4 Things a Man Needs to Feel to Fall In Love with You
Рет қаралды 552,903
Күн бұрынWatch this video to learn the 4 surprising feelings every guy needs to feel to put down his walls and open his heart to you... and how to inspire them!
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Ask three questions then give an explanation of what they're getting
FORMAT EXAMPLE: How to make him love me? How do men fall in love? How to get a guy to like me? I get asked questions like these ALL THE TIME by clients, students and women in my life... so I created a video explaining the 4 DEEP EMOTIONS that every man (consciously or SUBconsciously) needs to experience to drop into that deep, heart-centered loving connection with you that you desire.
TIMELINE
0:00 - Intro
0:54 - Subscribe
1:01 - The Nature of Emotions + Interdependence of Masculine/Feminine
2:20 - Men Lack Emotional Agency and Why it's a Good Thing
3:16 - R - Respected for What's He's Up to in the World
5:37 - A - Acknowledged for His Actions
11:02- S - Safety (Emotional Safety)
15:17- E - Excitement
17:12 - Recap of RASE
20:35 - Closing Comments
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• 4 Things a Man Needs t...
@domesticdiva1045 3 жыл бұрын
I get it . Men need a lot of care and kudos. Sometimes it’s exhausting and you want it to be your turn.
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
I appreciate your opinion on this! :)
@user-rk5vq5ms7d Ай бұрын
I Absolutely 💯 Percent Agree with you 👍 I told my Ex that I'm not raising a third son 😂😂
@SheriTynes 25 күн бұрын
It’s throughly exhausting. Especially when unbalanced
@helentaylor7132 9 сағат бұрын
@@Mat_Shaffer I'm not sure you actually do, but good try?
@sonja897 2 жыл бұрын
Become the person you want to attract into your life. Love and respect yourself. Put yourself first. When you start respecting yourself then other people will too. Set boundaries. Don’t settle. A relationship is a two way street.
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Fantastic!! I appreciate your opinion on this. 😊
@grannygoes7882 10 ай бұрын
Sure respect yourself but don't put yourself first. The world is full of people putting themselves first. It ain't a happy world!
@Handymanny1345 10 ай бұрын
@@grannygoes7882 I agree and if you always put yourself first you will never have a successful relationship with a man cause a man is also a priority when it comes to a relationship but yes a relationship goes both ways as well
@Handymanny1345 10 ай бұрын
You can’t always put yourself first when your in a relationship cause that shows a man that your all about yourself and not him as well yes relationships goes both ways but not always about you you have to show them they are as important to you as your important to them
@kirstenpeterson3894 10 ай бұрын
(This is in response to EVERYONE, use of "you" not toward the poster) Become the person you want to BE, not attract. Become your best self. It will take your whole life. This will be a shifting goal as new opportunities and challenges show up. The point is, YOU show up, because life will. Being of service, with your best self and your inherent gifts, is the only way. The only time we ruminate about relationships is when we ourselves know we aren't taking responsibility and action for our part in service to THE WORLD. Don't bog the world down with a narcissistic preoccupation around with keeping a relational tally on everyone in your life. That goes to dark places whether you realize it or not. Especially damaging is analyzing the MOTIVES of others. Just be YOUR best. Appreciate that life will unfold in more interesting ways than any plan you make. Have aims, yes, but you aren't in control of anything except your skills, readiness, and flexibility...so serve people, and if you serve your heart passions about how you spend your day, enjoying hard work, you will automatically serve EVERYONE with your unique gifts. We evolved as social animals, so just throwing up one's hand about men is a cop out. You go it alone and you won't grow. You need the feedback. You need to be checked around the idea of what you have a right to, vs your responsibilities. If you arent in comminity, romantically or otherwise, you will be talking to yourself. It won't be pretty. If you don't have a romantic partner, you should be doing SOMETHING in a group. Have a potluck monthly and invite everyone...people who don't know each other from all corners of your life. You will connect others and It will make you clean up your house! Join or start a book club, go to church, take a cheap class, go sit in the coffee shop or library...you will get to know your baristas and librarians and then you can invite them to your potluck. Point is, these connections will turn your life down unanticipated paths. Trust me. You cannot predict where meeting/ knowing any particular person might lead your life path. It is very exciting and I have seen random blessings unfold time and time again. The only thing you should want to control is skill building and openness. I'm an introvert and on the spectrum. It is often hard to leave the house, but one has to be smart about the long game...and it is FUN. Never be cynical nor contemptuous. That is the sin of thinking you know everything. I DO think women being cynical about men is a basic misapprehension around differences between sexes' thinking patterns and brain function. There is scientific data. We are exponentially more complex mammals around child rearing with longest dependence, so no doubt women evolved different thinking patterns and these are hard wired. So my impression is, our youtuber and many others are just trying give helpful hints about different brains.
@nebulanigrimleonis3883 3 жыл бұрын
That last point about encouraging HIM to express emotion... A safe place for him to share. I accidently did this, with him. And he opened up in a way that I've never seen before. He told me painful stories, from his childhood. It was like I loosened a very tight jar. And I could instantly feel him.... more relaxed and content. The way he looked at me was different. Everything was different after that. It was like, he took his armor off. He is stoic and steely. This was HUGE.
