The cake should be renamed; 'The Semen Demon'

He films you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he'll hit you up at 3am, to microwave a cake.

18:15 - "And yeah, just give it some love." Considering what it looked like, it seems he was pretty successful in that endeavor.

I didn't see "Bust a nut on the cake" in the step by step instructions

It's nice when two friends can get together and put a white milky fluid on a cake together.

You cheated by using a fresh egg; you should have found one from the 90s to mix with it.

That “glaze” looks like something I would create on a lonely night

I believe “Death Streusel” is Hideo Kojima’s new game.

He said to give it some love. After putting the glaze on that's exactly what it looks like they did.

Chef excellence spreads his rancid love on a cake at 3am.

It's astonishing how much that frosting looks like actual jizz.

When you take 25 years to make a cake thats supposed to take 4 minutes.

Dan's acting was so convincing that at first I believed that he was angry, despite the whole waking up scene.

it feels weird knowing that that cake is older than i am

"You won't need to knead it, though, as it's gone soft over the years." Today I learned Stuart doesn't know how instructions work.

18:32 That's what I looked like in mid/late 1989 when this cake was boxed.

Ah yellow cake uranium flavour, my favourite.

I'm afraid... I actually remember these! The problem is that they were more expensive than a regular cake mix, significantly smaller than a regular cake mix, and ended up super rubbery and gross. So you got to pay more, do exactly the same amount of work, and end up with tiny, crappy cake. The 80s sucked in a lot of ways!

I live in Denver, Colorado with an altitude being 5280 aka high altitude. I have to put extra flour in mostly everything I bake or it comes out rather flat. No I Don't live on the tip of a mountain, yes I have a microwave.

"Hand me the spoon, Daniel!" were his last spoken words before the death cake tragically took his life.

"Go ahead and give it some love." And of course, he says that right as we find out what the icing looks like. *snicker*

With a name like "MicroRave", I was half expecting a miniature rave in the microwave.

It's incredible how his kitchen was basically indistinct from a student kitchen.

It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake. Although, you know you can't be lazy.

You forgot to use the century egg. Please find another package of 25 year old microwave cake mix and try again.

Stuart is a goddamn interceleb and he still buys the most budget soap possible. I genuinely approve of this frugality. Soap is soap.

I know I'm super late to the game at this point, but I think it's valid to point out that the reason they put high-altitude cooking instructions on there is because in the US (the target market for that, I assume), we really do have several inhabited cities that are 3500 ft.+ above sea level.

"empty. thats how i feel as well." thats some relatable shit

Just imagine dying from eating something sent in. "Death by 83 year old can of spaghetti rings."

Wait, you got through the whole video without making a "the cake is a lie" joke? Bravo.

If anyone ever tried to poison ashens it wouldn't hurt him at all because he has built up a resilience because of all the mouldy food he's eaten

I think its odd that we call off-vanilla "yellow cake", seeing as thats the name of a highly radioactive material that if consumed will almost certainly result in immediate death

I find it hilarious that Ashens said "Give it some love" before they put the jizz icing on it. lol

can't help but feel that maybe the reason you're supposed to knead the glaze is to mix it together so it doesn't come out all separated? it could be because of how out of date it is but i don't think so. The rest of it looked like it had actually held up pretty well, shame about the taste

I'm surprised at how thoughtful the packaging is for the early nineties : inclusion of diabetics recipe, and instruction for high altitude. Great work !

One time I made brownies at midnight. Not to brag, but they were good brownies.

Crikey I struggled with the closeup near the end, will have to get you making a proper one some time from scratch washed down with some aged hot dogs

Lol the cake could be used to murder someone. A perfect alibi. "Oh I did not notice the expiration date" All family dead.

They have lots of microwave cakes now. This time they are mug cakes. You don’t need to buy a mix of course there are lots of easy recipes for mug cakes but yea everything comes back around again

That glaze looked frighteningly like semen. I mean, it's just plain uncanny. I swear I've stared at puddles like that, on top of my trash can, regretting every decision I've ever made.

Not to be a dick, but I just so happen to live in a city which is roughly a mile above sea level, despite the fact that it's called Prescott Valley (granted we are surrounded by mountains). Point being, we actually have to pay attention to "High Altitude Directions" or else the cakes come out practically inedible. Note this also applies to things you make from scratch, though only to things you bake. OK, now that I know this will be universally ignored I can continue with my riveting day of doing absolutely nothing.

I actually remember this cake growing up. My sister would make it, when she and I were watching tv and we didn't have any snacks around to munch on. I never liked it, but she loved it, I think because it made her feel like she could cook or bake or something and felt really proud of herself. The icing was pretty good, but not so watery like this one, i guess thats what 25 years in the cupboard does to icing hahaha.

I love it when you cook with your boyfriend, the two of you are so adorable together. :)

18:23 Money Shot

The glaze looks like... eh... "gentlemans relish" (And I don't mean the kind you spread on toast)

The Strudel sauce did look rather like 'gentlemens relish' as it were

6 years on and i am rewatching this again... its just funny to me to see these two make a cake and the reactions and one liners are on point.

I still think this channel was an inspiration for Steve1989.

