they say “it’s because you’re a teenager” but they don’t realize that’s the hardest years for anyone and it can cause a lot of issues

arguing with my parents: •explaining my side: “stop giving excuses” •staying quiet: “dont you want to say anything” •saying sorry: “dont say sorry if you dont mean it”

When you grow up and realize that you were probably emotionally abused most of your life but you can’t do anything about it because no one would believe you because your abuser is ‘so nice’

I found that emotional abuse is really hard to prove. So it often gets ignored.

The worst part about emotional abuse is you think it is normal. It hides in plain sight. If you've grown up with people like this all your life, then you attract more people like this and you don't even know it's a problem until way WAY too late. You just get this aching feeling something is wrong but you can't pinpoint it, so to cope you try to ignore it, but ignoring doesn't make it go away. It just allows it to get worse. I've spent most of my life having to come to terms with the emotional abuse I've endured at the hands of my parents, grandparents, and now in-laws. You think, "oh, since these are the main people in my life, everyone must be like this secretly." BUT NO. There are actually people who DON'T emotionally abuse, you just don't know that because your world view is so narrow. You see glimpses of it when you are invited to that one friends house and you see how your friend interacts with their family and you just think, "They are so nice to each other. They must just be pretending because I'm here. If I weren't here, it'd be different. They couldn't possibly be like this all the time, right??" Thanks for discussing these things. I've really learned a lot watching your channel!! I wish you were MY therapist!! ❤️

I’m afraid to tell my parents anything because whatever I tell them they use against me Is it just me who had this problem ?

1. Being degraded 2. Someone dominates/controls your life 3. Acusing & blaming you 4. Neglect 5. Enmeshment or codependence

Mom: "If you tell me the truth I won't get mad" Me: Tells the truth Mom: gets mad Me: :o

They never take responsibility for ANYTHING. It's always someone else's fault. They are notorious for blaming their bad behavior on others. Blame shifters.

my mother makes me feel like i cannot be myself around her. she is very judgmental and i feel very uncomfortable and humiliated when she speaks to me.

My mum always tells me to stop fake crying when I’m having a genuine mental breakdown when I need comfort.

How parents see things: Being upset=sensitive. Needing help with school work=stupid. Not liking foods=ungrateful. Devices= unsuccessful future. When you do this to a child they probably feel this. Being upset: being wrong. Needing help with schoolwork= being a burden. Not liking foods=not deserving of food. Devices= only way to enjoy something.

let us all run away from our parents 🙌

it’s so hard. because he’s my *dad*. i _have_ to love him. and sometimes he’s nice. sometimes he not. sometimes he’s loving. sometimes he’s scary. sometimes he’s caring. sometimes he’s abusive. it’s so hard. and i don’t know what’s normal anymore

As a growing teenage girl having an emotional abusive mother was the most soul crushing, painful thing I have EVER experienced & will most likely never recover x

1. Being degraded, put down, mocked, sarcastic, gaslighting, telling me I don't feel how I said I feel. 2. someone dominates or controls your life. treats you like a child 3. accusing and blaming 4. neglect, stonewall, silent treatment 5. Enmeshment, co depentance, parentification, telling info kids should not know

I had a friend like this. Friendships can be abusive too.

This pisses me off so much. I was innocent and they made it seem so normal but as I got older it hit me how crazy they were and how broken I am and now I how to convince myself everyday to end it or to keep trying.

This reminds me of my dad... 100% he struggled to apologize, wouldn’t consider my feelings, made me feel like I was always wrong, he would degrade me, would belittle me, call me the black sheep to others, lack of empathy, didn’t want a relationship with me but blamed me for not having one with him, etc.....Growing up I became a version of my dad, and the only way I discovered I was doing this subconsciously was when I started therapy and started working as a foster care advocator. I learned a lot about myself and my trauma. People don’t realize the cycle of trauma and how it affects us when we are older. It’s up to you to be aware and change. This video really resonates with me. ❤️ thank you

This is my mother exactly. Know that I am an adult and realize how she treated me. I am truly disgusted. I pray for children who grow up emotionally abused.

