Tell no one your personal business. Give the narcs zero information to use. Do not react to any type of psychological attacks. DO NOT ARGUE. LEAVE ANY SITUATION AT THE FIRST SIGN OF ANY TROUBLE. DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.

When you no longer care what narcs think or say you are free

I have definitely noticed how the cruelness escalates if the response they expected is not happening.

Baiting can also look like kindness in a public space around loved ones, where you are in a position to look ungrateful or even mean if you don’t respond well enough to the gesture

"Anything you say can & WILL be used against you". The Miranda Warning isn't given by narcissists.

Happy Mothers day to all the motherless daughters of Narc mothers. I see you here, and it comforts me to know I'm not alone!

The baiting is perfectly matched to your “triggers” so you MUST become very aware of your triggers and heal that within yourself so that they cannot bait you anymore. I rarely take the bait any longer and when I do, I go and do my work on myself.

Dr. Ramani, thank you for your videos. I was married to a narcissist but didn’t understand it. For 5 months I lived in the basement (after 27 years of marriage) to avoid him. In desperation I searched the Internet for help and found you. You saved my life! I am now divorced and slowly healing. Still watching your videos and learning.

When I react to false accusations, the narc inevitably comes back with, “you don’t have to get defensive”. 😡 Possibly one of the most triggering, gaslighting statements a narc can deliver.

I am getting the best education on narcissism. First, by having my family engage in all the narcissistic tactics, then by having Dr Ramani explain what it was all about.

You ever feel like your just chilling and suddenly its mood shift time and you are now being bombarded with projected insecurity and anger.

The narcissist fighting to regulate themselves is so unbelievably messed up. It completely changes my perspective. They went from really hard to deal with, to serious mental health cases.

Kept silence when my brother was doing his narcissistic rage, gaslighting, lying, word salad, blame shifting, and projection. I've never seen a person do them all in a row at rapid speed. I wish I had a video of it. It was truly something to behold, and I've never seen a more apparent example. As an infj, saw absolutely no reason to speak, as he already knew he was lying, I knew he was lying, and anyone who knew anything at all about me would have known he was lying. At this point, I wait for him to expose himself to someone or at somewhere that he will not be able to lie enough to escape the truth.

Starting at 19:52 is exactly the progression of how a customer tried to bait me at work last night. Went through all these phases to try to get me to react to her so she could argue with me and be "right" and acted like a giant toddler throwing a tantrum the more I refused to take the bait and flatly replied "okay" to everything she tried to throw at me, to the point the customers in line behind her stood up for me and told her she was being unreasonable and rude and tried to point out the situation to which she then flew into screaming at them and saying very mean things to them. Coworkers around the store came by to make sure everything was okay with the commotion she was making. Little did this woman know, I grew up and worked with major narcissists my whole life and have been educating myself on how to better handle them. Sorry, 3 year old in a 55 year old woman's body - not gonna take that bait.

The last relationship I had was with a narcissist. 2 years after I literally kicked him out of my house (and he tried to convince the cops that he, not I, owned it!), he came up to me in a grocery and loudly exclaimed: "Let's let bygones be bygones!" and spoke for at least a long 2-3 minutes! I was amazed that I was able to keep reading labels and comparing products. He finally walked away exclaiming: "Just be that way then. I feel sorry for anybody that lives their life like you do!" Of course, the busy-body gossips were all staring and whispering among themselves as I shopped. I was surprised that I didn't care until I realized the relief which I was feeling! I was able to not respond in any way - no comment, no shrug, no look. I just continued doing what I was doing as if he was not there. I admit, too, that I am proud of myself for being able to do it after spending a lifetime trying to get over the effects of a family of narcissists. I also finally realized that I was attracted to narcissists because they were familiar, all that I knew. I guess I thought everyone acted this way! I only wish I had cut ties with my toxic birth family sooner. Like at 21. It would have saved much wasted time, energy, and health - and relationships.

