Why You Have No Personality
Рет қаралды 2,039,651
Күн бұрынThis is how I developed more of a personality.
🚀 Self Mastery School - Meet ambitious people, develop unshakable confidence, and break the cycle of self-sabotage: cole-hastings.com/selfmastery
👨👩👦👦 Join my FREE self-improvement community: bit.ly/48SwuDN
📲 My Exclusive Content/Talk With Me 1-On-1: / colehastings
My Favorite Fiction Books:
Zorba The Greek: geni.us/CO4xB (Amazon)
Dune: geni.us/NYjWf (Amazon)
Ready Player One: geni.us/h6S3 (Amazon)
Want to learn more about developing social skills? Check out my playlist: • Improving Your Social ...
📚 MY BOOKS:
➤ My self help book "The Middle Way" (ebook version) : seasonedtofu.com/books/
➤ Paperback Version of "The Middle Way": geni.us/POKRBU (Amazon)
➤ High Protein Vegan Recipe E-Book: seasonedtofu.com/books/p/tlhh
💪 COACHING: seasonedtofu.com/coaching
👉 SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL: bit.ly/2qiessH
📱 CONNECT WITH ME:
➤ Instagram: / seasoned_tofu
➤ Twitter: / seasoned_tofu
➤ Twitch: / seasoned_tofu
➤ Podcast: seasonedtofu.com/podcast
➤ Discord: / discord
💻 HOW I EDIT MY VIDEOS:
Music I use (get 2 free months with a yearly subscription): bit.ly/3q3la2h
Transitions/Text Animations (drag and drop, easy to use for noobs): bit.ly/motionarray-colehastings
Stock Videos I use: bit.ly/3IIW3ZT
🎥 MY CAMERA GEAR:
➤ Camera: geni.us/Q2XQS (Amazon)
➤ All In One Lens: geni.us/1sfukDo (Amazon)
➤ Low Light/Blurry Background Lens: geni.us/cTrA (Amazon)
➤ Camera Microphone: geni.us/GyLNQi (Amazon)
➤ Nice Microphone (for sit down videos): geni.us/NkCkn3 (Amazon)
➤ Tripod: geni.us/tkn0QlQ (Amazon)
🕐 Timestamps:
Intro: 0:00
When I Realized I Had No Personality: 0:35
The 2 Biggest Factors For Personality: 3:16
Developing Passions And Interests: 3:45
Becoming A Better Storyteller: 6:57
How To Build Relationships With Others: 12:38
#personality #imtooboring #ihavenopersonality
i have no personality what do i do
how to develop more of a personality
how to have a personality
@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching everyone. If you want to learn more about becoming more sociable, check out my whole playlist on building relationships with others here: kzfaq.info/sun/PLgVZMuITSnetVwlL51dHinz1eReqrMNYG
@nathanramsundar2403 2 жыл бұрын
What did you use to learn html and java?
@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын
i think i started on codeacademy, then i just did trial and error through w3schools
@nathanramsundar2403 2 жыл бұрын
@@ColeHastings ok thanks alot really appreciate it
@renegroulx7029 2 жыл бұрын
I enjoyed the video, however, I wonder, are you a vampire? I see those fangs at the bottom, are they real?
@moritz3168 2 жыл бұрын
This feels like one of your best narrated videos of all time. Guess it was supposed to do that xD
@wingnutmcspazatron3957 Жыл бұрын
Have you ever seen those "boring, awkward" people get around their friends they've known for years? There's nothing boring or awkward about them. There's something holding them back in new situations.
@licelieutenant7435 9 ай бұрын
break down the last part for me 😸
@Diabolic9595 9 ай бұрын
I am boring, awkward. And yeah, i don't have any friends because of this
@zloypanda679 9 ай бұрын
Can relate to this.
@RIP_ZYZZ1738 9 ай бұрын
@@Diabolic9595You don't have friends because those things you say about yourself become true once you say them. They're not physical traits or something. So you manifest that energy once you characterized yourself as that
@Diabolic9595 9 ай бұрын
@@RIP_ZYZZ1738 Yeah, there are barriers in my head because of which my social skills suck. I started working with therapist. We'll see if it helps
@testosteronemastery 2 жыл бұрын
Being authentic and genuinely paying attention to when others talk will change your life… People can sense when they’re being listened to, and when you listen carefully, your words and conversations become so much more authentic. That’s when your personality will flourish. As always, great video, Cole.
@TheToNtTuToNy 2 жыл бұрын
100% this
@Mikey_Anthony Жыл бұрын
Totally, that’s basically the only way to truly build connection. This also weeds out the inauthentic, closed off, superficial type people. They can’t hold deep convos like that. Authentic/open minded people thrive and engage more in those kind of discussions.
@galumptiouspotato9989 Жыл бұрын
True. I find my hangouts 1 on 1 much more authentic because we both listen to each other and even laugh about things we talked about a while ago.
@ivansoto9723 Жыл бұрын
@@galumptiouspotato9989 I don't know why but I'm very sociable 1 on 1 but find it really hard to be part of a conversation between 3 people. I often find myself becoming a 3rd wheel the moment they talk about something I don't understand or really care about. Like a tv show or game I haven't seen or played or some experience only they shared.
@galumptiouspotato9989 Жыл бұрын
@@ivansoto9723 I know what you mean fs. Now I just realize it’s ok not being relatable or always having something to say, I just wait until I have input.
@nathan1507 Жыл бұрын
My "personality" revolved around my mother. It was always about impressing her, not making her mad, avoiding beatings, doing things that she could brag about to aunties etc. No sleepover, no parties, no hanging out, hell I didn't have social connection outside classes, all because she wanted to "protect me." One day I realized I had nothing to talk about other than school stuff and my mom. To all young ladies out there, pleeeaasseee let your future son have a life outside your supervision:(
@spacewalker7520 Жыл бұрын
People like us are doomed.
@DavidS-xu3pm Жыл бұрын
@@spacewalker7520 facts
@VasterLordUlquiorra 9 ай бұрын
буквально описания "сына корзинка"
@nates_80 9 ай бұрын
I can relate. Glad to know there are people out there like me.
@yafilmme6160 8 ай бұрын
@@kanyedafuccincreator don’t worry you’re gonna get better
@user-uy4ot4ij3y Жыл бұрын
As a born introvert with social anxiety, within the past year I began going to social events more and getting into the motion of things. I learned to just go up and talk to people. Now I can say that I don't shy away like I used to, and I can keep up with small talk pretty well. The problem I learned was that I would eventually run out of things to say after 15 mins. I lack passions, I'm not opinionated, and thus my personality is weak. I struggle to form proper relationships with people, and hope this video will help me out.
@aranciata2704 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, you are not alone. I've always struggled to make deep connections with people because I always had few interests and would lose my passion for most things, and I always try to observe others in hopes that I will learn how to be like them and know what they are interested in, but at the end of the day, I just realize that Im hollow inside. So I guess we should find what we really love doing in life and stop caring about messing it up, I believe in you
@kklap3219 11 ай бұрын
Keep in mind that its not just up to you to have things to say. If theres an awkward silence, it means the other person doesnt have anything to say either. People that share common interests rarely feel like this, because they actively do, or want to do, stuff together. Just talking for the sake of talking is never gonna lead anywhere
@rustr3780 10 ай бұрын
Same. I’m good at starting something with small talk but I can never develop a relationship further because I run out of things to express and talk about that the other person would be receptive to. Then it all fizzles out and I’m back to square one 😢
@thepastarat 6 ай бұрын
If you can hold a conversation for 15 minutes, that's nothing to complain about. Not every conversation needs to last for hours. If you've both said everything you feel like saying, tell them you enjoyed talking with them and go do something else. Also, not being opinionated doesn't mean you have a weak personality, it just means your personality isn't opinionated. Nothing wrong with that.