Parents say that they're "protecting" me... but in reality they hurt me with their words and actions...

It's sad that most people don't know the difference between parenting and abuse, discipline and abuse, they have nothing in common. Nothing 😶

It ruined my entire life

I don’t want to agree that I’m being emotionally abused I don’t want to believe that.

You just described my mum perfectly

I see abusive behavior developing in abuse victims. My grandparents got abused themselves, they abused their kids, my father now abuses me/my brother. The worst is I can even find myself being abusive towards others. So I feel abusers raise abusers. At least I can notice it in myself, be concious, and change it. But I need to get away from him.

I just hurts people saying *It's hard to think that so many people are being abused* When you know that this is happening to you and they feel so loved by their parents.

I’m 28 years old and just realized that mom has always been emotionally abusive to me and still is! 😔

Sometimes the sign of emotional abuse is to completely ignore us. In conversation they ignore you as if you are invisible. One of the most covert ways of ignoring is acting like what you said was not worthy of notice, while they listen to everyone else in the room.

Woah thanks mom, you're exactly like this :) thanks for making me feel like shit.

“I’m trans” “no you’re not. I know what you are. you’ll always be *deadname*, you’ll never be able to escape it” my mom has outed me to so many adults in my life, including my youth group leader, my nana, my cousins, and she never told me. i started crying and she was like “i’m just trying to help you.” and she made herself the victim

Hi everyone. I am a random person but you are loved ❤️ by me and many others. Don’t let negative people get to you. You need to hear this, you are special. Beautiful and smart! And loved ❤️.

My mom: • Blames me for fights we have • I always have to say sorry • I get no affection if I "did something wrong" • Gets suuuuuper mad when I tell her how I feel or what I think about her My family: • Always chooses my moms side • Always chooses my sisters side • Favors my sister Is this emotional abuse? Because I get really depressed about it and I became shy and closed because of it and I am scared to talk about it with not even them, but even to friends. I have no one to talk to. About what they do. What can I do? Sometimes I even get the feeling she regrets having me the past months

it's sad how much i can relate to this

My father constantly reminds me that he pays for a car and that he pays for a roof over my head, but he sees it as an excuse to treat me horribly. It hurts every time, because what can I do? I can’t do anything.

I grew being physical, mental, emotional abuse. It’s so sad. My father expected to me to function and be ok in my early life as a young adult

I can't believe so many people are victims of abuse. This is all new to me and I'm in my 40's.. Lord please help us

They also tell you they were just joking when you get angry at something they've said to you.

I would also add gaslighting, which for those who do not know is when someone is trying to make you think you are insane. They will make you believe that your memories are wrong and you can't trust your own mind and that you are insane. There are some phrases a gaslighter MIGHT say: "That's not what happened." "You are remembering that wrong." "You/I never did that." "You are crazy." "You are so sensitive." "It is your fault I did this."

Emotional abuse can go unnoticed by therapists. You don't realize it's something wrong. You think there is nothing wrong until someone points out the truth.

I've just realised I'm being emotionally abused nearly every day of my life

This video has me literally in tears.... My mother has done each of those things to me and told me it was my fault and I was a horrible, disobedient child, and has literally told me she wished she never had me. I'm 33 and still cry just at the thought of how emotionally horrific my childhood was... She even recruited my sisters to treat me the same way. I never understood why she hated me so much ... There were days I wished someone would just kill me... I never knew that this was reportable. I never knew I needed help until this moment. I just thought I had to be stronger...

I've had no shortage of emotional abusers in my life. I think I can count on one hand the people who have treated me kindly.

I was stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship for seven years. It's so much better on the other side!

Man... It must be super scary to have a relationship or someone like this in my life.. I'm so sorry for anyone who struggles with emotional abuse. You're not alone, you're stronger than you think you are ! :)

Who wants to report their parents? I was rarely aloud to go out, and along with my severe confidence issues and social anxiety I had no friends. No family on this entire half of the country, I was literally ALONE. I find it hard to move out at 20 because I don't know how to make my own decisions, I was always told I was making the wrong ones or belittled and met with disgust for every mistake. I don't know how to live without them, I feel naked and cold and afraid. I literally cannot see myself leaving this house with no one to help me, I'm so unsure of myself...

