I was visiting my newly married uncle in 90s. I was a school going kid. My new aunt was the first working woman in the family. She had just come from work. My uncle asked her to make tea. My uneducated grandmother yelled at her son "She is doing your part, by earning money now you have to do her part by helping her with household work, she is just as tired as you are after working in her office". My late grandma who was born in 1934, was a feminist and loved all her daughter- in- laws. She had 6 sons and my mother and my aunts dont have anything negative to say about her.
@ankitamishra04057 ай бұрын
Wow amazing ❤.....wish to have such elder women in life
@anurajagopal3577 ай бұрын
Beautiful. I have seen the same with my grandmother. That was a sorted generation. The ones who came in 50s and later for some reason are messed up ..
@silviarodrigues33043 ай бұрын
@dkfitnesstube *devi... yes she was... she had the most calm and peaceful smile. She radiated peace.
@ranjitdhinsa86032 ай бұрын
Salute to her
@user-jk8eh1ol4u2 ай бұрын
Uneducated you mentioned but she was the highly educated woman of her time❤.
@lathaiyer8065 Жыл бұрын
In India, if the son abd wife are in the same city , they are supposed to live with parents. That's the mentality. One big fighting family.
@manjulahs5657 Жыл бұрын
Have patience
@Reeni22 Жыл бұрын
You are right sir. Man wants to enjoy parents and wife both and dont want to take any responsiblity. But wife is suffering in all situation
@truptikatekar7543 Жыл бұрын
Staying together is always a 'RECIPE' for disaster (in most cases). It's so good to stay at a distance and maintain healthy relationships.
@vartikavaish6377 Жыл бұрын
Agreee... duri se pyaar bana rahta hai
@WeeklycommentaryАй бұрын
@@vartikavaish6377 I agree aur duri agar jyada hai toh time time pe wapas paas aya jata hai (ye toh Shayari ho gyi)
@payalkathole981318 күн бұрын
very difficult to do so.
@Sai-q4d Жыл бұрын
I have seen in Singapore, Chinese couples live as a neighbour with their parents..I felt awkward but now understand that is correct.
@positivelyhappymom3238 Жыл бұрын
Problem in our culture is that elders are never wrong !!! Sir, lot of children go into depression but do not tell their parents that they want to live separately for fear of what other people will say .
@manjulahs5657 Жыл бұрын
We are not brought up in this manner. Whatever happens we take care of our elders and children and relatives and society and our country and values
@shivanginipathak3347 Жыл бұрын
Problem is conditioning that parents are correct and evil resides in the children not realising that it's the older generation which sometimes is rigid and doesn't want to change. And it's a harsh truth dusre ki aulaad ko koi pyar nahi karta, the Bahu won't ever get the love which her mother gives her. No matter how much you do there will always be something missing to please the entire clan of in law's. Best is opt for your financial independence have your own house in your own name and do not take shit from anyone. Kyon ki after their death akele khud ki counsellor ke chakkar lagane hote hain
@IamSoangelic Жыл бұрын
😢भाई ये बंदा भी तो थी bolra झेला
@laroia19785 ай бұрын
Same here
@rishabhsingh-mb6wm10 күн бұрын
That's amazing statement.
@ashaarora58748 ай бұрын
Good advice sir, working bahu and non working saas should never ever live together in the same house. The big problem will be saas will expect working bahu to do everything in the house because saas will always be reminding her of herself like” when I was a bahu I used to get up at 4 am to make breakfast for everyone, used to do laundry with my hands,used to cook dinner for everyone, on weekends I used to clean the whole house and also took care of the children” And saasu ma is expecting the same from her bahu, ignoring the point that bahu is earning and giving the max cash to the in laws. Want peace, happiness? Live separate, make visits to each other’s houses!
@wowser2153Ай бұрын
In many houses now , mother in law is the house maid cook and baby sitter
@deepikabhatia728920 күн бұрын
U r right mam but in laws don't let this happen too.they are afraid that they will loose their son and making him emotionally dependent on them till now like when a man reach late 30's still they can not take any decision on themselves,they will utter everything told to them by their parents, they can not think on their own and would expect the girl k yar thoda sa hi to adjust karna hai, can they even imagine to live with their in laws and if such situation arrives can they live in that atomsphere answer is clear NO
@wtkc1290 Жыл бұрын
New Bahu k liye koi khana nhi banata . Sham ki chaye k liye bhi bahu ki wait ki jati h k kab ayegi or chaye banayegi. Morning ka nashta bna k Jana . Koi guest aa geya to uskha bhi bna k jao. Agar ghar se bahar bhi rehte h to har Saturday Sunday Ghar jao . Fir sabki baten suno parents ki sewa Kiya Karo . Bachhe ho gye to aeyge nhi hum apna ghar nhi chhod sakte. Dusri city main akele rho bache Palo job karo . Husband ka koi sath nhi. Parents financial koi help nhi karte. Apna kamaye g apna khaye g.