I still remember my narcissistic mother’s taunting me to make me upset and then her delight: “You can dish it out but you can’t take it”

Calling the police can work against you as the narc will manipulate them, giving you the appearance of being the abuser.

One of the hardest things I have ever experienced is holding back from reacting to baiting!

My narcissistic brother died last month. My narcissist mother called me to let me know. I had only talked to her once in 12 years. As soon as I answered, she told me he died, then immediately went into a line of deeply personal questioning about my life, when I told her I wasn't answering personal questions, she went into a hateful and angry tirade, and I hung up on her. This reminds me of the birthday baiting you speak about in this video. I appreciate your videos, they have helped me understand what is going on in my life, and giving me some tools to help keep Dark Triad people at bay in my life, and I am an absolute magnet to them.

In long-term marriage with covert narcissist husband - just figuring it out, with Dr. Ramini's help, after all these years . What is helping me now is to say to myself when I'm around him that this is a person who will throw you under the bus with hesitation or compunction. This thought helps me not to share with him anything but the most mundane, practical matters of living in the same house.. God bless you, Dr. Ramini! You are saving lives with your work!

So much to unpack. We give away the keys to our souls. It's the most cruel form of slavery.

Easier said than done, but don’t take the bait! It won’t lead you anywhere good.

A lesson learned by me is only tell people what they need to know. Otherwise, you run the risk of it being used against you by these individuals at a time when you really need friends, not enemies 💯

🕊️ Wishing peace of mind, spirit and body to all who are/were dismissed, devalued, discarded, neglected, or traumatized by their narcissistic mother. Whoever and wherever you are please KNOW you are loved, you do matter, and the world needs you. ❤

Thank you for explaining this because now I know why my mother gets so rage filled in the car and just starts spewing lava at me for no apparent reason at all. I new something was up when her new baiting strategy was throwing my father death in my face and going on a conspiracy about how it was probably because he was using heroin again. When she saw I wasn’t reacting, she acted like there was something wrong with me and then apologized in her “sorry not sorry way.” Maybe the best way to go about this is to mentally think how fascinating it is to see insanity in action.

*I relate to this HARD. I have a narcissistic sister who will say and do things to deliberately provoke you just for the fun of it. She almost gets a kick out of getting under peoples skin. Thank you so much for this video Dr Ramani🙏🏻💕*

I went through 2 therapists, before I found one that gets it. He was the first person to tell me I had a narcissist mother. Mother's Day is the worst, but I know things now. I think of her not as a mother, but as this elderly psych patient I help out. I no longer give her any useful personal information and I am learning to set boundaries.

Absolutely. I am divorcing a covert narc, and he is using every single thing against me in this divorce, claiming I am and unfit mother, have mental health issues, am not capable of having health relationships, and have manipulated our children against him (they've seen enough to know he is not a safe person and they're old enough to make their own choices). He's verbally and emotionally abused myself and both our children and is continuing to do so. It is a nightmare. He is evil. I can't wait until this is done.

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there - especially Dr. Ramani - and to those of us who had to deal with narcissistic moms. I can now proudly state that I’m in the final phase of closing off my relationship with my narcissist mother. I have gone to “yellow” rock stage with her, and she has no choice but to try to bait me. I t means she understands that she no longer has the same power over me. Her attacks are now ugly insults and complaints about minor issues, because I no longer share anything important with her. Her personal attacks have lost the affect she intends: they’ve become less annoying and mores a source of amusement. I couldn’t have gotten here without you, Dr. Ramani! 💕

One of the ways my husband used to bait me was by playing dumb. He would ask me the same question multiple times in different ways. This caused me to feel frustrated and irritable, so I would snap after his acting as if he had misunderstood me after so many times of asking me the same question! Now I recognize much of the sheer manipulation of that relationship. This realization will help me screen better for all future relationships!

