?

For sure, I always tell my friends I’m supposed to be in my father’s village counting beads but capitalism has me working bland 9-5

Good to hear from someone who's actually tried it for a while.

Same here, i always was a procrastinator and now i see my friends saying shit like "I need to clean my tiny room so bad but i never do" and im like "Holy shit my entire HOUSE is super clean and i just didnt even noticed i had this power in me lol"

Any tips on how to stay consistent? Didnt do anything but jerk off smoke weed play games and eat shit food during quarantine and its hard to get back on track

share what've you been doing broo

@@daredevil2724 Temptation bundling might help. Those "bad" habits can be useful. Cook healthy meal = garbage snacks as a little 'side'. 1h Games = 30min walk. Then you can get into combos: fold laundry = jerk off = shower = get dressed in nice clean clothes. Lol whatever works

Daily meditation and prayer helps ☯️

​@ascend555 - it doesn't really help, I've been doing them for 3 years. For some of us it is much deeper.

@@ascend555 prayer??? really???

@@bumblebee_mrs never think so little of yourself. It's the number one killer of dreams and aspirations. Give it three months or so

What gives you excitement in your life or sense of challenge in short or long term both.

A good amount of men in this county barley know how to use a hammer

Agreed, where I am now there is alot of cheap labour from india, philipines, etc. which makes manuel labour utterly useless to employers yet I like doing it (as long as I am paid) and have a natural tendency towards it. it's really annoying unless your family owns a business or something.

@@anelbegic2780 I work as a machinist for a family owned business. I’m turning metal while they’re on sail boats lol machines cost too much to start on my own

@Jbeezy Agreed. But why should they? So they can be looked down on and made fun of? The arrogance of Western society and celebrating the white collar and spitting on the blue has left us with not enough people with plumbing and electrical skills, not to mention framers.

@@1alayzzia I guess it’s all perspective because if I watch someone try to use a hammer who doesn’t know how to, I’ll lmao.

sounds like a nice thing to do. take a break from everything and from everyone. from every stupidity we read and from every sad news we see.

when she said do noting did she mean not watching any tv or reading any books?

@@incudust953 no, just nothing. no distractions, no entertaintent, nothing.

@@kalimatronix ya its dopamine detox

with or without phone?huge difference

I see you, brother. Glad you're doing better!

i see your light in the endless void.

The endless void is sometimes where you find the most earnest comments. Also happy for your improvement!

The algorithm appreciates all interaction. All praise the algorithm!

I see you bruh and I feel the same. You matter in this void for sure.

what a horrible experience for him, going with his girlfriend to have a nice romantic moment together and she cries, he'll always remember you having cried, I know because my brother's ex-wife cried sometimes when having sex. Imagine if he seemed sad after you gave him a hug, you'd think your hug is beyond trash. You should make it up for him. If you don't then he should find a better girlfriend who gives him moments of joy and satisfaction when they're together, this is what men want out of a relationship. He's not your therapist.

@@cynthiabauer5763 Holy projection, Batman. Way to make an assumption about a random stranger's relationship. This happened a year ago and I arranged and paid for the whole thing as a treat for both of us. We still ended up having a great time. Everyone is on their own path when it comes to emotional intelligence. What I've learned for myself is that having emotional needs does not "ruin" experiences. Emotions are silly and irrational and deeply, deeply human. Opening up to your partner is a way to increase connection.

@@cynthiabauer5763 I highly disagree. It’s actually a sign of a great relationship if you can open up and support each other. There will always be times when things aren’t all going great, but going through that together with your partner and to come out of it stronger is key to a happy relationship

@@QwertsMinecraft I see where you're coming from and it makes a lot of sense when we think about it but in real life people see vulnerability as weakness and lose respect and admiration for the partner, becoming like their parent. I think your mindset is correct but only people born before social media and promiscuity can live happily through bad times. Today everyone is disposable.