@nilinimagupta5311 Жыл бұрын
Meri bahu ko aaye ek saal ho gaya h .Main hamesha usko office ka tiffin aur breakfast chai banaker deti hu aur dinner k taiyyari bhi uske wapas aane se pehle karke rakh deti hu.uske aane per kadak chai banati hu aur wo kabhi apne room m jaker rest nahi karti balki hum chai peeker sofe per letter khoob gappe marte hai jab tak hum dono k husbands ghar aate hai. Uske baad bas 10-12 roti banane ka kaam karna hota h
@MeghaKaushik5678 Жыл бұрын
@@nilinimagupta5311 mam ye to apki achai he na.. bt har ksi k nasib me ap jese samjhdar lady nahi hoti na.. kitna b kamalo kitna b kaam krlo .. 2 roti k lie ginwaya jata he.. I am still happy K kisi k to bahu khush he .. stay happy stay blessed
@nilinimagupta5311 Жыл бұрын
@@MeghaKaushik5678thank u megha & all the best for u 😊
@wtkc1290 Жыл бұрын
@@nilinimagupta5311apke jaise bohat kamm h . My mom is same as you
@wtkc1290 Жыл бұрын
@@MeghaKaushik5678 right ma'am
@Jagritisidar_750 Жыл бұрын
I am working woman, we live in rented house apart from in-laws rather our in-laws house are very close to home and our both family are living happily.
@snehagaur34638 ай бұрын
Me tòo❤
@blueskysings1 Жыл бұрын
Guys of this generation r the worst …sir is absolutely correct . They wil take advantage of parents also n wife also and sit back doing nothing . Very point on
@abhilashabhargav7376Ай бұрын
Me working woman hu or 5 hrs updown rhta h bus se na husband sath rhte h But itna travel krke bhi bas aate hi kitchen me lgo or sabki sewa kro Tabiyat kitni bhi kharab ho but bahu ko kon puchta h Akele ro leti hu but kisi ko nhi kh pati ki socha tha service lgegi to life easy ho jayegi but sab kch ulta hua na meri value na service ki or bas kaam krte rho Mene ab tak ki life se yhi seekha h ki bahu sirf or sirf nokrani hoti h chahe service me ho ya house wife
@MilagrinaАй бұрын
Naukri kar ke bhi yeh haal kyun banayi aap ne. Why u allow it.
@abhilashabhargav7376Ай бұрын
@@Milagrinahusband made this situation for me and I don't know kabhi nikl bhi paungi isse
@saraswathyhanumankar2509 Жыл бұрын
A working wife and mother living with in-laws is a candle burning at both ends at the same time.
@SourabhGautam-so5bo11 ай бұрын
Ask this question 30 years later from your self
@akhilaadimulam189510 ай бұрын
@@SourabhGautam-so5bo So now what should a women in her place or similar place like me do
@strikersoccer95359 ай бұрын
Just try to keep both ends separate by continuously adding wax😏
@433nehasinghal Жыл бұрын
Sir India me mushkil h saans bahu ko chai bana kar de,agar bahu hungry h n khana kha lena once in while to fir ghar me sabke mooh ban jate hai.Jab wo saans banti h to retirement le leti h, chahe bahu working ho ya non working.. Bana banaya lene me bhi bura lag jata h in-laws ko....ki khana lekar khana pad gaya ..bahu ne paap karwa diya.. secondly if couples r working , to ghar me rehkar gate kholna maid keliye wo bhi kaam h .
@tsgaming4584 Жыл бұрын
Bilkul sahi Kaha aapne I m working Kids were taken by my parents. But in law treat me like a servant door open Karo sab chije hath mein do tabh bhi khush nahi hote. Apni beti ek glass pani de de arre woh to humari bahut care karti apna ghar jhod kar humare yaha aakar baithi hai 10years se. Husband bhi unhi ka favor karte hai
@arpanmadrecha946 Жыл бұрын
@@tsgaming4584 that's why marry a single child sibling wale very dangerous set up
@ninanani40858 ай бұрын
सास की छोड़ो, बेटियां मां से भी भूख लगने पर हक से खाना नही मांग पातीं, जिस हक से बेटा खाना मांगता है। बेटी से तो expected होता है कि उल्टे भाई को बना कर खिला दे। लड़की होकर मां से कैसे मांग सैरीभाई। कुछ घरों को छोड़ दें तो तो बेटियां अपने घर में भी दबी दबी रहती हैं। मां के प्यार की कहानियां, कविताएं, यादें, सब बेटे और मान की कहानियां होती हैं, बेटी और मां की नहीं।
@ruchishrivastava7347Ай бұрын
@@ninanani4085freedom sabse jyada important hai Ye sare logon ko chhod do aap
@shwetathakur22795 күн бұрын
@@ninanani4085hmari youngest sister ko bni bnayi chay milti h ar khana bhi prosati h mammy nasta bhi ready hota h . bhai se jyda usk nakhre hote h .but bt jb meri aati h wo ek cup chay bhi nikal k nhi deti h bhale bnaya maine ho. N wo hme hmare psand k chize bnane deti h
@bhawnahooda Жыл бұрын
Waah Sir ji. Gazab clarity milti h apke videos se. 👏👏 Please cover the scenario of women who are working from home. Managing the kitchen thoroughly and not able to concentrate on job which they are paid for. Because everyone thinks- Ghar se hi toh kaam kar rhi h, 1 ghanta baad kr legi pehle yeh kr lo. In laws be like - full time maid hai ghar me lekin khana bahu k hath ka hi khayege ,cook k hath me swad nahi ata. And Bahu is not able to concentrate on office work due to all this.
@theunahime7446 Жыл бұрын
@@ygp47 I hope you understand how fragile your job/career is to understand the current job climate and contemplate your comment. I have to deal with this every day with newborn sick MIL and uncooperative husband.
