Our anxiety gets worse when they are going through tough times. They blame us for everything.

I see your emotions Dr. Ramani. You deserve the same validation you've freely given to all of us who are suffering. My heart goes out to you & I just wanted to say thank you for all your time & effort you've given to those who needed to hear your messages. It's meant more to us than words could ever express & it hasn't gone unnoticed! I hope you never forget that fact! You're loved & valued more than you'll ever know Dr. Ramani.. ❤

Dr Ramani watching you cry broke my heart 😢 I’ve been diagnosed with complex PTSD last year . I’m seeing a fantastic psychologist for over a year , however the jumping out of my skin is still a problem, still intrusive thoughts, lots of triggers of places . Two steps forward, three steps back . Most mornings I’m so anxious takes me at least an hour to calm down , am crying just now as I feel your pain . Thank you for your honesty make me feel I’m not going nuts . You have no idea how much you have help me. I’m reading it’s not you again for the second time . Sending you heartfelt wishes of healing and hugs 🤗 Thank you , thank you , thank you 🙏

When I was 4 years old, I frequently wished I had never been born. I grew up in a toxic family and married two damaged men, the second, I believe, was a really toxic narc. My entire life, I always thought I was depressed and angry. At 55 years of age, I got divorced from my narc and went no contact with my family. It was only a couple of months after I left that I realized I wasn't depressed or angry! That discovery was amazing because I had been told my entire life that I was a depressed and angry person. I am still amazed 5 years later.

Being with a narcissist can really take a toll on one’s mental health, especially feeling worthless because of constant criticism which creates self-doubt, and the depression that comes with it due to the emotional rollercoaster and constant stress.

Going through a trauma can NOT be an excuse for abusing other people.

Dr Ramani watching you cry broke my heart. Thanks so much for being vulnerable and sharing from your heart. You deserve to be happy. Thanks for helping all of us understand the craziness that has become our life

I lived on campus during college because I earned a full ride scholarship. But my narc parents would force me into their car and drive me back to their house every weekend. I wasn't allowed to drive, but I used the bus or I walked to buy my groceries and get anything else I needed: all things I bought with my money because I worked part time through school. And I did not need anything from their house. But they owned me. I was their property. Any time I said that I wanted to stay at my dorm, malignant narc father would threaten to "beat me senseless" and withdraw me from school. I said wouldn't that be throwing away free money, and he said he didn't care if it "Put Me In My Place". The day my college counselor told me it would be better for my mental health to just lie and say I had group projects most weekends, I couldn't stop crying - not tears of sadness, tears of joy. For the first time in my life a grown up was not agreeing that I was a thing or pretending it was ok that two abusers were regularly kidnapping me from my home.

The most authentic doctor I’ve ever seen. Period.

I am 56 years old. Nearly my entire life has been being abused by narcissists. I was unable to get away from this type of people. I have 1 person left in my life. Due to legal reasons, I can't totally leave. Although, I am distancing myself over time. It took my 5 1/2 years to get over the feelings of depression and anxiety. My life is in fast foreword.

I am a totally different person, healthier and happier, away from the narcissists. It’s heartbreaking to realize what they’ve done to me. Taking myself back and protecting myself. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤

❤🎉Divorced one month and feeling so much better!

Thank you for clarifying the difference between clinical depression and the depression that goes along with abuse at the hands of a narcissist. ❤

Dr. Ramani, just know that you are saving lives with your work, including this one. Much love and strength is being sent your way, to overcome your current challenges.

Thank you so much for being so real. I'm crying with you. Don't forget that you aren't alone.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Thank you, I am avoiding all people who reminds me of my past narcissistic abuse. I have to control myself because I go into defense mode because I’m tied of people bullying me. I just want to be alone. If you’re not good for my mind, body and soul I don’t want you around me. I didn’t know that being kind would be exhausting and abusing.