When you’re emotionally abused, belittled, and one day you pop and lash out, is that bad? I mean at that point are you even wrong? Are you abusive? Has the table turned

My parents haven’t emotionally abused me but my older sister definitely has throughout my childhood, I never realized that it was emotional abuse. But at the same time, my sister was and still is emotionally abused by my father.

1- YES 2- yes 3- yes 4- YES 5- yes

When I callout my mom for being degraded to me she tells me than I being disrespectful and another people still defends her and says I being disrespectful

This describes my nana. People think she’s a sweet innocent grandma, but she puts on an act around others. If I were to tell someone else, they probably wouldn’t believe me.

This perfectly describes my twin sister. Even the rest of my family sometimes. It’s hard to be an emotional person in a family of people who see sensitivity as a sign of weakness

I'm going to distance myself starting now...because I'm over it.

I sent this to my mother and she took away all of my electronics and grounded me

I was in a relationship with someone who was constantly emotionally abusing me. It was a nightmare. He manipulated me into thinking everything was my fault. Blamed me for his wrong doings. Degraded me a lot and was very controlling. I’m still healing from it. Put me down a lot and judged me a lot as well. He had no remorse for his consistency for hurting me. There are days where I just feel so numb to the core and there are days I feel okay. I felt so numb when he broke up with me.. I guess I made so many excuses for him because sometimes love makes you really blind.. but I learned and I’m just glad to just be able to wake up everyday knowing I’m free and at peace. But seriously a person does not have to hit you to call it abuse. Emotional abuse is just as bad.

The worst part about abuse and neglect, and the effects of it, is how people treat you and talk about you, like 'what's wrong with that person?', or 'they're weird'. Since they never saw/experienced the things that fucked you up inside, and so it must be your own fault for being that way... It really sets one up for failure in this society, and dealing with 'normal' people.

What about emotionally abusive moms who abuse the shit out of you then play the innocent role by saying "You know I love you, I say these things out of love". Then when you question whether they love you or not they say "If I didn't love you I wouldn't be taking care of you, buying you clothes, video games, etc." I love my mom but deep down inside I have some type of hatred for her. My brother and my father also do but my mother doesn't understand why we act the way we act around her. Me and my brother are very defiant and talk back A LOT (Still do till this day and I'm 19 and he's 25). Nobody who TRULY knows my mom wants to be around her. She struggles to have friends. She doesn't have many so she's always in the house nagging at me or my father for dumb shit. She wouldn't say this but I know that sometimes when my friends wanted to hang out she wouldn't let me go with them just so she wouldn't be alone or something along those lines.

I have been emotionally abused for my whole life by my mom. I have zero self confidence and I hate myself even more everyday. I tried talking to my teacher about it, who to talked to my mom. Later that day, she got out a whip and hit me until I bled. Please help me because I don't know what to do, I'm 15 and I've honestly had enough. Please help.

when she said "this doesn't define us" I brike in tears sknce so often I felt like pple only see my parents but not me and all of this was accurate. It was like sth. I needed to hesr this doesn't define me its in the past

I grew up having emotional abusive parents all the way until I was 21. Them being in control of my finances made it impossible to move out, but I escaped. It took nearly 3 years, but I forgave them. However, I live 1,200 miles from them because of the experience

I've just realized that I've been suffering from emotional abuse for 5 years, it never stops. I always ask myself whether it's my fault or if I'm imagining it all. I feel guilty all the time. Till today I still ask myself the same question. Now You made it all clear thank you...