@bhawnahooda Жыл бұрын
@@ygp47 good food will one from good earning. Not from the family where wife needs to giveup on the job for just cooking and kitchen households.
@vaibhavneo Жыл бұрын
Kudos to you for bringing such discussions and opening eyes of all generations. I make sure I never miss these and there are layers of learning throughout. Much appreciated 🙏
@anitasharma-dj2rx Жыл бұрын
Meri life mein opposite scene hai.. mother -in - law and father -in-law 75+age...they have been dependent on us .. causing frictions for the entire 25 years of my marital life
@arpanmadrecha946 Жыл бұрын
Now people will search for hus/wife who do not have parents at the time of marriage only till the son/daughter starts working
@sbsrt Жыл бұрын
@@hemangshrivastava9561 very gud
@akhilaadimulam189510 ай бұрын
Even if the wife is earning in lakhs husband still emotionally blackmails saying that u don’t like my parents u don’t want to stay with them
@smitamudgerikar9756 Жыл бұрын
Without adjustment, ghar grihasthi nahin ho sakti. Best is all members of the household sit down, decide and share expenses , decide who will do what work inside or outside the house ( like buying groceries) and keep one weekend per month for socialising with relatives.
@arpanmadrecha946 Жыл бұрын
Best is single child family both hus/wife side at least in middle and upper middle class set up so less issues in rich class anyways parents give a separate house at the time of marriage to avoid any issues afterwards but Indian parents want a back up so they have 2 kids only for such purposes nothing else with such toxicity between children and parents children should straightaway ask the parents why did they have them in the first place in public and they should be made to feel guilty so at least they will not trouble the new DINK trend couples
@healthoic6623 Жыл бұрын
Good Thought mam 👍
@PULKITKAUL-great Жыл бұрын
Good earning boys should not marry working girl or party cat. Better to have beautiful village homely girl. Adjustment will be easy.
@bmvinod1243 Жыл бұрын
Most people are not socializing these days especially in cities. I do not know what he is talking.
@PULKITKAUL-great Жыл бұрын
@@ManjisthaDas03 Exceptions are there. But I think most good earning men should avoid working women for marriage.
@truptikatekar7543 Жыл бұрын
Very very practical and real from a working woman's point of view. Badalte waqt ki jarurat bhi alag hote hai.. Woman cannot do all those things that they used to do. Kar Bhi le to easy nahi hai...struggle hai bohot bada. Abhi ka time alag chal raha hai.
@47beena9 ай бұрын
You are right I m 77 years old I was a working woman . But you are practical . I have listen to some other vedios . I m so fed up My children have grown up. I am living alone independently . I m very happy My husband living in another home My son Have different homes So we have three homes :)
@urstruly1567 Жыл бұрын
विषय और वर्णन अच्छा है । गेस्ट बन कर रहते हैं लेकिन आजकल सास खर्च मांगती है चाहे साथ रहो न रहो। घर के हर खर्चे में डोनेशन दो चाहे मामा की बेटी की शादी, चच्चा के बेटे की शादी। समझदार वही माता पिता हैं जो समय रहते बेटे बहु को अलग कर दो ताकि प्यार भी बना रहे और उन्हें ज़िन्दगी समझने का मौका मिले और वे परिपक्व हो जाये और अपनी जिम्म3दरियों का निर्वहन के4 सके। हमारे मां बाप ने 30 साल पहले हमें खुद कहा के बेटा अपनी ज़िंदगी जियो जैसे दूसरे भाई कर रहे, तुम क्यों बंधे रहो हमारे साथ और हमने भी सारे फ़र्ज़ निभाये उनसे दूर रहते हुए भी और वो भी सिंगल अर्निंग करते हुए।
@arpanmadrecha946 Жыл бұрын
But if you are not taking from them then do not give them also and also pl be careful before marrying such a person
@thelittlebirdie5822 Жыл бұрын
True.. kharcha mangna is constant though we hardly visit them thrice a year. But electricity bill n all hame hi pay karna hota h
@abhisheksainani Жыл бұрын
I have also used the sukh of staying with my parents even after marriage. Within a year I realized my foolishness, that I should have realized in one month. My parents never asked me or even my wife to do anything at home so I never did anything. Finally my mother had to push me to live separately so that I grow up. My parents were fine with us staying separately even before our marriage but I was stubborn to stay together. I'm glad my parents and my wife took care of my marriage and helped me grow up to be a better man. Left to me, I'd have messed up all my relationships and also be surprised ki ye sab kaise ho gayaa.
@swatigulyani1 Жыл бұрын
No u r not anti - anybody... u speak practical things..I love your content.. i appreciate your wisdom ..
@vipulghai10 Жыл бұрын
Sir. I know only one thing that i have experienced till now in my life. Every person is comfortable in his or her choice of living and for that many games are played. But its not always the Children or Daughter in law who are at fault. Sometimes, parents also don't want to adjust and they blame the current financial scenario of their children. And when you force them to live with you, they say no by answering that they want PEACE OF MIND. This is quite common for Parents living in small cities and children living in big cities or in fact out of INDIA. A Son cannot blame WIFE for everything if PARENTS don't like her at all as she speaks her mind. So, best decision for any son should be to support his WIFE in such a scenario as she will be passing life with him much longer than his or her parents. And if PARENTS have their favourite SON or DAUGHTER then there is no point of any duscussion ...
