Thank you for this video and all you do! Your videos saved me from a toxic woman who used all of the manipulations you've explained to get her hooks into this widower. But not before she went into a toxic rage after I chose to go no contact. She's now facing the consequences of her actions within the criminal justice system. And I owe it all to you for opening my eyes.

I watched this video three times in a row last night. You explain the nuts and bolts on this subject perfectly.

I think i got brain damaged by the trauma bond. It was weird because i remember there was a time when i couldn't be alone and at the same time i couldn't go outside. I just felt that i couldn't handle the outside world and society. I did not want to get up to go to work but i forced myself to do it. I knew i had to fake it through work but i seriously was not right mentally at all. I never felt like this before. It was scary. I think it was from sleep deprivation and the psychological abuse from the narcissist relationship. It was only time and rest that healed or got me back to feeling better. After 3 years I still don't think i'm 100% back to how i was but i'm ok now and doing alright.

The best repellent is strong self-integrity. Do not be distracted from your purpose. Manage your time and energy very carefully. Make choices now that YOU will be proud tomorrow. Take your time and appreciate each choice you are making. The biggest red flag is a feeling like everything is "perfect." It feels amazing and too easy at the same time. The trap is you start changing your behavior to keep things "perfect." And yes, you will spend a significant amount of time unraveling from the codependency if you indulge in it. Be careful out there!

Thank You so much for all your videos. They're helping me to get over my narcissist soon to be ex-wife! It has been a hard journey but I'm better now than I was. She had my power for 9 years but I took my power back by leaving my house to start the separation period for a divorce! My final straw was I was having a mental health breakdown and I told her about it and she rolled her eyes at me, instead of trying to help me. I'm on the road to get my life back and I will find someone to really love me.

No wonder why so many men goto jail. They r not strong enough to leave toxic women . then these women just move to the next man playing victim

She is so brillant. Please people listen to her, everything is so true. I have lived everything she says.

I now understand my ex boyfriend is trauma bonded to his ex girlfriend who is a master manipulator, and female malignant narcissist.. She ended the relationship with him, married someone else and triangulates both guys intensifying the trauma bond. I didn't understand the pathology I was getting into. I finally saw what was on his phone with her, it was devastating. I'm out 3 years and beginning to recover my mental health.

I'm scared to date ....... Straight up. I'm an attractive, nice, creative 42 year old. Dealt with a few narcissists in my day. Thought I met a good woman recently.... She turned out to be a full blown narcissist. Playing all the games. I got out..... I ended it after three months. My new rule is not to sleep with anyone until I've seen every single side. Until I've seen the good the bad and the ugly. Otherwise I'll just get played with. And playing with a narc is a losing game. I wish they didn't exist.

So accurate. No placating victims or demonizing narcissists to get more subscribers or comments, just describing what's happening in these relationships in a way that makes it obvious none of us are alone in our experiences. You are the best in the whole field.

I was listening to the Eagles songs the other day nearly every song is about toxic women.

To put the dynamic into Eagles song titles: "New Kid in Town" "Life in the Fast Lane" "Best of My Love" "Lyin' Eyes" "Victim of Love" "Try and Love Again" "Heartache Tonight" "Witchy Woman" "The Last Resort" ...and if you're lucky... "Already Gone" followed by "Peaceful, Easy Feeling"

It is refreshing to see a therapist who is not discriminating or fearful of the intergrel awareness men and women both need to evolve to their full human potential. Thank you Lisa.

