Released on all platforms now: ffm.to/thereislight Or search for "mathbonus - there is light in us"

Don’t you hate it, when you can’t even remember what the problem was? That in itself makes me even more depressed

i just feel so alone. i can be in a room with 40 ppl and still feel isolated i never felt this way before

You know whats the worst? Being constantly surrounded by people, yet still feeling that loneliness; Like everyone knows you, but nobody really understands you ,you know? :/

I just lost my dad on 2022-07-25. No one wants to loose their dad on the age of 22. I am devastated. This song calms my body and my mind.

now i can imagine sitting on a rooftop under the stars with the person i'm in love with, holding hands, listening to each other's breathing. thank you

I lost my parents within a year of each other when I was 15 and I don't have any other family. I don't connect well with people and I'm not a very interesting person. I love music like this because it sounds like how I feel on the inside. Just kind of soft, empty, echoey. The whispered "I can fix that" is so dark yet comforting to me. Edit 6 months after original posting: Hi everyone, I'm super appreciative of all your beautiful messages. I would just like to point out I'm not in any danger of self harming. I'm 25 now, I have a great career, I'm happy and have coped with these losses. Thanks so much for all of your concern, makes me believe there are still kind people in the world.

“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” - Robin Williams

The worst part about living in the place you grew up at is it’s very hard to just forget the past, especially when everywhere you go is a place where you made memories with someone you care about but those people dont care about you anymore. Nothing hurts worse than looking at a field by a school and seeing memories like ghost in the field…. Aight imma head out

This reminds me how much I hate getting close to people because it’s so euphoric at first and then it’s temporary. Like everything that once gave you light disappears eventually.

it makes me happy but sad that theres so many ppl in the comments that feel the same way as me.

I lost my mom around 3-4 months ago at the age of 16. We fought constantly because she was severely and untreatably mentally ill. This lead to her ending her life, and I had to hold her hand while she went. I hadn't come to peace with how I felt with her and I don't feel like I ever got to apologize properly. Now, I lay here in bed and cry to this song, thinking about how I will never get to see my mom again and she will not get to see me grow up. I wish that I got the time to make things right, to apologize. I wish I didn't fight with her all the time and that we could've been happier. This music helps me bring shape to my emotions and for that I truly thank you. To everyone who reads this, make sure that you're happy with how you end every encounter with a person, because you never know if that's going to be the last time you ever see them. I love you all and thank you for reading my pain.

I remember when insomnia used to get the best of me and i lived in a nice neighborhood at the time so I’d go on 3-4 AM walks listening to music looking at the lights, the ghostly streets. It was nice.

It’s interesting to see everyone’s different moods while listening to this, it’s also interesting to see how many of us young ppl are so depressed and tired but hide it everyday

"I feel close with people in moments, but it disappears when I return home."

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

There is so much emotion in this. "You look lonely" This sounds almost like a normal conversation, but there's also sympathy. "I can fix that" There's much love and in this, it sounds emotional. Trying to give someone who lost all hope, hope, a reason. The music Sounds chill, relaxing, a bit eerie even, but not scary. And although it is a pattern in repeat, i don't find it boring. Instead it helps me focus on ... nothing.

i can’t keep venting out to people who don’t even know me. but i hate venting to people who do.

2 :48 AM, empty streets, orange... warm neon lights all around you, maybe some purple, you’re there, feeling lonely while knowing you caused that loneliness, numbness... peace? it’s raining, not too much, you feel comfortable, you lay down, there’s no fear, there’s no freedom either. feelings, too many of them, you’re confusing them with no feelings at all right? but the tear falling down your cheek doesn’t lie, tears never lie, the pressure on your chest finally releases, letting you get a storm out out of your eyes, go ahead, cry, trust me, no one will judge you, you’re not weak... thank you, for staying here a little more, keep crying, cry until your eyes hurt or until there are no tears left, letting out a part of that ocean inside of you can ease the waves you know?

