I have been an NP for 4 years. It is not all it is cracked up to be. Medicine has become more like the hotel industry where patients expect to have demands met. NPs are being tasked with heavier and heavier patients as fewer MD/DO enter fields like family medicine and pediatrics. The stress is overwhelming at times. Please make sure to job shadow before you commit to NP. My own anxiety makes this job hard. I check labs at all hours. I worry constantly about whether or not I made the right call. NP is ICU level thinking, and you have all the responsibility.

My therapist said the anxious, meticulous nurse is EXCELLENT for their patients, but it will destroy the nurse! I'm leaving to do same day surgery too. 😁

Hey Alexus, thanks for making this video. I have felt the same way leaving the ED. Level 1 Trauma as a new grad. Thought I was supposed to be a career badass ER nurse, and became quickly disillusioned within a few months of working in that environment. My coworkers were amazing and what ultimately lead me to stay for as long as I did, but the day I quit felt like a weight was lifted off of me. I still struggle with guilt at times and feeling like I have to go back to the ED in order to prove myself somehow, but I know that it wasn’t good for me, both mentally and physically. I love my job now doing outpatient infusions in the clinic and home setting, but if I ever went back to a hospital setting I’d look toward the OR. No one is weak for doing what is best for their life and for their family.

Thank you for this. I’ve felt bad about leaving and worried about losing all of those skills and knowledge over time. But its not worth the toll it takes mentally, physically and emotionally. This video made me see that I was not alone in the way I felt. Congratulations on your new start!

You should feel proud for sticking it out the two years. The beauty of nursing is that we have so many employment options! Just having that 2 years on your resume will open so many doors for you. We need our pandemic ICU nurses to chronicle their stories for future generations. I hope you have a chance to discuss your feelings with a therapist. You don't want to carry this with you for the next 30 years. NP isn't easy either. Make sure you shadow a NP to find out if that's what you really want.

When you said we clock out but we don’t mentally clock out…..yes. I started in Neuro MedSurg before transitioning to Med-Neuro ICU in 2020 during Covid. 15 months later I had to leave. The suffering we saw eventually took its toll on me. I didn’t realize how badly I was affected until I left and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Therapy and medication gets me through at the moment. Nursing is so rewarding but we definitely sacrifice a piece of ourselves and sometimes there’s nothing left to give. I hope your new job is so much better for you. I’m currently not working as an RN since July. Not sure if I’ll ever go back. But, right now I’m prioritizing my mental health. Hugs to you ❤

I'm a hemodialysis RN for 8 years and I quit last year. Too much micromanagement, too much drama. It burnt me out. I'm now working in a outpatient Urgent Care Clinic.

I’m a nurse from the UK went into ER straight after nursing school stayed 10 month now in family planning and I really feel like I’m happy again in work. If it doesn’t feel right find something that does 👍🏿

I’m currently an ICU/CCU nurse. I can totally relate. I’m PRN right now because I was starting to feel burned out.

I’m a Respiratory Therapist and I retired before CoVid not because of it. It hadn’t happened yet. But my colleagues went through absolute HELL. I’m glad that I got out before that happened but I was ICU/CCU and Trauma, as well as Cardiac Recovery post open heart surgeries for 45 years. Four years post retiring I still hear the constant alarms going off sometimes when I’ve been sleeping. It seems I’m still in a hyper vigilant state of mind. It’s sad because experienced people like us shouldn’t have to feel broken into our ‘golden years.’ Take care of yourself.

This. I related to your story. I need to choose myself and not spend years of my life not liking what I’m doing. I’m a med Surg nurse with one year of experience.

