Women were never scared of being alone. It's men projecting their fears of being alone😂😂😂

It is not a Black woman's job to continue to hold up the Black Community, it is the men in our community's job, and why do we have to many single mothers in our community?

Women have to lower their standards,but men don't have to lower theirs. Not gonna happen.

Screw the community. Don't settle; stay single until you find the right person, if at all. Worry about yourself.

A lot of guys don’t realize that threatening us by saying “you’ll be forever alone” is not the insult they think it is… lol. I get to sleep in more? Not clean after you? Win win.

I think we need to stop arguing with men about our standards. Stop 👏arguing👏 with people👏 who can't afford👏 your standards👏.

Some of these men don't seem to understand that you can be married and alone at the same time. Cheating husband? You're alone. Husband who isn't a co-parent? You're alone. Abusive husband? You're alone. Neglectful husband? You're alone. Never-home husband? Youre alone.

Exactly. They need to realize that being alone is not the worst thing for us. Being stuck with them is.

In all seriousness it is not worth the risk to be in a relationship. You could be abused, hurt, abandoned, etc. In no way is that worth the risk. The people who claim to love you the most are the people who hurt you the worst.

I don't care about the community or anything. I am and WILL ALWAYS be childfree and manfree forever by choice, period.

Women were never afraid to live alone. They just always needed weapons to protect themselves from male predators while being alone.

These boys need to stop telling us to settle. There's nothing wrong with being alone if the other choice is to be with someone abusive.

Men don't settle for less. If he doesn't want a plus size woman he will not compromise.

I've accepted being single is safer mentally, emotionally, and physically. I see no benefit to dating these days, especially with the femicide rates up and how toxic dating is.

To the woman asking about the community, BW are the reason the community has thrived at all. BW have single-handedly pushed themselves in the workforce, juggling kids and school and doing it all on their own, for the most part. When do we stop making excuses for these men?

How do they still need to be mothered if they grew up with a mom and no dad? 🤨 Wouldn’t that mean they still need to be fathered since the dad wasn’t there? 😂 These arguments make no sense. Just excuses.

Ladies please listen: BUY PROPERTY ASAP! The window for us to be solo homeowners is closing because the cost of homes is growing exponentially. This PRIVILEGE that our ancestors did not have may be erased. Buy now, ladies. I closed on my house last year, and it was the best possible thing that happened in my life. Please buy property. Be a landowner and rent to other women. Gain some capital and look after fellow wgtow or women-centered sisters. I have a 3bd, 2 ba, and I don't live or need a male. I would sooner rent to a fellow sister than sell my home. Always own property, sisters. ❤ I love this channel!

To the pickmesha asking "at one point...". The answer is no. At no point. If men cared about the communateh then they would change. But they dont care and i dont care. Down with the system. If the pickmes care sooo much then each one should have 20-40 kids to make up the difference.

Considering Sade Robinson was recently unalived on the FIRST date; I think it's safe to say most voluntarily single women these days don't care about finding a man when women can't even make it out of the dating process alive. I'd rather be alone and safe, than in the company of a wicked man.

Bad, abusive relationship is worse than being alone. Cats are are so much better than high quality men, alpha men. Better be alone than in abusive relationship.

12:11 This woman is the President & CEO of Pickme University in the bc. Sorry sweetheart, but I am not sacrificing my mental sanity, my emotional and physical health, and my financial wealth to "save" the BC. We can't save something that has been dead for centuries. The bc is what it is. If y'all want to continue in the dysfunction with these dudes, be my guest. I will be living my best life on the other side of town.

12:66 Bw have been prioritizing their community for YEARS and have gotten nothing but trash thrown in their face so how dare she say BW need to stop being selfish and take one for the team

She can support it alone if that’s what she wants and it’s not a problem. Asking women to continue to sacrifice themselves and their happiness so “you” don’t have to do it alone is hilarious.

“ Women just need to accept being an object to men…. For the sake of the community.” That’s a very high price that I do not want to pay. 😤❤️‍🔥🔥

Wife - the one job where having life experience is a disqualifier.

Women today are more wise, stronger, and educated. Plus, a lot of women are tired of so much mess! Sanity and peace will keep you healthy with a longer life. Yessss... kudos ladies 🎉❤

Community? The one that's vilifying single mothers and telling them to choose better whilst extolling the street cred of a player, telling us that settling for subpar partners is what we are worth. Girl please. We are well aware of the drop in birth rates and some of us are okay with that.

