I’m thrilled for you man! Thanks so much for sharing!

So happy for you! ❤

Coach lee thank-you u are genuinely a good guy ​@@RealCoachLee

But You still think about your ex from time to time... Be honest with yourself, you still have feelings for her, just playing the cool guy, because this is what they teach you 😉

@@marianpotcovaru1609 Not playing the cool guy. Of course I still have feelings but the control she had over me is gone. Although we want our ex back after the breakup, with a little time I realized how I just wanted what I lost and not necessarily her.

Hello I was just scrolling through the app and I got a psychic divination about you “you are still in love with someone, who you think doesn’t love you back” I’m I Correct?

Wow! 6 months! Amazing response and to be honest very mature as well. Thank you for sharing.

Congratulations on doing your work on self knowledge and growth before approaching her again. Wishing the best for both of you🎉❤

Yeah. Good for you. My GF dumped me (I failed her I admit, as I didn't give her support and didn't see when she was falling apart), but she actually met another fancy boi when we were together on holiday. She then went to visit her family like 3 weeks after we came back from holiday. She met with him there. Then she came back home and she said it's over. I asked about her having other guy, and she bluntly refused,. She said it's her and she needs time. She start to come up with a lot of shit from our relationship. She said to our common friends that she doesn't say no to us, but she needs time. When she was packing all her stuff sending parcels home, and selling whatever she could, new boi was already with her family, helping them to unpack the scraps she was sending. Meanwhile she was still leaving with me, crying, cuddling and talking. SHe finally moved out and went back home. I found later that it was all planned from our vacation and she only went for like 3 weeks to help me, but then moved with him to another country. I also found out that she is badmouthing me. I know she has a new guy, which is seen in only superlatives, so she pant me in bad light to silence her conscience, but it's childish. She became completely different person, but I am hoping she will realize sooner or later what she did. I don't think we will ever be back, but man, we never had any toxic shit going on. I never abused her, I never looked for another one. I don't drink and party all the time. Never did anything to hurt her, and she is shitting on me and my family, where I have nothing against her family.

may I ask at what point of no contact you began missing her?

@@nieczerwony sorry to hear that. It sounds like you have dodged a bullet. She cheated, which says everything you need to know about her.

Dude! You are 💪🏻! Way to go! No doubt she was shocked you could stay away! Seriously, you are a badass!

That is a very big step. I’m sure that was one heck of a long day for you. Good for you be proud of yourself it sucks, but it will get better, and you deserve better. Hang in there.

Mine didnt so much as hear a peep out of me when Vday came and went 2 weeks after she dumped me. The next day I could see the anger in her face when we passed by each other in the street. The look of "how dare you not simp over me after i break your heart!" I loved the vitriol lol like a badge of honor

update? @garden6300

@@RealCoachLee I was thinking about saying Happy Birthday but after reading this, I definitely won’t.

Best wishes to you ❤

How did it all go? @abk4161

Wow. I wish my lover would come back too

Hey! its for the best. Sometimes it's just not meant to be. I have been in no contact for 4 month, long distance relationship as well. I feel there's no chance she's coming back, well she broke up with me for another guy that she claims she met him right after the breakup lol 😂 as if that's believable. I knew her for 2 years we have so many memories together. I think she's never coming back, although she broke no contact many times ! but it was only breadcrumbs. I only got a "how are you?" and she stops. I am still waiting for "i miss u" message and it's not working

@@Ahicksaf What if the person you connect with, you know is ur husband or ur soulmate Maybe it dun workout with you guys cuz in ur gut you knew she aint was the one or did u felt it from day 1?

@diaryofseresha i felt she was the one after a one year friends with benefits relationship. Then we decided to get serious and she said she has "doubts" about me but was willing to give it time since she said she loves. We have wonderful 3 month together sex and dates and jokes and sharing our childhoods. Suddenly she travels for 2 month, sends me a breakup text saying i am not for her. And she seemed very happy about leaving me. She claimed that she showed me love because she was depressed. This girl broke me mentally, never again i will allow such a lost unfaithful selfish woman in my life again.

