Step 1: SAY you want nice guys. Step 2: GO for bad boys. Step 3: ASK where have all the good ones have gone. Step 4: BLAME men.

Most Alpha thing you can do is be yourself unapologetically. If she doesn't like you it's her loss. Find someone who likes you period

One of the truest things I’ve ever heard was, “A guy wants a good girl who’s only bad for him. A girl wants a bad boy who’s only good to her.”

“Where are all the nice guys???” They’re over there, in the friend zone, right where you put them ladies…

Everybody already knows this. The problem is the whining and complaining after making said choice then blaming a majority of men for their experiences

Married three times, admittedly a nice guy. Married 14 years, 16 years and three. I am 73. All good women but as soon as they got complacent, bored or forgot their responsibility no fights I just left with car and my clothes. They were welcome to have everything else. The 1st one became a drug addict. The 2nd one was almost successful committing suicide. The 3rd one has sent over a 125 memes in the past year and a 1/2 lamenting her loss. Not one of them thought to say they were sorry that they didn't hold up their sign of the bargain. Narcissism, it's a plague in our Is American culture.

Being a bad , abusive man is a turn on for a lot of the broken women we have nowdays

Women who want those "Benefits" from the Bad guy.... often leave heartbroken, cold, now wanting the nice guy, and as a single mom

As I have always said women seek resources more than love. They are the ultimate pragmatists. When are we ever going to learn this most valuable lesson?

The brutal truth. Men, stop putting women on a pedestal and see them how they are.

As a self recovering "nice guy", I really wish women stopped lying to men and telling them they value nice traits over the other stuff they actually look for. I'm really glad I came across this video because I love the analogy of the two jobs you give. Some reading material I highly suggest is No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr Robert Glover. A fantastic read

My successes with women SIGNIFICANTLY increased the moment I stopped listening to what they said they wanted from men and started looking at the men that they were fvcking.

The thing is, the "asshole" guys end up having so much choices, they rarely stay loyal. And after getting traumatised by toxic guys is when girls start appreciating the "nice guys."

Another reason a lot of women date “assholes” is men that have the desired traits are more likely to be disagreeable and confident to the point of cocky. Successful men are not people pleasures. They go their own way and aren’t afraid to step on toes.

Bottom line: Don’t be completely honest. Act like you don’t care, even if you do. Resist giving validation/attention/time despite wanting to and sincerely loving them. Act like you have one foot out the door. Act like women are daily attempting to rape you, even though you are loyal and would never cheat. Never reveal your true feelings for her. Once they know, it’s over.

I watched a video of a girl admitting that she wanted to date a drug dealer over a guy that worked at FedEx. At some point as a man you have to admit to what you are seeing in front of you and that women are what they are and treat them accordingly.

Men love unconditionally Women love opportunistically

Its odd because practically every woman's dating profile states kindness, honesty, and loyalty as what they are looking for. But that is only after you meet the criteria of providing the other more exciting attributes that they conveniently leave out of their profiles so that they don't come off as gold diggers. I question if it is all worth it or not, and I think not.

The key problem is not that women (especially young/hot women) chose jerks over nice guys. The problem is that by doing so they CREATE jerks. By rewarding the toxic behavior of jerks with sex, women perpetuate toxic attitudes in those jerks and simultaneously they incentivize otherwise nice men to become jerks. And while there're lots of pro-feminist articles out there making compelling cases on why men should stop being jerks, I see very little articles by feminists asking young women to stop creating and perpetuating jerk behavior in men.

The best thing any man can do is say no to a woman. By saying no, you gain her respect. If she responds with an insult, cut her off.

Women say one thing. But deep down they really want the guy that treats them with indifference. Once their beauty fades a little bit, then they "Settle" for the nice guy. Work on yourselves, you can never go wrong with that.

This would be hilarious if wasn't for the fact that most young boys are lied to throughout their youth and end up struggling thru self doubt, depression and hopelessness when they find the lies they've been told, turn out to be incompatible with today's reality. Many young men have been lost thru these lies fed to them by people they trusted. This truth needs to made common knowledge.

The problem with this analysis is that I have personally known many dozens of women who may have chosen men based upon visceral attraction, excitement and emotional thrill factor, but these same men provided nothing monetary, we’re not high earners, often leeched off the women and we’re physically/emotionally abusive. So based upon in depth, broad experience, I would say that certain women of all ages, class, education levels and social status are simply drawn to classic bad boys.

