I believe that the panic attacks and anxiety come from knowing that our livelihood is always at risk whenever we don't deliver every single time is what's hugely contributing to that heavy chest feeling we get. Everyone is replaceable and companies don't try to retain people anymore. There's always someone else willing to take someone's place in a second.

The harsh reality is that this field pays so much for a reason. The VAST majority of people end up quitting the field because it's too difficult and requires constant learning in your free time. Big tech companies and bootcamps have done a good job marketing to the masses that "anyone can code". Sure, anyone can code.. but not many can do it professionally.

You highlighted an issue that I see all too often in IT now. They expect you to walk in the door, sit down, and complete the work as if you worked there for 20 years. No shadowing of current workers, nor procedures given to you to follow. That's not IT. I saw a new IT co-worker make a serious mistake this week because of this. They fail to realize that each company runs their IT departments differently, and not only that, but IT is broad and each place uses either different things or uses things differently. I'm glad you got out of it and I'm sure your life will improve.

Im old school and started tech career 35 yrs ago...it's stressful and sink or swim situation..even on the business side of it. Unfortunately there is no training. Everyone goes through challenges, but people have to start realizing that we need mental rest too.

I was like that first 2 years of my career. With more experience, you become more confident, and there is nothing wrong if you don't know something or need help. Your colleagues expect you to be proactive; come and ask if you need them. Rest is important for productivity

Thank you for being so transparent about your anxiety. I too, suffer from anxiety and it is nice to see that others go through the same thing because I felt very isolated as if I were strange.

I relate to what you describe so much. I’ve been in my role for 1 year and 7 months and I know the feeling of feeling anxiety, heart palpitations, working all thru the night to ensure everything is done, that physical feeling of just being sick at the thought of the assignments and workload. I also struggle to ask ?s sometimes. It’s encouraging that you had the courage to resign and I’m glad you gained clarity post experience and spoke about the necessary mindset shifts

Hey Jess! I recently started my code and software engineering journey and found your page its really helped me out thank you! I hope its ok i just want to send you a little prayer. Dear father I pray for jess and any fears or anxiety she has. I pray that you protect her from any lies that the enemy or even her self that she's been listening to and that you just tell her how smart and talented she is! I pray for her finances, for her family for her children! I pray that you bless her 100 times more then she's blessed me! I pray for mind, her body and her spirit Father and I just say this prayer not in any pastors name, or any teacher but I say this in the name of Jesus! Amen! Thank you again Jess! :)

I'm getting back into coding. I felt everything you shared. I did it all wrong my first time around. I remember the late nights and not asking for help. This time I'm going to enjoy all the challenges and victories. You gain an new sub. I felt like we just had a conversation. Thanks for sharing.

Aww your Grammy 💔😩 I feel like agencies are the most toxic spaces to work for devs by default. I have pulled a toxic amount of all nighters trying to keep up. There’s never time to friggin know how to do something because it’s always due, it’s such a jumbled way to work 😮‍💨 You are so correct about rest!! Running oneself into the ground gets bad fast. Thank you for being honest about this! Too many dev videos glamorizing jobs & free coffee & lunch but aren’t being honest about day to day life. I know you have more stories to share, we here girl & Happy Mother’s Day ❤

I also quit my job it was a toxic environment but I quickly realized is that growing a KZfaq channel is hard, I am still with 93 subscribers since last year however quiting is not an option. Thank you for sharing

Hi Jess, I'm really sorry about the loss of your grandmother. I hope you continue to find peace in life. I lost my grandmother back in 2021 and it is a loss that is difficult to describe and is the worse pain I have ever felt. It is funny that you said "why am I crying?". It is rough....my eyes are glazing over right now. Sometimes I cry and other times I laugh. It is part of the grieving process and I appreciate you sharing this video and your transparency and vulnerability. I related to how you felt at your job.....while I didnt have panic attacks I would at times have GI stress or start crying before having to go to work (not even on the most stressful days....just on a regular day). The stressful days feel like do or die and I just enter a thug mode (even though I am dying inside). I remember one time though early on in my current job that I couldnt figure out something basic and left work cause I was about to start crying. Now I can do that thing with my eyes closed. It is amazing how much me let certains voices run wild. I had a feeling what bootcamp you were alluding to. I'm currently doing that bootcamp. Anyhoo I subscribed and I'm excited to see where we end up in our journeys. 🎉

Thanks for sharing. It's refreshing to hear your story and transparency of working in the tech space. You are a gem and very inspiring. You remind me to keep pushing at my own pace and know when to stop and REST. I can't wait to hear about the free bootcamp you found. Take care!!