The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalized

You deserve to have feelings too. You deserve self love. You deserve to be proud of your accomplishments. Idk what anyone thinks if I’m a narcissist but anyone can see you’re precious in this world and help a lot of people. Thank you. 🙏

I coined a phrase while learning to deal with my late malignant narcissist husband. I quit "feeding the monster" by NOT reacting. It really helped. Try not to feed the monster by being their source of supply.

What a light bulb moment… I’m not Clinically depressed. Wow it’s him not me… I really needed to hear that.

I got teary eyed when you shared your current experience. This community understands what you're going through. Thanks for sharing this, and all your knowledge. Take care ❤️

My youngest daughter used to say to me ‘mum you’re so much more fun when dad’s away!’. I think that says it all and yet when I finally left him my daughters turned against me and I’ve sadly not seen them for 11 years. I grew up with a narcissistic mother and a lot of violence. I then married a man I didn’t love to escape it and after 20 years left him and his emotional abuse. I’ve now been diagnosed with bpd and cptsd. I am currently in a historical trauma program and see the links so clearly now. My body pain is also linked to my trauma but it is starting to get better as I’ve cut all my family out of my life. I prioritise my own health and wellbeing now and am kind to myself ❤

Working in a narcissistic workplace is a nightmare. It seems like if you're at a big organization, it's impossible to avoid narcs.

When the narc isn't around. You can actually start to gather your thoughts and goals. There is no yelling or stress. When they show up. It's all about serving their needs constantly. You start to forget important things that needed to be accomplished. Narcs seem to want turmoil and failure in everything.

This is very interesting as I recently separated from my narcissistic ex. I suffer from depression and I meditate. But when he was with me I was always tired and sometimes unable to function, but now I am sad as it was a 30 years relationship, but I am doing much better. In the energy department.

Thank you so much for this video. And sharing your tears (I was crying right along with you). ❤❤❤

Thank You So Very Much For Sharing This I Needed To Hear This After Being Horribly Abused Psychologically And Emotionally I Suffer From Emotional Trauma Mental Health Issues And Health Issues I Also Have A Very Low Self Esteem I Have Excessive Clinginess Anxious Severe Low Self Worth Anxiety And My Worse Is OCD ..From The Horrific Abuse I Suffered Narcissistic Abuse Is Brutal… DR RAMINI YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL WITH A BEAUTIFUL SOUL IM SO GLAD TO KNOW IM NOT ALONE...

I get nausia,, diareah, dizzyness, shortness of breath and my heart beats fast. It's awful

Dr Ramani Your so helpful on so many different topics. Your a lifesaver. Thanks. Make sure you take care of yourself.

Yes!!! My last counsellor says I do have anxiety in the form of a person. When he leaves so does my anxiety. The anxious depression comes when it gets to be too much. I try to carry on with my day but during farming season which is stressful for him he reminds me in words and actions that I really am nothing but a servant to him. He can even be abusive and right after stand in front of the fridge and ask "what's to drink"....yes, I did start a reaction by saying "Open the fridge and look." And then I skadiddled away. My husband says that I clearly have a mental illness with my rollercoaster of emotions. Only when I'm pushed too far. You describe it exactly. I am typically a person that sees the joy everywhere and am very resilient but I get worn down by HIM....the good news is that he does identify that we must spend as little time together as possible. We are a farm family, he goes south for the winter and likes to go camping by himself so it is more possible than in most cases. Thank you. I've been following you for a long time and you get me through a lot! I wish I could reach in and give you a big hug.

There is no one who has helped me more in the last 5 years than you , Dr. Ramani, and Dr. Les Carter. This video brought on the tears! I’m going to get your book. Thank you I’ll see you tomorrow ❤️

Seeing you cry made me cry. This is so so bad. My narc keeps pushing and pushing. Trying to FK with me. Estate was closed in 2023. I start therapy this month. Finally took the first step. Still crying having melt downs on oublic

I’m sorry you’re going thru a hard time.

