Exactly. I was in a band with a highly narcissistic singer, I'd go as far as saying he was a malignant narcissist too.

Amen

Spot on!

I actually remember thinking at one point, 'this guy believes his own b.s' so true.

Then the political power will never have debate. I supposed you’re right and that ship sailed.

Communication is never the goal with narcissistic personality. It's all about attention, conflict, and the persistent unending need to be in control . I believe this shows up because in reality , they feel out of control within themselves. It's possible that they don't even know who they are . The false self . Etc

There is "black hole" in them where supposed to be emphaty and self awareness, and self respect. Nobody can fill it for them, but themselves... Sad, but true

Unless you exist UNDER them and the obsession and are willing to let go of everything that is You.

AMEN!

I always stood up for myself and gave my opinions and gave the hard core facts. He gets upset and says I’m crazy or that I’m telling stories again. Currently in no contact again. I can’t take it anymore. I just completely hate his guts anymore. I have nothing nice to say to him. He sucked the nice right out of me.

Very true dear 😢

It definitely has me 2nd guessing getting into another relationship.

@@muhammadsteinberg ikr, all those thoughts keep on going through your mind. And the worst part is when they say that person isn’t bound to change,you just have to learn how to live with them🤦🏻‍♀️

@namubirujoan2015 I'm 26yrs into this mess I got myself into. Didn't have a name for what was taking place, I just knew I was on a hellish merry-go-round. Nonstop arguments and insane BS. Came upon these kind of post and BINGO! Did further research and realized I was slowly groomed and played to be a doormat. Done the gray rock and no contact several times to reset my sanity. Silent and gray rock now for the past 3 months. Only difference this time is I'm doing while preparing for to divorce her. I feel energized and happy!

Exactly

Id gladly visit you and help or just accompany ❤

Well done you 😊 Mines 55 son boy has he uncorked hate he must have been gathering in minute detail his entire life. The misreading of simple comments and even my loving emails to his terminal mother in law are now.. I hurt her and upset the entire family bringing him shame?? That's 7 years ago. Not a word b4 now How do they create all this alternate life Gone no contact. Handling ignoring new attracts. Stay safe. Be kind to yourself 💜

@@Kathy-kr1sv thank you Kathy. I’m getting to know who I am after all this time. Loving spending every moment with myself doing the things that I want to do or not doing anything at all. It’s up to me how I spend my time. When I weaken , and think there might be a chance, I go back through my journal and look at all the rotten things they have done to me. That puts my head on straight again. Thank you again for your comment.🌹

❤

I am so very happy for you! Nothing can compare to real peace 😊

Thank you

❤ty

💗 Ameen ☝🏽💖🌌💫

If it feels like a dental appt don't go

Thank you, thank you, thank you! 💜🙏🏼

Yes thank you so I much

@@elongh9358 2:55

3:09 😢

Yes! I have learned so much from these videos, which is beyond helpful since I can't afford therapy.

I totally agree! Therapy is insanely expensive. Just wanted to recommend - there’s an emotionally-intelligent AI program called “PI, your personal AI” that I’ve used for basic counselling or therapy. If you can’t afford therapy, I’d highly recommend chatting with it a bit if you need : )

Yep that' truly sums it ALL up tenfold!!

"I can't be responsible for your feelings" is what I got lol. I was like okayyy this is for sure goodbye.

Also: You: I feel... Narcissist: NO! I FEEL...

@@Renee60722 haha exactly why we shouldn't bother and just ghost their asses

Read that NPD is a maladaptive protective response to Borderline Personality Disorder... 🤔

haha I love this. I can just imagine saying "howdy" to mine - his head would pop off.

Good idea, if you pull it off. Emotional detachment...

I joke around with a narcissist once and I got in big trouble at work. I thought she was my friend until I made the joke. What ensued was months of not knowing what I’ve done and then to be finally called into my boss’ office and being told that I have bullied her! To this day, I beat myself up for making that joke. I also wanted to say thanks to Dr. Rama I as before this incident, I didn’t know what a narcissist was, I have learnt and watching the videos have helped me a lot. I’m getting better and sometimes I just come here for help in my “recovery!” Thank you Dr. And all the people who wrote about their experience as this had help during sleepless nights. For those who cannot afford therapy, please listen to Dr Ramani’s videos. ❤ Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 😊

This is incredible advice to add with Dr.Ramani’s tools and teachings!!! I love this. Thank you for this tool.