Your videos have helped me more than any of the others I've watched over these past 7 years I've been dealing with my wife. She alienated me from my kids. She pushed me away and kept me at a distance. Then she set me up to stay where I was with promises of reuniting with my kids again and living together again. She was actually already cheating on me and just keeping me on the hook for the sex for as long as she could before the discard when I found out. When I did she accused me of violence and called the police. It's a long story and it took me a long time to work thru it. It's still not over yet. She still has a death grip on my life and won't let go. But I'm working my way to the exit. This video really describes what I've been thru more then any of the others. I'm a rockstar. I've been with gorgeous women. This one strung me out like she knew me inside and out. Took me a long time to figure out her manipulations because I put too much trust in her. She ruined my kids. Why isn't emotional abuse illegal? Or financial abuse? Some part of this should be illegal. It's really insidious. Thanks again. Your way better then Dr Ramani. ☺️

Love the Eagles reference. Joe Walsh's lyrics are all about narcissism and the human condition. Same with Don Henley.

Thank you Lise. I'm just happy to have escaped her vicious tactics. Jesus christ.

The worst is having to endure this when under emotional duress from war/ physical trauma (couldn't walk) .....and enduring mockery/gaslighting when catching them cheating. My cognitive dissonance was so bad, I couldn't even go grocery shopping without help. Months later a false accusation of harassment that would later be dropped due to her lack of evidence. Some around me still think I'm crazy and a stalker because she gossiped to them first. I thank god for my trauma, otherwise I would've been stuck with an immoral individual. Her best friend even said to me, 'stop playing the moral high ground'... so what I have to sink to her level? No thanks, thanks for the lessons though.

Dr. Lise, heartfelt thanks and gratitude for this interpretation. Again and again, you hit the nail on the head. I was abused, manipulated and gaslighted by her while I was suffering the ecco of the worst accusations from my spiritual narcissistic hierarchical boss. I'm eternally grateful to you for spreading awareness and exposing their demonic manipulation

I spend all my time trying to figure out how to keep her happy, trying to change my approach every time. She’d go so far as tell me exactly what to say. She’d say that I just couldn’t meet her needs that she can’t count on me, I’m not the man she thought I was. I hadn’t changed from when she met me, I was actually going way above and beyond so it would mess with my mind. Then, she’d show glimpses of my dream girl, but as time went on that girl was less and less. I was just hoping to make it consecutive days without random conflict and her dips in feeling. About three weeks ago she discarded me having lined up a new immediate relation, the week before we were making plans to move in together. She had zero mourning period from leaving a relationship she swore was forever. Since, I’ve never felt more unstable. I feel like a prisoner in my own body while she’s callously flaunting on socials.

Very good video! The trama bond and addiction. I didn't get it until the addiction part was explained to me. I was raised by a narcissist so the pathways were already there. The narcissist relationships seemed normal; if there was a problem it was me. Thanks to work like this I became aware learned all the terms and applied them. I'm free. It wasn't easy. I still say that I can't diagnose anyone with NPD. However I can label the symptoms. "If it looks like a duck!" RUN!

Thank you for explaining what a female narcissist is and does, because all other psychologists and coaches mention is usually about men or men/women (but too ambiguos). You're videos are on point. I appreciate it because you make me stay strong in my decision to have blocked her from everything and cut all ties with her. Thank you doctor 🙏

Lisa, you have given me the explanation I needed to break my cognitive dissonance, the BS ing of yourself to you. Damm I needed this, and many others to penetrate my thick skull....but, I got it now. GOD bless your work!

My partner once gave me a list of things that might make me happy. (I was very unhappy). One of the items was “a girlfriend “. All of a sudden I was a jerk for being unhappy. After all, I was making her suspect that I wanted to cheat on her. That’s a hell of a manipulation right there!

Trauma Bonds are the absolute worst. Didn't know it was happening till it was too late. But now I'm healing. The body and brain chemistry changes are insane. And I made better choices. Listen to Lise and pass the info on to everyone you know. This planet is one big giant ball of trauma

You nailed it 100% I wish I didn't have to experience it to figure it out but now I know thank you Lise Leblanc

I went though this exactly in 2023 , thank you I was going crazy trying to make everything perfect and the roller coaster kept repeating , nothing happening only good and providing every solution to the random issues but something always has to be wrong out of nowhere I was like a ham[ster in a wheel I was doing my best to save her guide her and be a consistent person for her daughter but nothing was good enough she would even tell me she’s done this to many guys before and ‘’it’s not about her anymore’’ and she can help it finally telling me she was on meds and therapy

I'm trying to find out why my father didn't protect me from my mother but joined the constant lynching. If you share children with a narcissistic woman, even if you can't do anything due to divorce or whatever, stay strong. Those of your children who don't become narcissists would need your help in the future.