@@Ahicksaf When she told u straightup at start that she only wanted fwbs. That was huge red flag, why u even gotten involved with her? And when she told u she wanted something serious later on, clearly she confused infatuation/lust with love till she realized ure not the one n then left. But for starters i would never even let no one touch me if they telling me straightup they only want fwbs. I dun believe in none of it. Go with someone who wants something serious from day 1, otherwise ull only waste ur time

And then they come back, and the cycle repeats while you are busy wasting time ,getting older, and the person who can actually give you what you want is busy getting married to someone else out there...

You are precious, May your wish come true ❤

Update: so I responded after thinking what exactly to say while being true to myself. I was clear and firm with him while giving him a chance to find clarity in what I had to say. I explained to him how I’m happier since I moved on, if not the happiness I ever been. Without blasting him or digging to deep in the past, I explained why I felt like this and what brought me to this point. I made it clear that I no longer what you hear from him and I’m not angry, I’m just sure on my decision. He’s been continuing to reach out wanting to me and what’s crazy is that I dreamed for this day. The day where he is begging me and I get to make him feel bad but honestly I just find it annoying lol. During nc I wanted him to kno how I felt but once I got over that jump in time, I realized he would never b what I thought we would be. Interesting enough, him treating me so bad didn’t make me get over him, it was me allowing someone else to treat me right that made me wanna let go and never look back. I was single for 4 years hoping my ex would make a grand gesture and it never happened (bc I was to available to him) so once I buckled down and got my head in the game, I met a really awesome guy and he is truly the most beautiful, amazing, kind, genuine soul I ever came across. Thank you coach lee for helping me get thru the “impossible” bc like you said, nc isn’t a formula to just get your ex back but it’s to help you get over your ex if that’s what you wanna take from it. Even though I am in a happy place, I will never for get about these videos and refer to them as needed. Thanks coach lee!

How long u went in nc till he reach out?

@@diaryofseresha 6 weeks

Thanks for sharing

Fly high brother 🎉

came back after 10 months and the magic was back. we traveled the world and got engaged

I did the same. Nice to see someone in the same situation.

Mine asked if we could stay friends, I refused and only said “no”. She got really upset and got out of my car after that without saying anything else. I know my worth and I will never accept to be downgraded to a friend

I told him that maybe someday we can be friends, but for now, friendship wasn't going to work. Not sure if I messed up in that respect, but when I do get over him if we don't get back together, if our paths ever cross, I would be open to friendship. I also wanted to convey that he can still approach me if he wants to talk, just not as friends.

I checked a lot of videos about the subject and there seems to be some mixed signals if you should stay friends with an ex (to still have a chance) or not. But I will believe in the basics of psychology , that Lee is also very clear with - to get the best chance, they need to FEEL the loss - esp if you don't want them to leave you again and again - and they can't feel the loss if you are in a "comfortable" zone for them where you are still in their life. I try to comfort myself a lot with that. @@duan_meixuan And as @GANZOP also pointed out - knowing your worth is essential (and attractive!)

The guy sounds selfish. He doesn’t want to have you (as a lover) but have you (as a friend).

Thank you, Brokencross, for such a kind comment. I appreciate so much you watching and I hope to continue to provide topics you want to learn about

I am am exactly 5 months today..You can do it..

May Allah make it easy for you ❤

I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.

Really? How do i find one please?

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

John, I suggest you get my free mini-course on saving a marriage at www.marriageradio.com/mini-course-to-save-your-marriage/

Don't let her use you as a escape goat, be better and ignore her, you will feel better with time, fly high and solo brother

What process started again?

May Allah heal you 🤍

Insha'Allah @@MdShamim__

Update?