@DeepshikhaRamRam30 Жыл бұрын
Good Answer 👍 well Appreciated
@priyabhasharma5620 Жыл бұрын
Absolutely right
@vipulghai10 Жыл бұрын
@@priyabhasharma5620 Thanks
@himanginaik2682 Жыл бұрын
So true n my summarisation of my life for past 3 years
@arlyneditsx Жыл бұрын
Sir.. if in-laws are totally financially dependent on u and wants to live with us in our rented accommodation, and in-laws want the daughter in law to serve them all the time.. and try to create conflict between the couple so to rule the house and son’s finances also.. unko kya kahoge
@jayaramanpr8159 Жыл бұрын
Indian boys should marry only if they are capable to lead an indepedent life. My daughter is married to Marathi boy and he left her in my house after producing a child because my doninlaw never wanted to stay separately. I am retired without pension.
@annipaul91 Жыл бұрын
Humari saas to churi, bindi, palla se upar nehi uth pati hai. Unke liye ek bahu ka kaam sirf churi, bindi lagage bahu k tarha dikhna or koi v person jo riste me bade hai unke entry and exit me pair choona hai taki wo apne baki ristedaro ko dikha sakhe ki bahu kitni gharelu hai. Aise log baaki baatein kabhi samajh hi nehi sakte.
@mohitdubey203 Жыл бұрын
Kal tum bhi unki jagah logi aur tumhari Bahu bhi aise hi KZfaq PE tunahre bare me aise hi comment kr rhi hogi 😂
@amar8574 Жыл бұрын
😂😂
@Discoworldbliss15 күн бұрын
Aur thoda bhi rebel karne par 10 myths n superstitions +aap feminist (negative version thereof) alag.
@Discoworldbliss15 күн бұрын
Plus baaki working bahuein se comparison alag..unki waali to sube k nashta n raat ka dinner bhi banati h.cook k hote hue bhi😅
@jyotiparmar3874 Жыл бұрын
Very nice video sir. Raat ko bhagvad gita padhti hu. Din me aap ke video se gyan leti hu. Thank you very much sir indian society ke liye aap bahot achha kaam kar rahe ho.
@leenatdas Жыл бұрын
Its very important that the husband understands this part than in-laws ..They try to manage both and actually its a wrong attempt itself.Couples often suffer staying with in-laws..
@kabisvlog1712 Жыл бұрын
👏👏👏superb.... I laughed when i said... Khana aap bana lo mai paros dungi, or bolna maine banaya😂
@subansirimishra2336 Жыл бұрын
Good answer you gave to that couple. I am a young daughter in law. But i completely agree with u. Some people will take all the help from their own parents or in laws, like in most cases to raise their children since they are working. But will have 1000 complaints and will speak bad against them. If you have so much bad blood then don't stay with them na.
@sujathagopal7939 Жыл бұрын
you have hit the nail on the head. i have always felt that young people should get married only when they are willing to financially support themselves independently from parents.
@abhijeetpanchal9301 Жыл бұрын
Some girls do not wish to live with in laws. Then do not expect boys to respect her parents.
@sujathagopal7939 Жыл бұрын
@@abhijeetpanchal9301 ... what does not wanting to live with inlawa have to do with respecting them?
@abhijeetpanchal9301 Жыл бұрын
@@sujathagopal7939 Never force boy to meet girl parents. Simple
@abhijeetpanchal9301 Жыл бұрын
@@ManjisthaDas03 Tomorrow you will force men to be pregnant. Maybe girl education is backfiring in some cases.
@CAPARTH89 Жыл бұрын
Then young people will avoid maariage or will delay marriage. Its a disasterous thinking
@sahanapk Жыл бұрын
It is always better to live in neighborhood. Not in same house. Both wife's and husband's parents should be taken care. But both in near by house. And no one should discuss or criticize unnecessary issues.
@user-my5od4eg5y2 ай бұрын
I agree
@seemanandan7817 Жыл бұрын
Very well said sir👍 99℅ men are like these
@BrijeshKumar-ct4te Жыл бұрын
Exceptional video, fully agree with it. 👏MAG Amrit mera, Vish tumhara. Both side needs to understand that there will always be situation when either side needs the other. The situation need to be looked in totality. As a individual our success is not most of the times only because of us, it is because of the people who support us some times willing or sometimes unwilling but their contribution to our lifes can't be ignored. Gratitude is very important for what we have and always focus on improving our situation in life. We are sometimes not ready to pay the price for the facilities we aspire in life. I think there lies the problem. We want parents when we are in difficult situation but don't want them when we are having good times. We should take ownership of the choices we make in our life. There are choices and it consequences.
@saumyapunekar8625 Жыл бұрын
Best video ever ! best to leave seperately from inlaws for own good. Dil has to be strong enough to fight for your rights . Men always want best if both the world's without suffering on health and career .Girl and her parents will always suffer in such marriages .Be smart and sensible to reject the proposals from such men in the beginning 😃👌❤️
@abhinavkumar3398 Жыл бұрын
Amazing case study series. Thank you sir for this video I have resolved my family problem on the basis of this problem....thanks a lot.
@bharatr2615 Жыл бұрын
Extremely true... Mostly aisa hi hota hai...they want to stay with inlaws/parents...but no give back...
