Your Body Is a Joke

Рет қаралды 753,360

3 жыл бұрын

Your body is a joke....we meant temple. These comedians will tell you all about how they're dealing with their temples.
Comedian Lineup:
Nate Bargatze
Ray Romano
Patton Oswalt
Fortune Feimster
Cristela Alonzo
Tom Segura
Marc Maron
Tiffany Haddish
Urzila Carlson
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About Netflix Is A Joke: The official hub of Netflix stand-up, comedy series, films, and all things funny - curated by the world’s most advanced algorithm and a depressed, yet lovable, cartoon horse. Their unlikely friendship is our story…
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Пікірлер: 200

@yamilad.555 3 жыл бұрын

“I don’t know who he disrespected more me or Olivia”😂😂😂

@JW-vd4il 9 ай бұрын

I still want to know why this old man might have thought his wife... would be topless at the side of the road! "Oh, honest mistake." Olivia and her husband (the old man) must be pretty wild. 😂😂😂

@ludmillagutomo 2 жыл бұрын

"not chocolatey brown, not fudge brown, as brown as brown as the dirt in the graveyard that awaits you!" 😂😂😂

@JargonMadjin Жыл бұрын

"You inspired me" "Oh, I didn't mean to" This obliterated me

@Selinxxxxxxx Жыл бұрын

Help sugar bat get back to his insulin STOOPPPP 😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭

@scee8260 3 жыл бұрын

Oh my god, Patton Oswald. I just bought my first serious cereal last week. Up until this point the only cereal I have consumed is rainbow. I told my mom I bought "adult cereal" she didn't believe me. I had to text her a picture

@PerfectlyImperfct 2 жыл бұрын

"omg my baby's all grown up!" 🤣🤣

@rasmusn.e.m1064 3 жыл бұрын

Damn, that Patton Oswalt bit is almost poetic. I'm in my twenties, and I'm already starting to see the magic fade from the small things in life.

@elenalouis311 3 жыл бұрын

You’re so right it hurts

@Headpimples 2 жыл бұрын

Lol I eat Ezekiel cereal! Lol I need that iron! But it’s good! But hurts my sensitive teeth lol! Gotta let it soak!

@callefalk4457 2 жыл бұрын

WTF???

@randywatson1982 2 жыл бұрын

I’m 39, I started eating Wheaties and bran flakes about 10 years ago. I love them. Sometimes I mix them with a sugar cereal like a cereal killer…

@PerfectlyImperfct 2 жыл бұрын

What til u get in ur thirties and beyond lol

@nada__ 3 жыл бұрын

Damn Netflix u didn’t have to come @ me like that. Like I’m trying my best ok ?

@beebsxoxo 3 жыл бұрын

LMAO 🤣😆😆 Too FUNNY 😆🤣😆🤣

@buschg7106 3 жыл бұрын

"Olivia?"🤣🤣

@abbyiswatching2046 3 жыл бұрын

Patton Oswalt's bit reminded me of the Saturday Night Live classic bit where Phil Hartman does a commercial for a cereal called "Colon Blow!"

@avidnongetit8710 Жыл бұрын

I still LMAO about colon blow! Haven't seen it in decades. It's just Great

@Germatti13489 3 жыл бұрын

I remember when I first realized that I was "old". I saw someone I hadn't seen in a long time and had only met through my job, so I didn't really know him. But for some reason he gave me a hug then said to me, "You aren't as old as I thought you were". 👵

@nieblamulticolor 3 жыл бұрын

ruuude

@Germatti13489 3 жыл бұрын

@@nieblamulticolor very true. ❤️👵

@Dakarai_Knight 2 жыл бұрын

Yooooo why they gotta do you like that

@EuroGuy85 2 жыл бұрын

If you were born in 89, you’re not old yet. Wait until 2029, then you’ll be old.

@PerfectlyImperfct 2 жыл бұрын

"Cry more and eat less" 😂😂😂 i love tom segura. Hes such a delightful asshole lmao

@viceshark 3 жыл бұрын

I keep Whole Foods bags in my car so my neighbors don’t see me carrying in mcdonalds everyday.

@beebsxoxo 3 жыл бұрын

Me TOO 😎😎😎👍

@ameliaa2302 3 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣💀🤣🤣

@alisiabarbour7374 3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@missme8674 3 жыл бұрын

I just don’t care anymore ❗️

@notevenlistening6072 3 жыл бұрын

Never thought of that!

