Mal isn't a "good guy" in the same way that Han Solo is not a "good guy" at least before he gets in with the rebel alliance. They work outside the law and that inherently makes them sketchy. But the whole point of Firefly is that the lines between good and bad look different depending on what perspective you take. Like when Mal points out that people who have statues erected of them were usually sons of bitches in one way or another or that writing history is a lot about covering up the truth. There are good aspects to unification and good aspects to independence in Firefly but the government has become overpowered. Anyway, damn good show and fuck fox for canceling it.

The argument for alliance being the "good guys" collapses once you see the serenity movie.

So, the word 'evil' is getting used a lot in the comments. Let's use some examples: *1. Honour-bound:* A soldier calls an airstrike on a building, after someone has tried to ensure that there is no other way to resolve the conflict, and that if they do not do it, more harm will happen to innocent people. The strike kills the targets, and it turns out that a bunch of children were also killed. The soldier feels guilt, and tries to make sure that mistake never happens again. If a chance arises to avoid collateral damage, he will take it, even if it means risking a worse crime being committed by the enemies who will escape, because it is wrong to kill innocents. *2. Pragmatic:* The soldier calls the airstrike. He's aware that there's a possibility of collateral damage, but decides that it's a risk that must be taken, and that the consequences of doing it will be worse. He feels deep regret for the collateral damage, but rationalises that it had to be done. If a chance arises to avoid collateral, he will weigh up the risks and decide if the victory is really worth the brutality. *3.Cold:* The soldier calls the airstrike, expecting that the children will die, but simply not caring because they are not part of his objective. He puts the blame on the enemy for being in a building with innocents, and goes ahead without a second thought. If the chance arises, he will only call off the strike if he thinks it will endanger his longer-term objectives. *4. Evil:* The soldier calls the airstrike, knowing that it will kill the children and being glad for the opportunity to send a message to his enemies. He values the chance to show his ruthlessness and to put terror into the local population. Even if a chance arose to avoid the collateral damage, he would not take it, and might bring forward the attack to avoid any innocents escaping. In all instances (so long as no chance arises to avoid collateral), the strike kills the bad guys and a bunch of children. The outcome is the same, but the intention is different. I'd say Kaylee is 1.5; Mal is 2.3; Jayne is about 2.8; the Alliance are about 3.2, and someone like Nishka is a definite 4.

I would say they're not "the good guys", but they're not really villains, either. They're just petty criminals who used to be soldiers and can't let go of the fact that they lost. And I love them for that; it made for great television.

Noone.Hates.On Firefly. NO-ONE! I DECLARE A WAR AGAINST THE NEW GUY!

But after the events of the movie, it's very apparent that their are no "good guys" anywhere in the 'verse.

better a dangerous freedom then an oppressive peace

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the whole point of Alliance vs brown coats wasn't about right and wrong, but the trade off between freedom and order. On one hand you had the fringe territories where life was hard and short, but you had the freedom to live your life however you wanted as long as long as you didn't piss everyone off and get shot in the face. On the other hand you have the Alliance which takes care of it's citizens and managed to eliminate crime, poverty, and illness. However the cost of such prosperity was that the government had to run every aspect of your life.

Dont you love how that plaid hipster college guy is ripping on Kaylee for being a "self taught" mechanic as though that were bad? despite her being the best mechanic in the verce in all! Talk about a college snob, no wonder he like the Alience.

River's abilities didn't grow each episode -- but rather, each episode more about her was revealed. You know, like they do it good stories.

The second episode, "The Train Job" was written specifically that while they're morally ambiguous, they're still decent people.

before video "ok your going to have to convince me of this" after video "you failed"

One word... Miranda.

I don't know if this has been pointed out yet but River wasn't kidnapped by the Alliance, she was enrolled in one of their schools that (supposedly) was for advanced students after the parents had searched for a school best suited for how intelligent she was. She didn't start out with the extrasensory abilities, she was just extremely intelligent.

This why the series was so good! All of the crew had visible flaws, but were still badass. This makes viewers not only project themselves onto the characters, but also relate to them in that they were also non-perfect human beings.

Uhhhh, hello, did they forget to mention Reavers? Thanks, Space Obama!

