Tony is right! My grandfather told me an empty wagon makes a lot of noise..meaning people that are loud and boisterous are empty. My grandfather was a quiet man, but when he speaks everyone paid attention to him. I learned my calm, quiet demeanor from him. All that loud, acting crazy, flaunting mess, they just want attention and try to intimidate people.

A guilty conscious will make a Man extremely controlling as well. He doesn’t want his actions to be delivered back onto him and truly have to reap what he sows. So he tries to control everything around him in hopes that he can prevent that from happening.

You're dealing with a boy in the body of a man. You're dealing with unresolved childhood issues. An insecure man is the most dangerous being on the Earth. This definitely explains a lot of the gun violence we are seeing.

"...a man controls because he's fearful or he's insecure..." 🤔💯💯💯💯💯💯

Grown men like to lead, grown manchild likes to control. *Alpha vs Narcissist* 💡

The truth is that the same people who can't control their own selves are the same who love to control the other ones.

I was just coaching a client on this very topic! Ladies please pay attention to what he is saying it is a very real thing. Insecurity is the reason people seek to be in control. Know your value and set your standards and remove yourself from toxic relationships!

As a man and a veteran I felt that control was necessary for my own life, but it often bled into my relationships, romantically and with my sons. I've now come to realize that in order to have a successful relationship I have to relinquish that power and work alongside my partner/significant other. We both are in control!

I'm not dealing with an insecure man ever again. The last one woke me up for sure! When they do not deal with their pain and insecurities, they could care less about who you are and what you need. They will destroy you because they have not healed and dealt with their demons. I learned this firsthand.

An insecure man is the most dangerous creature there is. Recognize crazy early. You hear me. TG Be Blessed!

Never let a man say......'You pay the mortgage and/or rent while he pays for the water and light bill.'..💯Real Talk Tony.

"He look like he grew up barefoot "😭😭😭

“Recognize crazy early”! -Tony Gaskins. Rip to the black detective woman in Montgomery al who lost here life due to her boyfriend killing her! This is serious

How TRUE. Confidence & leadership is CALM, SMOOTH & STEADY. IT DOESN'T NEED TO PROVE ANYTHING....IT ALREADY KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE. THEY DON'T NEED TO CONVINCE THEMSELVES OR ANYONE ELSE WHAT THEY ARE!!

Indeed. If you’re gentle/loving with the way you lead your household as a husband, it makes it so easy for the wife to submit. You cannot be controlling and overly aggressive and expect that woman not to eventually resent you. Lead with love. It works when that woman really loves you.

What I benefited; 1. A man and his emotional history is important for the present moment and his role in the relationship. 2. When he confides in You, know that the issues you'll be dealing with stem from that pain point. 3. Make sure he's getting treatment for that.

Strength and confidence is quiet. Bingo!

Great topic! They want to control due to their own insecurities and narcissistic personalities.. And of course Grown Boys!

Pretty Ricky is what they called him😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 (Martin voice)

I recently left my ex narcissistic boyfriend who was extremely controlling. I needed to hear this because I stood my ground when he tried to control me, but slowly allowed myself to become his "victim" and almost didn't make it. I'm so glad you have these videos. Please keep doing God's work.

I have dated a guy with large private and he was very insecure and I have dated a guy small and had a lot of confidence. I also think it's a lot of how you were parented and loved.

Reporting for class!

A grown boy likes to control...!

I am laughing so hard, Tony you said his momma never home and I know you fight like a grown man LOL!!!

“Your mama don’t be at home, You raised yaself, I know you fight like a man” 🤣🤣🤣 🚶🏾‍♂️

You’re speaking nothing but the truth, excellent teaching Tony

I thank God for delivering me from from a broken man. We were together for 3 1/2 years and for what I went through, it could have been so much worse. God protects babies and fools ; and since I'm too old to be anyone's baby, you know what's left.