@PK-ms6yh 3 жыл бұрын
this is so poetic. i’m so happy for you!
@brooklyn3299 3 жыл бұрын
I’ve had this happen with a man that i wasn’t ready for… it made things hard for me knowing he needed me emotionally and I wasn’t there yet. 😔
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your story!
@kerenstar13 Жыл бұрын
How and what did you do to encourage him to open up to you?
@sharonthompson8406 Жыл бұрын
I’m so happy for both of you! May the Lord Bless your relationship
@theviewfromher5085 3 жыл бұрын
Basically, be a man's cheerleader, his mother and his therapist, but don't expect the same effort in return, because men lack the same capability of emotional awareness...?
@mercywakesho1515 3 жыл бұрын
😂😂
@bhavnadear 3 жыл бұрын
So true😂
@gijane28 Жыл бұрын
Lol😅
@lynngarza3489 11 ай бұрын
So true.
@billie381 11 ай бұрын
This is so true!!
@Yasmine91646 3 жыл бұрын
I am my boyfriend's cheerleader, I help him out around the house, I kiss and cuddle him a lot, I give him space and don't smother him, I respect him, I praise him, give him compliments, I ask him about his day, I show appreciation for him and what he does, I show love and care when he's hurt physically or emotionally and he said passionately in my ear "I love you" during lovemaking a few days ago after 8 months of being together. I noticed that my love and care for him has made him feel more connected to me which thus made every aspect of our relationship better both in and out of the bedroom. I just saw this video today and I can attest that what is said in this video is true.
@Arizona_lilly 3 жыл бұрын
Yay!!!
@OO-hs3he 3 жыл бұрын
Woow ❤️💃🏻 Glad for you sis 💚💚💚
@moop383 3 жыл бұрын
Mmm he must be really good looking then. Lol
@tonysilva847 2 жыл бұрын
Good for you!! Zaakiya..I sincerely hope that he realizes what he has in you and reciprocates....I chose to date and have a relationship with a woman from another Country We are so happy...she takes great care of me and I in return treat her like a queen. After reading some of the comments you can probably understand why I chose chose another culture. Good luck.
@stefielove 2 жыл бұрын
Wow woman still lower them selves and there standars for a mans love ??? Wow...Im not a slave to my man but been with my honey for 12 years and the love is still there ... Insecurity really over impowers a woman's identity to be loved that's nuts woooww
@purplelillyx9895 3 жыл бұрын
RASE 1. R respect ✊🏼 (only if he respects you) 2. A acknowledge for his actions (little things) 3. S safety (emotional safety) 4. E excitement !
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
AMAZING! Good tip!
@Hawaiiansky11 Жыл бұрын
Weird (sarc!)! It's almost like those are the same things women want from men, too! Huh.
@dianneciresi7208 10 ай бұрын
And if he doesn't respect u, then what do u do?
@princess2772 10 ай бұрын
@@dianneciresi7208leave his ass find someone who does
@rapunzelrose68 10 ай бұрын
@@Hawaiiansky11I'm definitely wanting the same from a man
@blancaorozco7537 10 ай бұрын
I’m in a journey to make my husband to fall in love again with me of almost 25 years of marriage. Those thing I use to do long ago and he was an amazing lover and husband. A decade ago I notes him distant and I keep wondering why, now I finely know. There are two thing you mentioned I was wasn’t doing any more. You opens my eyes and I’m so grateful to you and God for being the answer to my prayer. Blessings. ❤
@Mat_Shaffer 10 ай бұрын
Love that!
@angelinasamson6996 Жыл бұрын
I’ll tell you something, 49 years old and I’ve just met a man that doesn’t want to be just physical with me , he’s extremely happy to chill watch tv and share food Cuddle up in bed and sleep It’s all new to me so I’m currently adjusting to it . I’m used to being used has a physical object of Desire . Also having an anxious attachment in rather proud of myself for not wanting to suffocate him with neediness . He’s 16 years younger than me and when love came I didn’t even think about the age gap , I graciously received it ❤
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Fantastic! Thanks for sharing ❤❤❤
@blackroze1980 2 ай бұрын
I'm 43 and I have so much hesitation with younger guys. Like I just don't think that they have enough life experience to hold a decent conversation. Am I wrong to think this way?
@angelinasamson6996 2 ай бұрын
@@blackroze1980 I think it’s about depth with each individual person .
@alward599 7 күн бұрын
It’s great that he doesn’t activate your anxieties. Good match.
@angelinasamson6996 6 күн бұрын
@@alward599 we split up , he got scared and bolted 😂
@loiseubank7749 3 жыл бұрын
My guy loves to fish, I told him I wanted him to teach me to fish. He bought my fishing license and put 2 poles together for me. We've gone fishing a couple times, it's really fun, I caught my very first bass and he was thrilled, even though he didn't catch anything. I just love being with him whether we do anything or not!!
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
That is awesome!