The Operative: I'm sorry. If your quarry goes to ground, leave no ground to go to. You should have taken my offer. Or did you think none of this was your fault? Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I don't murder children. The Operative: I do. If I have to. Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Why? Do you even know why they sent you? The Operative: It's not my place to ask. I believe in something greater than myself. A better world. A world without sin. Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: So me and mine gotta lay down and die... so you can live in your better world? The Operative: I'm not going to live there. There's no place for me there... any more than there is for you. Malcolm... I'm a monster.What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done. See the alliance wants to establish complete control, and any one who doesn't play by their rules has no place in their world. Fascism, Marxism, Oligarchy, what ever you want to call it...it's not freedom.

PLEASE. The Alliance didn't experiment on River because she had powers, they GAVE her powers by experimenting on her. Basically TORTURING her. And what about the Reavers' origins?! sounds pretty gorram evil to me

Why is everyone hating on New Guy? This video was really good.

wow cracked, you managed to figure out that the browncoats were based on the confederates. Sure am glad that Joss and crew didn't discuss that in the DVD special features for the series and again for the movie or we firefly fans may never have known. Bravo! can't wait for next weeks topic about how star-trek is basically Oregon trail in space, or how star-wars is the basic "journey of the hero" story. i know lets discus how "Avatar" is the same plot from dances with wolves and Pocahontas.

Didn't the alliance create river's mind-stuff? Also didn't the alliance create the reavers?

This doesn't prove that The Alliance were the good guys. It just proves that The Alliance was analogous to the US government.

curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal, cracked

the problem with the alliance was not how they treated the core worlds, it was how they abandoned the people they sent to the outer worlds, while still expecting them to loyal subjects. It was about the failures of a centralized government. Yes, in the core worlds the alliance was mostly good, but in the outer worlds it was the brown coats who were the good guys sticking up for the people. The power vacuum was most likely the result of the alliance defeating the brown coats and leaving the outer worlds without their minutemen.

The Alliance weren't monitoring River's unchecked natural psychic powers, they gave her psychic powers to turn her into a weapon. She was a genius to begin with, which is why they experimented on her in the first place and messed up her mind to make her into an assassin. It's kinda a huge point in the series...

The Alliance basically killed Miranda and made the reapers

Joss even says in the commentary that he intended to show that the Alliance wasn't inherently evil but had it's fair share of corruption. I feel he did that well as I thought the very same thing before actually rewatching the movie with commentary turned on.

I hear they considered titling this video "Light Fuse and Run Away."

Literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard argued. Almost as bad as Scar being good.

Mal is an antihero. Pretty much a textbook example of it too. Not a straight up bad guy.

1) "Building space station and space navies and stacks of medicine" Actually, the hardly ever share that medicine and wont' even leave a regiment of police officers to help the town from where it was stolen. Also the space stations with state of the art facilities? Won't even help a DYING man (Ep. Safe) just because the station isn't a hospital for anyone (show proper documents and you'll get treated though) 2) All the people running the worlds that, after the war, should be under alliance control - how the hell is the alliance making it better? 3) There are various hints that Mal got a formal education (Rime of the Ancient Mariner) 4) As far as River being Akira - It's implied that they gave her powers in an attempt to create a bio weapon, not the other way around. If you're going to make a case against a show, please at least get people who know the show, it's all I ask.

BLASPHEMY! And entirely fascinating. I LOVED it. That's one (of countless) reasons Firefly is the greatest tv show ever; the characters (mostly) cannot be pigeon-holed into 'good' and 'bad' categories.

Cracked could make a case for Hitler being the underdog hero of the 20th century by only selectively highlighting certain points.

Personal Theory: I believe that the show DollHouse is a firefly prequel that shows how the Earth that Was got used up. The Blue Sun agency is trying to make River a Doll.

When your argument relies on the premise "kidnapping and torturing a teenaged girl is okay sometimes", it is no longer valid.

So... why does everybody hate him? It feels like everybody hates the new guy just because they call him "the new guy". Basically I'm comparing you all to teenagers hazing the new kid in highschool. Which is a tradition, I have never fully understood.

3:57 River wasn't born with psychic powers. The Alliance gave them to her in the facility. They wouldn't have to worry about River destroying a planet or something if they didn't give her the powers in the first place.