I literally had to pause almost every sentence because i could recall incidents that matched almost every since sentence you said. Thank you for bringing this to other peoples attention

"You girls are an extension of me" My mom, just today 😧😧

As an abused victim by my own dad, this really helped me and with the help my adopted pets. I'm so vengeful and mad at slight things and I blamed myself because I let that happened but I realized that I'm just helpless and I stopped talking to myself and breaking stuff when I remember those days. Take a deep breath and find someone who experience as same as you experience because it's such a relieve when talking to someone who can understand you and my pets help me so much even they don't talk back they understand me and doesn't judge me plus they made me smile everytime I go home and finally I can talk about and share my experience because of this persons.

My mom is always focusing on my flaws and it lowers my self-esteem and confidence. I even question my self-worth. Then, I confront her about how it makes me feel and she goes on a 10 minute rant about how I'm an ingrate. She plays the victim and says that she is "abused."

I am an emotional abuser. Desperate to recover. I can tell you it's hard to recognize an EA. At the same time I NEVER realized I am EA. I watched these videos, I saw myself and was ready to break down. My marriage was falling apart but I got nothing, I could not understand what's going on. I was sure I am doing everything right I am ok, there is something wrong with my wife. Now my marriage with a beautiful loving wife is in fragile equilibrium, waiting whether I'll be able to change completely after being EA for almost 40 years of my life or not. I see the problem, I will fix it before I lose my wife, my family and my life. There is no chance to help your husband until he realizes he is EA. It's a pity to say that but if he doesn't want to change then leave him. Unless you want to spend years being abused.

My mom belittles me and tries to treat me like I’m 4 years old, even in front of family. She also very fond of codependent relationships and wants to do everything for me. When I’m around her my anxiety gets so bad I can barely function, but for her this is great because she can do things for her child that makes her feel needed. My sibling is completely financially reliant on her and can’t do anything without her. When I realized how unhealthy this was, I started making very strong boundaries and only see her very occasionally. Miraculously I’m completely capable of doing everything for myself now!

I never realized how serious this form of abuse was when I was younger. I only ever recognized what it had cost me after I was over 18. If your young and not sure if things are really "that bad" or your questioning if what happened was "okay" or "wrong". Trust me its better to speak up and talk to a trusted adult. If they don't help or take things seriously keep trying to find someone who will. Talk to your doctor, your teacher, a school counselor, your therapist, any safe adult that may be able to help. I promise someone will and things will improve if you can be strong and speak up. I wish I had, please don't let my story be yours.

My younger brother treats me like this. He is successful and have a good job and I am suffering from clinical depression.

this explains my father in a nutshell.

the worse part was they are still your parents you cant do anything and say something about it because theyre going to call you disrespectful and ungrateful . They said that family is someone you can rely and help you but what they didnt tell us is that they can also be the first person to destroy you .

Scaring to hear so many people repeating my own experience! It went on after I moved out, I had to struggle all my life to always rebuild my bounderies and fight for my territory. It took me forty years to find support and start to heel my emotional wounds. If this is you now, please get yourself help, don't let it go on. Your are worth it, you're a precious person! And remeber: It is not your fault. The person who is doing this to you, has his or her own history. Mostly they do the best they can, even if it is hell for you. It is because of them, not because of you. They won't change, but you can.

my mom is so like this. but she denies it all

I'm over 18 and I have no idea how to get out of this situation.

the dominating one hurts so bad... when i was little my mom would control absolutely everything for me, and now i can’t make one decision. it’s so hard for me to make the simplest of decisions like deciding where i should put some books.

1 yes, 2 yes .... my ex my sons dad I can’t think for myself 3 he never apologizes and I’ve never heard I’m sorry and he is superior to everybody 4 HUGE HEAVY neglect and it hurts and he turns my son against me now ... it feels like daggers in my heart 5 He’s actually codependent on me and tells me he should make all of my choices but he doesn’t... and he really thinks he knows what’s best for me I had a guy helping pay for a therapist. He does not get. He proved to me that I can no longer date again or have a husband again. I’m completely ruined.

My bf reminds me of my mother -- always shuts me down and acts like I'm over reacting about everything. Even cheating. Thanks Mom.

