I've spoken to a number of women recently who were inappropriately pessimistic about their chances of getting married, simply due to their age. While it's true that women operate under an increasing disadvantage in the sexual marketplace in their 30s, that doesn't mean they can't still win. They just need to change their strategy. In this episode, I discuss further. Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/jdiIdd2Cl66odYU.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzfaq.info/love/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #relationship #women

I have a lot of female friends in their late 30 I would love to send this to but 95% of them would rather die alone than be humbled. Pride comes before the fall

I'm a 45 year old man in NYC. I've done online dating, speed dating, and singles mixer too. Most of the women in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s have not changed their strategy. They are still waiting for some handsome and exciting man to sweep them off their feet.

´more agressive approach´ does not mean more angry, it means you have to actually put effort in.

Women over 30 - hopeless about their chances at marriage Also women over 30 - reject every man with any kind of flaw because they deserve better

My wife was 30+ when I’ve met her. She made an effort, she respected my time and money, she was supportive, hard working and smart.

I have a younger sister (32) who can't seem to get out of the cycle of dating guys for years and years and years until she finally starts putting the pressure on to pop the question only to then see them run for the hills because they don't want to commit. As much as I'd love to send her Orion's content because I know it would 100% help if she were open-minded, she is also very left-wing in her thinking and is the epitome of girl boss. I doubt she would make it even 60 seconds into a clip like this one before closing it and rage texting me back.

It requires women over 30 to be accountable and put in work? They're doomed 😂

Women always have an option even if its not the option they want🤣

It amazes me how many US women over 50 not only think the game isn't over yet, but have demands just as high as when they were in their 20s. And then they are surprised they stay single.

Not all single women in their 30’s were picky or have high expectations when they were younger, some of these women were ugly or insecure or had illnesses, and once they get rid of these issues they become attractive and beautiful in their 30’s and men are easy to judge wondering why they are single it’s because they were invisible to men so don’t judge so quickly (speaking from experience)

I went on a date with a 31yr lady last year, and when she decided that I wasnt her guy, she literally said "Im going to die alone", on the date. I also dated a 35 yr that told me at the end that she was going to try artificial help to have a baby. Both girls seemed hopeless.

As a guy in his thirties, I definitely get along more with women who are around my age. I definitely still think they're attractive and I kinda prefer them over "younger" women. As long as they have similar values, can understand me on a deeper level and have chemistry with me.

"Most women turn out OK, that is most women end up in a decent relationship. They may not end up in a relationship with the man they'd prefer (...)" That's one hell of a compromise and it explains why so many men get no respect from their wives: these men were just consolation prizes to their women, as they were never the first choice. How is that a good ending?

I like how he’s howling in the wind. Logical and on point, but effectively speaking in front of an empty auditorium.

I am middle eastern and it is not that easy because people think our values are weird lol. I don’t drink, smoke, and hate clubs. I like to dance just not in that environment. Sex is for marriage for me. It is hard to find someone you like with similar values! Men from my community want an IG model. I don’t think they understand that without IG those apps are not real life. Good luck everyone 💗

If a woman want's a man, it's easy. She just needs to figure out what that man wants... and give it to him. If she wants to keep that man, keep figuring out what he wants and keep giving it to him. It really is that simple, but the vast majority of women are too prideful to do this.

I live in a country and a city where nobody from upper middle class get marry before 32-35 years old. Women over 30 are young and beautiful.

I have been dating over 30 for 14 years now. My dating life has been great. The women I’ve met have been great and reasonable. There are so many quality women out there, and if you can’t find them maybe you aren’t as amazing as you think you are. Honestly consider that. Blame other people all you want, but if you aren’t getting the dating results that you want, it’s on you. Love finds the lovable. Know that fact. If you aren’t getting results, that’s life telling you that you are fucking up somehow.

There was a Miss USA pageant queen who was terrified of being alone after 30 so much and at the height of the online community pushing the whole "you're going to die alone" narrative that she took her life, jumping out of her highrise apartment at the young age of 30. 😢 Ladies, please don't be so hard on yourself- ESPECIALLY if you are truly beautiful, with a beautiful heart and mind. Life is never over. Where there is hope (and knowledge to do better), there is Future. ❤

Of course it's not over. There will always be suckers who will overpay for a mediocre product

There is a "I'll be the way I am, if he does not accept me for that it's his loss", kind of laissez-faire pandemic in the attitude of women in this cohort, that blinds them from their own failings. Those that continue this way into their 40s end up with cats, those that get out of this hole, have made some effort towards self-development and making themselves attractive, and useful to the men their desire to have any sustainable relationships with. The rest are just loony bins, beware and keep them at bay.