@KatiesArabVision 3 жыл бұрын
Love yourself first. Set boundaries, if they can’t respect you move on to someone that will. DONT mold or shape yourself for anyone, change for yourself and if the next person isn’t appreciative of who you are break free (and I mean go silent and move on) and pour love into yourself. If that’s hard to do then that might be a signal there’s some co dependency issues YOU need to work on.
@jadek5822 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you! 💯 loving yourself has to be where we put our energy. THATS where the love comes from in the 1st place! We will attract who we are, always. 💖
@edith324 3 жыл бұрын
Never love anyone first only my kids judge me or not co dependcy is not in my books i do what makes me happy im a liberated confident self person amen
@jannadav1604 3 жыл бұрын
I am leaving a 40 year relationship with someone unable to respect me. exactly. be ruthless about not being co-dependent.
@monikaballah931 3 жыл бұрын
yup
@TeeGeeBee83 3 жыл бұрын
Love this!!!!
@brightpage1020 3 жыл бұрын
Taking notes. Your videos in 1 day have already begun to help save my marriage connection from the threat of an affair. Our 8 years married, 11 together, and our 4 kids thank you. Your advice is so immediately actionable. Appreciated.
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much!! I really appreciate hearing that from you.🤗❤️
@TheAttractionTriggers 4 ай бұрын
*Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.*
@Mat_Shaffer 4 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing!
@denisehellmann9712 3 жыл бұрын
The first 2 things you talk about is what I want from a man. I want respect, I want space to do the things (hobbies I do) I want him to ask me about what I do and be interested. If he is not interested in what I do....then I will not be interested in his life. If he tries to get in the way of my passion...he will have to go. I want to feel he is interested in my life. My love language is touch also. I don't need to be thanked for taking out the trash ...that is what needs to be done to keep a household. I am not his mother and should not have to ask him to do basic things.
@Mat_Shaffer 3 жыл бұрын
yes a lot of what we both want in relationship is fundamentally the same! :)
@denisehellmann9712 3 жыл бұрын
Yes it works Both ways. I’ve been talking to a man on a dating site he has never once asked about me and what I like and what my passions are. It’s all about him. I will not be going out on a date with him.
@stormchylde3999 3 жыл бұрын
@@denisehellmann9712 Unfortunately that is extremely common with men you meet online.
@Angel-tv5lq 3 жыл бұрын
It does no harm whatsoever to thank your partner if you’ve started to do the recycling and he comes in as u get a call and once your finished he’s done ALL the recycling and cleaned the household bin, washed dishes, dried & put away etc etc. I have ZERO tolerance for NO appreciation but as with children, if you want to receive certain behaviors then you must first show what you expect and if he takes it for granted then you explain it... very simple. That way you’re clearly paying attention to him and what he does = 2 in 1 bonus 😁 It’s not called the game of Love for nothing, like it or not Love is a game but you can very easily take a major part of the game out of the Love by good communication and appreciation. It works 🙌🏼
@wordsculpt 3 жыл бұрын
Spot on!
@MsAnchovey 3 жыл бұрын
Its sooo easy to do all these things. What's difficult is receiving them back from him. It's always that I'm so respectful, emotionally involved and there for him etc etc bit not getting it in return. Ug!! Dating myself now, and feel so good about my relationship with me, I think I'll pop the question soon! 💍👸
@BravoMentoraAmerica 3 жыл бұрын
Yes I agree. Things has to do with both.
@jolanieamparo2142 2 жыл бұрын
Already did everything as what he said but it just made me feel been taken for granted coz i made him so secured with my feelings for him (were not official with the "relationship" title but he keeps on telling me im more than a friend to him.. Dont know what to feel 🤔
@claire33ism 2 жыл бұрын
Same here
@richerDiLefto 10 ай бұрын
@@jolanieamparo2142 By saying you’re “more than friends” but not being in an official relationship with you, he’s keeping you on the back burner (but just close enough to keep you around) and considering other dating options. I’d be careful not to invest too much in this guy if I were you.
@Mat_Shaffer 4 ай бұрын
Thanks so much for your feedback!
@kyliebaby1391 3 жыл бұрын
So true my man was very worried about his emotional side until I showed him how safe he was to open up and that I’d be supportive. Before we even got together he asked what I saw in him and amongst his positives I said I always see us together doing fun silly stuff like dancing in the street because we both thought about a song, generally being playful like we were the only ppl on the planet and we do but it was a big plus for him as he knew he could just be himself. He also asked “if I could give you anything what would it be” my reply “just be yourself!” He laughed and said “you could’ve had anything” I laughed and said “that is everything!” Since then we’ve been inseparable even though we live apart. We’re always excited to see each other even on Skype then in person we continue the fun. I’m usually cautious about touch but I knew his touch was genuine and he wasn’t trying it on so I felt comfortable reciprocating his touch.
@ladybug2267 3 жыл бұрын
That's beautiful!
@cyberliesl6004 2 жыл бұрын
That is so precious and rare found!!