I'm so sorry you are going through a tough time, Dr Ramani. Sending you a bug hug and wishing you strength to get over it 🌹

Oh, my heart goes out to you. We are all so grateful for your kind, kind spirit.

Dr Ramani, let me say how much you have influenced my life and my healing since I started watching you several years ago but this video? This is REAL! I thought I was never going to get better because I wasn't as strong as you seem to be. Dropping your shoulders and your "strong face"fall away has allowed me to recognize that I am strong and I am better! I often have days of tears and angst but knowing you do too has made it all so real for me- the pain was real and the memories will continue but we will win- in the end- we ALL win. Tears show strength, courage, and perseverance... emotions are good!

I knew it was him when I came back from the spa. Had a great couple hours alone. Chatting with women. Giggling, fun gossiping, relaxing. The second my foot hit the door frame on the return trip I hear “ I need you to do …..”. I deflated like a balloon without helium. It’s like living with a toddler all the time. He had the audacity to tell his daughter I treat him like a child. What the…..

Dr. Ramani ,you are so right about this topic! Narcissists are bullies,, I have experienced this personally and professionly, It is absolutely terrible to experience this! I think they all should be accountable for the abuse tatics that they have done! I wish incarceration was possible in these circumstances! I worked for a company, that was all about this, so selfish, so self- centered, so immature, and so entitled, the true, honest and smart people are overlooked, the narcissitic people and the bullies thrive there, alot of these people should not even be in the positions that they are in! So very very backwards and dysfunctional! I felt so bad for you when you were crying, I have felt this way many times believe me! I appreciate you and what you stand for and all of your smart advice, help, and wisdom on this topic!❣️

Thank you so much for sharing. Sometimes I think I’m just an anxious mess and it’s nice to hear that I’m not alone.

Sending you the love. I'm sorry for your pain. Sharing it helps me, and hearing you share your pain helps me too. We learn from each other and we can lighten each other's load. I guess I will always startle easily. You might also. ❤❤❤ We will be okay, together, across the miles.❤

I think growing up with a narcissist parent I have had anxiety and depression from a very young age…it kinda just became my normal until I realized that it was in fact abnormal and worked on healing.

Dr Ramani You deserve your feelings. I experienced an exaggerated startle response that recently reared its head. I believe this is happening because of dealing with the reality that I am married to vulnerable covert narcissists.

I'm so sorry you are going through this, my heart is breaking for you and everyone, who's in this💔😢. Honest gentle hugs. And I also know well, how the body keeps score.

thank you for saying this… !

Thanks again, this puts a tremendous amount of clarity on emotions during the normal times of sadness versus deep depression and feelings of hopelessness in such relationships... Recovering who I am with out all the toxicity has been a long road. I have to say, not over night but improvement is definitely noticable change in daily mood has shifted to genuine and healthy forms of emotions, hope, joy, inspiration. Love your channel.

Thank you for going back over PTSD and Acute Anxiety Disorder again. Its refreshing to not have someone go all over the place when addressing the many different things that can happen when trying to navigate away from narcissistic people and just every day life occurences.❤

I just learned to day that the episodes in my life that I thought were depression were really a reaction to narcissistic abuse - I thought I had cycles of depression, but they were really cycles of reaction to narcissistic abuse. It is really funny, because I have had such extended periods of abuse, that I have felt almost giddy during times without abuse. It is like when I had really bad morning sickness (couldn't even keep water down, throwing up every 5-10 min all day) and I got a prescription for Zofran. My husband took me to iHop and I was raving about everything - the hash browns are incredible, this is the best toast and my husband said, "If you don't hush, people will think I never take you anywhere."

Thank you for sharing this. Its painful and never gets old, unfortunately. We always have to watch out for our own mental health and calm. I believe it’s not a „mental health issue“, it’s a perfectly normal and healthy reaction and state to this constant abuse, as depression seems to be also an attempt to heal, as the polyvagal theory suggested. So, how do we safe ourselves and stop moving into any unpleasant experiences for ourselves and others while we fight the dragon?

