Why I Quit Therapy
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If I had it to do over again, I would have stopped going to therapy long before I did. Most commenters on this channel told me they felt the same way; a few were astonished and wanted to know more. In this video I explain WHY therapy not only didn't help me heal from Childhood PTSD / CPTSD, but how it put me at risk. Be sure to watch until the end! I talk about what DID enable me to heal, and the need for more self-determination around our own healing .
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@HALLTOM 3 жыл бұрын
Speaking as a licensed clinical psychologist, I can attest that you are ahead of the curve and the public service you are providing is a testament to your dedication to help others. Not only am I learning from you, I'm also reminded why I was drawn to my profession in the first place. Thank-you.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you -- your comment means a great deal to me, and I'm glad there are people like you out there! I'd very much like to support clinical professionals in serving people with CPTSD. If you have insights about this, I'd love to hear from you: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com
@Bhanoo4UTube 2 жыл бұрын
💖
@heartspacerelaxations6924 2 жыл бұрын
Do you believe EMDR is a helpful add on to group / coaching like this lady offers
@NewNew44519 Жыл бұрын
@@heartspacerelaxations6924 yes.
@saskiaguy1940 Жыл бұрын
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Respect!
@lilalienangel 4 жыл бұрын
I think the problem inlies in the fact they open a can of worms yet there is no time to work through it. The worms have no place to go.. 1 hour just doesn't cut it..
@davidbrown6056 4 жыл бұрын
lilalienangel - so true , in fact that’s the very words I used - if we look at my T’s it’s going to be like opening a can of worms. Therapy seems so limited after 2 + yrs. for me even EMDR had such a bad effect on me. I like what I’m hearing in this video. I’m going to have to think hard about my choices.
@lunaflamed 4 жыл бұрын
Same.
@sononi4798 4 жыл бұрын
Yes it's like taking you into the emotional flashback of your trauma and then sending you out the door to face life all raw and ragged and alone.
@happyd1479 4 жыл бұрын
So true
@happyd1479 4 жыл бұрын
@@sononi4798 so on point they just dont get it
@Captain_Pink 3 жыл бұрын
I saw this the other day and thought it was great, and it was a practitioner (could've been a doctor but also could've been a therapist) saying "Don't mistake your 5 hours of google searching for my 4 years of medical school." And the response was "Don't mistake your 3 month class on this for my 20+ years of living with it."
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
BOOM! Yes. Thanks.
@arfajmind2984 2 жыл бұрын
Don't mistake the 3 months class she/he took with the years or decades of data & research scientists used to reach to their conclusions..
@ms.anonymousinformer242 2 жыл бұрын
@@arfajmind2984 they don't usually have decades of data.
@themaggattack 2 жыл бұрын
@@arfajmind2984 Don't mistake medical politics, the textbook industry, and big pharma as the end-all, be-all source of all knowledge.
@arfajmind2984 2 жыл бұрын
@@themaggattack yup, also.. Keep in mind that one person's -own - experience can have plenty of blindspots & blocks..
@barbaraa3280 3 жыл бұрын
Mine always said, "you can't keep being angry. You'll never grow." I have a huge right to be angry. I grew a lot when I got away from the vultures described as "family"
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
:)
@sunnydaye5942 2 жыл бұрын
I looked at family being to ones that will screw you over hardest and farthest. Never understood why people wanted to live near pr have anything to do with their family.... Mine was not good.
@Moop666 2 жыл бұрын
Wow god therapy is so retarded
@BassMeisterable 2 жыл бұрын
@@sunnydaye5942 Yeah, just because there are other individuals related to you by blood doesn't necessarily mean that they are "family". I like my brother and my cousins but I also have a good friend of mine who I could call family. I think the whole thing of "family sticks together" is from older times where you essentially had to keep each other alive through work and chores and whatnot. For some of us, we currently live in a different time with different needs since some necessities are met and we get different problems and issues.
@sunnydaye5942 2 жыл бұрын
@@smilingsun581 oh that makes me mad when they say its in the past get over it. Especially when they are taking OUR money. Ive walked out on therapists who dont have a clue and told me to "just deal with it" or leave. I left. Both therapy and jerks.
@angelahill3556 4 жыл бұрын
Every therapist i ever had made excuses for abuse & abusers. Always trying to force me to forgive my abusers. Most know nothing of complex trauma.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I think it's common for folks to be confused between "forgiveness" and "more in control of the trigger." There are a lot of ways to calm the trigger and for me, forgiveness (when it's happened) came as a by-product to healing the trigger, not the other way around.
@charliet7124 4 жыл бұрын
That happened to me a couple of weeks ago! So aggravating. Not going back
@vlst8715 4 жыл бұрын
Oh, yeah. "Why do you talk only about negative stuff they've done to you? They must have a positive side you're totally missing! You must be very immature and vindictive to everyone!" Right, right, just forget about any malignant behavior, any damage and go hug your abuser I guess. Absolutely no need to protect yourself. Forgiveness is not given, it's earned. Or it's not any different from ignorance.
@suebrown7032 4 жыл бұрын
🙋🏻♀️Lady or sir, you don’t intimidate me or scare me, iv had to dodge bullets soooo....🤷🏼♀️I wish you well working thru ur pain, have a nice day
@elleh3495 4 жыл бұрын
Angela Hill yes and always under the guise of "forgiveness is a gift you give yourself" type thinking. There are unforgiveable things people do to each other--and understanding that is more realistic then reinterpreting the word " forgiveness".
@gloriakurkowski101 2 жыл бұрын
Psychiatrists, Psychologists. Therapists not one of them mentioned CPTSD or PTSD at all. After 30 years of being misdiagnosed, prescribed every drug possible, I lost my lively hood, marriages and family. Thank you for your hard work and giving me the answers when no one else cared to do so. At least this last chapter of my life appears to be looking up. Again, thank you.
@zinilebt6002 Жыл бұрын
Don't give up. No matter how old you are. Im doing online Trauma Therapy at the moment. And everything she says is like "Oh my God she is talking about me, like Whaaat?" It is a Video course with video conferences where she goes through all the questions. I never felt so seen and heard in my life. Im 42 now and this is the first thing that really makes me feel connected and understood. Use the Internet, do Courses you can afford and learn about your nervous System and how to regulate it. We are pioneers in a traumatized world. That is a very important job and we can help others later. I wish you all the best. greets from germany
@nancyfahey7518 Жыл бұрын
Ditto. I am 68 years old.
@SamBKearns Жыл бұрын
Same here, except that at 47, a decade AFTER I quit therapy, I started to see a new psychiatrist out of desperation, and it was that psych that recommended Pete Walker's book on CPTSD and recommended Crappy Childhood Fairy. I'm not out of the woods yet, but this is the brightest light that's ever been at the end of the tunnel.
@wesboundmusic Жыл бұрын
Interesting to see that I'm not the only one having ultimately landed in this grim a place where I've lost everything I had set out to build for myself. And I'm also about to finally give up on (insurance sponsored) therapy, they just don't offer the kind of help and therapists who'd have the first idea of what complex PTSD was all about... so, I guess we're right where we've been all along: Taking charge for our well being, then as much as now in the process of healing from these very detrimental, disruptive and devastating experiences that left us majorly wounded - but not help- or hopeless forever, thank god (where "god" would denote our intrinsic need to be well and authentic connection with self that noone can ever completely destroy). Here's to coming around better than ever for the both of us, yes?
@SamBKearns Жыл бұрын
@@wesboundmusic I completely agree with your sentiment about the mental health industry being a major, additional source of neglect and abandonment trauma. Even with my current therapist, who has been vastly better than the others, I've had to take some control over the pace and direction of therapy to get what I really needed from it. That's how my psych ended up recommending external media sources like Crappy Childhood Therapy, Pete Walker (Complex PTSD) and Craig (rethinking Narcissism), because I was getting fed up with the very expensive and very slow pace of talk therapy. Fortunately she had the humility to accept that I needed more than she could give me face to face.
@grantlott3050 3 жыл бұрын
1000% agree with you. I saw 6 or so therapists, not much progress there... then I went to school to become a therapist. I dropped out and changed paths when I realized the high proportion or narcissism in this “mental health” community. Healing happens in life, it happens in strange places when we seek it. Thank you for your service!
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the comments!
@jozzz222 2 жыл бұрын
I am seeing that too in the field. What career did you pursue instead?
@jozzz222 2 жыл бұрын
@@xoyouaremysunshinexo what career did you switch to? Do you like your new career better?
@jozzz222 2 жыл бұрын
@@xoyouaremysunshinexo that’s amazing congrats 🎉 I wish I could do it but not really argumentative 😭😅😭
@js2010ish Жыл бұрын
Hmph!
@joserrapere5928 Жыл бұрын
I am a licensed clinical psychologist with CPTSD and I think what you are doing is wonderful. Therapists need this kind of training as part of our academics. The survivors are always the true teachers.