Stuart, you're the only person in the world who can make a 24 minute video of yourself and a friend cooking a microwaveable meal and still make it entertaining...

Your friend's cooking skills make me feel so much better about myself. I can at least follow simple directions on a box without staring at it slack jawed every minute. Then again, he may not be joking about you waking him at 3am for this, that could explain some things.

'is it full of weebls?' I just imagined a tiny mr weebl falling out of the bag while singing

Me: bored and sad Ashens Video: (weird keyboard jingle) *day gets better*

The bit at the beginning with Dan all angry had me laughing hard 😂 I think his a brilliant actor and in my opinion was easily one of the best in the game child film!

4:20 minutes and seconds! AWWW YEAAAH! Also 25ish min long video, the cake mix is 25 years old. That's around 13140000 minutes. That means that each minute of this video, rounding to 25 for convenience sake, represents 525600 minutes of this cake mixes life. Truly this is a monumental feat, I commend you Ashens and cake mix.

*insert overly used seminal fluid joke here*

Uh, the glaze is separated like that because you didn't knead it.

Are people still whining about Dan, he was in the Ashens movie for fucks sake, he was fantastic in that and he's great in these. If you don't like Dan do everyone a favor and unsubscribe, or at the very least don't watch or comment on a video with Dan in it.

I laugh my ass off every time at the wake up scene! It's fucking hilarious!

Y...yellowcake? Yellowcake... Uranium...

As a German I find it funny how you pronounce "streusel" 😄

I'm sure it's already been mentioned in the comments somewhere, but I'll be fucked if I'm sorting through them all to find it, so I shall clarify the rational for the "high altitude" directions: Here in the states the folks who live in the Rocky Mountains regions actually have to adjust their cooking processes due to the lower air pressure at their particular elevations. For the most part it's a difference so inconsequential as to be meaningless, but in a culture where the end user can't be trusted to know a boil from a simmer these companies were simply appealing to the lowest common denominator.

Yellowcake is so delicious. Mmm... best served with Uranium.

"Darling, what are we having for desert tonight?" "Oh, it's Devil's food with chocolate frosting. You'll love it, it's delicious."

Microrave - sounds like an electro clubbing in pandemic times

That moment when microwave cake is older than you are. :I

To be fair, the box DID say to knead the icing packet, which you didn't do, which probably would have mixed it up a bit so it didn't look as separated. I'm guessing that's why it said Knead. Not because it was more solid originally and needed to be softened, but to mix it up.

Ashens at a party: "Dessert, everyone?" Everyone : takes him at his word and proceed to flee the building.

when you look at the clock and its not 3am ;)

Streusel are *supposed* to be lumpy. To see you crushing them back into powder because "something must be wrong with them" was kind of hilarious. Oh, and a German "eu" is pronounced roughly like "oy".

Box looks like an Atari 2600 cartridge design!

"empty that's how I feel"

"Oh no need to knead it. OH NO, it has separated because it's old!" If only it had been kneaded to recombine, eh?

Where can I buy these? I want to bring it to a party of someone I hate.

He complains that its 3am but the clock says 10:20...

"Why are you doing this at 3 AM in the morning?" 3 AM in the morning, as apposed to 3 AM at night?

"High Altitude Directions, for if you're on top of a mountain" sooo... The Midwestern US?

I love Chef Excellence's laugh. Its hearty and playful.

If ashens becomes immune to bacteria, we all know why.

20:24 That is genuine concern on his face :p "I know this whole thing is supposed to be fun and all but this might be crossing the line...."

If I ever start a metal band, our name will be Dėth Strüsel! 💀🤘🏻

Am I the only one who really wants to know what kind a bacteria can survive 25 years in a bag of icing?

Who knew videos based on ordinary household products could be so entertaining? So grateful for Ashens.

That is why they ask u to kneed it lol all the glaze separated

"HAND ME THE SPOON, DANIEL"

love the red dwarf reference

Ashens, acting like 3,500 feet is a mountain _laughs in Idahoan_ Also, yellow cake is white cake (probably the vanilla) where you include the egg yolks, not just the whites.

18:33 looks like ashens gave it a lot of love

I really appreciate this videos! thanks for going through this torture. but seriously, there's something extremely fascinating about seeing you open something that has been sealed for so long...and how it looks...wow.

stoke me a clipper i'll be back for christmas

I think you forgot to knead the glaze

18:40 Thats a load bruh.

microRAVE *beat drops*

You don't have to be climbing a mountain to use the "high altitude directions''. If you live in Denver you're more than a mile high....

"...not a wooden pickaxe." Minecraft kids incoming, brace for impact.

Warmed my heart to hear Stuart singing a snatch of one of Weeble and Bob's finest melodies.

Do people really save food for this long by accident? Jesus.

I don't know why he thought the altitude thing was weird. I went ot go visit familiy over the summer, in the mountains, about 6-7 thousand feet (although when I went hiking I got to 10,000 feet) above sea level.

I'm glad nobody walked in on me after the icing went on and I had to explain it

love this guys videos "if you take this out on a picnic and put a little sauce on it, it will IMMEDIATLY catch fire"

'Callin me over at 3AM to make you a cake... A DEATH CAKE"