Honestly, that's how HE speaks to me or about things when he's complaining and I just ignore it and walk away. Let them stew in their selfishness, by not making it more important than your worth!!

It is true. 💯 always your fault

This!!

Amen! That's the story of my life.

This... mine dumped all his stress on me and when I would worrie will get mad and tell me I should t have told you nothing... now I completely ignore him of any negative situation and then laugh and say KARMA 😂😂

Yes they do, they make you crazy and blame you for it. Disgusting.

Wait, what? Children should compete for their parents attention?

My father did the same. He discribed us as his little toy soldiers he could make do what he wanted, when he wanted and battles against eachother and choose sides.

Yep! 😂

My daughter said this to me…about the “uncomfortable position” part. She is definitely narcissistic and it breaks my heart that I have to cut her out of my life 😢

My husband used to do the same thing to my friend's and family. He would take the opposite side of an argument just to watch their reaction. It was maddening and confusing. Our dichroic is ongoing. Ib thought it was going to be finished at the end of the month but my lawyer said that was just one hurdle and that we still have another 6 to 12 months to go!😢

I'm glad you made it🎉

@Gale4heath.. Exactly my thinking..'stumble.' We should not be stumbling on this kind of information. This is vital life skills-necessary for survival! It should be in schools;other non-formal education settings such as faith groups.

​@patb-d2264 I agree wholeheartedly. It should not have taken me 31 years to find out what kind of family members where around me.😢

@@lilc5353 Thanks for acknowledging how I feel about this. We should try and spread the word about the need for this knowledge in 'Informal Education' settings.

70 YEARS. WOW! You deserve an award of some sort. Perhaps we can crowd fund here a nice plaque you can hang above the fire place mantel. SURVIVOR. 70 Years!! If you had made it to a 100 years, you'd be the goat

Emily I'm getting way better too. I'm proud of us moving forward even in a covert narcissist relationship. Finding truth really helped me. GOD has been here thru this with me. Good job Emily👊

Proud of you. Pray for my escape from this hell.

Same, I found it liberating to stop feeling guilty and shame about another adult's lack of self-control, emotional regulation, reactionary control, and children immature tantrums - hold them accountable anyways being reasonable, fair, and occasionally bold in personal boundary respect when it's warranted. I wouldn't apply the same framework to those severely disabled in communication and basic survival needing 24-7 assistance, not the same playing field and not helping anyone. Manipulation tactics would be expected as a compensatory form of communication. Children naturally engage emotional manipulation as a survival technique, but require mentors and rites of passage to mature into their own independent regulation of these processes and engage more effective communication instead. I believe a lack of rite of passage leads to a growth of narcissistic traits to naively compensate for this maturation but the full blown disorder is something much more advanced with more suspect genetic predisposition perhaps, so fundamental of the individual to leverage others as a means for their primary a way of life.

That’s exactly how I feel why does e everyone have to argue with ne

Yup and no time is every a good time to have any discussion to resolve issues big or small.

I'm very familiar with that. Appreciate this information. Disengaging is good because there is such a big difference between having a conversation with a narcissist and talking with 'normal' people.

Yes!!!!

Soooo true. The other side is when you want to have a nice conversation they turn that into a big fight and freak out. So if you want to discuss nicely or even gently call them out, it’s “fighting,” or they actually turn it into a fight 🤷🏽‍♀️

Believe me, they dont want you fun and relaxed around them. Inside they are happy that you are stressed and scared around them but pretend to be angry that you are not fun around them. Its only to make you feel even worse. If you were truly relaxed and fun around them that would mean they have no mental power over you and that would be a disaster for them so no worries everythings going just fine, according to their plan and inside they are overjoyed

@@yuu_miran they engender an atmosphere where you cannot be yourself and the blame you for being who and how you are, that's my experience with my fam. These parents 'use' their children for what they want and don't see their adult kids as separate human beings, more like cages pets at best

💗 I've lost my voice and words a long time ago. But here I am, back again. Let's go!!! Take care ☝🏽💖🌌💫

@@bereal6590 You have to be a version of yourself that they want to see. You can't be your true self around them.

@@yuu_miran It's weird with them. They want power over you and like to scare people. They also want you to be happy when they are but only about good things that happened to them. When you experience other emotions, you're just 'killing the vibe'.