@BrokenInTheBox 4 жыл бұрын
I dropped out of trauma therapy when the counselor basically called me a liar because of talking about a recurring dream/nightmare where I was covered in mud and feces. The first time I only talked about the mud...later I mentioned the feces. He was quick to point out that I didn't mention the feces the first time I talked about the dream/nightmare. The judgy look upon his face was disgusting. If anyone's ever gardened, or been raised on a farm, then you know that black dirt that's full of cow manure. It was like that in my dream...I certainly didn't need some young guy fresh out of school judging me and nit picking my words and basically accusing me of being a liar simply because I didn't completely open up upon our first meeting. I found another counselor to see and went for nearly a year. I was getting sick prior to each appointment from the stress; and eventually just quit going. I have found that keeping a journal has been the best thing that I can do for myself. No judgments from my pen and paper! To anyone out there whose suffering, try the journal. Keep it in a lock box for privacy if you must, but write those thoughts/memories/dreams and nightmares down! And remember, whatever happened to you as a child was NOT your fault! You are worthy....you are deserving of respect and love; and most of all...you are enough! Love and blessings to all who suffer. 💙
@Hawaiiansky11 3 жыл бұрын
Sounds like you were going to a prosecuting attorney, not a therapist.
@bellj753 3 жыл бұрын
I like the lockbox idea. My BPD mom would always go through my whole room, ready my diary, etc. My diary helped me to cope but I stopped writing because she would find it no matter where I hid it. I have been away for 20+yrs but still can't write to heal because I'm so scared from her finding my most secret thoughts and using them against me. I just might get a lockbox and start writing.
@BrokenInTheBox 3 жыл бұрын
@@bellj753 I really hope you start writing again! It's very cathartic and allows the author to get through those emotions. My NPD Mom did the same when I was a teen. I'm pushing 50 and still keep my journals in a lock box.
@ms.rlsteele351 3 жыл бұрын
I hada psychiatrist tell me that "once I knew what the fuck I wanted..." blah blah blah. I found that that so unprofessional that I quit.
@collection6062 3 жыл бұрын
What a freaking wierdo lol. "you lied about your dream". Im sorry you had to deal with this!
@AnnafromHungarylvNW 4 жыл бұрын
Therapy sometimes reinforces rumination or the sense that 'if I solve this, then I'm going to be acceptable'.
@naturefleur2062 4 жыл бұрын
truthtoknow yes! And if it’s not working, then it’s because I wasn’t “doing it right”.
@SuperMrHiggins 3 жыл бұрын
Ah! You shot me in the stomach! Wait... this wound was already there! Yes. Spot on.
@sweetiedreams3158 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for writing this, I feel understood
@santacruzskirts 2 жыл бұрын
And it also reinforces “if they (the therapist) solves this, then I’m going to be acceptable”
@AliciaMarkoe 3 жыл бұрын
I stopped going to therapy when I realized that I was paying them for the privilege of entertaining them with my story. I'm very open and honest, and they get all caught up hearing my story, and we never got around to making things better.
@Eman14128 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly that why I left my therapist today.
@SharlenesJourney 2 жыл бұрын
Bouta quit therapy right now because this is exactly how I feel I’m tired of sharing my story and feeling drained after wards and still sad
@MultiSUNFLOWER18 2 жыл бұрын
That was actually what I thought as far as my life was just entertaining to the therapist. The last therapist I went to send me a card in the mail with a personnel number to call. It was unprofessional. I never called and never went back to a therapist.
@icyunvme2400 2 жыл бұрын
@@SharlenesJourney Same. But my last therapy session was three years ago. My family has been saying I need to go back. But thinking about how it made me feel and time wasted. I don’t think I will. I made it farther without.
@starfruitiger Жыл бұрын
💯 this. paying someone for you to give them storytime.
@KarmasAbutch 4 жыл бұрын
Some of the worst Therapists I’ve had were “*trauma informed*” Therapists. My trust in that *special* skill set did the most damage. I will never go back. They still have egos that get in their own way... just like everybody else. THey’re not Gods... they went to school to READ about people with your LIVED experience. No more *experts* for me. Trust No1
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
Yes, "trauma informed" has so far seemed more public health/political movement than solution
@missestomlinson99 3 жыл бұрын
Trust yourself is the answer, not trust no one
@melissathwaites415 3 жыл бұрын
Number 1
@kahlodiego5299 2 жыл бұрын
I think maybe the therapists who are attracted to that topic are weirdos who enjoy having Control over someone whose suffering.
@KarmasAbutch 2 жыл бұрын
@@missestomlinson99 thank you - I wasn’t clear - Trust Number 1 … trusting other people or not became much easier when stopped doing that first, over trusting myself, without realizing I was giving away my agency.
@lisacurfman6169 4 жыл бұрын
I agree with you, talk therapy made me feel still stuck, not fixed
@harrieta6961 4 жыл бұрын
Agreed x
@jasmineluxemburg6200 4 жыл бұрын
Self help with other survivors ! The very best, believe me I know !
@sspbrazil 3 жыл бұрын
Yep
@hunger4369 3 жыл бұрын
Because you need medicine. Depression or mental illness in general is something wrong in your brain. It’s not normal to wanna kill yourself.
@sspbrazil 3 жыл бұрын
@@hunger4369 that’s not true actually. Killing yourself can be a very normal act if you’re quality of life is diminished to a point where you can barely function. I think it’s a choice like any other choice we make in life. Medicine doesn’t work for everyone and some is more dangerous to the chemistry of the brain. We are all different and one size doesn’t not fit all. We are the only species that is is conscious of our own inevitable demise and that one aspect of being human motivates us to do what we do including the choice to take one’s own life.
@c1rcl3s 4 жыл бұрын
The first therapist I had I was only 17. He told me to write a letter to my parents and let it all out, and I wouldn't have to give it to them. The point is to process emotions. Well, he gave them the letter. He said that he lied because it was the only way to get to the bottom of everything. Well, my abusive parents tortured me for weeks afterwards. I was literally locked in my room with nothing in it, not even a bed. I will never talk to another therapist again.
@ASmith-jn7kf Жыл бұрын
Your parents sent you to a therapists??
@c1rcl3s Жыл бұрын
@@ASmith-jn7kf the school made me go
@call_in_sick Жыл бұрын
That was a breech of your rights I would have taken legal action against the therapist. Or at least reported him for breaching data protection.
@HermeticWorlds Жыл бұрын
I'm sorry that happened to you :(
@zinilebt6002 Жыл бұрын
This is so wrong it makes me angry. I'm so so sorry that that happened to you. What an A..hole!
@9lavender 2 жыл бұрын
"Healing is the outcome we want. Not the preservation of old rules and ideas about who is in charge of healing." Yes! Anna you are brilliant. Thank you.
@Learning2luvME Жыл бұрын
I loved that line too, healing is our end goal however it comes, from whomever it comes from. ( in a healthy constructive way of course.🙃)
@loriolson8500 Жыл бұрын
My ten. 1) move to hawaii 2) beach walk for exercise 3) talk kindly to strangers, but don't look for relationships 4) take care of animals (nurture) 5) eat healthy 6) work a job I'm passionate about (animal care) 7) be a friend 8) be easy on myself 9) stay anonymous 10) don't take responsibility for others. Need a rest ...
@kaoutar6921 20 күн бұрын
I love it ❤❤ thank you
@noellejoystrobridge1147 4 жыл бұрын
Is this why I’m consumed with negative feelings after every therapy session?
@kevcatnip7589 4 жыл бұрын
Alot to be said for you only know you and care
@chuckhockey9464 4 жыл бұрын
You relive the feelings time and time again
@jasmineluxemburg6200 4 жыл бұрын
Form a self help survivors group ! No more ignorance, no more put downs and dismissal, no more pomposity and no more hefty bills ! ‘What’s not to like’ ?
@ilyaibrahimovic9842 4 жыл бұрын
Not necessarily. There are a lot of reasons why you might be drowning in negative emotion after a therapy session. Runkle describes a situation in which the methodology used has the opposite effect to the intended effect. Someone in the comments suggested the one-hour limit was counterproductive because the therapy session was dragging out way more than could be dealt with in one hour so even if they were attempting a more effective method, she would still have a lot of hurt opened and unresolved at the end of the hour. Another reason might be that your therapist is incompetent and says things that are harming you because they don't know what they're doing. The worst possibility, uncommon but a non-zero fraction of cases, is that your therapist is outright some narcissist and/or psychopath putting you down to feel good about himself or herself. And there are probably other possibilities as well. Not a professional myself, but I would recommend trying to figure out why you feel so bad. What kinds of feelings do you experience, and any more than others? Anger is not the same as sadness, and those are only two. Might you be able to identify where it comes from? Something the therapist said? Some perception of yourself? Something you're reminded about? Be as specific as you can. You might need to start with just some hunch or some string of words floating in your mind or some sensation in your body. I can't really give you too specific of advice because the process varies individual to individual and I don't know anything about you. But the process might take some time, so I give you my encouragement.
@lydieuhh 3 жыл бұрын
Same! And extra sensitive
@AmericazSweetheart 4 жыл бұрын
I realized my therapist was a covert narcissist. She started using everything I told her against me. What a nightmare😒
@wisconsinfarmer4742 4 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry. Been there.
@alliarsenic 4 жыл бұрын
Report her to the licensing board in your state if the time frame for that isnt up.
@2Sugarbears 4 жыл бұрын
Had that one as well.
@alliarsenic 4 жыл бұрын
1OOsmiles im hoping thats not true for my case. i have yet to file a complaint against mine. Im sure if enough people file a complaint against one person though-they will be forced to do something, so i would suggest doing it.
@kathleenreisert8891 4 жыл бұрын
Starwater Cosmic Priestess A lot of those out there!