@opinionatedlookinboy5555 2 жыл бұрын

The Australian lady at the end was hilarious. And she was oh-so correct!! That bunghole hair will both surprise and gross the hell out of you. Lmao 🤣

@AirWindFire 2 жыл бұрын

Tears in my eyes! “Why is it so dark!?”!

@adambeckers4423 Жыл бұрын

Her name's Urzila Carlson. Her accent is mostly South African with a bit of New Zealand thrown in there.

@blugreen123 2 жыл бұрын

This should have included John Mulaney's bit about talking through burps and being damp all the time. 😂

@Slicer1475 3 жыл бұрын

I became overweight to the point where I told my doctor that i was tired of using 3 full body mirrors to pee in the morning. So i went from 240 to 175 in a year after getting off of meds that made me go from 154 to 215 in 4 months. I peeked at 240 around 6 months later. When asked if there were any changes, i told the receptionist yes that i had DickeyDoo Syndrome. That's where your stomach sticks out further than your dickey doo. She almost wrote that in my charts haha. But I'm sticking around the 175 mark as of now.

@mipoorboy1478 3 жыл бұрын

Great job! That stuff isn’t easy!! I lost 45lbs in a year and it had to do with dropping meds too. I didn’t even know how bad I felt. My health was crap and I thought I felt better than I did. But there is no denying that weight loss in a healthy way truly does make life easier and better.

@9keykey Жыл бұрын

Dickey Doo Syndrome is relative with the Booty Doo Syndrome. Stomach sticks out more than your booty do.🤣

@TaxidriverBarbi Жыл бұрын

It's been a year since you posted, are you still doing good? Hope so! As a woman, we get boody-doo. Gut sticks out further than my boody do.

@Slicer1475 Жыл бұрын

@@TaxidriverBarbi still on the right track. Thank you! Hopefully everything is going good for you as well.

@TaxidriverBarbi Жыл бұрын

@@Slicer1475, I've yo-yoed 100 lbs up and down for years. I've stayed at the higher end for a long time now. HOWEVER, I just went through some big life changes and plan to use this as a new life. Ironically, around New Years, so fingers crossed. Brush some of your self control my way 😏

@Poppins242 2 жыл бұрын

Cry more, eat less 😂 Tom segura is a legend

@nexusSix_237 11 ай бұрын

Totally is ❤

@Amarideout 2 жыл бұрын

Why are high fiber cereals always sh!t brown? It's like...they wanna make you feel like it REALLY really works....😂 like 'See? Solid in, solid out, smooth move, have a second bowl for the bowl!"

@wesleysmith2934 3 жыл бұрын

I think the old man trolled the first comedian

@Imsexysryurnot 3 жыл бұрын

... can I just say, when she power walked at 6:30 with the shoulders up... not bad 😉

@lydianayo8041 2 жыл бұрын

I've heard that opening joke about Olivia a bunch of times, and I still laugh out loud. Every time.

@JW-vd4il 9 ай бұрын

Today is the first time I heard this. I put this compilation on, for a morning mood-lifter, getting ready to go out. Then I had to stop it because I was laughing so hard I was literally crying. I'm trying to get ready to leave the house looking normal! So I was thinking about it all day. Probably looked like a psycho sometimes, trying to suppress giggling about it. I just got home and watched again, ready to laugh and let the laughter-tears loose. But surely it won't hit me as hard this time, right? -- nope, WORSE: I think a muscle in my side just BROKE forever, laughing so hard. 😂😂😂

@johnpossum556 3 жыл бұрын

20+ surgeries here. Yeah, my body is a joke.

@avidnongetit8710 Жыл бұрын

Cancer 3x I joke with my family about how I look great above the shirt...but Frankenstein without it... Thank you God for giving me perspective and a sense of humor

@seekingeudaimonia6884 3 жыл бұрын

I just realized, watching a comedian nowadays live, is basically paying to read someone’s top tweets, just with enthusiasm and an ability to convey sarcasm appropriately.

@seekingeudaimonia6884 3 жыл бұрын

@CrazyNights14 there are better ones out there, but I mean the vast majority of newer comics, this is their style. Which I can’t blame them. I have used Facebook since I was 14 or 15. I’m 28, I don’t use it anymore myself but I still think in terms of statuses instead of connection with my fellow man.