I subscribed because you were brave enough to show the emotions you had about your Grandma. Thank you for your transparency.

Thank you for sharing your story with us!!

I ran into this video on here and it was very helpful, Thank you for the insight.

Happy Mother’s Day 🌻! Thank you for sharing your experiences and I’m sorry for your loss. You are describing me at my current job😩. Anxiety and panic attacks and in my case, leads who have lied about how long it takes me to turnover tasks (and I have addressed this with the liars professionally lol) but now, I hate the place LOL. Also, I’m the first to tell people: 5pm, shut off the laptop and go live life. Anyway, I’m glad you’re doing well and I feel so proud of you. Take care Jess!

I know that feeling so well. I am happy you made the decision to walk away. Sundays are the worst day for me. I feel like I go through a personality change exactly at 4:00 p.m. on Sunday. A part of my anxiety came from the workload the team pushed on me and with very little support which caused me to burnout. I plan to walk away from my role in 2 weeks. Sending lots of love and peace to you ❤

makes so much sense that you're taking your time to do it at your own pace, and having that discipline to show up daily for yourself to learn, grow, and apply what you're actively learning along the way. And also thank you for sharing your journey with us! So awesome what you're doing and being a wonderful example for your kids to follow your passion/dreams

As a beginning coder with anxiety and is neurodivergent i really appreciate your insight. It helped me see the negative impacts of front end development, but this video made them feel less scary. I feel like your video gave me a glimpse into what it would be like to do this for a living. Thank you for sharing your experience and empowering me a little bit.😊

My stomach rumbled and turned as you were getting into it describing the feelings,, it just took me back😒. I quit my Tech job in 2022 September on my birthday and never looked back, Im a struggling entrepreneur and Im loving my journey, the energy and peace I have is priceless

Thanks for sharing. I'm sure you'll help a lot of people with your testimony. This is exactly why I'm not rushing to leave what I'm doing right now for money. Mental health is SO important to me. Glad you did what was best for you.❤

This video resonated with me so much. The imposter syndrome, the just being thrown into tasks or being given a vague task and trying to figure it out. Making good money and working with good people and good company culture but the stress and pressure I'm feeling ugh. I too did not go into the interview lying but the role I'm in varies by company on top of me being one of the only black people in the department. I'm really debating on if the salary is worth the anxiety I have and if I can afford to quit.

Thank you so much for that. Really. I've been feeling the same also because of the nature of my job. Thank you for sharing!🙏

First, my condolences for your loss. Second, i love your videos. I appreciate your honesty and giving your side of working in tech. Please keep it up. Just started my journey in coding. I've gotten the basics of HTML, CSS, and am currently working on Python

Thank you for sharing this. There’s a lot of super important takeaways from this video. And not just for people who wanna work in tech, but any job. Seriously, thanks for being open and honest about your experience at this job. I’ve dealt with anxiety and panic attacks before too, it sucks and it can really make things harder. I’m glad you’re working through it and I know you’re gonna be alright. Appreciate the video. 🙏🏼

Your well being is definitely important And kudos to you for putting you first! I definitely want to try software engineering and so far the exposure has been so much fun 🤩

Thank you for your transparency. I’m glad you were able to realize that you needed to step away and are about to do so. In terms of freelancing, when did you know you were ready to take on clients? I feel as if I don’t know enough and that’s stopping me + figuring out a rate and how to get clients

Absolutely amazing video! Thank you

Some very insightful lessons! Thank you for sharing ❤

Thought this video would discourage me but no, you've given great advice, I appreciate you!! Thank you

Relatable. Thank you for sharing. Life is a gift and I believe we deserve to have a career where our mental health thrives. Go you for prioritizing you. I quit too

You a such a star! I just went to your website, SWEEEET!... You very talented and real, jus luv ya. I'll be calling😅

I respect your transparency a lot. Tech is changing people’s lives because of the money, money, money, but how are these people really feeling and what are you going through mentally everyday. This info helps to know what to expect and how to manage the pros and cons that come with the job.

Thank you for sharing and being so honest and open about your experience. You spoke about so many things that I think we all face at some point or another during our careers. I'm exploring options for roles within tech, and having this perspective is by no means discouraging, but very enlightening, so much appreciated. 🙏🏾 Wishing you all the best on your journey as I'm sure you'll continue doing great things!✨

I'm sorry for your loss. Stay up, something great is coming!

you're my biggest inspiration! I'm trying to break into this field now and you are encouraging me, thank you

Loved listening to ur experience. Thank you. ❤

Thank you so much for this great video. I'm in the same phase, and I'm going to resign next week. Your talk helped me a lot to feel that I'm not alone and know that I'm going to get better and more successful ❤

Love your transparency

Open and honest you are in this video thank you so much for this I really learned a lot just by watching your experience you're helping so many of us that I'm very smart gifted and able

I’m in a totally diff field but totally relate to this. Thank you for your honesty.