@crshia 3 жыл бұрын
Agreed! I spent 10 years with a cognitive behavior therapist who didn't understand PTSD - she unknowingly was retriggering me and caused me to stay inside my trauma response for months, and discouraged me from taking any anti-depressants. I left her when she told me to remember that "I wasn't a victim" the week after I left a 12-year abusive relationship and was struggling and crying. I found I had so much better help with a trauma specialist who understood the brain has to be helped to understand something isn't happening NOW. It's a survival mechanism that has to be reset and it has nothing to do with willpower.
@cherylrajewski3390 3 жыл бұрын
I find it very interesting about how writing about your feelings and then reading it was a way to communicate your "story". I think therapy is somewhat like a performance where you have no script, you just go in there and wing it and sometimes it takes most of the session just to get to the root of the issue and then bam...time is up. I also resented having to tell my personal inner feelings to this person without knowing what is going on in their head. It was a big distraction for me. I dread the idea of trying a new therapist because you have to spend all your first sessions that you are paying for to tell them about your childhood when you already did that with someone else.
@leandrahackwith3168 2 жыл бұрын
...retold the same story several times over and then some ‼️ I often wished I could hand them a syllabus to study before the first appointment to save us both the time (and me the$$$‼️)
@suzanne4396 2 жыл бұрын
And after a year together, every week, they leave ( you) to go start their own practice. Thanks for leaving me high n dry ...
@lizzzarduh Жыл бұрын
I agree with every sentence!!
@The7dioses 4 жыл бұрын
I wasted many years of my life trying to find a competent therapist... Never found one. I did find help however. on channels like yours, with people that have gone through the same type of experiences.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for letting me know that! Survivors have a lot to teach each other!
@claudiacastillo5898 4 жыл бұрын
I absolutely agree with this. Therapists are incompetent. They lack knowledge, they contradict themselves all the time, they are highly superficial and mostly, they don’t have good boundaries. I always found they shared their personal opinion, impose their beliefs, or focus the sessions on a topic that they were confortable addressing. Like, they would pathologize you an then treat said pathology, when in reality that was not the case at all.
@lonewolf-oc9vr 4 жыл бұрын
Actualy these video are better therapy
@poppydaisy4828 4 жыл бұрын
@@claudiacastillo5898 this is true.
@CassieDavis613 4 жыл бұрын
@@claudiacastillo5898 The final straw for me was when a therapist fell asleep. So I sat and watched her sleep. I did not pay for that session.
@amyjoy3741 4 жыл бұрын
I’m filled with emotion every time you talk about dysregulation. I’ve never heard the word and am in tears over the fact that someone finally understands. You have also experienced what I have lived with all my life. I just couldn’t deal with people anymore and had to quit working last year. I’m 56 and began to let myself remember bits of my childhood, fighting through the emotions, and even denying it all because of lack of support. I am very overwhelmed with all the work I have yet to do, but I want to thank you for being you and sharing your life.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
This is the kind of comment that makes my work worthwhile. I am so, so happy for you to find the info. I felt just the same way when I learned about it. It keeps getting better from this point forward. Sending my love!
@Luisa-cs2pd 3 жыл бұрын
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I agree totally with Amy. Your way of expressing these very strange things, is worth so much. Thank you.
@Luisa-cs2pd 3 жыл бұрын
I am your age too. I quit therapy after trying to get help for many years. Nothing helped. After a very tough situation in my job, I decided to quit. Things changed to the better after that. It´s been a long road and it will continue all my life, but I have found extreme help from prayers. I cannot explain how it all happened but I was drawn in an inexplicable way to convert to Catholicism. It has helped me tremendously. I struggled for long to get a job but found one (I don't have a fixed job so it is still uncertain) and I cannot explain how I've managed this far, other than Our Lord helping me through. I try to pray constantly and just let me be filled with the Holy Ghost. It has been a journey I never thought I could have managed. I have more Hope and Peace in my heart. I let myself be guided only by the good spirit. I am thankful beyond words. Take care and God bless you.
@favouritemusic8959 3 жыл бұрын
Oh Amy Joy I so wish l could talk to you. You spoke my story. Take care Amy and l wish us both all the very best on this tangled journey through life. I like your name too. Mary xx
@rsi4561 Жыл бұрын
I always wrote the check before I went to therapy. I totally click with what she is saying. I spent years in therapy without results. time alone writing n thinking n reading. self reflection. vids like these n I feel healthier than ever.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
That's great! Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@Kimosabe- 3 жыл бұрын
Anna Runkles, may every ounce of compassion you've given of yourself come back to you tenfold. Blessings
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
This is the kindest thing you could say. Thank you!
@stellabandante2727 4 жыл бұрын
I've seen probably a dozen therapists over the years. I never got anything positive from it. It always felt weird to be telling a stranger about my innermost difficulties. I never felt understood, much less assisted in coping with my struggles. I could not trust the process, feeling that the therapist was pretending to be interested because it was their job, and I was paying them. Haven't even considered it in years. Your work has been a brilliant source of understanding and growth.
@krystalrussell8046 4 жыл бұрын
I hear you.
@breh9243 3 жыл бұрын
@VINCENT VEGA I relate to this
@hunnybSue 3 жыл бұрын
I just refuse therapy now, I have been made to feel inadequate so many times. Not to mention nightmares.
@SS-tx3bt 3 жыл бұрын
You took the words out of my mouth! I think you Should be able to incorporate therapy into your daily life somehow in order to get to know your therapist and for them to get to know you. Like therapy during happy hour or over coffee. Where as you get to know each other your therapist can understand you better and you can learn to trust them with your feelings no matter how dark they are.
@andyokus5735 3 жыл бұрын
They will turn you in to feel powerful. I worked in the mental health field. It's nothing but one big insurance scam. I quickly left it.
@adamlewis5073 4 жыл бұрын
If a therapist is writing hate emails to you like that, i suspect how good of a therapist they are.
@kathleenkeane9152 3 жыл бұрын
Yeah NFG in my opinion 👍
@kathleendinsmore7588 2 жыл бұрын
Talk therapy felt like reliving the trauma all over again! It was bad enough to live it. Let the healing begin! We can take charge of our own recovery and ultimately it is our right and our responsibility to do so.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 2 жыл бұрын
Right on! -Cara@TeamFairy
@nastyak4516 Жыл бұрын
This is a point of therapy. You reliving trauma in safe envairment with kind and caring person you trust. You go through your pain over and over again releasing pain. Until is no more. Just memories
@denisedevoto2834 Жыл бұрын
That is exactly how I felt too! At the end of my sessions I was either sad or angry. My meditation instructor was instrumental in helping me to start healing.
@ASmith-jn7kf Жыл бұрын
@@nastyak4516 they are already memories, you don't trust your therapist you don't know them and how is it a safe environment??
@immortalnow Жыл бұрын
I quit therapists after a point because I got better help from people who had dealt successfully with my same problems in a 12 Step context. The focus on how I was creating my problems and what specific things I could do to improve my situation were key. After years of healing and getting strong, I found myself able to process past trauma in a healthy and effective manner, a little at a time. But I did this in a strong, supportive and competent setting with other men who had successfully done this work for themselves. Reparenting and deep love were part of the process for me.
@agniesiag 4 жыл бұрын
I go to therapy that is about somatic experiencing. We seldom talk. It is only about the body and processing. I absolutely love it and it helps me a lot. Best thing I ever did for myself.
@skyejacques 4 жыл бұрын
I'm looking into that therapy to complement acupuncture and Sufi healing and therapy xx
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
Excellent. I have tried it a little and hope to learn more.
@AustinPepp 4 жыл бұрын
Same it is amazing! My counsellor does Focusing which is very similar.
@joyfulone1816 4 жыл бұрын
Are there any links you could share that you believe would give me a great picture of how this therapy is carried out? I've neglected to look into it as just the word "body" triggers great fear. I have the idea it could help with "body armoring".
@wisconsinfarmer4742 4 жыл бұрын
Me too. Brain spotting, EMDR, EFT, and intention meditations before sleep. Been a long haul. I feel effn great now. Life is now a gas.
@oa194 4 жыл бұрын
EMDR gave me the relief that years of talk therapy couldn’t give me, and I had no problem talking, it just didn’t fix anything felt like going in circles. EMDR is so,so effective wished I did it years ago!!
@gra6799 2 жыл бұрын
EMDR rocks !! Been having it for 2 months Not necessarily an easy path not for the faint hearted...
@oa194 2 жыл бұрын
@@gra6799 True, it’s hard. I almost fainted and felt nauseous 2 times, right after the sessions I’d have headaches, feeling lightheaded, drained and depressed. I always dreaded going but happy I pulled through. It did so much for me in a much shorter period of time, it’s like your head and heart are cleared, I felt enlightened and my anxiety was way down. I managed to speak about my fathers passing without crying which I couldn’t do for many years.
@urbansetter1 2 жыл бұрын
I love emdr. I just started it and it's really helping me too.
@sarahmicro 2 жыл бұрын
me too / EMDR is really soooo effective
@TheSpartanite 3 ай бұрын
Words cannot express the power of EMDR. It totally wipes away ALL your trauma back to front.
@spookycat2948 3 жыл бұрын
When you spend months and years in therapy taking about a person or circumstances that traumatized you, oftentimes you are still giving that person power over you even if they are long gone from your life. You certainly are giving the trauma your time, emotions and attention which is taking away from time, emotions and attention that can be spent on positivity!!