If anyone of you read this right now, just know I’m sending only good things your way. Keep your head up, you got this. Much love to you all❤️

Why does it hurt whenever I see people being in a relationship? I hear so many fun stories from my friends, talking about their partners and their silly little quirks. The days they spend together, how happy they all look when talking about their lives. I know I should be happy for them, but I can’t help but feel jealous. Living in a household where a loved one is slowly losing her memory; only to be yelled at by my father. Most I can do is lie in my bed and just wish that I could just leave. But I can’t. I want to feel happy again; I want to feel that love that my friends feel about their partners. I want to be free. But I just feel so alone, stuck pretending that everything is okay when I just want to cry.

You're welcome.

I'm completely spiralling out of control while listening to this. I've been completely bawling my eyes out for an hour.

I listen to this while I do my shopping, travel to work, doing my studies, while I'm taking care of my skin in the bathroom & even while I sleep. This song, snowfall & after dark have seemed to become the background soundtrack to my life. Shows you how many people I interact with really, doesn't it. Gotta keep going, can't give up.

It's 4am and i'm laying in bed trying to fall back asleep. This is calming me down and reading the comments is making me realize i'm not the only person in the world who feels lonely all the time. Glad i found this.

To the person who read this, It’s been hard for you, I know, and it makes me sad that you don’t see yourself in the way I see you. Sometimes they are things in life that cause us to loose ourselves, and the way you have is so unimaginable painful. I miss your smile, the way your eyes light up the whole room just by the sound of your laughter. I miss the way you accepted the way you look in the mirror without cursing yourself out about how ugly you look. I miss the way you didn’t think of yourself as a failure because everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws and we all aren’t perfect. It’s painful to see that no one around you seems to see the pain trough your eyes, but, stranger, I do, I see how heavy your heart is and how comforting the sadness for you might be, how afraid your heart is of happiness because it disappears in the end, right? You don’t know how much impact you have in this world and it’s sad to see that your demons fight against you and want to take over you. Because you do make change, it’s something so simple and little that brightens up someone’s whole world, it can be a small smile from your lips, the way you look at things you’re passionate about, the way you make yourself eat even though it’s been hard for you lately, the way you zoom out and go in your own world, you brighten up my world by reading this, it means a lot to me that you’re here, existing, but I don’t want you to just exist, you deserve to feel alive. You deserve to get up in the morning and feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel something- to feel every damn second alive in this lifetime. It’s heartbreaking that you think you’re not capable of being loved, because you are, I love you trough all my words and I hope you let it happen in your heart. Love is scary, I know, maybe you heart had been broken once and since then you wanted to be rather numb than feel ever again, it hurts me how you punish yourself, does it not deserve love? Because YOU DO deserve love, please forgive yourself, it’s not your fault that the demons want to take over your beautiful heart. You’re not a bad person for distancing yourself from others, but you deserve someone to talk to, you deserve someone to listen. I am listening, you can tell me what’s wrong. It’s everything, isn’t it? There’s something pulling your heartstrings on the ground and no one seems to understand how misunderstood you feel, it’s heartbreaking to know that I am behind the screen and can’t give you a hug, that’s why I will give you a big warm virtual hug and send you lots of love :). You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve good things. You deserve someone to listen. You deserve to eat and drink. You deserve to feel good and alive. You deserve to smile. You deserve a hug. You deserve to be all the things you want to be, because you deserve to have and feel good things happening to you and have a fulfilled life. I know I might not know you personally but I care about you so much, I write this because I want you to stay here with me, I want you to hold on a little longer because you matter so much to me, because I will not let you give up on yourself. I want you to see that you should not give up on yourself because you DESERVE GOOD THINGS. I want you to look back on the time when you were a kid, you didn’t give up when you tried to swim for the first time, you didn’t give up when you tired to walk for the first time and fell, you never gave up on yourself, you always kept on pushing forwards, so why can’t you now? I know it’s tiring, your mentally tired, but dont your younger self deserve good things? look back at your eyes that used to be full of hope, look back on those dreams. Don’t let yourself fall, you deserve better. We will both fight, I will fight for you. I won’t let those demons get to you. You can hold on to me, I won’t let you down :). Whenever you feel