Thank you for this video and sharing your story Dr. Ramani. You are a beautiful lady with a huge heart, brilliant mind and your determination and dedication of countless hours to help people around the world struggling to cope. Without you, many would be left in the darkness, pain and grief of how to process narcissistic abuse and the effects it has on mental health. Thank you again and please take care ❤

C-PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Chronic Fatigue, Binge eating disorder, and then bipolar developed in response to multiple narcissists. Disability can result from years of abuse and neglect. I’m healing slowly now that there is no contact with any of them. Thank you so much! ❤

I appreciate you opening up about the new thing many are going through including myself. Can’t think of much beyond how I can become a cog in the machine that exposes narcissism and its abus3 and impact on global mental health. The work you do is moving mountains. It’s already started.

I have been going through what you first described now for 45 years. I have fought very hard to be happy and to just go on with life but at 72 years old, I'm finding it more and more difficult to stay on top of it. I'm at my wits end. I don't know what end is up anymore. All I want to do is cry. I find myself suddenly fighting tears at the oddest times and out of nowhere. I try to fight the depression by sitting outside and going off into my own world. Then he appears and my vacation is over.

"life sucks and then you die" has been my mantra since i was a child. Went no contact with my mother and stopped talking to toxic people and this thought went away for the first time in my life.

Thank you for being so raw and real with us Dr. Ramani. Sending you strength. ✌️❤️

Best description: depression-past crap anxiety-fear &worry about future crap Free time from the Narc vamp = happy af 😊

I know Dr Ramani, my startle factor is a 10, I did not used to be this way at all. My nervous system is on overload, all the time. I so understand the jumping out of your skin feeling. It is with me all the time. Validating the fallout of these toxic relationships has been helpful. And agreed, going to the wrong therapist can further invalidate you. You are helping so many with your empathic style. Your new Fireside "Reality Check" channel, is my support group. Thank you for creating this community. 😃

I feel it more as dread than depression. It’s the knowledge that all your bread will have mold and hard as you try to get out of the well you’ll be kicked back down

You are loved. Narcs be damned. So so maddening that they hold such power!

Thank you thank you sooo much!!! Thank you to be vulnerable 💞🙏💞 thank you from Tampa Fl.

Dr. Ramani, I like how transparent you are, by using yourself saying that you, too, have mental health issues. Bravo! Thank you for supporting your own visibility in this turmoil whirlwind of the victimhood the narcissist keeps hitting us with, our mental health issues. Role Model, Dr. ramani. Your speaking to the heart of our healing community. 😂

Ty for being vulnerable, we see you. You helped so many people.

Your transparency, vulnerability, realness, compassion and empowerment is so so SO healing for this world. Never stop doing what you're doing! You're such a light in this world for people that are going through these struggles. Thank you for spreading education awareness and support for your clients and community

You always have the exact video that I need for the day. I always save your videos 💘 I'm in a Narrcissict marriage and I am struggling with depression.

Thank you Dr. R! I have 2 Mental Health Masters Degrees, a certification in Play Therapy and IQ testing. I was raised by an "Asian Tiger Mother," and a military "Full Metal Jacket/gunny sergeant" father....I have suffered for more than 32 years from malignant narcissistic husband who discarded me for a younger Asian woman ...I work with high risk/traumatized adolescents on the daily.....your video today....saved me in ways you will never understand....it is okay for me to feel sad, depressed, cry and be utterly devastated sometimes....Thank you.....this video was a God send.

Both my Narcissist have passed on now, I am so much more at ease and centered in my life now. I have also gotten to where if someone shows the narcissistic behavior I cut them off immediately.

