Why Men Like Mean Girls- Relationship Advice for Women
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6 ай бұрынWhy Men Like Mean Girls- Relationship Advice. Do men only value a ‘mean’ girl? What is the true allure of a female who’s not nice? Learn how to discern from a guy who only values the chase, over one who values love.
Jennifer writes, “Hi Susan, Thank you for being the voice of sanity in today's dizzying world of dating. This has happened to me 3 times, so thought I'd ask if you have insights. After 1-3 months of exclusive dating (boyfriend/girlfriend), a guy will tell me "you are perfect, so sweet, I just don't feel butterflies", or "you are too nice, maybe I need someone bitchier." Why does this keep happening? :-(“
I published an article years ago posing this same question: why is it that the ‘nice’ girls get taken for granted, pushed aside, or left because guys don’t ‘feel the spark?’ Do we have to be women we hate to get the man we love?
It wasn’t until I began working with numerous male clients that I finally understood. (And BTW; this counterintuitive dynamic isn’t solely gender specific). Listen to the video to learn more about the kind of guy you think you lost... and learn the real truth of the situation.
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@Claus1234 6 ай бұрын
To imagine a dating world where being sincere is seen as a strength... 🙂
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
Why not?? it can happen. There are great people out there and there are still people that are interested in the real thing.
@darrellborland119 6 ай бұрын
@Claus1234...As Susan has mentioned, decent, straight-shooting women are available...Just have to look in non-traditional areas of mutual interest...IE, met my wife in a hiking club, Claus...over 25 years ago...Thanks and please keep a positive attitude, in face of the nonsense in singles-circles...sometimes referred to as.. :"Radio San Juan", the BS folks use to keep distance from those who desire a more realistic dialogue. 😇😀
@SusanWinter 5 ай бұрын
thanks for this @@darrellborland119
@smoothtruth 5 ай бұрын
❤
@user-us8if2iq7q 4 ай бұрын
What Susan just said about how men don't want a relationship.They don't want a relationship.They just want the ego hit.... This explains why men will talk to you online... And when they find out that you're interested in meeting up or dating.... They will arrange the date they will get you to agree.And then they will cancel it the last second.... Because they got what they wanted.They got the ego hit of finding out if a pretty successful female would go out with them or not... And that is the only reason they're dating online is just to find out whether they're attractive.Still weather a girl would want them but they don't want to go to the trouble of taking you out to dinner because they just wanted the " ego hit"
@starlightdreamer1999 6 ай бұрын
I am too nice and I plan on staying this way !!! I am older and I dint need all the foolish games that many people play these days . Youre amazing Susan 🙂
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
❤❤❤
@suziechampagne357 6 ай бұрын
All these games are mentally and emotionally exhausting. I'm on a lonnng break of dating since covid. My inner peace is more important. My focus has been on preparing my retirement, buying new property and moving into it so that I can be geographically closer to my beautiful grandchildren. Goal achieved.
@aylex1974 6 ай бұрын
Mean people with mean people. That's all. They can keep hanging out 👎
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
Understood!!
@WigglyTuffStuff 6 ай бұрын
Its like these people are seeking the feeling of love but not the consistency of a loving partnership.
@SusanWinter Күн бұрын
well stated
@kerrymillar1267 6 ай бұрын
Men like this have insecure attachment styles. Honestly this girl has had a lucky escape, I hope she finds someone as lovely as her. This is really good advice, thanks for validating her.
@avarosalia4309 6 ай бұрын
Had this happened to me and he married the “spicy” one too. He looks miserable after the wedding 🤷🏻♀️
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
Haha. Karma and correction. You know the saying the same reason that we’re attracted to them will be the same reason we will leave them.
@avarosalia4309 6 ай бұрын
@@SusanWinter now that I have matured I understand that excitement does not equate marriage material.
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
LOVE THAT STATEMENT!! Thank you@@avarosalia4309
@andrewstewart9063 6 ай бұрын
Mean girls/guys have too much player baggage. Red flag for me. Won't get a second date or become friends.
@Magnus_Kitty 6 ай бұрын
Great advice Susan before you even answered the question I was thinking this poor girl is just choosing the wrong men. Shame how kindness has been turned into some kind of character defect nowdays.
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
I agreee Magnus
@Quiche543 6 ай бұрын
My first therapist told me that when I meet a man & feel the "butterflies" aka "rush of chemistry" aka adrenaline" it's my signal to RUN!!! lol
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
That’s a very advanced understanding and I agree with your therapist. It’s true that we can be excited. But I truly believe that “butterflies” are a combination of excitement and terror.
@antonella7610 6 ай бұрын
@@SusanWintercan you do a video of this one day please 🙏🏽??
@Diarrheagod 6 ай бұрын
@@SusanWinteris it considered a red flag then?
@alexflips393 6 ай бұрын
No I’m into kindness and playfulness.
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
As you should be if you’d like yourself and have high self-esteem. Good for you.
@CrystalDatingCoach 6 ай бұрын
Respecting yourself and having Standards isn't being MEAN.