lonely, then look at the sky, I always look at it and think about you. Yes, you, because it makes me happy that there’s someone looking right back, maybe we can’t see each other but I can feel your presence here with me and that’s enough for me, because I am glad your heart is beating and you’re still fighting. You’re so much stronger thank you think, you didn’t leave your spot on this earth even if you wanted to, you belong here, even though it doesn’t feel like it, when you don’t feel like belonging than build your own home here, put all your love in it and dreams. Think of you as a star when you feel alone, you shine because your heart is good, no matter what mistake you made, no matter about the past you had, you’re one of the stars that shine bright in the universe because you’re heart is beautiful, that’s why the demons in your mind wants to have it. As one of the stars you see others stars, maybe they have felt the same way as you do at some point in there life, but they lighten up the universe with each other’s presence. You’re a star for me, maybe you don’t see it yourself but I can see it, you’re beautiful from inside and out, your body is beautiful the way it is. You make me happy by reading this, you make me feel something by your presence and when you can make me feel that way than you also make other people feel that way about you too. I hope you stay for yourself and don’t let your story get written by others but by yourself, it’s your story not theirs. As you can see, I say a lot of “I hope” because I have hope for you even if you don’t have it for yourself, I see hope in you even though you might want to give up. That’s why I hope you won’t see the world in darkness and will see it colorful again, I hope I will give you a glimpse of hope and make the world you see a bit colorful for today. My favorite color is yellow, and I hope the next time you see the color yellow you will think about my words. If someone left you than don’t blame yourself, don’t think you weren’t enough, don’t lower yourself for someone who couldn’t see the awesomeness in you. If you lost someone I am so sorry for your loss, they want you happy, I hope you don’t feel guilty or regret because you were there, you spend enough time with them, they want you to be happy. They are in a good and safe place now. If someone broke your heart than I am so sorry that they couldn’t see the way you look so beautiful because of the heart you have. Anyone who gets to be with you, doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they is :). If you aren’t accepted at home or in general than I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone/ something you shouldn’t be ashamed of, I accept you and support you, I accept you as a human being no matter what race, religion, nationality, skin color, or sexuality you have. You’re safe here with me :). You’re not useless, you’re not a burden to anyone. You’re not a problem, you’re human and your feelings are valid. You’re not being dramatic. Please don’t starve yourself, you deserve food and to drink, I know it’s hard. It hurts to see that you’re in so much pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I am sorry no one is noticing, I wish /hope I could take your pain away for today or even for a moment while you’re reading this. If no one told you, I am so proud of you, you’re reading this and it’s enough for me to be proud of you because you’re here and that’s all that matters to me. If it’s night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s day for you, don’t start it by such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water everyday in the morning and so on.. You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed. And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re so strong for breathing despite the pain, I know you will make it :) I believe in you. All I want for you is to stay here, I really mean all my words, even if there is a lot of unsaid things I want to tell u and my text is getting longer and longer,I want you here. I hope one day your smile will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore, because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every fucking cent in this world. You can let go for today, I got you, you can cry your heart out as much as you want, but don’t let it tear you down and let your emotions control you by giving up. Crying is not weakness. If you still feel alone I dedicate you a song as your friend. “Dusk till Dawn- Zayn feat. Sia (I prefer the slow version)” I hope you can think of me and will remind yourself of my words, I will for sure think of you. In case no one told you and you’re unsure yourself, you’re a good person and I am so happy you’re here. I hope this is enough to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. Enough with beating yourself up for today, okay? Life for those who couldn’t, smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug like its your last one. If you read all of it, until tomorrow my friend :) have a good day and great years. I love you so much and am so proud of you, I hope you will remember my words- becho, the stranger that cares more about you than anything :)

to every single person here, you are loved, i got out of my dark spot recently, it gets better, just keep pushing, love you all

I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope with depression waiting at the bottom. Being okay really is a balancing act.

