It's harder to leave a narcissistic parent than a loving parent because a loving parent prepares you to be strong enough to leave them, a narcissistic parent does not.

Narc parents also withhold resources and make sure opportunities for friendships, jobs - anything that would empower the child are missed. They are clingy & emotionally manipulative making the child feel guilty for any success, friend, relationship or striking out on their own the child has managed to accomplish despite the limited resources they were given.

"If the child doesnt manufacture the relationship to the parent, there will be none." Exactly! That's how it is now that I've begun to fully individuate at 26

The child becomes hyper aware and attempts to emotionally support their parent who is in a constant state of distress. The parent can also become hostile and berate the child, making empty threats. The child is conditioned to become a people pleaser and the emotional punching bag. The child is the family scapegoat, something that extends into adulthood. The abuse stops once the scapegoat leaves and goes no contact with their abusers and the enablers who allowed it to continue. The scapegoat can rebuild their life once the saboteurs are eliminated from their life.

For me, it was the cruelty mixed in with the crumbs of " love" Messes with your head You believe the parent when they say they love you, at same time, punish you and you don't know what you did to upset them. The constant unexpected shocks to your nervous system over and over for years.

It’s really a curse and a blessing to have to experience the “forced independence” necessary to escape the narcissist parent, and the cost is very high. Love to all survivors. Stay strong.

This is so so difficult to hear especially if you picture a defenseless child not understanding why the parents doesn’t hold them comfortably anymore. So sad

"Go where love is given, not earned". I'm healing. ❤

This is just how it was for me. The more rejected I felt the more I tried to please them. When my parents died it was more relief than grief.

My mother was so cruel, it was relatively easier to keep a distance. It was the enablers (father, brothers, and relatives) that I implicitly tried to win over. After realizing my brother colluded together to trick me into doing something they didn't want to do for my parents, I realized my mother had won. She succeeded in instilling my scapegoat role in my brothers. At that point, all hopes were lost. I cut off all contact with all of them. Best decision of my life! It not only served to protect myself, it became a source of empowerment. I revel in the fact that I made it clear to every one of them know that I knew what they did to me, and I did not appreciate it.

21:50 So true: you will piss off your narc parent big time if go where you are wanted or do what you like. I understand now that, in my childhood, my parent's negative comments about me were brainwashing tools to make me think badly about myself.

I'm gaining distance as fast as I can now that I realize what has happened. I'm never looking back either.

I've never heard a better argument for surrendering hope for fixing a relationship in my life. You are absolutely right, and giving up hope that the narcissist will "come around" is the best thing I ever did, because it was the gateway to all the improvement that came after. And I can tell you from personal experience that the narcissist will go to his grave thinking that he never did anything wrong and that he just had ungrateful children. So glad I ditched my immediate family 33 years ago, because I watched what happened to my siblings who stayed. Each is an emotional train wreck who adopted too many of our father's behaviors and continued the cycle of abuse. I thank the heavens every day that both stayed childless.

One way that being raised by a narcissist has affected me is that I tend to chase people who withdraw their love, similar to the patient you treated. Since learning more about narcissism, I understand why I do that. I understand that when someone with drawers their love it's their choice, and it often has nothing to do with me if I haven't done anything to offend them. This has happened to me a lot in friendships, they start treating me differently and I'm so confused and her and try to win their love back

This is so true and very painful. I sometimes feel like I don't exist. I also find it difficult to follow my own inner guide/gut feeling because almost every time I do there is another force inside that stops me, it is very frustrating. This is a lot of work and I could not have done it without your help. Thank you again.💫

this is so validating...spent my lifetime disentangling from my narcissistic parents and gaslighting myself about it and every one of your videos helps me see it more clearly. There are so many strange residual cords still stuck in me even as an adult in how i think of myself and constantly feel guilty putting my needs before them waiting for them to wake up and say "we see you"... And the shame i still carry from having to be my parents emotional support animal and not develop my own person is overwhelming. It took me so long to learn about basics of who I was and to stop blaming and hating myself for it the things i did not learn and know how to do......i think because i was actively not allowed to be who i was growing up and told i was wrong, bad or hurting them whenever i tried to express myself or make my life about me.

I often wondered why I was also so drawn to be at home while other kids were off and didn't see their parents for months. I thought, those kids don't even want to be with their parents and I have such a close relationship with mine. I was under the narc spell for a long time and had to act in the way Jay's describes just to keep the relationship. I knew I was abandoning what I believed but wanting love was more important.