@@lauren-gx1lg you're right I overreacted

I had to ask, you think about ur thoughts when u meditate? I though u kinda forced a clear mind, I really don’t know how to fucking do it

​@@gayminecraft As I see it, you'd usually do the opposite of forcing things when meditating. You don't try to control the thoughts. Usually we identify a lot with what we think and feel, but meditating can make you realize your thoughts and feelings are not your identity, and that you don't have to engage with them. By just observing ourselves and our thoughts as an outsider we can avoid a lot of the judging we usually do that often leads to suffering. It helps me to think of the ego and the thoughts that come with it as being "noise" in the front, while my consciousness is a quiet and nonjudgmental observer in the back. So we become the quiet observer when meditating.

i recently heard the avg amt of time spent viewing is 2.5 hours. my new goal is to some how bring myself down to only 2.5 hours. set a SMART goal and you can see bona fide results . making our dreams, ambitions quantifiable helps us attain them or at least see where issues lie. Until we do that it is all wishfulness and vague sense of unfulfillment. good luck!

I do the same thing as you. If you're like me, you probably just couldn't sleep at night so you tried KZfaq videos and it ended up working. It's like a weird double edged sword, not really different than any other drug addiction. The drug (KZfaq) is legitimately helping us sleep. But it's also damaging us in a way. So it's very hard. Like right now I can't imagine falling asleep without KZfaq playing, unfortunately. Maybe it means I have too many thoughts and if I instead meditated throughout the day, the thoughts could "get out," rather than they all trying to "get out" at once at night time, making it impossible to sleep.

That's really interesting to me, because I have convinced myself and several therapists that I am not addicted to gaming, I barely do it anymore. I just happen to have too much time while being unemployed and sit in front of the PC all day, but I wouldn't do it if I had anything better to do, and that's true!

i struggled with my mental health for most of last year and only just realized like 2 months ago why i kept myself from falling asleep, because in this short period of boredom before falling asleep i'd start having intrusive thoughts of selfharm etc, to avoid this i just watched youtube or played a game , numbed myself, until i was so tired that i fell asleep immediately and my thoughts didnt have time to form. i took the next 6 months off and have decicded to focus on myself, and after watching this video it only assured me that i took the right decision.

Everybody needs some numbing, some escape from themselves. It can be work, family, dating, partying, intellectual pursuits, drugs, gym, etc, But everybody tries to divert their attention to something else to avoid spending too much time looking into their inner voids. Only monks are able to be alone in their own heads for long periods and stay sane.

There's not an answer for everything in life, we discover more as we go along

Someone who exists and points you to purpose? Hmmm...sounds like you'd appreciate a messenger of God. (Except the vast majority of people won't even entertain the thought. Like a knee jerk reaction, they go straight past disbelief and into ridicule.)

Why can't your purpose be to journey? To think, and learn? Why can't you be fulfilling your purpose while trying to find it? Joseph Campbell's words have always comforted me: "...if you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living..."

I think the story of purpose is an illusion. It's not a bad one but you don't need it. But it can make you sick if you believe it's a must.

Christ. Seriously. Read the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Start with the Gospel of John, or Matthew chapter 5-7.

Brace yourself for if it fails....

This is a very beautiful comment. Thank you!

Mh I've never experienced falling in love. Eastern religions (which are becoming so trendy) make detaching from desires a big deal, but maybe some of these passionate long-term desires are actually benign, and they actually make you more grounded in many ways. I genuinely don't desire much, maybe it is a thing that's wrong with me. I think it's killing my engagement with life, it made me a quiet spectator when maybe we're all supposed to be actors.

It seems like having this purpose is the best type of purpose to have. 👏👏🌠

Just wait until you meet a toxic woman that pretends (very well) that she loves you just so she can benefit of your hard work.😂😂

He really needs to drop his hair care routine

Meanwhile I've got a receding hairline since 15 years old and pretty much bald now at 19 sadge

@@XAlpt I'm on the way too

@@S3verance genetics

@@Bongtaker yep, didn't hit any lotteries on that one

True. They did what they did just to survive. Just work, create a family, have a hobby, that's what everybody does. They didn't overcomplicate things.

Hi, i personally use religion as a tool, since it has many instructions and guidance, since I can't imagine myself making decisions that i am one hundred percent sure it'll bring me happiness, i would really recommend the Islamic religion, i know... it's pretty misunderstood, and full of wrong stereotypes, but it personally made me feel complete, and made me discover the purpose in life, i wish you much love and guidance

@@vitormascarenhas4884 No they say they had a dream but it didnt happen. So they kinda have to be happy with the life they lived becuase well you have to at that point but non of them are happy