I'm super late to the party, but besides the horror of the alliance's Planetwide genocide on Miranda, they blasted all life off of Shadow as well. Part of Mal's being so lost is that his entire home planet was destroyed. I think firefly's point is that there aren't many good guys. Also Mal IS well educated and Book doesn't hate the alliance anymore because he's so shackled by guilt over the thousands of alliance lives he took. And Book can't really afford space rent. Mal just gives him a home.

great episode guys. the perspective is unique, never thought about this. thanx cracked :)

I liked the new guy in this skit. I feel like this level of trolling where he messes with view points in the cracked style we know and love is perfect for him. Keep up this and the good work.

Something he forgot to mention; the Alliance is responsible for River's abilities in the first place. Their experiments caused her to be able to read minds, and they trained her as an assassin. The Alliance is evil, as are many of the villains they encounter on the show. They are just small and large scale evil.

Interesting video. I always thought it was interesting that Firefly had an episode featuring a bounty hunter named "Jubal Early" -- presumably named after the Confederate general in the Civil War.

Considering the Alliances willingness to kidnap, torture and experiment on a little girl and then kill they're own people just to find River shows how corrupt and evil they are. Plus the crew always do the right thing in the end. Also remember (episode 11?) with that rich bio weapons designer who killed entire towns of people to steal artifacts and was allowed to do so by the alliance? Evil, Browncoats for the win!

These two together always do a great job. Very interesting stuff.

The alliance didn't give a single shit when a colony's life saving med shipment was nicked from right under their nose. A better analogy would be the Alliance is England while the browncoats and outlying planets are scotland

Now, I like the new guy. Because, he is fitting into the formula instead of breaking it.

More Alex AND he's dealing with Firefly? YOU JUST MADE MY DAY!!!!

You guys can crack humor from any angle...I'm lovin it!

This just made me like firefly even more.

5:20 "Hey, who are you?" Hahahaha I almost died!!!

Clever pithy, sparky analysis of shit I may or may not be familiar w, this is why I like Cracked vids.

The first time I've ever liked a video with new guy. Good job.

Is that a bottle of olive oil on Daniel's desk?

Haaa nice breakdown. I have a feeling Joss would have addressed this if Firefly had more seasons LOL. Finding out your heroes are on the wrong side? That's such a Whedon move. I love the new guy!!! He's like Blonde Dan!

I just want more of this show. Twenty years later and it seems like a far fetched dream to see this show or it’s like again but now more than ever we need a show like this. Andor proves there is at least a passionate if not large audience for a show like this and with Fillion and Tudyk now huge stars with brand appeal it seems like such a great opportunity to bring the show back. I’m preaching to the choir and we all know it’ll never happen but I power in the verse can stop me from dreamin.

I'm like 3:30 into the video where they're discussing whether or not the Alliance is evil and I'm like: "Miranda! Reavers! Hellooo?!"

There is something of a difference between "inspired" and "analogue" for a TV show. And why is it that this person who claims to be a Firefly fan completely ignores Serenity?

Excited for New Guy to slowly take over Cracked. It's feeling like a long con and I can't wait for him to unveil his masterstroke.

HEY!!! Well done New Guy!! Y'all made a big leap forward by letting him do regular stuff

The "maybe" to the sociopath made me laugh way too hard :) I really like the new guy!

1 crucial fact missing is what the alliance did to river and the fact that the alliance LITERALLY KILLED A PLANET and tirned 10% of the pop into reavers. Nuff said

One word: Miranda

love that Akira is the go to reference for unchecked psychic power destroying shit

This was great!

he is slowly invading the channel before 2016 he is in after hours.

It occurs to me there is another title of this video. In which New Guy explains his love for fascism.

Loved the end.... liked the rest of it too, but the last sentence was killer :p

Great video and nice ending guys.

You do relies The Alliance was the one that give her physic powers

The curious thing is many of the problems the Alliance faces could possibly be solved with more control. In the form of regulation and reforms. Now as for the whole Miranda incident, the only way to fix that would be to prosecute the people responsible, as well as cutting off connections with Blue Sun Corp., those bastards are more trouble than they're worth.

congrats on finally seeing the show!

New favorite video!!!

The Alliance is the Federation, the rebels are the Maquis.