@sheelamallya4988 Жыл бұрын
Excellent video on modern family problems! Very fair and practical advice to all the family members! 🙏🙏
@Hetal28 Жыл бұрын
Sir thanks for your continued efforts to keep families together in a progressive way. You have a problem solved approach 🙌🏻
I have watched most of your vedios. They are really eyeopeners. Your studies are deep rooted ,comments are hard-hitting and suggestions are out of box. I wish that your vedios are seen,implemented and appreciated by everyone in their own interest .
@amrutapisat57499 ай бұрын
A good video Sir. Pls also make a case study wherein working bahu also helps in household chores yet she is targeted all the time coz all working bahus are nor parasites o n their in- laws. Even we understand situations and try to balance both house and office work. The life in Mumbai is already hectic and despite giving the best, it's the bahu who is targeted especially by mother- in law
@satviksoni6427 Жыл бұрын
Baat to theek hai, but there’s always a flip side. Kuch log yeh dekhne ke baad “ baghbaan” chalu kar denge. I have seen parents over dominating or overpowering their beta bahu for staying in their house & hurt thm with showing ehsaan and sacrcasm.
@arana4886 Жыл бұрын
Iske upar sir ne kaafi videos banayi hain, conclusion bata deta hun : if parents are toxic and kaafi kalesh hai, live separately, rent or buy, baaki nearby location pe ghar lena, ye easy nhi hoga obviously but this is the best......
@geetikasingh2770 Жыл бұрын
True
@pankajbansal5040 Жыл бұрын
Bête Bahu ne Near by ghar liya to lanchan laga jaynge padosiyon ke ki nai nai bhyah ke aayi bahu ne bete ko budde maa baap se nyara kar diya .
@bhawnasingh3530 Жыл бұрын
Sahi baat hai
@kriti644 Жыл бұрын
Bilkul sahi kaha apne
@graphicpoint4386Ай бұрын
Aap bhut ache Jo real issue topics chedte ho jo wakai thoda controversy hota h
@mitenr10 ай бұрын
Indian families have evolved a long way from what is being portrayed........ today we see a lot of co-operation and co-ordination between family members in Indian families......these Hum Log series times have gone long back......
@GajendraSingh-yk3pu Жыл бұрын
Great video sir…very practical, relevant to my present situation bcz I am passing with this situation. You are really great guru Ji 👍👍🙏
@jeetvishnoi3770 Жыл бұрын
My wife took advantage of my mother for 3 years as my mother was doing everything and i was looking for outside work. But after 3 years when responsiblity came she started saying living seperately. But what ever you told is there in america but more divorces are happening. It means that is mot sollution for successful marriage.
@mariaj410 ай бұрын
First of all such moms need to have their limits and boundaries when supporting family. Second, there should be planning for her difficult times beforehand and not something expected out of the DIL. At any given point of time the efforts required to take care of an elderly is a lot more than handling other things. Children are future assets but oldies aren't. Therefore, one must plan things in a way that they can be taken care of by someone as own members may not want to be a part of that.
@itisfunstuff5 ай бұрын
This is "THE" best video ever! Straight forward and No bullshit!! Every person should hear it!
@abhiography Жыл бұрын
Aap kisi k bhai aur kisi k guru. Thank you
@bkumar2386 Жыл бұрын
Ankh khol rahe ho gurji bohot bada kaam kar rahe ho 🤩 all family members should watch this not in group but individually 🤣
@nitinbindal2275 Жыл бұрын
We are going on international ways of life where parents and child will not live together
@arpanmadrecha946 Жыл бұрын
And also never talk to each other in those countries it is mutual and understood and sometimes parents even help them in some way whatever possible to get a house if required initially both hus/wife are working mostly but in India it is different you have to still follow some traditional norms and if staying away it is due to toxicity mostly not mutual and sometimes such that is son/wife managed to earn good then they might just not think of ever visiting the parents due to past toxicity in such a scenario I was thinking logically if parents and children relationship is coming to a stage where it could result in a fight then do not understand the logic behind having kids and even pressurizing still the new gen to have grand kids in that case new DINK trend is better to at least avoid continuing disputes for next generation at least current new hus/wife will live their life peacefully till whatever age they live and hopefully they expire before their children have to take care of them in that way there will be no fights and hence peaceful existence
@Avve22 Жыл бұрын
Thanks a lot for bringing such discussions, being a newly married, we should agree that its always better to stay a little away from either of the parents..
@MeghaKaushik5678 Жыл бұрын
Sir apne idea acha dia he..but asal jindagi me apply ho nahi skta.. Agr bahu initiate kre alag rehne ka to sare gaav me dhindora pita jata he k bahu ghar todne ayi he Or saas to apne bete se alag hona nahi chahti kuki alag rahenge to control kese krenge fir I would really request you to make video for implementation of such ideas as well.. agar beta bahu ek hi colony ya apt me dusra flat le k rahe to ye bat kabbi bhi sas sasur ko nahi pachegi kuki padosi rishtedar sb jagah naak kat jaegi unki. Inlaws are ok if we stay in some other city..but they are not ok if we stay in nearby society kuki aas paas me to sabhi k samne unki beijjati hogi k beta bahu dekho alag hogye inhone kuch kia hoga
@LoveYourself-my9nzАй бұрын
Thodi bezzati sehni pdegi aap confident rho. Aap unhe dusre reason dedo jisse vo satisfied ho jaye jese ki bcho ki pdhayi k liye hm door reh rhe h, pti ki job door h tb or thoda confident hokr light way mai bolo ki shadi to pti k sath rehne k liye hi ki h to vhi rhenge na or hmare saas sasur itne backward nhi h vo smjhte h. Aapko thoda reverse psychology krna pdega ese logon k sath. Kuchh states mai ye zyada hi h. Hmare yhan pr log bolte h pr itna nhi to bs ldke pr depend h.
