0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

$50k in 6 months..."what happened?" "Life." Accountability has left the room.

I didn't know million dollar houses , 11k cruises , private schools, 1k/month training and 400k inheritance were Middle class thing. Jeezz 😂

“I’m not putting my kids in public school” is WILD. That inheritance is already gone!!

Kevin's body language looks like he's checked out. And I bet he checks out like that whenever she opens her mouth because he knows she's about to bring the BS. They probably need marriage counseling on top of financial guidance.

Not that I am judging them, but $4 000 eating out? You can hire a private chef and pay him another $1 000 for groceries and have damn best food of your life at home!

“Affirmations are nice, but sometimes you need to look at the F*ing numbers”. I felt that!! 😮

I can’t be with a partner that spends more than they earn. This is out of control!

The problem is that they want it all, and all at the same time. Million dollar house, expensive cars, private schools, luxury vacations, new clothes, high-end business coaching, $3k in takeout a month and on and on. The could have two or three of those dialed up to a 10 (re: Money Dials), but few people can sustain all of those categories all the time.

That man looks so miserable. I feel for him. What a difficult person to partner with in life..

I think the wife is in an MLM and doesn't want to admit it. It would explain the variable income, "affirmations", and her desire to portray a glam perfect life. MLMs also bring tons of "business" costs she isn't tracking. If her pyramid collapses that won't he good for the family.

The "I'm not putting my kids in public school" attitude while being in debt is what's holding them back. They make enough to restart everything with no debt in a month or two but she wants the rich lifestyle.

$3500 flights, $4k/month eating out, admitted impulsive spending- she is absolutely clueless.

I think Sarah might be the physical embodiment of spending too much time on Instagram.

No no girl, this is NOT a generational issue, it's a YOU issue.

She is doing exactly what her dad did to her family. He was ordering stake for himself and the kids without actually being able to support it financially. She is sending her kids to private school (and driving expensive cars) without actually being able to afford it. If they were living in a million dollar home before the public school couldn’t be have been that bad.

Minute 31 and she says "I flew to Cabo for my business." I'm sure her business is an MLM and that's part of the reason she puts in 15k in three months and no return. Same with her "Business Coaching". Its very sad the manipulative way these companies trick women (specially mothers) into wasting away their family's money chasing a dream that ALL the data clearly shows is unattainable for 99.9%.

It's taken me 4 attempts to finish this video. This elicited so many emotions for me that it was hard to watch. They don't see it but they are using their kids as an excuse to live beyond their means.

That woman is just waiting to put her paws on that poor man's inheritance. I'm sorry but, in this case, this is HIS money and he should put it away/invest it, as if they never got it.

For the record, she DID NOT do the Dave Ramsey plan. If they had, they would have cut up and closed all credit cards. Annoying to see ppl lie about what they did and used a method from someone that shows them to do the complete opposite of what they have done.

She will spend his inheritance. I bet you my last dollar. She’s gonna convince him to build a house.

Aaahhhh this was so painful to listen to! I am in disbelief at how people can fool themselves. Kudos to Ramit for having an insane amount of patience to dig deeper.

She is clearly in an MLM, meaning her “95k” income is probably closer to $24k when you subtract her coaching costs, trips, and buying garbage inventory that expires before she can sell it. Honestly, her quitting to homeschool her kids would be the best thing she could do for her and her family. Get off the predatory hamster wheel of this pyramid scheme, save the $55k on private school, and live a comfortable life off husband’s $200k income and $400k inheritance! The reason she’s impulse buying is because she has to keep up appearances with her MLM peers, because showing off the “luxury” lifestyle is the only way to keep recruiting a downline. Going to watch part 2 now and really hope this gets addressed. Dropping out of this MLM would solve 90% of their problems.

Man - that pause after he asked how they think that they can afford $55k+ (and it'll go up) when they had to use their house sale cash . . . just eternal. That means they already know the answer (they can't), but they've been avoiding admitting it.