This gives off heavy “somewhere I’d rather be” vibes

If you're listening to this, my heart goes out to you.

I listened to this song on repeat when my depression started, and now this song has an odd comfort to it. It makes me incredibly sad, but it also makes me so happy and weirdly nostalgic

Every time I listen to this track I can’t stop reading the comments.. I can’t understand how ppl here are so close.. We’re strangers but we’re friends,family and partners here .. We’ve got our familia here .. World isn’t good enough but we’re.

don't you just wanna go back to the past sometimes, when we were younger? where things were easier and better?

There's something about this that brings me comfort

Love is always the answer no matter how much this world beats you down, love triumphs it all. Keep fighting against the invisible barriers they put and just love each other. If everyone dropped the ego and focused on loving on another like real humans we’d be thriving as one. Love is the answer

I see a lot of comments of people in despair. I am not here for that reason. I send my friend these one once in a while to fall asleep to and it brings me great comfort. Today we didn't talk much and we both have to wake up fairly early and we can't spend the night away conversing as we often do. So I see this sort of as a way to communicate with eachother even while we sleep. My friend is everything to me.

You can have friends but if you dont have the right person in your life, you will always feel lonely.

this song makes me feel like I’m drowning in my own life

I hope we all find happiness within ourselves

Never forget to love yourself first. This life is yours, nobody else’s. Focus on your mental and physical health please, some never realize how important this is till it’s too late. I wish I could hug who ever’s down and reading through these comments. I want to let you know everything’s gonna be okay.. I need healing sometimes too, but I love healing others so much it makes me feel so warm inside. Take care of yourself man..

Can we all meet some day? All the lonely people at one place with a beautiful taste in music, what a day it would be when we would rejoice together, when we would find each other.

Not sad or depressed.Just that this type of music gives me a sense of vivd imagination that i had when i was just a kid. Wishing you all the best

It’s gut wrenching when you have the time now to reflect on what had changed you to become the person you hated the most

“It’s not being alone, It’s the people who make you feel alone” - A legend

It's crazy how much music effects the human body in ways that most things in life wouldn't, genuinely blows my mind

Do you ever feel so lonely that you wanna open up to someone but no ones there to listen to you or interested, and you can't do anything, you feel like slowly freezing and think that you just have to hide your emotions since no one cares. Honestly, i just need a single hug, it would help me so much:(

One of the struggles of life in the internet age, we are more connected than ever before yet we feel even more isolated and alone. Anyone reading this, keep your head up, youre here for a reason, and you got this 👍

This song perfectly describes that feeling of loneliness that you feel, despite being in a crowded room. When the visual and audible stimulants take away the one thing that kept you company: your own thoughts.

Even though she isn’t talking to me directly, I enjoy listening to the beginning over and over again. “You look lonely.. I can fix that”. That Is what I’ve always wanted to hear someone say to me. Until then, I’ll let this song play while I drift away to sleep.

Whoever made this I love you forever🥺

To anybody who's reading this, I pray that whatever is hurting you or whatever you are constantly stressing about gets better. May the dark thoughts, the overthinking, and the doubt exit your mind. May clarity replace confusion. May peace and calmness fill your life. 🙏

My depression journey isn’t even over after many, many, years. Though from someone who’s dealt and still sometimes deals with, Self harm, self hate, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and actions. I can tell you that it does get better. Remember when having an depressive episode, it feels like everything caves into itself and feels like the world is ending. But remember that those episodes do not last forever. And that you can take a breath and breathe. Because you are here and alive and I’m so proud of you for that

Every time I listen to this song I just imagine myself alone, sitting on top of a construction crane in the middle of the night, feet dangling in the empty air below me. Listening to the cars in the distances and watching the city at night as time passes.

i can feel myself losing. losing the trust and hope of others and i hate it

This track...... it invokes these feelings and deep memories that ive long forgotten. Actions, places, sounds and smells that have been buried deep in my mind. The nostalgia is intoxicating to the point where it feels as if the past is manifesting in my mind, its wonderful really.

