Omg she said the sentence just as i read your comment xD

Yep, definitely felt that.

@@deniselisboa1 same here!

I don't even have a pgysical disability, but that's where I am at in my brain. So I fundementally don't, and can't understand. But I can make at least some sense of it.

So relatable

THAT WOULD BE AN AMAZING IDEA!

THERE IS ONLY YES

Yes!!! The editing process seems to be so tough for her sometimes :( I would totally supports streams of Sims or even just chatting with Claudia

I’m a year late but I’d love this

I've had mine (multiple illnesses that feed into each other) for a decade and I also feel that

@@ladyredl3210 , I'm really sorry you're hurting. I would never wish any of this destructive chaos on anyone.

Most of it is mental illness, which then feeds into chronic panic disorder and stomach issues. I can't take vacations or anything because of it, and jobs are hard. I don't wish it on anyone either. Good luck to you too.

What has only been 3 years?

@@unicorn1655 , I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease 3 years ago, and it's surreal to think it's been that long...

Okay but like, as a person who also has chronic illness I fully understand what she means.

@@hannahscott463 me too, and I wish I didn't

I have to constantly pretend that my back doesn't hurt (I have a spine injury) and that I can do my day to day and help out others. They get frustrated when I say no I cant do something so I pretty much just push through any way to avoid judgment. It really sucks

Bella Joella me too. I have pain everywhere post stage 4 cancer but people constantly expect me to be ok now that I am in remission.

Too many surgeries and health/pain issues from being a preemie, I can empathize with everyone in these threads. A “healthy” person can not understand how pain can screw with one’s mental/emotional health as well as the physical. Illness takes a toll even if someone can’t see it visually. My most not favorite not helpful remark in reference to dealing with chronic pain...”Try not to think about it.” My least favorite thing a doctor has done..decided to take me off oral pain meds in conjunction with my pain med implant without asking me how I felt about it, not caring that I was able to actually get out of bed and actually live my life. I’m sure everyone has their favorite horror stories as well, anyone care to share?

@@AC-gb7do first doctor said here's these stretches let's see of they help. Mark down if any cause pain. The next time I went in i was complaining about how all the exercises made me back hurt worse. They did some exrays on a whim and lol and behold I jad a type of fracture that causes one spine segment forward. Things that shouldn't get squished. And it causes leg pain and fatigue. Who knew. Turns out I'm not lazy after all like what my family thinks

Forgot to say it's called spondylolisthesis. I'll find out what grade it is when I go in next time.

It's a bit odd, really. Lots of places have mid-day breaks / siestas / afternoon tea and science has done studies showing it really helps... and yet.

Same my mum always tells me off ☹️

SAD hit me early this year and I can’t get through most days without napping or at the very least resting for a while. Its hard explaining that to people.

I work for myself and live where I work so I can lounge on a couch watching some KZfaq or whatever while cuddling under a heated blanket. I am so sore omg ouch.

I like that you say you take care of yourself. You don't have to fit others' view of the world. You just have to deal with and be fine with yourself in the first line. Congrats for your courage, even if it hurts when family and friends aren't empathic.

I suppose technically that means buying her merch, joining her club etc, or just watching the adverts based on our available income. I watch all her adverts but I will try and give a little after xmas. She and her content have meant so much ❤

And this is how come I've never been productive in my life up until this year. I totally feel this.

