This is exactly the video I needed right now. I got a job a few months ago selling cars. It’s kinda fun but the hours are very long. When I get home, I game for hours on end and it eats up the little free time I have. The games are just awesome. I stay up all night and go to work exhausted. Thanks for trying to help me break the spell doc

00:37 - Recognizing a problem 01:20 - Misconceptions that hold us back 02:17 - A breakthrough 03:38 - Behavioral reinforcement 04:48 - Self-control feels like punishment 08:26 - Rethinking the cycle 1. 08:43 - Catching your creative impulse 2. A. 10:18 - Reflect, rekindle 2. B. 12:16 - Celebrate the wins 3. A. 13:42 - Why we are cynical of practice 3. B. 15:28 Why gratitude matters 17:32 - Recap 18:45 - Takeaway

One of the most beneficial things for me was creating a journal called “15 min of being less shitty.” For a period of time I couldn’t imagine being a good person or doing the right thing all the time, but I could be 15 min less shitty everyday. Even on days I only spent 2 minutes being less shitty, it added up. I no longer use that journal, unless feeling a little more lost again, but the habit was formed and tallying at end of year showed hours and hours of time I spent improving rather than atrophying

1) Try to jump on the tiny moments when your brain is interested in other stuff. Carry around a notebook, sketchbook, or have an instrument at the ready or do a few pushups 2) Reflect on what you just did (and reflect later on, like the next day too). What did I like about it? Is this what I want to be doing? Is this progress? 3) Practice gratitude. Congratulate yourself on doing what you want to be doing. Try to build up as many good thoughts about what you are doing as you can.

I love video games and have no intention of quitting. I just make sure to take care of my responsibilities before I can relax at the end of the day and play a game. There was a time when I would play all day and not get anything done. Nowadays, if I even try to play something earlier in the day it feels wrong. Like I'm a loser for not accomplishing more before rewarding myself with a game. I miss the long sessions but I also like having a clean home and stuff.

I didn't know if game addiction was the root of my problems, until I realized that if I stopped gaming, I would just waist time on something else to avoid my priorities that don't give me as much fulfillment. So the advice for practicing gratitude on more productive things is super helpful.

This reminds me of an ADHD tiktok (I wish I could find it and remember her name) where they described using something they called 'lightning in a bottle', where they would watch the videos that gave them the itch to do something to help them 'do' the thing, like watching makeup videos prior to putting on make up, or tidy videos before tidying. Kind of like priming your brain. She said to take specific notice of the videos and stuff you watch that makes you go 'I want to do that!' and keep it on hand for when it would help kickstart you.

After years of dealing with ADHD I've learned to appreciate my baby steps because they are literally the only way out certain habits, we don't have the luxury of a big decision out of our lifestyle or habits that finally drastically changes our life, that's actually the delusion that makes the condition worst (especially for the undiagnosed)

I'm just gonna keep watching this video everyday until it gets through my thick skull and I start taking action. Thanks for making this.

Any advice for achieving a middle ground between not having a desire and being addicted? gaming isnt something I want to give up or lose passion in, but also they are holding me back from my responsibilities at the level im doing

3-4 years ago, I could mindlessly grind video games for an entire day EVERY day. I really didn't have any concept of emotional processing back then. I'd play endlessly as long as I could escape my problems... But I've realized today that, since I'm continuously learning the mechanics of life and putting more of my time into stopping negative habits that I've been doing for several years. I really can't get myself to grind anymore...I honestly think that there's a huge difference between playing video games for fun, and playing video games to escape life's problems. Learning how to deal with anxiety, depression, burnout, etc... and how to efficiently communicate with people is more satisfying and fulfilling than getting the highest rank in a video game, in my opinion. Edit: 1% progress is still better than 0% progress, stop turning your small W's into L's. Comparing is really addictive, and it's weird since we don't usually choose if we want to compare or not. We just compare at first glance. But I honestly believe it doesn't have to stay that way, since I've learned to accept that life is full of RNGs. And once I started playing the cards that I was dealt with, life has become easier to endure and I started to actually living my life more. (btw is it just me or the video's audio has a bit of a muffled effect?)