My ex-husband used to provoke in any way he could, and then turn around and say I had "anger issues." So, whenever he flew in to narcissistic rage, the first thing I did, with a calm smirk that I learned from someone was say, just as he would, "Oh my gosh, you have such anger issues!" It did stop him in the moment but- as most narcissists will do, he just eventually came up with some other tactic.

A friend once told me that if you're in a car with a narcissit (or anyone else that makes you uncomfortable), pretend to get car sick. They will pull over because no one wants vomit in their car. 🤣

Thanks so much for this one, I really needed it today. I'm being baited right now and it's tough. I especially needed reminding that in a relationship with a narcissist, I can't win. It makes it so much easier to just work on protecting myself and taking care of myself when I remember that, and stop looking for a way to make my narcissist behave in a non-narcissistic way.

This was so hard when I was growing up, getting baited by my mother, and her little narcissists-in-training, my siblings. I'm no contact with the lot of them now, OBVIOUSLY, so they have to be satisfied with making up and spreading nasty rumors about me. Wish I'd had the self-control to ignore them but they just kept ratcheting it up until I cracked and then they would accuse me of having a bad temper and being hard to get along with. If I dared complain I was told to grow up and ignore them, instead of them being told to knock it off. Thank you so much for this video - it's really helped me to understand what was going on.

My ex just sent me a happy Mother’s Day text to me “accidentally”. I was a step mom to those neglected children for 3 years. I know they are on the worst path possible- 10 years old and self harming etc. I stayed in that relationship longer to try and help them. Having children is a tender spot for me and I wasted 3 years on this man. I needed this video so much today. Thanks Dr Ramini

OMG, the birthday baiting really hit home! Once my sister and I (twins) were sharing an apartment and we knew my narc mom was going to call on our birthday, which we dreaded. We both decided to just not answer the phone because we wanted a peaceful birthday. She got so enraged (under the guise of "worry") that she contacted the upstairs neighbor (how she got her phone number we will never know since we didn't even know them) and pulled such a sob story that they left a note up on our door "maybe you should call your mom." We were so embarrassed!

And if you are strong enough to resist the "bait", then they will be grumpy and moody and guilt trip you for not taking the bait and letting them "win"... (from experience)...(you can't win...)

This channel has changed my life ❤ Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

Baiting IS insidious. 🔥🔥🔥 Thank you for explaining it. Narcissists are so insecure.

They love to get on the phone and pretend they and someone else is talking about you, and if you confront them, they lie. Sometimes they say the name of the other person, and when you ask the other person later, that person is legitimately confused and says that they were never upset with you.

DO NOT LET THEM WIN. THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT. YOU FELL INTO THE TRAP AND REACTED NEGATIVELY. DO NOT ENGAGE OR GET ANGRY OR AFRAID. WALK AWAY. LEAVE THEM STANDING THERE WITH NO ONE TO ABUSE. I HAD ONE WOMAN TRY THIS ON ME AND THEN RUN AND CALL THE COPS. THEY HOPE YOU WILL THEN FIGHT WITH THEM. THE NARC GOT JOY FROM DOING THIS. THEY LOSE WHEN YOU DON'T PLAY.

Thank you, Dr. Ramani, so much!! All of your videos have helped me so much in understanding years of narcissistic abuse. Stay strong fellow humans!!

For all those with mandatory family loyalty-- in other words forced relationships due to birth, marriage / relations: "Blood is thicker than water" is a bastardization of the full quote-- "The blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb." Those who stand by you, who shed blood in battle beside you they are your family. Bonds of loyalty and choice are stronger than mere genetics.

The part about doing it so often in the car when you're trapped was so dead on. She'd wait until the middle of a long drive, and just start laying into me for all the ways she thinks I'm garbage. It was really effective at cutting me off from our entire social group, because I didn't want the abuse I'd receive at the end of the night on the ride home, and sometimes even on the way there.