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Awesome!! Kylie Baby❤️
@iwantmylauren 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Matt!!! 🙌🙌🙌
@Mat_Shaffer 3 жыл бұрын
so welcome Lauren!! :)
@Dr.Thandi Ай бұрын
1. Respect; 2. Acknowledge; 3. Safety; 4. Excitement
@Mat_Shaffer Ай бұрын
Thanks so much for your feedback!
@Iamacollage 3 жыл бұрын
I realized recently I don't know how to let the man be the driver of the relationship, I was so used to dating guys who never made much effort and left everything up to me, that I'll just automatically think I have to plan what we will do on our next date and meanwhile my amazing boyfriend has already got something lovely planned...I'm learning to step back and let him plan nice dates and take care of me and be appreciative of that, but I'm so not used to it, so I still feel a little awkward at times letting him take care of me and spoil me!
@Mat_Shaffer 6 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing!
@barbdrenth3460 3 жыл бұрын
This is the best information put together in one session. It summarizes a successful Relationship connection with the building blocks.
@Mat_Shaffer 3 жыл бұрын
YES appreciate that feedback so much Barb!!
@leisaobrien9979 3 жыл бұрын
@@Mat_Shaffer I shared this to as many of my beautiful friends here in Australia 🦘 you're not just a saviour to us woman but I'm sure the men in our lives want to thank you as well! Keep up the great work 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
@doricronin1745 Жыл бұрын
As a women, I ask myself, who's telling the men out there how to respect me, or acknowledge my actions, or make me feel safe? I'm looking for a relationship where we are equal partners who try hard to meet the others needs. I guess I expect to much from the experts, who are all men, to even open their mind, that women have needs too.
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
I promise there are good guys out there my dear! Don't give up on love sister. ❤️
@frankG335 8 ай бұрын
There are plenty of female love coaches, and coaches telling men what he has to do.
@Liz-in8lu 6 ай бұрын
100% agree. Seems like we have to do so much and the men get away scot-free because they’re a man and don’t have to put effort in.
@keepitmoving4692 25 күн бұрын
@@Mat_Shaffermen should be given advice on how to treat women. Most of these videos are usually about what to do for a man.
@micheledespland2161 3 жыл бұрын
If you want aman to be attached , treat him as you would. Treat your dog : lots. Of cuddles , hugging , touching , feeding , warmth , love in fact !
@DANIELLASMASSAGE 3 жыл бұрын
Lmao. Tru That!
@niicolereneeb9034 3 жыл бұрын
Some is not enough for them
@wordsculpt 3 жыл бұрын
You forgot food. Both animals respond well to food.
@Z8terfix 3 жыл бұрын
@@wordsculpt 😂
@christianpulisic7784 3 жыл бұрын
Michele Despland,You got a lovely smile 😊
@Esther-yp5ni 2 жыл бұрын
I love how you recap your videos, to make sure we get it. Love that.
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad you enjoy it!
@felicitygrace5113 3 жыл бұрын
My primary love language is physical touch too and your descriptions hit home hard fighting tears back because I identify wanting that when im with my date.. and realised how much it was missing in my previous relationship... 😔
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
It’s 100% possible to heal and create something new
@beautifulyou5588 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the video! Great information, I just feel like as women we are having to “raise“ a man. Maybe it’s just me but I feel like we have to dance around a man’s sensitive emotions but as women we have had to “toughen up.” Once you add in work and kids and marriage and all of life‘s responsibilities remembering to RASE our man becomes another thing “to get done” on a women’s never ending chore list. I understand these are important things to facilitate connection however if the women is so caught up in raising children, cleaning up after everyone, working etc, it will fall by the wayside and men need to get over it and grow a sense of self and boost their own self-esteem. Just as women have had to get over it and do the inner work. Just my opinion but I love what you do Mat, you have great energy, keep up the great work!
@Mat_Shaffer 3 жыл бұрын
appreciate it so much!!
@claraht.6999 3 жыл бұрын
This is about him or them.
@susankeyter1052 2 жыл бұрын
Why must men always be shu-shu! Otherwise their emotions will be hurt!
@LEfaHB 2 жыл бұрын
Not every woman has to raise their man. That may be your personal experience and observation, but not all men are out of touch with their own emotions. The newer generations only become more emotionally sensitive, for better or worse.
@dianneciresi7208 10 ай бұрын
Well stated & very true..
@cherylkapitzke9846 Жыл бұрын
This was very enlightening because I really didn't know what I was doing to make him/them feel so deeply about/for me. (and things past boyfriends have said about me and to me) I was just being myself. I guess I didn't feel like I was doing anything spectacular. I was being genuine and real. I guess that is just who I am and apparently that is what they liked. :)
@Mat_Shaffer 11 ай бұрын
Amazing!
@svasianfilipiname6603 3 жыл бұрын
Why are relationships so complicated??! To the point I question if they are even WORTH IT!
@bibsann861 3 жыл бұрын
I didn't find it that hard.
@raularmas317 3 жыл бұрын
I believe relationships have become so complicated as you put it bc of the fictional stories about relationships that have been passed down through generations that do not effectively represent the truth. The truth being too many relationships (Parent-Child) are based on over-the-top kind of fear and mis- information (rather than intentional lies) that is used to gain immediate control rather than taking the time to effectively model and teach self-control. People who don't have self-control can not make truly independent choices and therefore they lack the freedom so needed to make decisive and good long-term choices for themselves and others.