Bruh fr they shit on people that do

we live in a distopia

My dad also died at 54, due to aneurysm that led to a heart attack. He was the pillar of my beliefs, however that crumbled when he died along with his hopes and dreams of us going abroad. While he relaxes and enjoy his time. We weren't close, he had more time outside than with us so we develope a sense of estrangement of him but he was a good man, just a bit flawed on his pride and expectations of us. My life had been colorless when he left like a footprint in the sand. He was enjoying, he was happy but at the end why did his eyes revealed regret as he cried in his deathbed? I've tried to revive him but it was all for naught. I saw the light in his eyes vanish, as his body became stiff and his hand that was held by my mother became cold. I'm sorry I needed this..Life's been unfair, being bored isn't even in my mind anymore because my ADHD brain always brings back those memories. It's mind numbing, kinda psychotic and traumatic. I can't even frown anymore I always smile because I can't reveal that to my mother. I don't know what I'm talking anymore, I forget easily. I'm sorry...

Exactly 😮

​@@ndreinschannel5683be a little selfish, literally, when i have anxiety over my mother's health, selfishness gets me out of it, by that i mean remember you have a lofe that is your own, you are the only main character, you gotta work for that main character and do things for the favor of their story, if you don't do that, you'll end up a side character in life with no big plot

​@@SWEAR2CAREand you'll be stuck in this trauma forever

Almost everyone I loved has died, but there is so much to experience and I know that everyone I loved cheered for my happiness and want me to live this life looking forward and not backwards. The dream today is driving the Al-Can highway, next year it's taking a boat to the Bahamas to snorkel and fish. Those might take more time than I was hoping, but things that are bigger than yourself are worthy dreams.

I wish you all the good luck to keep going through all these things. I grew up in Russia with different cultural background, but I truly understand what are you talking about. It's not easy to live this life, but you can find your own purpose. And you can be happy, of course. Mainly, just believe in yourself, try to find a good therapist, do not go away from this journey which may be unpleasant but it's very useful.

Ich hoff dir geht’s gut Brudi ♥️

So much background distractions. I hope you are well gentlemen. Be good to yourselves... Service to others helps a lot I've found out.

I think we need to remember as a cooperative, social species that we have only recently been able to manage things without leaving the house for weeks. We HAD to interact at some level. Now the goal is live alone, build alone and then maybe advertise what you have to attract another independent individual who doesn't want to compromise.

The same goes for me, today I’m going to start a 15 day meditational retreat, hoping I can gain some type of actual insight about myself. Good luck to you 🙌

​@@JangZoddhow it goes mate?

Probably failed it.

@@JangZodd How did it go?

Learning your Human Design will help you get a great start. Trust me!

If you want to know what your purpose is then you need to go back to what your desires are. If I desire to have 6 packs then my purpose becomes it, then whatever newer desires I crave, that becomes my new purpose. The biggest problem these days is that people neglect their desires out of fear in facing trials and tribulations. If such desire is handed on a platter with ease then they'll grab it. So how are you supposed to live with purpose when you don't want to go after your desires?. Now it's a different case if you're someone with no desires whatsoever but that's a monk level kind of human who's willing to denounce everything they own to prove they're without any desires. Truth is, we're all filled with desires which could serve as a catalyst to set our purposes but desire means conflict. I want to be something, and in the very process of trying to become that something there is conflict, and then comes the demand, the effort to escape from the conflict.

i have this feeling at the moment. i dont see my purpose and for the past ... 1 year maybe more, i felt like the only way to feel alive was to make other people happy so i can have part in their happiness. i found an analogy to a candle quite fitting: i can't stand the thought of burning low and never being noticed. i'd much rather burn bright and hot, but also be gone that much quicker. even if i have realized it now, i dont even have an idea where to start having my own purpose. whenever i do something for myself i dont feel alive. whenever i something for others it gives me this little spark of feeling alive, but its never enough to ignite something in me. i just read my text again and it doesnt make a lot of sense, but i'm still gonna post it and not edit it as it really describes how i feel at the moment...

Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul. And the other things on the face of the earth are created for man and that they may help him in prosecuting the end for which he is created. From this it follows that man is to use them as much as they help him on to his end, and ought to rid himself of them so far as they hinder him as to it. For this it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things in all that is allowed to the choice of our free will and is not prohibited to it; so that, on our part, we want not health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty,honor rather than dishonor, long rather than short life, and so in all the rest; desiring and choosing only what is most conducive for us to the end for which we are created..