There is nothing wrong with being nice. Just also have self-respect. Going out of your way to act super 'nice' to her all the time won't change the outcome. She's either into you, or she isn't.

I always say you can't beat money or looks. I was raised by a single mother who believed in her sons being nice guys so I overly respected women in interactions my whole life. My mother was wrong. Totally screws up the sex equation and it makes you lose respect for women as well. It can make you look at them like they are just soulless animals who live on a lower plane.

Imagine. A woman is willing to dispense with intelligence, loyalty and kindness. It boggles my mind. I spend my whole life trying to be intelligent, loyal and kind. Pretty much sums up the state of affairs.

"They're not choosing assholes... they're choosing good looking, high earning, interesting and exciting lifestyle providers" that's a great summary there! There's a severe disconnect in what men and women value compared to what they think each other values. The nature versus nurture debate will continue to rage, but the reality is that women and men won't be happy if they don't understand these fundamental differences.

A fact that, i personally feel, is often overlooked is, that it is not forcefully an either-or-choice, between nice guys and dating material in their life. The values nice guys can provide are just completely accessible by friendship, while s*x-relevant values like looks, health and fitness are ONLY accessible by romance. So if she needs good advice, she doesn't need to date the most intelligent guy, she can just befriend and call him, when advice is needed. If she wants to laugh she can just befriend the funniest guy and call him to make her laugh and so on. So nice guys DO offer values, but they are accessible without romancing them. But to be fair (and this is also often overlooked), it's not actually a "woman-issue". Guys choose exactly the same way. They will never romance a woman just because she's intelligent or funny, without finding her physically attractive.

You nailed it! 10/10! This analogy with bosses is absolutely brilliant, in fact it's so easy to understand a woman if you think of her as an employee and a man as an employer!

"The way things actually are." Okay. The way things actually are is, they choose males who beat on them, cheat on them, mock their dreams and ambitions, expect her to bail him out of jail a few times per year because he just "can't seem to stay out of bar fights," hit on their hot friends and family members, generally treat them like s**t and, if they survive that string of relationships ( they often don't)THEN they come slinking their battered bodies and psyches up on the men they waltzed right past for decades with some version of "if I had been smart, I would have been looking for a guy like you," and expect those men to pick up the pieces of whatever is left of them. It's generally too late by then. Those men have been snatched up by wiser women who knew earlier on that a bad BOY can never really measure up to an honorable MAN in any way that really matters. It is a pattern of behavior actual grown men have lost interest in pretending to respect. It is never a man's job to make up for a woman's bad choices.

Well done. And yes, a first regarding the explanation. You have truly distinguished yourself...several times, this being one of them. Thank you.

Pretty much agree. I've got a lot of experience. I've led singles groups and really studied this stuff. I think what you're saying is true by and large but let's say the research you used might be a tad "politically correct". Robin Norwood in her book "women who love too much" counselled many, many women who were ending up with the "bad guy" and getting abused while friend-zoneing the good guys. They had this instinct that caused them to find a bad guy and "If I love him enough he will change". Their own parents had dysfunctional marriages and so that, for them, was "the norm". They were not falling in love properly. The "bad guy" was incredibly sexy to them. They could not even get aroused by a "good guy" (and I don't mean a "people-pleasing nice guy" which is something different, I mean a "normal dude" stable, dependable and all that). These relationships were "instant attraction", crazy emotion type which is not psychologically normal for women. She counselled them to spend time with the good guy even if they were not initially attracted so they natural system (which is to fall in love slowly, "warming up like an ovan" in the words of John Gray) could come into effect. It worked. In time these women met great men and ended up in happy families. The truth of what you say is because people that don't care are often good at making money and being successful. It's a lot easier to succeed in life dishonestly than honestly because you "cheat" to get further and it works. So yes, he has all the flashy stuff and the image. And he gets the girl because of the dynamics you have described. I have my own theory though I've never been able to prove it. Women often mistake evil for strength.

They're hormonially minded, not sober minded. They don't look in a panoramic lens, they look at what is only temporary. But just wait for the long haul.

My issue has always been giving women too much credit, assuming they can logically see traits and pluses when I reality you have to spoon feed and babysit their fantasies . The bigger complaint is society claims this isn’t the dynamics of male female interaction, when it is. If people knew this growing up they’re have far less heartache. But many women don’t accept their own traits and won’t admit it so it becomes a shallow unfulfilling game of who can out manipulate who And its something only lesser people want to engage in

I really appreciate how direct and brutally honest you are. Its so helpful after you get over the initial anger. Thank you for the real info man!

