As I get older I no longer need to impress or compete anymore I'm finally comfortable in my own skin

Speaking from years of experience as a "result" of hypermasculine trauma / body dysmorphia in males: I wasted sooooo much time worrying what others were thinking about me and truly nobody really cares about you in the end - you make meaningful connections once you find people who also are vulnerable and kind. I wasted years of my life away stressing over what other men were thinking - sizing me up at the gym or trying to manipulate me by overpowering me in social interactions. And with fears women were only deciding if the size of my muscles or my face shape were good enough criteria to consider as a potential partner. Which was extremely narrow-minded thinking towards women but had seen it play out time and time again. I was lucky to have met a woman that changed my perspective considerably. She loves me for who I am and she happened to be from an East Asian culture which I believe is generally less fixated on sexual attractiveness being focused more on hyper masculinity "alpha bro" traits in males. In the end everyone has a spectrum of likes and desires but the way your are raised and your cultural/media influences as a child play enormous roles in how you develop healthy self love or self hatred. I have gained self confidence but do admit I still feel body shame and weakness around other macho guys because trauma takes a long time to heal. To all you teenagers and 20 year olds the modern world you have grown up in is fast furious and pretty cut throat. You truly have to be authentic to yourself and not concern yourself with other's opinions on your physical attributes or competitiveness. Even before social media and TikTok - the focus in America especially has been for men to be tough no matter what you can't quit or cry or express any complaints. It is true you should try your best to your own self satisfaction but you should not let these so called "society rules" control your self worth image. You can be a strong and confident male without being an alpha a**hole by being humble and vulnerable. You can be the biggest man in the room by not being the biggest one in the room.

Vulnerability is a strenght when chosen by you and a weakness when discovered by others.

Unfortunately there usually is someone around who will take advantage of your vulnerability and abuse you ☹️ Be careful whom you're vulnerable around.

Einzelganger is therapy

Those people who see vulnerability as weakness don't deserve your time. Thank them and move on. Life is short. Love to all

Vulnerability is important, specially when you're facing a grief.

Also, being vulnerable gives you information which allows you to see who's a friend or enemy who will take advantage of you.

This channel is a beacon of hope in the darkness displayed sometimes by the human mind. Every time I feel confused or lost, anxious or depressed, I come across with one of these videos and every time I emerge relieved, with a sense of hope and clarity. Thank you very much for your work, as it's not only very beautiful and entertaining but also of great assistance in times of sorrow. Bless you, my friend!

Mom died 10 days ago... As a man, I'm not the type of person who shows weaknesses, but in rough times... I've shown it to my relatives and reaped the benefits of their help when it comes in the process of funeral and burial of my mom... And after that trial, it strengthens my bond to them and becomes a better person...

I absolutely agree, being vulnerable is true power. It shows you're brave enough to be real and that's where real strength lies. It lets us connect, grow, and inspire each other in the most genuine way. So, yeah, showing your true colors? That's where the magic happens. Thank you for another great video :)

I'm a lawyer but have always been uncomfortable being center-stage and/or speaking before groups. Until recently, I had a well-paying behind-the-scenes job, which I both loved and excelled at. Last fall, however, I voluntarily gave it up to become a front-line trial attorney. Over the past five months, I have come to learn that I am not a very good litigator, or even a very average litigator - and I think my colleagues may have formed the same opinion about me. Still, I do not regret my decision because although it's been very challenging and VERY humbling, I believe that I've grown more in the last 5 mos than I did in the last 5 yrs in my previous job - even if I cannot see that growth yet.

Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but emotional maturity

Let’s have deep thoughts before bedtime!!!

My vulnerability lies in my mental health. I have been living with a terrible illness for a very long time, which is now manifesting itself in such a way that I can no longer maintain the interests I once had. It takes a lot of time to accept this because these are interests that have accompanied me throughout my life. And the disease itself is not completely accepted, unfortunately. Great video!