@@Raverraver9999 Why you are deciding what the purpose for others should be? 👎👎🙄

​@@Raverraver9999 if I disregard the overly moral prescriptivist, monotheistic tone in your comment, there is hidden within it a beautiful gem of spiritual wisdom and truth and i appreciate having read it today

💯

I bring this up to my friends and they think im joking saying oh brother not again when im dead serious ..

Well said!

but your hair makes you look like the type of people that scream at men for existing

@@SobeCrunkMonster relax man this is a self-help channel dont bring toxicity here

@@SobeCrunkMonster I disagree

Lies.

Wishing you the highest good. Bravo for working so hard to get yourself into a better situation. Now it's time for self love care and healing. You may need a therapist. I'm really proud of you. And happy for you. You have the rest of your life before you. May you enjoy it to the fullest. Take care and best of luck. You are making good moves.

Time for children the greatest most satisfying reward in living watching your children grow and flourish

Hope it gets better for you and you can find or create the answers you need.

Try not to be too serious about everything. Just relax a little.

Give me a job.

Same, this video got posted at the right time. Hope you manage to get better very soon, friend.

God transcends time. Some of the greatest works in Gods kingdom have been done from sickbeds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for Gods way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to God. When you allow God into your life, the idol of performance and expectation goes away, people get really mad too, because to the world this is being 'lazy'. Take time for yourself and heal and enjoy the moments where you are healing and don't wish them to pass quickly. Anybody who reads this who idols what others think about them, I pity you. Get some help with Christ, and stop shaming people who don't work 'as hard' as you do.

Every thought other than practical thoughts like having to work/clean etc are usually from the enemy. I also void most thought. Enjoy the moment in peace instead. Sometimes it will feel guilty to enjoy the moment because the enemy is the accuser of believers of peace, the devil hates when you are at peace in the moment; he likes to ruffle us up.

It's incredible really how this guy seems to pop up at the exact right moments. You're not alone, man! All the best to you :D

Yeh cos it's all around us sucking us in and finding some way to trap us into that and having a kid to look after means more expenses and less time to ourselves and... bugger we're trapped lol it finds any way to ensnare us into a non-fulling life that only benefits big corporations because of the expenses it will cost us. I really don't know how to get out of that either.

Shiey inspired

God transcends time. Some of the greatest works in Gods kingdom have been done from sickbeds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for Gods way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to God. When you allow God into your life, the idol of performance and expectation goes away, people get really mad too, because to the world this is being 'lazy'. Take time for yourself and heal and enjoy the moments where you are healing and don't wish them to pass quickly. Anybody who reads this who idols what others think about them, I pity you. Get some help with Christ, and stop shaming people who don't work 'as hard' as you do.

Every thought other than practical thoughts like having to work/clean etc are usually from the enemy. I also void most thought. Enjoy the moment in peace instead. Sometimes it will feel guilty to enjoy the moment because the enemy is the accuser of believers of peace, the devil hates when you are at peace in the moment; he likes to ruffle us up.

You'll find a way

My wife wanted to see some of the “must see” sites in San Fran. I got so tired I ended up falling asleep and bumping into a car in front of me on those steep hills. No damage or legal issues, but there were kids in both cars and it spooked me. Why risk our lives over a donut sign. My wife also missed the whole experience at Venice beach because she was having a custom T-shirt made. So now my main memory of LA is me and my son being near the water and her being 200 meters away with the baby.

@@jbeauty4150 Actually it was the round sign for fisherman's wharf. Not sure why I remember it being cut out in the middle.

Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul. And the other things on the face of the earth are created for man and that they may help him in prosecuting the end for which he is created. From this it follows that man is to use them as much as they help him on to his end, and ought to rid himself of them so far as they hinder him as to it. For this it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things in all that is allowed to the choice of our free will and is not prohibited to it; so that, on our part, we want not health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty,honor rather than dishonor, long rather than short life, and so in all the rest; desiring and choosing only what is most conducive for us to the end for which we are created..

you will find a way out my brother, i believe in you

you got this brother 🙏 as long as you’re still here, there’s always a solution

Debt is very tricky because your past self's bad decisions haunt your current self and this can be difficult to escape, but not impossible. Make long term goals. Do not spend money on anything that is not absolutely necessary. Live in as cheap of housing as you can find. Drive cars that are cheap and get you where you need to go. Cook your own food. Start exploring other skills that truly interest you (music, art, athletics, other fields of academia, etc). Do not put in extra hours at work, ever. Time is not money. Time is greater than money can ever hope to be. The expensive shiny things that corporations market to you are a vile distraction from your true human nature. Even if you are unable to leave your job due to your finances, adopting this mindset will truly make your life better. And by spending less you'll get out of your debt trap sooner. Just remind yourself that when it happens, it's not a time to spend more. It's a time to work less. No amount of money is worth your time. I'm agnostic but Jesus was right when he said that living in poverty brings you closer to god. Money is not god.

