This was like a dad listening to his child come home from daycare and tell him everything he did that day.

Bert's sudden awareness of his party snitching, immediately followed by continuing to party snitch is what I'm here for.

I feel like Bert has these “wake up call” moments like twice a month.

Has anyone ever noticed how Tom is slowly treating Brent more and more like an R-worded cousin with each episode?

I love that a couple episodes ago they talked about making Bort more fashionable and he shows up today looking like this

Bert on JRE: "I never drink in the morning." Bert on 2 bears: "I had shot of tequila yesterday at 9 AM" 🤣🤣🤣

Someone PLEASE compile everytime Bart says he's gonna be "jacked" or "lose weight". It's gotta be somewhere around 75 hours worth of clips! 🤣

I'm just glad that Bert is finally coming out of his shell and we can learn more about him.

Bret: Trying to explain in a span of five hours about what type of hat he wants Tom: ”Foooo that was exhausting” 🤣🤣🤣

That jersey really brings out the alcoholic in Bert's face

I used to laugh with joy at this show. It's now a more nervous laughter for Bert. Damn dude

Tom's subtle roasts that go right over Berts head kill me everytime hahaha. "You have the coolest stories"

Burnt sounds UH-HUNDRED percent like a coke head in this episode.

Bert's facial swelling is directly correlated with his hat size. He thinks, if he puts on a big enough hat, it will dwarf the size of his face.

I'm 280lbs, but I have just about the same measurements as Bart. I really have to reevaluate my health since I'm so similar to Brentt as far as health goes. I go to doctors and get the same response he does where they have no idea how my blood work is perfect. If I needed motivation to get healthier, it's this episode.

No way Brent goes from consistently throwing up in his throat to being jacked in one month

Bert's next tour should be named "I'm throwing up everywhere"

Tim: I’m Coming Everywhere. Bart: I’m Drinking Everyday.

Bert saying he likes Tom for his eye thing he does when he’s annoyed because only he sees it. Meanwhile Tom does it every episode to the camera about Bert 😂

Bert: "nobody knows how to tell a story" Also Bert: *takes 10 minutes to tell a 2 minute story*

Bert is living up to an old Texas saying: All Hat, No Cattle

Little does Bert know… Tom shoots Bert those irritated eyes every episode.

So today I learned Bert almost suffocates himself in his sleep on a regular basis. Great episode.

Bert’s list of eating and drinking habits is starting to sound more and more like Rogan reading Hunter S. Thomson’s journal

Blart: talks about how terrible he's been living for months and months. Blart 3 minutes later: talks about how he's on a "health kick."

The bigger the hat, the closer Bret is to meeting his maker.

I love how Brett is always just on the cusp of getting really buff... keep living your truth Brent!

We need an episode where all of Bert’s bus mates speak the truth to all Barts lies.

Barnts breath control is amazing, due to the nonstop word diarrhea. He's just so excited about everything. COOOOOOL

In case he hasn't mentioned it before, Bert DOES NOT CHEAT ON HIS WIFE!!

i know this is what every episode is like but holy hell does Bert know how to bulldoze a conversation

You can see literally zero muscle when Bert is "flexing" 😂🤣

gaslighting bert making him believe he looks fit at all 😂 man was flexing glad bags of butter

Burp looks like a bearded dodge ball in a Mountie hat.

Bert “I like Tom for the things no one sees.” Tom immediately looks into camera doing the exact thing Bert thinks only he sees.

I love that only Bert gets to enjoy Tom shooting eyes when Tom hears something dumb/outrageous… Don’t tell Bert 😂

I had a dream the other day that I met Bruce. In the dream he talked so much and was so exhausting it actually woke me up.

Jesus I’d love to hear the end to one of Toms stories before Bert derails it.

I saw Bert last week in San Antonio when he just got that hat. We couldn’t see his face the whole show 😂 Looks like someone told him after the show to stop wearing it

Bert: Epic rant about Hats Tom: “That was exhausting” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

while berts story is fucking hilarious, i hope he gets his shit together soon dudes burning the candle at both ends with a fucking blow torch lmfao

is there some deal Timmy signed with the devil where the better he gets/looks the worse Barf gets?

I wish I had Berts confidence and Toms honesty.

It's like he's physically turning into Santa.

" that was exhausting" -Tim Basically sums up the whole episode

I would be genuinely interested to see a word count for each of them per episode.

This show is becoming an ethical experiment. How much enjoyment can be derived from watching two very funny friends have hilarious conversations as one of them slowly kills himself? Mondays on KZfaq! Try it out!

Bert the B.L.O.A.T.

During the pandemic, my acid reflux was terrible. Late night snacking with the mommies took its toll and I was vomiting acid sometimes too. I love 2B1C because I thought that was terrible and was a low point, until I listened to Bart telling us about his sleep vomit. Thanks Krishna!

The amount of delusion from Bert when he flexes and thinks his arms or traps look good is so fucking funny 🤣

Bert wiggling in his seat while he is excited talking to Tom is just so darling and endearing! 😂 I adore his confidence and unwavering commitment to doing what brings him joy. 💕

Monday morning with both of my personalities, Tim and Bart.