I’m 🙏🏼for your recovery. Be strong, you will prevail!🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼

@@Rtumpsucks thank you 🎈

AMAZING AWSOME THANK YOU FOR YOUR STRENGH

@ Kim Arcut Congratulations you awesome warrior Delighted for you! So very well articulated "When the pupil is ready, the teacher appears " She is on you tube & we are all so blessed to have got so much support from DrRamini's daily videos I owe her so much gratitude 🎉

Well done!!!

Stick there... you have done an amazing job

Weird . My husband gives me the silent stonewalling…

​@@thomasncheryllynn it's cause you injured him! You didn't give him no supply or reaction so he's punishing you.

I find this more true for some BPD people than NPD. BPD is similar almost a type of narcissism. Maybe check that out, you might find it more helpful. Just in my experience

@@loismendelsohn3210 thank you.

Well done👏🏿👏🏿👍🏾👍🏾👍👍🌍

They usually get worse

It s so sad. I went no contact for 2 yrs and then made the mistake of reconnecting again. Thought everyone deserves another chance. I was so so wrong.

@@ruchigera2693 I totally get it. Dr Ramani has said many times that narcissists very seldom do change and sincerely want to make amend, and she is so right. It is sad....

They don’t change

This is funny, “nice” way to put it.

...including shunning ANY contact with a narcissist who: is a slob; is too lazy & arrogant to clean up after themselves; sleeps around; can't respect the sanctity of people's homes as a safehaven; feels entitled to hijack, bogart & take financial advantage (financial abuse) of others' resources & livelihood...

yep,cleaning up the dirt for our peace of mind is important

...& in extreme cases: f*nancially (if they've subtly become a mooching entitled parasite; can't seem to keep a job; artfully introduce evolving plausible deniable excuses & urgent emergencies to manipulably tug at your conscience & heart strings; blame others for their misfortunes & sob stories; trade favors for: fun, on your hard-earned time on your dime; continually play traumatizing mind-chess-games hovering & hoovering rent-free in your head space... "I've Gotta Wash That Man/(Gal/Cad) Right Outta My Hair!"

Sounds exactly like my wife, all she can do is tell me what I'm not doing, or what I should do, and then start calling me names, she is a total peace of s...

Sounds like my dad 🙄

@Shivs628 can't do anything right, it's amazing how someone can play games with someone they say they love

Interesting.. Recent I had a light 💡 on moment. Since childhood, all through adulthood, did not occur to me about family members and later spouse. How can it be possible, they are right 99.99% of the time? And, that .001% I could possibly be right, still they cannot say yes you might be right, like other people? Right then, I realized, something was wrong with this whole thing of me being wrong! This, ladies and gentlemen, I see now is the beginning of healing! It IS the beginning of our minds shifting from their pattern created since childhood for some of us, to break awareness going forward! It’s extremely difficult! It feels like ripping out bandages stuck on skin and leaving raw flesh! Leading to celebrating a funeral for a family member(s) we never had, and we wished we had. There is hope. For me, I believe in Jesus. So as I cried, I prayed. And He responded. As He only knows! With Love and a firm reminder of His promises that are not a lie. Right here on KZfaq listening to #TheGuardian by #bishopjakes I celebrated a funeral for my mother, siblings, a former life of humiliation, and celebrated being discarded like a piece of trash 🚮 This time, this trash, cannot be called back again. I went to the landfill of heaven and got picked up by someone else John 14:16, that reminded me of my worth! Remember, someone’s trash is someone else’s treasure! We are a treasure to our Father in Heaven. We are Loved, unconditionally! And this Love we pass on. Love, enjoy today. Having peace within. Blessings

Sounds like my relationship in a nutshell.

I tried doing the same and he accused me of not wanting to cooperate with him and bad coparenting in court

​@@user-ir2hx9ye4x This is so hard. I am in this situation now. At least we have been told to see a parenting therapist so I can get an outside opinion. But this is hard, it seems like this is an impossible balancing act.

⁠​⁠@@user-ir2hx9ye4xit sux for both of you. That you grew up to get baby trapped and never ended up with romantic love every young girl yearns for. You grow up to hate how your life has ended up !