It sounds like you were going through a lot 🥲 I hope you’re feeling a bit better. Your journey is so inspiring and I appreciate the transparency about the stress of the job. I want to break into tech and I’m currently learning html and css, but I’m worried about that hustle culture that seems to be the norm in a lot of tech jobs. Do you think it’s possible to freelance as a front end dev? I deal with chronic illness so I know a stressful work environment is a no-go for me. Either way, kudos for putting your mental health first and I wish you all the best! 🥰

Thank you so much for sharing your story! 🍀 I could totally relate when you said that sometimes all you need to do to be able to solve a coding problem that you've been struggling on for so long is by actually taking a break from it. I'm still 1.5 months in, learning from HTML and now to Javascript, and I have a full-time job too. I really want to quit my current job by the end of this year, so I've been cramming like crazy, waking up early, then study 3 hours before and after work, and during weekend I would spend 6-8 hours studying, it sucked my energy so fast 😂😂 1-2 week of doing that, I got really burned out and ended up making a slower progress learning. It was harder for my brain to solve a problem, but once I changed my routine and be kinder to my brain, it's not as draining anymore and my learning progress is getting better. Like what they said, something that is too much is never good, and the same thing applies to coding/working too. Also, I'm so glad that you talked about how we shouldn't be afraid to ask when we don't know something. Tbh, that's one of my fears of changing my current job too, because I also don't have a CS background, and since I'm not a fresh graduate anymore, I feel like it'll be harder to ask questions, especially because your job is not a school/college, and people won't be able to hold your hand to guide/ teach you stuffs. But hearing you say that, I feel less anxious now, so thank you! Sorry for the long comment! I really enjoy your videos, and looking forward for the next ones. Hope you have a wonderful weekend! ☺

may the best be ahead for you in this new journey in entrepreneurship and your faith continue to guide you in this journey

Hi Jess, firstly thank you for sharing your journey so far and also my deepest condolences for your loss, i wish you peace and blessings 💐 im so fortunate that ive found your channel because im also working towards becoming a frontend developer after studying UX design recently and realised after adding HTML and CSS to my skillset that Ive fallen in love with coding and actually enjoy it more than designing! Thankfully, ive got my foot in the door of tech working as a tech support for a software company here in Melbourne, Australia and have worked my way up to a slightly more seniour role where im helping to custom build solutions for our clients. This is mostly built inside our internal builder that was made by our development team some time ago, although the role has meant that ive had to learn some HTML, CSS and some SQL as well. I have just LOVED learning all three so far and im hungry to learn more. I would love to have a 30 min call with you sometime, you seem so nice, very smart and someone who has a warm heart and empathy for others 😊 I also relate to your faith and how youre leaning into that, it can be a real comforter in times of need! Im Greek Orthodox and so i share your Christian faith too :) blessings to you and I hope we can speak sometime soon! Sophie from Australia 😁

Thanks for the video, you’re beautiful inside out. Keep motivating others, God bless you and your family.

I think as developers we should press back on the product team and say we cannot do this in this timeframe.

I graduated with a computer science degree in 1999 tech changes so much and if you’re ready for the race then have it it can be lucrative but constant

I had the same exact feelings of anxiety hanging over my head for the last 20 years as a frontend dev. I got a web development job at 19, straight out of school. I’m 41 now and just quit a very nice remote tech job last October to FINALLY take a break. I always called developer jobs a “mindf**k” but you’ve put it much more eloquently! This video is so great, and I feel like you’ve read my mind. Now that I’ve quit, I feel like myself again. I don’t know who that other girl was. She didn’t really have hobbies, happiness, or outside interests. I would work at night to make up for “not being as good as the other developers.” If I was going to worry about not being able to solve the problem, and lose sleep over it, I might as well be working on it, right? There was always a dark cloud hanging over my head…and I too, struggle to ask for help. I’m glad to hear you talk about how asking for help isn’t a bad thing. I hardly ever showed visible signs of anxiety, and even got used to it as my default setting. I think everyone else thought I really had my s**t together and even thought of me as a dev lead! It feels really good to feel sane and normal again, while being detached from that world for the first time in my adult life. I’m loving this video and feel like I’m looking in a mirror, so of course I subscribed. I love frontend development and hope I can use this break to learn how to manage these feelings of inadequacy if/when I return to the industry.

i felt like that pulling yourself for work and lots of pressure plus the anxiety of demanding tech world😅.. thank you for sharing this..❤

Good for you having the sense to walk away. I've worked in tech for 29 years. I love it but it's challenging sometimes.