I've heard this argument countless times and the fact for me remains the same, even though women are with assholes for what they offer and not who they are it doesn't make it any better. Assholes are assholes because they don't care for the wellbeing of others (hers included). And not only does she know all this but she'd also be willing to turn a blind eye (God forbid even assist in his acts of barbarity) so long as there is power and provisions in it for her. She's basically just exploiting the asshole to obtain provisions off him, and also because he's an asshole she likely doesn't even love him, because if she did that goes to say alot about the kind of person she is, which is likely a horrible person herself. So, either way, in choosing the asshole she's confirmed whether it's using him for what he gives till there's nothing left, or she actually loves him for the dreadful man he is, she herself is a dreadful person. I am sorry but there is no way of rationalising this down to anything acceptable, innocent, or good; not unless we're willing to turn our backs on every moral we have of not only being better kinder more loving people, but also in making the world a better, kinder more loving place to live... I don't want to believe it but maybe community is right, maybe women are fundamentally bad. The world is becoming a seriously sader place...

I appreciate you telling guys the things that women SHOULD tell us but don't have the guts to (or strategically don't do). The message I'm getting from this video is not "be an asshole and you'll get women", but in fact, "be more concerned about becoming attractive to women than being nice". I wish I had learned that when I was much younger. I sort of resigned myself to not being that attractive and basically didn't date hardly anyone as a result until I met my wife at age 26, and even then, we only ended up together because she showed obvious interest in me. I've been learning since then that attractiveness isn't just about your God-given looks, but there's many other things you can do to become more attractive.

For those of us that remember life before cellphones/internet in the schools, being a nice guy actually worked because women’s hypergamy was limited to whomever you allowed to enter your social sphere. Infinite scrolling triggers women’s hypergamy, capturing and programming them to believe that there is always something better coming up next. Correction; a friend corrected me recently. Apparently, I wasn’t a “nice” guy due to fact I would fight the ‘badboy’. So either by fear or respect, the ‘badboy’ would know to stay away from what was mine. This made me a ‘good dude’, which does have a niche in the dating pool.

You've explained this in a way that has completely shifted my world view...thank you.

A wise man once said, "Can't nobody fool you if you ain't payin' 'em no attention!" I'm a nice guy, but I've stopped caring what traits the majority of women value. I focus on me, and if, while I'm living my life, I meet someone who wants to live it with me, then maybe I'll let her in. In the meantime, I'm loving and raising my youngest daughter, and going my own way the rest of the time!

I agree entirely. The disconnect occurs because men are gaslit into thinking niceness is actually important to women, often by women themselves. Their revealed preferences are vastly difference than their stated preferences. But most men learn that offering financial resources, height, and good looks are far more important than offering loyalty, intelligence, or niceness.

You should have also discussed FEEDBACK-LOOP effects: The extremely attractive, high-value men notice that they are getting more attention from women and thus "scale down" their loyalty and niceness (because they CAN).

That was actually quite an eye opening video for me. You analogy with the job market is spot on i think.

It is no wonder our ancestors mostly did not allow women to choose their own husbands. If left to their own peril, women will reward the kind of man that is not ideal for social order and collective unity.

I learnt this the hard way. I wish I could go back in time where I was miserable because I had no clues why things happened the way they did.

Excellent way of breaking it down 🙌

Very well said King. Most men actually listen to what women see versus what they actually sell. Just subscribed, notifications bell on!!!

Many thanks for this eloquent explanation ❤

This is a Super Great Video! - Excellent analogies.

My wife comes from rural Thailand and has gone through immense hardship. She LOVES an intelligent, loyal nice guy.

Great video and analogy. Makes a lot of sense.

This really puts things in perspective! Thanks!

To be honest with you, I really don’t care anymore. I am a genuinely nice person and I don’t want a woman who doesn’t appreciate me. It really doesn’t matter. I think us guys need to quit being down on ourselves about damaged women not appreciating us.

I just found your channel and I am happy to see that you bring some fresh insights into the gender debate. I am well know blogger in the german men's rights sphere for years and I am very disappointed to see that 99% of all available content is only copied and repeated over theses years. I can assure you, that you present new stuff in many videos and I would really like to encourage you to continue with your mission.