Do you have a lot of pets like I do to keep you company when I get home from work it works for me ❤

it's nice to hear that it works for you. I am an introvert too, but I get too bored and kind of stressed if I do not communicate with, for instance, my mother or father or someone for more than 2 days. Fortunately I am on good terms with my parents, but I've cut my 2 terribly toxic narcissist siblings out of my life. I am single and live by myself. So the trouble my mom gives me frequently is that "people grow older and older and they need someone to take care of them " she actually means me as being single, and when I grow old, I will need to depend on my siblings to take care of me or when I become sick or something and no one is around. She means well for me, but I also take it as manipulation and it bothers me and I, by, no means would want to connect with these two siblings. I have other siblings too who are wonderful, but my mom, a narcissist herself specially in her youth and who has cut her own brother out of her life, pushes all her children to stay connected to make that fake good family picture for her so that she can call it "MY children, my way".

@@kristinemajchrzak5222 i can't have pets, i am completely devastated when they die....or generally be worried of the day when they end. It freaks me out that they die so fast. I cant let my children die before me as for parents, same way I feel about my pets.

@@ferrytodd1758 i just put on my Teflon coat when i am with my mom. Plus i constantly remind myself about what this person has done. I don't take her seriously and at this point she knows it. If you did take a narcissist seriously you are just putting yourself through a lot of pain. She is the only narc i can't get rid off.....but the rest i have cut off, lots of so called friends and even relatives.

@@thevindictive6145 When I read what you wrote I felt and sending love to you and I feel the same way exactly

The last time my sister blamed my weight for my health problems, I just replied: I guess, you are right. No answer from her. I'm sure she hoped I was offended or me to defend myself. No. I even smiled while answering, because I knew she was disappointed behind her mobile phone.

Yup I have to meet my BF's ex Sun + she's very narcissistic. I'm terrified BC I have had so much bad exp w ppl like that. I'm so nervous I can't eat or sleep.

Im stuck here. With parkinsons. No family. No much savings. Housing crisis. How do i avoid to become a narcissist? His fleas are all over me and getting me so sick...

@@SouLightness read 48 laws of power

I feel so guilty for saying both things to her that I shouldn’t be saying to a Narcissist

Move into a Car if possible

Move into a Car if possible

That only works for a very short period. They will yell at you and call you pathetic for always agreeing with them or not wanting to fully engage in conversations with your thoughts or opinions. I think you breathing becomes a problem to them. No contact is the healthiest unless you have children together.

The last time I was railed at I finally reached my 77x7th time to forgive. Tired of being "the reason" his life has been such a struggle. Some people think life is what is portrayed in magazines and on the hallmark channel. The rest of us try to do the best we can. Forgiving no longer means I have to accept the accusations.

@@treid1369 They manage. I was discarded many times before I knew what it was. I came back for more abuse. They were entertained, I was confused, overworked, and frustrated. These tactics work for them. They always get their way, though they are not happy people.

So true!

So true😂

i agree....i found out that in time it made me feel better about myself when i manage to stop myself from taking the bait and engage in "communication"...it's not fair that i have to make myself endure the abuse and it makes me angry and frustrated, but at least this way i don't feel as a victim...it even started to boost my self-confidence, since i know the abuser is suffering 'cause she didn't succeed to "make me dance"

If you don't need a career, house, university degrees or economic success it's probably easy to avoid narcissists.

So true . I am observing that a lot . Being a empath I really struggle with ppl these days . Ppl are also loosing basic etiquette.

Agreed, 60 years ago I don’t remember having contact with such toxic personalities.

Look who was our president awhile back ...

I'm sorry. Not 'everyone.' I've found there are still so many HEALTHY* people around us. We gravitate towards the FAMILIAR. So it is on the ones infected by the 'epidemic.' (*CAPS for emphasizing not yelling)

@rosemarieramsingh8749 I couldn't agree more with you! We all need these vital skills to deal with these kind of personalities we come across-some close family members;at work;socially. These should be made available in Formal and Informal Education settings.

Once you see it things can get better ❤ Once you let go of seeking their approval and acceptance, once you realize there's simply no pleasing them so you don't have to care about pleasing them.

P.s. Proud of you!!! 🙌 Happy for you!!! 🎉

Yes, exactly. I experienced that with the covert ex

Very well described

Never call them out. Never call them out on their bad behaviour. Never call them out on their manipulative words. Simply never call them out on anything.

I always say, 'pray to Christ and ask Him what you should say and keep praying till you have an answer'.