Victorian Taraban is the version we didn’t know that we needed.

Honestly I have never heard anyone encourage women to improve themselves. This is brilliant.

Anyone else think Orion should do a reading of a Jane Austen novel? The impersonations of the Victorians was great 😂

Youre so right. Im single in my 30s and its because I never put put in the effort to drop my handkerchief so to speak. I didnt put any effort or put myself out there but its because I felt so unworthy and had a lot of trauma so I spent a lot of my 20s cloistered in my room figuring out my internal struggles so i can be a healthy partner to somebody else as well as myself. Thats why I feel like if you love your daughter its even more important and pertinent to love, keep them safe, care and value them when they are young so they dont waste their youth to trauma, negative mental health etc.and figuring it out. Thats why parents treat their sons differently than their daughters. Its not about double standards and eventually the woman will grow up and realize their parents were just trying to protect them

the average man’s SMV is not higher than the average woman’s SMV at 30+. women always have more options than men. just because you’re a 30 man with your stuff together, doesn’t mean women all of sudden flock to you, unless you’re a famous celebrity.

This guy is really good. I mean the most sage wisdom I’ve ever come across on this topic. But I’d bet a lot of it falls on deaf ears. Like he says, I was an invisible 20 something year old guy but I knew that it wouldn’t stay that way forever.

I'm 37, single and have 2 kids. Most of my (old) friends have ended up in the same spot. What "the internet" seems to forget, is that where there is a single mom, there is also a single dad. They tend to date in that pool, there are a lot of people who are in that situation actually. Many also prefer to stay single (or have fwb) until the kids are older and they have more free time to spend on a relationship again. People who are not thinking about reproduction anymore are pretty chill when it comes to dating, there is no rush. Scarcity mindset makes people desperate and unattractive. It's all about self development/growth and hopefully having learned lessons from the past to apply in the future. If you put in the work to be a good human, there will be someone for you. If you haven't had kids yet but want them, i do believe the 30's is probably the worst time to try and find a healthy relationship. Way too many women are afraid for their biological clock running our and make bad partner choices. Then again, i started my relationship at 25, and waited 6 years to have kids, and the relationship failed as well. So good luck out there y'all!

Man this video is great. Such a clear way to explain the game. Uncomfortable yes, but it’s great seeing both sides being told.

Oh Doc, ~ you'll never know how deeply this little chat strikes with me - you're my main man these days - keep it up ~ thanks again 😊

I'm 39 and done with men. Never been happier. The things they did to me, starting with my father, is nothing short of a horror movie (from psychological torture to physical violence) I am finally free of them and recuperating. Feeling happier and more peaceful every day.

My two cents: Some women over 30 are way bomb. Some even have 100% the looks. Though, nothing is more important than faith, personality, empathy, positivity, humor, and honesty (even blunt honesty). Extra points if she has skills. Oh, and she should know how to cook.

The problem is women intgeir 30s often come with baggage. Example children from multiple men and alot of emotional hurt fro dealing with fboys in their 20s . And they still expect a happy ending

I came here as a boy who wanted to get women🤡 but I came out as a man interested in psychology , history and genetics 🗿 .

Dude, you are absolutely killing it with this channel. Fantastic content.

Thanks!Wonderfully instructive! The story about dropping a handkerchief in Elizabethian England with plausible deniability is pure genius!!

I'm a man, but from what I've seen... A woman who takes care of her body keeps most of her value on the sexual marketplace no matter how old she gets. Some of their options may go away, but they will never experience anything close to the scarcity that men are facing. The real "wall" that most women encounter is when they become overweight. Most men do not prefer obese women, and most single over-30 American women are obese. I'm not trying to be mean, this is just honest advice that I think we need to destigmatize. Staying in shape is easily the most important thing any woman can do to be attractive, but for some reason we have just collectively agreed not to point it out. And besides that, people should be staying fit anyways because IT'S GOOD FOR YOU AND IMPROVES ALMOST EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE.