@nickreaper6624 5 ай бұрын
Wtf is a born introvert 💀
@romangonzalezadrianmaurici6302 2 жыл бұрын
Boring is very subjective, a scientist could bore to death a musician, a fighter could bore to death an engineer. We all like different things, there are lots of people out there, there are god tips on this video but don´t be to hard to yourself, everyone is interesting in their own way.
@prayk11 2 жыл бұрын
The storytelling skill is important for everybody though. Everyone have some kind of personality, but that won't matter much if you can't express yourself.
@michalgabriel9647 Жыл бұрын
Thats why you need to become a scientist, musician, fighter... etc. The point of this video is that you find teh things you like and develop them
@YonkoAgenda Жыл бұрын
Great point, it's all about perspective
@rd-lw4td Жыл бұрын
@@prayk11 people's stories bore me. No thanks. I like conversations.
@Checkmate777 Жыл бұрын
That’s true but at the same time as a person you have to be talking to someone else you have to somewhat be listening and responding to them. If you are always talking to people out of your own accord people will get bored. A person who only talks about science is cool for maybe like 45 minutes and then it’s like alright let’s move on.
@jdubs681 2 жыл бұрын
Totally nailed it talking about how you have to take an interest you have and work on increasing your skills around that thing. Like when I play/make music. Learning music software is super frustrating. But my enjoyment in making my own music drives me to keep learning what I need to get better. That’s how passions are born
@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын
Great explanation
@wooyaa8152 2 жыл бұрын
Nothing quite like trying to get your cpu to take putting 152 serums in ableton
@euvoric 2 жыл бұрын
i also have gotten skilled at learning music software but my pure enjoyment of creating keeps me going
@goopbrain8919 2 жыл бұрын
I've been playing the guitar for the last 8 months and I look at the instrument more like a keyboard. Visualizing the scales and chords on the fretboard. It's gotten me far quickly but I've also wanted to dabble with some software, do you have any recommendations? Free or paid
@gael44444 2 жыл бұрын
@@wooyaa8152 why would you ever need that many serums
@J_Pizzle4shizzle Жыл бұрын
I can honestly say you develop your personality when you take time to find yourself , when you socialize more ,and surround yourself with people who like you for who you are when you’re genuine and real, and the things you’re passionate about are a big factor
@Yusa_Beach 8 ай бұрын
Key points, but imo the main factor is spending time with yourself, doing what you like to do and exposing yourself to all things so that they may develop within yourself.
@jamespbfit Жыл бұрын
Having “no personality” is a personality. Don’t fall into this lexical/conceptual trap. Spend time accepting and loving yourselves. Before you know it you’ll either create or find your way into an environment where your “personality” will be valued and allowed to shine.
@MgelikaXevi Жыл бұрын
you mean, "eventually someone gonna call a boring dude\girl who has no passions and no topics to talk about - interesting"? There are people who are actually empty, and then there are people who just fail to express themselves. There is a chance for the second group (and somebody who has time for them -could discover their hidden passions) , but the first one will not be "valued" and will not shine.
@jamespbfit Жыл бұрын
@@MgelikaXevi what do you mean by empty? Assuming you equate emptiness to lack of hobbies/areas of interest, I don’t believe any human being has the capacity to “become empty”. Some people may seem to like that but it’s usually because they lack insight into themselves and/or the world around them.
@Grandmaster-Kush Жыл бұрын
@@MgelikaXevi I doubt any self proclaimed personalityless person is as such, the only way to become like that is through severe trauma or mental health issues. People who never found their passion or learned to express themselves can do so later in life, they will always be boring or in the background but by no means empty or void of value.
@anasebrahim3382 Жыл бұрын
@@MgelikaXevi I don’t think some people are just empty. Every human has a personality. The supposed people we find that are empty on the inside just have their personality covered by a hard shell and when they follow the first tip in the video they will eventually slowly uncover their personality, like a locked character in a rpg game. Also the main comment’s first line is bogus. Every human’s experiences, beliefs, environment, insight shape their personality. A human having no personality is impossible. If someone says you have no personality either you haven’t opened up your own personality, or you haven’t expressed it properly(both are covered in the video) OR the person who said that doesn’t value your personality, if that’s the case you have to find a new person who values your personality more(this is also covered in the video but just briefly)
@jamespbfit Жыл бұрын
@@anasebrahim3382 how is the first line of my comment bogus? I literally implied what you just said now in that very first line I wrote.
@imnotusingmyrealname4566 2 жыл бұрын
Probably the highest quality self-improvement content out there.
@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын
haha thanks but i wouldnt say that. We will get there eventually though
@imnotusingmyrealname4566 2 жыл бұрын
@@ColeHastings I was just absolutely enchanted by that story you told!
@suu964 2 жыл бұрын
@@ColeHastings it really is , one of the best videos i have watched in along time glad i knew your channel
@wars4242 2 жыл бұрын
@@suu964 any other channels you recommand?
@suu964 2 жыл бұрын
@@wars4242 i find muchelleb also really good , it might be confusing at first but have patience her channel is amazing i got fed up with all the same bs each time ppl talk about self development i find cole and muchelleb the best right now
@BitchChill 2 жыл бұрын
Everyone has a personality. There's no such thing as having less or more of a personality. People are just how they are
@nKarje 2 жыл бұрын
It's a figure of speech. By saying someone has no personality, it means they are boring/uninteresting. Obviously everyone has a personality.
@nKarje 2 жыл бұрын
@@SimpxSlayer-Police Who are you talking to?
@SimpxSlayer-Police 2 жыл бұрын
@@nKarje People should respect how other people go about their lives. Dont be toxic and negative to others for being too serious or acting a way you dont like. My bad I erased the name i replied. But its a rude figure of speech
@noeyedgirl 2 жыл бұрын
But you can have a "weak" personality. One that's not very intensely expressive. It's possible to alter your personality to an extent, to become more socially pleasant or exciting.
@simeonstefanov8511 2 жыл бұрын
i am not sure about that. i can say certainly that some people are basically an npcs i mean they cant be real people they are that boring
@Unhingedclips927 Жыл бұрын
I think one of the biggest problems in the modern social construct is the negative associations with certain passions. For example being into Magic the Gathering makes you a dork, bodybuilding makes you egotistical, and playing the trumpet is weird. It’s difficult to wear you passion if 90% of people will make negative assumptions. I feel that the lack of positive reinforcement is the reason a lot of people quit. Support ur friends guys.
@mr.pigeons1066 7 ай бұрын
what is Magic the Gathering
@mattkugelman4369 6 ай бұрын
@@mr.pigeons1066it’s a card game
@trolleriffic 5 ай бұрын
@@mr.pigeons1066 It's a card game that turns you into a dork and consumes all your money.
@crumbopulis 4 ай бұрын
You could have saved ourself the paragraph if you realized that not one person on this planet gives a single shit about what you do. Scratch friends and family, but we can’t choose our family and no friend will shit on you for your random bs
@violetsapph1 4 ай бұрын
Really well said! Though I also think that some of the lack of positive reinforcement comes from within. If you were good at something, upped your league and then realize you’re now mediocre, you may lose passion or interest. There’s also the motivation from “proving people wrong” but that’s boring. I think keeping a childlike sense of wonder, excitement, and optimism about your potential can lead you to eliteness in a hobby, even if you never actually had any talent to begin with
@bourne8636 Жыл бұрын
It’s not the fact that they don’t have a personality, it’s the fact that their afraid to show it.
@SL-wt8fm Жыл бұрын
True
@SimGunther 2 жыл бұрын
If someone says "you got no personality" even after you tell a compelling and emotional story like some of the best orators and comedians, then they think height and genetics = personality. But, that's okay because the universe opened a door to another better friendship to embrace.