This is my family 100%

Something that I heard my 6th grade health teacher told us when we had a unit on abuse and it has always stuck with me: An abuser will gaslight their victim so much that they can say it’s snowing outside and their partner will believe it because they’ve been so gaslighted they don’t see any snow falling but they don’t trust their own perception. She also gave the example of this: your partner tells you to go buy juice at the store, so of course you buy the juice. Then when you get home they deny they ever said that and say they asked for milk. I never forgot that. And it’s happening to me right now.

this just made me question my life so much like ie never realized and it actually scared me how accurate this was

When I was a child I was happy, loved, I felt loved. Then one day my grandma came to live with us. At first it was all happy go lucky and I was pretty excited she was here. Then about 4/5 months of her staying with us things changed. I remember one time when I was getting picked up from school by my grandma, we were driving back to my house she mentioned something about me getting chubbier and I needed to cut back on what I ate. At the time I actually agreed with her because before that I was always the of chubby kid in the class. Since then she has constantly been berating me saying stuff such as: " you are getting chubbier every day look at yourself in the mirror that's not attractive", "You look like you just came out of bed go put on another (shirt, pants, etc.) It got to the point were I developed a MAJOR lack of self confidence, I started to have depressive/ suicidal thoughts which led to my self harm issues, I also developed an eating disorder due to all the talk of my weight. I finally told my mom what was going on and she said: "don't listen to her, she just saying things, toughen up you will always have mean people in your life." Even though I told my mom and she KNEW what was happening under her roof she did nothing about it. PLEASE, if you have and/or are going through the same thing please contact one of your parents or a trusted adult don't let things go too far like I did it will result in a much worse outcome. Not all emotional abuse comes from a husband or boyfriend.

I feel like abusive relationships are the hardest to leave, it almost feels as if your chained to this person.

I’ve gotten to the point where my reality is so distorted. I went through months of my life thinking I was the issue and that I was so “crazy” that I just wouldn’t admit that somehow I WAS the issue in me and my father’s relationship. I’ve been told that I play victim and I make everything about me when I speak up about what upsets me. I’ve been told so much that IM the one that’s crazy that I’ve taken the blame and now I get so triggered when people say “emotional abusers think they can do no wrong.” Because my dad tells me this is how I act. He says that I think i can do no wrong. It’s just so hard. I want this to end.

My sister and mom put me down using sarcasm and I don't dare speak up or I'm too sensitive. You hit it right on!!!

Emotional abuse is very hard dealing with, especially when it comes from those you care about. I was wondering if you have ever, or may possibly plan on making a video dedicated to _financial abuse?_ It is hardly ever discussed when the subject of abuse comes up. It can be a key component on mastering control over others if they are essentially "locked" in a relationship because their significant other or relative pays for everything, and without the support from the abuser they'd be hurt financially. Listing resources and ways to avoid/escape financial hardship from abusive persons would also be a great addition to any of your insight. Love your channel, thanks so much!

This is my parents . Both of them . I just cant take it anymore 😢

Also my wife and I are realising the unhealthy codependency we have on each other. We’re trying to understand and respect each other’s boundaries and understand we need our own time and respect each other. We have had these issues growing up with our mothers.

I have experienced this. Everyone is always belittling my feelings and overstepping my boundaries and humiliating me in front of everyone and getting my my business and criticizing my spending my “laziness” and productivity or lack there of and my eating and weight, and downplaying their part and making me feel bad about myself and so much more.

My parents and siblings are emotionally abusive to me. I’ve lost my sense of self and don’t know who to trust

I started crying. I related too much

O MY word - YES! All of the above. And not being able to consider yourself in life is the result. Not taking responsibility for their wrongs, and when it’s unmistakable, then it’s “That’s just the way I am, I can’t help it”, so you’re just stuck!

This video helped me calm down when I was crying. It's just that my mom yell at me and calls me names. She blame me for everything and say that I ruined her life. And well this video really helped.

