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Why is it Hard for Christians to Accept that Narcissists Will Not Change?

  Рет қаралды 5,415

Mark DeJesus

Mark DeJesus

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 75
@JayteeMoney7
@JayteeMoney7 Жыл бұрын
May the grace of God give us strength to love a narcissist from a distance. Christ did it with judas! Amen
@StarflyerT
@StarflyerT Жыл бұрын
I'm one year no contact with narc Mom and stepfather. The guilt and shame of not being enough and being treated like a child was debilitating for a bit. I'm learning to be myself and am finding my own personality with God's help. Healing takes time!
@aishanusoul
@aishanusoul Жыл бұрын
Forgive but remain in your boundary.
@donna-colorado8443
@donna-colorado8443 Жыл бұрын
It can not be fixed under our power. Only God, if it's His will. Yes, pray.
@nostalgic_blue
@nostalgic_blue 21 күн бұрын
I agree 100%. I had (hereditary) high narcissistic traits before I chose to obey God. And my sibling has become narcissistic/abusive (spiritually toxic) after she had rejected Jesus and the Holy Bible. I know in this case it is definitely spiritual warfare against her, and her being used against our family.
@donna-colorado8443
@donna-colorado8443 21 күн бұрын
@@nostalgic_blue I am very happy for you and I will pray for your sister.
@nostalgic_blue
@nostalgic_blue 21 күн бұрын
@@donna-colorado8443 Thank you so much.
@WHIRLwind1923
@WHIRLwind1923 Жыл бұрын
You believe for change for awhile....but control is to important to them, and they can't admit fault, except falsely to control further
@wonkyelsa
@wonkyelsa Жыл бұрын
This is exactly what im struggling with because of my mother. This whole video is very relatable but number 6 speaks to me so clearly. Its hard to accept because she is my mother and then the quilt comes creeping again... Im healing though and I recently have started to accept Gods love. I love God so much!! He lead me to your channel :) Thank you and God bless you Mark!
@cindyc12
@cindyc12 Жыл бұрын
I definitely can relate...both parents are narcs and they're okay with that. As he said, Christians are constantly trying to change people, it's not our burden or job.
@VMorales923
@VMorales923 5 ай бұрын
I have just recently came into realization that I am a Narcissist & I WANT FREEDOM! ⛓️ I know with my surrender and wanting to be free I CAN BE! Thank u Abba for being A DELIVERER AND HEALER!
@kaileybaca1689
@kaileybaca1689 Жыл бұрын
This explains SO much about how my view of God is SO messed up because of my narc father relationship. It’s always thinking that God is correcting me, always telling me something i need to fix something about myself. I see all these corrective prophetic words on KZfaq and they make me question myself and spin and i think “oh this is God talking to me” when really I’m spinning!
@pinkroses135
@pinkroses135 Жыл бұрын
If any personal prophesy is true it will confirm something you got from the Holy Spirit in prayer. Being still before God and being in the word on a more regular basis really helps you discern it.
@stvn0378
@stvn0378 Жыл бұрын
Because we love the people with a Godly love that hate God's love
@colleenwithhim
@colleenwithhim Жыл бұрын
This is so spot on! The guilt is debilitating and even after you get past that the grief that comes along is deep! It's having to relearn so much because of the brainwashing, it's having to discover yourself without the critical voice and judgement! Thank you Mark! today you have me in my feels LOL Realizing they won't change is so incredibly hard and it can either drive you to get healing and freedom yourself or it will drive you insane. I pray that through your teachings and shining a light on the subject many people will find freedom and release of the guilt! Being a survivor is great but learning to thrive after the narc abuse is taking your power back!
@adamflint2377
@adamflint2377 11 ай бұрын
I was subjected to my narcissistic father’s abusive anger. He and my mom would always tell me that I’m the reason for the anger. No matter what I did to change nothing worked. It was never admitted that dad had a problem with anger and on occasions raging anger. I find it difficult to reason that Christ, my Heavenly Father, would accept me because I’ve been trained for decades that I’m not good enough by my earthly father. I just feel that it takes stronger faith by someone who has suffered the trauma of fatherly abuse and non acceptance.