@noah1st2everdoit 2 жыл бұрын
don’t lie to yourself, it’s unlikely someone will say you have no personality just because your short or ugly, you have to be more positive and give off good vibes if you want to be liked.
@eatthetree348 2 жыл бұрын
what the fuck did i just read
@Yusa_Beach 2 жыл бұрын
@@eatthetree348 Some part of a truth.
@zangetsu1597 2 жыл бұрын
@@noah1st2everdoit That's the problem with many young people these days. Caring too much about being liked as opposed to just being themselves and being comfortable with that. I'm 24 and all of the friends I made growing up were by me just being myself. I'm introverted and quiet, but when I hear a conversation that interests I hop in regardless of whether I've been invited or not. Sometimes I come out of it with an acquaintance turned friend. I feel this whole "going into situations with a format of 'how to be liked' is so backwards and just causes more unnecessary stress in the long-run." To be liked should be akin to not trying. End of story.
@Fr0zenPeanut 2 жыл бұрын
@@zangetsu1597 Oh how I wish I could just be myself and feel comfortable with that, but I'm afraid that will never be an option for me. I'm gay and I live in a homophobic shithole in southeast Europe. I've spent most of my life hating myself and wishing I could just disappear; I don't have any friends or relationships and I know most of my family would shun me if they found out.
@TheSystemIsFlawed 2 жыл бұрын
I'm in such a gridlocked situation. I remember getting mocked or outright bullied for expressing passion about things ("Shut up, nobody cares!"), so I told myself to bottle up and talk about safe, external things only. That led to me not becoming passionate about anything and shying away from delving deep into interests. Now I struggle with self-consciousness and perfectionism because I imagine one awkward or off-color statement gets me labeled as The Weirdo and I DO NOT want to be The Weirdo. Videos like this and intense therapy are helping melt the ice a bit but man am I in deep.
@dorianhardy8239 Жыл бұрын
Hey, you story hit me. I know how it can be tough to try to fit in, etc. I'd advice you to start practicing meditation regularly and seriously. It's very likely that it'll change your life. There are several other things you can do, of course. You could cure your phone addiction or start doing what Cole says in this video. Meditation seems to be the key to freedom, success and happiness. Don't give up on self improvement if you are on. Keep pushing through struggles. I can't tell you it's not going to be easy to do all the things you know you should do but that you don't do, but I can tell you this: it will be worth the sacrifice. (I think you can be stuck in self improvement, in some way, that's why I'm saying this. All love.) Wish you the best👊❤️
@rmg6497 Жыл бұрын
Wtf... Nailed it perfectly... I am not interested in anything anymore.. And the stuff my livelihood depends on is boring af. Massive crisis have to distract myself as much as possible with drinking and stuff...
@zegmakker5869 Жыл бұрын
best not to engage with shallow people like that, they suck all the life and intelligence out of any conversation they participate in
@MgelikaXevi Жыл бұрын
The opposite part of your personality - are the people around (coz, there is no "personality" in a vacuum where nothing happens) . So first you develop yourself, then you change the environment, then new environments changes you more, etc. Otherwise you gonna be shaped according to that initial social circle (thanks God if it is a good circle with plenty of decent people, but it could be the other way). If you doing something meaningful, but people around are indifferent - then try to establish connection to another group of ppl. When I was into martial arts - i did not tried to tell everyone about it, I talked to my buddies from our club. When I got into programming - i wasn`t trying to give passionate speeches about programming to random dudes\girls from previous circle - i was networking with people who had an idea what i am doing. I assume that at one point i might become passionate enough to spark an interest in someone who has nothing to do with programming, but it is not my concern right now. When it comes - it comes. Now I am on "normal difficulty" talking to people who are interested in similar topics, while I am becoming professional in my field. If I start to be everything at once, and then meet a bored looks of ppl who never heard of programming - it might damage my ability to progress on this path. So for now I am on "passion developing", not on the story teller part.
@travis3430 Жыл бұрын
Whoever mocked you, doesn't respect you... therefore cut them out of your life if you are able to or as soon as you're able to. That's what I've done to ppl as much as I can to the ppl I know don't respect me for being myself
@chak_dz6961 Жыл бұрын
"you don't find your passion, you make your passion", this hits me really deep
@pathfinder011 Жыл бұрын
"Tú no encuentras tu pasión. Tú haces tu pasión" No sabes lo mucho que mejorará mi vida eso.
@painuchiha2694 2 жыл бұрын
Having a passion will strengthen your opinions on that which u like and having opinions will help express your personality. But having passion isn’t necessarily having a personality A personality is a bunch of reactions of a specific person. You can predict how someone reacts to things based on their personality. If someone is generally angry and reacts angrily,you may not want to joke around him. Some people are calm and that is their personality,they may not say anything but that’s how they chose to react Nonereaction is still reacting because you chose to say nothing rather than create more drama to whatever situation You can change someone’s personality by telling them to be more outgoing less reserved but I don’t believe in not having a personality at all. Being calm reserved and less outgoing is not a bad personality or a lack of it but it might become a weakness if you need to express yourself for a job or whatever. Telling people to change personality may be a double edge sword if they feel inadequate for being what they are,they might force unpleasant cringy interaction to try please others. I don’t believe in changing personality but just improving what’s already there,maybe you can interact to situations better while keeping your authenticity,having a better vocabulary and choosing the right wording can help express yourself better in more ways that suits you
@mario125ww 2 жыл бұрын
I see your pov but I disagree. Personality has been proven to change over time. For example, only 20% of people are shy genetically meaning that most people who are shy do so because of environment. Same thing with introversion and extroversion. Judging people based off of stats is ironically just as bad as telling people to be change who than are. People change over time. I for one have changed by personality at least twice. As a kid I was super outgoing and hot headed, then I became shy and calm now i went back to being hot heated and outgoing.
@elvararchfeld9734 2 жыл бұрын
yes, one's personality changing is most definitely possible, hence character development. I myself for example used to be a pseudo intellectual, but i have changed much over the years. It's just that telling someone to 'change their personality' would simply be a silly thing to do and if someone tries to _force_ themselves to be something that they're _not,_ that wouldn't be true change. Or, y'know.. As they say, fake it till you make it. 😆 I mean damn, there was even one guy going on about how you can reach higher levels of consciousness, and once you reach the highest level, you can just at will reprogram yourself to have whatever personality, personality traits, mannerisms and behaviorisms you wish, but that's a different topic entirely. Everything else you said was spot on.
@elvararchfeld9734 2 жыл бұрын
Everything i just said is irrelevant because of this, lol... To quote myself: "I think the main issue here really is that we're using different definitions of the word 'personality' and i don't mean personal definitions: 3: "habitual patterns and qualities of behavior of any individual as expressed by physical and mental activities and attitudes; distinctive individual qualities." 4: "a) the sum of such qualities seen as being capable of making, or likely to make, a favorable impression on other people. b) [colloq.] Personal attractiveness; engaging manner or qualities.""
@michaelatorn8380 2 жыл бұрын
having a passion will increase doubt, the more you learn, the more you realize you know nothing.
@FDE-fw1hd 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like personality is more how you think than what you do
@CarDrawingsByErik 2 жыл бұрын
I always loved drawing cars but I kind of stopped drawing in my early 20's because I didn't think I was talented enough. It took me at least 10 years to get back to it, and thanks to instagram I have seen super talented guys and their drawings. I told myself that I could do the same or even better if I practiced a lot. Now 8 years and 200+ drawings later I teach people how I draw cars, and they pay for my knowledge. I finally see (at age 39) what I want to do every day.
@rasheemthebestfirstone3274 2 жыл бұрын
Damn 💪🏽👏🏽
@j.6267 2 жыл бұрын
Thats beautiful.