I really appreciate this video. I have gone 'no contact's with my family for almost a year now. I have just been through a 'birthday sabotage" in the form of a voicemail that starts, not with happy birthday but"I remember giving birth to you..." then how frail and deprived... Then tears and accusations AND messages from flying monkeys telling me to call as they are so worried about me. Except that when the phone rang and I saw who was calling, I had a panic attack and decided there was no way I would let them upset me on my day. Since then I keep having to talk myself out of reoccurring thoughts that I am being selfish and I am only imagining the narcissistic tactics. I am grateful to have this confirmation that I am making healthy choices here. Thank you!

I still think it's worse when it's a parent. My narc mom ruins holidays still even after 13 years of no contact.

I wish I had found your series decades ago. My sister has been doing this for literally years and decades. The victim, the Matryr. There´s always some drama she can´t cope with and drags me in to it. Decades ago it was her kids, her finances, her ex, her job. And because you´re family and are supposed to be supportive you try to offer support and advice. And then you get "what´s it got to do with you/they´re not your kids" etc etc. So you walk away. And then there´s something else. In the last 3 years and through covid, our dad died of cancer. All through that, she was complaining about running errands for them and shouting and screaming about it, knowing full well that they couldn´t get out of the house and that I live in another country and couldn´t leave the country because there were literally no flights as the borders were closed. But still, "you should be here!" yet neither of our parents have ever once asked me to go back, they knew why I left and were happy and proud of me for making the break. It got so bad with her complaining that even Dad said to her not to go anymore and they would hire some help if she was going to be like that, even though he was dying. And she even lied to my dad on his death bed, told him I should be able to just jump on a plane and get there, knowing full well that I couldn´t. A surreptitious way of trying to make herself look better I guess. Mum told her herself about it and was pretty disgusted with my sister. And it´s continued since Dad died, with mum, despite her having had several strokes and being very frail. gaslighting her, saying she´s losing her mind when she clearly isn´t, but has lost her ability to speak properly. Screaming at mum all the time instead of having any empathy with her. It´s just such toxic behaviour. I had an online meeting just yesterday with Mum and a speech therapist in which mum expressed her wishes, and the therapist went through a series of questions to ensure that Mum knew the risks, and we established that she did understand everything without any prompting. I was basically involved to support mum in her choices, and I don´t mind admitting that I cried afterwards, because it could mean we lose mum soon. But she is just so tired of it all now. But yet my sister said the night before that Mum didn´t understand, doesn´t have mental capacity. And sure, she does a fair bit for mum, but Mum is in a care home now and being well looked after. But still my sister complains endlessly. And if there´s bigger stuff, legal stuff to sort out, she calls me. And then has the audacity to say to some stranger, "my brother thinks he knows everything and likes to take over" but yet in the next breath, she wants me to take over. And If I can figure a way to be there for a few months, I will. And "relieve her of duty" At least then Mum might get some peace in her last few months, although I can guarantee she still won´t back off or stop complaining. And then after mum is gone, she will do the "oh I miss her so much" on facebook, just like she does with Dad. I guess the very fact that i´m even commenting here shows that what my sister does, especially regarding my mum triggers me, but it´s good to have some professional advice on this. So thanks for that. The best thing I ever did for myself was years ago, when I left my home country and went travelling for 6 months, but didn´t have a mobile phone and the internet was hardly even a thing. So I called my mum once a week from a landline to let her know where I was, and that was it. Almost zero contact with anyone back there. And after Mum has passed, I will be doing that again, but this time, for good. Because I´m so tired of it all too.

These videos are like a fan blowing the cloud of narcissistic control away to clear my vision. Thank you so much

You described my entire childhood like you were there. 😢❤

Living this right now. Staying strong thanks to your years of advice Dr. Ramani. You truly are amazing and are saving so many.

The birthday baiting is soo true. Recently got a Ramadhan baiting under the context that it’s the “month of forgiveness .” Interesting that they use special holidays to hoover you back in.

