Being part of the notification squad has its benefits.

My dad tells this story all the time of a burglary that went wrong in his hometown. A local man (who was notorious for conning people out of pain killers) decided he wanted an easier way to get his fix. He went to the local pharmacy, shimmied through the AC system, and made off with a bunch of pain meds. On his way out, however, he dropped his shoe while trying to get back out through the air system. Somehow, the police could find no DNA on the shoe, and were seemingly at a loss. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. The day that the pharmacy opened back up, the robber strolled in and asked for his shoe back... Genius.

Actually I heard of this guy who tried to break into a store by throwing a brick at the glass, but it was bullet proof so it bounced off and hit him in the face😂😂😂

“opEN THE DOOR MAN I WANNA GET OUT” “You-you can get out, it says ‘pull’” “aiNT NO TIME TO LISTEN, fiX IT”

My mom was a branch manager at a bank and one day she comes home with this story. Some guy attempted to rob her from the drive-thru window by passing a note in. The entire staff proceeded to surround the window looking out and laugh at him as he drove off embarrassed.

Now do a Top 10 SMARTEST Criminals in the world.

A guy in Texas got out of prison, for drug related chargers. He was out of prison for less than 2 weeks, when he decided to text his drug dealer for some marijuana. However, he accidentally texted the wrong person. Instead of texting his drug dealer, he texted his probation officer. The probation officer notified the police, and when the police searched his home they discovered a wide variety of drugs, and he was quickly arrested and placed back into prison.

two unnamed carjackers in California ran from the police, eventually fleeing from the car and hopped a fence to get away. that fence led to their arrest as they had unwittingly jumped a fence to the grounds of San Quentin State Prison.

“Yeah I got the billy bat we taking this fool down” my favorite sentence Matt has ever said. This is why I love to Matt your awsome

It looks like the 2 marker guys were trying to dsiguise themselves as Batman and Ironman

one guy once logged onto his Facebook profile on a computer in a house he was robbing and forgot to log out

My mom's husband told me about a guy in Ohio who tried to rob a gas station with a snake. A SNAKE. ANd not even a poisins snake. True story.

My favorite one was the black marker on the faces... Just classic...

My parents used to be police officers and this is the story: There was a man proven for 2nd degree burglary. My mum was sent to the scene where she had to chase the criminal through the town. After chasing him over a mile, he turned a corner and disappeared. After a quick scan of the area, she tracked him to a house where she entered. Upon entering the building, there was a bang of of a window opening and shutting. Bursting into a room, it turned out to be the house of the man's girlfriend who had been *ahem* doing stuff to celebrate the 'success'. So she bolted after him, chasing the *naked man* through the streets of town. Eventually, he was caught and arrested though the scene is permanently etched into her mind.

When I was younger, I went out dancing at a club with my friends. It was smoky, hot and crowded, so I decided to go get some fresh air between sets. I went out a side door and a man hustled up to me and stuck a knife in front of my face demanding that I go to his car with him. I was TERRIFIED!! I turned to face him and said, "Oh! It's YOU! You scared me! I saw you inside, didn't I? I thought you were SO hot, so I followed you out here! We should party!". He looked surprised, and then happy as he lowered the knife and apologized for scaring me. I laughed and said that it was okay since I just LOVE bad boys. (I DON"T......and I was scared to death!) Then I made him promise to wait for me while I went back inside to get my jacket- which he readily did, all smiles. I went back inside then RAN to the biggest bouncer I could find and told him what had happened. He was an off-duty cop. He called the police, grabbed another bouncer, then went to confront my would-be rapist out where I left him. They had no trouble arresting and cuffing him and found he was carrying 2 large knives and a ,45 semi-automatic on his ankle........and lots of rope and duct tape in his car! When the cops showed up they found that he had just been paroled 2 days earlier after serving 7 years for sexual battery. They took him away; I turned to my friends and collapsed into their arms and started shaking. Then I threw up! To this day, I have no idea how I knew what to do in that situation. It was like it was automatic. All I know is that I am so glad that I was able to think quickly and walk away unscathed. The moronic loser rapist was sent back to prison for a mandatory 15 years. Good riddance to nasty rubbish!