Sometimes I try to look back on the days in which I was happy. But it just makes me more sad, I think that being sad isn’t a bad thing. In fact I think it’s the best thing to be sad because then you know that you understand and appreciate happiness more than people who are happy.

i'm not exactly sad when i listen to this. it's more of a "yearning to do something" feeling. i imagined walking on the sidewalk of a city i've never truly experienced. wandering around the hospital building or driving to see the skyline, the radio towers bunched up somewhere near. and yet, i'm still here. in the middle of nowhere, sitting in front of a computer and looking at images from the internet.

you know it’s starting to get bad when you just have the feeling to cry out of nowhere.

"My sense of loneliness, I feel as though I don't belong here. I am still here, I can't leave here, yet I feel I shouldn't be here."

My Dad just died. This is helping me distract myself and not accept the reality that he is gone. Thank you, please keep sharing.

How is this so depressing and relaxing at the same time?

Life can change in a blink of an eye. One moment your friends then your partners, then your strangers all over again... You can do so much for one person, save their life from several suicide attempts try to help them get over addictions you name it, You throw away your self in attempts to make someone else whole and in the end you get thrown away like you never existed in the first place. Its a strange feeling knowing at any moment that person can leave this earth and you can't do anything about it but sit by and pray for the best. You give them your all, and you leave yourself feeling empty and void of everything. Now you sit here alone, staring into the darkness of your own room left with nothing but your thoughts and memories of the good times and you fall apart all over again.

These kinds of videos make me happy. Although most come here for a sad reason. I find happiness through the fact that no matter what age, race, or situations you’re in we all feel sad sometimes. So yes. Im sad but I’m happy that I’m not the only one who is sad. Thank you for this video.

It's really strange how you can miss a person that you loved so much and in one day it's all gone, when you thought that you will be forever together. And after 2 years you're lying in your bed, listening to this music and and thinking about her the whole night. Imagining how your life would be if she was still around. How happy we both could be... And then you wake up to the sad reality, wanting to go back in that fantasy world. Waiting till the night is gonna hit again so you could listen to this kinda of music and thinking about her again...

The voice of the woman is from the Bladerunner 2049 movie. Recommended for all those who feel lonely... to feel more lonely

I miss the days when I wasn’t just sad all the time like something is missing. The moment my high-school ended I closed myself off completely, and I am just there, existing without any purpose or direction. I have millions of responsibilities, but I have never felt more empty, like I can’t even cry, i am just completely empty..I barely sleep even when I do i dream some bs..i honestly miss being alive and well..

When I'm alone feeling depressed and surrounded by darkness. I close my eyes and wonder...where did everyone go. Where are they right now in this life which we aren't in. How did we end up where we are in life and so alone without all of them.

I miss my homies, every since Covid hit and since we all graduated we all been busy working or doing college, I hardly see them anymore and I just feel like we are losing connection with each other and that shit breaks me, I feel alone and it sucks.

I lost someone very special to me a month ago ever since she has been gone i have felt lonely especialy during night time when i go to bed and she is not laying next to me. I miss her so much every day 💔. RIP my love.

Feels hard to know when you go off to college and get a job, a wife, a car, your school freinds will never be heard from again If your sad to know you will never see your freinds again in a few years, your not alone.

If you are reading this right now and having a rough time, I am thinking about you. Keep holding on, please! You are worthy of amazing things. Don't let yourself or others hold you back from living life with joy.