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
Yes, it can be really negative for those of us with CPTSD!
@nebula1924 2 жыл бұрын
I hope nobody has power over you. That wouldn't be good. Take care ☺
@kayjohns7936 2 жыл бұрын
Way to speak up, Anna, for all of those who have spent decades doing the work with counselors only to be more traumatized and then rejected socially because "we just weren't trying enough." It has been so heartbreaking. I am so tired and it has been so hard to hang on. Peace.
@lemongrove57 4 жыл бұрын
I feel like owning your own healing is the one treatment that really gets at the heart of the helpless paralysis of trauma. You get to learn, choose, try, make changes, ask for help, seek new information, let go of what doesn't work for you, and trust yourself to know what you need. Nothing feels better than that.
@faviolafikir2181 3 жыл бұрын
Love this! I’m learning 💙💙💙
@zinilebt6002 Жыл бұрын
This is so true
@NewWorldAstro 4 жыл бұрын
After only one session, i had a job interview so rescheduled. The therapist called to see how it went, which was very kind i felt. I told him i has waited nearly a week and no word despite being told I’d hear back the next day. His answer: “maybe it was something you did. Or a vibe you put off”. (!!) I politely corrected him, and stood by my work ethic (that he knew nothing about). I was well prepared and the only candidate kept back while everyone else left. I knew i could not go back to someone as insidious and unprofessional. Be aware of narcissist and psychopaths in this field. You have to Know Yourself enough to protect yourself but therapy opens you to people who may not have your best interests at heart.
@plj103 3 жыл бұрын
Boy, has this been an eye opener. I have felt like such “therapy failure”. I’ve always felt so pressured and miserable with therapists, but maybe it isn’t all me...
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
It's not for everyone, that's the message :) -Cara@TeamFairy
@robertdilano9733 4 жыл бұрын
CCF, if a therapist or "professional" ever says "who do you think you are?!" for trying to help others, they most likely have an ego problem of superiority and are not the types of people who are really helpful because their intentions of being a therapist are rooted in some degree of grandiosity, narcissism, elitism, or clinging on to titles and credentials rather than effective experience. A genuine therapist would say "interesting! let's have an open discussion and examine the benefits and risks of what you are hoping to achieve."
@spookywitch0x0 3 жыл бұрын
Exactly ☺️👐 I completely agree 👍
@Naomid0408 2 жыл бұрын
Yes!! I'm a therapist and I encourage people to have a team of helpers if they can access/afford it! Want to work with a coach, too? Please! Nutritionist? Yes! Energy worker? Yay! Acupuncture and herbalism? Go for it! Maybe it helps that I'm a CPTSD survivor, too, and I've had to fight like hell for myself to get where I am, and I know that talk therapy alone isn't *the* whole answer, ESPECIALLY with trauma. Any "professional" who claims that they are the only one who can help you, or doesn't want other people involved in the process is a HUGE red flag, IMO.
@hilaryd6341 4 жыл бұрын
I went to a therapist and she made me feel horrible about my life and I just ruminated about every session. It made me suicidal. She said my intrusive thoughts will manifest if I don't stop having the thoughts which is horrible to tell someone with ocd.. made me relapse. Now I'm better that I stopped seeing her. I'm happy not talking to a therapist, I'd rather watch videos like this 😸👍🏼
@ljsunshine1232 4 жыл бұрын
Coraline Jones I also talked to someone who made me feel horrible about myself. She even pushed me to hate my parents. The whole things makes me so sad looking back.
@hilaryd6341 4 жыл бұрын
Liza Jane I’m so sorry you dealt with that. Learning information yourself and sticking with your intuition seems more helpful than advice from a stranger that hardly knows you
@jasmineluxemburg6200 4 жыл бұрын
See my other inputs ! Self help survivors group is the way to go ! Informed, direct, honest, empathetic , and skills ? well you build them directly lastly from the other experts ! Believe me you are already that and not only in terms of the experience ! The possibilities you can co learn and pick up from texts, but be warned nine out of ten are ignorant bullshit ! You will comprehend that pretty quickly when you share and support one another in the role of listening, empathic feedback and caring support ! Decide collectively on the boundaries, when, where , how long for sessions, not interrupting or advising, inventing a beginning such as forming a circle whilst sat with joined hands and saying whatever you agree - such as, from I’m here for you and you for me, no interrupting and first agree, how much time each has the ‘floor’, all suggestions considered, but always turn up, silence is ok, feedback too, be the selected special few who commit and care ... you get the idea ? ......
@christopherluvsaidan67 3 жыл бұрын
It was never her job nor anyone's job to fix you in the first place. You have to grow some Nalgas and toughen up.
@christopherluvsaidan67 3 жыл бұрын
@@ljsunshine1232 you people choose to let someone's words dictate how you feel. You could have just took it like a grain of salt or just let it go.
@lyranwitch 2 жыл бұрын
After 10 years of therapy that didn't work, I found that i can only take people with similar experiences seriously when they tell me how to work through trauma. Thank you for this channel
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for joining us on this channel, it's a special community :) -Cara@TeamFairy
@zinilebt6002 Жыл бұрын
So true!
@sandybowman7140 7 ай бұрын
Very succinctly put. Ur assessment is so wise. Thank u!
@alasseearfalas 3 жыл бұрын
Loved this. I'd always latch on to a therapist at the beginning, but after a few sessions they'd say something that made it obvious they didn't understand where I was coming from and what I was struggling with, and from that moment on I could never trust them. The only therapist that didn't happen with was the therapist who said during our first visit, "I don't have the training to help you with what you need-but I will be here to help and support you in whatever way that I can." Thank you for this video, and thank you for bringing awareness to this. Therapy is not always helpful.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
I love that, what the good therapist said. Easier to trust someone who doesn't know and says they don't know -- than someone who just thinks they know...
@Tahra.xoxoxo 4 жыл бұрын
There is inbuilt inequality in the therapeutic dynamic that makes it toxic for trauma survivors. Lack of agency is retraumatising.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
Interesting. I know what you mean.
@elleh3495 4 жыл бұрын
Tahra L Anitya this is brilliant. This was always a problem--they are listening because they get paid to listen; they dispense advice about things they have never experienced; they have not understood the depths of my trauma no matter how many classes or books they have read or sat in. One gives inexperienced advice to a stranger who pays them. And the feeling that sessions are structured by the practitioner not by the needs of the client is not ok. So you think my 1 hour session brought some "closure" to a trauma that has severly crippled me for 41 years? Really? 😬
@Tahra.xoxoxo 4 жыл бұрын
Also there is usually a class difference which makes it oppressive. Or other ways the therapist is more privileged than the client. Race, gender, sexuality, disability etc. They often have techniques which are, possibly genuinely, intended to centre the client and their experience, but I don't think it usually works as the therapist is unconscious of how their privilege affects them. Plus their own desires and preferences just leak in all over the place. None of that builds power in the client. Also people are often desperate for help and interpret an infantilising experience as useful. We so need to take down the sacred cow of therapy. And call out the role of the therapist so people going in view the therapist very differently.
@Tahra.xoxoxo 4 жыл бұрын
Also @michh I massively agree about the issue of the therapist structuring the session.
@petalparker5 4 жыл бұрын
Yes I agree. There is the power/information differential that I find triggering. Like being in a relationship with a covert narc. The therapist has all the control because after all you're "sick/broken" they're "healthy"! Your supposed to immediately trust them with all your private info and thoughts even tho you know next to nothing about them or even how the therapeautic process is supposed to work or what to expect.
@lynnbigner570 4 жыл бұрын
I left in the middle of an EMDR session because I could not handle talking about my stuff, and to a total stranger at that. My therapist did not do EMDR so she called in some guy from across the hall. I was so humiliated. I was so disregulated I attempted to drive the car without removing the sun shield across the windshield. A passer by yelled at me to take it out after calling me a few choice names. I had my head stuck out the side window trying to see. Oh God. I am grateful I quit therapy, and am healing.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
I love this story, @Lynn! Driving with screens in the windshield is a perfect metaphor for what it's like, and of course, it is literal too. I had one EMDR practitioner who just tried to get all talky and empathetic, out of love, but it wrecked me too. I needed the stoic, less talky approach.
@sybilsanchezkessler4155 4 жыл бұрын
Are you saying that while you were in session, your therapist called in someone else without your permission or any advance planning? That sounds like a breach of professional ethics and HIPAA that could be reportable, to me.
@mf.p.c.6766 4 жыл бұрын
EMDR actually re traumatized/triggered me, things got worse ,it did not work for me & i did it for a year..
@kathygehlhausen 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for validating how I do therapy. With my CPTSD clients, I focus on their present problems and symptoms, delving into the deeper pain only when the link to past and present is clearly fueling distress. It grieves me how little of my clinical training included disregulation, dissociation, and CPTSD. The understanding is rapidly emerging. I'm also EMDR trained and love how it sidesteps the story. As a therapist who's undergone therapy for years, I've also benefited from healing outside talk therapy modalities. I entirely endorse folks finding the path to healing that works for them. Thank you
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
@shadowbunny7892 2 жыл бұрын
This is how I kind of assumed most therapy would work and it's been frustrating to find out it's not. Had an intake session just last week where she was getting very frustrated I couldn't lay out my whole backstory and trauma in an hour. Does that stuff actually matter so much when the thing I need help with is coping with problems now?