Recognise crazy EARLY ☝🏾

This is so true... I'm 42 and Tony is helping me re think all of my foundational principles. I used to be so attracted to guys that lived in the gym... That I wouldn't look at anyone else... But I learned quickly that most guys that go hard like that are compensating because of the "small self esteem situation"....( MOST not ALL) Then I met some average, good looking nerd and baaaby.... Changed my whole thought process! Now as a single mom.. I'm just keeping my legs closed and trying to weed out the grown boys as quickly as possible so that I can eventually get married one more time. Thank you Tony for being dope! 🔥💚☀️💜✨💫

Control = insecurity and fear. Fear and love cannot exist in the same space. 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️

“Matter fact break your phone so it doesn’t accidentally Call me” 😂😂😂 OH MY LORDDD

This had me rolling 🤣😂😂. You are too Funny 😄

When you play with it, you feed it; you feed it. You’re fueling it when you play with it.” TG

I love how he was so ready to assist his wife 💕 I received the message of the video, but that small example of a husband gave me good vibes as well.

Omg!!! This is so truuuuuue!!!!! Man oh Man. Those quiet shy types are dangerous because they lack confidence in themselves. We build them up to devour us!!!!

Thank You For Sharing 🙏 I Met A guy 6 Yrs Ago I Fell In Love With Him.Not Knowing This Person Was Narcissistic This Person Started Belittling Me Controlling Me Horribly Emotionally Abusing Me.The Worst Thing I Did Was Sharing My Fears With Him Was Anxiety And Being Alone He In Return Started Punishing Me With The Silent Treatment. Controlling Men Are Very Highly Abusive.

It's not what you have, but it's what you do with it. Like your paycheck, how you prepare your food, clean your home ect...

Tony, you hit it on the head today. My husband left me because I refused to let him tell me who can be my friends. Totally innocent. Very transparent. He created a scenario that convinced himself he couldn't trust me. He said I was putting others in front of him because I would not give up the friendships.

Listening to tony makes me feel at peace and breathing fresh air. Thank you Lord

Tony I swear you are a crack-up LOL I just love it when you use whatever is on your desk for props OMG you are too much! Just purchased two of your books make it work and a woman's influence. I go back and forth reading the both of them 😀 absolutely enjoying them!

You are right! A man insecure who wants to control his wife in all the aspects of life, even what to talk, what to ask or not, don't love her, he don't see her devotion and qualities, will give her anytime silent treatment if she don't respect the training wich he is doing on her, and when he will have total control over her he will be borred of her, he does not respect her, if she leaves, he will replace her fast with another available to consolate him, he will play the victim blaming her, so finally his wife will be broken emotionaly and physicaly and her life will be ended earlier. Thank you for your comments, God bless you!

I've come to realize control is just a illusion. Be easy...cool calm and collected. Be blessed tribe😇

Tony you crack me up! You and those props!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Tony, just want to say thank you again. Your testimony of how you’ve changed into the man of God you are today is SO encouraging and brings hope to so many of us. God is raising up so many for His kingdom and I choose to be apart of what He’s doing in the earth. Never settling. Waiting for God’s ordained choice and continuing to be the woman God predestined me to be. Marriage is for His glory and Kingdom after all. Be blessed. 🙏🏽

What about a man would tries to manipulate you to control you? That mental control that felt almost like a little jealousy thrown in there to. Everytime I bought something or got something, he would start plotting to get one better. That was wasted time.

Insecure men and women are both dangerous Tony. I refuse to be around any man or woman that's not secure in themselves. By the way Thanks a lot for your videos too, they are very therapeutic.

My friend always told me NEVER trust a man with pretty eyes. 🥴🤣

The pen blew me......... 🥴😂

I got my ☕. Ready to learn. I was married to the most controlling insecure man.

Power will never challenges power, it's very gentle always.

I like the 30 mins too but I love the hour long ones because you give advice and scenarios! Needless to say, your videos are my Friday fun nights lol

The girl that said that to you said that cuz SHE wanted YOU but knew she DIDN'T stand a chance with you so she put that on YOU to make HER feel BETTER about herself. Men do that dumb CRAP to women TOO!! Smh

“He wants this but the Lord gave him that .” 💀

Lmaooooo!!! Every time he picked that card up with the grizzly bear on it, I LOST IT!!!! I love that you keep it real!