This is my favorite criminal story: This guy had the bright idea of robbing a store directly across the street from a police station. He walked into the store, grabbed a pack of cigarettes, and booked it out. He then found that when he got to the get away car, he had locked his keys in. He ran back into the store and told the cashier that it was a joke. He was not amused and dialed 911. The guy managed to get fifty bucks out of the lottery machine and ran back to the car, seemingly forgetting that his keys were still in there. For a third time, he ran into the store, grabbed a broom, ran out, and smashed the driver seat window. By the time he pulled out the police were on his tail. He got a few blocks away before crashing the car and running into a ditch.

criminal: hey man I just robbed a store. guy: oh wow really? criminal: yep I stole 50 dollars from the cashier, 3 monsters, 4 bags of chips, and a pack of cigarettes. guy: oh wow. criminal: yep but I was hot wearing that mask so I took it off. I hope that security camera didn't got me... guy: that's very interesting. hey you wanna know something? criminal: what? guy: I'm actually a police office on break and you just been charged of robbery. criminal: fuck..........

If he ever made a sequel to this, it should be called "10 More-onic Criminals"

Bruh. pushing a pull door...that somthing I'd do to be honest

“Ain’t no time to listen, FIX IT!” 😂

In the city of about 12k people, Conneaut, Ohio a guy broke into a home in the middle of the night and robbed it. He escaped on foot. It had just snowed that night so all the police had to do was follow his foot prints.

In Berlin some Guy once robbed a jeansstore and just put on his new stolen trouser and left his old one with his: Phone, Credit- and Health insurance card at the shop then some time later he went back The police was already there 😑

How about the burglar who logged into his own Facebook account in the home he broke in, and left it open after he left?

Criminal enters a house Me pull out a gun Criminal: "This is not Walmart,my bad"

Who else heard of this guy who dressed up as a plant to rob a bank?

theres a criminal who who got himself arrested for the reward money

My brother tried to rob a pharmacy. He tried robbing the pharmacy wearing a pair of sunglasses and a baseball cap. He was highly intoxicated . He told the family he thought he was invisible. He was trying to rob the pharmacy for more drugs. He got caught because the pharmacy was in the back of a convenient store. The people in the facility knew because he grew up in the neighborhood.🤣😂😅

Did you know about the robber who called the bank to prepare the money, because he wanted to rob it? Which then the bank called the police and waited for the robber to come.

A guy taped some tree branches on his head to disguise himself as a tree to rob a bank.

There was a criminal I saw on the news once. Can't remember his name but he broke into a pizza place in my town. They showed the security footage on the news that morning and he used a rock to break the glass window, ran over to the counter and stole the tip jar instead of going for the cash register, and then he forgot which door he came in from and tried to exit the door that was locked. He ended up knocking himself unconscious from trying to ram open the door and was arrested.

There was a guy who dressed as a cow and took milk from a store.....

My school had to go into a code red (Code hide in the corner because a criminal's about) for about half the day. On the way home, I noticed the dollar store nearby was missing a window. That's right, some idiot tried to rob a Dollar store. Not a Walmart, not a Target, not even the few spaces away Royal Farm! Amazing.

man I laughed my ass of when you had to explain that a permanent marker is permanent 😂😂😂😂

A B C D E F G Gummy Bears are chasing me, one is red one is blue, one is chewing up my shoe. Now im running for my life, cuz the red one's got a knife.

About 2,5 years ago there was a case in northern Finland, where a couple broke into a pawn shop. The lady then came into that same pawn shop on the following day, trying to pawn the items they had stolen. What a stroke of genius that was.

I heard about a man who tried to violate his probation by breaking *into* his local county prison.

I heard of one I don't know the name but he threw a brick into a window. Unfortunately the window was made of Plexiglas and the brick just bounced back into his head rendering him unconscious until the police arrived.

Clearfield county PA. Man robbed a bank and had a mask on and was also wearing his work shirt with his name on it. :/

In my town a guy tried to escape the police by swimming out into the ocean.

I can imagine two cops, half way through eating a donut just watching a guy with a baseball bat, drawings on his face with his phone number pasted on the back of his shirt trying to steal from a 7 foot guy

When you don't need notifications because you're on KZfaq 24/7

Somebody ACTUALLY ASKED FOR A RIDE FROM THE GUY HE JUST ROBBED!!!!