@alisonderrick1067
@alisonderrick1067 3 ай бұрын
🫂 I’m sorry for the pain. God knows. your Heavenly Father loves you with unfathomable unwavering love. You don’t have to do anything. Ask God to draw near to you. And for you to draw near to Him. You are not “the problem” ; Sin is the problem bc we live in a fallen world. Jesus nailed all of this to the cross. You are accepted in the beloved. The beloved is God. You’re the King’s Kid. ♥️ God loves unconditionally. Thank God for He is so good. His love endures forever.
@stylist62
@stylist62 9 ай бұрын
It’s all on point, nothing you do for theses sadistic creatures works, your pouring into a bottomless pit. 7 months separated, Still processing how evil he was, I gave everything, he gave nothing, and cost me. They will strip you of everything, then play victim. Only guilt I have felt is allowing him in my family home, robbed me . I was traumatized working hard to heal. I need your book🙏🥰thank you
@wendellst2266
@wendellst2266 Жыл бұрын
Yes Mark lots has been written about codependency but nothing has so described my relationship with my father as this did today. Sadly I first found the truth about this sin from the world. The church cemented me in it. First the toxic self messages I absorbed from him in my childhood, then the toxic messages I absorbed about God and me in the church. I’m sure your life has much warfare as you are constantly coming against Satan and his toxic religion, …but God is with you! I pray Mark while sharing and combating religion and ignorance your path always aligns with the truth regarding our place in Christ as described particularly in Romans 6,7 and 8. It’s important that you do use words that bypass all the religious noise we’re used to…but that you not be tempted off the path of proclaiming the finished work of Christ. Questions such as whether as a Christian i still have a sin nature, is our relationship cut off from God while I actively seek freedom from a particular sin, these new covenant truths need to be made clear. We are taught to resist sin, rather than understanding I am dead to sin. Your teaching dispels the toxic emotional climate so many of us sincere believers have endured and many still enduring. Teaching the church how to live out of the life of Christ within is (imo) the most important ministry of our time. He IS THE LIFE! Stay true to the gospel and remain fearless… you have come to the kingdom for just such a time as this! I’m many years your senior, could be your grandfather… have been in the ministry for decades… I know what I’m talking about! Blessings my brother …and God knows your heartache about your son, I have a granddaughter who suffers from the same issues. It’s all temporary, he is at the door.🙌
@Elle77777
@Elle77777 Жыл бұрын
Yes! Such powerful truths! I was stuck in all of those. I told myself that I was staying in the relationship for “redemptive purposes” but over the past few days God has brought me out of denial. I am in deep deep pain, but I know there’s healing in it. Thank you Mark (and Melissa!) for caring for us - His body whom He loves.
@ladyofthewoods2448
@ladyofthewoods2448 Жыл бұрын
God didn’t want me to be with a narc I married for 34 years also he showed me all the narcs in my family it was a long process still dealing with how to Handel some things like with my 20 year old grandson breaks my heart. My mother Christian narc ( I know oxy moron)
@tamars_hope
@tamars_hope Жыл бұрын
I'm really loving this series!
@darcyd2680
@darcyd2680 Жыл бұрын
Thank you! Actually it was a good way to explain it through "sin, heart hardness, etc", it made better sense for me.
@probablyprudence39
@probablyprudence39 5 ай бұрын
Thank you 😊 🙏 💓
@donna-colorado8443
@donna-colorado8443 Жыл бұрын
Yes, this was definitely a blessing to me.
@pinkroses135
@pinkroses135 Жыл бұрын
I can't blame people for being in denial if multiple family relationships are casualties to narcissism. It can be rough.
@ivorysol7828
@ivorysol7828 Жыл бұрын
I have had this on my watch later playlist for a while. I'm so glad I watched it tonight. It reminded me of a pattern I noticed in myself. I was going back to an abusive narcissistic relationship over and over again. I can understand now that my legalistic upbringing and the accompanying guilt and shame drove me to go back and try to do the next right thing to "fix it."