@@rainbowwaves5531 glad to hear that.

For sure stay in the medical field if it is good and pays well. That is really the unfortunate thing that matters, doesn't matter if you become a doctor or end up as a janitor. They both work hard, go figure which one you want to be but. Take the time, but do consider.

Please, stop to be religious: it's only another trap of society.

religion is a powerful thing

I loved this comment man, thank you!

@@NathanielKuros Glad you liked it, haha.

Beautifully put

Agreed friend

Who ever was born in the right era?

We need to get rid of capitalism.

@@OneStepToDeath420 and then what

your comment is helping me so much, thankyou broski

You are literally me. Jobless and no ambitions. Love movies and music and family. But my issue is that the clocks ticking, and I need money to do things I like. But I get miserable working a 9-5. Idk what to do.

Thank you for your comment, it helped me too!

@@gabe3134 Not sure if it will help anyone reading, but one thing that has helped me recently is reframing the desires I have as "aspirations" rather than "ambitions". An ambition is typically categorized as a self-interested goal but this can seemingly only be measured in a success/fail binary - e.g. if you fall short you are trapped with the crushing realization of failure on your own terms. But an aspiration is something different - it decouples the goal from the potential required to reach it, instead of treating them as one and the same, making it easier to get started. Its very interesting to consider where the words "ambition" and "aspiration" come from as well. The word "ambition" comes from the Latin verb "ambire", meaning "to go around" - but the context in which "ambire" and its noun "ambitio" were used in the ancient world were to describe individuals who were in the pursuit of power. It follows then that, unless you are someone motivated in some way by power in the modern era, you might actually be ok with not necessarily having "ambitions", per se, but more "aspirations" in life. The word "aspiration" meanwhile comes from "aspirare" - the same root as "inspiration" - meaning "to breathe upon, blow upon or breathe"; hence "the things that you breathe (life) into and the things that give you breath" are your "aspirations", and seem much closer to your authentic purpose than an externalized ambition. I don't know about you but none of the things in my life that give me "breath" (life purpose) involve the pursuit of power, competition or dogfighting for status. I maybe in domains which demand participation in these distracting "ambition" games, but so long as I hold true to the aspirations outside of them it makes it easier. It took me a long time, but not considering the historical implications of the words we use all the time can sometimes be responsible for kneecapping ourselves and defining our reality, and sometimes our perspectives only need a small, subtle course correction to get things moving better. Wish you all the best.

@@MrXaphus You make a good point there about those two words, and it was interesting to read about from your comment. That said I agree, it’s definitely so important to be much more careful with our words than we think. One of the things my therapist at the time taught me is just how much thoughts (especially negative ones) can affect how we feel, and how what we feel often turns into action (or simply inaction, but even that is still an action). At that point the cycle just repeats itself. If we could just tap into any of those like rephrasing the words we use and tell ourselves. Then that means we could work to fundamentally change all other aspects of our life, really by just one simple decision. Not that it happens overnight (not counting mistakes along the way) because everything we want to do is often best done in baby steps, but still I’ll just also never forget how my therapist would get onto me about saying “i might” or “i think.” Usually if he was asking me a question either of those replies would just mean no to him, because still none of those answers were a yes or no. Really if I wasn’t gonna say “I will” or even just that yes or no then when would I ever? Bottom line is I guess the lesson there was that I shouldn’t be waiting on life to give me answers, and to spend too much time thinking about it. I should get out there and just enjoy myself. While still also living within my means and being grateful of course. Cause at the end of the day too much self reflection is a bad thing, and not everyone is so lucky to have what we have. Even if we think what we have isn’t too great. All this is I’m sure some things that Dr. K has probably made a point about as a continuation of this “finding ourselves” topic. Probably my main take away from that experience though, was that not all answers come from thinking. Once I stopped thinking as much I felt happier.

I was forced out of an acting career due to a bad on set injury and Covid causing my agent to shut up shop. Focusing on working as a trainer/consultant now. What line of work have you transitioned to?