Best video yet! Keep up the good work!

This was a very fresh perspective on this concept! It explains a lot to me. I am in fact a nice, intelligent, compassionate, and communicative guy... However, I am likely of average attractiveness, and am definitely an average earner. It makes sense to me that my soft-traits ARE desirable to women, but NOT without also being accompanied by those other more quantitative qualities. I also think it speaks to why women want relationships, and it is not -primarily- for emotional companionship, but more for lifestyle and security. Nice guys like me could hem-haw over that indefinitely, or, just understand it, accept it, and adapt to it to whatever degree it matters to us personally. Really appreciated this video!

Women before internet usually had only a small pool of guys to choose from which may not have included a single “high value male.

The analogies are very often spot on in this channel. Really helps explain things in a more relatable manner. Good job doc.

This is the best explanation I've ever seen for why what women say they want and actually go for is so different. They do want those things...it's just not a priority. The job analogy is perfect.

I appreciate your videos for 2 things: 1. Being informative and backing it with facts! 2. For being respectful of the viewer's valuable time, by keeping your videos concise, to the point, in short and easy to watch 10 minute videos! So, thank you for that!

Doctor, when I was a kid back in the early 1960s, there was an amazing TV Show called Fractured Fairy Tales. It always featured a story with a moral or psychologic message that humorously slapped you upside the head. You are really excellent at painting a picture that is truly epic. You have a way of illuminating problems and situations that is incredibly unique, and highly intelligent. Give your channel time to grow Doctor, because you have a true gift which in this day and age is priceless. As you are aware nothing happens overnight, but having watched some of your early videos I can attest to the fact your are growing more comfortable, and confident in your delivery. Thats great, because you Sir are truly extraordinary at this!

Excellent presentation. Thanks.

Saw your interview with Rich Cooper. You’re a great blend of psychology and red pill lens. Everything you say is well put and eloquent.

Great content Orion!

It does clear some things up and reaffirms my desire to just stay single.

Nice bosses are often nice because they don't have a lot of employees, the more employees they have the more distant and impersonal they will become because you're "just another employee". I've worked for small companies and big companies and I completely understand why a lot of men with options aren't nice. My guess is that the nice guys who have a lot to offer settle quite quickly because they don't want to be on the market too long, so the men who prefer to have a lot of partners stay on the market longer and skew perceptions. It's like men believing that every woman has been with hundreds of men because they and their friends have slept with several women that boast these numbers, but it's simply because these women interact with more men that more men will believe that all women are like these few women.

LMAO to tears... It would actually be funny if it wasn't so tragic. I was punished HAAAARD by someone I had a relationship with some years ago. The degree of irrationality and sabotage was absolute lunacy. Constantly fabricating conflict and precipitating crisis. I put up with SO MUCH SHIT. My privacy violated, phone tapped, my reputation destroyed through lies and triangulating. I wish I had found your channel back then, it would have saved me quite a lot of suffering. I knew all along I had to leave, but the stalking and love-bombing post crashing would bring me back every time. My weakness was wanting affection, and the sex was wild, but eventually toxic. I'm so glad you are putting this content out, a lot of people really need it.

Very interesting points. Thank you Doctor for this video. I'm myself a nice guy. I think also that nice guys may look hypocrite, false, weak or too passive, while the asshole may look more natural, active, and stronger. Plus all that was said. Also if you sell yourself for too low, people may think that your value is too low and that they deserve better than you. They will abuse you and throw you.

Intelligence being thrown out is really a strange one to me, as it's a huge factor in how much a guy is capable of providing resources for a woman- lmao Loyalty definitely being the next strangest thing to throw out. I guess the reality is that perhaps guys with the worst attitudes or temperaments also happen to be the ones most likely to hit the gym for aesthetics or the ones that were born attractive never had to develop a likeable personality.

That was amazing 🤩

Subscribed! Hope your channel grows. Binging your videos, so intelligent!