@hanarielgodlike9283 2 жыл бұрын
As a fellow artist i saw your work and my jaw droped LOL Dude your cars are amazing. Have you tought about doing a voice over tutorial? XD
@CarDrawingsByErik 2 жыл бұрын
@@hanarielgodlike9283 thanks. I'm doing those videos for my Patreon already 😎
@orangecat9559 2 жыл бұрын
holy shit your drawings are impressive
@d.mavridopoulos66 9 ай бұрын
Man my interests have been a huge hindrance in life. While I enjoy reading literature, philosophy, history playing the guitar, going on hiking or cycling trips, my acquaintances are just into football and gambling. Throw in an occasional NETFLIX series, and that's it. You've completed a circumference of their mental sphere, explored every inch of their intellectual territory. As Orwell observed almost a century ago, people tend to lose their individuality after the age of 30, and voluntarily submerge their noblest faculties into whatever fad seems to appeal to the herd at any given time period. Standing out like the proverbial injured thumb will admittedly get you attention, but not *necessarily* the kind that you crave.
@dicksoncyprian9511 3 ай бұрын
MAN THE WAY YOU TELL STORY IS AMAIZING
@soioioioioioio34 29 күн бұрын
Nah he sucks f him
@Mecca188 2 жыл бұрын
You and I were the same in high school I wasn’t interesting at all and whenever I was with my friends they always knew a lot of people and I didn’t ,I was always the guy that’s was just there and not noticed . I’m 23 and I’m still like this so I need to create my passion as well and work on my confidence to communicate with people more . Great video Cole
@BryMakesArt 2 жыл бұрын
I believe in you. Take baby steps every day to improve and you'll feel better sooner than later!
@Mecca188 2 жыл бұрын
@@BryMakesArt thanks man ✊🏿💯
@misstrunchbull3953 2 жыл бұрын
Right there with you bud
@thekaran7683 2 жыл бұрын
that's literally me rn and I'm 15
@thokozanikwinda1513 2 жыл бұрын
you're not alone bro. we're literally the same
@gauravdeep 2 жыл бұрын
1. Build passion and skills. - Explore things - Get Deep into things so that you can talk about them as long as you like 2. Learn to tell a story - learn from the experts by observing them (Comedians, speaker etc) - Read fiction to enhance your vocabulary
@gauravdeep 2 жыл бұрын
Also try to engage with people, social interaction will develop your story telling skills.
@ales3880 5 ай бұрын
yeah, that works on people which are also interactive and have good questions and same humour, otherwise there is no chance for me. I have to have my tribe to really match and show my personality, but thats for everyone who is honest and dont put mask i think
@gauravdeep 5 ай бұрын
@@ales3880 Not everyone needs to see your personality you know, especially the people you don't vibe with. So, it's good as long as you know you have a personality to share with the people you care about and actually want to hang out with.
@user-gp8zo7rp7x 5 ай бұрын
ok, but why? lmao
@gauravdeep 5 ай бұрын
@@user-gp8zo7rp7x So that when you grow old you don't end up being an alone, miserable and grumpy man and people starts cutting you off.
@darkrom8439 4 ай бұрын
honestly Im fine alone, I dont like people anyway especially at this day and age
@Lovely_slime Ай бұрын
Yeah, I have tried. To talk to people. I hate this world
@nikolaj4978 5 ай бұрын
Guys If someone thinks you are "boring" just ignore them it is not worth trying to suit others expectations, behave the way you are find comfortable for you.
@Ihave10billionsubs 5 ай бұрын
Bingo. This stupid video is basically just trying to teach people to conform, though not saying it explicitly.
@arelixxro 2 жыл бұрын
I have no personality to the point where I steal other ppls personality’s. Their laugh, their voice. It’s weird
@creeperkingdom3190 2 жыл бұрын
same
@hosnemir3201 2 жыл бұрын
Borderline Personality Disorder???
@uatcgfhdhu 2 жыл бұрын
I just took the "Take a little of all the things you like to make your own style" drawing advice, and use it to make a personality. Didn't work, now i'm a mess of random stuff.
@Alex25. 7 ай бұрын
that s a good thing,people think "copying other people" is bad and that authenticy is all that matter but if you try to copy someone you find confident around people,you can t fully copy them,at this point it s your own style of doing that,so it s wrong to say you re copying them.
@Alex25. 7 ай бұрын
@@uatcgfhdhuit should be "take all the good things from people around you"
@kaushikdr 2 жыл бұрын
i feel like personality is more about how you respond and interact in a conversation - I find that being as genuine and honest as possible in your responses and asking questions you are actually curious about lead to conversations where you can express your inner feelings better. I have been told by others that I am a quite a character, but I feel like only 20% of my conversations are about my passions.
@asafoetidajones8181 Жыл бұрын
I've met interesting, thoughtful people with no hobbies and a general omnivorous and indistinct content diet, and unusual looking people witn dozens of hobbies and the personality of cottage cheese
@serenhex 6 ай бұрын
I’ve come to the realization that us as people love storytelling. Whether it’s simply gossiping, watching shows, movies, music, etc, they’re all stories.
@dominicciasullo2516 Жыл бұрын
This has to be the best personality self improvement video I've watched. Actually makes sense and is to the point
@confierking 2 жыл бұрын
I think reading fiction books was the best thing that helped me develop my humor and good storytelling, I'm glad you included that!
@agoogleuseranonymous2658 Жыл бұрын
For women honestly this video is almost pointless. They don't need any of that.
@felyortiz6 Жыл бұрын
what types of books would you recommend
@tundeuk Жыл бұрын
@@agoogleuseranonymous2658 They do if they want to catch Chad or Tyrone.
@MrEysox Жыл бұрын
How does reading fiction books help you develop your humor ?
@agoogleuseranonymous2658 Жыл бұрын
@@felyortiz6 Don't ever take a woman's advice on that honestly. Go check out some what the pickup artists have to say. Always listen to the fisherman ... never the fish.
@rifkywageyo477 2 жыл бұрын
Hey Cole Hastings, I'm 14 Years old And i'm from indonesia i just wanna tell you that. You're changed my life, now i creating good habits, stop fitting in and stop caring what others thinking about me. Now i love doing what i love, like i apologized to my parents what i done to them and now i live harmony with them. Also i stop fit in and now i have 4 true friends, i walk in nature, enjoying view. I just wanna say thank you for changing for my life and sorry for bad english. Edit 26 june : i mean i stop try to fitting in if i dont fit, i fit people that if they want to fit me. And surround yourself who get you, dont forget the biggest happiness is having a deep connection relationship to others (friend,girlfriend,family)
@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын
Love to hear i helped. You are the one that put in the work though, you should be proud
@rifkywageyo477 2 жыл бұрын
@@ColeHastings Yessir, Keep the good work man!
@ateeqroomy8415 2 жыл бұрын
The fact that you're 14 and already smart enough and working on yourself is great man!!! I'm 17 and I'm trying my best too. I hope you get to wherever you want to be!
@pragyankakati3092 Жыл бұрын
You are so sweet...at 14 i was literally a weird kid..i'm still a weird person..but as i'm 18 i'm a weird adult now...lol doesn't it feel awesome when we behave/react how we wanna behave/react without thinking a lot
@Windermed Жыл бұрын
as someone who's 16, seeing your comment is inspiring to me as someone who wants to change and stop caring about what others think. i'm really glad his videos helped you, and hopefully i, too can put in the work to make my life better for myself.
@g.3521 Жыл бұрын
I live with my dad and have never made a joke or expressed myself around him. Any time I get excited or take more than a couple sentences to say something he shuts me down immediately. When I'm with my mom or sister I have no problems with my personality, but I feel like it is an automatic reflex to not even smile around my dad
@MaseraSteve Жыл бұрын
Well unfortunately i have 2 family member with same attitude and 0 supportive members, i got massive impostor syndrome i literally doubt myself what about you?
@Merlinfoop Жыл бұрын
this is relatable. around my father I cannot express myself without him making some unsupportive comment.
