I have received various calls from you and your friends, Carson. My roots quiver with fear when I hear the phone ring, but I shall never dare pick it up. I beg you, Carson, please stop with the spam calls.

0:04 no way they just ignored that 💀💀

The new comedy group has really grown on me. I genuinely laugh at your stuff. Thanks my guy, keep it going.

REST IN PEACE, ANIMATOR

Something I just realized about these videos that makes them so entertaining to watch is that they are basically Jackbox games with 0 limitations and allows Carson and his friends to express their awful(ly amazing) ideas in the best ways possible.

That opening joke was so smart

"Gimmy Grabby" had me uncontrollably squeezing my liver at 3:28am while hooked on an iv, thank you Carson for the comedy

I am noticing a burger pattern in this channel

4:22 - this whole joke was unironically really fucking funny.

Rest in Piece, Animator

10:19 HOLY SHIT WAIT I ACTUALLY OWN ONE OF THESE I can confirm that it dances, wiggles, and shakes just like the real thing 👍

Went through a really tough week, thanks for the laughs Carson :)

The freaking Enter Key one had me gasping for breath. Definitely the funniest one imo 11:57 Being preceded by the cloak and proceeded by the Hamburgler was the icing on the cake. The cloak one was pretty funny, and the "rascal" hit me just right to put me back into the gasping for breath state. Great video overall.

Gavin and JJ got the perfect balance between smart and psychotic

I can already tell Quacks and JJ are gonna carry this year

The opening gag is unreal.

Best of video this year is gonna go crazy especially with this video. I could feel the pain as well as desperation when Loki was mashing the phone buttons.

i now have the rick roll number saved in my contacts as rick astley. i will commit several surprises.

I love these new callmecartel videos 😃👍🏻

Gavin’s delivery of “what did you have me dial!?” is perfection

5:43 You know braille actually has question marks right? 13:28 Oh I have one of those! And yes I agree, I would purr as well

I love their ability to create inside jokes out of thin air

that single opening "huh?" already destroyed me

for those who dont know, Qin Shi Huang was the king that unified all China

i can't believe catboy Gavin destroyed your mind in the way it did

I can't believe how much better Carson has gotten at solitaire since episode 26 of the solitairey confinement podcast, crazy stuff!

Speaking of weird breathing phone numbers: I remember when I was like 9 and lost my newly gifted boomerang on a two story roof. Ran back home, tears sliding across the cheeks, parents weren't home. Grabbed house phone and through my childish nativity, started mashing random numbers. Me: Hello? My boomerang is stuck on the roof, please hel- Receiver: **Starts fricking hooing like an owl🦉** I immediately hang up. Week later, my boomerang, which had been on a sloped roof, visible from like 20 yards, is gone. *Mfw owl took my frickin boomerang.*

It hurts my soul knowing this man lost viewership and his friends left him, all for what? This video would have 5m+ views back in the day. Some bullshit.

I really love this video. Would love to see more of this.

The tree at 9:55 reminds me of the old guy who are paint and thought it was yogurt. I’ve been laughing about that for a good 5 minutes.

Outta the blue I wondered how carsons doing after the thing and it's good to see you back man

Really liking the new video format!

I fucking love Gavin, he has the balance amount of chaotic and chaotic. I would give him 2 thumb up if I could.

please make more of these, it was pretty hillarious

Actual dying of laughter. This is peak callmesarson content.

i dont know who is snorring when laughing but it's hilarious and I love that man

This guy should be a youtuber

Thanks for always being the best content creator that just keeps pushing !

We need more of these phone numbers stuff lol

This was genuinely so funny

That rickroll number has my area code. there is a very real chance I have walked past the dude that set up the number.

you cant just come into my life, make me feel special and then burger king

The terracotta joke was genius

i just came from a video stating what happend with you previously. I'm happy your well and happy. i really hope to see you make it even further

I like how all of this dudes friends left him because of a two year age difference in which both parties had gone through puberty and consented.