Being vulnerable is saying yes to life and being able to have friction with reality. Yes, it's dangerous, yes, it can cause you pain, yes this and yes that... It's life man, it's life.

I don't necessarily like the use of the word "vulnerable" in certain circumstances. Is a person just being "transparent" or are they truly being "vulnerable" with conveying/displaying things that could lead to disregard, ridicule and such? I need to be transparent at times in order to not lose my mind and hope that others will help me. The worst part of being transparent or vulnerable is when there is no regard or very little (empathy, assistance, etc) related to what you're conveying in most cases. Yes being ridiculed can be a rough one, but it's easier to deal with that to an extent if there is enough positive response from the openness. Many in society have the mentality of; "Well someone else will help". Or people will assume others are ok, because individuals fear disregard from their transparency thus they don't express it or don't perhaps express it enough. I currently regularly think about my past trauma because currently I barely have enough support in various ways. Thanks for producing and reading.

the trick is to gain strength in all aspects possible: mentally, emotionally, financially, physically. etc. and act weak or humble all the time. from this, people will see your strength from within.. they will respect you.. any other who will see you as weak is irrelevant and will have no effect because they are underestimating you. if you are just acting strong but in reality you are weak inside, people will detect your weakness and see you as toxic.... what to do? focus on your self. improve your self in all aspect. to be strong in all aspect. focus on you.

This video came out at such a perfect time it's scary! Within the past 3 years I lost 2 friendships because I showed vulnerability. I was told I was "weak" and "pathetic". Through introspection I embraced my vulnerability and literally had a great conversation about this recently on how I embrace it, and that alone gives me strength. Everyone in chat and whoever else watches this video and you are on the edge about embracing it because you might get judged or lose someone dear to you, EMBRACE IT! Those who stay will show you just how truly powerful life can be, and through that, you will embody and become truly fearless.

It takes courage to be vulnerable! And deep down everyone knows this because we're all share that same human link. You are not going to grow if you repress your weaknesses and once you begin to embrace them, you will feel a freedom and space to 'breathe'. Smart people don't follow the crowd and they incite envy in the followers because everyone deep down knows they got to be special because they embraced their weaknesses which now allows them to be authentic.

Great vid. The desire to be "invulnerable" correlates with perfectionism and all the pitfalls that come with that fruitless pursuit. As Voltaire once said, "Perfect is the enemy of the good."

I agree to everything said, but i want to add one thing. To me, admitting volunerbility and trying to overcome it, is brave and an act of Strength. Celebrating volunerability and using it as a shield, so no one may citicise you, no matter what you do, is absolutely despicable.

There is a time and place for everything, including vulnerability. What might work for one person may not work for another.

I have been watching your videos for 3 years now. Every single video that you have posted has a powerful message behind it. The lessons behind them are very coherent, and they give us the viewers perspective in ways that we had never approached before. thank you sir for all that you do. 👏👏👏

vulnerability physically and emotionally is a double-edged sword, it can either lead to death or healing. Hypermasculinity hyperfemininety likely at the root of this stigma towards vulnerability though.

I would love to be vulnerable, to open up to people and be myself, but it often doesn't feel safe. Unfortunately, there are people who take advantage of you or hurt you. Or it can create an awkward situation. It's such a joy to meet people who are kind and compassionate, but in my experience are extremely rare. My late husband was such a a great friend to me and many others because he didn't judge or condemn anyone for being human.

Schopenhauer also said that people oscillate on the pain and boredom axis. Making yourself vulnerable means moving towards the pain end of the axis. I think a reasonable way of saying it is to operate well within your own limitations, not causing harm to yourself and other's.

The truth is that the biggest factor in vulnerability actually working out as a strength - is luck. You say it's easier to come to terms with if we embrace the uncertainty and follow up with 2 questions of what will happen if this goes right/wrong with already assumed idea that the benefits greatly outweigh the risk, for reasons not really clear to me. Also the idea of "it's their problem for judging me, not mine" is very dependent on context. If their presence in your life does make a difference in the first place, then their potential change in treatment towards you WILL be your problem, regardless of whatever disingenuous coping you come up with.