*THEY WANNA "leave legacy" BUT DON'T WANNA HELP RAISE THEIR KIDS.... THEY JUST WANNA SAY "I gave someone my last name" ...MOST OF THESE KIDS ARE ONLY BORN BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS WANTED MINI MAIDS

Don't settle. Stay single. They need you more than you need them. God's protection. Stay single and happy, ladies. 🙏🏾😜

I married myself back in Jan 2021. Things are going great! 😂

This world needs to take a PAUSE on marriages and birthing children. Look at the absolutely deplorable state of the world. Once everything is fixed and made right, maybe the marriage and childbirth conversation can be picked up again. Until then, no need for those failed ideas to continue.

I no longer ask young ladies, are you getting married. I stopped ten years ago...now I ask, Are you staying safe? when men say, you need to lower your standards the translation is: you just gonna have to put up with what your grandma and mom put up with.

These males are getting everything for free when they get married or courting. That has a expiration date when he doesn't need you anymore.

Happy cat lady. Peace is perfect. Stay strong ladies.

To the "black men want to be mothered because of single black moms" comment, my ex was born and raised by both parents who are traditional where the mother did EVERYTHING for her son. In college, he'd drive home for his mom to do his laundry. I met him well after he graduated and guess who he expected to so his laundry. I firmly believe a lot of the men who want to be "babied"/taken care of" come from traditional families and want to mimic the lifestyle of their fathers provided by patriarchal norms.

The “curious” baby near the end will learn, smdh… The COMMUNITY HAS BEEN ON THE BACKS OF WOMEN for centuries, and now we are politely exiting the load bearing position.

That last lady who’s about “community” is delulu. She had another video of how she was complaining how she stayed with a man when she wasn’t happy and tried and tried but it “didnt work “ - girl why didn’t you settle… it’s because you and him were NOT HAPPY it WAS NOT HEALTHY. She just miserable and wants company. Ladies keep your standards HIGH!! That’s how we make a community stronger and better. That’s how anything is made stronger and better- by not accepting mediocre.

I am a cat lady. I had been married for 25 years to a nice man, albeit a man whose existing mental issues (I had lowered my standards), got progressively worse to the point where he would not get a job. I divorced him, dated, almost lowered my standards for a man who nearly killed me and now I've been happily single for almost 4 years. Will I do it again? Frankly, I find the process boring. I'll never marry or live with a man. I don't want to work that hard.

I’m single by choice and creating my own happiness. If dirty dogs are my only option, then being alone is the upgrade!

Be alone! Be alone be alone! It’s mysterious and magical. The whole ‘oh poor you, you’re so lonely’ it’s utter GASLIGHT!

A middle-aged WW here and I made the worst mistake marrying a man who said we were a team, but really he wanted me to be his maid, nurse, to work,to do all child rearing and everything so he could just focus on his job. Guess what, we both have our doctorates and I met him while a graduate student. I wanted my career too. He lied about so many things and it was devastating. We had one child who is profoundly disabled and surprise, surprise, he abandoned our son so I had to rear our son alone. Please don't ever settle and now that I live alone, I am at peace. We women need to band together. I listen to channels of women of color because they have their shit together and they are leading the charge!

Ms. Pickmeisha in the middle with the whole where does it leave the black community comment, pose this question to the BM, the BM that get their passports, the BM who 💩 on BWs looks, the BM who make these single parent homes. Ask them that, don't pose that 💩 to BW, we tried, we done trying cuz Glocktavious and Ashtavious have kept the community in shambles with their actions.

Synonyms for Alone include uniquely and exclusively. The very way they make alone seem like an inherently negative thing tells me it is purely projection. I love being alone 🥰 my company is fantastic and I’m sure a ton of other ladies feel the same 💕 cheers to us 🥂

It comes down to this. Men, any age, cannot handle a woman he has to compete with and their bar is set SO low, they act as if we are doing this on purpose when we are just out here living our lives.

It's dangerous to put it on women to get ''dads'' for their kids. Believe it or not, there aren't men rushing the door to male role model for someone elses boys. You are much more likely to have yourself, and/or your kids exploited by a man with ill intentions. If the father absconds from his responsibilities, the best a woman can do is to provide and stable and happy home. Not one with the mess of men in and out.

12:15 Had me rolling my eyes to the back of my head. Sis, I will ALWAYS put my happiness, my peace, my wants before "the community". Nobody has to live my life, but me and I will NEVER live my life as a "Sista Soldier mule" for any cause or community, because if I'm living in poverty, being beaten, being unalived or can't afford to feed someone's "legacy" on my own, "The community" won't be there to assist me. The community will say I deserved it. I'll leave that muling mindset for the women who are glad to do it. #GoMules! #FlyThatCapeSis!