@rockyayce6485 26 күн бұрын
Relationship are complicated for you because your in the wrong relationships 🤷🏾♂️
@morningglory9288 14 күн бұрын
Relationships are hard work. We need to understand how our other half is feeling. Some days he/she can be in a bad mood and take things out on you. We have to learn not to aggravate their temperament by lashing out, but allow them to let off steam and you be a sounding board. Knowing when to speak and when to shut up is something I've had to learn. Also I need to be more affectionate, something I've always had trouble expressing.
@MULUCAUAC 2 жыл бұрын
That is ríght only when you meet an healty person emocionally be careful about the person you accept in your life
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Interesting perspective, thanks so much!
@sweetculpa3570 3 жыл бұрын
The emotional thing is so important. Thanks for the great advice. I appreciate it so much! I just started dating again after my divorce and I see it now.
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
You are so welcome!! Don't give up on love, Sweet.❤️
@sallycrider5528 3 жыл бұрын
I've done all of this! I'm defeated! I stay alone now because I always get left behind. They always try to come back but I won't be treated that way. I have learned so much by being alone. I won't play that stupid love game again!
@Mat_Shaffer 6 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing!
@rockyayce6485 26 күн бұрын
You haven't done it with the right person
@yourfriend8479 18 күн бұрын
I sense that you are a very caring, giving person. Good qualities
@susanmohaghegh7218 3 жыл бұрын
OUTSTANDING advice, Mat!! Thank you SO very much!! Keep up your excellence! 🌺
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Thank you! Will do!
@QueenBee-gp1jr 3 жыл бұрын
After consuming similar content for years, I came to the conclusion that it's better to invest in myself and to love myself. Relationships are too complicated. Life is good now
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
AMAZING love that share!! :)
@kimobrien5523 3 жыл бұрын
I have found that a long hug and a kiss, for example for sending flowers, goes a long way towards increasing the attraction for each other!
@christianpulisic7784 3 жыл бұрын
Kim Grogan,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌷 dear
@shadiap Жыл бұрын
TRUE
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Absolutely right!
@kristenmoonrise 3 жыл бұрын
Great info, Mat! I'll rewatch this a few times to really let it sink in! 😄
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Thanks so much my dear!
@janetteknox5149 2 жыл бұрын
Great video Mat. Advised a friend to watch your video. Before watching, she was unable to get her husband to do tasks around the house. She practiced the R and A and he responded awesomely. After that, she got good at the S and he responded with E! Thanks!
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad it helped!
@cynthiaholmes4400 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Mat; wise sharing - real and inspiring!
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it!
@noubaddi8567 2 жыл бұрын
From attorney to this? That is a story I will love to hear! Probably others too! You really found your thing. Good for you!
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.
@larzg9873 3 жыл бұрын
Aww i love your video Matt! The content, audio, video, editing, quality, your wisdom, advices and everything..I hope and I will wait for the next videos you will upload. These would be a great help to us ladies to have an idea about the well being of men. Thanks for this Matt!
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Thanks so much!!
@jacquelinenoel2992 3 жыл бұрын
Mat Shaffer is a very intelligent man. I always enjoy his vlogs. Thank you, Mat! 🌹
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad you like them!
@lex28lush10 3 жыл бұрын
Good grief. Having a man is quite handful. It's like having a son.. Hard work at times.
@ceciliaramoscastillo2809 3 жыл бұрын
That sounds horrible... 🙃🙃🙃
@sudsar6830 3 жыл бұрын
😁😁
@monikaballah931 3 жыл бұрын
lol right
@bibsann861 3 жыл бұрын
No its not that hard.
@brooklyn3299 3 жыл бұрын
It’s like having a teenage kid in a mans body.. what a turn off.
@jvnd2785 3 жыл бұрын
Actually, the best way is to give him all that and then leave 😎 Pack your things, say "good riddance" and walk away. Men do not value what they have until they lose it.
@nebulanigrimleonis3883 3 жыл бұрын
I don;t think that trick works on attractive, quality men. Maybe a guy with few options.
@jvnd2785 3 жыл бұрын
@@nebulanigrimleonis3883, it works exceptionally well on attractive, quality men in particular. And by attractive, I mean men with practical skills and integrity, not a baby face with a career.
@blank1505 3 жыл бұрын
Not valuing what we have until it’s gone is, unfortunately and annoyingly, human nature.
@latelengn 3 жыл бұрын
@@nebulanigrimleonis3883 they think they are the price that's why.
@Tnc874 3 жыл бұрын
Lol.. facts.. or maybe just give him his space and have a life that doesnt involve him and that u dont answer a whole buncha questions about
3 жыл бұрын
I'm usually my best friends teddy bear, the one they always lean on, but it also made me the mayor of the friends zone with my friend the crush
@Mat_Shaffer 5 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing!
@annettelozano5232 3 жыл бұрын
Love this RASE thing. This video is more than just how-to magnets, but something like a book to understand men more in a video form. I learned a lot. Thank you! This one made me subscribe.