Literally what I need right now! I’m studying for a license exam while feeling bad because “I should had started sooner” and that make me more anxious instead of being reward for actually trying.

I've been doing something else that has been helping in this situation. It is similar to the advice you gave Natalie Wynn. I have that self-critical inner voice you mentioned and I have been trying to practice self-compassion. The way I do this is a bit strange but it works for me - essentially I write down a conversation between myself and a big sister who is compassionate and accepting and that helps me reflect on the situation and also chases some of the negative thoughts away. It still took years of therapy to know how to combat those thoughts, but that is just my personal story, that I wanted to share.

Im a college student, gaming has backed me a lot in comparison to my classmates grades, making me the less likely option to finally graduate, what im finally finding out its that you dont really need to "get rid of gaming" as if there's only two options such as like "all or nothing" , take an example of drinking alcohol, you can drink from time to time when u go to a party (might say 1 per 4 months, not an excessive amount), so you drink alcohol, but cant be considered addicted to it, its just something that u do eventually. Going back to the point, same can also happen to gaming as DrK says about rewading system and etc, dont get truly rid of gaming, but use it as a reward for your hard work, resist the urge to play the entire time and use gaming as a reward after you have done something that u can say "This made my day productive" and releasing all the urges at those final hours after studying, working, etc. Using gaming as an intended way of being somewhat entertaining/time killer at your free time, instead of something to avoid things that can finally get u in a bad position if it keeps going, but never forget that gaming its not all you can do, there's always something that will capt your attention from time to time such as writing, dancing, singing, exercise, etc. Maintain it under your control, control the hours that u dedicate to things, never focus always too much in only one and try doing various things per day, make your life a constant enjoyment

This is great advice, thank you doc. Personally I’ve quit games before and I’ve decided to go back to them. I got my excercise/meditation/study habits in place, went back to school and got my degree while working full time, I get dates with women I like, so I can confidently say that videogames no longer hold me back. At the same time, I really enjoy videogames a lot. I’m talking about single player games with awesome stories, epic fights and banging music. I don’t want to give those up. I believe I can be mindful enough to notice if I’m getting addicted (for instance, games are not as fun when you’re addicted) and the good feelings I get from videogames can live alongside the good feelings I get from real life, just like other people get good feelings from tv shows, movies, sports (things I don’t really care about). Since I enjoy single player games only, there’s usually a natural stopping point when the story ends that allows me to put it down and stop. Also I decided to remove my gaming PC (I tried moderating its use but I really struggle) and just play on my switch, physical games only: I have to actually go out and get games from stores and sometimes I can’t get the ones I want, sometimes I get a used game deal, so on and so forth. I noticed that’s a part of the hobby I enjoy a lot and I’d been missing ever since I’d gone full digital. I think this is a nice compromise. EDIT: one more important component to this is, I think, that I’ve been lucky enough to find a very strong purpose in life. I think when you have a strong purpose, and you feel like you’re working towards something meaningful, the things that feel good but don’t help along that path become less addicting and less capable of controlling your behavior. As the doc says, positive reinforcement (I’m not gaming less to punish myself, I’m gaming less so I can do something else that is very meaningful) is very very powerful.

I try to stop playing game , When free time come My mind blank and don't know what should i do☠️

I played games from the age of 14 to about the age of 30 for maybe an average of 8 hours per day. I did the bare minimum is classwork, etc... and in life in general, just C average so that I could maintain my gaming. One day all of a sudden I just got bored of the game I was playing and oddly enough have had little to no desire to play games since then. I got a job at an accounting firm and I've worked myself up to a supervisor / managerial position within the year. Been great. The only thing I haven't been able to change is my inability to make myself exercise.

I started logging my exercise and piano practice so I can see my progress and remember what I want to work on next. It's rewarding to see the progress, especially when I feel discouraged or impatient.