You’ve no idea how validating this video is for me. My ex husband used to do the exact that and then just sit and watch me. How cruel is that!! He’d poke me even more when I would start crying, few times I ended up pushing him and he called me a crazy! I don’t know how I actually survived for almost 10 years with 2 small kids. I’m so glad I didn’t fall for his love-bombing when I asked for a divorce!!!

Happy Mother's day for helping ABUSED mother's Doc

Once you learn, what your dealing with you know the consequences if you take the bait, it's like it's mind over matter,think things through because for every action there's a consequence 👍 thanks Dr RAMANI and Happy mother's day everyone 🙏

I endured a lot of baiting disguised as concern. Your videos are tremendously validating. The worst is trying to exit a bait heavy conversation only to be followed and harassed. My mother would follow me to my room and harass me through the door, or follow me outside to harass me as I got into my car to leave. Relentlessly terrible

So right on time, for me! My sister has been group text baiting me for a week and a half. Several times I have typed up a response and not sent it. She’s so mean, and dishonest. Thank you for posting this. I needed the reinforcement. 🙏

It's not about you...it is about how someone tries "dismantle" what you are all about. *my brother and his wife sent me an xmas gift. he texted me, hey did you get our gift? i replied, no i actually recently moved. he was angry at me for not telling him i moved. he cares about getting me to thank him; not about oh, why did you move or are you okay.

Wow I never realized that what I was experiencing had a name. Birthday baiting....AGAIN THANK YOU FOR TAKING TIME TO PRODUCE SUCH CONTENT THAT HELPS ME AND OTHER SURVIVORS OF NARCISSISTS GAIN USEFUL TOOLS TO DEFEND OURSELVES AGAINST THESE BEHAVIORS AND INSULTS. YOUR TEACHINGS KEEP US SAFE AND HEALTHY! THANK YOU, MY HATS OFF TO YOU DR. R. YOU ARE BRILLIANT!!!! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! PEACE AND BLESSINGS!

Thank you for adding the last part of this video of what is NOT baiting. I had a friend that wanted to hear only positive things. If she mentioned something she wanted to do and I shared a perspective on it, she would think I was raining on her parade. I was being gentle and transparent. Here's an example. Fact. This friend can't stand doing paperwork. She told me this. So one day she said she wanted to go back to school for a 4th major. First it was anthropology. Then it was massage therapy. Then it was farming. And now it was Psychology she wanted to go back to school to take. I could see a bit of jumping around. Not my business. But the debt was keeping her shackled and now she was going to add more debt. As a friend, I was gentle and honest and encouraged that she ask people who are in the field of psychology about the amount of paperwork that it usually entails. I said this to bring up and tie together the fact that she hates doing paperwork. She snapped at me and told me not to rain on her parade and not to discourage her. I'm like WHAT?! I wasn't trying to discourage her. It's the truth...most of the time when you're involved in the field of psychology there are lots of notes to be written. I know close people who work in the field and that's what they tell me....lots of notes. My own brother used to stay up late doing notes. It's a thing. Because I know she loves to read, I mentioned that psychology could be learned from books and there wouldn't be any debt or notes to do. Hopefully she would research it first before jumping in. Some people don't want to hear other perspectives. I didn't say Don't Do it. I was saying...think it over. She felt like I was one of those narcissists that tries to bring you down when you share an idea. It wasn't that. A narc doesn't try to help you and save you from yourself.

My son’s father is really good at baiting. I’m still learning, and healing. Thank you Dr. Ramani you’re really helping me cope and realize I’m really not crazy after all.