I have been a nurse since 1980 & I struggle with anxiety & depression related to the job. I have always worked med surg. If I could go back in time I would have liked to have been a school nurse working with middle & high school students because that would be so rewarding. There's is so much these kids need to learn. There is nothing fulfilling about the area where I work because most of my patients don't care; they are there because of their non compliance & bad habits they can't seem to break like unhealthy diets, smoking, alcohol & drugs. The only thing I cherish about my years in nursing is all the wonderful coworkers I have met through the years & meeting my husband. I was miserable from the first day of clinical but I was a scholarship recipient & I told the ladies who chose me that I wouldn't let them down. There are some perks to being a nurse though; having medical knowledge that you can use to help your loved ones; having many different areas in nursing to choose from; never having to worry about finding a job & the schedules. I cope with my job by doing yoga. Yoga has saved me. I am happy you made the choice to leave the icu. It is very hard working in such a stressful job & being a mother to a small child. I loved your video. Best of luck to you.

I worked in a cardiovascular icu, sick, micu, general cardiology, med-surg, jail nursing and after 12 years I have had enough period. Big hospitals or small hospitals I saw nothing but corporate greed. Too many people in the offices and no one working the floors. COVID shed light on the seriousness of how nurses were being treated and the organization as a whole is a train wreck. Nurses that are barely 1-2 years working have quit. If you have anxiety about your job, can’t relax when you go to bed or dread going to work after vacation then it’s time to make a change. I totally get what your saying and wish you good luck on your endeavors.

Congratulations on choosing yourself and your happiness ! And congratulations on NP school! Please please document your schooling journey especially with being a new momma I’m in the exact same boat ❤ best of luck

One of the biggest reasons I see my students quit nursing is absolute and complete burn out. Nurses have a tough job, "great nurses" have an even tougher job due to being overworked. #zerotoheroprogram #seeyouinclass

Good you were able to put yourself first! ❤

I think it's important for me to understand that to feel accomplished with an endless amount of to-dos on my to-do list is not the way to live life if it is not managed realistically. Being highly distressed is not the way to go although I know that it is a part of life I am 23 years old and in a BSN program right now and I feel determined yet so hard on myself and I just want to feel at constant and be happy. I am committed though and this video was insightful.

Nurses blaming themselves saying they have burn out or compassion fatigue. These are just healthy ways of reacting to a messed up health care system. I’ve watched a drug addict who openly sexually harassed nurses get better health care treatment without insurance than retired military vets who served this country. It’s heart breaking. Working in a hospital these days happily you have to be delusional and in denial. It’s not a fair system and nurses are just the first ones to feel it because we ran the dam place

I refuse to Work in the medical hotel industry

I’m going through the exact same situation (had a daughter as well, started as a new grad in ICU, did two years, and felt the overwhelming anxiety upon returning from maternity leave). I didn’t return after my first day back. At the time my hospital was also transitioning to a new charting system, but my return would be after the super users for the system would have left and there would be no immediate help with learning where to find things. Would you believe that on top of all the responsibilities in the icu, I was left to learn how to navigate this ehr all on my own? Despite asking countless neighbors and charge for help, they were only able to answer few questions as they were also “busy,” but they had also had 3 weeks with designated super users throughout the unit to go to at anytime for help. Maybe if I had one shadow day to reorient my skills that I hadn’t used for 2 months and get familiar with the system, it wouldn’t have been so terrible. I was also just barely able to pump to maintain my milk supply. I guilted myself for awhile that I was a failure, but looking back, the icu failed me. When you’re busting your butt on top of being the maid, phlebotomy, transport, emotional therapist, pt, ot,case management, fixing dr orders etc, all while trying to keep people alive who are seriously sick and/or crashing and you have to teach yourself a new charting system, you forget that it’s okay to put yourself first for once. I’ve come to realize that having RN next to your name seems to have an underlying expectation to people that you’re supposed to be abused and overworked. No more. my family and my daughter especially need a happy mom, not a miserable overworked one. I have no regrets and have been applying to outpatient surgery centers. Thank you for uploading this, it made me feel more confident in my decision to leave.