My narc’s fav one is “I just said the wrong words.” Or “I formulated that wrong.”

💯 % TRUTH❣️

No blood is not thicker than water. This is a false.

Thank you. 🙏🌹❤️

Thank you ❤❤

Thank you

Good for you. This gives me hope for others I love. Keep trying. Good luck.

Enjoy!

😢

I'm sorry for your loss. Yes you were blessed to have been truly loved & bet can still feel that love. I once had someone who loved me too, but I was young & dumb & threw it away, sadly he is now dead too. But I clung to the knowledge that someone really great loved me & that has gotten me through a lot.

I'm s Catholic and believe in the Golden rule . this Behavior is intotsble😢 I have no patience for the fool S

You can divorce your spouse, but you can't divorce your family. In some cases I would say narcissist family is harder to deal with. I'm sorry for your loss, but I am happy that you found such a wonderful person inspite of narcissist family members (they do like to sabotage things).

Just observe them BC they are dangerous and not too much detail.

You’re lucky that you’re narcissistic person wasn’t a family member. It does suck having to work with one though

I feel like they are everywhere and after the pandemic it’s become an epidemic of narcissism in family systems and on dating apps!

@@SEVENTHREEANDNINE That's exactly what i have been seeing too. It blows my mind.

I wish there more videos on how to deal with narcissistic coworkers and bosses. Im going thru this now and the only advice I get is "find another job" It took me forever to find this position, trust me it aint that easy in this current market to just get another job.

How can anyone love such a useless crybaby? What is there to love? He is the one who doesn't deserve you and he knows it. His strategy is to weaken you and make you crazy with despare so that you will never have enough energy to leave. Next time he starts with the same nonsense just tell him that he is right and that the door is that way.

"was nicer, for awhile." That cycle used to drive me mad. I finally learned to just enjoy the 'good times' when they came. These radical behavioral changes had me thinking dementia, or multiple personality. After seeing Dr. R's videos now I understand.

My narcissistic daughter always wants to have heart to heart conversations. I’m done talking. Words words words mean nothing. Doing the right thing is what matters.

You are right

Yes I agree

You have to keep aware or else beware! High alert but calm & collected. Its exhausting. How do keep from feeling exhausting? Any tips?

@@6reynoldsgajsjk I don't know if this is even possible tbh...

@@6reynoldsgajsjk do things that you enjoy doing. If you don’t know what you enjoy, try painting! You can totally eff up, and paint right over and start again.

The same sister I told him that ot feels like he is drinking my blood😅

YES! They really are vampires!!!!

Congrats! Once u dive in it starts to feel like there are clinical narcissists everywhere! 🥂Cheers & happy healing. 😺

@@jillianmaloney3798 You are right. I figured out that 3 of the closest people to me all have N traits. At least I know how to deal with them now.

@@robinboccia7622 I know how u feel. It’s very difficult when they’re in home or work. But that makes sense there is always more than one bc they seem to stick together. I’ve recently come to understand the term “fleas.” It’s contagious 😹Look out 😹

Jj. NM jjjjjjn

Wonderful to read this. I feel the same and I am just so grateful.

Wow that’s profound. I’m going to save that to write it out sometime if I need it. To ask for what you want but don’t get upset as I won’t be responding to what I think you want but don’t clearly communicate it to me

Well said

That's also how they confuse you! Don't fall for none of their lies, manipulation, or gaslight. They'll say or do anything to get their supply from you.

I wanted to ❤️ your comment but it only has a 👍 button in youtube

I’m gonna use that, thanks! My mother raged at me yesterday, because she was late. I simply did not respond, and she love bombed me the rest of the day. I like your response. I’m going to use either no response or your reply from now on. Although, I can see myself going no contact with my mother.

I have a similar mother. I now just stay away and make excuses to not see or be in touch with her. She’s old now but I do feel for her but I have to look after myself and my family. I have low contact. I stress though if I have to go anywhere near her. She will try to enmesh and get me back into her power web where she controls everything by putting me down. She expects me to fawn like I did when I was a child. I don’t any more. Fighting with these types of people just empowers them and wears me out. Grey rock. It’s not easy - especially if the narcissist is histrionic. It’s difficult not to react to the hysteria but I just try to see her as a child having a tantrum.