The two numbers that stood out to me were $4000 per month on eating out and the $3500 flight to Mexico (Cabo). If I assume they eat out EVERY DAY of the month, that is a whopping $130 per day. If I assume they eat out 20 days in a month, its $200 per day. That is A LOT to spend on eating out. And I would bet that a large portion of that is delivery charges and fees. A flight from the U.S. to Mexico that costs $3500 HAS to be First Class ticket. Both these items reek of someone being extremely used to luxury. And in their mind, they have equated these luxuries to being "necessities". And rationalized under "I'm really busy" and "I deserve it".

Despite coming on the show, I'm still not convinced they understand the gravity of the situation or are willing to make real changes. They could be wealthy, but they are blowing up their lives. They waste more money each month than most families make. It's actually incredibly sad.

My kids went to private school 8 years ago and I still think it’s the worst decision I have ever made. My kids are happily in public school

I give this couple so much credit to speak with you and make their truth public for all of us. I know what it's like to be thousands of dollars in debt. It's so many different emotions and I'm so thankful to be out of credit card debt for so long now. I owe much of it to my wife. She's a rock star.

Are you kidding! If you consider what she if paying for job coaching, other job expenses, eating out because she has no time to cook, and the private school, she is not even earning that much. Quit your job and homeschool already.

Whew! I can feel the anxiety and shame in this one. I can respect them for being vulnerable publicly and working to improve themselves. Wishing them the best

When she mentioned paying for household utilities and bills on the credit card, I was dumbfounded. The moment it was disclosed that the debt was re-accumulated within 6 months 🤯🤯🤯 after making $375K selling the house. The husband's face said it all when she was listing the debt. This just goes to show, you never know other's financial struggles just from an outside perspective. My jaw is on the floor!

There is some real cognitive dissonance going on here. Kudos to the couple for reaching out.

Yeah if I was the husband I’d be thinking of divorce too. This is wildddd. If you can’t afford it don’t buy it. They had a lot of unnecessary expenses on their credit cards

The difference between them and me: If they were making 10 million a year, they'd be spending 25. If I was making 10 million a year, I'd be retired after one year of work.

I don’t understand how you have the patience to listen to Sarah - she is manipulating herself. She believes that she deserves to live this lifestyle that she can’t afford and it’s hurting her marriage. I’m curious to find out how together they manage their expenses. Where the heck does all the money go every month? Do they pay anything off? I don’t know if there is hope for Sarah in particular when she can’t accept the situation and you’re spelling it out for her in this episode. 😅

$4000 a month on eating out is WILD

They make around $300K and they spend almost all of it, but I caught that they are both contractors as such they have to save a lot of $ for taxes as they get issued 1099 and get the full amount of their billing rate - no taxes removed. From experience, I learned that contractors must have the discipline to save away money for taxes otherwise they will have a hard time when tax comes in. Regardless awesome interview Ramit!

When the $4K /mth for eating out was mentioned, I dropped the mic. Feeding a family of 5 is an expensive business but wow, that was a large red flag that things are very out of control.

Ramit she is showing all signs of being in an MLM. Accounts are down lines, cruises are sold to the reps as being “free/earned,” yet she most likely paid for a first class flight to Cabo to show off her “lifestyle” as this is how they prey on vulnerable people who wish to be like them. It’s all living like the Jones’s. She’s in a pyramid scheme. She’s dululu and needs a wake up call. Betting she’s not making any money or losing loads. 95k minus 3.5k minus 11k etc and she’s a liability to her family. Quite sad. Most mlm reps have no clue about how bad their losses really are. She needs a CPA asap.

“That it’s all my fault” because it is!! Omg

Ramit, my wife and I have started on your Netflix show (haven't finished due to our own financial tensions causing us to avoid it) and I have started listening to your podcasts on youtube. I knew we kept scraping the bottom of the bucket each month but never really knew why until I heard your podcast and decided to really start working on our budget. Some good moments of realization and some very painful ones. Discussing finances is definitely a tense and difficult subject for my wife and I and we would LOVE to come on your podcast for some direction! Thanks for all you do to help so many people!

You can have anything you want, but you can't have EVERYTHING you want. Hard choices need to be made by everyone, no matter how much money you make. It won't hurt the kids if you can't give them every single thing they want. It would actually be better for them to learn delayed gratification.