I like this version more than the previous. Thank you. It’s is really helpful.

Thank you so much. I needed to hear this today. I've often received the advice "you need to play your role at work. And put on a show, if YOU cannot do it." It didn't work for me, because I feel like especially at work I don't want to be someone else, as I do it for a long time and this might become very tiresome and in the end less fulfilling. Around people who might hurt me emotionally it is more difficult. I normally get very quiet around them and leave as soon as possible. But I really hate fighting back. Kind wishes to you:)

Thank you for the video. I needed to be reminded of such simple truth; that to become experts, we had to first accept becoming fools. Humbleness is one of the most important virtues for self-growth and happiness.

Yeah your right vulnerability is powerful. It also makes me feel very alive.

Seeing these images from the King’s Speech, someday I hope to hear, along with others, this clear-talking person, Einzelganger, speak or give a talk in public… I was thinking just yesterday that a trip to the Netherlands is long overdue for me :) kind regards from Montreal, -a loyal listener, M

I didn’t need this video, but so many many people do. Thank you!!

I think, this is about honesty to ourselves and to others about our weaknesses and the courage to work at it and accept help. It is not about vulnerability. What is the difference? Vulnerability is risking to be too emotional and down, to be whiny and give in. That's not power. I think, the Stoics would not agree that vulnerability is a desirable trait. Also in the movie "The Kings Speech", Berty is not becoming whiny. It's about honesty. Honesty is the first step to work the problem and get help, not to give in.

Thank you for another very well put together video!

Thank you So Much for this!!!❤

Thank you for uploading 🙏🏻

This channel is a blessing to Humanity ✨

What a timely video! I’ve been having this conversation with a friend the past few days, it’s eerie. Thank you ❤ lovely video!!

You continue to make extremely uplifting and enlightening content and I must admit that I am extremely grateful.

THANK YOU so much for this video. Topics like these are so, so important, especially for men. I am part of a women's circle and we meet once per month and once in a while we spent whole weekend together. There is a lot of crying, laughing, sharing and caring. I don't know why but it seems to me this is much easier for women than for men. I know that there are men's circles where emotions and showing and accepting them is the main topic. But there are not enough. We need more soft men who are able to feel themselves, their boundaries and their dreams. Your vulnerability shows you where to stop and where to go. You just have to allow and let go ❤ Thank you so much for this video ❤❤❤

The self help guru the world needs

Thanks!

Beautifull as always

Me being an INFJ means that being vulnerable makes me a social outlier for 99.99% of the population. With that said, I can practice vulnerability, but it requires careful planning to not come across as too “weird” or “controversial”.

Be vulnerable with the people one trust ... Good people are worth it.

It has taken me a long time and MANY painful lessons to learn this but I am SO happy that I have learned it!!!

This put in to words what iv been feeling this past week.. The way some people look down on others for avoiding conflict or showing vulnerability and respect them less when they should actually respect them more for choosing a passive route and genuinely just hating conflict and the expectation to be the toughest in the room. Your video will now be my new reference point for this argument lol

Such a powerful message.

finding this channel was the best thing that happened to me

“The always maintain frame” thing is not in opposition to vulnerability. If anything the two ideas go hand in hand. The idea of frame is simply “how to interpret meaning from events” and “how you choose to define what is good and bad, right and wrong”. Having a strong frame essentially boils down to someone who trusts their own judgements and intuitions, instead of having to look to other people first. Someone can be vulnerable and still have a strong frame and strong sense of self. If anything, someone who is fully convinced about the power of vulnerability and engages in it often, by definition, must have a strong frame to do it.

What a fantastic channel, thank you!

Wow, what a fantastic video and embracing lesson and reminder! Thank you! I have listened to the video repeatedly for the last hour and taken self-improvement notes. Thank you 🙏🏻

"... if it PLEASES them to think that of you." --- (yeah, they LIKE it & that's quite a current to swim against

Every individual is vulnerable in some way or another. People tend to put up an artificial defense mechanism to guard themselves against bullies, detractors, and their opponents!