The guy who thought that lemon juice would make his face invisible. Have so been told that years ago a person robbed a bank in a local mall....only to walk across and try to order dinner at a sit down restaurant IN THAT MALL. It gets worse (or better, depending how you look at it): the restaurant was literally right across the freaking hall in plain sight.

I got one for ya: a few years ago, here in Albuquerque, NM, a guy tried to rob a convenience store. He had the tools he needed: a mask, a gun a bag for the money... But, it was late and this particular store didn't keep cash in the safe or much in the till. So, the clerk had a bright idea. She offered to write him a check for the amount he wanted. He agreed. She wrote the check, then asked who it should be made out to. The guy gave her his name, took the check and left. Funny... the police caught him after that. Wonder why?? :D

When I was in college, one of my classmates would hold a monthly "Stupidest Criminals Theater" events as a way for us to have fun. She would tape episodes of "Hot Pursuit" and the like, mute the sound and we would basically play MST3K as we watched them. The person who made jokes that got the most laughs would win an award. I don't remember most of them but I remember the one time I won. It was a security footage of a guy breaking into a liquor store, choosing to go through the ceiling...falling through the tile ceiling and landing on several bottles, breaking them. I couldn't resist and started singing the Pink Panther theme.

This guy set a house on fire, and went across the street to get a drink. Soon the fire department arrived and the man walked up to them to say that he started the fire. When they asked him why, he said because he wanted them to come to his house. No other reason, just that. In my opinion, this man takes the cake!

Frank Singleton?More like...FRANK SIMPLETON! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!! I'll leave now.

I watched a video about a guy attempting to rob a bank wrote a note stating 'Give me money, I have a gun.' But the dumb part about it was he wrote it on the back of one of his bank deposit slips that was already filled out and signed.

I don't remember the names of the guy, but I heard somewhere that a guy had broken into someone else's house, and the FELL ASLEEP! He broke in when the owner was gone, and when he woke up the owner was back and the owner called the police. The robber obviously was arrested and that is hilarious to me

an anonymous attempted to rob a dollar tree when he couldn't get out the front door so he called the police saying he was trapped in the store he was robbing and they came, got him out and arrested him

"All right, this is a stick up! Does anyone have a gun I can use?!"

I think National Lampoon or maybe Mad Magazine would publish stupid crime stories back in the seventies and eighties. Here is a story I read recently. As two men waited on line at the coffee shop to pay their bill, a third cut in front of them. He threw a drink at the clerk, and demanded all the money from the till. Temporarily surprised, the men quickly recovered and handcuffed the crook. Apparently in his rush the criminal didn’t notice they were police officers-in full uniform. Their will always be that person that will give us a new definition of stupid criminal. How sad, how sad indeed.

DON'T COMMENT!! YOU HAVENT WATCHED THE WHOLE VID YET.

Matt's shirt is tripping me out!

What about the two guys trying that tried to break a window with a rock in an attempt at robbery? One of them threw a rock at the window, which merely bounced off, knocking his companion out cold. He then picked up the same rock, and threw it at the same window, knocking himself out.

GIVE ME THE MONEY! *Five minutes later* Can I use this money to buy a drink?

I loved this one. It reminds me of that old tv show the worlds dumbest criminals. My favorite dumb criminal is the gang that ran from the police but stayed in a group rather than scatter.

One time, the police got a phone call and instead of hearing a regular person, they heard the discussion of a robbery about to happen. Apparently, some criminals were planning a robbery, but one of them sat on their phone and BUTT DIALED the POLICE! They instantly arrived and arrested them. Yeah, that’s dum.

Mathew: **keeps talking about these stuff** Me: **keep looking at the shirt illusion the whole time**

Who's watching this to recover from Matt's newest creepypasta video?

I was held up outside a laundrymat by a guy just out of prison one morning...he must have been pretty starved for conversation, because he told me all about himself while i dug quarters out of my pocket to hand over..when i complained that i wouldnt be able to do laundry, (as a joke), he accidently gave me ten dollars back instead of the few quarters i gave him. I ended up making a "profit" on the robbery, and he was thrilled with his success at sticking me up, so i guess it turned out well...