I was not addicted to video games so I would only be able to tolerate playing for 10 minutes on my switch. I would start a game than not complete it and it became a bad habit to not finish what I started. I decided in 2020 to finish one game and I learned a valuable lesson. I learned of aggregation of marginal gains from gaming. Put in 1% of something everyday and eventually I will be a master at that subject. Now I have applied that to reading books and weight training. Some say games are a waste of time, but it taught me a valuable lesson. It helped, however, that I was not addicted to gaming.

Thank you. Needed this today. I’m coming down from a prolonged gaming spree, and listening to you have given me enough of a nudge to try something different. I normally don’t comment, but I’m catching the creative impulse to, and also practicing expressing some gratitude in the process.

You are one of the greatest professionals in the area that I could find (and I believe in the world overall). Ty for all your help

Thank you so much for this informative video! This is exactly the struggle I've had all these years of my decade long struggle with video game addiction - and even now, recreational gaming. There's always a push-pull or love-hate relationship and like you said a "war" going on in my head. One day I win, the next day I lose the battle... It all makes sense now. My brain is punishing me for "making progress in life" ... Just hearing that sent shivers down my spine. This sense of negativity towards myself and towards real life progress.... This is a wake-up call and a reminder to be grateful and compassionate towards myself and my small victories. I'll watch this again. I know that's forsure! Thank you, Dr. K!

I just finished reading Kristin Neff's book on self-compassion, and, oh man, it fits perfectly with the message of the video. Great video as always Dr.K

I'm grateful for all your videos Dr. K!

getting this in my recommended is a bit of a throwback, i found these videos really helpful. i dont even remember why i was depressed anymore, its convenient that having a job doesnt really give me time to be anxious, let alone play games

Incredible how these videos always seem to come out at the perfect time. My issue has felt like it's been somewhere down the middle. Yes, I've struggled with playing too many hours some days but I never neglected my responsibilities or lost relationships because of it. My issue is I've played so much that now they don't really produce any rewards to begin with. Most of the luster in this hobby is gone and I feel burnt out. A big reason I kept continuing playing is because of the availability. Oftentimes there just isn't much else to do when you're at home and done with work, chores, etc. You can read or learn a new skill of course but for some reason you just end up back to playing games. They may not be exciting 24/7 but you know what you're getting and it's consistent. It is a blessing and a curse to have been raised in the mid to late 90s where technology wouldn't stop evolving. Thank god I signed up for the gym now because I've been away for far too long. Time for a much healthier distraction.

I'm grateful you continue to reinforce positive decisions in our lives. Fighting the desire for video games really does feel like a losing battle sometimes. I appreciate what you do so much Dr. K

I noted myself, that being grateful made my emotions much different to different tasks and events in my life. Even the broken dish, instead of being sad that I broke it, I am happy that nobody got hurt or that nobody got seriously injured. Thanks for the video!

"Your brain ends up punishing you for doing the little things that make you grow" (or something like that). Just on the feels, K. Thats me...and i need to change that disabling mindset. Thank you for helping me to see it and for giving ways to be more grateful and forgiving towards miself.

1. Capturing impulses 2. Reflection 3. Positive reinforcement

Great video! Really opened my mind about stuff going on in my life at the moment. In my case, one of the things I struggled with the most was my perceived thin boundary between self-gratitude and complacency.

Great video Dr. K! The examples were very relatable.

I just put two and two together about my music professor who never really rewarded me or used positive words in my private lessons. He believed in being strict and critical, and sometimes he even made me feel humiliated. I think this sucked all the joy out of it, and recently I’ve also been reflecting a lot about the anxiety I developed (mainly an anxiety about sitting in the audience, which I still don’t logically understand where that is rooted in). In reality, I was getting better and better at playing my instrument, but I felt worse and worse because of the cruelty.