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it!
@Holistretch 3 жыл бұрын
Nice! I agree with that men need women to help them feel safe expressing themselves. My partner finds it extremely difficult to vocalize his feelings and so I’ve been super vulnerable and expressive and listen to him. It has definitely helped us get closer! 💞
@kimalex9945 3 жыл бұрын
What=Zapp=Him=Via=
@kimalex9945 3 жыл бұрын
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@kimalex9945 3 жыл бұрын
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@kimalex9945 3 жыл бұрын
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@16Sirens Жыл бұрын
I used to do this with my male best friend, and he opened up. He was happier, although he was 😱 to open up and be vulnerable - he was not ready. Now, he wants to come back and find out more about where our connection can be. Yes, we need to 'play '......and find that magic 🎩 ✨️ ♥️❤️🔥🎯
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Good luck Sonja🙏❤️✨
@nyaphoenix286 3 жыл бұрын
I want to thank you for sharing your advice. I would screw up great relationships because I'm reaction off emotions from childhood and previous relationships. Your videos have shown me that everything I naturally do is OK but my mistake was not knowing how to see the love language of men. Totally different than women. I'm so happy and peaceful now. Thank you!
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
I'm glad to be of service!! Thanks for sharing, It's a great connection. ❤️
@VictoriaJ7 3 жыл бұрын
You wisdom had truly impacted my life, Mat! Thank you!
@christianpulisic7784 3 жыл бұрын
patriotgirlvictoria,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!!
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
My pleasure!
@brynndockstader6549 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks, Mat, for another fantastic video!!!
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Thanks so much my dear!
@tinareo9779 3 жыл бұрын
Loved this! Thank you, Mat
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it!
@ladyjei 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for such applicable and actionable steps! Wonderful explanations. Thank you
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
So glad my content supports you 🙂
@ljroberts3739 3 жыл бұрын
You are exceptional, Matt!!!!
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad to hear that.
@debrafullerton3319 3 жыл бұрын
I do everything that you have said to my lover in this video automatically and believe me it WORKS 😊Thank you Matt
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
You're so welcome!
@merlinespinosa3967 3 жыл бұрын
Really appreciate everything you shared. Find it very interesting, thank you so much. More power be blessed.
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it!
@bellakim9404 2 жыл бұрын
Treat men as if they are the Pet that you love. When he does well, its 'good boy', when you need something, its 'go fetch', when you want company, 'come here', & when you want to play, go get the leash and collar and he'll understand... Men & dogs are not that different 😊
@ruthfernandez8801 2 жыл бұрын
So funny but good ☺️
@Mat_Shaffer 9 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing!
@rikkibowman3196 2 жыл бұрын
This helped me understand why men get so attached to my personality. I appreciate being able to see this from all sides. Thank you !
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad I could help!
@marian1427 2 ай бұрын
Can you give samples that made men attached to your personality?
@rikkibowman3196 2 ай бұрын
@@marian1427 I find it generally comes down to kindness and the way I handle myself, this gets confused for flirtation and interest. I had to stop feeling like I needed let everyone have access to me, or that I needed to carry on conversations out of obligation. This comment was from 2 years ago so I haven’t watched this video since. Hopefully that explains things !
@marrygiles9185 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you very much for a simple explanation yet very informative. 😊
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad you like it!
@user-vr9bq6mq1u 4 ай бұрын
Love the way you talk so joyfully...really light up with giggles in between your talks🎉🎉
@vanessahorvat2824 Жыл бұрын
Wow, Mat, I just found you by accident, and have now just watched a bunch of your stuff back-to-back! Your advice is super insightful, and you’re crazy endearing to boot! Subscribed, and I look forward to powering through more! :).
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Love to hear that Vanessa! Let me know what topics you would like me to explore more!
@Jane-dl3te 3 жыл бұрын
Really like what you are teaching here Matt. At the same time I don’t want to feel like I have a job to constantly be fulfilling him and pleasing him. What does this look like in the reverse. In other words a reciprocal way.
@Mat_Shaffer 7 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing!
@nancyraga5509 3 жыл бұрын
Great information and delivery of the content!! Great job! Thanks
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.
@Janet1975 Жыл бұрын
Thank you! This is tremendously helpful and I think it came across my screen at the perfect time. I just started dating a guy and the more I hang out with him the more I like him which is very scary. Your intro. on how men’s emotions are different then ours was very insightful and helpful. RASE makes sense and I think I’ve been doing these things already, but I could easily do more. We are very new so there’s no title to what we are yet and I don’t live with him obviously, but I’m going to take this acronym and apply it more. I do acknowledge things (his positive and negative feelings) all the time because we text everyday.
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Many thanks!
@karentranter7806 3 жыл бұрын
Hi Matt, Great advice. There is nothing more off putting than being needy. If you tell a man to pursue what they like doing and encourage them to spend time with their friends and in the things they enjoy doing. Thanks again Matt xxx 💝
@christianpulisic7784 3 жыл бұрын
Karen Tranter,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌷,hope you are with a good man!!