@yeastinchampagne440 Жыл бұрын
I love the genuineness you pour in your videos.
@MorriganJade 2 жыл бұрын
Speaking about "Developing a Passion" "So Good They Can't Ignore You", a book by Cal Newport. He goes in depth about it.
@macewindu6853 2 жыл бұрын
Opposite issue, I have a personality but people are assholes to me. I’ve learned to be myself in the best way, and I can be pretty goofy. I’m not overly annoying, but people continue to be assholes to me
@vicki11edbycuriousity 2 жыл бұрын
F them. You sound fun to be around in my book.
@LorettaBangBang 2 жыл бұрын
Find better people
@macewindu6853 2 жыл бұрын
@@LorettaBangBang I do, they always find me
@thomasffrench3639 2 жыл бұрын
Hey man, seems you are living your best life. Next time people are assholes just say “take a seat, Skywalker”
@donanderson3520 Жыл бұрын
Tell them to fuck off
@boejiden7093 Жыл бұрын
I had pretty much no personality in high school either. Very much a fly on the wall kinda person. But when things would need someone to step in or volunteer, i’d always offer a hand. Cole, much like you, I had a cord hitting experience except mine was the girl telling me “You don’t matter. People like you never matter.” Man that set me off. But looking back, that was the best thing that happened. It was the push we all need but don’t like.
@CharnHorpee Жыл бұрын
Great video! This connected a lot of dots in life for me. I’ve never felt short on personality, but storytelling has been a weak point in my life. That contrast can sometimes leave me feeling like I’d be better off not even TRYING to tap into my identity. Storytelling is a universal skill that everybody should have if they want to deepen their ability to reflect, connect with people, and just breathe more excitement out into the world. Love it
@kolter00 2 жыл бұрын
Great video & great storytelling Cole. It’s important to remember your passions are YOURS and you don’t need to worry about what other people will say about them. Dive in & go deep. Thanks again Cole appreciate what you do bro 🙏🏽
@ulysses7157 2 жыл бұрын
For me I didn't have much of a personality at first after high school (Fell into a depression for 3 years) till I decided to in my free time start writing stories just so I won't be cooped up only playing videogames and watching anime. I wasn't good at it at all but I felt a little spark about it and practiced it every so often. What sparked it in the beginning was my love for all the stories from American Cartoons (Avatar last air bender and samurai jack), Anime and manga (FMA:B, Afro Samurai, and berserk) and from videogames (Legacy of Kain, The humorous and fun writing of the ratchet and clank series, Bioshock, Jack 2 and 3, etc...) and not to mention LOTR trilogy movie. It wasn't me just loving them as is but the writing and world building in it that really put a smile on my face and made me go "Know what? maybe I should write something of my own." and then bam I've been doing it ever since and practicing on my skills. It's literally the one thing I do every time I get my breaks during hours work. I will literally talk for HOURS on end about writing and worldbuilding and referencing all the great stories I loved in my childhood as proof. Thing is I hated reading and writing during school and always had sub par grades on it (Getting C's and D's mostly) but coming back to it and learning on my own terms I've loved it so much.
@anthonynguyen1289 2 жыл бұрын
Gosh this video and comment are what I needed right now. I’ve always had some kind of small interest in story telling, but I despised writing in school and just came to a conclusion that I wouldn’t be a good writer. I definitely think I should try writing now especially since I’m in that depressive episode of college
@sentinelprime5728 5 ай бұрын
I think I may start to write my own stories too
@boratsagdiyev522 4 ай бұрын
@@sentinelprime5728I like to smoke weed, write about that
@pedroalgo3990 Жыл бұрын
I totally agree with you. I was working and studying my whole life but nothing of what I did filled me up till i started doing community service and speaking up about RESOLVING issues in my community.
@wompstopm123 4 ай бұрын
i do have a personality, im just not loud and obnoxious.
@hjackbull 2 жыл бұрын
I appreciate your thought process in selecting ideas for videos which aren’t covered by the mainstream and also the fact that you give out advice that we can put into action right away. I’ve watched a lot of your videos and your uniqueness really strikes out
@kamodo2299 2 жыл бұрын
This type of stuff pains me, like i do truly want to better myself, and someday i will utilize this advice after i have my current focuses down, but it seems like for so many things i need to put forward an extraordinary amount of time and effort to even approach how normal people are. It seems like I'm just so far behind so many others socially it just hurts.
@Pointlessuser222 2 жыл бұрын
I’m the same too your not alone 😞
@sirumugaivijayalakshmi7181 2 жыл бұрын
Same bro
@Void-qz1zd Жыл бұрын
Same. Doesn't make any sense to me.
@MrEysox Жыл бұрын
I get what you mean, but that's actually a reason to work even harder ! You will be proud once you will see how far you've come
@kamodo2299 Жыл бұрын
@@MrEysox Thanks man! I sure hope so, it seems like a goal that is always 6 months away, but I just need to trust the process
@thisdude9363 Жыл бұрын
If you think you need to "develop your personality," just like any other self-improvement thing in life, make sure you're doing it for you. Because YOU want to improve. When you try to "improve" purely for the sake of what you *think* other people perceive as better, you'll only be creating a facade. Whether its working on lacking social skills, learning a new skill, finding a new hobby, starting to exercise, or just trying new things, do it for yourself first.
@chrisgschwendtner1718 Жыл бұрын
I'm going through a rough breakup of 4.5 years and am searching for myself. I realize I have no personality and my hobbies/interests are basically watching TV (especially since covid). I too am an introvert but will really keep these steps in mind to develop a passion and become a better storyteller.
@WalkinChristum 2 жыл бұрын
Great video Cole ! recently just found your channel, and it's truly a gem for any men out there.
@zangetsu1597 2 жыл бұрын
Think this should apply to anyone tbh.
@chiemxerxobi 2 жыл бұрын
@@zangetsu1597 there's something here that relates specifically to men. Often a lot of our perceived value comes from our personality, while girls can go by with their looks.
@myyuhhhe7543 2 жыл бұрын
You are not serious. 🫤
@mede201 2 жыл бұрын
@@chiemxerxobi yeah but not every girl is beautiful, so they also have to develop a personality
@snoopy4554 2 жыл бұрын
@@chiemxerxobi i'd say it's not the personality but what he has achieved instead
@CevaPls Жыл бұрын
Dude i love your videos, i play music (guitar bass and drums) since age 12 (now im 26) believing i found my passion, but it wasnt until this year where i got dumped and started really studyin music theory, daily practicing and learning digital music mastering and thus began my proyect of creating my own music that i started to understand exactly what you said in this video, but i wasnt until i saw this video that this wisdom really settled in. Almost every self improving youtuber talks nonsense, but you talk so much truth and i could identify myself in you, thanks for your videos and keep going on man, you are awesome.
@ganibattlebeard Жыл бұрын
This gotta be the kind of content an NPC consumes when they run out of dialogue options
@ColeHastings Жыл бұрын
😭
@hellobez 2 жыл бұрын
Cole, how do your story telling skills get utilized in your video creation process? Do you actually write out full scripts of your videos word by word or have you leveled up your story telling to the point where you can just follow a thread of chronological bullet points and talk freely off the top?
@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын
I write full scripts word by word. Sometimes theres some improv
@suu964 2 жыл бұрын
@@ColeHastings it shows , your words are so eloquent
@homesickmadeit 2 жыл бұрын
I love all your videos bro, I lost my older brother when I was 13 and you give me the advice I think he would’ve if he was still here. Much love man, keep up the great work
@jah_sama5624 2 жыл бұрын
hope you're doing well.
@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын
Much love, im sure your brother would be very proud of you
@homesickmadeit 2 жыл бұрын
@@ColeHastings Thank you man, I appreciate it
@mrgreenboy644 Жыл бұрын
May your brother rest in peace.