Good for you bro! Keep pushing!!! I am on the same boat and i feel the same way about my ex we have 2 kids but im not emotionally there! For her, she chose to rebound too, but im a stronger person now and i dont really care anymore what she does

Im really sorry to hear that bro.

@jmoo72 Exactly bro, the door was opened & now its closed.

DAs will almost definitely come back. But also almost definitely come back to breadcrumb you to get their needs met and then leave again. It's never about your feelings or needs. Be extremely cautious when they reach out to you again. Because knowing avoidants, once they leave and they will always do, your image in their minds have already been torn into a million shreds. Reparing that image is not possible unless the avoidant is self aware and is seeking help. When they come back, its not about you, it's about them getting their needs met. In other words, using you. So please protect yourself.

In what way is it different now? For instance?

Give it time coach said 3-5 weeks they begin to feel something. Just wait and let them reach out again.

@@gsdkid182 they never come back

You will always have a relationship. Just have smart contract. I promise he will come back. Just have fun with the kids. He will feel like he’s missing out on making memories. As a Dad I feel that…

If u don’t trust her .. then don’t take her back … else you will always doubt her and eventually it will lead to nasty break up ….

@@Rocky76549 we are back and I'm seeing the efforts she's putting in to make it work. I don't want to lose the power as I did in the past.

Spiritually uplift yourself. In that way, you will always have the power with you, no one can have an upper hand over you. If you are interested I can suggest you few things

@@skincarerainbow4950 ok.let hear it then. We still learning

When I broke up with gf I had a few years ago I did not get into any other relationship for a year and a half. I don’t know you situation but just wanted to let you know that some people do stay single for a long time after a break up

I think that you should pause dating for a bit until you clear this out since its a fresh break up and you will bring a lot of negative energy to the person you date. Clear your head, go hit the gym or start a hobby and you will feel when the time is right to go out. Regarding her, I don't think that there is any reason to stay in touch with that person. Cheers

@@ElPadremio I don't talk to her at all I've been in NC since day 1

What's the thing you said that made her angry?

Yes, in the same situation. But remember brother she is giving her time to someone else . A woman is never single. Stay strong. I am doing the same... Good luck ahead

Just better yourself to the MAX I promise later down the road you will be invited to parties and school activities. Just glow bro

no.

I can relate to this, this different religion issue hits differently.

@MdShamim__ did she come back to you?

@@debasishhuzuri9372 Pray to god, and trust his plan. If god want it to happen, it will happen. Do your part whatever in your hands and leave it to god.

Add on: I do genuinely feel better in feeling like I got something off my chest. But for her sake, and maybe even the possibility of us getting back together, I do believe this could have hurt her or hurt the chances we resolve things

If I was you I’d move on…that’s like saying you dated for 4 years and it’s been 5 years.

Excellent question. A lot of it is FOMO (fear of missing out) and that people overcomplicate relationships nowdays.

He was in limerence. Just tell him what coach says. You’re open to it but want to take it one day at a time. Go out for coffee in 2 weeks just casual. Then next time talk about real boundaries and values. It’s up to you ultimately if you want to try again. Love is about being vulnerable. Check out Dr John Delony he has tons of videos in your situation

I have so many clients who day they followed that advice and now regret it. That’s why I try to tell people not to ignore. It’s not me being a “know-it-all,” I’m just telling people what I have seen.

@@RealCoachLee Understood.