Thank you so much for your insight! As a man, you have helped me tremendously to find the answers throughout the breakup of my ex girlfriend after a 2 year relationship. I was trauma bonded, confused, and had a loss of identity in order to cater to her needs and seek her approval/love with no reciprocation in return while I was still with her. Dealing with someone of this caliber was a first for me and the psychological devastation and heartache I felt made me seek out a therapist for the first time in my life just because of her. I have found some improvement with therapy but your videos seem to resonate with me more.

perfect to a "T". I thought i was helping her, but it was the other way around. She was changing me, molding me into an automaton what she wanted me to be. sadly, it took me over 2 decades to understand and finally extricate myself from the toxic relationship. thanks, lise!

@Lise Leblanc you are a God send! everyone needs to watch and understand this going into a relationship. This happened to me and I was completed blinded by love and am still reeling. She did not have a narcissistic disorder but more of a covert spectrum of this.

Thank you for this video and being a very needed voice for men. Like you said we as society have this stigma that men are always the abusers and in the wrong. From my experiences its very much been the women Ive dated that were abusive, manipulative, narcissistic, and hurtful. Its nice to know that Im not the only one going through this

I can never get a straight answer from her. Ever!

It’s as if you were reading out my life experience from the past 20 months. Your accuracy is scary. It’s also very sad to finally know …that it was all pretence and nothing was real. I seriously thought to myself at the beginning of the relationship “wow, this is exactly whom I’ve waited for all my life “ and I even used to ask her “ where have you been all these years “? I had shared things about me that I had never trusted to tell anyone and it was all patiently listened to …only to be used against me later. A very humiliating and degrading experience. Makes one lose respect for oneself !! She’s even called me …scum of the earth …and all sorts of horrible things. Now it’s over …I’ve gone no contact. I really thought …she was the “one” …

This may be the best video I have ever seen on this subject !

My story is so sad…I cannot express in words….it’s too heavy

Yes ! I am one of them. She called the police to kick me out of my own condo. That was one year ago and see is still there. Realizing this I got into a deep depression. It took me months to get out. Meditation, gym, positive thinking, 9 month of psychological help. Ans the most important is to be in a support group for men experiencing spouse abuse. In the end physical abuse, and using the justice system.

An excellent explanation. I’ve passed it in to my son who had to deal with his narcissistic mother. He went no contact with her 16 years ago. My daughters deal with her on their terms but still receive her nonsense and associated fallout. Thank you so much. These women are evil

My mom is full on narcissist. But I was the black sheep of the family so I always got the disdain and accusations but never the hugs and affirmation. Thank God, that He loved me. I love my mom but have always kept a distance because I hate being accused wrongly. Now that my dad has passed and my brothers can no longer tolerate her, she is reaching out to me and wanting a relationship. Because she is my mom, I don't spurn her but when she accuses I just stay out of her life until she contacts me again. She has never said she is sorry even though she has said some of the most vile things to me. She is broken.

Lise, I’ve been 10 years in a dramatic relation to a narcissistic woman. It’s exactly like you describe. It’s the first time I see such a good explanation to the process. You’re going deep about understanding this specific personality and abuse. It’s exactly in the rewarding of our brain that is the answer, but that detail of anxiety of the risk of loosing her, and the getting back, is the bigger trap. I remember well in one of those moments, I felt pure and absolute joy and happiness. I passed for something as 30 break and getting back. That mechanism realy works creating a trauma, that enslaved me. Then, there were more extreme situations. It’s an evil game, because it seams not consciousness, but in other side, it can only be. So, one stands between that evaluation of intention, that never gets an answer. When in presence of clear mind reasoning, with all that knowledge disponível actually, there is always a refuse, a denial of admiring científic explanation. There is no hope, as we cannot push, nor accept. There is always a denial of past… as it is not convenient. Even after a strong treat of disease, that woman get softer, but the mechanisms are still there.