Jay, this is incredible. I just had an epiphany ! I had to "over activate my attachment" to my mother. That's what happened. Those feelings of abandonment, each time I got away...I couldn't figure why I didn't go as far I could, given I had many opportunities. I met wonderful people and yet... To this day, I get this feeling sometimes, out of nowhere, that "I cannot live without my mother." I am 68 years old and she managed to talk me into living with me. She has become so abusive and out of control with narcissistic rage these past two years that I have to lock myself in my room. This over activation of attachment makes so much sense now. Thank you, Jay, all your videos are absolutely top notch. I have been listening to many experts and psychologists and some of them are really very interesting and useful, but you are in a class of your own. Not only your insights and three pillar method are amazing but the way you organize your thoughts and explain is perfect. I fall asleep at night as I listen to you with my iPad. It comforts me so and I learn more while I sleep...My partner is very understanding, God bless him. The only reason I haven't bought your online course yet is that I can't afford it right now plus I am so deep in depression that I am not sure I could do it now but I sure can't wait to get it. I feel it in my bones. Hope. Many thanks from France. I only wish I could be back in California right now.

"Where love is given, not earned." That's a keeper.

My mother forbade me to have any talent. She wasn't benevolent to me. I was the scapegoat and my two siblings were the golden children. They then imitate their behavior towards me. So I was avoided by everyone, ignored. (The narcissist's scapegoating behavior extends to the whole family. Siblings aunts uncles and dad ) She prevented contact with aunts. They could have said something about the mother's behavior and acted in a supportive manner. My mother made members of the family into flying monkeys. They then carried out and confirmed what the mother wanted to enforce. Confirmed what she had said. I am now 53 and only now able to realize what actually happened. It feels so hard to distance myself from such a powerful mother. who manipulates so many. And I lost all my family in the course of the 0 contact with my mother. A family that I basically never had.... But it's still such a mental isolation.

A child used to contempt will feel contempt for anyone who loves them.

Jay, what would my world be like if I found you in my late teens, I’m 62 now. A childhood under the thumb of narcissistic parents creates an unfortunate destiny.

Your work here has been so valuable to me. Thank you so much, Jay. You fill in the gaps left by more "popular" therapists who specialize in telling folks what they want to hear but often don't go deeper into what's happening beneath the surface. You break things down clearly, systematically, and thoroughly in ways that satisfy an intellectual hunger for understanding as well as the emotional need for validation and healing. I can't thank you enough, and I will thank you in the acknowledgments page of the book I'm hoping will someday make it possible to afford to work with you or another really good, qualified expert in psychotherapy. Many thanks. Cheers!

Also the kid feels responsible for all the self induced drama the narcisst brings home - being fired multiple times, feuds, friendship breakups, relationship breakdown or hysteria and intensity - the kid feels their parent is a victim because the parent plays this to the max

So true. I didn't watch the video when it came cause I knew it will be triggering. But it's enlightening. Girls are at high risk of being sheltered bc we hear things like: "don't go alone", "it's dangerous" or we are silenced and discouraged from initiating friendships/relationships It causes general/social anxiety that makes it hard to separate from the parent.

Thank you for another insightful video. Yes: Gaining distance to my abusing parents was as important as it was difficult. I struggled with a feeling of loneliness for a long time even though there was never any love in the first place. Now the loneliness gets better, but I still feel guilty as hell.

Best explanation of the mechanics of the damage I'd experienced, and never understood till now, my early 40s. Why I'd feel physically repelled towards the partners loved me and chose those who replicated the parent who broke my heart. And why I blamed and shamed myself for my family's misery all these years. A great video to help others understand us. Thank you. 💜

Yes. This was exactly the relationship with my mom.

Not Enough of anything describes the family system I was born into…it’s like being on a starvation diet-surviving extended family continues to interact in this way. Breadcrumbs at best. Not any longer investing in that cold black hole.

That’s such an interesting comment about it being more difficult to detach from a narcissist parent than a ‘normal’ loving parent. It didn’t matter what I did, I wasn’t important to either of my parents. I have felt like I had to also not pay attention to or share what’s inside me because no one’s interested. I have taken a long time to detach from my parents and, at times, felt shame that feels like being stabbed.

So, it is harder for the surviving child to leave a relationship with narcissistic parent, because of the feeling they are used to having. It felt they are home whenever they get, "punched in the chin", from another partner. Abuse, like everything else in existence, can addiction in of itself. I, though, is just still stuck with mines for practical reasons. I am still secretly climbing out the narcissistic family system I am trapped in myself.