I’ve suffered with anxiety and panic disorder for years. Narc husband triggered my panic disorder and my generalised anxiety has got 100 times worse, no brainer. I’ve existed ever since my panic disorder which is one big reason I’ve stayed in this abusive, loveless, sexless marriage 😔 Just to think of all the men out there, even had I stayed single, I’m positive I’d have not ended up in a cycle of fear and stress and deep unhappiness. The things I used to be able to do but haven’t done for 27 years, is soul destroying. My adult sons have low mood, depression, and it’s definitely the impact of their dad’s behaviour. He is giving us all the silent treatment, 2 weeks already, yet it’s our elder son’s bday tomorrow. I’m trying to motivate him to go out for lunch but he has been very down lately, not surprising. I feel helpless although I always tell my sons I’m there for them, I understand 😢💜

Hey all you fellow survivors it’s time to step and crunch all those eggshells they like to make our carpet!

Yes, it is all of us. 🙌Thank you

It's amazing that even well meant reassurance toward an acquaintance, or friend or even relative can invite rejection. Covert narcicism strikes again. I have often felt "wrong"not knowing why. Thanks for clarifying this point.😊

My heart goes out to you Dr. Ramani

We love you and support you! Thank you for your open heart and willingness to be transparent with the world!

This Podcast, is EXACTLY, how i am struggling post Narc Long term marriage. But Dr Ramani How i wished to be able to give you a loving, warm hug All the way from Australia. You are such a loving, meaningful, non judgemental Educator. Bless you, and A Hug from Australia

Dr Ramani, sending you warm n loving thoughts for your benefit n for all that you've done for us n in the future. You deserve it just as much as we do. Please take good n gentle care of yourself!! Lots of hugs!!!

You are a real God sent Dr. Ramani and I pray you lived long to help all those disturbed and lost souls out there due to narcissist abuse

I think the dreadful things happening in this world are also stripping us bare. It is as if it does not get better. And yet, this too shall pass. I am sorry for whatever or whoever is hurting you. ❤

Breaks my heart seeing you hurt Dr. Ramani. You’ve helped me through my hardest days

Each time I read , see or listen to a podcasts about a narcissist it actually puts me off even more. It’s disturbing, evil, disgusting and unforgettable. I pray to god, one day I can forget all the mental abuse I lived, not even being 30, living through hell from my previous narcissistic partner that was my first. How can you be so cruel & evil to someone so pure, naive and loving? Especially if the other person was your first ever love/ relationship/ person you’ve been with in their entire life. How do you have the thought even to do this to a beautiful and rare soul? I can’t justify and comprehend why these individuals practise this sort of behaviour on others. The back hand storey of them going through child hood trauma or abuse does not justify this sick behaviour. If you think neglect, trauma, child abuse does justify, then I’ll put forward that I’ve been through exactly the same thing if not worse, when I was younger I had a narcissistic parent, however I DID NOT TURN OUT TO BE FUCKED IN THE HEAD AND DELIBERATELY HARM OTHERS FOR MY OWN PERSONAL GAIN. WHO ever is reading this, whether you are a narcissist or not, it’s awfully horrific. I don’t even wish this upon my worst enemy. I just have one question to these disgusting demonic spirits, why do you do this to the most beautiful loving genuine person on earth? What did you achieve from this twisted disgusting behaviour besides hurt…. Was it worth it?

After many years, I've been able to carve out a life of my own, separate and yet, still together with the narcissist. It takes acknowledgement and perseverance, and it's not ideal, but it works for me. My advice, keep those you love and trust close to you always.

Doctor Iam sorry for your pain. You are a Good Spirit. May God keep you safe and heal you . Thank you Dr. for sharing 🙏❤️

Dr Ramani I am crying along with you and praying for God to guide and comfort us all who experience narcissistic abuse. Thank you for sharing and helping abuse survivors. We love you, God bless!