@user-my5od4eg5y2 ай бұрын
I agree with you sir I suffered for 14 years with my mother in law No freedom Iam working woman No rest for me After coming from work i have to entertain relatives who lived in the same area and my mother in law 's friends This continued for 14 years With the help of my colleague and dear friend iam living separately for the past 10 years Golden time No stress No fight No arguments Peace peace and peace
@decrypt121 Жыл бұрын
सरा तमस् हर लिया तीसरी आँख खोल दी आपने तो! जिसने skip कर के देखा वो नहीं समझेगा ये बात
@mitenr10 ай бұрын
And the dynamics of every family is so unique and different that one cannot generalise.....
@jackysaini4898 Жыл бұрын
Only Solution for these shit issues,,,Stay as far as you can from Marriage Hutiyaapa in today's generation. It's completely headache🤬
@mariaj410 ай бұрын
Easier said than done.
@shijag007 Жыл бұрын
Hahaha loved it when u said Kamina. Indeed interesting hearing from you but so true.
@sonakaushal31302 ай бұрын
Aapki baate sahi h.. mere case me .. kuch alag bhi h.. please reply.. I'm gov job holder bahu.. after marriage in -laws forced me to transfer in their place.. as they'll pamper my child.. now i got transfer in their rural areas.. n now I hv 2 Lil kids.. both of them carry with me on my place too everyday.. no help in this combined family (kunwa of 40 person) mil always saying.. humne kisi ke bacche nhi pale. .. humse kuch nhi hoga..
@nilinimagupta5311 Жыл бұрын
Great video sir U have touched every aspect in the video of both couples . Pl make atleast one video on case study every week .
@Homemanagement Жыл бұрын
Yes I too want videos on case studies
@nsharma6322 Жыл бұрын
So much hue & cry over socially-booked weekends??!! Listen to this - I am exceptionally qualified (by social standards), earned more money than anyone else in my household, but I had to leave my job due to my Mother-in-law. She expected me to continue my job, while - 1. Doing household chores till the minute leave for office and resume chores the minute I m back ! 2. Maintain a very low profile since my higher income was triggering her insecurities 3. Should contribute equally to family finances, so that my husband is able to "save" more than me 4. Have kids because they are oh-so-looking-forward to having grand children. But despite a 24 hour house help and a separate aaya (nanny) for the kid i am suppose to handle the kid the minute I enter the house, while she flops infront of TV ! Why ? Because she has raised her kids and now people who birthed the kids should handle their own kids. 5. High attrition of house helps because she would mistreat them grossly despite the fact that I was paying for them ! 6. After all this...bahu is paise k peeche pagal and has ruined the household atmosphere because of her career ambitions!
@ruchishrivastava7347Ай бұрын
Better live seperately
@userww--aa Жыл бұрын
I agree with your analysis. I think this is a socio economic problem. Indian middle class unfortunately lead a very stifled life because they think too much of what others will say. The rich class and poor class ( which by the way are not really poor ) do not care much about these things. I think the need of the hour is to think independently and youngsters need to follow their heart and do what they love.
@Priyanka_Jaiswal_ Жыл бұрын
Waiting.... As I m in the same situation
@sonuarya229 Жыл бұрын
Very nice...... Same situation kafi logo ki h
@madhurana142 Жыл бұрын
Agar bahu beta alg rahenge to maa baap kahenge ki kaisi bahu aayi hmare bete ko le gyi ya fir kaam kon krega ghr ke bahu chli jayegi to.
@arishisood Жыл бұрын
Great advice. But what if parents have left their own home and living in their kids home to look after their grandchildren because beta Bahu are both working. How will the dynamics play then..
@arpanmadrecha946 Жыл бұрын
Then follow DINK so no dependence on grand parents
@bmvinod1243 Жыл бұрын
Most people are not socializing these days especially in cities. I do not know what he is talking.
@abhijeetpanchal9301 Жыл бұрын
Some girls do not wish to live with in laws. Then do not expect boys to respect her parents.
@good123g Жыл бұрын
Grand Parents should not be used to take care of grand children. They should enjoy the retirement
@sweta579610 ай бұрын
@@abhijeetpanchal9301 if girls are expecting not to live with in laws then dont live with girl's parents i mean ur in laws.. both of you should stay separately from both side of the parent.. u take care of ur parents till their end and let the girl take care of her parents till their end.. simple..
@Tina-gw2ew Жыл бұрын
Excellent thoughts shared....much needed for the young generation Who face the age old traditional practices........you touched very practical aspects of marriage. Thanks.