I'm glad I came across your page. I started a 100 days of coding course on Udemy, and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes. thank you for sharing your journey.

This is exactly how I feel right now working on tech company. I’m not even a dev but I can feel your pain. 😢

great video explaining what it takes to be a software engineer, people talk about the high paying job part but no one talks about the huge mental compute involved in the filed and what we go through mentally. the job requires so much thinking endlessly over and over again especially when the company is making stupid and senseless decisions, even make things worse having to deal with garbage work that challenges our brains for no reason other than company/team being stupid

i wish you all the best beautiful, you've been an inspiration! GOD'S got you!

Great video thanks. ❤

So sorry to hear about your dear grandma, Jess. May God kindly grant her eternal bliss in Heaven and may you find solace in all the beautiful memories you shared together. 🙏🕊🙏

oh man this is my EXACT experience with product design. Like EVERYTHING you said. Down to losing a loved one and going thru so many changes in my personal life. Ive been in my first role for about 1.8yrs and i still feel incompetent. I hate it. The people and the company are fine but the level of anxiety, stress and frustration that i have daily is unhealthy. I often cant sleep bc im worried about work so i think thats my sign. Maybe ill try a diff company but i genuinely feel like my desire in ux design has been completely obliterated

Thank you for sharing your experiene

Thank you so much for this video. You have no idea how much it helped me. In more than one way. I'm still struggling with taking things into my own hands and not allowing God enough time to lead me in the right direction and the money of the tech industry is really alluring. I'm ready to switch roles but just not sure which one to pursue and when i tell you i felt like God was speaking through you. I just wanna say thank you 🙏❤

YES GIRL. THIS IS YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO LIVE IT!!!!

Awesome insight.

Good material. thx

You expressed so greatly what many are feeling ❤

It sounds like you have imposter syndrome, try practicing meditating, I'm a self tough Frontend web developer, and to get through I use meditation, take care of your health, and keep pushing on you got this.

I feel you, had the same experience, and agree that no amount of money is worth the stress and sacrifice to your mental health..

Bravo to you for recognizing that what you thought would be your dream job didn't internally make you happy. I am from Silicon Valley and I work on the business side of tech. I can tell you from speaking to colleagues in engineering that's coding is not for the weak. It's a very"1 upper" type of environment they say and tech moves unbelievably fast. These colleagues who have gone to the best schools and have been coding for years still say they learn something with each new project. Pat yourself on the back because landing the interview and then being given a job offer is the Biggest hurdle - and you did it! You crossed over! Kudos to you! Now, I look forward to hearing about this free boot camp, as I enrolled in the boot camp called SheCodes, and I did not like it. I regret paying $149/month for it and actually asked for a refund. So please share that free coding boot camp info! I want to enroll!

Great story

Im doing a Data Science bootcamp and girl 6months in i already want out😭 its so hard my mind is always burning😔 when im done im gone take that that certificate and throw it where i can never find it im going back to my physical demanding job atleast i had sanity 😟😭

I deal with Bi-Polar disorder. It is hard for me. I have my good days and bad. I'm rooting for you. Also, self taught web developer here.

Im so glad I've had jobs since 2018 that were fully remote. For my last in-office tech job, my anxiety was so bad and was continually getting worse as more people quit and workloads were way too high. Everyone was doing the work of 2-3 people. Management kept saying they would do mass hiring to backfill the open positions. That job refused to let anyone work from home no matter the reason. Literally people crying in the bathrooms or just physically shaking while sitting at their desks trying to make it through the day to complete projects with impossible deadlins. I basically was sitting under my cubicle desk with my laptop or in the empty stairwell since everyone took the elevators. Like i needed quiet and wanted a bit of seclusion to really be able to think but headphones of any kind weren't allowed and eventually they wanted people in their cubicles. Management did not care even though they could see the mental health decline. Turnover was so high and they were micromanaging like crazy. God that place was horrid.

I haven’t quit my job, but I will be. I’m an Data Analyst. The management at this company is horrible! I was happy for the first year, but after that the work environment turned toxic.. I’m actively applying for new roles. Valleys build character for sure. Keep your head up and continue to inspire. Also, you have yourself a new subscriber.