I get emotionally abused by my entire family

My dad is emotionally abusive... When I was a little girl,I was in a way neglected. My mom used to be a flight attendant,so she wasn't home a lot which led me to be left alone with my father. I remembered when I was 5,where I asked him for some milk (the powder/baby one) and he ignored me. After being ignored a few minutes later I started crying asking for some milk. Instead of telling me of or scolding or even actually making the damn milk! He instead got up with an angry expression while waking towards his room. (Fyi around this time period,he was very abusive not only emotional but physical as well. Thank fully, he doesn't get physical most of the time but the emotional abuse continues.) He got his belt and whipped me with no mercy,leaving pretty much my whole body with bruises. I cried so hard and begging for him to stop but he didn't. After a while he stopped and went to his room and continued watching tv as I was left alone slowly limping towards my room. I locked myself in and cried all night long. The physical abuse continued from 2005-2013/14 ish. But emotional... That's another story. Everyday and every night,he constantly bickers and finds way to insult me and my mother. He always calls me a lazy cow and that I will never get anywhere in life. He told me that he rather have a pig/cow than having because he can at least sell the meat. He told me that I'm ugly,fat and would that no guy would want to love a pig like me. He even told me that since I am a definite failure in the future,I better get started on training to become a salve/maid or a prostituet. And he asks me why my diet is so unbalanced? I'm so insecure with myself. I once got molested from the age of 8-12. I didn't tell anybody for so long was because that person was my 'uncle' and he threatened me on many occasions. I did tell on him in December 2014. Now in 2016,sometimes my dad would talk about things regarding the molestation incident. It's a really sensitive topic for me so I really didn't want anybody reminding about the event. Whenever I tell him to stop talking he wouldn't and would continue talking about while the memories slowly creeps back into my mind,making me cry. A few hours ago,I got into a huge argument with my father. He said that all my behaviour is my fault and that all I do is sit in my room doing nothing. I told him that it was because of him I always wanted to stay in my room. He said that I was making excuses and just wanted to blame other people instead of being up about it. After the whole argument,I took some screenshots regarding Emotional abuse. (Symptoms,effects and etc) Guess what he replied. "Whatever" with an emoji with it's tounge sticking out. He replied again and said "Lol" with a smiley face and hands clapping. When I when I saw this I cried. But then I scolded myself saying that "what am I crying for?" and "It's pretty much normal by now." This is something that I do often whenever I cry because of him. And I hate the fact that this has been going for long enough for me to think that it's normal. I'm 14 and I've been dealing with this for pretty much my whole life. I've had so much suicide interpretation ever since I was 8 (probably because of my dad. He would often tell me to go kill myself,hoping I get hit by a bus,telling to just shoot myself and etc) I know that probably a lot of people don't care about my story but I just wanted to tell people who suffer through the same situation as I am that you're not alone. Although I am probably in no right to say this as I am still suffering with it,that suicide is not the option. Just be strong and let's try our best to proof them that we are better than them! :)

You fought so hard against abuse, and you might fall hard, too. But I want to tell you your efforts are worth it!!!

I feel this is me. I'm 55 and it's gotten me to the point I am 95% homebound agorophobic and have been for 7 years. I feel useless, hopeless

my mother.... i have hated her ever since i was a child.. she belittles me everyday. i barely have any self esteem whatsoever. i have tried and tried AND TRIED. she never listens and never apologizes for anything. she thinks I'm psychopath even when I'm just explaining a situation better but then she says I'm making up excuses. I HATE HER I don't care about her one bit. my mother has tried to hit me and slap me but since I'm so jumpy, my reflexes are skilled and my dad has protected me from her a couple times too.. when i move out I'm going to florida with my cousin and never speaking to my mother ever again...

My father degraded me all the time. He would laugh at me, when I got hurt or when I began to cry, because I couldn‘t take his words anymore. It might be weird to say, but because of my father, I knew, that I would do anything, to be the opposite of him.

What you have said was my entire life with my parents until the day each of them died!!! 38 years of emotional abuse has made me very very Leary of people!!! I don't trust anyone at all!!! Especially, when they say they love you!!!

Wow this video really made me break down because I can relate to all of this