I know this wasn't intended to be funny, it truly isn't, but I couldn't stop laughing throughout it. Great job, sir!

I typically prefer a woman that's closer to 30 than closer to 20, simply because they do have more life experience and the potential to have developed more of a personality and appreciation for quality men. The only problem is, many of them have done neither of those. It's not your age, it's your attitude. Same goes for men.

When I was in my 20s I had two serious relationships with men also in their 20s that I loved. Same as all the women I knew. What is this nonsense that men aren’t wanted in their 20s.

All women in their 30s need to watch this video! It’s over ladies unless you change strategies, like us guys we have to learn to get what we want.

Congratulations on the book! I can’t wait to read it.

You are such a no nonsense plain spoken therapist. Love your psych hacks

I am 43, met the love of my life a year ago. We are engaged, he invested money into my new company, planning a family, we travel the world together, etc. before him I was single for 6 years by choice, I wasn’t even interested in meeting a man or dating…age doesn’t matter. He is 2 years older than me, I never been in a relationship with a man similar to my age before, all my previous men were all younger than me, the last was 7 years younger than me, we were together for 5 years, planning our wedding etc but I felt he wasn’t the man for me.

So this clip told me already what I knew never get with a woman post 28 - 29 and definitely not after 30. Because you don't want to end up as the man she had to settle for as her first choices didn't work out, and she remains in a constant bitterness and disappointed stage as you were neve her first choice.

Together with the 5 endgames one of your best videos by far. You succeed beautifully at formulating mazy thoughts and ideas which exist in most of us into crystal clear statements and ideas. Thank you so much Dr. Taraban for your work, I'm glad I found your channel a while ago.

Thanks, Orion. So happy to see you blowing up. I discovered you in the 4K-subscriber days. Goes to show that quality gets attention.

Thank you, Orion. Women in their twenties have several advantages and they have no problem competing against you for any man they want for any reason. However, any woman can change the odds by doing the one thing no one expects. Be what the man wants in a partner.

The effort is so important. As man turns above 30 he has done so much to be an attractive partner. you can't just be a lazy person. Most importantly, GO TO THERAPY! some of yall need to heal.

Dr. Taraban possesses such a rich linguistic repertoire, every time I see him speak, as a non-native, I find myself absorbing new vocabulary in the English language! Hats off to your mastery of expression, sir!

I love how real and practical u r

I love your content and I had a good laugh with the handkerchief scenario 😂

You can't expect a group of people who avoid accountability like the plague to countenance playing at a (relative) disadvantage.

Orien's impression is the funniest thing I've seen all day. Thanks for making me laugh 😂

If you’re feminine, kind, took good care of yourself in your twenties, have a good reputation, low body count, no kids, learnt to be around, low maintenance, and half way decent looking, you’re 110% gonna find a decent man. I’m 40 and talking to a 30 year old woman. The #1 I like her is she’s religious, a virgin, a very sweet and kind personality and she’s very pretty. Very humble. But honestly she’s the only woman I’ve met in the last 15 years of dating that I want to potentially be in a serious relationship with. I’m not wasting my time on damaged hard headed women with a past, and especialy not even gonna date a single mom.

Almost any woman can get a man. The problem is that she will almost always end up being disappointed with him.

I'm a 29 year old man and I feel like it's over. I'll believe otherwise when I see it

That's absolutely right. Great commentary.

I love this mutually beneficial advise.