For sure, the same here. I have battled Major Depressive Disorder since I was 12, chronic sciatica since I was 15, and somewhere in there my right knee started collapsing. I'm now 46. I've had a very spotty employment history because of my health. I lived with my parents until I was 39, except for 3 years that I tried to launch into independence and lived in apartments, which all ended in disaster. When I finally married at 39 I thought I was finally going to free my parents from the "burden" of caring for me. They never, ever said that, but it's how I felt. The ex turned out to be abusive, so at 44 I was on my own again and not only dealing with MDD, but C-PTSD. I lost my job, I'm living in a house I can't afford, and for nearly 2 yrs I've been trying to push myself toward a level of wellness that would allow me to return to work. I am very blessed to have a generous mom who is blessed with an amazing career, so she bought my house and is pretty much paying for my life. Despite my health issues I have a ton of hobbies, my favorite of which is remodeling houses. Because I absolutely love remodeling I am more prone to push thru the MDD to do it. Sometimes I cry while getting ready, but I know that I will feel better once I get my hands on some tools. Due to my risk of a sciatic flare up I always work from a rolling chair. I have to divide my work up between things I can do while seated, things that I have to stand up to do, and things on ladders for which I need someone else. I also never work 2 days in a row otherwise I become overly tired and painful, which is when the MDD flares up and I'm at a higher risk of a sciatic pinch. It's hard to find people willing to pay for that kind of service, so my hobby stays a hobby. Now that I'm battling C-PTSD it's much harder to leave my house, so I'm always late and I often sob on the way there. But, I'm choosing to push past my issues to have an occasional life that I enjoy. I have also lived the last 12 years with a chronic limp, so add that to the mix of my struggle to get stuff done. In April 2019 a tumor was discovered on my sciatic nerve. It was removed in August 2019 (benign). 9 days later I got out of bed and walked around like a normal person. A few days later I realized that my bad knee was no longer weak or unstable. I never once thought to associate the sciatica and the knee problem, but it made absolute sense when they got better at the same time. I got 4.5 months to be more mobile and flexible than I've ever been in my adult life, but in mid January 2020, for some reason I can't explain, the sciatica came back, worse than it's been since 12 yrs ago when the limp started. I went to the ER, was admitted to the hospital, sent to a rehab facility, and taken back to the ER within 22 hours of being discharged from rehab. I was admitted to the hospital again but opted for in-home rehab the second time. Earlier this week I was finally released to drive again after 10 days of being homebound. The last month has been pretty traumatic, and I'm essentially back to my old "normal" physically, only I'm using a walker 100% of the time. Now I'm battling the physical difficulty of getting out of bed along with the MDD lack of motivation to get out of bed. I'm battling the struggle to leave the house with the walker and the C-PTSD that makes me not to want to leave at all. I had just landed a job, at a daycare, which I am no longer physically able to do, so I've had to excuse myself from that. I was just getting excited about being able to pay for my own existance. People think I'm just lazy and a moocher. They have no idea how hard it is to continually rely on their parents financially and physically. It's embarrassing to ask for money. It's disheartening to have to call and inform my mom that I've fallen again, or in the hospital again. It seems everyone I meet has had sciatica and feels the need to tell me they had it once and it was painful but they still went to work. They don't understand that my sciatica causes me to lose feeling in my legs. That it's not just back pain, I've fallen on the ground and I can't get up because the nerve pinched unexpectedly and is not letting go. In my pain I have to force myself to turn toward a position that will help relieve the pinch enough for me to get off the floor. I've had it happen at almost every job I've had. It makes employers question my ability to do my job but also if I'm a legal liability. I assure them that I know this is my problem and I won't sue them for falling down in the office due to my problem. This is not a fun way to live. Maybe I should start vlogging about doing home repairs from a chair? Would people watch that?

Literally, this is my life most days. When I was talking about coping mechanisms someone recommended that the best thing for me in the long term is to learn to live with discomfort. And I didn't think of it until later, but I am literally in discomfort one way or another almost all the time. Hopefully it won't always be like that, but right now it is. So when I turn to coping mechanisms and distractions (which I've found this channel wonderful for ❤❤❤) it's because I've hit my limit in ability to tolerate it and just need to block it out for a while.

@@SesshyLoverLioness I hear ya! I do not take painkillers when I'm in pain because that would be the max dose every day and I'd rather not destroy my liver or kidneys that way. I exist at a pain scale level of 3-5 every day. You won't even see me cry until I hit a 10. It's just my life to be in pain all the time. On the upside, today I had to have blood drawn but my veins were being uncooperative. I was poked in 6 different places before we had success. It hurt about as much as a mosquito bite. The rest of me hurts so much that small pains like them digging around in my arm with a needle hardly phases me now. That's a positive, right?