Best quote ever..."Sometimes you need to just fucking look at the numbers!" I hit the # in 2 seconds without calculating or adding up in my head. We lie to ourselves. I add 20% to all of my estimates of what something will cost. I'm typically right on the money. Very brave couple. Sarah is particularly courageous because although she lies to herself, she wants to change. I wish them both the best...I hope they can get through this together. You're incredible Ramit...you provide such a gift!

Caleb Hammer voice - “YOU ARE NOT A CREDIT CARD PERSON!!!!”

These two part episodes kill me. The waiting a week in between is torture when the content is the damn good! Thanks Ramit for all you and your team does!

I make $49k I have no debt at all Paid off home. Don’t own a car. $50k in savings Eat at home. Save save save. Life is good.

I appreciate how you hold off from being much harder on her and shaking her up yelling "what are you thinking lady!". Maybe that's in Episode 2 lol. Watching this, I'm shaking my head. I think the saddest thing is when she says she doesn't want her kids to grow up thinking they don't have enough money for this or that, meanwhile, that's exactly the environment she (and he to a lower extent I think) is creating. They make so much more money than most families, and yet are really struggling. With this amount of money and some kind of budget, they could 100000% live a rich life, go on fun vacations that their kids would love, eat out regularly and create the type of environment she wants for their family. They just have to make better decisions - 1. no one needs to go on a 10k cruise (does it even sound fun? I feel like as a kid I would probably hate being stuck in one place) - there are so many other vacations they could take for much less; 2. separate business and personal expenses - they're two very different things and mixing the two makes it hard to grasp whether their family expenses or business expenses are out of control...or which is worst; 3. stop thinking that "this is what we deserve/want/what our kids deserve/want": no one is setting this expectation except themselves. I think their kids would definitely benefit more from having parents that can afford their expenses, maybe even save for college, and not fight about money, than eating out for $4000/month or going to a fancy private school. Also by setting expectations that they're spending that kind of cash on lifestyle, they're teaching their kids that this is normal and how things work: then growing up to be their own person, make their own money and budget, they'll have the same expectations and the cycle continues. She says she wants to break the generational cycle, yet she is behaving exactly like her father, except she's not buying a steak or a TV, but a cruise and private school fees, and in her head she thinks "I deserve it/I have to have it", no matter the consequences, here being her husband sitting on the sideline, working his ass off to support the expenses, and telling her 'this needs to stop or I'm out'. Ok, that was far too long lol. I really hope they can figure it out because they have everything they need! Just need to be smacked in the face by reality, and decide to change. Good luck!!

What confused me in the beginning is that after 14 years of marriage $300k of income, they have not create a joint credit card, a business credit card and separate those things from personal cc. It’s tough to hear that much money is coming in and they are still under water.

I feel bad for her husband, he seems to have learned from their experience of paying of the previous debt while she is not holding herself accountable at all! I don’t think it’s a mutual problem, this seems to be about her only but she is hiding behind their marriage as an excuse to continue the behavior without addressing her own issues. You gotta know who you are marrying before you do.

I keep noticing the notifications popping up on the Echo Show behind her for her recent orders 😂

She is such a master manipulator. Do not let her touch that inheritance or else it will disappear.

Great Show. Thank you for posting. The episode was eye-opening between husband and wife about money. Mind-boggling in terms of their unplanned spending. Ramit, you are a Great Interviewer. Thank you.

I've started to realise that hardly anyone is rich.. it seems like everyone is just drowning in debt constantly. I'm so proud I don't have any

How can she not see that she IS her father😊

$4,000 a month in take-out. I'm guessing neither of them cooks. This gives me SO much anxiety.

55k tuition is crazy! They can not even come close to affording that.

Top qualities to look for in a partner: Low levels of neuroticism and a saver.

It’s sad a combined income of $300k household can have about $50k cc debt. Personal finance and living within your means should be taught at a young age both at home and in school.

This is insane. How can they fix the problem when they don't even want to recognize it, see it, or acknowledge it. She was like saying, we have to cut back some stuff. But, we haven't really taken action to see how it makes us really feel. How will you feel five years down the road and you are in debt due to that private school or worst divorce. Then, would anything matter at that point? Did she say 4,000 dollars per month eating out? Why are you going on an 11,000 trip, when you are 50,000 in debt. Come on even a 5th grader can do the math. Denial is bliss I guess.