If it makes you feel any better, it may be an art of picking between those 2 options… Generally it’s best to respond… however, I could see if they say something totally arbitrary & meaningless, something that doesn’t beckon much of a response at all, then I possibly would not respond in a case like that. Reward your ex for good behavior (if he exhibits that) don’t reward for bad behavior (if he exhibits that)

@@Cometcast12 Thank you for your insight

I feel you. Was it his first reach out to you? I've felt confused and regret after I ignored my ex. However he had sporadically contacted me prior and I always responded for a year.. to no avail. Initially I broke NC a few months after the breakup to get closure (he's fearful avoidant and had doubts), he stuck to his decision. But then he did contact me a few times as well - and it was confusing because he sent me a gift- then disappeared for 4/5 months. Then called for my birthday, I still responded but was shorter as soon as I realised he was not expressing anything about the relationship/ breakup or to see me. Then after more months he deleted me from his netflix account, but didn't change the password (so I could see it, I guess it was a bait for me to chase). I ignored his birthday. Weeks later, and so it was 15 months after the breakup, that he sent more nostalgic vulnerable messages as he was visiting my country (yet it was unclear what he wanted). I was still fragile and also resentful for the many months I had been hopeful for nothing. That I decided to not respond for the first time. I also wanted to see if he would try again and express regret. He hasn't tried again. Most people told me I should not respond, that he was stringing me along, even coach Ken advised me to set a boundary. I don't know the specifics of your situation and relationship dynamic, but if part of you was scared of being put on a shelf and being breadcrumbed, trust yourself. That's how I felt too, how my ex treated me even while in the relationship, because he's an avoidant and had control over me as I wanted the relationship more and he took me for granted. He is also sensitive to rejection, but maybe that means his fears are still an obstacle to being in a relationship. Maybe the truth in you felt like what Lucia said was the right thing for you. Every relationship and breakup is different and we only know our ex. If you still have regret, you could also reach out, finding an excuse. But the problem is that you'd lose all the power doing so, and that's a big risk if he was only testing the water for selfish purposes (for ego boost, or looking for momentary reassurance).

It’s rebound …no doubt … and I bet it won’t long … till then hold on … and work on urself … Peace ✌️

You shouldn’t have contacted them. They should gravel on their knees to take you back cause they’re the ones who hurt you!

@@migzm14 it's been over a month since NC. I hope to get over it with time.

@@shikhapriyankah I pray for you. Been in a break last month been 1 month of NC. We can do this! With or without them!!

It is an aggressive breadcrumb. Don’t do anything. Let her come to you.

Yes sir🫡

Depends on how long the OP was with her…don’t worry bro as men you know thoughts will creep into his head. Look at how he got her…

As far as taking her back it’s up to you…it could happen again. Maybe not? Being in a relationship is about being vulnerable.

You’re not in NC if you’re asking his buddy about him. That’s a turn off if he hears about it…it live life and bring positive energy into your life. That energy will reach him.

🧢 😅

That’s not healthy

@@michaelking9818 I'd never date anyone I wouldn't see a future with. Why would I break up with someone I want a future with? People need to stop giving up so easily, and work it out. Nothing is perfect.

Same , she got too close to other guys and I even saw their conversation, its flirtatious soo I was mad , she left me eventually saying I'm too negative, after I caught her doing those things 😢 it's been 2months NC for me. I'll be reaching out soon ig

Both of you, your respective partners just wanted to leave. You'll confronting them about affair and stuff was just the trigger. The gun was already loaded. If your partners wanted to leave you'll, you'll confronting them gives them an excuse to end things quicker, cause obviously they want you to have the guilt of making them leave, they don't want to take accountability. They don't want to think back on times and feel that they were the ones who messed up things. It's so obvious. It was never you'll, it was always them.

@@doubleJJ01you deserve better brother

@@MdShamim__ thank you bro , just an update , I did reach out to her , I was Casual to her but she was cold and uninterested, got ignored till the next day , we chat for a bit but she was cold , I knew it was over as she's not interested at all...I just remind her " if only if you could have been cold like this to those boys we wouldn't have broken up " , she started shifting topic saying " its not about that its about trust " , like how will I suppose to trust when she broke it and blame me for not trusting her....I eventually apologized for my flaws and she told me to move on and that she will never going to come back , I got blamed for everything man...even for catching her flirting bcuz I lose my trust after that and it's my fault for not trusting she said...sounds immature isn't it.