Your timing of topics is always somehow magically linked with my life events/ situations 😢 thank you for your videos ❤

This makes sense! It explains the need to stop, think, and redirect. Narc parents and people are void of anything but thorns and sticker bushes.

This man gets it. So many layers. Like how could I love someone who would love me, given my self contempt. Or, how could I allow a good person to love me cause it would be "disloyal" to my family, the role and definition they gave me? Or how could I allow love in, it would feel so wrong? Trying to find faith (new to me) but I can't even allow myself to be forgiven. STUCK, frozen. I don't want this life, but I don't want to be happy, I've never been and it is too scary.

This makes sense why my son was able to go no contact at 23, whereas it took me until I was 45 to go no contact with my covert narcissistic mom.

Amazing, thank you for this accurate description and by definition validation of this mind twisting toxic dynamic. surrendering hope was the first major step for me, and still I catch myseld/my inner-child trying to find an alternative solution to this clear and obvious truth (once you finally understand it) thank you. health and healing to all.

This is sooooo my family. Im ok as the scapegoat but my golden brother is actually worse off and he won't ever see how bad she did him.

This is a powerful video. As always - thank You so much for your work, Jay. I feel so much less alone as I move out of the illusion one step at a time

After hearing this I felt so unburdened without TRYING to fix and prove and seek and try. Than you for sharing. Mind games changer for me.

I relate so much to what you discussed about having to earn love from people who are unavailable. That is always my relationship with my mother. Although my father was violent, I knew that he love me. My mother did not defend me against the violence, and gave me the message that I must be “good“ in order to be loved by her, and by God. It finally took her getting dementia for me to stop pursuing her love. Thank you so much for all that you do.

My mom was never mean or abusive but all of this is exactly true. My childhood was not about me, it was all about her and appeasing her. This continues to this day, so many years later. Any deviation from this results in her having a massive breakdown, or at the very least the fear of it. No one wants to say anything because we dont want to make mom sad.

These insights and descriptions concern myself andy life. I was unable to go to my life because of the scarcity of love from my mother. And here is why. Going my way launches so much fears of abandonment! Even if I am in my 50ies. Childish emotions have not vanished, but have hidden. They were always there in hidden below conscious outer she'll. Now I feel weaker outside, I made much outer effort to cope in life, but the inner difficulties are fresh and vigorously push on me. This logic is insane to the core. It does not allow a free person to thrive in the good environment. But clutches him/er. to the tormentor from past away. Do we need to pay bills for sick bullying parents? With the valuable assets of our life?

You really have to plan your escape and once you get away, get into therapy all the while going no-contact on the narcissist.

This video was groundbreaking

Profound statement. "Forced attatchment". I.e. A forced emotional attachment, In other words. And as we carry on this journey to understand our burdens , know that there are many of us who carry this on their backs. It's an invisible burden that we try to conceal to the world. But the narcs and cons see it. And it always comes out in other ways. Look at it this way. If we didn't reach out for knowledge of what we suspect had happened to us, we'd be just as dillusional as they were. And No one ever had the right to make their emotional problems yours too. I now see it in other people, now that I know what to look for. Keep pushing and dont question your mind. Question your family of origin if you're unhappy. It all comes out through persistent work and taking back what always belonged to You. Your right to be Yourself. My heart goes out to everyone here. I'm old, but determined to see the truth of my adopted family's lies. And why they were ever told in the firat place. I'm a scapegoat no more. If there are assets in any form, always consider that first. 😊

Being raised by narcissists, I became emotionally disturbed and have lived with anxiety all my life that now in my 30s I am physically ill. My narcissist parents achieved their goals in that they made me into a failed adult. My father's goal was to make me financially unstable so that I can be homeless and not be able to gain his respect as he weaponizes money to tie my mother to him.

It's hard to leave someone you've never been with

This really gave me such good insight into understanding my relationships with others and it’s so helpful to know the “why” and make healthy relationships ‘familiar’ even though that may not have been available during childhood. Feeling ‘safe’ in relationships is a very unfamiliar feeling for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Thank you for your support 💜🙏

This was a really great video, Jay! You did such a great job at explaining the dysfunctional dynamics. We can tell you "get it". Thank you for being a voice of reason.

Wow... Jay, thank you so much. This was so very much my exoerience. This was so very helpful! It helped me to make sense of so much that I had to pause it and think and come back to the video and I even did some journaling. I want to come back to this and go over it again and do even more thinking and journaling.