This is so true... I recently had a guy I'd been dealing with for 2 years abruptly end things bc i dared to question him and his lie.... I ended up being right about him lying, but he was more pissed thag I dared to question him, but he'd regularly question ME... he straight told me he liked being in control and he told me without telling me he was insecure... I naively thought I could nurture him into the person I saw him as being, but that was mistake... he is who he is and only he can change that... thank you for your wise words

"Awwww u gotta daddy!!!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is confirmation! When I was dealing with it and tried to call it out I was disrespectful and wasn’t allowing him to lead. I’m so glad I let it go! It’s not worth it at all!! Especially when they don’t want help!!

Ooommgggg Tony you shocked me with this message. You wasn’t playing 😂

As someone who tries to deal with my insecurities, I want to have control of my own life, and everything effecting me. I don’t want to control anyone, I don’t desire to control women, they do what they want. I just don’t let people cross a line, or when someone’s pushing my line, i will push back and do everything I can to build a wall around that line. I’m down to verbally discuss stuff, just don’t force me into anything, I’ll double down to protect myself.

I come hear for the messages & the laughterrrrrrrrrrrrrrr🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣when I tellllll youuuuuuu🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yeah my husband tried that a few times. He was shock that I was ready for every time he tried. 1. When we first got married he started arguing every day for no reason at all. He did this in front my family and always act like we were the best couple in front his family. I asked him what was his real problem and he could not tell me. So I never answered him when he started arguing. My dad tried to ask him what was wrong. I told my dad, do not worry about him just let him vent. He just feel less than a man that has to live in your house because he used to doing for himself and I wont let him do his illegal things to get us upon our feet. You know what I mean dad, the things mom used to let you do. I wont stand for it one moment of our life and he mad about it. My dad ran off so fast, because I shut him down quick. I waited until his family wanted to take a family trip to his moms house. His mom called and told me that she see I has the power and asked if she could she finally see her son. I told her, yes if I could come also. I did not ask her if they would treat me better when I get there or nothing, because the things they sent me through was entertaining to me. It shock them that I always win the arguments, by telling him lets go. I never argued back, I would just calmly tell them what their real problem is and walk away. So when we got there, we were having a great time and no one had said anything wrong to me. I waited until they all were laughing like they are the perfect family and started arguing with my husband and he looked at me like I was crazy because he had never seen me yell at all. He thought I was the coolest wife who will always except him arguing and never answer him. He thought he had a great life ahead, like I wanted to live a life where I let him go off whenever he wants and make excuses for why he acting that way. His mom started asking me what is wrong with me. No one could understand what the argument was really about. I told her, your son here has started an argument in my home at least once a week for the full year we have been married but every time he is around his family, he wants to act like we in a perfect marriage. I figured that he need to know how I feel when he makes me look bad in front my family, who is helping him, by letting them live in their house at no charge, until he gets on his feet. She tried to start arguing with me about messing up their perfect family time until my step father- in- law stepped in. He said, did you ever listen to him about what any of his arguments was about. I said yes, he was arguing about the soap powder we bought. My family is big and my mother used our soap powder all in one day to do all the laundry in the house, even ours. We pay no bills and do not pay for food, yet he used one full box of cereal all in one bowl so my siblings had no breakfast before they went to school one day. My dad fussed at me about what he did. He told me about all the boxes that were on top the fridge and I had to tell him they were empty. He argued with me about them being empty and why were they up there. I understand all of his arguments but he need to learn how to talk to me about the problem so I can fix them quietly. His step dad took him to the side and I can hear he saying, as they walked away, soap powder brah. My husband never argued in my parents house again after that. He started doing the laundry, because he realize my mom did not know how to do it right. She used soap powder until even the rinse still had soap suds in it. He started check all boxes of cereal on the fridge to make sure the ones that was empty were thrown away and he bought more to make sure they were full.

was with my ex for 37 years (34 married) he was very very insecure. He did all the bad things Tony described, always fought with other people, put his hands on them, cheated, lied, controlled, I couldn't talk to other men, I couldn't have girlfriends, Sex had to be a lot or he made the day miserable, it was a living hell. TG is a hero!