it takes videos like these to realize that you’re not the only one that feels this way. thinking that you’re one step ahead, thinking that life around you just gets better and worst at the same time, overthinking every possibility, every outcome, every way you can imagine to avoid your past mistakes, but still try to live in the past because back then things probably weren’t as complicated as they are now. All these comments i read it just goes to show that this world is so big that many times people like us don’t get much recognition, hence why we feel alone, but that’s only part of the reason, until we see a movie, hear music, or listen to a speech to get us back on track. Truly it’s nice to know we’re not really alone in this train, i like to think of it as we’re born to be in between life, knowing right and wrong, but even so, we decide to stay in between, we’ve probably hurt people unintentionally in the past, so we learn to be careful with what we say and do. People that got too cozy with us but in the end we got backstabbed and took our feelings and just crushed them has taught us to be careful with who we’re with, and what we share to them. It’s good to meet others, establish relationships, have friends, share with families, be polite, and actually care, but there’ll always be something or someone that will take what’s good from us. I’m sure you all know by now that this world isn’t fair, and that it probably won’t change, and won’t go back to the way it used to be, all we can do is move forward, keep our thoughts to ourselves, or share them with a true friend, and just be in between life, everyone is unique in their own way, and as humans we’re all the same, but for us…i think we’re just special. Thank you for reading through all of this, and your time, and don’t forget your not really alone, don’t see death as a solution, it’s just another problem really, stay strong, we’ll get through this, stay safe out there.

This song gives me the vibes of the process of finding yourself when you are lost

my dad died in 2018 when i was 10 and since then life has felt pointless, he was my everything. Recently i feel like i cant remember his face of how his voice sounded and our memories together are starting to fade, i would give anything in the world to have him back. People say it gets easier but i feel like its getting worse. I miss him so much. This song makes me feel calm and i can remember our time togther easier.

I used to go through the comment sections of videos and think that most people who post might be seeking attention. A lot of it would be real personal stuff that you’d think someone would be more comfortable sharing with a loved one, friend. It wasn’t until I told someone who I thought I could confide in that I was thinking about self deletion and their response was “well everyone feels like that you’ll be ok” is when I realized why someone would feel more comfortable sharing with strangers. Strangers can’t let you down like a loved one can.

Don't promise me something too good to be true, at the very least you could just sit next to me while we look up at the stars, dreadfully knowing that neither you or me will make it up there but its still something that exists, somewhere id rather be, than here.

I feel... empty. What's wrong with me? I don't recognize myself anymore.. I used to be different. Hell I don't even remember how I was before.. everything. Gray. That's all I see around me. There's no light, no colors, no life. Where am I? How am I? Who am I? Is this truly who i am? Or is this just a consequence of my past? People keep asking us: "how are you?" This daily question has become so common that people don't give it much thought, even though they really don't care how you're doing, they're just waiting for you to ask them so they can brag about their egoistic selves. So when they do ask you, what do you answer? I'm in the middle of the society. I look around. It's too fast.. I can't keep up. Then I look up, at the night sky. The only place where it seems like time stops completely. I'm stuck. I don't want to go back down. I want to be lost. Lost in the mysteriously beautiful black infinite. Alone...

i love how i can come here. and feel surrounded by so many who feel like me. the comment section is a safe space for all of us to express ourselves and attempt to heal ourselves and help others. thank you guys

I thought I was depressed until I read these comments. I know you guys will heal just give it time. Love you all! 💜

Life consists of two things, pain and memories. The pain is what lingers and the happiness is what fades into memories. this song does a good job bringing both into the picture.

This background. . . The thick fog and a winters walk to school at 4-5 AM in the morning gives me nostalgia.

thank you for this song man this is so calming to listen to.

Am Loving 💖 Every Single Sounds Of This Track!

Last night, i was almost blackout drunk alone sittin in a bench on a empty park, this song begin to play as i took the last sip of beer and for a moment i felt truly at peace

I can feel my world turn upside down :(

This gives me a kind of nostalgic thoughts of being linked in a certain way to people and moments in the past, always referring to that past in what is defined as happiness.

Things can seem bad. But they never stay bad. Be on the watch for ways out of this fog. Trust.

I recently started realizing the feeling of loneliness I've been living since my childhood İt hits hard makes me even more insecure about myself makes me hopeless And tryin to socialize with people doesn't help especially people my age can be rude and cruel or neglectful People might not see/ understand what others go through and that's fine because no one really knows what's going on others minds Some people feel the same things and that makes them bond But I'm starting to lose my hope of finding that person or friend group in my life

The mix from the music and the comments it's what makes us have hope

Been alone for so long it doesn’t bother me anymore.