@msell2682
@msell2682 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for addressing this topic. Being a Christian it's hard to find brethren that can understand this and give Godly counsel on dealing with this. I come from a split home with both parents highly narcissistic. I never wanted to repeat this or make anyone feel like I felt growing up and I knew that I had to get help in order to change myself and not repeat the behaviors I learned growing up. I am now fully grown and work to stay forgiving to my parents. There was a point in time that I hated them and I never want to feel that again! However I have experienced guilt because our interactions often are undesirable for me. Neither parent has changed an I struggled with wanting distance for my own healing because talking to them only creates new wounds. The lies, hypocrisy, and manipulation I understand quite well now and it angers me because I now am aware of what is being done. So thank you for addressing this topic.
@donna-colorado8443
@donna-colorado8443 Жыл бұрын
It takes experience, which, unfortunately, I found out the hard way.
@neoneaglespirit97
@neoneaglespirit97 Жыл бұрын
Same
@jenn_jean_kent_artist
@jenn_jean_kent_artist 10 ай бұрын
This is a big 10/4. 💯
@Chelz15
@Chelz15 Жыл бұрын
They're only getting worse as time goes by. It's heartbreaking what could've been.
@nicholecornes1915
@nicholecornes1915 6 күн бұрын
Your so right
@1975Godmade
@1975Godmade Жыл бұрын
Gosh ! So thankful for this!!
@just_norma7
@just_norma7 7 ай бұрын
Dear Mark, you have no idea how much this has helped me today. I'm sure God led me to you. I received character assassination messages and emails from my sister this Christmas which rocked my progress and serenity so this episode was spot on and welcomed. Thank you. I will look at your book and resources. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! 🙏🏻👌🏻
@nicholecornes1915
@nicholecornes1915 6 күн бұрын
Not our job! They are going to break you and they will leave you
@Fred-ii5hu
@Fred-ii5hu Ай бұрын
I lost my church that I've attended ALL MY LIFE because my covert narc wife (soon to be ex) has them so fooled. Complete abandonment. Men don't get abused, how foolish of me.
@aishanusoul
@aishanusoul Жыл бұрын
Because they forgot they are not the Holy Spirit. Only God can save them. A narcissist will NOT allow you, a mere human to have enough control to influence them.
@nicholecornes1915
@nicholecornes1915 6 күн бұрын
Im not tolerating that! Omg
@velvetbruise
@velvetbruise 3 сағат бұрын
I don't think God cares. He is sovereign over who I was born to. He just hates my sin and accepts no excuses. I'm trying to overcome. I wish someone cared.
@zackbrown1787
@zackbrown1787 3 күн бұрын
Galatians 5 shows the fruits of the Spirit if their true believers. True believers will worship in Spirit and in truth. “Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, on the day of testing in the wilderness, where your fathers put me to the test and saw my works for forty years. Therefore I was provoked with that generation, and said, ‘They always go astray in their heart; they have not known my ways.’ As I swore in my wrath, ‘They shall not enter my rest.’” Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God.” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭3‬:‭7‬-‭12‬ ‭ESV‬‬
@underHiswings77
@underHiswings77 5 ай бұрын
Are you saying no believer can be unblinded @ humbled, see their issues & seek truth and healing?? When narcissism is present? Has no one been set free of it?
@frankcarrillo5955
@frankcarrillo5955 Ай бұрын
I need help in this area.
@nicholecornes1915
@nicholecornes1915 3 ай бұрын
They dont repent people
@darcyd2680
@darcyd2680 Жыл бұрын
7:40
@justinlrep
@justinlrep Жыл бұрын
So then if we are the narcissist we're stuck being narcissistic? My ex wife who exhibits traits of it herself said I was a narcissist. Does that mean there's hardly any hope for me?