@EuroGuy85 2 жыл бұрын

If you go to Lewis Black’s shows he literally reads off of his tablet

@Johnywang1 2 жыл бұрын

hey man if its that easy for you . u should be a comedian 100%. these people (even the ones u prolly think are bad) work on writing and performing their material for 2-5 years.

@oofshapedhuman4974 2 жыл бұрын

Oh you mean this is like using Twitter without half the bullshit? Sweet

@brycealthoff8092 2 жыл бұрын

Some comedians yeah. But all my favorite comedians are story tellers. That kind of thing doesn’t fit in 240 characters or whatever Twitter is.

@Bailemos888 Жыл бұрын

There should be a word find as after 50 our memory start dwindling.

@noelpiriz9977 2 жыл бұрын

17:15 😂 sounds like the plan I would make when I get paranoid

@TekkaSage 3 жыл бұрын

Video should be titled: Middle aged men transitioning to being old.

@himdotcom 2 жыл бұрын

I understand your point, but there were some women in it as well.

@branon6565 2 жыл бұрын

There were more women in this vid than there were men, so your comment is null and void....

@nyrsheaw.arcticcircleart4026 Жыл бұрын

After you get back from disposing of the phone in every toilet, you find out that there is thing called the cloud and your video is still out there!🤣

@Sylverminx 3 жыл бұрын

Lol Patton is hilarious.

@tylerhackner9731 3 жыл бұрын

Bet this’ll be relatable to me eventually lol

@sammymcmumma 3 жыл бұрын

It comes to us all......I'm there, I wish it wasn't relatable!

@natalyamartirosyan 3 жыл бұрын

It’s like a 100% bet. But you don’t win.

@thisisntsergio1352 3 жыл бұрын

@@natalyamartirosyan 💯

@scholargrrl 3 жыл бұрын

Tiffany Haddish is goals!!!

@danieljob3184 2 жыл бұрын

That last bit was hilarious, especially when you realise most modern smartphones save straight to the Cloud!

@biancaperry34 Жыл бұрын

Unless you’re cloud is always full because you refuse to pay for more storage

@JargonMadjin Жыл бұрын

Cloud is both a blessing and a curse

@typacsk 10 ай бұрын

I learned that from Josh Wolf!

@TheUnatuber 3 жыл бұрын

More Romano Required. (A pinch more Maron, as well.)

@Amarideout 2 жыл бұрын

From Frosted flakes to Wheat germ. Smh it is very sad😢

@marvandthe4topz 2 жыл бұрын

I started eating eating adult cereal when I was at my sisters and instead of going for all the sugar ones she had for the kids I ate the one my BIL had that was a mix of shredded wheat oatmeal squares and bran, no raisins. I actually enjoyed it.

@handsanitizer5127 Жыл бұрын

Those are really good tho

@MissMoni83 Жыл бұрын

@@handsanitizer5127 Yup, we gotta get creative as we age.. Make it fun. Love your idea!

@isaiahayers1550 Жыл бұрын

I know what BIL stands for now.

@marvandthe4topz Жыл бұрын

@@isaiahayers1550 haha nice

@edithdlp8045 Жыл бұрын

6:05 I was born in 1975 and did get to use shoulder pads when I was only 12.

@mwobobiasroundup 2 жыл бұрын

I am 40...I relate to all this

@JD-dh7bk 2 жыл бұрын

Tiffany & Urzila lmfao

@adamfitz1102 3 жыл бұрын

My knees click when I bend them. So I'm there bud. 29. Not young. But not old

@mattysheehan9786 3 жыл бұрын

Have you injured your knees in the past 10 years? My brothers knees have clicked for as long as I can remember, he’s 30, but he’s had surgery to remove cartilage, yet it still clicks, but I don’t think he has much pain in them. You may have an inury!

@butterflymorning1904 2 жыл бұрын

29? Baby you're still at the good part!

@bulldogvillan 3 жыл бұрын

Picture of Patton Oswalt "I was running the clock out on my wife"

@adamplumpton4440 3 жыл бұрын

I caught that too.lol

@kmb655 2 жыл бұрын

Romano said that.