There was a person who tried to rob a dollar store and called the police when they couldn’t find the way out.... a freaking dollar store-

the police should have also charged these people with stupidity

Criminals..... Y U NO SMART????!!!!

who else is reading the comments while watching the video?

Had a buddy of mine outside of a bar when another guy walked by him and punched him in the back of the head knocking him down as he walked up to a truck and got in with his group and left. Management checked footage to see what happened and my buddy got a close up pic of the license plate on the vehicle. The next day I was out at the same bar and the guy came back to the bar again to drink where the management immediately recognized him and called the police.

Just imagine if somebody jobbed their own shop lol

The worst robber was me in 3rd grade 😂 I just wanted a smelly sticker

Hey you scrolling through the comments, have a great day!

9:23 Best Krusty the clown laugh ever. XD

"Open the door!" Me: Dude, it says pull...

There was a bank robber that paid a "wizard" to make him invisible then walked casually into a bank took money from the dumbfounded employees and walked out.

3:42 I instantly thought of Christian Bale

Heard a story at an Applebees several years ago; apparently, one of their waitresses was serving a party, and the(a?) woman in the group ordered alcohol. Now, the waitress kinda thought the woman seemed old enough, and hadn't intended on carding her, but when offered a Drivers License, took it anyway to check. Turns out, the customer had handed the waitress the waitresses' own stolen Drivers License, taken along with her purse not long ago. Yeah, let's just run this ID through the system, and make a quick call to the police while doing so. Oops?

9:23 Krusty the Clown

Called a bank and told them to have $100,000 ready for them to steal when they arrived. The police were notified and the robbers were arrested immediately.

Pause at 0:00 and look at Matthew's face.

“I’m telling you man this is the best way! No one is going to be able to recognize us with marker on our faces” “ omg dude your a genius!! Let’s go do this thing!”

Using a SEE THROUGH plastic bag as a disguise is the best one you can think of

I heard about this lady who stabbed her husband with a squirrel on the news

what i if told you you read that wrong.

*@**6:53** Yep, gotta watch out for that FLORIDY county jail...* 🤔

Hey, Matthew! I have one that takes the cake: two boys tried to rob a police station in Florida!

There was once a guy who broke into a house but the house owner and a friend came home and the robber went to hide upstairs, the house owner told his friend a joke and the robber laughed and got caught

whats the difference between robbery and theft

One of the best KZfaq channels over the years was always yours and man coming back to it is great!

THE 2ND ONE TOOK PLACE ON MY BIRTH DAY!!

"So what are you in for?" "I don't want to talk about it"

Mat, bro, you need to slow down the speed of posting videos. Seriously, I can`t keep up with you dude.

There was this one guy from Illinois who - with a few accomplices - managed to successfully rob a TCF bank out of $80,000. A few weeks went by and the case went cold. The guy, however, just didn't know how to keep his mouth shut because he called a radio talk show during their confessions bit and confessed to the crime. An FBI agent happened to listen to the confession and he and his cohorts were arrested.

Reminds me of a story I heard once about a guy who attempted to rob a bank, but it was full of police as they were cashing their payday checks. The idiot criminal goes up to the counter, demands for the money, and then is immediately surrounded with cops with their guns pulled.

Matt you should do a top 10 unsolved murder

If you are in a phone, make the video small and look on Matthew's shirt

Reminds me of this guy that walked into a store, signed a job application, and then walked out. The next day, he was caught on a surveillance camera shoplifting AT THE SAME STORE where he signed the job application.

Omg that clown laugh had me Rowling around on the floor hahahaha

Some dude robbed a WalMart for milk and then began to sell the milk just outside (also he was wearing a cow onesie)

which one made you face palm? 1, 3 and 7 for me

I've worked as a correctional officer and there was a particular female inmate that was regularly incarcerated for minor charges, usually drug/alcohol related along with a couple of mental illness problems that contributed to said minor charges. She was released once during my shift for only a couple of hours before being arrested for public intoxication and drug possession. She was brought back to the same county DOC. The same officer that dressed her out processed her back into booking 😂

Matt you are amazing! I enjoy watching your expressions and I love how informative you. My granddaughter (age 6) loves watching your videos!

This one guy broke into a store (I forget his name) and he was a highschool student on the football team, what he forgot when he was robbing the place was that he was wearing his jacket... with his name... and school... and football number, ya he was arrested