@BenevolantBusinessBeauty
@BenevolantBusinessBeauty Жыл бұрын
I hardly doubt you are the narcissist. Narcissist do NOT do introspection. They’ve already “arrived”
@jamarionw1344
@jamarionw1344 Жыл бұрын
If I feel like I’m a narcissist would that make me not a narcissist
@danielsmith8141
@danielsmith8141 Жыл бұрын
Yes pretty much.
@katiepayne2479
@katiepayne2479 Жыл бұрын
It depends. Some become self aware and realize they need help. If you're truly concerned, please consider seeing a mental health professional for evaluation.
@jamarionw1344
@jamarionw1344 Жыл бұрын
@@katiepayne2479 I’m 16 and I don’t want to tell my mom because she might tell other people
@nicj5354
@nicj5354 Жыл бұрын
You might just have what's called narcissistic fleas - spend enough time with a narcissist and you start picking up their nasty behaviors. Ask Holy Spirit to reveal it to you.
@jamarionw1344
@jamarionw1344 Жыл бұрын
@@nicj5354 does that mean I’m a narcissist?
@juliedurm1320
@juliedurm1320 9 ай бұрын
How about someone in a long Christian marriage. You can’t expect the Narcissist to change . But there are no grounds for divorce.
@jedcollings3624
@jedcollings3624 4 ай бұрын
Why not? The way I see it, that would mean selling a part of yourself, what matters to you, to appease the group. Looking into this stuff should show you that narcissists will almost never change, the way I see it, you're just dooming yourself to a cruel mindset where you normalize fighting with your life partner, and that will likely pass on to your kids and their friends.
@bestdeals7295
@bestdeals7295 3 ай бұрын
there are grounds for divorce for unrepentant abuse, abandonment
@oilinmylamp
@oilinmylamp Жыл бұрын
(Not related to topic, but have a question): I fall into the OCD Scrupulosity group, I just opened myself up to a new relationship and now dealing with pain. How do I process this pain (when I normally stuff it down to survive and move on), this heartache/heartbreak? Like I said, I usually harden myself to the pain in order to move on quickly. I never learned how to process through pain properly. I'm hurting so much right now inside and it isn't even that I want to be with this person because I don't. But my OCD issues are causing me to focus in on him anyway. I simply don't know how to process through the current pain (and now realizing, old pain and heartbreak), unto wholeness in Jesus. I don't know how. H E L P, please. Thank you. I want free and I want to do this right this time.
@tatianaG
@tatianaG 5 ай бұрын
Jesus can change the heart of a narcissist.
@nicholecornes1915
@nicholecornes1915 3 ай бұрын
Yes but don't wait around for it
@tatianaG
@tatianaG 3 ай бұрын
@@nicholecornes1915I am a huge narcissist and Jesus helps me with it every day. He is able. Nothing is impossible for Him.
@nicholecornes1915
@nicholecornes1915 3 ай бұрын
@@tatianaG I'm happy for you
@katherineirvin7464
@katherineirvin7464 Жыл бұрын
Finally another one acknowledging that a reprobate mind will not change.
@nicholecornes1915
@nicholecornes1915 6 күн бұрын
Its a disorder run away
@pinkroses135
@pinkroses135 Жыл бұрын
It is a sin style
@elaine4937
@elaine4937 Жыл бұрын
Disappointingly, those Christians who support Donald Trump don't have a problem with his narcissism, in fact they accept, support and promote it.
@rogerdevero8726
@rogerdevero8726 Жыл бұрын
Who are YOU to claim to know what ANYONE feels? Do YOU know any politician who is NOT a narcissist? Elaine, maybe you prefer Biden the Grifter Pedophile supporter of CHILD MURDER. No, Trump is not perfect, but he does give glory to God.
@aishanusoul
@aishanusoul Жыл бұрын
Ever heard of vulnerable narcissist & a covert narcissist? Donald is an overt.
@bestdeals7295
@bestdeals7295 3 ай бұрын
I think many republicans can't stand him, but support him because of party policies like anti-abortion, etc... (not him directly), he is horrendous, but other choices are not that great either
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