My Narc Mom, @ 14 years old, bought me cigs. One day I asked for one. She had a camera set up... She provoked me & I reacted; she blew smoke in my face whilst refusing me one & I got angry, but tried to leave the house... (My Narc Mom does diagnoses for a living...) My mom got on top of me & wouldn't let me leave. My dad got home & called the cops. I was put in a mental institution (erroneously diagnosed with bipolar thanks to mommy dearest) & forced to go to NA. I thought I was forced into NA bec I was addicted to cigarettes.... @ 40 years old, my dad told me that my mom said I was on LSD @ age 14, which was why I didn't show up positive for drugs or alcohol. This lie amongst many other lies my Mom has told definitely ruined my life... Both of my parents are incredibly wealthy... My Narc Mom is with the same multimillionaire, who also went to Harvard, that she cheated on my dad with... 42 years Old. On Disability. Alone & Homeless... My Narc Mom almost won...- Happy Mother's Day, Mommy Dearest! BTW... I quit smoking cigarettes 2.5 years ago! Dr. Ramani, thanks from the bottom of my heart for your videos. The beginning of my healing journey ... Thanks! Perfect video for me personally on Mother's Day!

Happy mothers’ day Dr. Ramani! You have shed so much light on all these confusions, having a narc father and an enabling flying monkey mother. You are literally describing my life in most of your videos. I am still struggling in my 30s to heal from the deeply rooted damage and now slowly trying to understand all of these to come out of the misery. Thank you Much love ❤

Perfect that this video landed on Mother's Day. I'm low contact/gray rock with my elderly narc mom who is in assisted living. I see her every other week to manage her meds and bring her stuff. In between she often sends belligerent or passive-aggressive emails that I ignore and delete. But I make a point to keep it civil, even cordial when I visit her. This week I brought her some flowers for Mother's Day (no card). She sent me an email saying "Thank for the nice flowers...you didn't have to do that though. I know how you feel about me. Sorry you have to visit me so often." She can't just say "thank you" and leave it at that. Always got to get a dig or two in.

I needed this a few hours ago. I realized my family was toxic about a yr ago. Until you know you think things are "normal" They set me up today. I'm done. They'll figure it out when they never hear from me again. #distanceoverdisrespect

Yes, it is tough not to react to tactics but it will get easier for you each time you reserve yourself and maintain your limits. Take care of yourself, hang in there, move forward as soon as you can. Keep your plans to yourself. ♥

My psychologist told me that my friend and I had a wonderful friendship and that I shouldn't stop seeing her because of her lashing out at me with the most intimate and vulnerable thing I have, which is my mental illness. Like, what? How can I still be friends with someone who uses my worst weakness against me? That's not a friend, that's and enemy to keep away.

It's funny because the examples you gave about what's NOT baiting are exactly the type of things that the narcs think we do to piss them off. And we are just walking around living our lives 😂

I could write a book on the things I’ve witnessed over the years. As soon as you said birthday every single birthday, Mother’s Day, anniversary, Valentine’s Day and Christmas popped into my head. The guilt I’m left feeling because I’d like to be surprised or thought of without all the drama, I’d rather just skip every one of those days than actually have the negative horrible feelings I’m left with. It got so bad at one point I stopped letting the good parts be the highlight. I dread those days when it comes to me, I know what’s coming.

Dr. Ramani understands narcissist so well. I don't know anyone describe narcissist in words as well as you do. I always can't explain how nasty they are to me.

Coming from a place where I have gone through most of this, It's always a relief to receive Confirmation about what has happened in my life. Thank you So Much Dr. Ramani. You have been placed here from Above, No Doubt as your videos are like the emotional lidocaine to the raw open wounds... knowledge really is power. Thank you Dr. Ramani ❤

This is EXACTLY how it goes. SICK GAMES. It's so textbook, thank you for understanding how it is for victims. Thank you for validating our experiences, and offering counsel.

Another thing that an ex-narcissistic friend who has discarded you will do on social media is the tag other people on topics, or perhaps their own birthday party, and will conspicuously leave you out. They know you will notice this.