This is pure gold. Thank you

I partially agree.. I don't believe that kindness is a "nice guy" trait; going through life without boundaries, always expecting something in return for being "NICE" and being a "yes man", is. There's honesty in being genuinely kind.

i was a handheldless kissless virgin until I was 27. Some day I had a shit/stressful day at work and got into an argument with my mom on the phone, so family issues on top of it. I had a date that day and I didn't wanna cancel (cause nice guy, I respect her time and agreements), so I showed up but I was visibly pissed and dismissive. I was quite angry and unenthusiastic, didn't talk much and I ended the date early. After the date I felt even more like garbage cause I wasn't myself and I was a dick to a random girl who did nothing wrong. But next day, to my surprise she messages me TWICE that she wants to meet again, I'm like ok, you wanna meet in town? She says "nah, just come to my place". And uh...we've been together for almost a year now. Tried to be a good/nice guy all my life but the one time I was a total asshole it worked instantly. Women are attracted to asshole personalities, man. They just are.

Very good advice!! I like and appreciate your helpful channel!! :)

Amazing explanation👌🏻

Dude, you made me realise how modern prostitution works😮

The key is men listen to what women SAY they want, and that road leads to misery. “Nice guys” hear a woman complain “Why can’t I find a nice guy… like you!” and act on it, not realizing the unspoken qualifier of “that I think is smoking hot.”

Well said I like the analogy!

That metaphor is on point man

What constitutes of providing an "interesting lifestyle"? I feel like what I consider fun and what they consider fun don't line up which is why I'm constantly referred to as boring

No one has explained this better than you!!

That explains it perfectly. Thank you

Excellent content. I’m 58 and have been married for 19 years. I have worked through this (my three dominant characteristics are loyalty, kindness, and intelligence) and because I have, I’ve increased my income and influence. I used to struggle in relationships with women (no surprise there), so the self-work has been long and difficult, yet it is fulfilling to be better. Even though I love my wife, I can’t say I’m UNhappy when women in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s flirt with me now. It was surprising when it started to happen; however, now I know why…and I’m OK with it.

Very nice explanation and analogy! I also like the fact that the video is not too long, just straight to the point.

In my late 20’s, I decided to reinvent myself. I saved my money, I worked out, jogged, and lost weight. I bought a new truck. I also decided to become a jerk. There was a hot woman who played volleyball with us but she had a boyfriend who was a doctor. I used a strategy that was recommended by a friend. If you want to date a hot woman, take her not so hot friend on a great date. So I asked out her friend and I took her to a concert inside a theme park. That really got the attention of not just one hot woman but all of the single women were now looking at me differently and I scored big time. I lost all interest in that first hottie and was dating several other women who had other attributes that I found attractive. That original hottie tried to make a play for me at a party but I wasn’t interested. She was a little too hypergamous for me.

This helped clarify things, thanks.

On point as usual doc.

The problem is that most men never get a fair shake because they either had an absent or a weak father. Men are natural problem solvers. Give them the rules, and it's game on. Men raised by women however, are at a significant disadvantage. Their own mother will give them a false list of things to optimize for. By the time these boys turn into men, it may be too late for them to ever sort out the error. That is why red-pill content is so valuable. There are a some men who seem to see the truth from the very beginning. These men are truly blessed.

I respectfully disagree... there are women who go for "bad boys" who have nothing to offer materially and make them suffer. I know such a woman who had a relationship like that: she was more financially successful than him, she was hardworking, polite and respectful, he cheated on her, made her suffer and she returned to him. While at the same time, I know women who have or "had" the right package with a great dude, respectful guy who could provide and was a gentleman to them, and whom they left. What you said is at least to my experience, half true, but there are many women who go for guys who offer a big fat zero while the benefits are elsewhere. Men do it too by the way.

welll said! thank you for everything!

Once Again. Mind Blown. Thanks

If you are ever going to write a book, I suggest the title to be "It is what it is"!

I had actually heard from a female psychologist that women pick "assholes", because nice guys are boring. Which doesn't mean that you should be an asshole. However, nice guys need to focus less on being a yes man and focus more on standing up for their own opinions. Not immediately replying to messages etc. So, she's basically saying let her chase you.

Interesting take and it makes more sense than any other take on the subject 🤔

King you're a master!! Deep analogue.

i'd say this is correct, women's prioritization on physical appearance cannot be understated. The typical women would rather have a tall, handsome fella who works a mediocre job over a unattractive, short, high income, high emotional intelligence man. It's just how it is. Men are the same, they go for the cute barista over middle-aged career women etc...

However, later in life it seems to me that those factors, kindness, loyalty and emotional availability come into play. Unfortunately by that time the men have either given up, MGTOW, or adopt the "bad boy" mantra. Hence older women's hue and cry for the scarcity of "good men".

This channel is a golden nugget for Men. Glad i found it.

Good stuff doc