@JeanMarvin2000 Жыл бұрын
About the storytelling part, I'm personally also not somebody who talks a lot and I recognize every time that people overdramatic and expand the things that they experienced to the degree that there are many thing that actually didn't happen. For me personally I could never do this, because I feel that this is lying and I wouldn't feel good about it. Maybe it would be more interesting for the other persons to listen to those storys, but I would feel very bad If i did that. I also feel very weird, when someone is telling such a story, when I was with them in that moment, then I can't add something to the conversation because I don't want to expose or destroy the story. It's a big problem for me :/
@jacoblagorio7345 Жыл бұрын
I feel that this video goes against what society has been teaching us recently, which is to accept ourselves and not to change ourselves for other people. In Cole's case, he heard the people in his English class act surprised about learning he has passion for something. This seemed to be a class for a subject in which he was uninterested. As such, of course the people in the class would not see some explosion of passion from him until he linked this class project with things he was passionate about. But, once he heard that the people were surprised that he actually had passion for something, he then became suddenly aware that he had no personality.... This is incorrect, as we know that he had passion, just not for English. I suppose what I am getting at is that we should not treat a lack of passion as a problem. Society, in general, seems to say that we should only want to improve ourselves if we want to. I shouldn't be changing myself so that people like me more. I should want to change myself so that I like myself more. I decided to lose weight, so that I would like how I look (to myself) and feel better, not so that other people would like me more. In that sense, I hope that people like me for who I am, not because I forced my style and personality to change, so that those people would like me. Self improvement is a good thing for sure, but I almost feel a little bad for the gentleman in the story who went through so much to practice and force this change in his own personality, just so he could impress this crush. While I understand wanting to impress a crush, I more or less believe that if your crush dislikes you, when you are acting like your true self, then you should NOT go and change yourself just to appeal to this person.
@skunkess Жыл бұрын
No yeah you’re 100% right the greatest personality is someone who is just disliked for no real reason.. they just express their true authentic self without issue and it makes people feel threatened? Or it just pulls out their own insecurities
@Tiogar60 2 жыл бұрын
about the passion thing, i partly disagree. Passion can be something you find, it depends on your underlying personality traits. If you are familiar with the big 5 personality traits, you know the trait openness is associated with creativity. And that creativity is often something you don't control, as it generates its own ideas, and finding those ideas is a part of finding ones passion. But even then, when you find it you may not initially be that passionate about it, as i agree that passion is something you build over time. I discovered that through doing many different creative things, and even getting quite good at some, but always running into a wall because my head just wasn't generating ideas which is crucial for creating new things, and putting so much time into a hobby which isn't satisfying your creative need when you are a creative is soul-draining. So if you are creative, or just generally get a lot of ideas and have a tendency to daydream, try to listen to those ideas. It is a monster you can't control. If you are less creative, I'm not sure. I can guess that as long as it interests you, you can develop some sort of passion for it.
@TheSheepster 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah! Listen to the ideas, then you can create stuff from them! Passion is something you find AND create further.
@paul3734 2 жыл бұрын
If you personally lack the creative element, there is nothing stopping you from sourcing ideas from others, putting your own spin on them and cumulatively building your experience to open the door to more creative ideas.
@jhhwild 2 жыл бұрын
The thing about storytelling is that when someone pressures me to come up with a story I don't have one but I can tell one if it comes up naturally during conversation. It's like when someone just straight up asks me a question I need time to think about it which is rare during conversation. I can type out a story easily because I have time to think but in the heat of the moment I don't have time to think so I don't have the right words right away. It's why I'm not good at job interviews. But given the right context like someone telling me a story I can tell a story about when something similar happened to me. It's just the guidance I need to keep the conversation going. Instead of relying on someone else to come up with a story off the top of their head maybe try to guide them with your own example. People expect too much of others to carry the conversation and just dismiss them as having "no personality" if they aren't interesting right away. Perhaps it's your fault, maybe you didn't engage on their level to help guide them towards an interesting conversation to let their personality shine. Everyone has a personality, if someone seems like they don't have one it's because you don't know them well enough.
@urphakeandgey6308 4 ай бұрын
My easy way out: "I can't think of anything off the top of my head. Do you have an example?" Best case scenario, their story reminds you of something. Worse case, you just have to talk about their story a bunch to keep the conversation going. Nightmare scenario would be if they don't have an example, but at that point, I'm sure they're feeling pretty awkward themselves.
@akaligolgeninyumrugu8888 7 ай бұрын
This might be the best self-improvement video on youtube. Thank you so much, Cole. I hope you become more successful in your life. I will definitely watch this video, again.
@perphenanolastnamethopls3610 Жыл бұрын
Holy shit, that really means a lot. Choosing your passion made it all click for me. I've been stuck with my self help because I don't have anything I'm dedicated towards. For the past 7 years or so I've been worried about my ability to choose what i want to do for life. But, what I realize now... is it's all about just choosing something and running with it. Your brain will enjoy it on its own.
@sarahbarnett5134 2 жыл бұрын
I've been binge watching all your videos.. seriously you are such an intelligent person. You've used all the things you have experienced in life to help others.. and I think that's amazing. Thank you for all of your videos. Every time I watch one, I immediately feel so positive.
@oliviafawn2373 2 жыл бұрын
you’ve come so far, and i must say, you’ve easily shown us that! i appreciate this video so much, it has taught me a lot. thank you always, Cole. :)
@valeriagonzalez8321 Жыл бұрын
Hi. I stumbled upon your channel just because I have been self reflecting. Your content is high quality and very helpful. It's relatable and it's just what I needed. Thank you
@tysondigital5 Жыл бұрын
you have to select the people you want to be yourself around. showing passion or personality will often makes the bland and timid masses envious of you, which creates silent enemes. no one cares about you; they only care how they appear to others. the people that have the same friends for the longest amount of time; there is no conflict because bland personalities don't get jealous of each other. To know who is a true friend, see if their eyes light up to news of your success, or if they become low key jealous.
@jonathanglover7999 2 жыл бұрын
I truly needed this video after spending 4 semesters at uni, studying a topic I am not passionate about. My lacking passion affected my social skills and mental health, giving me deep feelings of inadequacy. I'm now opting out of uni, taking my power back, and I'm going to try finding new ways to spend time on stuff I actually love. Thanks for making this type of content.
@splinterborn 2 жыл бұрын
Same for alot of people. Stumbling round in the dark.
@liamcraddock9539 Жыл бұрын
Damn a lot of that describes me and I've just stumbled to the end of second year... I don't seem to have done very well. I don't know what to do.
@jonathanglover7999 Жыл бұрын
@@liamcraddock9539 Personally I've just now dropped out of university. I also got to the end of my second year. It has taken me a long time to find out what to do instead. I ended up deciding to find a job and save up money to go to a non formal school where I can learn about sustainable living, permaculture and nature which are the things that I truly love. Just wanted to share that and to encourage you to find a path that suits your passions and interests.
@TheGintama86 Жыл бұрын
@@jonathanglover7999 hows that going to make u money thou?
@sentinelprime5728 5 ай бұрын
@@TheGintama86😂
@slashbangdotcom 2 жыл бұрын
Much love Cole! Certain pieces of your content have been exactly what I needed to hear, and your delivery is spot on. Your willingness to call BS on common practices that don't work is refreshing.
@speedy0_FPV 5 ай бұрын
thank you so much cole, I'm 18 and this video confirmed my thoughts and progress ive already made. I love this sort of content, i write down every important word try it, practice it and improve. keep it up.