@sweetpea775 10 ай бұрын

She said soo I sat down n started watching it like it was a movie 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 💀

@DK-xw5hp 3 жыл бұрын

Damn I’m so early I get to find out if netflix looks at the comments.

@newtempphone-ash9507 3 жыл бұрын

silly, no one regulate the internet...

@netflixisajoke 3 жыл бұрын

👀

@newtempphone-ash9507 3 жыл бұрын

@@netflixisajoke wow weird!

@newtempphone-ash9507 3 жыл бұрын

@@netflixisajoke who are you?

@feliciabet-hormoz8950 2 жыл бұрын

Yes please

@irenesambe 3 жыл бұрын

I love this...

@fyrewolf7805 2 жыл бұрын

netflix=joke body=joke netflix=body?

@Scribe13013 3 жыл бұрын

My body strong like iron

@Diesel257 3 жыл бұрын

Maybe don't put "I was running the clock out on my wife" next to a comedian with a dead wife.

@himdotcom 2 жыл бұрын

I caught that as well. I don't think whomever created the compilation knew.

@ellaeadig263 Жыл бұрын

"WHY AM I FUCKING YOU, WHY ARE YOU FUCKING ME" rofl

@JuanRamosNCWrestling 2 жыл бұрын

Dude took the eight count during sex 🤣

@PetfaxTV 2 жыл бұрын

I heard that Aussie accent and almost closed the app cuz I thought it was a Hannah Gadsby New Zealand accent.

@gimmethegreenbacks 2 жыл бұрын

Jebadia

@marjenkins1521 Жыл бұрын

OMG my mom dressed my prissy too! I hated it! I just wanted to be comfortable. Horrible shoulder pads and sleeves I'm the middle of short and long! I hated it. She thought I was gay because I just wanted to be comfortable. I'm bi actually 😆

@easyrecipesanddeliciousfoo2954 3 жыл бұрын

💖🌸🌷🌺

@kanedaku 2 жыл бұрын

Please employ a professional who can process your audio goddammit.

@Amarideout 2 жыл бұрын

😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣

@christopherstafford6442 2 жыл бұрын

Tiffany handing can get it

@theshadowreaper2986 Жыл бұрын

Once a Uber driver saw me, my mom said sister and thought I was my mom’s parent lol I’m not even 30 yet

@KibsAnimeshans 2 жыл бұрын

so we all just skipping past the guy who played Manny from ice age is a comedian?

@AirWindFire 2 жыл бұрын

We knew. Most people would credit Ray Romano with Everybody Loves Raymond though.

@JargonMadjin Жыл бұрын

@@AirWindFire Bro, I'm in my early 20s and I knew him from ELR first, still a good show

@shekriptic2851 3 жыл бұрын

Cry more eat less 🤣

@RECTALBURRITO 2 жыл бұрын

I think I'm a hypochondriac now.

@hereforit9761 3 жыл бұрын

Is that the kid from Bad Santa?

@77zrod46 Жыл бұрын

I didnt know Ralphy Mae had a comedian sister. Lol

@FrancHoopsandBlox Жыл бұрын

That was a funny joke stop trying to turn it

@dalriadajohannsen 2 жыл бұрын

✊🏼

@reesej1384 3 жыл бұрын

I'm in the clip and I don't like it

@goodguy...badrep. 3 жыл бұрын

Time stamp?

@jeremyblackwater439 3 жыл бұрын

Where ya at?

@efisgpr 2 жыл бұрын

12:24 🍑

@novellalesli2018 3 жыл бұрын

The tearful node neuroanatomically tow because look bodily replace towards a tacit cereal. cold, therapeutic cuticle

@xoxoshaneandmexoxo 2 жыл бұрын

What do these comments mean!! Are they algorithm feeders?????

@mhhmm7069 3 жыл бұрын

@sweetpea775 10 ай бұрын

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@nezaramovha3640 3 жыл бұрын

Early

@TheMan2030 Жыл бұрын

It doesnt even sound good ha

@coleisright1125 2 жыл бұрын

That first bit was joe Biden to a T

@nicholasrobinfant3295 Жыл бұрын

Born pregnant, cactus thing, C-section, amputation, wished I could have dreamt longer. Hit by truck, age 17, pig heart, ape lungs, boa gut, cow stomach's. Age 27, blew self, 4 ribs removed. I was made to fail since birth.