I am getting anxiety over the inability of any of these 3 people to say "spend less".

Usually I watch these kinds of videos and feel bad for the people, this is not one of those couples. Don't blow 11k on a cruise then expect sympathy.

Based on this video alone I think they should divorce. Just my opinion. She’s high end. He’s more level headed. Kids can go to public school. They could truly have a rock life but she’s too worried about what others see/think.

She is a double talker …he has no clue where his money is going ..she is just spending money like it does grow on trees !! They make over 300,000 dollars a year and she have no debt whatsoever!!Probably the reason why you haven’t talked to them is he is filling for a divorce since he already said if their debt goes up he was filling !!Good luck paying for private school on a single parent income .I am sorry but her dishonesty just ruffles my feather!! Hopefully he got smart and took over the finances !! I hear your frustration and feel it !!She has no realization of the privileged life she has ..

The conversation really pivots at 27:47 when you find out it only took 6 months to get back into 50k of credit card debt. Meanwhile, here I am panicking about $5000 of credit card debt.

I am watching this for the second time and I am becoming more and more appalled. You can’t go to private school if you can’t afford it. They live like they are making 500K. They really don’t make that much money. She makes the equivalent of 70K since she has to pay her own taxes and health insurance. That is NOT a high earner.

I was listening to the beginning of this episode in the car and immediately switched to youtube to watch the rest at work. Just had to see it all to believe what i was hearing.

Ramit asked, “What are you gonna do?” hoping they would address a change to their overall behaviors, but instead their answer was just to pay the CC debt…followed with, spend more money lol. Crazy that they believe making more money will solve their problems. They came up on additional income after selling their house and now expect an inheritance, yet here they are…

Ramit, I just discovered your channel / content. I am pretty well advanced in Personal Finance (no debt, halfway to FI, 50%+ savings rate etc..), but as a family, this content is eye opening because it shows you how things can go bad even if you are good hearted. Thanks for what you're doing. Also, renting > buying. Cheers xD

Making $300K, spending like they make 7 figures. There's always things you can't afford. Just need to realize that and accept it.

We live in California (moved her a year ago for our jobs) and make decent money but definitely missed out the big boom in tech stocks. As a result we find ourselves priced out of the market unless we choose to be house poor. We ran the numbers and it made no sense. We also did an analysis of what expenses we could do without and what we we needed or wanted for quality of life purposes). We won’t own a house anytime in the future but that’s going to be OK.

As soon as I saw the wall affirmations I knew Ramit would go on a rant about it 🤣 Super interesting, can't wait for Pt.2

They need to giver her her own checking account with “x” amount of dollars refilled each month. She can only use the debit card to pull from. Take away her credit cards!

Every time she rolls a number off her tongue she comes across like she is actually proud and secretly enjoying it! I don’t know if she actually wants to give that up.

When she said she feels so much fear that she cant afford a life she wants for her kids.... i just cant comprehend that. I feel that way and it makes me pounce on every dime i make... and i budget it.. because i truely fear that i wont have enough to eat or retire. Her actions flies in the face of her words

Ramit. I have followed you for a while and it’s so amazing to see how the brand has evolved. You are absolutely good at this.

I think homeschooling will help them a lot, she can become a stay at home mom. Save $55k on school tuition & at least $2k/month on eating out that’s about $79K saved a year which is literally more than your yearly salary after taxes. Good luck to you both.

When she ends up in a nursing home homeless with a stinky roommate because she has no desire to be accountable of her money or health she’ll realize it’s too late.

As someone who has always struggled with money (please note I have bipolar disorder along with other mental illnesses) my advice to the wife - please seek therapy you will never over come your over spending habits without help and therapy. I have only just gained control after dealing with this for 20 years. It will really change the way you look at money.

Love this channel! Are there episodes where he interviews people who aren’t considered “high earners?”