@nehasharma1570 Жыл бұрын
Hello sir, suddenly some video of yours popped on my screen 15 things to be taught to children...then obviously I liked your video and started scrolling other videos too. This was the 2nd video, any others will follow seeing them. But seeing these types of videos from you is so good to see, I can resonate these things as it happened with me, starting me bahut din tak I cribbed about all these but I couldn't resist or change any thing, but it used to affect me mentally but no change still. Then I stopped cribbing as now I am out of country. But thik hai Jo bhi hua mere sath but aaj apke videos dekh Kar inspiration mil rahi atleast ye ki me galat nai soch rahi thi
@mayanksinghfartiyal52909 ай бұрын
I think living with family is good provided you have a relatively big home. There is barely any privacy in a small home
@vivanranjan261 Жыл бұрын
Need a video on envy encountered by one's friends, relatives on sharing international travel photos social media , flexing your lifestyle on instagram should one do it or not ? Also, envy arising from career advancement even after doing the above Much needed topic when the youth spends avg 4 hrs daily on social media
@nadeemsmarty Жыл бұрын
Perfectly presented all the points.
@aaravkairavlogs7746 Жыл бұрын
Sir, hmaara ghar ka tho scene he alag hai. I am elder daughter in law, mera bht shoshan kiya gya. I was married at 24 and had no idea of how to manage relationships. I was literally depressed and had migraine. Now after 13 years of my marriage, my devrani has come. Everyone’s perspective of bahu has changed now. My mother in law is like a slave to her. She wakes up at 11 or 12 then is served Tea with breakfast. We both are working, I have 2 kids and still I am seen like a bandhwa mazdoor. Itne bur’e Karam tho nhn honge Sir. I feel bad for myself 😢
@funnlearnforkidshi5 Жыл бұрын
I have seen these kinds of Mother in laws my life...one was my Grandmother who used to butter my Chachi just bcoz she was in an another house...away from city...and used to put pressure on my mother to work all the time....eventually Saasu passes away...and aapka time aayegaa...as of now...try becoming independent by any means ...anything that u excel in....so that there is an income and mind gets diverted
@aaravkairavlogs7746 Жыл бұрын
@@funnlearnforkidshi5 I am working and earn a good amount. I have this problem when she is valued above everything and I feel bad the way I have been treated. It actually make my moral down.
@mishikaraghuwanshi4265 Жыл бұрын
I feel so sorry that you had to go through this. It hurts seeing the same set of people behaving differently with someone else.
@arpanmadrecha946 Жыл бұрын
@@mishikaraghuwanshi4265 - that is the problem even there is only 1 child then automatically both adjust without too much issues so less interference from siblings also only thing both have to contribute towards the expense of the house help except that use your room for the activity if staying in the house or go outside on 1 of the days or may be to inlaws house but there also wife should be the only one no siblings else there also will be issues one cannot just go like that friends you can visit them at their house or outside at a common agreed location and keep trying to buy a house or may be some men might look for a high income earning girl and never come back at all to visit the parents house if too much tension already which also some parents will complain afterwards because relatives will come only for entertainment when they know that the son/wife never come to visit parents at all then they will try to incite the parents and they might get depressed there are cases where like he mentioned if both are high earning by chance then in some cases they might never visit the parents at all if toxicity was due to finances UpTo each family if it was mutual then it's another thing so in future both hus/wife will forget about their parents once they start earning good or that will be their only aim and then they will completely ignore the parents unless there is some other unknown reason you know this is the reason Indian parents have 2 kids it is called their own selfishness so new DINK trend is a step towards reducing such toxicity with children as they are DINK
@DrShrinkhalaSrivastava Жыл бұрын
I have also suffered the same. But it's never too late. Stand-up for yourself now dear and try to limit your any kind of dependency on your in laws.
@NPD_1111 Жыл бұрын
Sir watching your video for the first time. You have explained this situation really well. It's more like councelling to young couple🙏🙏
@sourabhchouksey961 Жыл бұрын
Maza a gya ❤ Dil maage more casestudy🎉
@studyzoology55435 ай бұрын
I'm suffering from toxic behaviors because I'm working .. and living with in-laws
@niteshc9689 ай бұрын
You're doing great job by giving direction to people.
@ashatiwari9023 Жыл бұрын
Kash ap jesi soch vichar mere ghar ke kisi ek sadasy m bhi hoti...kash me unhe bta pati ki dekho meri jesi soch sirf meri hi nai kisi or ko bhi h
@vartikaverma2421 Жыл бұрын
I am a working women.breakfast n dinner my responsibility. I am paying to maid for taking care of my daughter n for house cleaning n dish cleaning. n many more expenses I am taking care of.but still my mother-in-law always say bad about me in front of their relative.even I take care her also.
@dailylifeactivities1690 Жыл бұрын
In same boat...Tkng care f maid,cook,nanny expense,when mil arrives gv everything in hand,do all her shopping,always gv gifts but ek word nhi appreciation ka.
@WYyXXX10 ай бұрын
make them realize that dnt take u for granted.
@sharmarohini1984 Жыл бұрын
Mere saath toh alag scene tha. Paise bhi do, maid bhi bano. Aur galiyena bhi suno. Phir hum inlaws se alag ho Gaye. Then they started blaming us like kids left us.
@MeghaKaushik5678 Жыл бұрын
Dont feel bad Mam.. its ok to choose peaceful life over daily melodrama. Best of luck
@meenakumariarora4396 Жыл бұрын
Good story sir. But it's a request give suggestion or a story if the sin is giving the rent and giving the entire salary to parents. Only food is given to daughter in law. She has to do husband's work and child work. After that also if the husband is unhappy with wife. What is the suggestion you will give for that family they can laugh???????