@christianpulisic7784 3 жыл бұрын
@@karentranter7806 You are welcome dearest 🌹🌷🌷😍.I am Christian from the States.You?
@christianpulisic7784 3 жыл бұрын
@@karentranter7806 Wow!!😍😍😍😍,are you on Hangouts or Gmail so we can always talk?
@christianpulisic7784 3 жыл бұрын
@@karentranter7806 I'm not on WhatsApp,give me your Gmail let me inbox you
@christianpulisic7784 3 жыл бұрын
@@karentranter7806 Give me your WhatsApp number
@cassandragates9272 3 жыл бұрын
That really was exciting to know Matt!:-)
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad you like it!
@keliagudze7382 2 жыл бұрын
Very well crafted. First time here and I love how explanatory this is. Simple and clear to grasp. Thanks
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Awesome, thank you!
@annstar2793 3 жыл бұрын
Super helpful info, and thank you for the real life examples as well ! Women also need the same in respect, appreciation and acknowledgement. Where is the Mat Schaffer for the men ?
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@larsstougaard7097 3 жыл бұрын
As a man I approve of this message😎
@Mat_Shaffer 3 жыл бұрын
HA so glad it resonates brother! :)
@gemma9073 3 жыл бұрын
Matt thankyou for your help , I thought I'd blown it with a guy , He had told me he was Always busy with work , and I got fed up (and paranoid as I've heard that all before ) He seemed different from the others though ....honest and genuine , Anyway , I finished things , Then had doubts and wanted to Not ....finish things , He was genuine and honest again towards me.......he must work hard , because he really did suffer during this global pandemic., He took the time to explain he Work busy schedule Again. And I praised him for his good communication, and told him about my past upsets( regarding men who make up excuses when they don't want to see you ) I expressed that I think he is genuine and honest , and intelligent (to be able to explain emotionally ) He responded well , We are back on track I feel, And now ..... On with R A S E ...... THANKYOU Matt Shaffer, You are clear and genuine I really appreciate what you do , to help Women and Men 💗💕💞💗
@ada-lizbeskalis7304 3 жыл бұрын
Hi dear Matt!!! It's great to see you here and you look great and I am happy to see you are doing well thanks for always thinking of us ladies. I'm
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Thank you! You too!
@tarabyaa 3 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad I found this video 🌞 I love the RASE method 👍🏻
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Fantastic! Thanks so much!
@GroUrOwnLadyTender 3 жыл бұрын
We as women, need to be respected in the work force.
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
I totally agree
@kiradomochi4961 10 ай бұрын
Yes, my manager is a woman. It's great she knows her stuff and is well respected.
@Magdol 3 жыл бұрын
Jeez, Who has time to praise someone or make them constantly feel confident. I am not someone's mother. LOL
@Mat_Shaffer 8 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing!
@florindamartinez1747 3 жыл бұрын
Thank You for all of these suggestions that have open my eyes. Some of your suggestions seem so valuable that I will keep them in mind.
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful!
@phebejimenez296 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks Matt! This video is awesome!
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad you liked it!
@joannelewis8038 3 жыл бұрын
He needs to be capable of feeling that feeling
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Good point!
@jinna0512 3 жыл бұрын
You don’t seem complicated and I find that attractive. Also, you make men’s needs understandable.
@christianpulisic7784 3 жыл бұрын
Jinn A,You look stunning 🌹🌷
@jinna0512 3 жыл бұрын
@@christianpulisic7784 thank you 😊 so so much! Such a nice compliment has made my Saturday extra special! I hope yours is as well. Jinn
@jinna0512 3 жыл бұрын
@@christianpulisic7784 jinna512@ yahoo.com Dallas County, Texas. Paralegal Photo-journalist
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much dear! :)
@kf4670 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you! I'm really enjoying your videos!
@Mat_Shaffer 2 жыл бұрын
so glad you're enjoying them!!
@ChrysopigiGreece 3 жыл бұрын
Oh Matt! You are just amazing! RESPECT! You have put everything so well and easy to grasp! Thank you! You deserve the best! 🌼
@mannimafi1222 3 жыл бұрын
Whstapp him
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
I appreciate that!
@Mooncat222 2 жыл бұрын
I do believe unless people are open to receive love it doesn’t matter what you say or do they will not open up and women too - have to work on yourself ✨💖 some men are just hard work -- walk away !
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Well said!
@Starry-zy8bb Жыл бұрын
This was very helpful in telling me that I'm on the right track. I need to do a better job of asking him how he feels about things, and maybe a little more physical contact, but I think I'm doing a pretty good job of everything else. Thank you! You've put my mind at ease a little. Question: what do you do if you both clearly like each other, and you want to be in an official boyfriend-girlfriend relationship? I'm very stuck on how to approach this.
@suzanwahlquist3258 10 ай бұрын
So a man doesn't have to ask his female. Partner How Her day went?
@AnnaLjungqvist51 3 жыл бұрын
Amazing video! Thank you Mat :)
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad you liked it!