Just wanted to share something I’ve learned during my fitness routine thats a huge hack: think of the “bad” or “weak” days as the most important. Sure you may feel shitty about your performance but if you are able to convince yourself that just the fact of being there to stick to a plan is the biggest W you can see in the gym, it becomes so much more of a thing you look forward to as a part of your lifestyle

I've long understood behavioural addictions as habits that have been greatly reinforced over time, and that to shift away you need to foster new long term habits but the practice of how to do this has just as long eluded me. I think this guidance is exactly what was missing in my understanding. Thank you.

you changed my life, thank you dr.k

To add to all the advice here, my recommendation for video game problems that has helped me a bit, is to see them for what they are, as typically being something that simulates achievement and success for a small fraction of the effort that would be required to succeed irl. So I would say to someone who is stuck enjoying all the success you feel in a video game, that succeeding in something irl feels better than any video game, because you know it requires more work and more pain to get there, and so sticking it out through all that and surviving in the end to achieve something that may help other people irl is one hell of a feeling. To me the ingame quests also exist in real life, a gamer can look to those for a source of enjoyment alternative to a video game. They simply lack the vibrant colours and flashing lights of a computer screen, but indeed they are quests and they do reward actual rewards. Nice vid tho Dr. K i'll definitely try this out ty

This was the most useful video I've seen in a while, and I don't even have a gaming problem (or any addiction for that matter) The part about teaching your brain to reinforce positive behavior was fascinating, and made me realize how I never really feel happy or proud of myself when I accomplish a difficult task, and how that keeps making it more and more difficult to do those things. Fascinating.

The worst thing is that im not addicted to video games. I dont play them often nor do i have the urge to do it. But i still cant bring myself to do stuff that i know i need to do and it's exactly as you describe. I do stuff for some time ( in some cases for months) still dont come close to it giving me positive feedback, and i quit. And apart from work i have to do i do nothing just browsing web or watching youtube. I'm not even playng games anymore because i convinced myself thats it's a waste of time (and for the most part it is). The funniest thing is that all of what you have said i discovered by myself just reflecting on my own behaviour, but it is still not enough to win.

This video was so reassuring. I have struggled a lot throughout my life but, about a year ago I started making improvements. I workout consistently five days a week, after a year I see the improvements which motivates me to keep going. My outlook on life changed from me being better than everyone else to giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. I always try to find what others have to offer and what I can do to help. Everything you said in the video I figured out myself and with help from others. It helped me realize that what I have been doing for a year is helping and, that I am going in the right direction. Thank you!

I wish thier way a way for you to know how much good you are doing in sharing your experience, education and observations. Thank you...very much.

thank you for this one, I been struggling with my life for years and it always feels like an endless war. this has helped a lot ty.

Can I just say, out of everyone's 'productivity' advice on YT, Dr. K is the only one that consistently gets me back on course and with more self-knowledge than before. I've got to take notes on this when I get home. Besides getting a summary to reference later, I keep a store of notes called my 'Dharma Journal' where I put a lot of his recommendations into practice and it's worked /exceedingly well/ to break the cycle.

Actually yes. lol I tend to write stuff down to organize my thoughts, but make the mistake of not going back to it. Reflecting, processing, and acknowledging positively what I've done in my attempts to be productive is ABSOLUTELY how to reinforce making the right decisions again and again. Thanks so much for this. ^^

I like how Doc just sets me up for success more and more with every video I watch

This is an amazing video, This puts concepts I was trying to integrate into a congruent and well structured explanation, Thank you Dr K

I never had an issue with my gaming. I normally treat video games as a reward. So at the end of the day once everything is done and I've taken care of everything I have to do for that day then I'll play games. The only time I think about games throughout my day is when a new game comes out. This video was actually kinda helpful to me. 💚

I've heard something like this somewhere "Back then video games were made to escape reality Today reality is an escape from video games" Its like im stuck in this hole and i cant get out in the reality again. I stay up all night and play nonstop even when im tired and dont find it fun. If i get free time or am just bored i just mindlessy start playing like a robot. Also when i open up social media i have this similar kinda Mindless scrolling hand motion. It also sucks cos i do the daily missions every day and feel like im missing out on a lot of xp if i miss just one single day. Atp it became a chore for me and im just tempted to grind the battlepass and get that limited time drop. I dont want to conpletly quit playing tho. I just want to play like once a week. But the urge just keep coming and i cant stop My advice to myself and everyoneelse who is suffering from this addiction is to take some time to think about what youll gain before playing. Thats all just take your time and dont feel rushed

Thank you for this, I have been going through a faze where, I actually feel so much better mentally when I am more creative, going out for a walk and yarl giving myself more time to be bored, thinking of new ideas instead of feeling that time with video games.