@lathaiyer8065 Жыл бұрын
Yeh rules ladke ke shadi se pehle hi banana chahiye.
@Abhimanyu_pandey Жыл бұрын
Bohat sahi tha yrr ye toh kya mst case study hai
@stun_niketa8520 Жыл бұрын
In my case, my in-laws are completely dependent on us. They live in our house and my husband gives them all the monthly expenses as well as he is looking after all the expenses of the younger brother also as and where needed. My mother-in-law talks so unnecessary to me and wants her full control of her over me and her son. I am tired of her daily tantrums. We were living in the UK peacefully but I had severe health issues there because of the bad weather and my husband wanted to come to India so we recently moved here. The whole family is dependent on my husband's income and my MIL doesn't stop. She speaks the whole day blah blah and gives all her tantrums to me. She doesn't leave a second without showing her desi saaspana. I have told my husband to live on rent because my in-laws are old age so we can't tell them to stay on rent. My husband feels he will be seen as a bad son if he talks of living separately. We can afford living separately but my husband doesn't want to be a bad son in his parents eyes.
@rohitmehta1216 Жыл бұрын
Do you earn?? or do you work and have salary? , if not then you are also a dependent and a leech. what value you are adding in the marriage? Answer these question to yourself.
@Shital0033 ай бұрын
Ekdum right bole sirji .. ek bahu bhi bahot sehti hai esliye hi ki uska pati usko sirf adjusting karneko bolte hai
@bhaskarmukherjee7518 Жыл бұрын
You are great person doing great work in society. But I feel you are lucky that your client took that advice positively. Are you sure they have implemented your suggestions?
@vidya958711 ай бұрын
Exactly bete nikkamme hote hai… they want everything to be done by their wives
@syedahasan5494 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing information. This was very useful. I think all parties should sit together and discuss their problems. Children if living with their parents should contribute financially towards food and bills, and should not abuse parents unless it has already been decided by parents that their children don't need to do it and instead they can save money for their house.
@trick54544 ай бұрын
Super video...ye nhi socha tha yt pr is topic pr bhi advice aur case study milegi....keep it up Sir ji
@vandanagrover1960 Жыл бұрын
A very big Salute to yu for trying to keep families together and making them understand each other's value.
@simplesaluja4871 Жыл бұрын
Aap dono side se bolte ho aur jo log hamare samne rote hai unpe bahut hasi aati hai kyuki hum bol nahi pate Or aap wohi bolte hai jo hum mann mein bolte hai
@rinakaur7245 Жыл бұрын
I completely understand young couples wanting their own place & privacy. Its a special time in a relationship you will never get back. Some parents understand & are accommodating while others don't & make life difficult for the young couple. Living in a toxic environment isn't good for anyone. I was in such a situation but when kids came along, my outlook changed (and so did my inlaws outlook towards me) & I suddenly wanted family around & have never appreciated inlaws as much as I do now. Just wish we a could have been like this from the very beginning.
@jasmineshah654910 ай бұрын
Really, sir, you nailed it and I am happy that this is something someone is talking about, if we do not understand that then there will be disaster in society.
@pankaj8745 Жыл бұрын
Parents alag rehne hi nahi dete same city m to bolte h samaaj society kya kahegi……iska solution do sir jo alag rehna chaate h aur paisa b spend krne ko ready h ….alag rehne ko bolte h to parents burra maante h…..wht to do sir how to convince them???
@chitravp Жыл бұрын
Bura maane to maane, you should do what is good for you. In 2-3 years they will come around slowly. Otherwise, have self-confidence that you have done what is right for you.
@vr3216 Жыл бұрын
Really true the guys are silently slyly lapping it up
@ShaanviKiDuniya Жыл бұрын
Ek ne kahi, doosre ne maani, dono gyani 😊
@GeminianExplorer Жыл бұрын
Waah , Kya baat boli hai Sir 😻👏🏼
@ashabora3932 Жыл бұрын
Very good. Please bring more case studies
@punarvasuiamback6578 Жыл бұрын
Sir you are awesome, outstanding, you are absolutely right sir, brilliant analysis… apka abhinandan 🥰🥰😂😂😂
@tanujaphad8800 Жыл бұрын
I agreed that there's always a flip side to every situation, sir what you have to say about victimized 'Bahu'... where she has to face her gaslighting psychopath 'Saas' ??? I also agreed with you where u said that 'bete bade chalakh ho jate hai, ki tum dono ka roj roj ka hai tu aapas mein nipta lo' ..... what is your opinion on ' pidit bahu'?
@saurabh13199117 ай бұрын
Pretty valid points in this video ! My wife and I stay with my parents and there are pros and cons of both staying with or separately. However, as a man, I do try to pick up household chores whenever I can. Be it cleaning the commode on the weekends or cooking dinner, washing utensils when maid isn't available or even moping and brooming. I cook my own breakfast 9/10 times. I think it is very important to contribute. It is hard because our mothers have been wrongly conditioned to keep doing things for us and they still don't want us to do anything which is wrong. I would confess that there are days when I too give in to the comfort and don't proactively fulfil responsibilities. But I keep challenging myself more often than not. In a nutshell, living a good quality life requires both physical and mental discipline.