Wow…. This is so much more meaningful ❤Sending love ❤️

Dear Dr Ramany, take some time for yourself, you have given so much hope to so many. Thankyou.😊,

Years of stuffing my feelings down caused me serious health problems. It's important to let it out. Big hugs to all that can relate. 🫂❤

Dr Ramini i been there too, let it out give yourself the biggest loving hug because these experiences is what makes you the best clinical psychologist there is today 🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Dr. Ramani, as you are here for us, we are there for you! It’s so strong of you to be vulnerable on a platform such as KZfaq. I mean it. I’m having trouble being vulnerable to the people I actually care and love, and look at you! Just so you know, you are a kind soul and you deserve to be as much protected as you protect us! You deserve guidance as you give us guidance. Please, don’t forget that!

I cried with you.

Sending support, courage, strength, and care to you (Dr. Ram)...sorry you are going through that awful abuse...👍❤❤❤

Love and light Dr. Ramani. Thank you for humanising mental health problems. I hope you have the strength to positively navigate this season of yo life.

Out of sight out of mind.Period.😃

I'm so proud of you for hunkering down on pushing through the hard part... can't say - courage - enough. Presence of mind, power your way, and above all else kindness.

This is accurate in comparison

And thank you sharing so openly your current situation (at the time of the videorecording) and how its affecting you. I recognize how maddening it is to know so much about it, having so much experience already, and still fall into the rattling surprise of yet another toxic situation and / or finding yourself experiencing trauma responses, while thinking having dealt with them for a significant part and then being blind sighted by either all of a sudden, again. Huge hugs to you🌟🌟🌟❣ 💫🕊🐛💝🙏🏼💝🦋🕊💫

It used to be a regular routine to view her media on Sundays when I was enrolled in her healing program for a while this past year. It's very reassuring seeing her once in a while. She is so spot on and reframes reality how it really is,not how it's portayed by the narc abuser.

Hi Doctor Ramani, Thank you for your videos! I was wondering if you could do a video about narcissistic and psychosis? How does it differ from those with psychotic disorder like schizophrenia? I ask because we know in some cases, individuals with borderline personality disorder can have brief psychotic episodes aka transient psychosis. I was wondering if those with narcissistic personality disorder can experience psychosis? Can it be treated or what to do if you have narcissistic going through psychosis? Thank you!

Unfortunately my situation is multi faceted and complex. There is no question that I am living with the affects of being raised by a narcissistic stepmother since I was 4 years old. I have lost two of my sisters and my dad to horrible car crashes. All separate accidents. I have also lost my mother, uncle and grandfather to suicide. All this is only the half of it. My chronic depression is fed by multiple veins. My anxiety levels are fairly high at all times. I also have ptsd on many levels. I think that my lack of confidence and self esteem stems from a life spent with my stepmother. A truly narcissistic woman. In every aspect. Ironically, she is about all that I have left in my immediate family. Anymore I feel like the shell of a person that once was. Depression can be oh so dark and very complex. 😔

I’ll wish I could go through this video and give you a big, tight hug!! 🫂 God bless you! This video is so profound and eye opening!

❤🎉❤ You just described everything me and my kids have been going through and experiencing after growing up In and experiencing a toxic narcissistic family system. We are almost 5 yrs no contact and still struggling but slowly slowly we are settling down, but, we were in that dynamic for decades. I relate to everything you say in this video. We are trying to calm down our nervous systems with healing meditation music, epsom salt baths and trying to stay calm and be supportive of eachother and stay away from people and situations that are not good for us. Thank you for this video.

0:29 Depression vs. Clinical Depression 11:58 Normal Anxiety vs. Generalized Anxiety Disorder 26:23 PTSD- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Thank you Dr. Ramani. You are helping so many people, myself included. Thank you.

I cried when you cried. Thank you 🙏 for this video. I have dealt with ptsd and anxiety all my life and it got better as I cut off my family. As the scapegoat I started to instantly heal and less anxiety. 😮 I’m shocked but I’m so happy I’m finally healing in some ways