i had a similar experience of denial around binding, and wasn't aware of how bad my chest dysphoria was until i started binding! it was like accidentally fixing something you didn't even know was broken.

Enticing is the word I think

Hi Meg! I found your channel earlier this year and it has been instrumental in my trans nonbinary journey. It was very affirming and helped me navigate a lot of my feelings and difficult conversations, with myself and the people around me. You genuinely helped me put a name to everything I was feeling about my body and the way I present to other people. You also helped me decide on taking low dose T which has helped so much with my dysphoria. I wanted to comment on this video specifically because I'm getting top surgery this upcoming Monday. My chest is very large so I tried binders but they were never really an option for me so top surgery has been something I've wanted for so long. I've been reassured that the surgery itself and recovery are fairly easy and I'm just really looking forward to it all. I'm wishing you the best of luck in your top surgery journey and just in life in general! You've helped a lot of people, I think and I hope it all turns out how you want it to!

I just want to say that surgeries are generally super safe. Even the weakest of patients get through some very invasive stuff with great survival rate. If someone's having anxiety surrounding this particular issue, please don't. It's very very unlikely something bad will ever happen to you on the operating table or during recovery. The way your chest will turn out is a separate issue, of course, but if you are not afraid of surgery itself and whatever surgical corrections that might be needed afterwards, it's an awesome start.

i think the word is appealing

I love your vibe dude, you’re really good at speaking

The insurance thing is super important; I could've had surgery at least a year before I did, but I never knew the resources available to me! I was also scared of the final bill, and I stalled from getting the ball rolling.

i watch every single one of your videos and as a transmasc nonbinary person they are one of the only things keeping me going. I love you so much & thank you

By the way thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you so much for this video, also thanks to all the comments and opinions below, it's nice to have this community of supportive people. It's Tricky when you're in the middle because you're not sure how many baby steps to take in the medical ones, particularly Top surgery, it's not one of the ones that you can just put them back on like a Potato Head Toy. Sometimes I wish secondary body parts would be like that LOL it would be a lot easier to experiment, anyways thank you everybody for the messages and thank you, Meg, for the vid

thank you for this video. i've also been grappling with whether i want top surgery. i am trans and nonbinary and also pretty femme/twinky so i don't see a lot of representation of more femme afab nonbinary/gnc folks who want top surgery. CW WEIGHT MENTION, EATING DISORDER i also struggle with eating disorders and this has caused me to gain a lot of weight which has made my chest size bigger. before my chest was so small i could just put on a sports bra and stuff would be flat, but now i wear a binder every day. i don't bind at work because i work in the food service industry and am on my feet all day for 9 hours so i experience loads of dysphoria at my job. but thank you for highlighting the complexities of wanting top surgery and the financial/insurance privilege of getting to even have top surgery, i don't think people do that enough. have you thought more about top surgery and whether you want it or not in the past few months, since this video is from october?

3:50 i think the word you were looking for was enticing??

I relate a TON to this!! Congrats on feeling more at peace in your body dude, it is such a journey to finally claim yourself and feel sure in whatever direction you go. I look forward to eventually having top surgery. I think showing people what other bodies can look like is so important and awesome.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Conforming your decision is the right first step you took. I'm so glad that your partner is supporting you in your journey! Keep us updated if you got any more concerns.

I just recently came out as a trans non binary person and seeing this kind of videos makes me feel less alone. Sadly i can't actually start transitioning until I get out of my house because i have a really transphobic family and they'll never accept me, hell i can't even cut my hair short wihtout hearing that i ruined myself. Anyways, i identify a lot with pretty much everything you say in your videos, it's a realief for me to know that i am not crazy and that wanting to take low dose T is possible. Hope everything goes well with your surgery, wish you the best :)

The first time I binded I actually used medical tape and I truly felt like I couldn't breathe and it SUCKED tryna cut it off afterwards. I've been wearing gc2b and I quickly realized what you discussed about, how it just kinda sucks to have to wear this uncomfy thing (though there are uncomfier things) to feel more yourself and whatnot. I actually have to take off my binder when I do like AYCE or if I drink because I can't breathe and I wanna live my life eating and drinking when I want D: My plan since then has been to get top surgery when I'm more financially stable and things like that. It's such a good feeling though, to have your chest flat. I want mine to be flat forever honestly

I’m so so so happy I stumbled on your videos! I’m also trans nonbinary and came to the conclusion I want to physically transition after having a similar epiphany of why don’t I just put myself first and do the damn thing instead of just the constant discomfort. I’m v excited to say I just got my first bottle of testosterone today and I found a doctor who’s going to help me w/ the surgeon search! But I would love to see/hear more of your journey, your videos are so comforting and helpful!!

I relate a lot to you. I did know pretty much immediately after realizing that I’m nonbinary that I want top surgery, but I don’t have any particular anxieties around surgery. However, I didn’t realize my breasts bothered me until I identified as nonbinary. I was really good at ignoring them altogether. I don’t have a plan for surgery yet. I started T though! Week 4 and feeling good.

so happy for you!!

I've been trying to figure out whether or not this anger I have at not being able to go topless/braless with my huge breasts (non-binary breasts because I'm non-binary) is dysphoria. Even though it's legal in my province for anyone and everyone to be topless in public spaces, the social norms strictly prohibit F-coded people from doing so. Seriously. It's awful. F-coded people with big breasts typically get shamed when they wear tight tops even. (Maybe next the next Pride celebration post-CO-19 will experience me topless... maybe.) Where I live, people are mostly awful with demanding social norm adherence. So, I don't know if it's just legit anger at the society or if the anger is linked to dysphoria. I thought I didn't want top surgery. The last couple of weeks it's been a persistent thought. And I don't want to have surgery if it's just me conforming to social norms for an easier life (which is super valid, but I promised myself I wouldn't tame myself anymore). I would consider surgery if it is dysphoria. So, I'm in a spot where I don't know what my dysphoria feels like. I know I have an overwhelming unease with the M time of the month. I don't have the same unease with my breasts. Which makes me think that considering top surgery is just a way to conform to social norms rather than dysphoria. I know everyone is different and we all experience dysphoria in unique ways. Is it possible for dysphoria for different parts or processes feel different? Okay, I'm sorry. I'm super excited for you, Meg! This video just brought up all these feels in me. And I'm frustrated because I'm usually really aware of what I need/want and this time I'm not sure. :(

I’m definitely getting top surgery soon. Because I bind and I have noticed that when I bind sometimes my back just kills. I don’t bind for long anyway because of that reason.

❤️❤️