You’re Doing A Better Job Than You Think

Рет қаралды 18,742

Күн бұрын

Your life isn't failing; it's just stretched thin.
This is not a cliche, empty reassurance, or toxic positivity: you're probably doing better than you give yourself credit for.
Think of yourself as a distribution manager with limited resources. You're juggling work, relationships, health, and home - all demanding more than you can give.
More than likely, you're using an incorrect metric to measure how well you're doing. I'm going to explain how to measure your success more accurately and feel good about your efforts.
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Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.
But I do care.
00:00 Introducing the Measurement Problem
02:16 Unpacking the Resource Distribution Metaphor
05:33 The Competing Demands of Modern Life
09:06 Personal Reflections on Balancing Responsibilities
13:21 Redefining Success: From Perfection to Resilience

Пікірлер: 231

@samwarner2668 2 күн бұрын

Avoiding catastrophic failure is about the level I’m functioning at

@yoquieroemily 2 күн бұрын

feel this

@ladyjatheist2763 Күн бұрын

Hey, me too! :D Glad to know I'm not alone!

@monacaensam9465 2 күн бұрын

I’m doing a fabulous job managing my mental health- haven’t killed myself yet.

@phnsinrspt 2 күн бұрын

you're doing well enough. thank you for staying here.

@OG_lesliedixon 2 күн бұрын

@@monacaensam9465 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

@monacaensam9465 2 күн бұрын

@@phnsinrspt really not doing well at all.. I’m just too much of a useless coward to do it- for now.

@phnsinrspt 2 күн бұрын

@@monacaensam9465 i'm truly sorry to hear that. even if it's not well right now, you're doing enough just managing. you're enough. you're not a coward, and definitely not useless. the fact that you're in this community already shows you're improving. please, stay. it often gets worse before it gets better. ask for help if you can. i believe in you, sincerely, and wish you the best.

@joanneverreau2546 2 күн бұрын

You’re not a useless coward at all, you’re a human being that’s going through a very difficult time. You’re here watching this amazing Doctor, who is helping us all. Please just hang in there, keep watching all the videos you can to help you through this. We can help each other through this. Your life matters💕🙏🏻🩷

@marigoldangel 2 күн бұрын

I 100% get this, your metaphor is good. I graduated with a massive debt and decided to focus on getting out of it. Nearly 10 years later, I am out of debt- but I have no friends, I have no spouse, I live in a small apartment, and I don't currently have a job. I now wake up in the night, panicking that I am running out of time for all I dreamed of in life. I will think about what you said to keep me going. The biggest issue is time and the fear of regret

@JayLangly 2 күн бұрын

I'm almost in a similar situation. Worked through college full time (almost full time through High school) graduated and now only have 2k debt. Only have 2 best friends - but don't hang out with them enough and they live far away. I am the only brother out of 3 helping our elderly mom. No help from them at all for YEARS. I do have a full time job but it's boring. I do wonder what it would be like to live my own life FOR ONCE. So yes at 56 -- I don't feel like I'm making any progress.

@Patsysmiled 2 күн бұрын

🌸

@andrewjaramillo 2 күн бұрын

Your story is my story except my mom died when I was 30@@JayLangly

@lulumoon6942 Күн бұрын

And I ignored my student debt and it caused me to end up in the same position, but I still have the compounded debt. It was a loaded situation for us. Be proud of your achievement, and live out the balance you deserve. Looking back what I regret is the shame and fear instead of living for JOY. Best to you! 🙏🕊️

@lulumoon6942 Күн бұрын

@@JayLangly Everyday all yourself what would make you happy that day, look for joy in the small and big things and it gets easier. You deserve your own life, it's not too late, but sometimes we just need permission to be happy. You got it! 🙏🕊️

@jimwakefield6705 2 күн бұрын

I'm at the age where my mind keeps making promises that my body can't fill.

@brandonplays702 2 күн бұрын

I think that can happen at any age though

@66el Күн бұрын

Love they way you put it.

@heatherrogers548 Күн бұрын

I think a lot of us are going to quote you for the rest of our lives! 😂

@boomeradvocate 22 сағат бұрын

@jimwakefield6705 That's fantastic way to put it! Hardest thing is accepting that my body is not the same.

@ccam504 3 сағат бұрын

Love that 😅 now I know what’s going on!