Dr Jay, at 17 minutes you say we need to surround ourselves w safe, healthy people like it's something easy and magically available. Post Quarantine w the mental state of society being so unhealthy, AND as an almost 58 yr old woman, ... The ONLY healthy person I know is my trauma informed therapist. And I have to pay her to be the healthy support in my life. As for safe survivors groups, theyre infiltrated w unhealthy codependent AND predators. Or let's say hey go out and find new friends in a community, or let's say even considering dating as we older survivors get healthier... At age 57, it gets exhausting to hear you psychologists and psychiatrists tell a much older Survivor to find ourselves healthy friends, and Surround ourselves with safe supportive people. It's impossible Dr. Jay. Can one of you professionals PLEASE address the REALITY of the situation here, instead of this magical thinking-solution, that clearly is unobtainable for certain age groups of survival. Thank you for the consideration of addressing a real issue that cannot easily or comfortably be talked about.

That’s me I was obsessed with family my whole life.. being back at home it been a lesson in invisibility and realized these are not my friends it’s toxic attachment

It's kind of like a Stockholm syndrome like I would feel like the parent who is leaving the child if I were to leave my mother because I know how insecure and vulnerable she really is

Jay Reid, I am just speechless. This is me and my narcissistic mother. I will check out your website and other info. TY from the bottom of my heart. Therapy failed me many years ago and I was told to ‘get over it. ‘

This info is so important it really deserves better audio.

Im 45 yo man. I have only just dicovered my parents are narcissists. Unfortnately my children are grown and have suffered because im not right. The cycle of abuse rots a family from the inside out 😢. Ive managed to break away from mum and dad but its only been a few weeks. In that time ive been blamed for a sorts of stuff by them, none of which has any reason but self fullfilling behaviour. Myself, my wife and now older children are very much at the begining of our healing journey. I feel s guilty that I have passed some of this abuse on to my wife and daughters, i never meant to hurt them and didnt understand my emotional state until now. Now i am begining to analyse exactly which behaviours they emit that are related to the abuse so i can try to help them heal. There has been substance use, self harming, fits of rage and depression and i have fibro myalgia with chronic pain and fatigue. I now realise it is because of systemic psychlogical abuse. I want to do all i can to heal my life and the people that truly matter within it. I welcome any advice from a fellow survivor of this horrendous and seemingly wel hidden form of abuse?

My mom always says that the reason she bonded with my brother is because she was able to breastfeed him and that she didn't breastfeed me and she was never able to bond with me properly

I was always very aware how hateful the father was and still is. I often wonder how different I would be if anyone had truly loved me. I have never felt love.

It's interesting that of all the growing I've been doing, breaking out of the mold my narcissistic father raised me, the more he doesn't want anything to do with me. He liked me more as a kid because I wanted him to be proud of me and appreciate me. The more I am myself, the way I want to be, the less he can control me anymore, and he doesn't like that at all

You speak to us like a best friend with incredible and useful knowledge! Always outstanding concepts from a stellar professional. Thank you Jay. BTW -love your book.

100% my experience

That video was VERY helpful. Thank you.

Oh man...I can soooo relate to "Joseph". But on the gutter cleaning, it is so NOT just a simple nor EASY task! I have to do mine YEARLY and it takes 2 hrs minimum just on the North side (moving the tall ladder itself by myself takes strength and flexibility then cleaning up the mess afterwards. If the dude would have done it himself he would have understood, maybe)! But then again narcissist ALWAYS expect more of others than they do themselves AND when their "expectation" IS fulfilled by the expectee it will either not be sufficient or more will be expected or both. It is a never ending circle of entrapment.

Really enjoying your book! It is so clearly written and helpful.

Very profound video, Dr. Jay. Thank you. You provide many insights and nuances to what happens in the child. Really appreciate you.

Very interesting, shows how unhealed scapegoats choose partners.

So sad to hear the truth

Thank you so much for a great session! It makes things clear for me. I know that my mother is a coverted narcissist, she doesn’t have love to give, but it hard for me to cut and run! Makes total sense!

I wish someone made a video on narcissistic therapists

Emotionally manipulated and lack of privacy needed

Excellent content!!! 👏👏👏👏🌻

This accurately reframes my entire upbringing. The creepiest part is that my mother was an LMFT the whole time.

Brilliant video. Great healing tips. Surrendering the parent. Reciprocating, Acceptance.

very helpful. i’m a year and half into recovery and i still need to hear every world of this. thank you.

What he said starting at 7:12 I truly believe is where my constant moments of guilt comes from. I truly believe that he targeted the symptoms of guilt so well there, because it's what I went through for years. That's gotta be it. I really hope I'm right.