I should not be laughing at john nothumbs lmao

Phone Guy - "Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay? Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced." Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay. So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh... Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know? Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll pr- they'll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh. Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night." Night 2: Phone Guy - "Uhh, Hello? Hello? Uh, well, if you're hearing this and you made it to day two, uh, congrats! I-I won't talk quite as long this time since Freddy and his friends tend to become more active as the week progresses. Uhh, it might be a good idea to peek at those cameras while I talk just to make sure everyone's in their proper place. You know... Uh... Interestingly enough, Freddy himself doesn't come off stage very often. I heard he becomes a lot more active in the dark though, so, hey, I guess that's one more reason not to run out of power, right? I-I also want to emphasize the importance of using your door lights. There are blind spots in your camera views, and those blind spots happen to be right outside of your doors. So if-if you can’t find something, or someone, on your cameras, be sure to check the door lights. Uh, you might only have a few seconds to react... Uh, not that you would be in any danger, of course. I'm not implying that. Also, check on the curtain in Pirate Cove from time to time. The character in there seems unique in that he becomes more active if the cameras remain off for long periods of time. I guess he doesn't like being watched. I don't know. Anyway, I'm sure you have everything under control! Uh, talk to you soon." Night 3: Phone Guy - "Hello, hello? Hey you're doing great! Most people don’t last this long. I mean, you know, they usually move on to other things by now. I'm not implying that they died. Th-th-that’s not what I meant. Uh, anyway I better not take up too much of your time. Things start getting real tonight. Uh... Hey, listen, I had an idea: if you happen to get caught and want to avoid getting stuffed into a Freddy suit, uhh, try playing dead! You know, go limp. Then there's a chance that, uh, maybe they’ll think that you're an empty costume instead. Then again if they think you're an empty costume, they might try to... stuff a metal skeleton into you. I wonder how that would work. Yeah, never mind, scratch that. It's best just not to get caught. Um... Ok, I'll leave you to it. See you on the flip side!" Night 4: Phone Guy - Hello, hello? Hey! Hey, wow, day 4. I knew you could do it. Uh, hey, listen, I may not be around to send you a message tomorrow. *banging* It's-It's been a bad night here for me. Um, I-I'm kinda glad that I recorded my messages for you *clears throat* uh, when I did. Uh, hey, do me a favor. *banging* Maybe sometime, uh, you could check inside those suits in the back room? *banging* I'm gonna to try to hold out until someone checks. Maybe it won’t be so bad. *bang bang* Uh, I-I-I-I always wondered what was in all those empty heads back there. *chime plays*. You know...*deep moan* oh, no - *noises followed by a loud screech and static* Night 5: Note: The phone call from Night Five is not actually spoken by Phone Guy. It's more likely one of the animatronics in a deep, garbled, demonic-sounding voice. When the audio clip is played backwards and some post-processing applied, it is rendered into a difficult to understand, and hard to translate, garble. While numerous possible fan translations exist, a more recent speculation is that the call is in fact an excerpt from the book Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramhansa Yogananda. It has not been confirmed, however, and is simply speculated because of the frequent matches in hand-translated phrases that most translators of the call have found. The complete passage speculated to be in the call is as follows: (Omitted: Sir,) it is lamentable that mass agricultural development is (omitted: not) speeded by fuller use of your marvelous mechanisms. Would it not be easily possible to employ some of them in quick laboratory experiments to indicate the influence of various types of fertilizers on plant growth? You are right. Countless uses (omitted: of Bose instruments) will be made by future gener- (omitted: ations. The scientist) seldom knows contemporaneous (omitted: reward; it is enough to possess) the joy of creative (omitted: service.)

when i want to commit sewer slide i just go back to these to laugh, then go down the awesome slide laughing

ok, the history joke on the beginning was actually pretty funny 😂

what does she mean, i ate the burger phone and im completely fine with it, there was even red sauce and... and i.... i dont feel so good uh....

Truly a horrific experience when the review was by Gart which has been my nickname for years and on the blue takis as well where one of me and my friends bits is every time we see them yell out "why is it blue"

God I missed me some Carson videos. I'm glad you're back, happy and healthy. My man right there. :D

I love this channel so much.

I like how most these product already have fake reviews

Good video hilarius as always Carson!

Gavin is making me question things about myself...

Qin Shi Huang also consumed mercury for his "health"

The elephant toothpaste one was dope af XD

This made me laugh so hard i felt like i did a core workout

Watching these videos in class is a hell of a challenge

that was a rather nifty video carson

They totally gotta do "making name soundalikes"

Im actually quite surprised at how the gang can actually create like kinda spooky concepts

I sure do love Callmecapone and Callmecartel

Bro just drops banger every Saturday

carson is one of two youtubers i find absolutely hilarious, the other is swaggersouls, but both rarely upload. so sad youtube just turned into cringy minecraft videos but its nice to see some real funny content every once in a while

thanks for the good video callmecarton

Always love when Carson uploaded and also the blob fish 💀

That Wacky Inflatable Tube Guy is legit one of the first things I bought after getting a job. He's great

excited for new callmecar video

REST IN PEACE, ANIMATOR REST IN PEACE, ANIMATOR

REST IN PEACE ANIMATOR

time to call the tree!

Rest in peace, animator

What a way to start

I love the Medusa review lmfaoo

My roots ache for you

This is one of those you can tell is gonna be a banger in the first 10 seconds

Great vid carson

0:15 absolute gold

The hamburger cheeseburger burger phone really is one of the inventions of all time.

"The Venezuelan 911" VENEZUELA MENTIONED CHAMO LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO I never felt so proud about my country

"The venezuelan 911" dude it's literally the same thing here LMAOO

I love the purring

Called the tree, the tree is not ok.

callmecarson vids are the best to smoke too 🍃

No way SolidJJ is there I love that guy

If you call the never gonna give you up phone number and wait to the very end of the song when it fades out you can just hear faint breathing and then it hangs up

still the most funniest shit on the planet.

7:55 at this point in the video i got an ad that started with a woman on hold with a call center and it threw me off

i seriously actually have the wacky waving inflatable tube guy in my room, its pretty okay

i love how at 7:25 if you read it, it says "reviewed on Novenber *2th,* 2009

That Chinese pronunciation at the start of the video was really quite good! (at least from my perspective after 3 years of study)

I was in a bad mood until I watched this thank you

oh god, what did they do this time.

I think the tree has Carson kidnapped which could explain his 2 week video absence

Man, ive missed this

4:43 WHAT THE FUCK THAT NUMBER IS THE SAME AREA CODE AS ME

Nice video carson!❤

The first call says the number can’t be completed as dialed