@barbarajean7208 2 күн бұрын

Yay! I'm calling a win by cleaning half the house today. Thanks, Scott! Love this

@saltandpepperandmint 2 күн бұрын

I feel like I’m failing at life but at the same time it’s a miracle that I’m still sane

@marccarriere5525 2 күн бұрын

As a doctor, sharing your personal suffering, experiences and being empathetic to people who suffer makes a huge difference for me to understand, to accept my depression and listen carefully to your solutions. Thank you Scott, you are doing a great and important public service that is much needed.

@kwkw5711 Күн бұрын

Thank you for your service to society as a doctor. Must be so draining and challenging to be a support for other people and see so much suffering on a daily basis

@clintonandrews9044 16 сағат бұрын

He isn't a doctor. He's a psychologist.

@lizblock9593 23 сағат бұрын

Having compassion for ourselves is SO important! I've had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for a few years now and have been down a long road of beating myself up for not getting anything done, when in reality, I can about do the basics: wash the dishes, laundry, groceries, doctor appointments, and that's about it. I've finally surrendered to this truth that if I want/need to get any more done than that, I have to ask for help or pay for cleaning, yard work, etc. Being in reality about my situation is so much less stressful than beating myself up!

@maureencameron4120 2 күн бұрын

What I find difficult to come to terms with is that my baseline level of functioning - the amount of energy and resources I had to keep everything at least running, if not thriving - has changed. It used to be that I could work seven days a week, 10-12 hours a day, keep reasonably fit, have a social life etc. Now, after years of severe depression, I no longer work. I am tired after doing an errand or two. I have put on 30 lbs. I rarely leave the house outside of mandatory appointments or errands. Yes, I am doing the best I can with the resources I have now. But it's very hard to not go into the hole of despair when you realize your time/energy/attention resources are a mere fraction of what they used to be, and to not know how to build those back up, or if it's even possible.

@ravenraven966 2 күн бұрын

I'm feeling the same as you... I can barely function.

@silver_crone Күн бұрын

I’m in the same boat.

@MarianneMcVeigh-xz2yv Күн бұрын

I understand. I was high functioning most of my life, now I feel old, tired and am overweight but too exhausted to exercise.

@ravenraven966 Күн бұрын

@@MarianneMcVeigh-xz2yv , I'm not overweight.. actually I'm very thin...but I'm still very depressed.. wish I could die

@Patsysmiled 19 сағат бұрын

@@ravenraven966 🙏 I wish you love and strength

@pippacarron1861 2 күн бұрын

I went through a major crisis last week (I got caught in a string by a contractor on a project and lost $60,000). My benchmark for success has become that I behaved impeccably throughout the whole experience. I didn't shout or get angry; I didn't try to counter blackmail. I was polite and dignified in all my interactions in the situation. I've relinquished my need for revenge. My next step is to learn from the experience and let go of the overwhelming feeling of failure to monitor the situation more closely so I didn't get caught in the entrapment in the first place. Life is a jouney: we can make it harder for ourselves or we can refuse to exacerbate situations through self-flagellation.

@ladyjatheist2763 Күн бұрын

So you chose to react to the situation using stoicism, and to learn how to avoid a future circumstance that could bring on the same situation. That is rare! Wishing you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

@pippacarron1861 Күн бұрын

@@ladyjatheist2763 Very perceptive. Thanks so much.

@Brigantia11 2 күн бұрын

Living in a scarcity-based monetary society these days feels like it's getting worse exponentially. Had to leave my job after the newly hired manager doubled my workload and cut my pay in half right after I came back from medical leave after a major surgery. The severe depression I already had from that job made it impossible for me to keep up with more than 5% of daily tasks and made me feel like I was being buried alive. Leaving that toxic workplace was so important, just to catch up with everything else that was spiraling out of control. It's harder than ever to do your best these days, when there's almost no chance of a good life and you just have to break your back to survive.

@user-im8xw6xh1l 2 күн бұрын

You just wrote exactly what I was thinking 🤔!! Ditto!! You're not alone. ❤❤❤

@Kizzalovespugs Күн бұрын

Absolutely agree.when is society going to address the elephant in the room. We can't focus on anything other than treading water financially

@stevec404 2 күн бұрын

Yes. A measurement issue. After decades of a deep river of issues and sorrows, measuring progress against that is distressingly difficult. I feel like I am bouncing from mental agony in one arena to the same in another. Man, I hit my ceiling nearly every day...my mind keeps reminding me of my "lacks". This is wonderfully clear and helpful. It is why I often feel like just quitting. The word is overwhelm. I fell into anhedonia. My early childhood CPTSD made it imperative to be tops in all areas. I never could be. Not good enough was my long ago traumatic moment; it followed me for my lifetime. This is a new perspective for me; and it WILL make a difference. I will be thrilled for mediocre in most of my areas. Thank you.