You are good, it's exactly the way it was

In my case me and my siblings all new how unavailable and naricistic one of my parents was. He was a rager, we had to walk on eggshells, no TV was even allowed, it was like having to pretend to be happy doing things that where extremely boring around him, and also the psycological experience of not being able to relax and be our true selves around him. So the attachment figure i had was my mother to a certain degree she was codepdent but capeable of empathy she also, realized my dad didnt care for our happiness or supporting our needs as children so she took that role to buy as christmas presents celebrate birthdays and help us in our social life as kids growing up. My mother obviously had some of her own stuff she hasn't unpacked , which is why she stayed a while with a narcisistic parent, and has her own codepdency issues as woman, and a survivor of a narcisistic mother her. self, and a almost alcoholic father. I was made to live with my dad in a different country to my own where it was systematic abuse on the daily and control, this was psyocoligcally very difficult, i left that house, and returned to my country and drank all the time, as numbing agent to the abuse, that was only intensified when i lifved 2 years alone with the narcisistic parent. After getting sober at age 23 i realized and ofcourse connected that i was a trauma survivor and that what i was trying to numb was the abuse which i always knew i knew living in the a different country and alone with the narc parent impacted me , psycologically. HE was abusive and an asshole, a clssic narc. After getting sober i found support groups that dealt with trauma in my country they're organized in some ways like a 12 step group but they deal with trauma, youll find different types of people there. I wasblessed to find a person who was very trauama informed and empathic enough to hold space for me and my experiences and offer empathy and model self compassion (gentleness ) t o me and healthy boundaries to me , with time i stayted integrating both of these practices and my inner child and true self came out when i started settigmaintaing and following through with boundaries, in my job as well, i felt recconeted to my trueself sesne of self, identity etc. I realized i could be or was or am the loving parent to my inner child and true self that has gentleness healthy boundariess can advocate for my needs and find safe enough people to connect with and get my needs met . Were worth it! . And that being said, since we as kids always new my father was unavailable and narc, im not attracted to narc people , as friends, or as romanic interest if their female. Since i was the scapegoat, and thank Godand my work in attunement i have 4 years in healing from this childhood , i have just understood how selfserving and raining narcs are, there energy feels that way to me, it feels like its all about them, and i just try to choose safe enoguh people who can help me meet my needs, in reciprocal ways, and also, the option to navigate the world who has narc people out there , with civility. distance, and healthy boundaries too, and takingup my space and choosing my safe enough people for my circle playing and having fun here and again. and giving myself permission to nejoy also,without having to be constantly productive all the time, watching things like futbol that i like and chatting up people and pretty chicas in. myarea..... We are worth it ! IThe support groups i have gone. toare helpful and finding my safe enough people in them have been helpful and having helathy boundaries and civility and distance from those who are displaying strong narc traits, anywhow thanks for the video we keep healing by staying gentle and true to ourselves, and feeling our feelings playing and having fun , and giving ourselves permisison to the things we like from time to time. We are worth it . God speed , . With gentleness humor love and respect were worth it .:)

If I don't realize I'm the family scapegoat, or one of them until I'm 65-66, is it possible to revover? The destructive attachment remains even after parent died.

Thank you so much for your videos! You explain things so clearly. And congratulations on the book!

Parents cause mental illness in their children. Parents are the cause of mental illness. If your child has mental illness, it is your fault. If you have mental illness, it's your parents fault. Your parents are to blame for your mental illness and/or addiction. Yes they are. No. It's not your child's fault they are suffering from mental illness. No. It is not your fault that you are suffering from mental illness, it's your parents fault. Blame your parents for your mental illness. Because your parents behavior and choices determine your ACE score. The higher your ACE score, the higher risk of prevalence of mental illness and addiction you will subsequently face.

I would hope a parent would WANT adult kids who have the ability to survive in the world and make good decisions for themselves. However, as we all know by now, narcissists...😮

WOOOOOOW….. this makes so much sense now I understand why some of this happened with my kids.