@kathygehlhausen 2 жыл бұрын
@@shadowbunny7892 The short answer is, yes, it does. I am sorry to hear your intake session felt like pressure to lay out your entire backstory. However, that backstory is 100% impacting the problems you're currently struggling to cope with. Therapists start with the backstory, so we can understand your individual context. No two people's experiences are identical, so without understanding something of what you've experienced so far, it's hard to do much about the present day struggles. So it's a both/and situation. Also - if you felt the therapist was frustrated with you during intake, I'd call her out on it at your next session, and depending on how she responds, go find a different therapist
@shadowbunny7892 2 жыл бұрын
@@kathygehlhausen I don't mean to sound flippant, of course things that have happened to people affect them. But it seems to me like that information would be more useful with the context of the problems currently happening rather than as the opening conversation. Or, in the case of past therapists I've had, talking about the past the whole time and basically never getting around to solving any problems.
@kathygehlhausen 2 жыл бұрын
@@shadowbunny7892 I understand the focus on the past feels really out of alignment with what you needed. And it's pretty impossible to be useful with solving your present problems without some baseline understanding of what's gone before. I know I listen to the present problem in my first session, but then I do spend the next 2-3 sessions delving more into understanding my client's history. It's usually about session 5 that we can start solving problems. I'd say about 70% of therapy overall is spent looking at the past in most cases. It can take time to unpack how pain from the past is causing problems in the present, and that's what the work of therapy is about. I hope hearing what it looks like from a therapist's POV is useful for you, I understand your frustration.
@tbunnyshy1 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you! I was in therapy for many years. I had severe PTSD symptoms due to what my son went through as a child. My therapist decided to take EMDR classes. After her training was completed, I was her first EMDR patient. It was so hard the first time. The tears in my eyes, the pain. There are basics we talk about. (Think of a memory, what do you believe, how true/accurate is that, what is a more healthy/accurate belief, etc). All of that, precisely timed with eye movement made my symptoms of 12 YEARS disappear. EMDR is LIFE CHANGING. 95% healed. I hope more people find this helpful.
@toots810usa6 4 жыл бұрын
I made much more progress with hypnotherapy, where the therapist took me through scenarios like placing me on a high stool above my abusers, and allowed me to tell them what I wanted to tell them. He also explained what was happening like a narrator in a movie, and explained these were predators and it was not my fault....that was a real breakthrough for me, but it was the only safe space we could get that done in.....my subconscious mind.
@phoenixbg2096 4 жыл бұрын
Wow!
@jasmineluxemburg6200 4 жыл бұрын
Yes, way to go !
@andyokus5735 3 жыл бұрын
I agree! You are going to heal yourself no one else. A good hypnotist is worth their weight in gold.
@bunnykatsoracle3275 3 жыл бұрын
I love that! Your hypnotherapist sounds brilliant!
@elonever.2.071 3 жыл бұрын
Yes a skilled hypnotherapist can cause amazing breakthroughs in a short time. Mine allowed me to caress my infant self and push away all my care givers and tell myself that *I* am going to care for him from now on. I felt my heart go from a hard knot to relax into a normal beat while I was coming out of that session. It opened me up to doing Energy therapy which is absolutely amazing too.
@kitchencounterculture8466 4 жыл бұрын
"sovereignty over our own healing." what a great phrase. Thank you so much for your work and yet another insightful, helpful video.
@harleenfquinzel4394 3 жыл бұрын
OMG! I've in therapy for two years and I mentioned to her recently that I felt like I was talking in circles and not making much progress. I always feel so agitated and disconnected afterwards that my mother has called me out on it and I've snapped my toddler for dumb things that normally don't faze me. Much like yours, she tells me it's me dealing with the stuff and that's normal. I'm usually out of sorts for a day or two. I thought it was just me but you get it.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
Glad it resonated :)
@BenAvodot 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for explaining to the world why I also ended talk therapy. I never got anywhere and spent way too much time going over the trauma, feeling worse, never cathartic as if I were about to break through. I really like what you talk about and am considering your course. I just stumbled upon your channel and it’s right on time.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
That's great, please do subscribe and check out course offerings. crappychildhoodfairy.com/ Welcome to the community!
@PutTheShovelDown 4 жыл бұрын
Love what your doing❤️. I’m a therapist and I’d say you’re plenty qualified to help others. Thanks for sharing your recovery. In the addiction world it’s totally acceptable for people in recovery to help others.
@coming2getu64 4 жыл бұрын
Finding a good therapist can be traumatic and can end badly There should be a test period with a new therapist and I'm sure it's the insurance industry that makes it so difficult.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
Insurance can be a blessing, but I sometimes thinks it encourages the notion that others hold the controls on our healing.
@coming2getu64 4 жыл бұрын
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy some do to a degree, especially if they are abusers.
@lynndurbin9476 4 жыл бұрын
If you are limited to sessions by your insurance company you are limited to how many times you want to start over which alone is draining.
@michaeljensen4650 4 жыл бұрын
I had a therapist tell me to "Spit it out" when I was struggling to find the words to describe something difficult and saddening from my past. Then when I told her about this painful and difficult experience and how it was effecting me she changed the topic, twice. She would also ask me open ended questions right before our time was up and then act like I was keeping her and being a burden by acting so needy and taking up her time. I promptly left her in disgust and frustration. I have not been to a therapist since. I have even had therapists who suffer with Personality Disorders (Pathological Narcissism). Sadly it is very difficult to find good therapists. We seem to be great at understanding psychological pathology but terrible at treating it. I felt re-traumatized by the interaction. Most people are not very compassionate and are only motivated by money and status. They do not have the training to understand personality disorders and the effect it has on adult children of disordered people.
@sybilsanchezkessler4155 4 жыл бұрын
Therapists should have to be in personal therapy for themselves as a practice or at least as part of their training, but they don't have to be, necessarily. They have to do supervision as part of their training and that's not the same as personal therapy. There are good ones and bad ones, they don't all make a lot of money but insurance still is a very influential dynamic. (Full disclosure: I'm married to one, I know...) And, they hold a lot of stress, from others and their own stuff. Most go into it because they have their own stories that lead them to it. But a bad one, ugh so damaging, and so many of us have stories like this.
@bunnykatsoracle3275 3 жыл бұрын
The comment section on your videos is even better than group therapy. This is definitely a revolution! Conventional therapy didn't work for me either. Connecting with others online who have survived similar ordeals and seeing what's worked for them has helped immensely though. I'm.so grateful to have stumbled on your channel! 💖💗💓
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
I love the community here as well!
@sistastarbird 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah between the therapy and the meds I wasn't healing at all. I was stuck in that cycle for 26 years. Now med free for a decade. And life is totally worth living. Thank you for all your help. I appreciate it so much.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 2 жыл бұрын
So glad you're better 💜 -Cara@TeamFairy
@ellekay852 2 жыл бұрын
Love this! Me too. I can’t believe how stuck I was in that prescription drug and talk therapy haze.
@pavla2055 4 жыл бұрын
A few years ago the first time I told a therapist of my memory of my mother's first raging verbal abuse at me at 5yrs old she told me that I must have done something to trigger that behaviour from her . I felt she was telling me that it was my fault and had brought her irrational rage onto myself . As I've always been the family scapegoat this was very shame inducing statement by her . I guess I was looking for some sympathy or understanding - maybe in the next life .
@tnt01 4 жыл бұрын
Bad therapist. You did nothing wrong. Stay away from toxic people who do not validate you. Your feelings matter, period. Hugs.
@jasmineluxemburg6200 4 жыл бұрын
Either she was a crap therapist or she was intentionally provoking you as a way of forcing you to feel rage and fight the internalised ‘ bad parent you are hauling about ! A risky ploy that apparently did not work out ! She could have said , ‘I have an idea, let’s try this out, stood on a chair, made you kneel on the floor, and told you to say now what you wish you had then ! ‘Saying louder, I cannot hear you’ ! The point being that you are comfortable feeling hurt and asking for sympathy, but where is your righteous rage ! You are robbing yourself of your energy, stuck where she put you! Only YOU can move from victim to survivor ! I would suggest you go back and ask for a reply of the scenario! This time you on the chair she sat on the floor, and you told to voice your mothers scapegoating words ! Why ? That’s for you to discover! Or you could get into bed, suck your thumb and complain to your inner guardian angel, write down fulsomely and see what emerges ! Exaggerate, whine and complain! I could explain why, but it would spoil the impact of discovery. So one way or another, just do it !
@20sandi12 3 жыл бұрын
I totally get this, Barbara. Lately I am looking forward to the next life.
@dalebeaupre7438 4 жыл бұрын
I belong to Alcoholics Anonymous where one alcoholic helps another alcoholic in away that a therapist who has never experienced alcoholism can not. Please keep up the good work you are doing. One day you maybe helping people by the hundreds of thousands, all over the world. The world needs more people like you who are willing to share what has worked for them.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this kind comment. As you may know from other videos of mine, I love AA enough there have been times I wished I qualified! Your encouragement means a great deal to me.
@dalebeaupre7438 4 жыл бұрын
You are welcome at open meetings
@anitat9727 4 жыл бұрын
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy There are other 12 step programs. I go to ACA (one for people with crappy childhood).