@antontaun 2 күн бұрын

I relate to your experience so much; it's so tragic what our younger selves told us

@Michelle-st9yc 2 күн бұрын

I can relate to this so much as a single mom, full time therapist, and a romantic partner, having ADHD, plus everything I have to do in my home. Everyday I am overwhelmed and struggling.

@Kizzalovespugs Күн бұрын

Also a single mother with bpd which actually presents similar to adhd now I'm mature and don't drink. I have a lover but im feeling unsatisfied with the relationship and I'm also trying to qualify as a therapist but I've got so behind I think I'm TOO behind. I also have 4 pugs. Currently enjoying a Friday evening chilling in bed with candles. I try take pleasure in how far I have come.

@OG_lesliedixon 2 күн бұрын

Thank you! OMG I have beaten myself senseless my entire life over this.

@JayLangly 2 күн бұрын

You shouldn't. I've seen life get to the biggest badas*es who thought they were untouchable.

@boomeradvocate 2 күн бұрын

Metaphor is spot on. I am finally retired recently, but spent 35+ yrs on the hamster wheel in all departments of production. Divorced with 2 children in diapers, and no child support, or other support system. So, I knew it was all on me in every category. I was running 24/7 on that wheel for 20 yrs. Naturally, I always felt like I was falling short in every category. Yet, somehow the world didn't end. It was rough trying to be a good & present parent while simultaneously feeding the corporate monster saying do more...always do more. Well, somehow I did it. Even though I often felt like a failure, somehow my daughters grew up to well-rounded adults, and I was promoted at work a few times. However, I went to bed most every night feeling like a failure. Now, I can breathe, with only myself to satisfy. Ironically, I still feel like I'm falling short.

@CTHD13 Күн бұрын

@@boomeradvocate I know the feeling. Learning to just “be content or happy within myself” has been harder for me than any task I’ve ever been handed.

@boomeradvocate 22 сағат бұрын

@CTHD13 That's a fact for me. It's difficult to slow down when life has been in overdrive since I was 18. I'm spending this summer in the rural mountains of Catskills, NY, mainly to force myself to chill out mentally. I'm a city person, so adjustment was hard initially. Halfway through summer, I'm actually feeling more okay with no agenda.

@Candee0157 Күн бұрын

Are you sure, you're a "real" Dr?! Seriously, you are SO honest and real!!! Love and appreciate your work here on KZfaq!!

@montereyspike 2 күн бұрын

Thank you...for giving me the, "permission" to lower the bar. I am so sick of feeling like a failure, of letting those voices of my abusers in my head, win yet again. I have been through things that would literally kill, perhaps 999 out of a thousand people. I am still VERTICAL and I should be thankful and AMAZED at myself, for this fact alone. Anyhow, I thank you so much for this uplifting message and encouragement, Dr. Eilers. Your timing (or timing of the Universe) was impeccable, just what I needed to here today.

@debbiedelong8633 2 күн бұрын

So needed this today. So close to giving up. Thank you

@OG_lesliedixon 2 күн бұрын

@@debbiedelong8633 Me too! I’m rooting for us both! ❤️❤️❤️

@rosskcmo 2 күн бұрын

There’s such a thing as taking on too much

@twistoffate4791 2 күн бұрын

I think I just caught a break via your theory. If resources are money, and the money is not plentiful, and my projects are getting finished at a snail's pace, and I haven't completely broken down over it - then I'm doing better than I thought. My projects are extremely important to me because they are the ONLY thing I have control over, since I have no control over my family or friends, who all let me down after my parents died. We control only that which we are able, but if the last thing I can control has grinded to a halt, getting angry at myself is just not the solution.

@gangstaberry2496 2 күн бұрын

I'm sorry to hear about your friends... I'm glad you're looking to take care of yourself

@stevea6330 2 күн бұрын

Life is such a bumpy ride. It'll be such a relief to get to heaven someday. Just have to make it to the finish line with your soul intact. One day none of this suffering will matter. Just breath!