This is so true! The greatest weapon we wield against ourselves is pretence. It takes away the priceless openly to know ourselves better in a particular situation. When you pretend, you may please others, but you lose the opportunity to know yourself and become better and stronger. The same goes with vulnerability, if you express your vulnerability, you get the chance to build yourself into dealing with the potential outcomes, so next time it doesn't become a vulnerability anymore, because whatever happens from it you're prepared and strong enough to handle it.

I really needed this, thank you😌🎵🎶

The fact that this came out exactly when I have to show who I really am and accept my feelings and flaws 😭😭 dude this ain’t my favorite channel for nothing

Thank you so much for the video on weakness and vulnerability. I really appreciate it.

This video hit the nail for me. Something that I understood was that everything that I want in life requires me to be vulnerable. The happiness of starting a journey on rediscovery of self! Love this channel

This video comes in a time I really need it. I currently learn to draw, firstly out of personal interest and i really have fun doing it, seconly as a stepstone do socialise more. Sharing my work and progress exposesme to social judgement, something i greatly fear. But I do want to overcome those fears. Even though, my first posts got, so I think, genuine positive feedback and constructive criticism, I trembled infront of the reality, that a large amount of people saw what i do, my fleeting attempts to lern a new skill. I deleted my post and destroyed my work, just so to know it wasn't out there anymore for other to see. This was true weakness, cowardness and foolishness, because I let my fears take all the better of me. I know, that the pain I felt was necessary and I will try to be better in the future.

Man, this video came at the best time

If people judge us it´s their problem. not ours. Beautiful message, thank you!!!❤ I think not everybody deserves my vulnerability but the right people do and mostly honor it. I think the most important thing is to allow yourself to be vulnerable being alone! Not judging yourself for it, self-acceptance and compassion towards yourself is most important.

Vulnerability sends us beyond dualities of weakness and strength to open our capacity to paradoxically hold both within while moving forward, all the while supported by an inward stillness~ ✌

Thank you

Thank you for being you.

I feel that the root of the idea that men should not show any vulnerability/ emotion comes from the deeply ingrained view of stereotypically feminine traits being seen as inferior, and also the expectation that a woman needs to be protected because she is weak and therefore that role must be fulfilled by a fearless and 'strong' man. My view is that everyone has strengths and weaknesses irrespective of gender and i would not appreciate someone putting up a facade, as i would not trust them. Authenticity and mutual respect are deeply important to me, and these cannot exist where a person is lying about who they are and what they feel to try to live up to a remnant of an archaic behavoural expectation. Excellent video as always 😊

Thank you, you always open my eyes to new points of view. I find your videos interesting. I always wait for your videos, don't be late, please and I wish you Have a nice day :)❤

I really enjoy your videos 💕I would share my thoughts on this video when getting older we care less about what people think of us

Mr Engeinlizer is hot,the amount of ppl rushing to watch ur video is amazing,ur knowledge won't ever go out of style. As for me,my experience, i realize nobody cares.I was the most vulnerable person i realized ppl exploited me ,when i'm vulnerable thinking that i'm weak that i need them to survive, sometimes u become vulnerable not because u week ,but to have someone to listen to u, right now i'm the stronest,i ll be vulnerable when i have to,or where i feel like it's safe to be.

This reminds of Anita Moorjani's book "Sensitive is the New Strong". I haven't read it, but I'm sure it touches on the topic of this video too.

I had a Drill Sergeant in Basic Training. Exactly as tough as you would expect. But he told us, "Don't knock crying. I've had soldiers cry in front of me, and then immediately become stars of the unit."

thanks for your videos :)

thank you

Thank you for this ❤

True that , thanks

Thanks for video. Welcome for watching.