I am a 32 Asian woman and please allow me to share my humble journey (English is not my first language so excuse my grammar errors). I am content with myself now more than ever before. Since 2021, I have started to get serious in training myself via heavy weight-lifting and swimming everyday. I walk 6,000-12,000 steps on top of that. I have not missed a workout session in 2 years (yes, through Christmas, Thanksgiving and Luna New Year which is very major in Asian culture). I never make excuses to not go to the gym, if the gym is closed, I work out at home. Having started with that daily discipline has helped me “domino” throughout other aspects in life. I read books, listening to educational podcasts and Buddhism teachings everyday. I’ve meet new people who have the same mindset and we formed a little community to improve ourselves and help each other when needed so I don’t feel lonely. When I’m by myself, I can just read a book, cook, clean up my apartment. I’m never bored. I have not had a drop of alcohol since 2019 and clean up my diet, eating healthy foods 90% of the time (10% to enjoy meals with friends and family without restrictions because I don’t want to be that person who can’t have pizza in my cousin’s birthday). I also meditate and enjoy life at a slower pace. I’m more calm and sharp, I work smarter and harder. I make enough money to survive on my own. With my healthier lifestyle, I look younger and some college guys hit on me thinking I’m only 22 and I feel like I have more romantic opportunities. Believe it or not, I turned down lots of dates because I have more options now than in my 20s. I don’t think I’m worthless at 32. Some RedPill guys may say I’m delusional and trying to comfort myself but I’m not here to argue with anyone. My comment is for other ladies over 30 to consider. Having children is a gift from Buddha, not a must or a priority. So if I can’t have children biologically, I can adopt an orphan or simply help orphanages. I’ve seen a co-worker having children at 47 (she had her firstborn in her 30s) because she takes care of their health exceptionally well so I do hope I can be like that too, but I’ve detached myself from that outcome. Thank you Dr. Orion for giving such realistic view about this topic. I rarely leave comments on public platforms but this video is well-thought so I might as well contribute my two cents 😊

Marriage too risky for men today, the game is rigged

Please keep swearing. I already LOVE LOVE LOVE your analysis. Your swearing gives your already superb intellectual thinking some kicks. So much fun!

it's never too late for anything! God is good.

10/10 for the true to life depiction of Victorian era England.

After being treated like dirt by women for most of my life, I find it impossible to sympathize with their problems.

Great analysis as usual 💪🏻

I was widowed at 40, remarried right before my 50th birthday as a female.... very happy.

I think the reality is that it’s very hard to control who we love. I think most of us aren’t that logical to force ourselves to just pick the best option available on paper

Listening to these types of videos is the only time I don’t mind being kind of old. None of this crap happened when I was younger. I did things the old fashioned way. After being with my girlfriend for two months I got her pregnant. We’re married 30 years next month and raised three sons to adulthood. We named our middle one Orion and thought we were being unique. I don’t know about now a days but the only way to make marriage work is just to decide to make it work. There’s no secret. We probably talked about getting divorced a few times over the year’s earlier in the marriage, but just didn’t. Now neither of us would even consider such a stupid thing. Neither of us could live the life we’re living now if we split up and we know at this stage neither of us would find anyone better and we don’t want to.

Congratulations on your book 🎉🎉🎉🎉

Thank-you. That was an interesting talk. I enjoyed it very much. 🙂

It's too late for them if their standards don't change. So tantamount to the same thing.

What ?! Women would have to work and make an effort to please her man 😱

Another gem of a video, distilling wisdom.

Love this channel! Wish I found it out sooner, in life.

Yeah, this matches my experience pretty well. Women are not destined to be alone once they reach the age of 30. They just have to give up this "I deserve this" and "he betta that" and "I know my worth now" BS that you see all over the internet. A regular, average man in his late thirties would rather be with a fit, feminine, friendly, low-maintenance woman in her 30s who makes his life easier and more comfortable than continue to work his ass off to deal with annoying, high-maintenance party girls in their 20s. Chad will still mess with those girls, but a regular dude would just be happy with a steady 6 who makes his life better. So ladies, if you're in your 30s and you want a man, you have to do something you've never had to do in your entire life, and probably no one has ever told you. You have to find out what that man wants out of a relationship and then you have to provide all those things - with a smile on your face. If you're not willing to do that, that's fine. But you're going to end up alone like all these other 30+ women who think they can give everything away for free in their 20s, but men will still be willing to wife them up in their 30s in return for absolutely nothing.

This is a good video, but the reality is that most women aren't going to change their strategy.

Love this episode! My pride has gotten me far in terms of work ethic, but when it comes to taking a more active approach to dating I can see how it’s gotten in the way. We’re told constantly by other women that the man has to pursue because it’s in their nature, the whole “if he wanted to he would” etc. There are just so many “rules” on both sides these days that I don’t even know what’s natural: organic when it comes to dating anymore.

This channel is soo good!

Well said sir! The game changes so women must change their strategy and become more aggressive!!! Truth.