Damn. Sounds like you’ve been “a fly on the wall” of my life in dealing with my narc wife of 19 years. I’ve realized that educating yourself on narcissism is vital to healing yourself from narc abuse but in the end all roads lead to the decision to leave or stay. Narcs will poison drip you to your literal death if you don’t choose yourself and leave. Whether you leave or stay is all the narc truly cares about. Great video. I appreciate your no frills approach to sharing this important information. Thank you Lise.

Near the end, I described myself as Reek, the character from "Game of Thrones." It wasn't until I watched it (got) in 2021 did I realize what I had become to her. I was Reek to her.

Thank you Lise for helping us, men!

I really appreciate your focus on helping men. I think this kind of violence is the most used by abusive women as it is so hard to prove and let them walk away with it in ways a man wont be able to do. Our society isn't really ready for this conversation. I'm a person who had a malignant narcissistic mother and consequently had been with 2 narcs (overt/covert) for a total of 15 years before getting to understand, educate and free myself; i wish i've learned somehow these things in my early 20s and it is so hearth warming to find women like you putting out such work and help for men who had been victimized and abused. It is very hard for us to find help and support nowdays but even more to be understood or believed. Thx alot. Lots of love from Berlin

Another great video. Explaining all this really helps with the processing of everything that happened to me. Although I did discover most of what is said here on my own, I was unable to put in words this well.

Wow, been in this hell for 28 years and finally have a chance to get out. I remember when I was very young in this marriage, when she wanted something material or other thing, she would say to me "I want you to promise me you'll get this taken care of, because you know how disappointed I'll be if you break your promise to me. I'll never trust you again". Lunatic, makes me mad just thinking about it.

Dear Lise, your videos are easily understoood and the best i have seen so far. I just got dumped by a narcissist boyfriend. He is doing exactly what you said - he snapped at me for no reasons, becomes no accessible, and only accessible when he wants to, had frequent sexual relationship behind me (though i knew it but choose to keep silent). I was indeed trying to help and change him, and i got so addicted to him. I am doing the no contact strategy and honestly i still miss him and look at the pictures taken together with him and recall the happy moments. I know this is all illusion. Trying hard to snap out of it.

Yup, I'm taking notes from this and bringing it up with my therapist. I have lost my identity, been cheated on and somehow I'm the one trying to apologize and fix myself over and over again. This is mind blowing. I never know how to keep her happy, never know what i do wrong. As soon as i think we're good and im happy shes cold and withdrwn. Thank you.

This short, excellent presentation equals an entire library of related materials on the subject. Insanely precise and on the point! ☀️

My narc was working hard to convince me I was insane. The man who had a live for life and the beauty in it. The dreamer, the smile on my face through life's ups downs through it all. Hopeful. An artist, writer, poet, weightlifter, cook, affectionate and caring and thoughtful man. She was killing all that and convincing me I was insane. When I stuck to my truths and called her out on her stuff confidently. She would, in the sweetest honey coated voice ever say "Nooo baby please. That's not how it happened at all. You're in your head again. I love you and I'm here to help you through this. It'ill be OK." Like wtf. Insanity. So glad that internal intuition or whatever I have never fully accepted her words and always resisted. Always fought. I made it out from the trenches a few years ago and am still reclaiming all those parts of me she wanted to bury.

Once again, spot on

LOVE the Hotel California references!

Well said Lise. You are the best xo

God, what an intro. Darling 🥰

Thanks again for your work!

Excellent reviews ! Amazing analysis

Thank's Lisa, happy newyrs, and a merry x-mas!!!