@DiamondsRexpensive 6 ай бұрын
You'd never put a ring on it though 😂
@alexflips393 6 ай бұрын
I fully intend to put a ring on it.
@Metalpazallteway 6 ай бұрын
The biggest issue in society is most likely we live in a traumatic shock society. So once we have something at comfortable will to us it's like a slap in the face because we're not used to it. But that's for men who look for that chase so it's a bit dishonest on their part. Vice versa
@Tray-5 6 ай бұрын
This is a first for me. Give me a kind hearted woman any day.
@ItsYourConfidentGal 6 ай бұрын
Butterfly are bad news. Feeling safe and sleepy is good
@Diarrheagod 6 ай бұрын
I hate the butterflies! I can never sleep or eat. I’ve learned the hard way that whenever I feel that with someone, I run away now. I never want to feel like can’t eat can’t sleep type of love. To me it’s too scary. I want to be comfortable so I can be myself with someone.
@camillabartlett9128 6 ай бұрын
Immature Scared of commitment And it just an excuse for players That like push pull Hot cold I’m liking my own
@lewis7315 6 ай бұрын
No serious guy wants to go through endless drama. Few girls today are willing to just be a girl.
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
Excellent share. Thank you very much Lewis.
@DawnBehling 6 ай бұрын
GOLD. Thank you Susan. I needed this today.
@lovedaily1810 6 ай бұрын
You're teaching really good...
@sl7805 6 ай бұрын
Susan I was just thinking about this today and saw the notification from your channel… amazing!
@LuisArias-ui5dw 6 ай бұрын
Lookin lovely Susan keep up the great content 🌹🌹🌹
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
Thank you, I will
@grilledcheese9297 6 ай бұрын
We really dont like mean girls, honest to god its the most off putting thing
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
Understood. But then you were coming from a much more statistic perspective.
@Coolman1985 5 ай бұрын
I gotta say this video was eye opening to a max, thanks Susan
@SusanWinter 6 күн бұрын
You're welcome
@acd1168 6 ай бұрын
I was thinking about this exact thing a few days ago. Great answer!
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
thanks!!
@Tanaleon808 6 ай бұрын
Looking great as always Susan ❤
@charcerv1 6 ай бұрын
I have a show idea for you that I would really value more insight on. If we have such a high need for emotional safety, like me, from lots of early childhood and adolescent traumas, how can we come to value someone who has what it takes to contribute to a healthy relationship? At 61, I'm still attracted to the men who don't have that, or don't treat me as respectfully as I would like. I have the good sense now to cut those men off, but then I'm left without anyone I can get excited about. I have been in years of therapy over the decades, but this is still my reality. Thank you.
@SusanWinter 6 күн бұрын
Thank you for sharing. I agree that there is a lack of polite behavior straight across the board in dating and in day-to-day comportment. I'd be happy to work with you. And I know that that would be a great video idea, but the answer is really quite targeted to the individual. So please consider, a session with me-- I'm happy to help
@pinoniks 2 ай бұрын
Yeah, I had been told this, but I feel like I can't understand that fully. I guess if I'm too nice then you are too drama for me and that is so. All man who had this problem made everything mindgames and it was exhousting not fun.
@darrellborland119 6 ай бұрын
The closest I got to a "Mean Girl" was back about 45 years ago, LOL..lived in a small liberal college town, two bars, one for "working Class" and one Sports Bar for "beautiful" macho boys and girls. She said she was of that higher class, and had been a member of that Jet-set-Swingers Club era. Two abortions later, many macho men, and NO respect for her father, who had given her a 3M Company entrance card to their exclusive clubs world-wide. "I saw Dad drunk, and lost all respect for him", was her comment. She complained to me: "That football player "Hunk" is not warming up to me as I think should happen...I wonder, folks, what happened to her, in light of where hedonism has taken many men and women of our generation? By the way, she had a bumper sticker: Heidelburg..with pot inference. LOL. Folks, these memories are golden, LOL. Thanks, Susan...you are the best. And thanks for a trip down memory lane...thank God I had the good sense not to chase crazy, eye-candy thrill-driven women. 😇😄
@sisteranastasia9101 6 ай бұрын
They need to teach that at school - they stuff you are saying in this video :) Hope you are doing well in Singapore right now :) xxxxxx
@tallspicy 6 ай бұрын
Because she chooses avoidant men.
@darrellbutler884 6 ай бұрын
❤ sure, as long I can only observe them being mean to someone besides me, or those I care for.
@elidaqt 6 ай бұрын
Great video Susan!!! You’re looking like a beautiful flower 😍 you’re looking like Susan Spring haha please share your beauty tips. So pretty!!
@SusanWinter 6 күн бұрын
Oh thank you!
@elidaqt 6 күн бұрын
@@SusanWinterI realized Susan Summer might have been better but I’m glad you understood what I meant ❤😂
@Alexandraahlblad 6 ай бұрын
Can someone have been in a long term relationship and still act like this? Or maybe they changed and became like this during the post relationship journey ?