@rebeccajones9757 4 жыл бұрын
A therapist asked me to join ACOA, but as an atheist, there was a lot that I couldn't relate to. The religious aspects don't help me.
@angiesizzlepants 2 жыл бұрын
I'm a therapist specializing in addiction. I love your channel! I appreciate your approach through the use of the 4th & 5th step. I've also found insight regarding my own difficulties of working in the field related to CPTSD. I recommended your channel to a friend who also has a traumatic past. You're doing amazing work with this channel and I'll continue to follow with great interest!
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks very much for this encouraging comment, Angelina. It means a lot coming from someone with your expertise!
@wyosha93 2 жыл бұрын
I've learned more from CCF in two months than I learned from two therapists over the course of 6 years. Even the counselors on Anna's website have asked insightful questions that no one has ever asked me before but in a very validating, calming way. Thank you for staying dedicated to the cause. You are helping so many of us take control of our own healing. I don't want to waste another 6 years.
@Candjce 4 жыл бұрын
I am someone who has found therapy incredibly helpful, I’ve been going twice a week for about a year and a half.... but hearing this experience gives me new perspective on how other people may feel about it. Im the person who ALWAYS recommends therapy to ALL of my friends because it has helped me so much... but Im going to think more carefully about that now I think. Maybe it’s just important for people to get help- not how they get it, but just that they do...
@victormh4867 4 жыл бұрын
I've been to several therapists and I allways felt drained after talking about what troubled me and would feel like something was profoundly wrong with me. It only made things worse and slowed me down. Thank you for sharing your experience.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@RatedArggg 3 жыл бұрын
I was lucky to find a good therapist on my first try. When I talked about my abuser, she said "You're talking about a horror story, except that it happened to YOU."
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
Yay, therapist!
@laurzee 3 жыл бұрын
You had me at "the dignity, the sovereignty of our own healing." Yes and amen!
@clandestinereactionary1842 4 жыл бұрын
Going to therapy is like constantly picking at scabs and paying someone to watch. Real healing comes from making real friends, resisting the urge to blame others for every bad thing that's happened to us, and becoming useful to other people.
@sonofhibbs4425 4 жыл бұрын
YES, finally someone else understands! I hope you and I aren’t the only ones out there to realize this because it’s the key to healing!
@missj7262 4 жыл бұрын
Absofuckinglutely couldn't have said it better! 🙏👏💓
@JD-de5mq 4 жыл бұрын
That's such a good analogy!
@nickieglazer7065 4 жыл бұрын
Clandestine Reactionary Totally with you on that! My partner is starting to understand too now 🥰😘 So reassuring to know that there ARE people who are more self- aware out there. Thank you 🙏🏻 for sharing 💞
@art4life691 4 жыл бұрын
Well said!
@MJ-my9sg 4 жыл бұрын
Agreed! No therapist has helped, neither has church and family is horrendous! To date at 65 I have NO ONE! I hide my feelings n am a master introvert.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
Sending hugs
@xenatron9056 4 жыл бұрын
Hello Trina, same for me. No one had any solutions for me, but then I decided to do what I needed to do. Focussing on an ANYTHING other than the problem helped as an indirect way to begin to get free.
@joyfulone1816 4 жыл бұрын
I've taken to practicing considering myself first. Something i'd never realized that everybody else learned to do as babies or toddlers, when they got to pick something they liked. Did you always take the broken or ugly thing so nobody ELSE ended up with it too?? So now i'm allowing myself to keep the wonderful things i may get or already have, instead of always giving everything to someone who needs it or deserves it more. My feelings deserve to be owned and expressed and heard out if only by a journal! They've been being denied by everyone for decades. The BEST (not the least) i can do is give them WORDS. I'm probably a picture of you. Please take some time and give yourself the consideration you haven't been given, you've always given it to everyone else right? Most of *us know how to be extremely considerate! I bid you peace and healing of your spirit Warrior 💜
@normaalsina6214 4 жыл бұрын
Trina try listening to Sadhguru. ❤️ If it’s about Narcissism abuse try in KZfaq “Surviving Narcissism”. 👼🏻
@joyfulone1816 4 жыл бұрын
@@normaalsina6214 "Surviving Narcissism" has been a wonderful and healing resource for me as well! I love how the focus stays positive and on healing, rather than wasting time vilifying someone on whom you have no effect.
@bigfolkie5418 Жыл бұрын
I am 68 years old and have finally been diagnosed with CPTSD. I've had more than a few therapists. My current one is fantastic. I finally got the proper diagnosis and she so completely gets whats been tormenting me for decades . In the past year she has guided me onto a beautiful road to recovering and healing. But none of my previous counselors could find what my current therapist did. I had sort of a mental breakdown about 2 years ago
@FaithfulandTrue949 4 жыл бұрын
Hallelujah - preach! You are a revolutionary, you are exactly what a hurting, disregulated world needs right now. You are an expert worthy of a PhD - give me experiential knowledge over theoretical knowledge any day. Your gifts have made room for you, only be bold and very courageous. Thank you from the depths of my heart, you get it!
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
This is about the nicest, most encouraging comment I've ever received. Thanks. I'll be bold and courageous for another day!
@SelfLoveU 4 жыл бұрын
I had good results with therapy. Can't imagine healing without it. The mirroring alone helps to mature the emotions. Therapy is not perfect, but it is helpful if you find the right therapist.
@rebeccajones9757 4 жыл бұрын
It is helpful for some, but not for all. It is certainly worth a shot, but people should only continue going if it really helps.
@BuddhaFang 4 жыл бұрын
I got lucky when I met my awesome therapist approx 25 years ago, still working with her. She notices when I wander back into old and unhealthy ways of thinking, and she walks and talks me thru it. It should be clarified that there’s many types of therapy, so if you want therapy, keep looking for the right one.
@ellanola6284 4 жыл бұрын
@@BuddhaFang Glad that it is helping you, but personally, I would worry that it is taking so long. One of you MAY be narcissist.
@Dippmip 4 жыл бұрын
"Therapy is not perfect, but it is helpful if you find the right therapist." Please stop saying that. It's simply not for everyone, even if the therapist is a good one.
@Dippmip 4 жыл бұрын
@@BuddhaFang excuse me, but how is this therapy ur doing so awesome, if after 25 years ur still not fixed?
@anitat9727 4 жыл бұрын
Therapy is going nowhere with me. Talking about it does nothing. Honestly, I find a lot of therapists are a bit out of touch with reality as well. Like I cannot take an undefined amount of time (aka drop out) of college to "process trauma" or isolate myself in a "safe space" forever. Nor do I have years to spend without any sort of improvement as my symptoms are already hurting myself and others and are getting worse. Or thousands of dollars to waste. Also I cannot put my life on hold to slowly "heal" an hour a week by a professional.
@happyd1479 4 жыл бұрын
This my last therapist said im more concerned with school and raising my child than therapy...smh
@ljsunshine1232 4 жыл бұрын
Happy :D wow
@Melissa.Simmons 2 жыл бұрын
Same. My therapist is like this. Nothing resolved. Don’t even talk on the issue and I still leave with the same problem I have. So the feelings still being there still make you feel bad or even worse. My therapist kept worrying about things that weren’t part of the problem. I knew what my problem was and where it was coming from, but I wanted to relieve the sense of depression and anxiety.
@lydieuhh 3 жыл бұрын
Omg I can’t stop crying because this is speaking to me so much. I gave up on talk therapy because I sensed frustration with my therapist because I don’t think she understood CPTSD. It all makes sense now because I experienced the same psychological and physical effects after each therapy session where we discussed my past childhood trauma. I was bullied every day for my physical appearance and unfortunately my parents never knew because I was too ashamed to talk to them about it. This then lead to emotional neglect because they didn’t realize I was crying quietly in my room after school every day. It pains me to talk about it still, and I know that means I need healing. This information that you’re sharing has made me feel so validated and reminds me that there is hope. Thank you so much for sharing!
@patriciavasara1051 3 жыл бұрын
I've gone through four therapists throughout my life. The first two were excellent and really helped me. The third was a man (a pervert) who was always trying to manipulate me into letting him fondle/grope me (he called it: "healing bodywork"). The fourth was a woman who after 4 months told me she "couldn't not continue working with me because "we had different moral values" then dumped me. All that money gone down the drain. I will never get into therapy again.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
I'm horrified about your creepy experience -- so sorry that happened to you @Patricia_Vasara! I hope you are persevering in REAL healing.
@hannahpotato3722 4 жыл бұрын
I too stopped going to therapy . Talking about all my traumas was just too much to deal with . My anxiety and paranoia was through the roof after my sessions for days . I really felt like I wasn’t improving at all .
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
Well then you've come to the right place. Thanks for sharing this part of your story!
@lilalienangel 4 жыл бұрын
I think the problem inlies in the fact they open a can of worms yet there is no time to work through it. The worms have no place to go.. 1 hour just doesn't cut it..
@supermelodia 4 жыл бұрын
Sometimes the healing happens when justice is served example: a rapist goes to jail that will bring relief to the victim. Another way to forget is not think about it, why? because the more you think, it will interfere in your normal life. Just keep exercising this.
@ColorMeConfused29 4 жыл бұрын
For me it was opening an old wound, pouring salt into it, letting it scab over and ripping the wound open again the next session. Ugh.