Lets step back and counter a few points you made. "Ignorant maybe.. remember these are criminals living outside the system in a wild west analog" - They are criminals today, they were officers in the armed forces of a rival coalition government that went toe to toe with the alliance and fought for years. This armed forces would have had officer training schools, chains of command and training which would include a vast array of technical requirements. Mal or Zoe (notice the selective choice to avoid wash, who was also in the military). Also its rather ignorant on your said to assume that criminality is based upon ignorance, its not. Lets also address kaylee, no she is not self taught. For guys who profess to watch the show you forgot that her father builds and repairs ships. She was educated in the highly technical trade of spaceship repair by her father in the trade, this is more common then you think and is not at all a sign of ignorance.. If the alliance was not using the occupied worlds of the independents as revenue sources rather than actually providing for the citizenry it now inherited as part of the peace accord and surrender of the independents to the alliance on unification day, then a clear genius like Kaylee would be heading up a university or a major shipyard, instead the alliance has completely and criminally mismanaged the people and resources that it has taken. As for the "earth was used up" this was not the Apocalypse, to claim it was is a gross over simplification on your part. earth could not sustain the vast population and as such huge migration moved from it. the earth that was, is a term used in this fictional universe to describe a place and time that can not be returned to; not because of some religious event as you used, but for more practical concerns that the vast distances that the colony ships of the 'Earth Fleet' had to cover makes return an impossibility. You will note that only minor items from the planet made it to the triple star system (similar but further away than Alpha Centauri) which we refer to as the 'verse'. These ships in the show are not traveling to other star systems, but rather to planets locked into a close nit stellar system of multiple suns. The Earth likely continued on as it was, it likely sent out other fleets to other systems and their likely was stations built in the vast gulf between stars. The 'verse' was likely a one way trip, a chance for those rich, desperate or repressed enough to start over. In likelihood some of these were organized criminals or political terrorists. The irony would be if the founders of the Alliance may have started off as criminals given the choice of staying in jail or being sent one way to the void to support the colonists. As for the "in and out of alliance space" this seems to not be an educational thing, but more a right of original citizenship. In the same way in Israel if you are a natural Israeli citizen you have far more rights of travel then those born in the occupied territories. This system makes no sense, other then to economically favor one group that, is in theory, supports the government, where the other does not. This system is one that at its core is an unjust system. Your attempt to justify the alliance mutilation of a child is cringe worthy. River was not like this, her powers did not come naturally. Again, I have to question if you bothered consulting the source, but the writers made it very clear, rivers powers are made not natural. Also you seem to glance over the many other children in that facility. Tell me how many hundreds of thousands of children has this experiment mutilated or killed, at what point does your morality say this has gone too far? Yes the US government did horrible things, unconscionable things like the tuskegee experiments, however at its core it was a pursuit of a cure. This entire experiment is to make assassins and turn a gifted child into a killing machine with NO FREE WILL. This happened and was sanctioned by the highest levels of the Alliance government (see serenity movie). As was the forced experimentation of the population OF AN ENTIRE PLANET! If this makes you not question the legitimacy of a government... I frankly have to weep for you. As for the equating the confederacy which fought to maintain the use of human chattel slavery. It was not a war to gain Independence, it was a war to maintain the status quo against the tide of national sentiment that human chattel slavery was wrong and must be ended. This however has nothing to do with the war of conquest by the Alliance on the worlds of the independent systems. The revolutionary war was one of freedom of repression, it was a rebellion from the current government to form a new one that represented the people here, prior to the war there was no legal representation in Parliament for the common people of america. Next point, you clearly did not read Killer Angels, as the book is about the events and perspectives of the officers who fought in the battle of Gettysburg. This is not the reconstruction era, you completely misunderstood or cherry picked the interview. Here is the exact quote: "It was The Killer Angels. It's a book. I think it won the Pulitzer. It's a very detailed account of the Battle of Gettysburg that I read in London when I was on one of my vacations where I didn't write anything, but I did come up with Firefly and a couple other shows. I read The Killer Angels. The minutia of the Battle of Gettysburg and the lives of the people in it really made Firefly just pop out of my head. I want to get into people's lives this intimately. I want to do it in the future and show that the future is the past. So I built the structure of the world and the look of the show on the Reconstruction Era." So your attempt to equate the browncoats with confederate solders is just a grossly wrong The closes modern equivalent we have is the US invasion of Iraq and the subsequent disbandment of its military. This left thousands of former soldiers out of work, military equipment scattered and for sale to fly by night airlines operating on the razor thin line of the law. Hows that for a troubling thought.