I really needed this thank you 😊

Good work Dr K! Great timing and will really help with my tendencies to be hard on myself when trying to instil good habits 👍

This video is a massive w. Especially since I've been struggling to stay positive. It took me quite a while to learn that any progress is valuable no matter how small.

Thank you, this was so useful!

I really needed this, thank you

Literally Dr. K's videos are a positive input for me to get motivated to pursue good habits for myself lol

I have to say, your hair looks beautiful dude. Thanks for all the good content for mental health. I always watch your videos while working.

Mentally chewing on a topic and appreciateing the small wins, has helped me to quit smoking. It took lots of trials, but I celebrated each period of not smoking. In order to establish a new habit it hadn't I haven't applied this method that consciously and successfully.

Thanks so much for the tips. I really appreciate that you made this video.

I haven't seen a Dr K vid in prob 8 months and the first video I click on is a BANGER as always. Mindfulness guru. Thank you for never missing. I still wear your merch I bought 2 years ago to the gym!

This was helpful thank you 🙏

Amazing video very eye opening. Thank you

Video games for me has been a part of my life. It keeps myself sane and safe from the outside world

I’ve just recently found your channel and it’s like you have the key to my brain 😂 thanks for your videos, they’re very insightful

Thx man. Have been thinking about this recently

It's nice to see a video about the good ol' productivity things.

THANK YOU SO MUCH

This is actually something I needed to hear. About a week ago I noticed just how happy and uplifted I feel every time I accomplish something in the game, how entertained I am while scrolling through video essays or tiktoks. And for all this week I was kind of stuck in the black&white thinking (there's probably a better term for it but I am not native speaker so that basically means I get to write nearly incoherent and get away with it) like "Oh no, there is absolutely NOTHING that can be as engaging as that, so I will have to rely on my will power FOREVER and I don't have so much power to hold myself back, so basically I’m screwed, this is how it works". I really tend to fall in this type of thought process and it paralyzes me for a great while. Thankfully, Dr.K helped me out on this one, so thank you!

This feels like really helpful, practical advice. We all need to know more about these brains that are driving us!

I really needed this one, thanks a ton

Thank you soo much you don't know how much i needed that video For the longest time i'm been self destroying myself and i didn't know why, i hated every little thing i used to like, i engaged in addictions, everyday wasting a great amount of time and whenever i try to break though it becomes harder and harder i felt like giving up, thoughi wanted to get up still And well the reasons i fell into this trap was 'cause of perfectionism in first place, doing good yet self punishing, no matter how great i did or how much i improved and well to put my mind to sleep to stop that chatter that 'it's not enough' dialogue i'll waste time either binge watching or playing video games, Well i'm seeing a bit of improvement this days since i started journaling and well watching this video i know how finally make a break through

great message!

This video was really informative and I've learned so much from it, thank you my guy!

The way that I overcame my video game addiction was to simply sit and think a little about the game before actually playing the game. I would always imagine myself playing, completing dungeons, getting XP and what not, but then this one thought came to mind: "hold on... what is it all for?" The moment I realise I gain literally nothing (in real life) by playing the game is the moment I decide not to play. And it gets much easier with each day. I can go on months without playing and I'm saying this as someone who used to play literally 10 or more hours daily. Something in me just snapped the moment I tried to look at life as whole. This is not to say that I don't play anything at all anymore. I get fixated on a game from time to time, but my "addiction" only lasts around 4-5 days max, then I return to not playing for months again.

I remember this is how my Dad killed any joy in reading for me. He's a professor and has probably read hundreds of thousands of books - but would turn reading into a task for me, asking for a minimum number of pages read as extra homework, and failure to do so resulting in disappointment or scolding. Naturally now i dont read at all - but i had other stuff i enjoyed or other things i do that are healthy, but i've internalised my dad and beat myself up for not doing more. For me gaming is the reward, so especially on weekends when i have more free time to do so, Im definitely on it more than I want to be.