Oh my goodness that’s exactly what my mum did to me the other day after I sent a “grey rock” response to one of her “Look at me, your brother & my grandchildren having a wonderful time” texts (incl photos). The next text was a bait & so cruel towards my wife. When that was ignored she turned up outside our house & sat in the car for 3hrs waiting for me to come out. She’s 85 & the level of narcissistic abuse towards me is still shocking. Expected but shocking. I didn’t bite but I was raging inside & the rumination quelling is exhausting

Laugh at their provoking and realize only insecure people bully

A narci is very image conscious. They always are aware of who is watching and always will try to frame themselves in the best light and, if you are a problem, they will frame you in the negative. Sometimes this is done very subtly.

OMG! I have been a listener for about a month now. This message is the best! Thank you for being on social media. I am beginning to heal!

Happy mother's day Dr. Ramani, thanks for making me sane with your books and videos, I wish nothing but the best in life for you. I wish your books came in other languages so I could share them with my family members that don't speak english.

Such an important video. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the time you take to share all this free of charge

You're always so spot on. I can think back to so many arguments with my ex-wife where she would try to label me with something because of how I would react to her over the top remarks. It was so emotionally exhausting to deal with and I would begin to believe her. I would tell couples therapists that I didn't think it was true, but it was too late because she already got to them and they didn't know how to deal with a N. After being separated for 10 years, I have never felt the same way I did in those arguments. I have learned to recognize when someone is being manipulative and disingenuous and be true to myself.

Thank you. I needed this so much. They are impossible to get through to they take every opportunity to hurt you and cause division among other family members. So toxic. I just want to get away from it.

Dr. Ramani I can't tell you how much your words and education on narcissism has helped me continue moving forward and given me a little hope and I hope that my two little boys can survive their father as well. Thank you

I appreciate this video so much! I am divorced from the narcissist but we share children. The baiting tactics have switched up often. The most recent one is to send me compliments about how wonderful of a parent I am or wishing me a happy birthday. Also “playdates” with the moms of my children’s friends. I don’t respond because it has absolutely nothing to do with our children - which is the only reason any communication is required among us. I would like to know if anyone else has experienced something similar.

I fully came to terms 100% that I've been dating a narcissist for 2 years. The hunch turning into a full blown knowing is heart breaking, eyeopening, liberating, and empowering all at the same time. One time, during a heated argument, where I was in total distress with tears streaming down my face, I asked him what he even got out of being in a relationship with me, and without missing a beat, he responded w "thats none of ur damn business!" At the time, I was stunned and confused at that answer. But, It makes a whole lot of f*****g sense now. God I feel bamboozled

You addressed the ebb and flow of leaving a narc relationship. Thank you!! It is difficult mines family and they’re all I have here. He beat the crap out of me last week. Their is no safety in a relationship like this!!

Thank you Dr.Ramani. I have began complete distancing and these birthday and holiday episodes are still difficult for me. Listening to this vid deepened my understanding, so thankful you posted it.

My Narc mom does this to my poor scapegoat brother. And somewhat me as well. Power exactly.

I am such a trusting person, for a while. When I am intentionally harmed I go into full tactical self-defense mode. Not my first rodeo. I do not even like to use the restroom with the door shut at home due to previous trauma. When you spoke about being in a car and isolated with that person it makes me... terrified in red and yellow heat. I sequester to my "nest of safety". People do not get it unless they get it. Period. Makes it hard to explain why you cannot go out freely. Thank you so much for the strength to help me get through this chapter of my life. Much love and merry holiday wishes to you and yours, my distant friend.

They'll push and shove without respite to get that reaction from us. It's important to forgive yourself if you do react - it's a natural reaction to being bulldozed relentlessly by a monster. Non-reaction is a learning process and sometimes we might slip. Perfectly understandable, perfectly human.