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
Both scenarios can be true. You can be with somebody in a long-term relationship and they're negative side comes to the forefront. Maybe they were always a little bitchy but now they're more "comfortable" with you, so they let it loose. And, they are also those who change throughout the relationship and it can become meaner.
@Alexandraahlblad 6 ай бұрын
Thank you❣️ youre work is GREAT!
@rocknjocie 6 ай бұрын
2:07 "They catch the ball chase the ball get the ball..." sounds like a dog to me
@SusanWinter 6 күн бұрын
I know. I have a little doggy so therefore the reference. But men are obsessed with their balls. Foot balls. Soccer balls, golf balls, base balls. Basketballs,, pool balls, billiards balls. And on and on and on.
@malungayesemusic 6 ай бұрын
Thank you ❤
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
You are welcome
@yousfiabdelali 6 ай бұрын
and vice versa. right?
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
Correct as I said, in the description notes, it goes vice versa this mentality has nothing to do with gender
@yousfiabdelali 6 ай бұрын
@@SusanWinter thank you! your videos are incredibly helpful
@ELIZABETHTORRES-em3kx 6 ай бұрын
This video came perfectly for me since I’m mean and o ppl to push them away and they don’t get it that I don’t like them. When u r men they love ❤️ more yes it’s it for me
@s.j.4061 24 күн бұрын
Thanks for this great Video! You opended my eyes!! May Allah grant you a great life und thanks a lot for helping us:
@SusanWinter 6 күн бұрын
thank you!
@joshuaicoqnito4445 6 ай бұрын
I usually agree with you 100% but I gotta disagree with you. The very vast majority of men definitely CRAVE a nice woman and not a bitchy/complicated one. It's more common for women to feel attracted to dismissive men who are NOT nice afaik.
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
Did you listen to the video? The title is not what I truly believe. And the title is nothing about what I said. It’s a cultural understanding in some communities and some groups of people. So please rewatch the video so you’re getting the message.
@agent1.618 6 ай бұрын
seems like the title might be 'click bait' to appeal to a certain audience.
@joshuaicoqnito4445 6 ай бұрын
@@SusanWinter My bad, the title certainly got me.
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
I am working with a new technician who has made me aware of the fact that I have never ever ever considered. SEO. So you were on the money. However, the content inside is what's important.@@agent1.618
@chrissemenko628 3 ай бұрын
Nope. U lost me when you said can they be with you for 2, 3, 7 years.. My ex narc managed a 17 year marriage "Years" = nada
@Xodileen_bell1234 Ай бұрын
Oh no😅 it's actually not them it's me haha 😅 ugh .... Turns out.. I always chases the high. Idk how to not be like that tho, genuinely.. Help
@kinglevo1369 6 ай бұрын
Nah we like cool nice women that's it.
@MadawaskaObservatory 6 ай бұрын
No I don't think that is quite right. Like women, men do a bit a romance in their relationship. To me I interpret this as a lack of romance from this women.
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
When you see that attitude in women, you know, they also are not ready for a real relationship. Either they don't value you as a person, or they don't understand the value of a good person.
@lyndamcmullen5506 6 ай бұрын
❤❤❤
@Lightgeneration6446 6 ай бұрын
I think some of this could be toxic advice and half of it sounds like a possibility for a relationship sounds like most men would not be okay with how you described it Females y’all really want to know watch men’s podcast then took note how different types of guys see life As a Godly man who believe in marriage, who loves the things of God after being in abusive relationship with a narcissist I would recommend to a good loving lady who’s tryna find love in a man who’s love the things of God and wants marriage from the jump is intentional about it my mistake as a young cup was to give wife benefits to females who wasn’t trynna do nothing from the start, building marriage and goals for something short Marriage from the start That way you ain’t have to go from guy to guy unless that what u trynna do God gave us all free will…
@igatti9923 6 ай бұрын
Populace. The most part of ppl lack of self awareness.
@arnabbiswas6992 6 ай бұрын
Lady for God's sake. Who are these men you are referring to? Do they exists anywhere apart from your weird imagination? Why would anyone like someone who is mean to them?
@StonyStevenson75 6 ай бұрын
She's referring to 'players' who don't want a relationship, yet to whom women still gravitate..
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
@@StonyStevenson75agreed. Thanks for that share. Often times people comment on the title alone and they do not watch the video and they do not hear what it says.
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
ARNA- watch the video in its entirety. You’re judging from the title -the message is completely opposite.
@mesCheerios 6 ай бұрын
"weird imagination lady" wow that is so rude. You only ever met men who want committed relationships? Well you need to meet more people because there is a whole world out there. Susan has been doing this work from an unbiased perspective for a long time and just think for a second - Doesn't it make logical sense that not every man is the same? For example, not every man would respond as rudely as you did. Also, she is trying to help someone who has been affected by these kinds of people and you are erasing their experience
@SusanWinter 6 ай бұрын
@@mesCheerios Wow, thank you for the support. Much appreciated. I do realize that people get reactive to titles. And quite unfortunately it's the titles that make people watch. But if they 'react', it would be nice that they reacted to the information given. And perhaps listened to the entire message. Anyway cheers to Cheerios.!
Susan Winter
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