Great Video! this is the first time I feel that this advice actually makes sense, not like "find something to replace gaming", kind of advice. Thank you! 🙂

Pausing has been so helpful for me in recent times. Feeling anxious? Pause and sit in it for a bit. Wanna start scrolling through YT shorts? Pause. Feeling the impulse to eat unhealthy food? Pause. Feeling sad? Pause. It's not much first, but it eventually gets me to start seeing my life in a different light, even if I do on occasion give in to the feeling or desire.

i love this very much. i would be honored to having you on my channel. i have been focusing on discussions about shadow work and self actualization. I myself have been suffering from using videogames as a coping mechanism. This video has a lot of great info. would be amazing to expand upon this and delver deeper and hear more from you

Absolute banger video Dr. K. I know a couple people who need to see this one

Man KZfaq must be an algorithm after all! Sniffs cries tears of joy

Great Information!!!

The timing couldn’t be better on this one

this is an incredible video that answer my question why the h i want to write gratitude journal and why replace good habits with gaming is so painful. Genuinely thanks for the video

It helped me a lot to set my exercise goals really low. Just sitting and stretching is good for dopamine, and it's a way to get in touch with your body.

this information is valuable because it helps to see in another way the use of games as something creative and fundamental for the expression of creative ideas.

One thing that helped re-enforce my gym habit was learning a few lifts/movements that activated "lifting" muscles that gave me a temporary toned-effect in the mirror immediately post workout. Stuff like oblique twists, or side leg lifts (from the Pilates program) which will pull your waist in and butt up for a few minutes post-pump. Check yourself out in hte mirror get your dopamine hit because you look less doughy, then do your core strength work and leave. Eventually you won't need to start with the pump you up movements (took about a month for me)

practicing gratitude is so OP, i haven't done it for a long time but it changes so much

I recently took some of this advice and turned to a more visceral hobby. I have always enjoyed Lego, and sorting them relaxes me in some strange way. The benefit has been spending more time with my daughter, and more relaxed and calm mind, less anxiety.

This guy have Great charisma..... ❤❤

10 years ago I couldn't stop playing. Now I can't start.

i also heard that if you want to stop doing something add more obstacles in the way - if u want to stop playing video games just uninstall the games, u are less likely to play video games if every time u have to wait 10 mins for the game to download. if u want to start doing something remove as many obstacles as you can - how often are you going to play guitar if its in a box in your garage somewhere? take the guitar and place it somewhere close like near your bed or your desk - u will be constantly seeing the guitar and plus its already out of the box and ready to be used

This video coming out just as I’m getting into Elden Ring is like a sign from the Universe

Thanks, Doc. Just in time for my another spiraling down

I don't even play videogames and I still find this extremely useful. Thanks Dr. K ♡

Thanks!

I always knew that I could affect my impulses somewhat with the content that I absorbed (like watching house cleaning videos to motivate myself to tidy up) but the content itself was so addictive that it was easy to get sucked in or derailed into some other recommended video. I never really thought about using my own thoughts as the content, I feel like that would be a lot more effective and less likely to waste even more of my time.

I thankfully never had issues negatively reinforcing excercise because even when i was at my worst shape and most sedentary lifestyle, excercise actually gave me a pretty big mood boost and lowered my anxiety on the spot.

it's actually really interesting too look at gratitude as an internal radar and scale for things you genuinely value and respect.

What a great explanation. That really makes sense. I have been practicing gratitude and it does help. Celebrating your wins, however small is important. Now the next challenge is to separate the association with the addiction with pleasure. How do I convince my brain that the game will not be the best possible feeling when it remembers that it is. There doesn’t seem to be any (positive) impulse to capture around taxes and such odious tasks.

Ever since I was a kid I always watched my older cousins play sega. Ever since I held a controller, I have been a slave right now, I have a kid who wants my attention, things are algood with me and him. But sometimes on stressed days I tend to ignore him just a bit too much. I’m trying to quit gaming, but I have closer friends on PlayStation than I do in real life. And it’s constant pressure to try and keep up with them.

cultivating gratitude 🗝️