I’m thinking of leaving my corporate job as well age 48, but I want to mention something here because I am one of those managers asking when something will be done. Sorry to hear you wanted to run and hide, my advice is to communicate with those managers! Ask for the time you need! They are having to feed that information up into management meetings and it can really stressing tech staff don’t communicate the issues they are having and give realistic estimates! Make space for yourself to think. If you think it should take 3 days, ask for 6 days! Make space to breathe, think, check the work and fix mistakes. Rushing it is a false economy ❤

It's ok to cry. You don't need to rationalize it or apologize for it to anyone. Healing vibes for your pain~

Im working in tech now and this resonates with me 100% . I recognize that I am privileged to have a high paying job during these though economic times but I do think that the mental stresses of working in this industry is often trivialized. I started taking meds to manage my anxiety and thwart my panic attacks. To be honest, I'd rather make less money (within reason) for the sake of safeguarding my mental health. I'm looking into an exist strategy, possibly going to a trade school top become an electrician or something.

I love the transparency! I know you said you're going to do freelancing but do you also intend to work in another field while freelancing or just do the freelancing? I only ask because. I'm on a similar journey and still bringing in an income is a big worry of mine before deciding to jump head into being a freelancer/entrepreneur

Your story is inspiring, I am struggling to understand if web dev is for me as I currently work at a media agency planning ad campaigns for huge client and it does kill me mentally. There is no joy whatsoever in that work I thought I would switch to web development and did a bootcamp to realise I was not "Job ready" Just down a rabbit hole and feel so low at the moment that man death seems like a better option. But helping people always resonated with me and the last few minutes really stuck with me. I have always tried to help someone else before I help myself but I feel like I am losing the plot cause I need to find a way to help myself....

This vid is a lesson in everything not to do while working in tech.

Do you mind sharing the name of the bootcamp you were talking about?

Try quitting a job with no savings. Burn out applies only to highly paid tech or corporate employees who can lose their jobs, and their life is not affected.

This is why I recommend all employers with developers have work from home days. It’s truly better for the developer you will get more from the dev. Win win!

It's called modern wage slavery. Many people dont see it until they burn out or quit their job

Being a computer programmer doesn't require constant learning if you put your roots down at a certain company, learn their codebase inside out, and become valuable to them. Then you are pretty safe. You will be the last on the chopping block during layoffs, because the company knows your worth. The constant learning, that will be drastically cut down if you stay at ONE good company like I said. And it also helps to focus more on the backend server side dev than front end UI dev. Front end changes a LOT more than C#, C++ and Java.

I give my $5 an hr vurtual assistants more guidance, operational guides, amd mentorship than they did at my 6 figure tech position. Left for my side buiness, which earned me twice as much within 2 years.

I felt every single word. Subscribed and binging.

It sounds like part of the decision to quit was related to the job itself because you spoke about the complexity of the tasks and the questions from managers impacting on you. Grief is definitely not easy to manage, being a parent is a lifelong task and children always take priority. The only thing you had some level of control over was the wedding date and the planning of it. It sounds like you made the right decision for you.

have u read bhagwat gita book by srila prabhupada .It helps me in web development how it work for u also.

6:04 Your safe place. Makes perfect sense. 🙂

im exact same, engineer here. i got panic attacks on weekly basis, i cant quit though, i got mortgage and car payments lol, im just a hampster in wheel

Glory hallelujah... amen! Turn on your radio with the Holy Ghost instrumental or worship music. It will bring peace and change your atmosphere in God's love. Speaking from experience. Thanks for being transparent. Blessings and joy!

This was confirmation ❤Ty

Would you have the oppourtnity to work from home every day if you wanted as in they would let you?

Hit subscribe because this video really helped me a lot emotionally. Thanks for letting me know I am not alone.

I definitely been there I use to lose sleep trying to figure out my job.

I quit my 170k a year high tech job. Too stressed, no work life balance, no respect for boundaries, racist and misogynistic coworkers!

I quit my $210K work from home tech job in March after 2yrs. The work culture wasnt even toxic and the people were great. Still the best decision I ever made.

Man you explain my feelings and I’ve been doing this for 12 years or so! Constant anxiety of thinking you can’t do the job being asked. Worrying about picking up a new project because you don’t know if you have the skills to do it. It’s an awful sinking feeling and feel like you can’t focus on anything else. I’ve got kids and my salary pays the bills so I just keep going but it’s so hard! Fair play for quitting and bettering your mental health!

I understand.

Thank you for sharing. After working so hard to get a fancy coding job (and getting laid off after years of struggle) I don’t know if I want to go back. I used to be resilient. I’m not sure if it’s me, the industry or working remote, but it took it out of me majorly. Right now I could get several diagnosis: ADHD is one, but they’re the result of the work/culture/lifestyle. I’m not healthy. And money isn’t enough of a motivator. 😢