I loved this episode!

The morals of Firefly are ambiguous because it reflects real life, where politics are confusing, morals are fuzzy and the only thing you can be sure of is your own personal code.

I miss firefly :C

ARE YOU FREAKING SLOW THE ALLIANCE CREATED REAVERS. PUT THAT CARD ON THE TABLE, ALONG WITH EVERYTHING ELSE, YOU WIN THE FREAKING GAME

I'm kind of surprised that more people don't know about this already. But one of the points of the series is that "good guy" and "bad guy" can be sometimes quite murky. And that there can be multiple points of view.

I thnk that it is pretty clear in the show that there are no purely bad guys or purely good guys. Well the Reavers, they are just crazy

Remember when cracked was funny? Me neither.

You gotta read Killer Angels. One of the protagonists was named Reynolds and clearly an inspiration for Mal. He was Union. :-)

That was wonderful. Thank you. Now I have to look this sh*t up.

That last bit XD "who are you?"

Thought people liked it cause they were the bad guys.

The Alliance made River a weapon. As far as we can tell, with the exception of the Reavers the Alliance has no enemies necessitating the creation of a psychic assassin, so to do so is proof that they are bad. Even if you think of them as some order imposing bureaucracy, they have clearly become bad, and the argument in Firefly is that the war was proof. They shafted the border worlds, then crushed them underfoot when they tried to create a border planet government in touch with their needs. I get that this is satire and as a fan of the Sith and Devil's Advocacy I am all for arguing the unpopular view. But what we see in Firefly is pretty clear that the Alliance is at best only good for rich people, and at worst flat out evil in the methods they employ to keep power. I would agree that the Alliance were the good guys if it weren't for River and the agent in the movie. The creation of the Reavers can honestly be considered misguided good intentions. Arguably the agent can be written off as a necessary evil, but to take away the freedom of someone as affluent as River shows that the government doesn't even truly protect their wealthy law-abiding citizens.

"I have one button unbuttoned?" I lolled!

That was good, I liked that. More dan and new guy! Please?

TIL Cracked is cool with fascism

I liked this one. I kinda figured this a long time ago, and was then rooting for the alliance, but I root for the empire in star wars too so...

Also, the part about the government monitoring River because of her brain craziness...she wouldn't have been so crazy if it wasn't for the experiments they did on her. That was the point, right? The screwed with her brain to "turn her into a weapon", and then they want that weapon back.

"hey soren the new guy is a sociopath" hahahahahahaha thats funny

Following the law is completely irrelevant in determining whether someone has strong morals or not. Laws and moral decisions are correlated. Like killing someone or stealing from someone are examples. However not paying taxes is not amoral. Smoking weed is not amoral. Prostitution is not amoral. These are things where we're taught a distorted reality so that we can accept the logical inconsistencies. Getting other people to steal from someone else is not moral. However that's exactly what voting is. You're requesting a person to go steal from your community members to serve your ideals. Killing in defense of innocent life is not amoral. Many governments have this as being illegal. Kidnapping someone and locking them in a cage because they took action to preserve their life or someone else's life that was threatened .. thats amoral and that's what these governments do.

"Even Kaley, their technical expert, is self-taught"...oh well, fuck, I guess that only makes her uhm, I dunno, a friggen GENIUS? The idea that "education" trumps intellect and intelligence in spite of disadvantage is the reason for why colleges are sapping our generation dry. I've seen idiots upon idiots, educated and with honors. It's not a foolproof technique of ensuring a person is informed, articulate, and an innovative, useful member of society.

This is the only New Guy thing I've found funny so far

They forgot about Miranda project. Allliance has hugely fucked up with chemical human modification. Which is a big lesson for humanity. And Mal with his crew will spread this info throughout the verse. Doesn't this rehabilitate them?

The entire argument is invalid, because in Firefly, as in real life, there are no "good guys". Everyone is evil, no exceptions. Sorry I had to make you face that, but that's life.

The north treated the south like total shit during the reconstruction.

This is brilliant.

Great use of New Guy. Please, more of this from New Guy. This!