You did the right thing I’m glad you’re OK the fact that she rejected you she actually blessed you never mind what other people think that’s their opinion they may not ever get it and that’s OK as long as you get it continue to stay on your healing path and do what’s right for you

My mother and father are the same, and they were severely physically abusive to me during childhood. I’m finally going no contact after 40 years of living. I don’t want them to abuse my children. How do you all handle the anxiety, doubt or stress in your daily life?

@@mrs.salazar5219 I make sure that I have time for me. Quiet reflective time and when I began No Contact, I found meditation helped. I spend time with caring friends. It was tough at first because of the trauma bond but I rarely feel that pull any more. I had to break no contact a month ago because she had a health crisis and was in the hospital. I have power of attorney so I had to be there. I was anxious about seeing her again. Because of all the work I had done and because I had been no contact for 4 years, I was relieved to find that I wasn’t triggered. In fact I was very attuned to all of her games and manipulative tricks and lies. She needed some ongoing assistance and support for 3 weeks, so I went home and developed a plan to provide assistance on my terms. ( what do I really need to be involved with and what can she do on her own with her gaggle of senior friends?) She tried to draw me in to be a full time servant but I refused. I drew boundaries. I think because of the 4 years of no contact, she knew I meant business! So far so good and I rarely hear from her. One of the first therapists I ever spoke to said, “ your mother will always find a way to get her needs met.” Truer words were never spoken!

@@pwhite5411 than you ❤️

Amen!🙏

That was rock bottom or hitting a wall. The only way after this is UP. Stay blessed

Well done. You don't recognize yourself because this damaged individual essentially made you lose yourself. So glad you are ok and away from this turmoil.

@@kathleendubois7128 Thank you so much!! We are all extremely powerful people! 🙂

@@13Hangfire 🙌

Truth! My narcissistic husband picks a fight. Then after being verbally and emotionally abusive tells me I treat him like shit! He projects his behavior on to me! When he is building tension he needs to pick a fight to off load his tension to me.

​@@danakelly2948 going through the same thing. It's so frustrating and difficult. What do you do when he does that?

I’ve had the same experience. While the narc in my life is raging often around others, I would look at him trying to get him to tone it down and get a furious “what are you looking at me like that for”. And off he’d go again now raging at me for looking at him in a way he didn’t like. You can’t win.

Good for you! Once you get to the other side, the peace you will find is indescribable.

Good for you. Honestly you would be better of shucking oysters in peace than that. Enjoy your freedom.

Congratulations

I feel similarly. I now have names for what is going on in my interactions with people. I love being able to speak, if only to myself, about these situations. No one, before Dr R helped with the language and understanding before. And I have worked in healthcare all my life.

I as well can relate, unfortunately life just won't turn around for me yet. I have lost my children myself and anything anyone can take from you. I have unknowingly offered my energy which is filled with love and empathy to anyone that wanted it. I am more than at rock bottom. Know I a facing jail time. I can't wait until some kind of sunshine breaks through. I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH MORE I CAN TAKE!!!! ❤❤❤❤ TO the ones that have made it out!!! 😢❤ to the ones working on it. Be prepared there hovering methods are one of the super powers and if u combine that with love bombing you have yo stand your gard. To the ones that are just learning. I owe my life to Dr. R 100% was going to end it for good and her knowledge and reasonable empathy was my ticket to stay. LEARN LEARN LEARN WRITE IT DOWN PRACTICE GETTING IT DOWN TO THE SOUNDS AND EMOTIONS AND REACTIONS BEING PREPARED. I am trying to start a woman's project to help with what Dr. R HAS GIVEN ME! AND HELP OTHERS SPREAD THE TRURH AND EDUCATION.AND PLEASE. REMEMBER NOT EVERYONE IS THE SAME. WE ALL ARE STILL HUMAN BEINGS IN THE END. LOVE EMPATHY 😢😢😢😢❤❤❤❤

​@@cindynimmo These videos helped me in one critical way--they showed me that I was not crazy.

Totally agree with that, it's terrible to live this way

@@mervyngreene6687 absolutely, but boy do they after they've destroyed you mentally... call you crazy! Make your crazy call you crazy when all along the crazy came from them. Pretty sickening when it's our parents

❤❤❤❤

I find it safer to make boundaries around religion, politics and maybe other topics but definitely no -go on these if the dynamic Needs to stay smooth and operational - think of it as a busy airport, so many people of all backgrounds pass through, but one person gets edgy and possibly frazzled, we need to out to possibly shut down the entire operation out of security- if your neighborhood associate calls for many different backgrounds ( it does) to come together to focus on one goal ( it does) put all the focus on the mission, take out any potential pitfalls !