Same. I've never looked that good. :)

Damn yes... and everything looks so clean and nice.. my house is a MESS

@ In your defense you probably don't have a carer to help clean stuff up when you feel like a sack of potatoes

@@kieleyevatt2232 you are right. But some day hopefully.

I like that idea.

Or maybe gaming could be fun. There's so much to choose from. Story driven games like life is strange,silly games like that Lego stuff, multiplayer like Dead by daylight or overwatch or whatever and absolute masterpieces like the last of us. I dunno I just enjoy the variety of games there are and who knows maybe she and the community will enjoy that as well

Yes THIS

Writers do it all the time. Streaming what they call a live write-in. They time themselves and just watch each other write to encourage

Ooo I am a Bernadette banner subscriber and now I so want to do patreon

We have NeoCitran in Canada

Yes, Lemsip sounds far better than either Theraflu or Neocitran. Lemsip sounds like the name of an actual drink with lemon. Neocitran is second best because at least it alludes to something citrusy. Also, I'm Canadian, so I have some bias there.

such a sweet little anger 😘

Me, an autoimmune thyroiditis person: also yes 😂 🤝

Crazy Llama Lady I’ve been dealing with chronic illness for 16 years, it’s part of the process to go through the angry stage. You are basically going through the stages of grief, you’re mourning the body you had and it’s difficult. I’m not going to lie, it’s a very rough period to be in, I was in it for the first few years of my own illness and occasionally slip back a bit when new stuff pops up, but it does get better. Not necessarily physically, we all kind of know where our own illnesses are taking us, but mentally you learn to cope and grow into who you’re meant to be. If you’re able to I’d recommend speaking with a counselor who specializes in chronic illness, they can help you process and learn coping skills. They can really help to get you to a better place mentally faster. Even just a few sessions can be super beneficial.

Wow...I never thought about it that way. That’s an excellent point. I have a chronic illness and it was finally a relief to have a diagnosis and explanation for feeling like crap all the time. But I still really judge myself for being “lazy” and “weak” and I get mad that I’m not like normal, healthy 20-something year olds. And the weird thing is....while I’m lucky enough to have a viable treatment plan that will get me to remission and back to mostly normal health, I am still angry and bitter about my current health and feel totally defeated and ashamed. It’s very strange to have this pessimism when in theory I will be feeling better in a year or so! I don’t know that I could/will ever be as positive as Jessica, but I appreciate hearing your guys’ perspectives because it’s quite eye opening to me.... That was long and rambly but thanks for sharing & listening. 💕

@@laurat2509 Partly it's a good point of you. But for me it's not the solution... I tried to explain it once to abled people. Becoming disabled is not just like losing a loved one, because you can let go of a person and period. There is no chance of anything hitting you hard when the person is gone. Becoming deaf (or otherwise disabled) means letting go of the person you imagined you would become *while* you are often overwhelmed, exhausted or sth alike in the present. For me that's often the hardest, most bitter part. There is no exit. Sometimes it just feels like a living nightmare without end. Luckily I learnt that this is only a snapshot, one tiny little thought amongst many other. But the pain it causes sometimes feels like hell. For me, becoming disabled is a constant struggle to accept what is still possible without overdoing it because of my extraterrestrial motivation of being like I used to be... Does that make sense to anyone here? 🙈

Hi love. Same here. I go through the angry and grief stage regulary. I agree with the person before saying seek counceling or look for online. Themighty.com has great resources and chronicbabe.com. Im tired and not a good writer today but remember all your feelings are valid. Loads of love and be soft on yourself. Sending love from Iceland, stuck in bed but trying my best

It's not easy to accept change, and realising one part of your life is forever altered . Kelle611 is correct , you are grieving . For me it's been "officially " 14 years and there are days when I still get angry /down at the situation . I found that information is your friend , Less surprises ! If you know what could happen and it doesn't you've got a win. If it does , oh well, another thing to work out . Be kind to yourself . You will get to a place when you realise you are feeling happy at that moment . Maybe you completed a goal you'd set yourself . Beware the push and crash . You push past your limits then spend 3 days recovering . You'll have to pace yourself . This probably makes you feel worse, but life can be good even if it's different . Hugs

Update: Missed the bus I was trying to get that would of meant I wouldn't of had to switch buses part way, but hey, still gonna make it to work on time Just with significantly less energy cause switching busses is rough on me

Teague N i hope you Will have a good day. You are strong for getting out of bed!