People standing up for their wants and needs not to be treated like crap are standing up for the rights of their community and of future generations to live free of misery.

If push comes to shove, I’m team extinction.

BM really think we are bothered by them not doing anything for us or wanting us. We are dancing in the streets with joy! 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽

Food for thought: men had all opportunities to get education, money, study psychology and philosophy to better themselves for thousands of years, but women when given this chance did it in about the last 200 years 🤷‍♂️

The woman saying that we need to prioritize the community has clearly never been in a relationship with an abusive black man. It's easy to say what she's saying when you're an outsider looking at other women, from your perspective, probably just "being picky because they can be." Black women don't want these broken black men because they are a literal threat to our lives sometimes and it's not really our responsibility to take them in just for the community. It's not like we can fix them. Any therapist would tell you that right away, that it's not your job to fix other people. She should be advocating for these males to fix themselves instead of trying to get women to take them.

12:16 what is she getting to exactly???she sounds like shes telling these women to take one for the team...hell no!

Statistics don't lie: happiest demographics are married men & single women. Demographics that are the least happiest: single men & married women. The statistics don't lie.

@12:40 "At what point, is what you want, more important than the needs of our community?" The day I was born. I am NOT a sacrifice for the "Black Cause". My body, my choice. Why should I be okay with my female body being taken and used for other people's benefit? Also, her fight is with capitalism, not women.

Married twice, but now on my own at 43 for the first time since 25. Its so....peaceful. I can breathe, and Ill never give up breathing again

Girlfriend asking “where does that leave the black community?” can put the community on her back and save it herself. Once again placing all of the responsibility and burden on black women instead of encouraging black men to just be better! No ma’am we won’t do it.

16:32 respectfully sis acts like blk women haven’t already settled… the stats prove BW are holding the weight of the community on their shoulders. BM are not community focused.

Did you notice that everything that she listed as to why there's a problem in the community is directly responsible for why women don't want to deal with any more men

I was never scared of being alone. Lol I have great platonic relationships with people. I never thought marriage and procreation was the end goal of life. I feel like that idea is outdated.

14:14 No single momma's, no broken homes, hopefully less dv because dv happens within the home. The bc have so little wealth Because Of Whooo? Single mother's because of Whooo?

The girl at 14:00 is an opp 😂

Where were all these people when black women were being degraded and disrespected? Why does the black community only have a problem that needs to be addressed when it’s the black men suffering and not the women??

The big guy was making sense. But the girl after talking about the black community is talking foolishness. The reason there are so many black single mothers is because so many DID settle. They got a man just to have one and he still left. They thought about the community and tried to build up a black man and when he was up he left. Why doesn't anyone talk to men about being better men and actual husbands?? Why aren't black men held accountable for the state of the black community?

Girl with dreads is a pick me she should settle then

12:17 what she does not understand is that having a better quality man and woman in a relationship they by default produce a better quality family for a child. Back in the day poor genetics and shitty men were bred out. Her saying that "settling" would be the solution to the community is delusional given that our community is currently full of people who have settled and the state of our community is ridiculous. And no ma'am you can not grow to love and be with "anyone". There will always be sacrificial lambs who are willing to do things for the sake of the community, but today other's will not. If the community as a whole refuse to do better then crumbled it shall be.

That man said it so BEAUTIFULLY, that I just had to listen to him twice! The last woman mirrors my sentiment exactly. Because at this point I truly DO NOT CARE about going extinct or losing "our" community. That pickme chick was too exhausting to get through, but basically I gather she is talking to the wrong audience about the state/future of "the community"...she needs to ask BM about that one. Because BW BEEN trying to save it and hold it together.

The folks telling women to settle…I wonder if THEY want to be the ones women “settle” for. Who wants to be somebody’s participation trophy? 😂 😂 🏆

17:44 "Men, do you think we're bluffing?" 😂 THIS. ALL. DAY. Cause we're not. (If we want a kid that badly, we could hypothetically adopt one of the millions worldwide that men abandon to the streets and foster system. IF.)

They want us to settle..for their type. If we have standards it disqualifies a majority of them. They are more afraid of being alone than they say we are. Men are easy to get 🤷🏾‍♀️ we can change our minds at any moment…

That chick in the black shirt .. dont know WTF shes talking about . . Smgdh lmao 😂😂

Maria actually looked pained while the one woman was talking.