*Listening to sad, sentimental music is like embarking on a journey through the depths of the human psyche, where every note unveils a new layer of introspection and self-discovery*

This piece gives me a really odd feeling especially during the summer, when it's not too hot but just warm and I lie down on the floor by an open, sunny window. The feeling of the cool air mingling with warm skin is just... ethereal. And then the sky looks like dark cherry juice at the bottom of a cup that hasn't mixed in with the orange juice above. It's strange. It makes me feel like the world is going to end but I'll still be here afterwards.

I feel myself slowing drifting farther from reality. I’m creating this world that will never ever be true. A world where I’m actually happy, where someone loves me, where I love me. Ha to think that. No it could never happen. I hate myself so much. I hate people so much to the point where I really don’t give a fuck about hurting them. I’m a failure in school, in relationships, and In my own eyes. Looking in the mirror hurts. Having someone call me beautiful feels like a Stab in the heart. Because I know it’s not true. Just please stop. Get out of my life. You don’t love me! No! YOU NEVER CARED. IM NOT A GOOD PERSON AND NOT BEAUTIFUL AND IM NOT WORTH IT. STOP LYING TO ME! Just please. Leave me. I can’t believe I ever thought I was worth it. I hate myself to the point where I take other people’s personality’s and make it mine. I’m slowing drifting away. Always from the truth. The truth... THE TRUTH IS..? THE TRUTH IS THAT I HATE MYSELF. OKAY? I CANT STAND LOOKING IN THE MIRROR I CANT WATCH A VIDEO WITHOUT TRYING TO ACT THE SAME WAY AS THAT PERSON BECAUSE ID RATHER BE ANYONE ELSE. I AM A LIAR I LIE TO MY FRIENDS MY PARENTS AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART IS? I. DONT. CARE. I DONT CARE IF I HURT YOU YOU PROBABLY DESERVE IT ANYWAY. IM A FUCKING MONSTER. SO DONT TELL ME YOU LOVE ME. DONT. Just leave. Get out of my life. I’m done. I’m done trying

Having "best friends" that you always look out for but they never message you to hang out or knowing if you're ok.

We all need to find something that makes us happy and look forward to the next day, that could be a person or a passion for something. I’m guessing most of you are reading this at night and are feeling lost. At the end of the day we are alone with ourselves and need to learn self care and look forward to what the future holds, I feel somewhat scared for tomorrow and feel like I’ll lose myself if I don’t feel lonely throughout my life, I think it’s supposed to remind us to find a special somebody and not always be alone even if that’s what we all prefer, it’s okay to take a breather but we should all keep pushing forward.

has anyone else ever felt like the future just isn't what its made out to be?

Stay steady sailors, and ride the waves of life, for if you chose to go against her, she'll drag you to her depths.

This playlist describes exactly how I fell about day to day life. I was in a long distance relationship full of lies and manipulation for over a year. Even though she was genuinely a mentally unstable person, she lied over and over and she knew it, all because of her abusive surroundings, it was kind of a never ending cycle with her. Things would be good one minute and then I would get ghosted the next and that left me hurt, and feeling alone all wjile still "being" with her...and that is one of the most heart wrenching feelings imaginable. No matter how our relationship turned out I will never forgot how she helped me grow as a person. Not too long ago we talked, reminisced, and relived some of those moments. She moved in with her mom and is out of the absusive household with her father. and as hard as it was not to fall back into that lovey depressive state hearing her voice, im still here today, pushing on, in a happy relationship of 1 year and 6 months doing better than I ever could be. However I will never forgot into the type of person it shaped me into being. Sometime I miss being addicted to sadness, there is a certain level of comfort that it brings oddly enough. But Sidni, if youre out there, I want you to know that I forgive you and I hope you are doing well, wherever you end up.

Blade Runner 2049 was such a great movie

Hi sorry for Interrupting your scrolling to anyone who has suicidal thoughts this year, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking around. I know things have been hard. They may be still hard. But I'm so proud of you and I'm so glad you're still here🥺❤