I suggested in the comments that they could go on much more affordable vacations if they were willing to stay away from the typical pre-packaged vacation spots and the Anglo-western world in general. But that public school comment has me thinking a trip to even just Central America would be...out of the question for them 😶

35:00 she blames the past. But isn’t the problem her business expenses? Ppl keeping up with the Jones. Private Schools , 3,000 in uniforms 😱 , family cruise. Ramit hits it always on the dot. Their he goes: how do you see yourself compare to others.

First let me say a big Thank you for these videos here, I started following your videos recently and successfully completed your book(I will teach you to be rich) helping me to start a discussion about finance and money with my family. Looks like people need everything at onetime all rich life(too money dials) high end cars, vacations, Private schools, Great dinners... Waiting to see how Ramit Suggest for them and what can i take it from that to improve my finance conversation with my Husband.

Even when she thought about talking about their finances, she pictured them out to eat. Smh. Im so happy my partner is financially fit. This situation would be the death of most marriages.

Poor Kevin. After this first part, I get the feeling that he doesn't get much of a say in money at all and things have to go Sarah's way. For example, look at the reaction and reasoning for the private schooling and not putting the kids in public school. Kevin had to really find the words and reason for it (which makes it feel like he was tiptoeing around the real reason to not upset Sarah), while the tone of Sarah's response sounded more like it was a personal choice ("I'm not putting my kids in public school"). Look at Kevin's reaction when she's talking about it. He looks defeated, as though he's tried to talk her out of it many times and she won't listen. Another example is racking up all that debt after paying it all off. I wonder if Kevin even said anything about it to her, even after the first $1,000 in charges? I'm guessing that if he did, she just dismissed whatever he says. I am scared of what will happen to the inheritance, if he doesn't lock it away into an account that only he has access to. She will piss it away then wonder what happened to it all.

I struggle with the “this is a generational issue” when folks are past a certain age and have managed to accomplish this once. I’m certainly not a therapist, but at that point you’ve been your own example of how to fix things. You didn’t have someone model it for you, so you did that yourself. I think this is something different, especially considering this is TWO people struggling in this way.

The husband seems like he is out mentally and he is just there. They don’t seem like they work together and spending money like it comes out if the faucet is dangerous. If they don’t get control and make radical changes, goodbye inheritance.

We need a financial version of attachment styles bc it seems like her behavior and difficulty is tied to attachment styles stemming from her childhood. Possibly fearful avoidant or anxious preoccupied attachment style.

When is the new episode coming? I usually listen to podcasts and came here to see their facial expressions. I am so shocked to see that people struggle irrespective of their income but for the decisions they make.

The reason nothing works is because they/she isn’t willing to make any sacrifices. Her priority is keeping up with the Joneses.

Gosh I love this show. Every single one is 💯

There was a time when I had a mortgage, 30k car 500 dollar car payment 10k personal loan and about 45-50k in credit cards. I got roommates, worked 69hours a week, sold the car and got a 10k car for 230 a month. I paid everything off. I ended up in debt a few more times and climbed out again and again. Now I have 2 mortgages and one cash flows. I have a Roth and pers retirement. It’s possible you just have to sacrifice and not be materialistic. Materialism will kill you.

She’s on destruct mode

The podcast set up is SOOOO nice! Love Love LOVE it. Aesthetic goals right here

Great video! Really enjoyed it.

This is classic lifestyle inflation right here. Making more is causing them to spend more.

I still really wish there was actual low income/low middle class people on the show. I know anyone can learn from this and tones of high income earners are also struggling with money. But I really wish to also see hope for really low income people. I love your book and the podcast and KZfaq content but So far all the podcast and episode I have listened are millionaires or at least earn 100k+ a year. Most shows are understandably about clearing dept, but what about increasing income? It really feels unattainable sometimes.

Sarah is repeating the same mistakes her dad did and her husband is being her mother. I don't think she wants to change at all because you were raised one way doesn't mean you have to continue to live that life. I hope when the three daughters are raised they break away from the life of debt their parents live. My in-laws were big-time alcoholics and my husband liked to party but when our first child was born he said I will not raise my children the way I was raised.

Thanks for being so brave. This couldn’t be easy!

3-4,000 a month EATING OUT???????

IMO her "business" is killing their finances. Get a W2 job with health insurance and retirement plan and budget based off the husband's income.