Exactly. If it ain’t what I was _promised,_ I don’t want it. I don’t do the bait and switch. And what I want is _always_ more important than a “community” that makes it *more* than clear it doesn’t give a 💩 about Me. As a Woman _or_ even a Person.

It’s the fact that they think that a man who is a nice decent human being that doesn’t cheat is a perfect man. No, he’s a normal person.

I feel like a lot of what that women was saying needed to be said to men

It’s crazy how they always have an excuse to why the males aren’t fully adults from being in a single mother home yet the women are capable of being full adults, and if they’re not, they don’t have an excuse as to why besides your father wasn’t in a home, so why you can’t say that when it comes to the man

Community is dead in today's world. All anyone ever does is hurt others. It's honestly best to just literally be by yourself most times.

I have always had a problem with everyone concluding that a woman that is not married or not in a relationship with a man is somehow "alone" as they put it. Everything has to be about being in a romantic relationship of some kind. You are not alone because you are unmarried or not in a relationship with a man, considering that there is so much to life, like raising your children, spending time with grandchildren, pursuing one's career aspirations, pursuing your favorite hobbies, etc. However, most women have been socialized to believe that having and keeping a man is the ultimate achievement in life.

FYI: Everyone dies alone unless you are dying in a horrible crash, otherwise, you go alone. If they mean they will die by your side? Well, they usually die first, so I am confused. I guess they mean, so they don't want to die alone. OH WELL!!! Get a dog, they will miss you when you are gone.

As a wife in healthy, happy, loving marriage I fully support the continued rejection of the old ways of stigmatizing single women past their early 30s and the continued rejection of considering it a status symbol to be a man’s fiancée/wife. Single ladies refuse to tolerate B.S!!!!

How will the community look after I'm dead? I don't care. I choose not to settle. Go find your match.

To the lady asking about "where will this leave our community" . Sis have you been looking around, there is NO BLACK COMMUNITY. Women with standards will be a course correction. The births will stop and SOMEONE will have to step up and be BETTER!!!!

The lady with the short sleeve black shirt is placing the heaviest burden of upholding the black community on the wrong shoulders…the black woman. For generations we’ve settled for just enough or worse even less or nothing at all. Where has that led us as a community by giving up our entire bodies, minds, psyches, wholeness and peace? The community has not healed nor grown in recent generations. By demanding better, wanting better and not giving so freely and easily that incentivizes men to make changes and hold some self accountability for their actions or lack thereof. (That is not to say women don’t have things we need to work on, we do as well.) But by wanting more for yourself you’ll more likely receive more in return. No one is free from learning by actions shown by others. Complacency is a recipe for an infinity circle of disappointment, pain, ambivalence, bitterness and anger that’ll continue to plague generations to come. So people, especially the ladies….continue to want more for yourself. Don’t settle….

If black man don’t travel, where were they going to use their passport?

I am glad women are realizing this! I have been decentering men and living the 4b life all this time, and I will continue to do so, God willing. We need to reveal these truths to all women, and I am doing my part here on KZfaq too with my new channel. I started it for my AI art of Black women and girls but I started putting decentering men info too. We need to wake up, ladies, and take our lives back. Edit- thank you so much for your support. I appreciate you all and I hope you don’t mind that I don’t speak in my videos. My voice is not the best (health reasons) but I still wanted to help support my fellow women with the information I learned from researching men for years. Thank you again and God bless❤️

14:39 “exceptionally higher standards than necessary” Girl, goodbye.

There are good men out there. But they are few and far, far between. The Ivy League sets boundaries to admission and you meet it or don't attend. This is the same. It's a correction to a skewed system that allowed men to not meet the basic standards. For instance, due to the one child policy in China, men that want to get married to Chinese women must be educated, have a good job and a house in order to be considered eligible marriage partners. Why do so many people expect us to continue to tolerate abuse, neglect, high work loads, and financial struggle to be with a man? For sex and protection? Most married people aren't having sex and a man can't be with you all the time to protect you. So, you're going to have to protect yourself. Women are told to accept cheating. Therefore, you're going to be alone and sexless while he's satisfying his other partner. Learn self control over your body and turn yourself into a weapon. It's all on you regardless. The world is in horrible shape, people are crazier than ever, living is so expensive. WHY bring an innocent into this muck? I think that's selfish.