Love it sounds like you’re an empath. Look into that and find ways to take care of yourself. Wishing you the best 💕

Your a smart young woman! I have been an LPN for over 13 years and I actually quit my job 1 year ago the 1st of July. I worked in outpatient in internal medicine. Most of my patients were elderly and mostly all of them with multisystem health related issues. I loved my job and the people I worked with and my patients too. I did at one time want to further my career to RN however nursing has changed drastically over the last many years and as you describe very well it takes a special kind of person to shoulder the responsibility of what being a nurse entails and it’s different from area to area. I am one of those that thrived in working under the type of stress that the ICU and emergency department worked under. And the pace of the internal medicine practice I was in was no exception to that because internists handle the majority of the sickest of people. But there comes a point when we all get tired and need something new and your very right that not every aspect of nursing fits every nurse and below the schooling and the liscense and responsibilities a nurse holds we are still human and we too need happiness and to be in a place where we are valued and feel safe carrying out such huge responsibilities. To recognize this so early in your career is a good thing. if I can tell you one thing I would tell you that no matter how long you stay in this career don’t let the career define you or fall into the trap that being a nurse is all life has to offer you. There’s a world of work and experiences out there to be had and there is a lot more to life than just a career. This past year has been a huge transition for me and I am still not set on returning to the medical field as I have been in that world since I was 18 in some way shape or form and I transitioned a bit late in life to becoming a nurse. It’s been very rewarding and very stressful too and my mind has enjoyed not having to be in critical think mode all of the time. And I am not sure I want to finish out my life in that mode either.

Great Honest Video!!!

I am doing my first contract out of ICU after working there for 14 years. Now I have 4 to 5 Patients with much less stress.

Ty❤

I am at that place, i been in critical care for 10 years and feel pretty much the same.

I can relate to you, Good luck. Can you do a day in the life of a nurse, and also fashion vlog you have some nice selections of clothing in your background closet. Just wondering, if not it’s okay.

I can hear the pain in your voice. There is no shame in finding something you love doing. If that means giving up one job for another, so be it.

I’ve been an ICU nurse for 23 yrs and I still love it. I love mentoring new nurses. Icu is not for everyone but I’m glad you realized it wasn’t for you. Good luck

I was looked down on by the BSN grads because I had a three year clinical RN education. They were deer in the headlights while I was passing meds, changing beds & making care plans. I gave up after 5 years of practice. Even in the late 80s, I could see profit controlling care & refused to be a part of it. The education & clinical experience never left me, 20+ years later, I directed my care after being crushed under a low boy trailer. I survived a flail chest without puncturing my lung. The PCAs managed to do it transferring me the night before my 10 hour chest reconstruction, thanks 😕 For anyone in the caring community, if caring for others takes place of caring for yourself, get out. You'll be doing yourself & your patients a favor. Coincidentally, this is my 7 year "lucky to be alive" anniversary. It's been great exceeding expectations for my recovery! I'm the most Metal Granny I know 😊

Did you work days or nights? And how was the staffing?

Same sister! Would love to take the experience with me as a memory, maybe make a life out of it. There are so many ways. Subscribed, good luck!

I’m scared but I have to do ICU in order to go to CRNA school smh

What do you do in your new role at the surgery center?

This is clearly not for everyone. I've seen a number of new grads scared of the hospital. I worked on a med/surg floor and liked the patient ratios. I learned alot.

As a floor nurse of 30 years it all comes to money in the end. To have a new grad in any ICU is dangerous and unsafe. Your anxiety was from you being in a position that requires YEARS of experience. Now all they care about is how cheap is a new grad compared to a high step Rn. Their is nothing better than 1-2 years on a med surg floor before you move without thinking. 5 years to become a novice. One day a week your going to run into new policies, new equipment etc…. I left top of the pay scale as a per diem (only 2 of us left they were not hiring per diems anymore too expensive). Don’t be hard on yourself it’s just not safe to put a new grad in a ICU who can’t react in a second from years of experience. I’m happy to hear your liking your new position and happy motherhood!!! Congrats on graduate school.

And this is why most ICU's won't hire new nurses. You were not ready.