@puggirl415 4 жыл бұрын
I've been trying to get therapy since the age of 18. I've had patronising therapists, hostile therapists, do nothing therapists among other failures. Finally, I simply couldn't afford it anymore. I started to go to a 12 step program of group support for Adult children of Alcoholics and dysfunctional Families. (ACA) In these rooms I was able to see myself, to hear other peoples wisdom, to not be interrupted when I speak. Tremendous support. Now after 3 years in I feel ready to work on my C-ptsd using somatic experiencing and EMDR. These seem like great therapeutic modalities. Each person has to feel like what they are doing is working for them. I will continue to use 12 step for daily support, my own reading and video learning and now my somatic/emdr therapist to make progress in my healing. I'm glad to have all these different things available to me. Thanks you crappy childhood fairy, you are part of my solution.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
This is a really happy story @puggirl415 -- your plan sounds like a lovely mix. I've heard great things, especially lately, about ACA.
@joyfulone1816 4 жыл бұрын
You ROCK Warrior 💜
@wisconsinfarmer4742 4 жыл бұрын
Oh! This just in. Look up Brad Yates on KZfaq. He's the best, so kind.
@mindfulmatty 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing. I am both a trauma survivor and a trauma-informed therapist. I also spent about 20 years in talk therapy and medication and it didn't really help. So I have dedicated myself to learning more about mind-body healing modalities and have been meditating for 25 years and many of my clients came to be more traumatized by well-meaning therapists. I often listen to your videos and find them very helpful. By the way, what helped me was not EMDR but hypnosis. One size does not feel all. I think everyone needs to decide what works for them best. I am grateful that science is catching up with what I have been trying to share for a long time about my concerns with talk therapy and trauma, especially CPTSD. Thanks for all that you do.
@lindseybeaver7905 2 жыл бұрын
EMDR therapist here, Im so happy to hear that EMDR therapy helped to give you some peace and relief from chronic dysregulation. I just discovered your channel today and I wanted you to know I am both inspired and grateful for your movement and I will be sending clients your videos as resources into the future! You are certainly ahead of the curve when it comes up to bottom up approaches to healing attachment trauma and it’s clear you’re passionate about your mission from the depths of your heart. Best wishes.
@AntonyReed 4 жыл бұрын
I just don't trust traditional therapy. There seems to be too much unintentional, therapist-induced gaslighting. I decided to become my own therapist and looked at ways I could seek change. Now I'm a hypnotist and NLP guy. lol... Thanks for what you're doing. :)
@7thGenTexan 4 жыл бұрын
6 thumbs down. Probably from 6 therapists who can't admit that Freud and Jung didn't know everything.
@joyfulone1816 4 жыл бұрын
You're so right 😆
@elonever.2.071 3 жыл бұрын
A lot of the problem is that therapists learn what is in vogue at the time and ten even twenty years later their mindset is still stuck there. Life moves at the speed of the internet and so do effective therapies.
@ingegerdtheresesorrell338 3 жыл бұрын
Freud and Jung was strange especially Freud I think🤭☺️
@paulaschneider2759 3 жыл бұрын
@@elonever.2.071 I want to marry this comment
@teachersusanute199 3 жыл бұрын
Omg - Freud, he was sick
@judepoynter3850 2 жыл бұрын
You don’t just help people Anna, you save people. Please keep doing what you’re doing, it’s so very much appreciated by your devoted followers. 💐
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the kind words and for supporting the channel. Grateful you're here. - Ashley, Team Fairy
@cqt9223 3 жыл бұрын
"Who do you think you are...?" Thank you for your clear, assertive voice on this. Therapists need to remember that KZfaq is social media--of the people, for the people. They don't own trauma healing, especially when the field is still so wed to CBT talk therapy, and still lags behind on what hurts and what helps around trauma. For me, somatic therapies were more helpful due to the dysregulation you mentioned--stuff to help get in touch with the body, like Rosen Work and craniosacral. I appreciate your sharing your personal experience and insights--especially valuable in this era of Me Too and systemic gaslighting.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you. Yes.
@tinahouston2575 4 жыл бұрын
I have had some really bad experiences with therapists until I found this one I'm seeing now. I was not in a good place and needed someone who understood CPTSD. I'm lucky, I had help to find her. Still, I find that it only works for me because I do stuff like this stuff between therapy appointments and then wrap it up with my therapist who can help with giving me a different perspective on something I can't seem to work through on my own. One therapist was so bad that she would put on lotion and stuff during our session and told me that I'm the one being ridiculous with my PTSD symptoms of being dysregulated and my reactions to triggers which is why I was in therapy in the first place. Therapists are just people and most are well-meaning but they are people and some just aren't very good. Keeping in mind that a therapist doesn't heal you, they just hold space while you heal yourself. I love this channel. My grandson is going to need this when he gets old enough. I hope The Crappy Childhood Fairy is still around in 8 to 10 years when he is old enough to seek help himself. This is a great compliment to any support system geared toward healing CPTSD.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this story, and for your kindness. The lotion! What a telling detail. I'm so glad you're here.
@goodintentions1302 4 жыл бұрын
I've been to several really crappy therapists. Yet the two really good ones I've seen have helped me a great deal. Both were of an age where they retired, ending the relationship. I have good friends who are therapists I respect and admire. I've also met therapists socially who I have refused to become friendly to because of their attitude about people and/or the environment. One, during a ride share, threw all of her fast food containers out the window as we moved down the highway. The driver, a mutual friend, complained and she said "It gives somebody a job! We don't want the mess here in the car." I told him to never again bother including me if she was involved. She later asked why I won't join them for lunch. She doesn't understand why she has problems making personal friends... Thinks we are all jealous of her! I'm 11 years older, more attractive because I take better care of myself, not obese like her, yet I don't wear new designer clothes or drive a new car. I'm glad I'm me!
@elianaboer7078 4 жыл бұрын
I’ve never heard someone else speak about something like writing a check and how shakiness and stuff affects a person “like us”. I’ve barely been able to sign my initials in front of ppl for over a decade. I thought I had ptsd and Parkinson’s at one point. Thank you for telling me I’m not crazy. I think it’s important to point out bc kids going through trauma cannot develop proper motor skills, which happened to me, and my kids. We can’t wait for the doctors to find a cure. We have to learn and heal on our own, and within our communities. God bless you so much.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
God bless you too!
@naomic77 3 жыл бұрын
I used to tell people that I felt like I’d been run over by a truck after therapy. People never understood why, it’s good to hear there could be a reason!!
@justagirljean1111 2 жыл бұрын
In my experience with years of therapy, I can honestly say only someone who has actually experienced what you’ve been through and healed can really help you. Think of it like this, would you rather go to a therapist for advice on raising a child that is licensed in every field but wasn’t a parent? How serious would you take their advice?! There is a WORLD of difference between theory and experience. You can’t read about something and get the same affect. Anna is amazing and I’m glad to be starting on her program to real healing. 🙏🏼❤️
@js2010ish Жыл бұрын
The parenting analogy is a great one!
@AnHeC Жыл бұрын
Bad analogy. Do you need a doctor that puts your broken leg together to have broken a leg? Nope.
@grumpyschnauzer Жыл бұрын
I once told a mom that if she felt comfortable seeing someone who was familiar in working with moms and rearing children I completely understand. She cried back, “Well I would hope you wouldn’t think that just because you don’t have experience working with moms with kids that you couldn’t work with them! If someone’s a teacher they don’t necessarily have to have kids of their own to teach well to kids.” So therapists get it from all sides and it’s usually quite binary.
@RunAMuckGirl2 4 жыл бұрын
Bless you Fairy! "Who do you think you are?" Damn that one bites, don't it? Your response was incredible. 💞🥰💞
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
It slipped out...
@aryadler8776 4 жыл бұрын
In my case I quit therapy because every therapist just explained me to myself and that was all there was, I was supposed to get better just by understanding and re-experiencing situations. I didn't. It helped me as a kid, shed some light, but now it's useless - it's just taking therapists by the hand(!) to talk them through my history and understanding, over and over again. completly nonsensical and fruitless
@lynndurbin9476 4 жыл бұрын
Yes it is like having to chart for insurance company payment.
@robyncroft2926 4 жыл бұрын
Very true, we the victims of our lives are in fact training them the practitioners - they perhaps should be paying us for their training. If this was the way of practice, when finally trained they should be able to offer their knowledge to others for free. Unfortunately, that is not how capitalism works. Nor is it the way of education.
@kelseyp1030 4 жыл бұрын
Yes, because to offer a service to help those like you, they have to get a master’s degree and years up supervision to do so. Just because you had bad experiences does not mean that all counselors are unqualified or otherwise not credible. There are a variety of reasons why counseling legitimately helps many people and not others; don’t assume that it’s the counselor’s fault.
@aryadler8776 4 жыл бұрын
@@kelseyp1030 oh but I know, it's just my perspective. I'm not saying therapy doesn't work for other ppl, it worked for me for some time too! I get it
@kelseyp1030 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your civil response! I agree with you. I was responding to Robyn.