Wait wait wait let me rewind to see Tony reenactment 😂

....if you play with a insecure man, you gon' get laid down, you gon' meet the Lord early...A insecure man is the, most, dangerous, thing, on, the, face, of, the, earth..." 😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

Men manifest insecurities when they are infertile and that makes them controlling as well.

A controlling man is an insecure & fearful male. Tony is speaking the truth. Ladies, RUN! 👌🏾

Yes, sir do tell Tony, I appreciate you speaking on such topics, 📝✍🏾️... Blessed Tribe 💜🙏🏾 Go! Go! Gadget neck.... lawrdt a Massi, I can't 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Tony, I know someone like this who is not a gangster and has not come from poverty and came from a two parent household. The level of insecurity that this man has is disgusting.I really wish I could open a family members eyes so she could see exactly what’s going on.

You’re going to meet the Lord early......yep so true don’t neglect emotional distress also causes physical ailments as well.

Men operate from fear & insecurities! I didn’t know that...

This man tony is the best, I can’t listen to nobody else on KZfaq beside tony. He’s the truth and he the realest...

This is so good for women who come from broken homes. I really hope it helps other women just as much as it has helped me.

🤣🤣🤣 "You not fin to split my eye with that hard fist."

Appreciate the transparency brotha! This video gave me clarity.

Thank you for you truth and honesty. I know their are a few good men left in the world. Me and my brother were bullied when we were younger. We were good kids and didn’t like to fight. I became violent and defensive for a long time. Thank God I am growing and healing.

I just love the transparency.

I've never understood why men locker rooms/gyms don't have more privacy It's strange to me. Men deserve privacy too.

My boss is 5 feet tall and straight out the box tried talking to me any kind of way. I’m a New York City Bronx girl so He quickly learned I wasn’t having it. That was 7 years ago and we’ve literally been best friends ever since. Just like any shark, punch it in the nose and it folds like a flower.

😂😂😂😂swinging that thing 😂😂😂😂

I love all your stories Tony. You got me cracking up. 😂😂

I’m still hurting, you are helping me. I’m on the right track . 🙏🏾 Thank you. FYI ladies do relate to pain from the past

I'm just here laughing. Tony can teach you something and have you in stitches.

"Oh you gotta daddy, oh you gotta daddy"))) shove! Hahaha!!!!! LOL!!!!! Why is Tony so funny. I wonder if Sheri thinks Tony is funny??

YOU ARE SO WISE, THANK YOU FOR THIS

I love your thoroughness and honesty!

"...you not finna pop one o' these bumps with that Hard FIST!!..." 😊😀😁😁💯💯💯💯

Amen!... Another Jewel 💎 of wisdom. Thank you 🙏🏾 Mr. Gaskins.

Thank you for your time Tony. Good message. Be blessed.

You better preach!! On point!! Thank you!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

Thank you Tony for your videos I'm 49 and still learning.

Then end of this video 😂. It's so true & sad, but the way the message is delivered is awesome.

This video was on point! Makes so much sense.

Real talk Tony Gaskins! 💯💯💯

So Candid & Heartfelt. So True... He summed up the Control issue so beautifully. TG, Blessings 2 U & Urs Always💯🙏🏾

When you opened that lotion bottle 🧴 lol I died!!! There is No one like you Tony!!! You are so funny! I love this guy!!!🤣🤣

I’m tryna be serious and listen to this message but Tony doing that with his neck took me out 🤣🤣 good message sir !

Thank you so much Tony for these pearls of wisdom ! May God bless you and your family as you are helping many ignorant women!

"Your strength is in your gentleness"--- 1:15 Yes! That's COUNTER INTUITIVE but true. Also, the calmest part of a lake is also the deepest part of the lake!

ABSOLUTELY REAL TALK... ENJOY REST OF YOUR DAY... BE BLESSED

The thing is women feel they can change a man because they're special. Thank you for this. I laughed so hard.