Wow. That was so relatable. Thank you ! That shed light on so much. Sounded like my narcisstic traited father. And my mother was passive and emotionally unavailable. I'm finding it tricky to make new safe friendships. I need to look to where its unfamiliar where I am treated with value and to stop seeking approval from people who disrespect or treat me as less than, not worth it or with gaslighting. I was allowing what I was used to, to repeat in new friendships . I will try again and this time choose those who I do feel valued by. Very helpful. Thank you

This is so true. I can relate to so many things you said. Thank you

I’ve been looking forward to every Friday’s new video. Some resonate more with my experience than others. This one for example, I didn’t find it harder leaving either parent ( neither were loving). However, you articulate everything very well, and I can relate to the tax metaphor. I wonder though if how you explained this dynamic, it might give me some insight into why any insults, rejection, rudeness and negativity seem to stick in my craw more than the positive things like compliments, random acts of kindness and great service do. Like the bad stuff seems to outweigh the good and ruin my mood and I have to remind myself of the positive interactions. I also wonder if some of your topic for this week’s video relate to the human nature of wanting what we can’t have. Like “Joseph’s “ problem of being more drawn to the more difficult woman than the one who he knew was good for him. That old saying about not wanting to join any club that would have one as a member. Perhaps up for a challenge to subconsciously get closure on unfinished business or something like that.

Great analysis. So true. Thank you for this video

I just had another thought about your videos and what I’ve learned so far - in my KZfaq feed, suddenly these other therapists have videos about the tendency for some of us to over share. I’ve tried listening to them, but I, and I imagine, many of your subscribers feel more comfortable and in tune with your take on things. I’m hoping that one day soon, you’ll do a video about the subject. I’ve learned from you that it’s best to try to find safe enough people to move on to. Although some of us find even meeting them or better able to recognize whether they’re safe to be enough of a challenge, what I often find is that there are those who are probably safe and worth getting to know, but I find myself sharing my life story, just spilling my guts, to someone I’ve just introduced myself to, and they didn’t ask for all my tmi. I know that it drives them away, because they end the conversation first and I feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome, and never, or rarely hear from them again. I then feel the old familiar rejection and the sadness from that. I’ve just bared my soul to someone new, and then what’s left to know? I’ve probably overwhelmed them, and like with sales, or dating, it’s best to leave them wanting more. But I do the opposite. I have had a most interesting life, and have many interesting stories to tell, but I’m left feeling like they’re bored with me, and that hurts because I’m not boring at all. So with this compulsion, I’ve driven away safe people who could’ve otherwise shown me non toxic dynamics. I imagine I do this because I’m a loner and at my stage of life, don’t get out much. I wish I knew how to curb it. I’ve tried watching videos about it, but these other therapists are harder for me to follow and feel like I’ve gotten the message.

I think you just answered a huge question for me. Thank you.

Chasing acceptance is like chasing the opioid dragon

Love the 🎤

Thank you Jay this is a mountain of Gold...it appears my ship is finally in the harbor

Thank you, Jay. This is so relevant in my life. ❤

Wow this is so moving 😢

Thank you Jay. This is very good and has helped me understand some things in my own life and in those of my children. I appreciate your impact and your endeavours to assist other survivors of narcissistic abuse from your own experience as well as from your training.

Well sometimes you are actually just seemingly trapped in their catch 22, double bind circumstantial “after the fact” web even tho inside you’ve already “left” them. I think that would most accurately describe me at this moment. Perhaps soon my externals will finally catch up with my internals. Seems similar to me such as when a woman has “made up her mind” that she is done, that it’s over, no more trying etc…that usually comes before her actually physically leaving a man. There’s really nothing left other than the semantics of trudging through the physical obstacle course that they left in their wake. All I really feel now is annoyed that they have created such an unnecessary labyrinth to have to get past before I can get the heck out of Dodge. It’s harder to leave Bcuz they MAKE it so hard to ever get to leave. Both emotionally at first and then with a myriad of practical difficulties. They’re imo as bad as Pharoah who refused to ever “let my people go.” And Bcuz what control freak despot ever wanted to lose their free slaves? As you know, they had to come down hard and MAKE him let them go or else he’d never let go. I am not at all willing to stay, but the Red Sea has not quite parted for me just yet. And even then Omg how he STILL refused to let go and chased and hunted them down to the very last second. Simply put, the more you try to find your way out, the harder they sink their talons into your neck. It’s so hard Bcuz they make it so hard.

This is another awesome video

Yes, same experience in my relationships. So helpful. Thank you Jay x

Thank you Jay. It makes so much sense and really helped me a lot to understand myself better in recovery.

Wow. Your videos are spot on, and you make me start to understand. Finally, thank you for being so knowledgeable and explaining it exceptionally well, so that people can understand & relate. ❤ Just thank you so much for your videos and you! ❤

Hello Jay, I just want to let you know all of these videos have helped me so much. It has put life into a different view and made me feel less alone and less crazy.