@erinflood9623 Күн бұрын

I could really relate to the example you gave. I currently work at a major home improvement retail store that is understaffed, but I have decided that I can give excellent customer service even though I am not an expert on how to fix things around the house. After watching your video on ambiguous grief, I realized that I am not experiencing the opportunities in front of me because I am pining for a failed dream from 30 years ago. Spot on. Thank you. 🙂

@1Adventurerider 2 күн бұрын

Your metaphor is literally my job. I am in production management and I suffer these woes every day in addition to my life issues. I feel completely wasted and burnt out each and every day. I feel like I'm treading water.

@DebRoo11 2 күн бұрын

Same scenario here. And grossly under paid. Giving everything i have and slipping behind

@heathermortimer1126 2 күн бұрын

this has helped me a lot thank you, I'm very sick right now, and yes doing the bare minimum to keep going, feeling like a failure. But your right all things considered I'm doing ok, keeping my home looking ok and getting up every day , to do what needs to be done. Love your analogy, Thank You so much, that was just the boost i needed to keep going.

@Ominous89 2 күн бұрын

I came from a total of 30 years of complex trauma. Only the last 3 years have been normal. I came a long way with self inquiry and complex trauma processing. This is my second year of permanent and total abstinence from alcohol. I eat better. I think better. I'm developing healthier habits and rituals. Yes, I am working on things that could be better. CPTSD is a lifelong maintenance. All without a therapist. I immerged myself in psychology, became my own psychiatrist, my own therapist, my own best friend, and I adopted my own inner child to raise it like my own child. From there also spiritual archetypes are starting to evolve. I became the clairvoyant, the alchemist, even the sorcerer who came back to lift the curses from my inner child. Healing is not linear. But I do believe I'm actually getting somewhere with actually trauma processing. I finally allow myself to enjoy my life.

@stevea6330 2 күн бұрын

I can so relate to you... Quitting just isn't an option.

@Ominous89 2 күн бұрын

@@stevea6330 never. It becomes a habit, ritual and meditation overtime. CPTSD requires lifelong maintenance. It is what it is. The more I went through my complex trauma processing, the more I value and respect myself for having survived all the dire, absurd and adverse conditions, and now for getting past all that. I'm finally in control. It is exactly why quitting and falling off the wagon will never be an option; unconditional love and respect for the self.

@lizwilliamson8332 2 күн бұрын

Well done you’re doing so well 👍

@Kizzalovespugs Күн бұрын

Can so relate to u . I'm 36 almost identical situation. U sound very self aware and a really interesting person xx

@veeveemille8830 2 күн бұрын

Thanks so much for this! It really helps those of us who battle self-loathing.

@Waggingtailsfl 2 күн бұрын

You know. Thinking about what you said, I’m distributing pretty well. I became disabled, lost everything, no support, no anything. Yet I’m doing, at least financially, better than probably 60 percent of Americans. I’m I where I want to be? No yet. But still a big pat on the back for me.

@wendybothma3548 7 сағат бұрын

A big pat on the back from me to you too!❤

@MarianneMcVeigh-xz2yv Күн бұрын

The pressure never ends even when you're older like myself at 65 years. There are grand children that need attention and resources are limited because age limits energy. I totally get this. It is so hard to do everything and appease others at the same time. Thank you for your video. ❤

@marywiggins7411 22 сағат бұрын

@@MarianneMcVeigh-xz2yv same. Heard loud and clear. I want to do more and be more, but it's exhausting

@Lauren_bex 2 күн бұрын

indeed, I go from trying and feeling I made some progress, to suddenly feeling worse and stepping back two steps, feeling frustrated like I want to give up. I go from high to deep lows to why even try at this point. Feeling awkward, like I'm out of comfort zone etc.

@klemen4686 2 күн бұрын

This. I am scattered all over the bloody place trying to find the solution for pretty much everything. And i can't bloody find anything that would really work. I don't know. I'll follow this channel. It seems like the most down to earth, supportive spot i could find.

@pippipants 2 күн бұрын

If you have any childhood trauma issues I thoroughly recommend Patrick Teahan on KZfaq. I would also recommend seeing a doctor if you are struggling with your mental health. It is an illness and there are things that can help you cope and feel better.

@klemen4686 2 күн бұрын

@@pippipants Thanks, i will check it out. I mean i am taking medications, but the whole story is far more complicated. In either case, i think right now i can't miss by keeping things on a small, manageable level.

@Nyt250 2 күн бұрын

The added complexity and mainly the burden of expectations and responsibilities is a main drive in the rise of mental illness, especially among younger people. This needs to be fundamentally addressed.