The biggest problem these days is that people neglect their desires out of fear in facing trials and tribulations. If such desire is handed on a platter with ease then they'll grab it. So how are you supposed to live with purpose when you don't want to go after your desires?. Now it's a different case if you're someone with no desires whatsoever but that's a monk level kind of human who's willing to denounce everything they own to prove they're without any desires. Truth is, we're all filled with desires which could serve as a catalyst to set our purposes but desire means conflict. I want to be something, and in the very process of trying to become that something there is conflict, and then comes the demand, the effort to escape from the conflict.

Im turning 40 and just realized that I think I feel a bit without purpose..my job has no meaning to me even though I went to law school much later in life but once I achieved that, I realized, I hate sitting behind a desk not making a meaningful contribution...I have my kids and husband which Im grateful for, but careerwise, I feel sooo unfilfilled...

how did u find it

@@tekiero Good. I make goals that I aim for that keep me busy. I've always been interested in Cybersecurity so I am working on getting my CCNA and my CompTIA Sec+ exams in the next couple of months. The one thing to remember, its EXTREMELY crucial, is that you are competing with yourself, not others.

Shake hands I’m also 43 this year. Thinking what should I do next so I won’t feel regret when I’m 60 or 70.

Pretty odd of you to say since most of my creativity comes from procrastination

​@@keithnicolas3097 That doesn't make it odd since it can also work the other way around for many people. They want to engage in their creative hobbies and bring their ideas to life but (think) they can't find sufficient motivation or time

Procrastinating ... Man, I have 2e (with ADHD)... That is my default state together with overthink. I am bored about self think about what I want and life purpose. In the end, I can see that life is suffering to reach ephemeral happiness moments. Life is too hard to achieve it. In the end all my mind concluded that life doesn't really have enough value. The only thing that makes me not finishes it is to not bring suffering to others if I die.

@@VitorFM Jesus loves you. You do have purpose. Pray. Seek Him. & He will give your mind rest. Selah. Sending you love and light

Please subscribe to the Catechism in a Year Podcast, you will find it helpful in answering this question.

literally RIHGT NOW lmao

lol, that's right. I have been thinking of this like 2 weeks ago, and this video comes up.

Sounds like my younger years on chess.

That's super interesting to read for me, because I live in Austria and there's only a small percentage of asians here, so it seems foreign to me. In your experience, why do your parents expect so much from you? Is it because they just want you to be "better" than them, or is there a different reason?

Word bro, when I was a kid my dad would always drill into my head that I need to go to college and get a bachelors degree he didint care what I liked he didn't acknowledge my opinions about college and what I wanted to do with my life, I guess thats how asian parents are bro 🤷‍♂️

Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul. And the other things on the face of the earth are created for man and that they may help him in prosecuting the end for which he is created. From this it follows that man is to use them as much as they help him on to his end, and ought to rid himself of them so far as they hinder him as to it. For this it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things in all that is allowed to the choice of our free will and is not prohibited to it; so that, on our part, we want not health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty,honor rather than dishonor, long rather than short life, and so in all the rest; desiring and choosing only what is most conducive for us to the end for which we are created..

If your family has been in the US for a couple generations before you...have your parents met these expectations themselves? Being a first gen immigrant is one thing. But I don't get the parent's attitude after they've been born in the US (or Canada or France or the UK, etc), and not met their own expectations in their own lives, and yet are obviously fine.

If you truly had a purpose why would you have to find it or look for it, does a queen ant or worker ant have to find its purpose?

​@@kareemdavis1500 if a blind man truly has eyes why cant he see?

@@kareemdavis1500 because his eyes are sick. our current society sickens us by denaturalizing us until we are blind to what we are naturally drawn to and is good for us.

​@@kareemdavis1500ants don't think

I feel exactly the same, no hobbys, no idea what job to do, only doing stuff that makes me not think about my life.

I like this positive take. I feel it's hard to find positivity these days. This is coming from a pessimist.

What if living proves we hate being alive, and don't enough relish those moments?

@@percussionfellow6168 Huh?

im not allowed to. If i go at my pace im going to be homeless

@@Bababooey759 : I will pray for you. This too shall pass.

Bless u

Good luck !

Great, good luck..

Oh yeah. Society really doesn't like women having careers. Men want a subservient housewife.

I'm happy for you ❤️