I’m not settling for a dam thing 🤣 Because I have built my own paradise and any man i allow into my life , will be ADDING to my life . Everything I ask for and want , I also have so why would I invite others into my life to bring misery to me? I swear it NEVER ends with these PickMe’s . I text my older sis , how’s your day going? Her response: my brother in law getting on her nerves. 🤨 My friends if we meet up , the first hour they talking about how miserable they are . Only to piggyback and say “ that’s marriage it has ups and downs “ 🤨 ma’am yall ups and downs been more DOWN then anything, TF. Then of course I get the “you’re not married you wouldn’t understand because marriage isn’t always perfect “ They really believe that nonsense, as if I’ve never been in exclusive relationships that were long term . Yet , they always want to get away to my peaceful home in order to “get away” . I mean make it make sense ? I’m not about to be sitting around miserable. That occurs with people who can’t provide and pay these bills alone or they just desperately want regular se(x) which is low vibrational AF. My best friend will literally complain and then some how mention the se(x) 🤨 Another friend spent Over an hour complaining about her BF and then say his 🍆 doesn’t work because of uncontrolled diabetes. So , I asked why stay with him if you not happy AND he can’t please you ? I received “crickets “. Another friend , her husband works out of the country . He has cheated multiple times on her , and had the audacity to send a pic of GF to her. 🤨 why does she stay? She can’t afford to go anywhere. I mean it’s sickening and I’m not about to be bamboozled . If anyone is a follower of the Bible , it clearly says there will be a time when the woman who did not bear children will be called BLESSED. And it’s BETTER to remain SINGLE, but if you are with a lot of lust then you should marry. I’m good over here!

14:53 this scarce ass mindset… it will leave us with more *happy* connected families with less trauma!!! i’d rather that than a bunch of subpar relationships and people pairing up just to say they have someone. 🙄 16:15 this is so sad and untrue. many of us are at this point because we gave into that mindset and saw that *no* you can’t grow with someone if they don’t have the same value, intentions, goals, life vision, emotional intelligence, so on and so forth. and many women settled for the okay or nice guy just for him to want to use his gf as a bang maid/mommy. not caring about actually nourishing the relationship. that’s disney princess thinking.

I prefer to stay single for life i saw how toxic my parents marriage was and i don't want to repeat the cycle plus i had a traumatic childhood and deal with trust issues

In the words of the late Whitney Houston "I'd rather be alone than unhappy."

12:12 Bless her heart. She’s saying woman should take one for the team and get rid of our standards bc they’re obviously WAY too much for men to acclimate. We should also undergo not having our own wants & needs satisfied to not stress the man out or else he may leave the house for good & if the man is emotionally negligent, nonchalant & abusive in all shapes and forms, I need to work on being a stronger woman to endure it on behalf of holding down not only my family, but the community…. Why am I expected to nurture & sacrifice for a community at my own detriment when that same community does nothing to pour back into me??? It’s always what the women should be doing, but never too much on how the men need to be our rock & shield. They think as long as he has a job (& a lot of time not even well-paying with benefits) then he’s done his part & all he needs to do. We gotta evolve past this patriarchal slavery way of thinking.

I HAVE A CAT, HE IS MORE MAN THEN ANY MALE I EVER DEALT WITH…LOLOLOLOLO…SO HAPPY TO BE SINGLE AN NOBODY’S SLAVE!

These men are missing the point of the person your going to be with should make your life better. But men don't do that. 4B World 💪🏾👑🥰

I think what people fail to understand is that when you settle you end up creating a broken home and single motherhood because you take bare minimum that is not enough to sustain a family. Women have settled and that is what creates the brokenness. When women have standards and boundaries they ask the man to bring more which most times create great families since you had so much respect for yourself since you didn’t settle and therefore your husband respects you and children respect themselves. Period.

Why does the enormous responsibility of keeping the black community fall disproportionately upon the shoulders of black women???? It seems like whenever black women are improving their lives, there are pick mes and angry men who want to bring up community.

That's right, ladies. This video is everything. I wish it viral.

This is the manosphere's worst fear - women who straight up DGAF about being on their own

When anyone says, "ThInK oF tHe CoMmuniTy!" I feel like they don't view those they are addressing as stakeholders in that community whose needs are also worth considering. It's like trying to manipulate a mother wanting something for herself by framing her as outside of the interests of family, like she wasn't part of the family too.

Girl we might not be here in 50yrs😂 Men have standards they stick to, whether it be the woman's complexion,size,looks,and compliance

My ex-husband was raised with both parents, and all of the males expected their women to baby them. The grandmother actually told me that it was my job to "take care" of my husband. What she meant was to baby him. Just about all of her sons (she had seven) were criminals and/or drug addicts as were my husband's two brothers. My ex was probably the best out of the group but not much.