@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142 3 күн бұрын

Keep holding on ‼️ 0:00

@Wooddweller 3 күн бұрын

Thank you 🥹

@Cat-rm4rx 2 күн бұрын

❤

@muditamarathe6086 2 күн бұрын

The metaphor was on point. This was a much needed reminder. Your words got me crying in the end with a feeling that finally someone gets it. Thank you very very much dr. You give hope and empathy which has an inexplainably hug(e) effect. God bless you❤

@Karlien68 2 күн бұрын

Ow yes...I relate! My therapist said the same...4 years in recovery... Turning 56 on monday...I lost so much time and wish I was in cptsd recovery 30 years ago 😢

@yellowdayz1800 2 күн бұрын

Four years in recovery with a therapist? If I may ask.

@francescafrancesca3554 2 күн бұрын

🫂 you're still here. That means there's time 🫶. Don't let the opinions or limitations of others be your own if they hinder the things you want in life. Ily my fellow human. You are strong. You are doing it already. Just be. 🫂🫂🫂💛

@Karlien68 2 күн бұрын

@@yellowdayz1800 No...I am doing my recovery in ACA(D) and Coda....since shortly I have brainspotting sessions...

@Karlien68 2 күн бұрын

@@francescafrancesca3554 🙏💜 So exhausted though...my inner crotical parent and pushy part are rampant sometimes 😂 Becoming impatient...just want to be able to feel at ease 😪

@BubblGrl 2 күн бұрын

Makes sense. We’re back to the buckets… so many buckets and not enough water to keep them full… but it feels like we are all constantly just “surviving”, not thriving. Which is extremely validating because I definitely feel that.

@thomasrutledge5941 2 күн бұрын

It's obvious that you enjoy being able to help other people.

@mikosdanes 2 күн бұрын

Really really awesome metaphor. It makes me feel more accomplished knowing I'm keeping all the stores open instead of feeling like a failure in that I haven't made all the stores amazing and at top performance. Really cool. Thank you for that. Sometimes changing perspective brings it all into focus

@jenniferfullmer4783 2 күн бұрын

This is a brilliant metaphor! It explains a lot of behavior I've seen in others, not just my own messy house.😂

@Mimi-ry4dt 2 күн бұрын

Thank you. Such a RELIEF -- to hear someone else say: I think that doing great at everything that matters is actually not possible ..., and to hear it from someone like you with your skills and experience.

@joanfolds476 2 күн бұрын

I never feel like I'm doing a good job, because I have a fear of failure which fuels my fear of success. It comes from my childhood in which my late mother had higher expectations of me than I could reach (perfectionism). But I was always trying because my personality borders on perfection. I try so hard to prevent mistakes at all costs. At 67, I'm tired. I'm just doing my best at this point.

@marywiggins7411 Күн бұрын

Stop letting that critical voice in, pretend it's a solicitor that you shut the door on. No sale. Do something YOU want to do. Get a massage. Take a trip someplace new. Do something your parent was afraid to do. I was raised in fear of so many things, it's hard to let go of it. Just do one or two things, try it.

@tamaradrobbins 2 күн бұрын

100% Accurate Analogy … I’ve been picking & choosing where I expend my resources for decades. Work, Select Relationships (kids/romantic partner), & survival come 1st. Everything else is low priority. I’ve learned to say no often “to side distractions” from others that can’t relate to how I live. Has to be this way or the “basic survival essentials” don’t get done & bad things happen like a total shut down. Self preservation comes first & others opinions of you that have more resources / energy for whatever reason becomes “it just is what it is” & I’m over trying to explain it or fit in.

@sapphirestar5666 Күн бұрын

When I was a little kid, dads mowed the lawn on Saturdays. No one was pushing having the greenish lawn on the block. I am around a lot of rich people who paid to have EVERYTHING done for them. They expect me to be on their same level. HOAs are demons from HELL. Is the world going to fall apart if everything isn't perfect. I do not remember all this crap when I was young. Mom's could be chucky, not buffed. Fathers could have time to take you places. Why do we have to live on a magazine cover. If I am tired and feel like crap why can't I look like that too. I screwed up my arm weed wacking because of FEAR of fines from HOA. Can't we just be meaiocre?