Doing gods work lisa, thank you

Your videos are amazing, they are dead on. Thank you very much.

Thank you. I was abused and I felt horrible, after my break up I only had money motivating me to live, my buisness started to grow but I felt like I was only good enoughfor my buisness, now I understand all this. Thank you.

THANK YOU!!!

best explanation of narcissism I have seen. Thank you.

Excellent discussion.

This is my breakup Bible thank you so much 💜 gives me so much strength to hear step by step what I felt and still feel and makes me able to stay away without contact. Much love from Germany ❤️

Genious comparison with Hotel California

Love Dr. Leblanc

some of the most clear videos out here on these topics, thank you!

Another excellent presentation! Thanks again --

Lise you have a gift

This is what I needed to hear . This was so necessary for me to hear. ThanK you.

Thank you!

Damn your on point ❤️💪 I'm glad I found this, tanks ❤️🙏

Mrs. LeBlanc is on point

This video explains myself almost exactly thank you great work.

15 years. Thank you.

this made the hair stand up on my arms.... a lot of your videos sound like a 95% play by play of my last 4 years. didn't realize how bad things really were until it was too late. thank you for what you do, it's nice to see more help like this being made available for men (especially those of us who are highly emotional).

I can't emphasize enough how much your videos are helping me through a very difficult time following an intense relationship with a CNF. Thank you Lise!!

greeting from india, i agree no one talks abuse on man

I am so glad that my curiosity and finding videos like this has helped me become more aware because not just one thing, but everything you have said has been on point!

I absolutely love you ma'am thanks for your help ❤️

Thank you for a very detailed explanation of the process of trauma bonding. It is exactly the case.

This is eerie. The description is spot on. Although in my case I think it was BPD.

Thank you so much. These videos are helping me make sense of and deal with the horror I experienced over the last few years.

I appreciate your work

Excellent video I wish I knew these things a long many years ago.

Namste you are 100% accurate, what happened with me from last 5 years. accept my Thanks.

Amazing & clear explanation I personally need this to understand & gradually feel myself again. Thank Lise.

So spot on

I love your channel, and your videos are a great source of comfort. I'm interested to know more about the last comment you made - ie not being able to find your way back. I'm really worried that I'm losing myself in my current situation, and in a perpetual state of hope and longing. I've been so low and felt so much grief and emptiness, and then suddenly been 'picked up' and rescued by her for short periods, only to then be dumped back into the abyss. She leaves me on read and ignores me, like I don't matter at all, and this will be punctuated either by a message asking for something, or a message full of affection and future faking. I've never felt so emotionally confused in my life 😢

That's super intense, thanks for breaking this down! Not that it really matters much, but my curiosity makes me wonder if they know what they are doing - like, are they able to detach from their emotions and be this cold and calculating? Or if it's just deep rooted insecurities that they become intense control freaks, and this just becomes an cycle they go through, but not actually realize what they are doing?

Thank you for giving this advice for men, we struggle just as much as women

Thank you

I honestly believe there is a lot more women narcissists than men the majority of the time we men put up and shut up and we don't speak about our problems at home.

No trauma bond here but I definitely feel like I'm going to have a heart attack or a stroke from the constant manipulation tactics the disrespect and not taking no for an answer totally bombarded by constant attempts to give her a 2chance after 20 second chances that never change I distance myself and go no contact and she hunts me down relentlessly calls and shows up at my home just to keep arguing and throwing tantrums

You are awesome. How am I just finding your videos lol?

Love the Hotel California reference!

Thank you.

Thanku Lise

You're amazing and very helpful. Thank you! Luckily I didn't go so deep but was trauma bonded and suffered withdrawal, which caused me to hooveryself back with her. And fortunately, she already had someone she was madly in love with... 😂

Traima bond thats exactly what i feel

I lost 22 years of my life to a toxic, female covert narcissist. Unfortunately, I was totally taken in by her, married her then later she turned on me like a cobra. I could write a book about the horrible experience and I am psychologically scared.