@christianalvarez8284 Жыл бұрын
this video helped me so much and opened my mind on understanding exactly where i was stuck at. i can’t wait to continue forward with my passions to better my storytelling as well
@woolsey7202 2 жыл бұрын
My personality is the funny type it’s like I just pretend I’m a stand up comedian but weirdly it worked in a few ways 1. Conversations are easier to have 2. Im more okay with being just myself and 3. It gave me the confidence and better judgment of course I think before I say but it amplified
@ptmirage8473 2 жыл бұрын
What you mean by that? Can you name an example of behaviour? I know how comedians act, but I have no idea how you apply that in real life conversation :)
@archermaniaford7157 2 жыл бұрын
@@ptmirage8473 Well I have a similar thing and it's just, idk, like you have to fully embrace yourself and be in the moment, say whatever comes to your mind (but make sure it's appropriate for the occasion, like your not gonna make a yo mama joke at your mom's funeral) and say it with confidence. Confidence is infectious so when you're confidence it puts others at ease and not tensed up so much. How to be more confident? Stop thinking about what others will say about you or judge you. It's hard I know and I'm still dealing with it but it feels liberating, like for the first time you can be completely and utterly yourself without a care in the world and people will gravitate toward you. And if you're the type of person to act stuff out, do it. It makes you more unique and make your more memorable and funny. And lastly don't talk like a robot, add some passion into the conversation and some enthusiasm. Talk about what interests you and all that
@ptmirage8473 2 жыл бұрын
@@archermaniaford7157 Stopping to care what others say is the harfest part. 3 years ago I had no problem with it, was super confident and my life was much better. I don't know what happend. From that point it only went downhill. I miss my older self :( I don't know how to gain everything back and I feel like a prisoner in my body sometimes. Want to change myself, but everytime I think I make progress there's a situation where I go all the way back 😔
@archermaniaford7157 2 жыл бұрын
@@ptmirage8473 Is it that you aren't being social enough? I speak from experience when I say childhood me was much different than high school me. Childhood me loved rollercoasters, parties, and was extremely extroverted but then I moved schools and that's when I became more timid and closed off. Then I slowly began to get back to that stat of mind by continually doing stuff I wasn't comfortable with doing. For example I would go first during presentations, sure I was scared but I would want to get it out of the way and like the video said, these types of situations are good practice so if there's some social situations, ie, talking to a cashier, a stranger etc try to make then laugh or smile and if you can't do that make a goal to talk to a certain amount of people a day. As for another example my friend has a goal for getting everyone at school to sign his year book. Now you don't have to got to that extent but you definitely want to inch closer and closer out of your comfort zone because I know it can be scary but we're social creatures and need that sort of thing
@archermaniaford7157 2 жыл бұрын
And I'm still trying to reach for the days when I was a fearless kid and could start conversations like nobody's biz so you're not alone
@padraigrhee3857 2 жыл бұрын
Cole, I just stumbled upon your channel and have found what you talk about all so informative and true to how I view the world. I’m currently struggling to improve my social skills and grow out of being a chronic introvert, and your videos have been incredibly inspiring. Thank you so much for doing what you do. 👊❤️
@DantesInferno96 Жыл бұрын
Being a good listener is not enough to have good friendships. I disagree. I've been a great listener to most people but they don't reciprocate. When you act like a trash dump, people treat you as such.
@Rinkesh_21210 11 күн бұрын
I Agree. The same goes for being good to others or being there for your "friends" but never having them when you are in need.
@reatchen663 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for making this video, I almost teared up at the end lol. Self Improvement has been something that I also have been working hard to get a part of and I always think that's it's better to try and fail and have progress than to actually not try at all. Life is short, make it unique and worthwhile in your way.🤘
@cybermark4732 2 жыл бұрын
I appreciate your videos, they are always helpful and insightful. I have been trying to slowly but surely improve myself and the fact that you give out actual things you can do to help achieve these things are monumentally helpful as other videos don't actually go through the steps which might be the most important step towards actual improvement. I am 27 and I have felt I don't have a personality, but how you broke it down as part having a interest in something you are passionate about and being a good story teller is something that never occurred to me, I just kept telling myself I am just not that personable. I have l anxiety and is difficult for me to approach someone with a subject that isn't video games, illustration, or religion and even then I struggle trying to keep a conversation going about those topics as I feel like I have exhausted what the other person might found interesting about my interests. I make a friend and then after a few conversations I feel I have drained the well of topics that might come up organically without me bringing them up. I think the skill I am lacking is being a good story teller like you pointed out. I can't seem to structure why I have my interests and why I enjoy them in appealing ways to others so that they can see why I love what I love. I will try to follow your recommendations and try to become a better storyteller and pay closer attention to conversations of people I deem good story tellers. Thanks Cole!
@hrvojestilin6256 2 жыл бұрын
Maaan, the best thing after coming home from work is the notification from your channel 💪💪
@ColeHastings 2 жыл бұрын
I really appreciate that!
@serv1894 Жыл бұрын
thank you for the storytelling advice man. I've always had issues communicating my experiences because I never actually learned how to tell a inticing story. I started a google doc where I'm going to write little mini stories about my day. I'll definitely start reading more fiction too. Thank you for this video!
@MgelikaXevi Жыл бұрын
great video. And the part about passion was super precise. People wait till they get struck by "passion lightning" without realizing, that it is super rare occurrence. Most passions for 95% of people - are developed through skills and professionalism. It is very rare that you get a passion just out of blue sky, just by looking once at something. And even if it looks fun - you have a long road to go, till you become competent enough to express that passion. Otherwise it is just stays on the level like "yeah, I observed it, seemed pretty cool, but no, i have no idea how it works" ..
@harriswone4215 2 жыл бұрын
This is insane,I’m a sophomore right now and I started watching this video right before the bell rang for English class,You literally explained my life,I feel like I’m multiple different people and it’s so hard and awkward for me to connect with other people,there is a reason I found this video,hopefully it help because I feel like a ghost,we would literally have a group project and I would be the only one not doing it even if I try to talk to people it still doesn’t work,no one ever remembers me or wants to talk to me and am also really love playing video games. After fully watching this video I feel like I’m not alone but it all still seams way to complicated and I still feel down like it’s not gonna work out for me,amazing content though your so lucky thanks for posting this.
@zacharynguyen7286 3 ай бұрын
Hope you are doing good and staying safe ❤
@harriswone4215 3 ай бұрын
@@zacharynguyen7286 thanks it means a lot I hope you stay safe too,God bless❤️
@TheIllerX 2 жыл бұрын
This resonates very well with my line of thinking and experiences. I have most likely often been seen as that boring person just blending in, but has no real interests and so on. When I was younger I thought I was just unlucky to not have found any real passion, like the self-help books and gurus speak of. Only in recent years I have begun to understand that "finding your passion" is not a passive process, where you suddenly realize "This is my passion". You have to make a real effort yourself to to get better at things, try to see the beauty in things, try to see nuances. If you are just bored about life and everything, this is not the real world being boring, it is your perception of it and you can change that. Almost anything can become intersting if you give it a chance and actually try to experience it and the inner beauty of it. Use your curiosity to drive you forward. To be bored is often the same as not paying enough attention. This video felt really accurate and honest, so you have one more subscriber now :)
@nullpointer7540 Жыл бұрын
I like the unusualness in the material structure, you really captured my interest. Well done!
@roxylindholm5179 5 ай бұрын
If someone tells you, that you don’t have a personality, it just means you don’t have the personality, they like to see in you. They want you to be what they like you to be. Going their way, actually will destroy your personality. You are not anyone’s puppet. If you are boring, but feel ok with it, then be it. Nothing wrong with it.
@nazarripey7208 2 жыл бұрын
It's crazy how often I can relate to this guy's videos
@Mecca188 2 жыл бұрын
Same it’s like we lived the same life
@giovanniboretti 2 жыл бұрын
Wow man, this is really one of the best videos you made. Amazing storytelling, so great that I wasn't having any other thought in my mind other than the story... keep going like this bro
@Fluctuatewithme Жыл бұрын
i found this video randomly. i am not even subscriber of this channel.but this man just got a core and centred reason i was looking for. thanks bro. i want and wish your all need be fulfilled becze your video drastically changed my life. thanks again. .