@marywiggins7411 Күн бұрын

Can you move out of the HOA and into just a regular neighborhood, or even in the country? I would be in debt if we lived in an HOA. We live in the woods, weeds, log splitter, fallen trees that eventually become compost or firewood, some junk. And some flowers too. But would definitely set off fines and tongues wagging.

@FG-ie7cu 22 сағат бұрын

I absolutely hear you. I love a wild lawn. They are not supposed to look like golf courses: that requires too much water and too many chemicals. We went chemical-free, and we "mow what grows," keeping the mower at the highest setting, and the grass just under the 6" required by HOA, and letting wildflowers grow along the house and in corners. It has been delightful to see honeybees, wasps, grasshoppers, little moths, and more return to the chemical-free yard and hop about in the longer grasses and birds come to eat the "weed seeds." Just do the absolute min required to keep the HOA away, and put the creatures first.

@danielafraser4811 2 күн бұрын

Thank you so much for this. You made me feel so much better. I am trying to learn being patient with myself ❤ you are amazing, and l am so tired . But l am trying not to feel a failure. X

@phnsinrspt 2 күн бұрын

That's a very clear metaphor and an amazing thought I really reaaaaly needed. That's what is going on with me for past several months. It always felt like I could do much better, even in smaller things, but the thing is - if I could, I would. I couldn't. Sometimes I was at the bottom, and survived, which is truly an achievement. I spent everything I had to graduate to the point I almost completely collapsed. Your videos helped me when I was laying in my bed for days, unable to move or eat and questioning my whole life and identity - I celebrated my small steps. I'm working on going on, praising myself for continuing and trying to slowly increase my production of resources. Amazing video. Thank you, Dr. Scott.

@MinsHome361 2 күн бұрын

That IS my life. It's horrible trying to keep everything on track. How dare the world elite create this awful existance for the majority - the making of money just to survive. Thriving - another marker of 'are we enough' if we are not thriving. It's all exhausting. But great talk if I'm not dead 👏💭

@Geneparmesan Күн бұрын

It makes so much sense. There’s so many thing to focus on and it feels like I’m just trying to keep all the plates spinning. What’s frustrating is when you keep changing focus you remember how well you were doing on something else that you haven’t given as much too. It seems almost impossible to keep everything balanced and at an excellent level

@tissah4444 Күн бұрын

I needed this, especially the last minute. I am progressing so slowly but im doing better than i have in a long, long time. I can only manage to focus on my full time job while my room is still messy, im still basically nonverbal at work, and everything else is stagnant/nonexistent (relationships, finances, hobbies). This one job at a crappy call center takes ALL my resources. Its a tough pill to swallow some days. Im 30. This shouldnt be my life. But it is. And im trying. Im trying so hard not to fall apart every single day because i have so many triggers for my ptsd. The urge to crawl in a hole is so strong i have a designated tree at work to go sit under if i get overwhelmed. Again… im 30. Keeping it in the distribution perspective is so hard. But im trying.

@EEMASProductions Күн бұрын

I have been in the situation of being stuck in a job I don't like anymore and which doesn't put me at a financial independence I would prefer. Now faced with losing this job and getting a lesser paid job within the same company my pet suddenly got sick while I was in the middle of a phone interview for a better paying job. I did not have anything to distribute to accepting that new job. I was empty. I declined the job and focused on my cat. Once she was better I got sick. I cut off the distribution to the fun factory because I needed all my resources to go to taking care of my cat. I let my job slide but it still wasn't enough. So I think my body said 'I am shutting down to avoid further catastrophy. I can't maintain a healthy level of both mental and physical health at the same time. You need to take a break like right now.'

@carolinebielby5924 2 күн бұрын

Been to pay for a physciatrist twice but my anxiety/ depression is debilitating my stomach is tight and body in pain, I feel also its in my mind I can't pull out of it .I have been referred to an home care treatment team i feel like I wan to get a well feeling in my body , I'm already on meds I'm so scared everytime I get it it think I'm not going to get better 😢

@TaraWilson1010 2 күн бұрын

This is absolutely what I needed to hear today. Perfect timing!! Thank you so much!!

@CH-fc8dm Күн бұрын

This metaphor is outstanding. So hard to grasp this lived experience without trying to simply making excuses or constantly criticizing myself. Trying to focus on and manifest abundance but the struggle is very, sometimes brutally real.

@julie2904 Күн бұрын

I agree so much. I actually forward this video to my husband to try explain it to him that he isn't doing nowhere near as bad as he tells himself sometimes.