God bless your knowledge Dr Ramani. Thanks for sharing! Happy mothers day to all. ✨🙏✨

My sister had accused me of being a narcissist (among other things). I wasn't sure what exactly that was, so here I am researching and learning so much. I have to contact her as she is living with our elderly Mother. I am learning so much and recognize her baiting me now. I am using the gray rock technique and she has stepped it up, so far. I carry my little gray pebble when I visit now to remind me to stay strong and not engage. I still draw the line where she becomes physical. It's tough, but videos like this give me hope for a way out. Unfortunately I will probably have to endure her abuse until Mom has passed on and I can then go no contact. Stay strong, These people only have the power that we supply. peace

I recently experienced some extreme baiting after they discarded me when I set a boundary and I realized that I keep finding myself back in that type of situation because there’s some life lesson that I haven’t learned yet. I did a lot of self reflecting and realized, it will keep happening unless I learn to become „immune“ to their abuse and the baiting (or at least act like it to them) And I suddenly wasn’t so scared of them anymore, cause I knew that they had no real power over me anymore. Unfortunately that made them more and more angry to the point where they verbally and physically assaulted me, unfortunately I had no witnesses and I still had to live with that person at the time so I knew I would put myself in additional danger, cause police wouldn’t have done anything, or at least there would be no consequences for her in the foreseeable future, and at that point she was actively trying to do as much harm to me as possible, so I just tried to stay safe as a first priority. I did get her evicted though, so now without the immediate threat constantly around, I can start thinking about my possibilities…

Well, you literally just cleared up last night’s phone conversation for me! Thank you xx I thought I had a handle on it all by now, but again, I got blindsided, and now I know I was being baited! I did manage to keep fairly calm, and the longer I stayed calm the worse the things he was saying got. When I started getting upset though, he revealed some of the ways he was keeping tabs on me🤷‍♀️seems he wastes much more time than I do, thinking and talking about me since I finally got him out of my house in January!

This is so eye-opening, I feel so validated. I have spent all weekend educating myself, it has been 7+ years of questioning my reality and my sanity. Baiting is his weapon of choice, he is so vicious. Every time I gain the upper hand in an argument (or god forbid walk away) then begins the relentless spewing of all of my darkest insecurities in the cruelest way. I realize now he sees emotion and vulnerability as weakness, and weaponizes my private secrets as premium bait. I have given in countless times, given into the chaos that makes me look like the out-of-control, unhinged villain.. playing right into his trap to let him start playing the victim.. but this will NEVER happen to me again. Thank you so much-- I have a lot of healing to do but I am now equipped to know how to handle future situations with this person.

Narcissist parenting style- make the little child cry and then tell them shouldn’t be crying 😢

As soon as it starts, I scan my head real fast , I ask what does dr. Ramani say! First thing is don’t react! I have no supports my whole life I’ve attracted narcissists, it’s starts in childhood then I thought it was normal. If you are lost in a narcissistic life cycle I’d highly recommend to follow Dr. Ramani . Thank goodness she’s willing to share so much.

Reminds me of two movies: “Fatale” & “Fatal Attraction”, where the stalking woman gets more and more dangerous as her obsession escalates!

Ong staying calm when a narcissist is baiting you works like a dream. 😂 Seriously, i have a narc family member and when we call the family meeting to deal with all the problems we were experiencing (due to her triangulating) we did this. I told everyone to stay calm no matter what. We did and she literally through her bible scripture and notes on the ground and stomped and cried. She had to be escorted out of the room by her son twice just to calm her down. It was glorious. Ever since then I have no problem staying calm. Just sit back, relax and enjoy the show. 😂

This is so good and true! Thanks for your videos. I have found the more I didn’t respond to putting my friends down or whatever and just ignored the comments, or when I began questioning them , they backed down. I realize this is not always the case and this situation was not a romantic partnership, a friend.

thank you so much for your channel and all your work. I binge watched a ton of your videos in preparation for Mother’s Day and I had a really good breakthrough today. You’re helping to change lives! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

You are brilliant! And so generous to share this all with us. We thank you.❤ SO grateful! This is tough stuff. Yes being forewarned is forearmed. THX!