Wow NPD are soul crushers if I had a wish wish they all left to a 🏝️🏜️ island an the rest of us could be on the other side of the universe . So much of society are cluster B . I wish those who will never be A victim we are strong .

That's se situation for me. As she is forgetting plus my own struggles it became obvious, the entitlement the vulnerable martyr victim stance the criticism and manipulation. All the horrible things. Then all the past became clear the contempt disdain silent treatments etc... my mom was always that way but I didn't see it until I got sick and she started being forgetful. All the toxic before that was so confusing became clear like a light bulb going on? The grief and pain hurt and anger overwhelmed me at the worst possible time. Dr ramani and dr. Carter have been a god send. It's very difficult when it's your mom ✌

I get this!! I was dead inside and would flat out ignore other's really bad behavior. Now I feel too much. or maybe I'm normal? My emotional regulation was definitely damaged by my mom.

@@sarag1158 i learned i have “quiet” bpd and autism so its easier now to understanding my sensitivities and reactions to certain things. opening that door helped me a lot

Growing up with a narcissistic parent I shut down my emotions, safer to do this than to get into trouble. Of course this was damaging to my development and made adult life more difficult.

I don't understand . Your mother lost her memory and become a narcissist?????. That doesn't make sense.

Yeah I have this issue aswell not being able to talk to strangers or trusting ppl easily I wish I could cut them off

We can do it 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾

Staying away from parents who changed your diaper and did everything when you were sick when you were small is a real tragedy. Go back to them before they die.

​@@mirrorreflection3479.... mirrors....not true. It depends. If a person is abusive or mentally ill it may not be safe. 😢

​@@mirrorreflection3479wtf?

Dr Ramani has helped me throughout this thing . I love self too thanks 👍...

Mom and sis narcs? me too! I geel ya!🙄

My mother is also.a narcissist. They rather not tell u your fault so they can continue to abuse u. They want u confused.

Interesting my dh is like that

This is exactly what I experienced with my sister and my mother. I'm so sorry. It sucks so hard. ❤

Similar to "how is it stressful for you?" what I was told: "I can't believe that I could have said something that would upset you so that you asked for time to think things over". You aren't alone. What has helped me is accepting the situation and going Yellow Rock, because the person is a family member.

If you are empathic person my more empathic the harder it is to walk away. We want to help the hurt evil person. But I find Journaling the events you can learn when it about time for there behaviors and it's easier to handle your emotions. And when they start hovering or love bombing you look at your Narc. Calander. And remind yourself of the horrible events so instead of giving in you are staying prepared and strong. It is very very hard. I lost EVERYTHING EVEN MY CHILDREN. Good luck from my soul and heart.

This resonated with me on so many levels! Had almost exact situation with a "friend", and I just completely ghosted her in the end (which I feel terrible about, but I am not good with confrontation, and last time I tried, it ended in us having an enormous falling out, and going no contact for 2-3 years). I love her ...but I have started loving me, a little bit more, and can't handle the covert toxicity.

My narc sister used to revel in tearing me down, diminishing me, belittling me, HURTING ME, even sometimes blatantly in front of family and friends for no reason, other then she's a mean, gigantic, sadistic asshole. In front of family and friends, some of who could see her bullshit and her abusive and toxic behavior toward me. But this bitch; CLUELESS. One day I tried to tell that ignorant skank how she makes me feel and to see if she can manage to muster up some kind of empathy. LOL, I know! Anyhow, I said to the dumb POS that I don't like it when she does that and how'd she like it if someone hurts her and made her feel small for shits and giggles? "Huh?!" "What are you talking about?" " (You have feelings?! But, you're not even a full human being! What? Oh, look! SQUIRREL!) Well, needless to say, she's dead to me. So, so, soooo fucking dead. Best wishes. You got this!

Friends are supposed to be your happy place this person was never a friend she was a bloodsucker she drained the life out of you good riddance you are free and you are allowed to Let Her Go you are allowed to find friends that make you happy and do feel joyful and accept it around they inspire you they make you laugh they enjoy your company and you enjoy theirs

Yes!!!