Thanks❤

Great I really hope you keep making good episodes like this 🌹🌹🌹🌹

Every step forward is a step. Every step backward is also a step. Even standing on one place is a step chosen. You need them to see who is going where.

i leran a lot, tks u

It has much to do with authenticity … the only beauty of human beeing is in authenticity i found out lately.. everything else is just a distorted expectarions from somebody else.. we symphatized with weak people not becouse we feel sorry for them, but becouse we see that they are honestly authentic to themselves which actually requires more courage then being “strong” couse we are all too vulnerable weak creatures

Hiiiii ❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 welcome back❤❤❤ thanks ❤❤❤❤❤

Transforming vulnerability into strength demands both wisdom and experience, which ironically requires embracing vulnerability. It's a challenging journey, akin to a warrior without armor. This warrior, scarred yet skilled, chooses mastery over protection, proving vulnerability doesn't equal weakness. In reality, it can be appealing, showcasing survival without layers of defense. However, it's not about recklessly exposing oneself to harm, which is foolishness, not bravery. In unavoidable interactions, showing calculated vulnerability may align more with our objectives. Yet, in seeking genuine connections, especially in dating, being open is key. Those who conceal their vulnerability often react negatively towards it in others, reflecting their own discomfort. In essence, true connection thrives on the courage to be vulnerable. Moreover, embracing vulnerability isn't a superficial tactic or a shortcut to confidence. Its authenticity is what renders it powerful. It can't be mimicked; the genuineness of vulnerability is its strength. This is because real vulnerability requires a level of self-awareness and courage that can't be fabricated. It's about showing up as you are, not as you think you should be. In a world that often values facades, choosing to be genuinely vulnerable is a defiant act of bravery.

The men being vulnerable part is a really good explanation of how patriarchy effects men.

Strength Always ! 🏆💪

Hey legend a video on how to cope with multiple chronic health conditions would be incredible. Especially using Stoicism.

The feeling of vulnerability is because I have built my own image from the past experiences. Vanity of the knowledge that I have acquired over the period. With all this I build wall around me to be completely safe. This is illusion that I live in the whole life.

vulnerability is a great tool to have and practice self liberation from layers of persona and shadow, however the key is to not take it personally when being vulnerable and then have people weaponize that vulnerability towards you in return. i believe there is a fine line between vulnerability and over sharing, there must be a level of wise discernment involved. just my opinion

i feel that it's easier for women to be vulnerable (emotionally) considering that there isn't such a social stigma for them as there is for men but i acknowledge the few women who do have trouble opening up due to their personal upbringing. it takes true strength to be yourself in a world that idealizes you before birth and to succumb to the world's idealization of who you should be is to forever live your life in fear. there are millions, if not, billions of people that live in fear everyday. to be vulnerable is to be alone; but true strength is found when those that live in fear aren't around to keep you from finding it

Live on the edge, come to the edge as you are. Leave as you be. Cultivate your inner-worlds and make them your reality. I’m not sure if many of you have been crippled by your own selves through artificially attributing a series of events to our human nature. Without first, even looking at what you yourself can first solve in the limited mindset of your perception. All I know is what I see, many people shackle themselves into their own chains before first trying something like finding the key in case they get hungry later.

Thanks

To err is human. School, parents and work tell us that mistakes are bad and pressure us into "being perfect". But take a step back and realize that everyone feels pressured, so do be the first to not pressure yourself and then not pressure others.

loving is being vulnerable for another being.

I found out that being vulnerable is a trap for others, you can easily know who they really are when you show yourself as you are. Also " they hate you as you really are, better than to love you as you are not". The problem is the truth can't be hidden for a long time, and we have played this game enough, the game which all players lose

I am a risk taker but come across as a meek individual. For some reason I prefer to flourish in the shadows. I put myself out there. It is all very complicated to say the least.

vulnerability is power!

Learn to be vunerable was so hard for me especially with the fact that i was an independent kid. Deep down i was a gentle good hearted kid but i hid this from the world bc i thought nobody would except me

It's probably the only thing I need to hear rn