@kassiep 2 күн бұрын

This video is probably one of the top 5 videos I've ever seen/heard! I cannot tell you how much people need to hear this and how much of a impact this video has. It really grabbed my attention and made me feel alot of feelings , also more positive and uplifting

@Mvictoria2 Күн бұрын

Yes 😂 got this! Need to fine tune my 24 hr usage! Especially now that I just got cut by 20 hrs of OT. Need to fill that time with things that are going to get me closer to my goals. Just a stumbling block. Improvise, overcome and adapt.

@alexolszewski1553 2 күн бұрын

keep doing what you are doing. you helped me.

@ginoiseau 6 сағат бұрын

It's an interesting way to think. I'm now trying to be more chill about that feeling of "it's about to all go to crap". It never actually goes to crap, but it constantly feels like it could. Any second.

@becomebrightwithin 2 күн бұрын

I needed to hear this. Thank you. I am doing the best I can, where I am at. Time to bring in my focus on a couple areas instead on allllll the things. Just in time for my Q3 life planning.

@kdjourney51 2 күн бұрын

We are measuring that high ceiling, right. In so many sectors of our lives… Thanks for talking about the brain burn out. And exhaustion. And dissolving the shame around our brain just saying- no more. Your heart can be willing… you can even have a plan… but enough. It is time to nourish.

@Kimberly-hi7kp 2 күн бұрын

Well said. We need to always keep this in mind. 😊

@FlyinyourSoup 2 күн бұрын

I've been close to completely non-functioning for a while, and this perspective really helped me have more self compassion. Something that I find difficult to have. Thanks Dr Scott. I'm really looking forward to a future video where you talk about how to increase production capacity - please and thank you!

@gromulus2885 2 күн бұрын

Thank you for your message and for trying to help people. People like you are in tragically short supply.

@marissapr 2 күн бұрын

Thank you sooo much! I needed to hear this ❤

@kathrynarnold1966 2 күн бұрын

You describe it well. I commend you for your ongoing achievements in satisfying your responsibilities and breaking new ground that prevents stagnation. Integral to that is admiration for keeping your eye on the Philippians 4:8 ball. I wish I had your counsel before. Without giving the necessary attention to safeguarding and improving my production supply, I shut down whole regions and wore myself thin struggling to keep the remaining stores open. If I named advice I need right now it's how to deal with self-pity. It's not helping. It's energy I don't have to spare and it's making things worse.

@KathleenRenninger 22 сағат бұрын

Fantastic metaphor! And I get it; it's not what I'm able to accomplish, it's what I still manage to do despite the minimal resources I have, and the circumstances I'm dealing with. This perspective does help me to feel better. Thank you!

@m-bronte 2 күн бұрын

it is extremely difficult to change the programming

@hollybolien2053 2 күн бұрын

This ties in with the Spoons Theory..🤔

@TheClarity101 16 сағат бұрын

This hit hard; mum died before the pandemic and in the time since I’ve had to save up for surgery, adopted the family dog, lost my home, lost my job, got a flat, built a business as a pt while trying to work towards my passion job I want (animation), upskill as a coach and finish a novel manuscript and while my house is kinda messy, I’ve managed to knock over most of these things or be consistent despite my mental health and the fact I need to shut down every weekend entirely over a five year stretch. I’m not optimal, but I’m slowly chipping away on progress

@Thalanox 2 күн бұрын

A computer dividing it's RAM into different programs at the same time was the analogy my brain threw at me. I've gone through a handful of times I've had to just completely restructure my life from the foundational perspective onwards. I'm currently (when I'm still able to think with a longer term view and perspective) trying to hit a handful of pillars at the center of my life, with multiple subjects underneath each pillar that are disconnected. This is in contrast to trying to take every other task as it's own thing which may or may not be the next most important thing. Categorization such that I am nearly always forced to think and ask myself if this new potential commitment is in line with my core principals has made it easier to say "no" to things I would normally love to jump in to. This way, I feel like I've been able to reduce a lot of the pressure I was under.

@candyheartsart 2 күн бұрын

Thank you. I have Autism, ADHD and CPTSD. I home school my Autistic ADHD kid. I look after, feed, and clothe my kid, as well as putting him to bed and looking after his emotional needs. I clean the house, I run an art business, I am trying to upload videos to my art youtube. I have to look after my partners emotional needs, as well as my own, my partner helps sometimes. I take care of a disabled, incontinent dog. Sometimes I get to play a game of league of legends at night time. I am exhausted.