My grandmother was married in 1912 😂 I'm 35.

Yo merengues ❤️You’re a hero

So very true! 🤗🤗

Yay, spoon theory!

I agree so much. I knit and crochet and it has helped me so much. Also, when I have a day that is so bad I cannot knit my family notice and acknowledge how bad I must be feeling.

Word

Word

I wish I was as generous and giving on my bad days.

Renia Reads I’m same been in hospital 3 times this year cos they got so bad, can take me about 4 days to recover xx

Well done on the shower!! Enjoy your rest x

Christine. hope yr recovery is quick and steady!

Sending lots of positive vibes

May your recovery be shockingly fast and delightfully uneventful! And may all your doctor appointments be productive.

🤗🤗🤗🤗💜💜

'normal' is to be able to care for yourself and others most of the day. Normal bodied people aren't in pain everyday. Normal is declarable

@@singingintherain4750 Not really. People have different pain tolerance for example. Some have chronic illnesses and do not even know about it. And even if there is no illness involved: Our bodies and minds are so different from each other that everyone feels life in a different way. Being disabled is of course on another level.

Good luck to you ❤

Good luck from me too! I'm stupid enough to be a nurse, although becoming deaf for 15 years now. I often argue with "having the heart of a real nurse", but in fact it is killing me. The tensions of normal communication, for example lip reading all day, I probably never will get relaxed again, which causes exhaustion, which leads to more need of sleep and so on... Actually I am always learning to let go of pictures and imaginations I create over myself. It won't ever help to get along with my burdens when I keep fighting against them instead of accepting everything I am and have. Not focusing on what I lost or cannot achieve. Cherish little successes. Two hours without pain, having left the bed, what fits for you. :-)

I have poor depth perception, but it got a lot better when I got glasses. I explain it like the difference between a 2D movie and a 3D movie, because in a 2D movie, you can see the distance between things, while in a 3D movie, you can actually sense it. That is to say, in a 2D movie, you might know a character is moving towards the camera because they’re getting bigger while the background is staying the same. On the other hand, in a 3D movie, it seems like they’re actually walking off the screen towards you, because of the way the glasses and film are manipulating your eyes into perceiving distance.

Eli on the Internet yeah lol I’ve heard that; unfortunately something with the way my vision is and the way 3D glasses work makes it impossible for them to work for me so I’ve never seen a 3D movie in 3D, either. The glasses just give me a headache and nothing happens. It sounds so interesting to be able to see depth sometimes (like with your glasses on) and not others!

Omg I'm the exact same it's awful npt being able to explain

Chronic mental illness is still chronic illness. The symptoms, and how they are exacerbated or relieved, may be different - but it is still illness. And can still be a flaming hellscape to live with and manage. And I agree. Even getting a teeny tiny task done can help. Especially in giving you momentum. Baby steps are still steps! ❤

Beth Bogart I’m studying for final exams & writing final papers so SAME. Please make this happen!

Thaise Athayde lol I also am having a similar day. I have Rheumatoid Disease with an as yet undiagnosed neurological condition and also was better in college. Ahh I miss those days. But yay for work from home! I am sure we all have a bit of bad day chic, I use my Mickey Mouse slipper socks to improve the overall look 😉

@@mindoablues yes, I watch them and some more. The EDS community on KZfaq is growing, and with support of famous people with the syndrome coming out like Jammela Jamil, Sia and Lenna Dunham I feel like in the future people won't need 25 years to have a diagnosis like me.

Would you mind telling me what kind of work you do? I have fibromyalgia; I'm currently researching types of remote work opportunities in the hope of finding a good fit for me. Thanks :)

@@kimbekaw I'm a clinic psychologist, I don't know how laws go for online practice in each country, but Brazil, where I live in, permits since its made responsibly, so I work mostly via online videoconference. It wasn't possible when I entered college, just when I was graduated, the legislature changed.

Totally agree with: ' a piece of calm....etc.'