@buckyes6749 3 жыл бұрын
I have been seeing a therapist now for the last 4 years. She is a blessing. I have also had 2 ketamine infusions in the last 6 months. Expensive, but seemed very helpful as well for my CPTSD. It has been a part of my life since I can remember anything, I am 53. My healing comes from multiple sources, and now I think I have found another one with your content/channel. Thank goodness
@SusieQ1971 Жыл бұрын
As a LMFT I am learning so much from you and I send your videos to my clients and friends suffering from CPTSD. I would've never known you weren't a licensed therapist. We can all learn from each other. The last thing I want to do is retraumatize my clients by making them repeat traumatic stories or memories. I never force anyone to talk about things they don't want to and that are going to incapacitate them for the entire week in between sessions. Thank you for sharing what has worked for you.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Thank you for watching! -Calista@TeamFairy
@nathankoehler2143 4 жыл бұрын
Before I was aware, years ago, I used to tell my partner "I cant talk about it and what's wrong with me because if I do I'll become it" never realized why.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
yes.
@swampy2008 4 жыл бұрын
If you dont mind can you explain this again?
@lucylocket546 4 жыл бұрын
Honestly I think the advice I wish I could go back and give myself is to switch off the noise and pressure around me and spend time growing myself up. Get into a safe secure living environment. Create routines and stick with them. Earn money. Save money. Eat regularly and healthy a set basic menu a week that I just follow. Exercise. Write. Keep life simple until I’ve grasped each basic step. Create my own traditions. Take on life then more and more from that firmer base. Ignore what everyone around me says I should and shouldn’t do and be. Trust myself and my own instincts - it got me that far why didn’t I keep listening to my strong instinctive survivor self? Asking for help was the start of a whole new devastating nightmare..... The help destroyed me. Helpers often have unfulfilled needs they project onto you and it all becomes a bit of an unhealthy messy game. Can’t go back now. Wish I could. The trauma repair industry is just another form of toxicity, control, submission, infantilising. Yes pockets and elements are useful perhaps but over all even if you think it’s the best thing ever - ask yourself is it? Or is it actually holding you back and fulfilling a need to be cared for and given attention like a child? I suspect if people are honest they will find that that is the main purpose it serves.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
This is a brilliant observation. I hope you'll keep commenting, and/or visit the website and stay connected. I'm interested in your contribution to the conversation!
@fonzi7451 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your good ideas 🏵
@willj7628 Жыл бұрын
I got sick of reliving the past & being issued new labels & having to tell my story to people who had no experience with what I’ve been through. I just got passed from here to there until I phoned everyone & told them to leave me alone I don’t want to relive my past every week to a new person. Since then I’ve felt a lot better. I’ve studied mental health for 22yrs but I didn’t think anything was wrong with me. Little did I now how things had effected me. Great video 👏🙏🏻
@pe9147 3 ай бұрын
It’s Thursday night after my therapy session. I search up “quitting therapy” on KZfaq and this video came up. Expecting nothing I continued watching. Now you have a girl fully sobbing in the car ride home. I was feeling SO FRUSTRATED, IRRITATED, ANNOYED that I couldn’t convey my issues in a way my therapist could understand. My critical thoughts started to surface. I started thinking I was the problem. But no. This one video healed me. I resonate so deeply with your story. ❤ This has given me SO MUCH validation and healing, Anna. I’m so so so so so grateful I found your video. I would have been so emotionally dysfunctional for the next few days if I hadn’t seen this as that’s what usually happens. I cannot thank you enough. After my session, I randomly searched up “quitting therapy” and your video came up. It was everything I needed and more. I’ve seen 6 counsellors in the past year and they all look at me like a deer in headlights whenever I talk about nervous system dysregulation or when I say talk therapy is not helpful and that I would like more bottom up therapy like somatic experiencing or EMDR instead. I know I have complex ptsd, toxic shame, ADHD and talking about aimlessly is probably the worst thing I can do. I’m so thankful you’re creating this platform to help others. I wish you all the best with this channel and your journey. You just gained a new sub! Excuse me while I binge watch all your videos ❤️😅
@jaynej2884 4 жыл бұрын
I absolutely love it!!! Yes!! Degrees arent the only thing in life; my mom has a psyche degree ... and yet is root of a lot of my issues... and says she has no problems. You know exactly what you are talking about! You ve been more helpful than many therapists for me!
@cynthiaallen9225 4 жыл бұрын
I know what you mean: I did talk therapy and sometimes I felt it was damaging. Sometimes I didn't ask enough questions because I didn't know what to ask. It was very traumatizing but really clarifying on the other hand, once I bought into it. I later did cognitive therapy. I told this therapist that he'd have to do it for me because I already bought into psychotherapy which didn't work. He said ok. For me, a combination of both worked eventually. I needed to know the why as well as what to do from there. Cognitive therapy helped me become a much better thinker, too. I ended up getting 2 masters degrees. It is helpful understanding how you're raised but the action part is missing. It can leave you feeling as a terminal victim.
@ashmcdaniel5503 3 жыл бұрын
First, thank you for sharing about therapists. I've tried several times over the decades and it never felt right and I both wondered what was wrong with me and what was wrong with them. Second, to all the "professionals" out there who ask who you are to offer healing techniques: You are sharing, in 12 Step lingo, your experience, strength, and hope, and THIS is what makes your videos, and 12 Step programs SO effective. Thank you, thank you, thank YOU.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
Yes! You get it, thanks so much for being here :) -Cara@TeamFairy
@sarahhill6796 3 жыл бұрын
I got told that I don’t feel my feelings while crying in session. I feel disregarded.
@beth1776 4 жыл бұрын
Had an amazing experience with my therapist. The relationship was perfect healing for me on its own. I had never had a relationship like this. He accepted me unconditionally .. that was the healing .. I went on and off for two years. I don't think I would be where I am now without this.
@kegbot1 4 жыл бұрын
Sigh. Well gee now I know. I did EMDR where I DID have to tell what I remembered. Like any other time I talked about my trauma I landed up like you did at the end of the session. So I gave up on EMDR. I tried ketamine - bad experience. Yes, my mom sent me to my first shrink at 14 - he blew smoke rings from a pipe and all I remember is how hard I cried. And it did no good. Then 40 more years of therapy and 33 therapists (by my count) and nothing worked. Nothing. Drugs - about 30 or more different types of meds. Nothing. Ever. Works. I'm so hurt, I'm not even sure I can heal. I just want peace for my mind before I die. Thank you for what you do. I can relate so much.
@ataattosbt 3 жыл бұрын
I so hear you, Anna. I found by the third appt I was tired of hearing my “story”. Journaling just exacerbated the emotion.
@ginger9475 2 жыл бұрын
You are 100 percent right regarding the dysregulating affects of retelling the traumatic story. I don’t care what therapists say about this affect. So many therapists are like doctors, they think they have the right to demand that vulnerable people retell these stories, and when people don’t get better, take their drugs. Nothing worse than being labeled a “noncompliant” traumatized person who was just looking for help. Bless you. You are a breath of fresh air.
@Enitarmon 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you Anna you are the first to put into context how theraphy affected me too. It was just made worse by an abusive therapist and it took me years to understand how I shattered so badly. He left me no hope of having a family and a life and said I better get some intresting job because I was hard to love. But years down the line I can say I'm in a happy healhty home. With kind supportive people. Doing yoga and writing everyday. Bless you and all the ppl that make us feel like healing is in our hands.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 4 жыл бұрын
I love your story @Atrxxia. Very happy for you! Thanks for sharing this story.
@josiede8509 4 жыл бұрын
Wow. it feels good to find someone who understands. I have recently had this issue where I leave my therapy sessions feeling worse then when I arrived. You described it exactly, unable to find words. My mind just goes blank in the middle of me struggling to piece a statement together to answer their question, and now I'm asking them to repeat themselves again. I'd do the same thing, I'd just sit in my car and cry. I literally just broke down from hearing your story. No one will be better at helping people through childhood trauma than someone who has actually lived it. I'm really thankful for this channel.
@famouskate9071 Жыл бұрын
You create such an incredible service for humanity. It's from you that I learned I have CPSTD. This explains SO MUCH! You are right on! I had a terrible childhood with a narcissistic mother, and I told my mother about you but even though my mother is now 86 years old and has been in therapy since she was 18, she is no better, as she has done no inner work and is STILL cruel to her only daughter [me] and I am 64. I have gone no contact many times and always took her back when she begged for contact, because I felt sorry for her and I can see that she is a broken child inside. She also had a terrible childhood of neglect, emotional and physical abuse, so I make excuses for her behavior. But then, she hurts me again, so again we are in no contact. I hope I can maintain it for good this time. I told one of my best friends, a surgeon who also has a PhD in psychology, about you and she LOVES you, and while she doesn't work in psychology for a living, she, unlike most drs, uses psychology on a daily basis, multiple times a day, with her patients. How a person is feeling, what is going on in their life at that time, or even the past, well, that's as important as their weight and blood pressure, but how many drs ask, and use that information? THANK YOU for helping me and so many others!!!!!!!!!!
@Onestrangebrain 3 жыл бұрын
Wow. You have totally described my own experience with therapy over the last 10 years, 15 therapists... It is so good to know I am not alone in this!
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 жыл бұрын
Whew! I hope you find a path that works for you!
@vieblu53 4 жыл бұрын
Your experience with physical symptoms are identical to what I experienced about five years ago, the last time I tried therapy. I was in bed for two whole days, and wasn't myself for several more. Too much contact with my family has a similar effect.
@MainelyLove 4 жыл бұрын
I know someone who used to go visit a relative once a year, for the day, and when this person returned the next step was to go to bed for several days with several bouts of upchucking. I witnessed this several times while growing up. It was the price of cultural rules and obligations. How sad.
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