@zankel28 2 күн бұрын

I really needed to hear that. Thank you.

@bigbob4621 20 сағат бұрын

Thank you. I needed to hear this.

@paulashettlesworth7601 2 күн бұрын

Thank you so much. Really needed that reassurance right now.

@larsbunch Күн бұрын

To extend the metaphor a bit, if the stores do not send back some of what is earned from selling product, it leaves the distribution manager with nothing to fund production. If your friends and family think you are doing alright or have their own issues and don’t provide you with the emotional support you need, you can end up feeling even more unable to function. Unfortunately a lot of us put up a facade of functioning adequately and others don’t see that we need help. The result can be an ever growing feeling that it is impossible to get your needs met.

@marywiggins7411 21 сағат бұрын

@@larsbunch even asking for the right help rarely works to relieve the burnout.

@imanoeone 2 күн бұрын

Thank you Dr. Scott

@MsEco13 Күн бұрын

I needed to hear this. Thank you.

@Old52Guy 2 күн бұрын

Thank you for this.

@janeyoung4285 2 күн бұрын

I think you are amazing. You explain things so clearly and make such a lot of sense. Thank you so much for all you are doing. You have helped me a lot already, and I've only been listening to you for a few days. ❤

@isabellebernier866 Күн бұрын

Perfect metaphore; thank you🙏

@user-ne4vh8hi1f 2 күн бұрын

Brilliant video THANK YOU

@yellowdayz1800 2 күн бұрын

Gonna watch this... Hoping it is what my sore heart needs to hear. 🎉🎉

@Kangarooleathershoe. Күн бұрын

Needed that 🙌🙏

@Teaandhoney38 2 күн бұрын

Thank u scott

@brandonplays702 2 күн бұрын

Thanks this really helped me

@Brightflash333 2 күн бұрын

Hey Doc, Well done . Very helpful….. Thank you. Carry on sir!

@nicokolvenbach8578 2 күн бұрын

Thank You Scott.

@heatherrogers548 Күн бұрын

Before you said, “Task switching compassion fatigue” I already identified it in myself. I work with animals all day. I don’t have as many responsibilities as most adults. But I do have ADHD. Test switching causes anxiety. And people may think it’s silly but compassion fatigue is very much real in my profession. And as I was writing this one of the puppies I’m carrying for got into the trash.😅

@Cyanide_Mallika 2 күн бұрын

I'm actually doing worse than I'll like to admit. I'm constantly playing video games because even a minute to myself brings so many devastating thoughts and realisations to my mind. What I'm going through is really too much to take in. I cannot process all the pain, I can't even tend to my wounds because they're too much to even look at. I'm only left with one option, to essentially become a zombie.

@amyhull754 23 сағат бұрын

This was a reassuring and fantastic metaphor and video. Now if only I could do the bare minimum (and make it LOOK like I'm doing enough) for my job!!!

@reverie6034 23 сағат бұрын

Thank you.

@veneheron8947 2 күн бұрын

Thank you

@serenarobak3640 2 күн бұрын

Thank You

@pawelp531 2 күн бұрын

My career has always been somewhat all over the place, but I've always had a lot of friends and spent my 20s travelling. Now, most of them have little time for me left as they have either started their families or are fully consumed by their jobs. I'm now refocusing on my career in my 30s, but it's hard not to compare myself to peers who are already higher-ups at this point and most of the people around me are younger. Starting a family in such circumstances is also an added difficulty. I can see it started long ago when I neglected school. This is my biggest regret. But, well, I do have a lot of great memories at least.

@wendybothma3548 10 сағат бұрын

I agree with you absolutely. The only way I’ve been able to function is to pare down my physical activities to the bare essentials. I have very low physical energy. I also have to forgive myself practically daily for poor performance in my estimation.

@mercx007 2 күн бұрын

Thanks doc

@simoneverodimarrow 2 күн бұрын

True truee! Trust the process

@ItsTarotAndBeyond 2 күн бұрын

100% agree, especially in this isolationist, hyper-independent, capitalist society

@SecretSecretSecretTunnel Күн бұрын

14:50 I'd love if you could expand more, maybe in a future video, about how you recognize your boundaries and avoid overworking yourself and burning out. One of the most daunting parts of improving my life and mental health is that I cannot tell the difference between pushing through my instinct to totally avoid my anxieties, and pushing past my limits of energy and attention and hurting myself.