@shaniaa9287 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for your video Mat. First time watching them 😊
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Welcome! Thanks for watching🙂
@mariarossi6719 3 жыл бұрын
I'd love to see another video with you and Helena Hart.
@Mat_Shaffer 3 жыл бұрын
more will be coming! I am gonna have her on my channel soon! :)
@mariarossi6719 3 жыл бұрын
@@Mat_Shaffer Brilliant. Wonderful news. Double the wisdom!
@carolinapaez 3 жыл бұрын
This is so valuable!!! Thank you so much 💙💙💙
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful!
@RommyFallas Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this great advice 💗💗
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
You are so welcome!
@Sunny08me 10 ай бұрын
Thank you this is such a great video. We take things for granted and it is very important to be reminded of . I love the way you explain things in a simple and clear way.
@Mat_Shaffer 10 ай бұрын
You are so welcome!
@normamckay1509 3 жыл бұрын
I met a guy through dating site and he’s interested in what I do even want to join me in my church so I appreciate him, give him hugs and kisses and eventually we fall in love even through chatting online, it’s nice feeling to be love and he sent me red roses every day I wake up and will come to marry me after his contact of work.
@Mat_Shaffer 6 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing!
@kimgordon3695 3 жыл бұрын
Respect * give him space to create (Ask * about his plans & dreams) Acknowledge * EVERYTHING 💝 POSITIVE FEELING STATEMENT'S SUPPORT HIM in PRACTICAL WAY'S aka listen/follow thru...This is what emotional safety is! 💝 Finally E = EXCITEMENT (PLAY)
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Great tips!
@lorlisaburlat9352 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Matt...its a lot of help for me
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad to hear it!
@kimallen2440 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Matt! I think I’m on the right track.
@christianpulisic7784 3 жыл бұрын
Kimmy Allen,I admire your lovely smile 😊!!
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Yes you are!
@beatricebliss9379 3 жыл бұрын
Men need Appreciation first of all, for what they do and how they think. Everybody needs respect, but it is primarily a feminine need...and a "desert" for men. Also, mens' need for space is part of their Acceptance need. They also need to feel Trusted by the women they love.
@Mat_Shaffer 5 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing!
@kiradomochi4961 10 ай бұрын
Men should take these advice too.
@Mat_Shaffer 10 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing!
@eveemac373 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this, Matt.
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
My pleasure!
@jemps6794 10 ай бұрын
This is such a grrat checklist to reflect against. Can really help me to see where my strengthe are as well as my weaknesses ❤😊
@Mat_Shaffer 10 ай бұрын
Glad you like it I hope it helps:)
@loj3268 3 жыл бұрын
Definitely not things you should do with a toxic or unhealthy partner.. actual love is not part of the equation in these “relationships.” Just leave those relationships, get healthy yourself, and then attract a health person, it will feel more authentic and reciprocated that way. 🙃
@Mat_Shaffer 5 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing!
@itssawida 3 жыл бұрын
We are all given emotions, so are all hard wired to want to feel emotionally safe, pathology aside. For me to feel emotional safety, I had to begin with exploring my relationship with vulnerability as the lack of that was one key way I was blocking that strong sense of connection and belonging that I desire in all relationships. Our walls come down and hearts open when we're courageous to do the inner work as well.
@Mat_Shaffer 9 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing!
@m.frances965 3 жыл бұрын
Lovely message ... R A S E ...Got it ... Thanks Matt !❣🖒
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
You are so welcome
@kakaeculbertson564 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Matt. I appreciate you sharing. 💖
@christianpulisic7784 3 жыл бұрын
Kakae Culbertson,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!!
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
You're very welcome.
@carolineackroyd9027 3 жыл бұрын
Mat, you excite me about having a new relationship! I celebrate & respect what you do. I'm also passionate about empowering women, showing them how enough and beautiful they are, then coaching them with what that looks like, feels like, from eating healthy, exercising to choosing friends & men that are worthy of them. I love your message, your passion shines through. And I do recommend they watch you once they are strong to their core, feeling enough, in love with themselves & ready to "get out there" once their self-love axis is established. ❤ xx
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
BOOM thanks my dear so glad you enjoyed it! :) 🥰
@laurasee5435 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your message. How about when things go wrong, such as he is loving you while chasing after someone else. Yes, we drop him is the answer, but it would be good if you could talk about this area as well. Otherwise it is only about falling in love, but falling in love is not always smooth for example. There are millions of things going on during dating. It would be appreciated if you could discuss this at some point. Thanks!
@brokenwing1243 Жыл бұрын
Let him go
@Mat_Shaffer 4 ай бұрын
Interesting perspective, thanks so much!
@beautifulnono8389 10 ай бұрын
Amazing advices.. Thank you Mat 🙏🏼
@Mat_Shaffer 10 ай бұрын
My pleasure!
@lornabookout5286 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks! Those are mind opening!😊❤️
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Glad you like them!
@enelrahcreivaj 3 жыл бұрын
Aside from the sexy corona hair, I really like how detailed your videos are so as the description box with complete timestamps! Keep up the good work, I'm listening! #howareyoufeeling
@Mat_Shaffer Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! ❤
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