Somebody in the subreddit called it Brett’s Smokey the Bear 🐻 hat and just realized how accurate that is

Bert missed Tom so much he wanted to tell him everything in this episode. 💙

Bert is exactly like my dogs when I come home after being gone for a few days

Bert still talks about Christy Mack like he just found out about her and hasn't talked about her every episode for the past few years

Tom’s constant looks to the panel like “was that… a sentence?” 😂

This one really feels like Tom is waiting to start the show, only to realize it’s the end of the show

Bert’s the most LA. Texan I’ve ever seen!

Tom you’re facial expressions makes me crack up laughing every time Bert has an idea or crazy antics. 😂🤙🏾🌺

Bert is the definition of self indulgence in every possible way.

Bert: "My favorite thing you ever do, that no one gets to see but me, is when someone does something out of the social norm and you just shoot eyes" Bert isn't self-aware enough to realize he just described 95% of the interactions on this podcast whenever he's describing his "normal" behaviors or thoughts and we all see Tom do that as Nadav cackles in the background

Bert: Like when someone does something outside the social norm, the way you look at them. I’m the only one that gets to see that. Really Bert, everyone watching the podcast gets to see that look multiple times an episode when Toms listening to you.

“That was exhausting” 😂😂😂 Tom is a blessing

Seeing Bert this bad is legitimately depressing. He’s so delusional with how he things he looks and how healthy he actually is.

He’s even redder, koolaid man is evolving

Bert needs another sober October

Bert’s been hanging out with Brendan, and been taking his addies

Bert is the child that Tom talks about in his stand-up “kids are the worst storytellers”, hilarious. Can’t put two words together. Love these two. 👍🏽❤️

Best part of Bert’s Summer look is the cocaine habit

Tom and Nadav talking to Bert flexing like you do to a 4 year old "oh WOW so ripped"

Every time I watch this show and drink a beer, I start to understand Bruce more and more.

I like how Bert assumed he took the one and only official “are you racist?” test

If Bert was poor he’d be the common everyday inner city homeless schizophrenic panhandling for booze 🥃

I dont know why I thought Bert actually may have a real weight lifting plan...literally only does chest and arms, classic.

Good lord...did Bert pull a couple rails the last 5 minutes?! That was fantastic!

So thankful i got to see Tom for the first time live last night in grand rapids! Thanks for coming up here

You give Bert a banana he’ll talk about it for days

Praise the Lord! Bert’s not racist anymore! ✊

I love them together, their dynamic is unmatched

“I love jackets.” -Tom Segura

"My favorite thing you ever do is when someone does something out of the social norm that is irritating to you and you just shoot eyes" - Bert.... I literally watch the pod to watch Tommy react like that to the shit Bert says 🤣🤣🤣

Bret: I like having a look ya know Tom: No I see that yeah

I just listened to Bart on JRE saying it’s sad when people wake up and drink. Meanwhile “I just had a shot of tequila at 9 in the morning”. 😂 and this was shot before Rogan.

Just saw Tommy Friday, on my birthday. If you haven't seen him on this new tour, DO IT!

Bret is proof-positive that narcissistic ignorance is bliss. I’ve been cursed with self-awareness. I’m not being sarcastic.

Bert: "I know her, I know her" Nadav: "what's her name?" Bert: "uhhhh...GiGi, I think?" Good job, Bert 🤣

The fact Bert and Tom reach out to their audience and basically provide work for some fans is some true leader shit 👏

New Bert drinking game: take a shot every time Bert mentions "Inside Baseball"

Berts final form is him wearing the pinwheel hat and a o.j Jersey.

Bert: "I'm gonna be so jacked" *the next episode of 2 bears* Bert: "So I ate 250 wings, 26 cheeseburgers, 5 sushi rolls, drank 8 gallons of beer, 16 bottles of wine, and a glass of spicy queso"

it's always so good when Tom and Bert have not ssen each other in a while

Bert talks hats for 6 minutes straight...and Tom makes me laugh 2 times with 2 sentences.

Bret, you’re exhausting man. We love Tom because of his absolutely chill humour

Bert mentioning that his favorite thing about Tom is the eyes he makes when someone acts strange and how other people don’t notice it had me rolling. That’s been the point of this podcast since the beginning.

I'm 30 mins and need a nap. Bert is on another level today!

Bert’s feathering it brother

Btw... This is Bert on a fuckin Red Bull, imagine him on coke bahaha 🤣😂💯

My father is essentially a somewhat toned down version of Bird. He's 72 years old drinks whiskey till he passes out every night And is in perfect health, Except for that time last year when he threw up in his sleep and got puke in his lungs and then coughed for a month straight and we all thought he had lung cancer. He smoked from the ages of 12 till 50 eightill 58 and still drinks every night and hes perfectly fine. The Mickey mantel gene is real

I'm alone all day driving on my birthday. I'm happy I got to listen to you guys today.