@bigboienfer4331 4 ай бұрын
If you think someone is boring, you’re toxic. People are people, different people different opinions. Different people different hobbies. Jus like compare and contrast, there’s no compare and compare or contrast and contrast
@Alltagundso 2 жыл бұрын
Wow, that was really one of the best and most useful videos you ever made! I agree so much with creating one's passion and also realized that I missed out on developing my story telling skills.
@MunkyChunk 2 жыл бұрын
“All too often our personality is nothing more than psychological clothing that we wear to hide our true self from the world.”
@Aditya-zf7wq Жыл бұрын
Now this is what you call "Self improvement video", hats off dude ,got to learn so much.
@gabelossusthe4th 2 ай бұрын
Cole, I love your videos because you're one of the only guys who can talk about a very specific experience in sophomore year of high school and remain holding my attention. Bravo!
@kanseidorifto2430 2 жыл бұрын
“Unlike most people who watch self improvement videos” You nailed the comedy there😂
@pubcle 2 жыл бұрын
I completely agree on much of this. I'm a full on advocate of self improvement, I've been steadily working at this.
@77luchris Жыл бұрын
this is the video i needed bro.l i've recently been super focused on school (highschool) and realized that the reason why I don't know who I am is because I have no passions, nothing to make me interesting. I'm really glad that I live in a period of time where people online make videos like these for guidance. thx
@01iverQueen Жыл бұрын
Idk how anyone could not have passion about anything in the world. Maybe because I was born on 1997. But since I was a kid even tho I was super introverted and shy I was very interested in cars (being just 4 years I was able to distinguish all the car brands just by looking at them), was riding bicycles, all types of sports, making friends, movies, books, games etc etc. Young kids and people sit too much on social media and tiktoks that ruin their dopamine system so they are becoming lazy and not passionate about anything it feels like. And because I used to professionally swim, then went to basketball training next for two years and then to the gym I got more passionate than ever
@sentinelprime5728 5 ай бұрын
Cheers man
@gregorzimmermann9495 2 жыл бұрын
I was listening to this video at work with earphones and googled who Cole Hastings is. A lot of pictures of a guy without wearing a shirt were popping up. I quickly closed the tab. When I turned around, my colleagues were standing there starring at me in a judging way. :D Regardless, your advice is great.
@1life0gods 2 жыл бұрын
🤣
@87alock Жыл бұрын
Lol
@Mastaz 2 жыл бұрын
As an aspiring KZfaqr this video has been extremely helpful. I've noticed that some of my video ideas have good potential but I always seem to struggle with the execution and storytelling aspect. I'll start practicing more so I can level up my game and hopefully start seeing better results in my future endeavours. Thanks again for making this video Cole!
@MygovernmentNameisLondon Жыл бұрын
Your voice and tone = *CHEFS KISS* Perfecto for this video 👏🏽
@K9jp8406kane Жыл бұрын
I learned I loved running, because I loved Sonic Adventure 2 growing up, so I subconsciously ran around a lot… and my First track coach nicknamed me “Sonic Kane”, since I loved running around everywhere that caused my ability to run very fast… I got lucky with my P.T. Coach, instructor, and one of my fans to see despite my body was recovering from a D.U.I. car accident, where I pulled out of my best friend’s driveway (who happened to live on a busy street) I pulled out of her driveway, than I don’t remember anything post that… till I woke up in some hospital bed, and I impressed some doctors with my desire to right away run… again, so now fast forward to some what modern day, and I managed to prove to my P.T. Coach that I love to run about and proven my knowledge of how to heal wounds and I love P.K. , well I had to learn how to heal myself faster because I used to run a lot , bike ride for miles, and re-taught them bout the importance of Endurance, run for miles, and my understanding on too build up running speed, helps… they needed someone to teach Running and since I proved to be very quick on my feet, and agelic. I did prove to him my desire was to find a way to teach people how to be agile, since I was young 😅
@christheplayer99 2 жыл бұрын
This kind of videos often help me realize I'm not as bad as I think I am. My main hobby is playing videogames, as I like to get invested both in the stories, gameplay and even lore at times. I feel like I'm at my best when I describe something game-related, be it a strategy or tip on how to approach a certain segment, or a particular set piece of lore. Part of the reason why I found the videos describing Necromorphs' anatomy so interesting, for instance. And despite not doing it much (not unless I have nothing else to do), I also enjoy drawing, and watching anime. I was able to speak to this girl I barely knew from highschool through a shared interested in Death Note and we talked about some drawings I made a couple of years ago. We still talk to this day, and she assured my I'm an amazing person. So I guess it's not that I don't have a personality, it's just really well hidden as I don't open myself to people that easily. I hope this helps anyone reading realizing they're worth much more than you think! Enjoy your hobbies, whatever they may be :)
@pucci2k915 5 ай бұрын
Good job Chris 🙏🏾 I hope you doing well today ! I'm also have a hobby that I can describe very well for long periods of time (basketball) just like you do for videogames and I'm trying my best to open to new people
@zaidsada6841 2 жыл бұрын
Great video Cole, very inspiring. And just in time as I am preparing for a deep dive into a social skills improvement plan. I will bookmark this video for future reference.
@zavionpseudo3784 Жыл бұрын
every video i see of yours just makes my days better and better
@Hermaphroditious Жыл бұрын
The issue I have is that I'm skilled with one on one interactions but once I'm in a group of people I completely fail. I'm sure there's a video about that somewhere, but it's like a social light switch that flicks on and off depending on the number of people around me.
@NathanHoff96 Жыл бұрын
It'll get worse once you realize a large chunk of people are spotlight junkies. Its really comes down to finding the right social events, refining your headspace, and not letting narcissists hog the mic as egomaniacs love to do. Say controversial shit to make points (not to antagonize) and people will respect/admire you... or they'll get upset, but who wants to conversate with a bunch of thin-skinned hype beasts anyway? Not this guy.
@victor_wet_bananas 2 жыл бұрын
Love your storytelling!!! I would also like to thank you for changing my life
@toolovely6744 2 жыл бұрын
I love your channel man, these tips are actually useful and unlike other channels. Keep the good work !!
@Trainergreen22 Жыл бұрын
this video randomly came up in the algorithm, great content i didnt know i needed. SUBSCRIBED
@tanicwhisper0647 6 ай бұрын
This is so true. I’ve never had much to talk about with others because I never really had any hobbies or interest that I felt I knew enough about to share or talk about. But when I would listen to others I found that I really enjoyed being around people who loved talking about their passions. (Not gloat) In HS from 2014-2018 I always found the people who would talk about themselves really interesting. If they were in Football, if they were into video games, if they were into partying, if they were into dancing, into cheerleading, into Student Council, into Parades or HOCO’s. I always wanted to listen and engage with them because they always had so much to say about their topic. Even now as an adult I listen and engage with those who PRACTICE their passions. If they know more than general knowledge about a topic they usually peek my interest, and we can sit and converse for hours. EDIT: Something I struggle with as someone who’s lost a lot of friends over the years is I become more closed off. I stopped sharing any of my interest with anyone. I had this deep insecurity that you probably would not want to hear me talk about MY interest for the next 30 mins. I had this coworker at a previous job. He was always surrounded by others, but he was a dick. One thing he had going for him was he did not care if you found the things he liked interesting or not. He was going to talk his head off about his passions, and you were going to listen. He would talk a lot about Football, Fantasy Football, DnD, WWE, Gym, and so much other crap. Dude had tons of knowledge on each topic. Me on the other hand. You’d probably have no idea what the hell I was into.
Charisma on Command
Рет қаралды 10 МЛН