I hope the women really listened to this because its solid advice! When I was younger (I'm 52 now) the women over 30 that I noticed were those who made an effort. In fact, I would argue that such women even have an advantage over younger women if they are attractive and kind. Men like to take the path of least resistance in the dating world so any attractive woman who makes an effort will put herself at a big advantage over most other women. Is it 100%? No, but nothing is. What it will do is great increase your odds of winning as a womam

Great episode - but my favorite part was listening to him show off that voice acting ability! Love it!

Thank you very much Dr. You are doing a incredibly and excellent work for the men and women :) !!!!

I'm 68 and fit and I thrive on women age 30-45 who realize they are better off having fun with me now than worrying about dying alone. I have no trouble keeping my social and sexual calendar full. Stay fit and save money people. Then you will not succumb to scarcity mindset. A scarcity mindset is the killer of youthfulness.

I met my wife when she was 33 and I was 35. Retrospectively, I would have preferred someone at least a few years younger than her (28-31), but the problem is that I tried and failed in multiple relationships with younger women. I was previously engaged to someone 6 years younger (I was born in 1985, she was born in 1991 - we were 31 and 25 when we met), and I also dated two girls born in 1998 while I was single, between my time with my ex-fiancé and my current wife. The problem I've found with most Gen Z women (which also applies to many so-called Zillennials like my ex) is that many of them have a lot of mental health issues and baggage that makes them less-than-ideal as marriage prospects. And many of them are simply not interested in settling down at all, either in their 20s OR 30s (when they get there). I do agree that it's not ideal to date a 30-something woman if you think that she's settling for you, and that she's alpha-widowed, but the grass is simply not greener with the below-30 crowd. 30-something women may be delusional for expecting that they're going to get a guy who's a perfect 10, but nowadays, a 30- or 40-something guy trying to wife up a typical 22-year old is just as delusional. Even IF you can date one (and I've done so), you might very well find the experience to be a case of, "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it."

Doc, the previews are beautiful

Lovely work brother

I think that is exactly true. However, women in their 30s should not waste time moving in with a man without a ring. They cannot afford to waste time. Usually the roommate scenario is a waste of time.

Value is about how you value yourself. I’m 37 and left a bad marriage a couple years ago. I’ve never been told I was beautiful (by total strangers) more than in the last couple years. Probably because I’ve never been happier. For me, it’s much better not being married. If a man is disrespectful, you can walk away. If you’re married, you can’t. I can provide for myself financially. Women are expected to have full-time jobs and do most of the housework. It’s much more work having to take care of someone else than doing whatever I want. I have no interest in being a personal assistant again. I hope I’ll eventually meet an equal partner, but my life is much more peaceful and easy by myself for now, so I can’t relate to the content of this video.

Hello! Wauw this is my first time listening to one of your videos. I am stunned! Usualy i hear women talk about this subject or a version spoken in a different way, this is realy good to hear, i never looked at it from this side, you are right and thanj you

Hysterical and accurate analogy with the handkerchief drop.

There is always some lonely guy with money that will take on kids, baggage, body count, and drama no matter the woman’s age.

This is very interesting. I feel fortunate that I met my husband when I was 26. He was 36. We have a nice life, 2 kids, 15 years in, we have our routines & have made strides on our goals. I'm content. It's nice to have a partner in life. I can not even imagine dating now in my mid-40's. God forbid something happened to my husband, I would probably just stay single. It seems like a lot of work these days to find a mate.

Many women who failed in their 30s become embittered and demanding in their 40s. There are plenty of 30-35 yo prospects for successful men who refuse to put up with an entitled and angry 45 year old who isn’t useful and supportive. This video contains great advice.

Want to have a leg up on your female competition ladies? Then be fit, feminine, and friendly. Lose the weight and no excuses. And like Dr. Taraban said, you need to make yourself available. Lastly, you must drop your excessive standards as you, like the men out there are mostly average. That's right, you're not special, you are average.

Premise 1: I want kids. Premise 2: you need 5-8 years to really get to know if a woman is a somewhat safe choice for a wife and mother of your children. Premise 3: a pregnancy after 35 is called a geriatric pregnancy. Join the dots.

women over 30 are like men who make less than $50k- for all intents and purposes, nobody really wants to be with you as a first or second choice.

Great insights!

LOL the Voice acting was very good btw :D