Same! I felt the same and have actually said this to my ND.

Pray 🙏 for her

Your not alone. My daughter does the same to me 😭

Same for me. What a terrible feeling to see that my own daughter (for whose wellbeing I am responsible) is a monster. My daughter is a master in raising hope in me that she might change, and I believed her over and over again. I am just unable to give up, and it pulls me back to the relationship over and over again.

I have a question, how can a child end up growing up without empathy when one raised them? Perhaps, was the other parent narcisist? I understand empathy is taught / learnt, and normally narcisism is a result of neglect or over indulgence in childhood, at least that's what professionals say. I know my question might seem accusative, but I am more curious as... what should be prevented in the upbringing of a child that cause them to develop those traits in the first place? I understand raising a kid with a narcissistic partner is counter productive and the odds aren't good, but if that's not the case then what could have been?

Resentment is big one. Have to stay on it and have hard conversation with children about where they took offence and hardened their heart into defensiveness. Connect with child in heart centred way discuss their needs and and validate their feelings so they feel heard and validated and not defensive. Talk about forgiveness and encourage them. Pray for them.

Yes! I empathize with you! I really could have used this 10 years ago but never late then never! We got this!

I relate to this, sorry.

Walk away!! Run run run! I mean it!

I’m dealing with a similar situation except the narcissist is my dad and we are co-caregiving for my mom. He has been so awful and if it weren’t for wanting my mom to be taken care of I would walk away.

My mother and mother in law say the same about me. It’s because I don’t let them constantly criticize me, lol. It’s scary how most people please these people, not even thinking about it.

Momma- my brother used the exact same language w me about walking on eggshells and it was total nonsense. Your words helped me. Projection!

my ex said he was sick of walking on eggshells with me and i was so confused because anytime i got upset, it was in direct normal emotional health response to HIS cruelty (awful accusations and constant belittlement). when i explained to him he is being cruel, he told me i need better coping mechanisms like he has and if i just knew how to cope w adversity as great as he does, none of this would hurt. he also told me he isn't yelling at me, he is "raising his voice" and not being allowed to do so makes him feel disrespected / unheard. my final straw was him being 42 liking bikini photos of a 19 year old girl online. again, when i made the mistake of pointing this out to him, he said it's my own insecurity that sees it as a bad thing. i said i am 37, i cant be insecure over a 19 year old... my gosh. no amount of explaining how creepy and predatory this action made him look would he accept. once i caught on to his real self, i researched him and found a sexual assault case, intent to harm a child, physical assault, etc. this all from a guy who is a self proclaimed "male leader" and "defender of the defenseless" vegan advocate.

@@louisav11 oh my. I read your story and it resonated with me , i am just shocked as it is very similar. I met a guy few months before. I now after 4 months came to visit him in another country. He accused me of strange things amd bellittle me I started crying and left. When I finally said he crossed my boundaries he asked ' what boundaries ? You do not have any. You should work on your communication skills as you cannot handle our conversation well'. I am just shocked what i am experiencing here. All the charm which was held on the phone is gone in the morning . Happy in the evening. Maybe it is work stress or what but I just cannot believe how he talk to me now.

I found it puzzling when my friend said he felt like he was 'walking on eggshells ', when we were the ones dealing with his frequent daily loud cussing and raging rants (at other drivers on the road) and at home. He said he couldn't be himself around us (me and my son). Turns out he wanted a Life style of doing drugs, cuss and have sex whenever it pleases him. He stated; "I do what I want, when I want, how I want... regardless who's around"! Who says that? I guess that was the first red flag.

Perfectly said!! My narc is 18 years older than me. It's hard he is smart!! Thank you for your strength. I wonder how many people are the same as me stuck because of completely giving up my whole self and have no resources that understand or will help.

@@endtheabusen78 , no, you do have the resources- inside of yourself . Start remembering the things you used to like , but gave up because the narcissist discouraged you from doing them . For me that was dancing, knitting, listening to music, even reading the newspaper. You say he is smart- that might be something he made you believe, because narcissists are pretenders. First of all you need positive energy to re establish your emotional stability, I was fortunate to have a therapist but nature, religion , meditative music, maybe leaving the narcissist can help. Best wishes and do not give up.

@@endtheabusen78 Go within, so you don’t go without ❤