“He won’t marry me until I pay off my $15,000 credit card debt”

Рет қаралды 157,784

Күн бұрын

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to DJ and Adam, 37 and 33. They have been dating for 3 years but DJ’s debt stands in the way of their potential marriage, as dictated by Adam, who’s been divorced in the past due to money issues. DJ recently doubled her income - and she has all the tools - but she’s frozen, unaccountable, and losing time.
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Can’t-miss moments
00:00:00 - 1: Opening
00:03:42 - 2: DJ's had the credit card debt her "whole life"
00:06:33 - 3: How DJ recently doubled her income
00:11:08 - 4: Does Adam need DJ to be debt-free before getting married?
00:16:36 - 5: Ramit points out an uncomfortable truth
00:19:16 - 6: The surprising way DJ was raised with money
00:26:31 - 7: Adam has a major realization
00:28:58 - 8: How do you know if you can afford something?
00:41:28 - 9: Ramit: "You have no real consequences"
00:47:02 - 10: Ramit notices DJ knows a lot more about finances than she claims
00:53:03 - 11: Why can't they get married now?
00:57:11 - 12: How is DJ going to get this debt paid off?
01:01:46 - 13: Ramit finally lays down the law on credit cards
01:05:26 - 14: DJ is shocked to hear how quickly she can pay it off
01:09:09 - 15: Ramit: "Damn, that's a good answer"
01:10:54 - 16: DJ knows all this stuff. Why is she "playing dumb"?
01:15:26 - 17: Finally, a breakthrough!
01:20:15 - 18: Where are they now? DJ and Adam's follow-ups
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If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: forms.gle/pjYMaLeThJM3z9uN6
Produced by Crate Media.

Пікірлер: 460

@ramitsethi Жыл бұрын

0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

@thegrowthfamily6245 8 ай бұрын

@ramitsethi In the beginning you say to go on KZfaq to watch full video but i am on KZfaq where would I find the full version im confused lol

@coneil72 6 ай бұрын

@@thegrowthfamily6245 Haha he says that for people listening to the podcast. This is the full version.

@Hope-eo5sh 3 ай бұрын

I would love to come on your show

@el-hp1lj Жыл бұрын

I don't blame adam for not wanting to go ahead and get married until she figures out her financials. He's a smart guy for that.

@BoundlessEyes Жыл бұрын

I'm an hour in and Matt needs to run for his own financial wellbeing.

@tylernol1566 Жыл бұрын

@@BoundlessEyes There was a point in the episode that I "heard" the thought, "leave this woman" but of course it wasn't uttered. The kind of thought you hear when you know what word somebody is trying to say and you offer it up.

@mangomadnnesss Жыл бұрын

Prenups are there for a reason, he doesn’t want to marry her because he doesn’t want to get married. He is making it seem like its a her problem that they cant get married. When she does fix this, he will find some other thing she has to fix that she wont be able to fix before they can get married.

@jumper9108 Жыл бұрын

She doesn’t look like the lady who would sign a prenup… he probably offered it to her and she said no chance lol.

@deirdrekiely6187 Жыл бұрын

@Mango Madness Prenup is good advice. But I think it's deeper than that. Financial stress is a major reason for divorce. Even with a prenup this guy probably doesn't want to deal with the headache of dealing with her habits. It's very telling that he said he doesn't nag her because it's her money now, not their money. I don't blame him for not wanting to get married yet.

@ThebookishSAHM Жыл бұрын

I think the people that go on this podcast are so brave. They are willing to face their mistakes and work on them. Every episode so far has been eye opening and inspiring to me. Keep up the good work

@laurianno7011 Жыл бұрын

Shout out to DJ's sister who is great with money and is living her rich life by spending 1000s of dollars on BTS' concerts. She is my hero.

@KatieManring 8 ай бұрын

I was hunting for this comment - as ARMY, DJ’s sister is my bias now. 💜

@venus3173 8 ай бұрын

lmfao she’s slaying fr

@AudreysBrains Ай бұрын

This was the best part of the whole story 😂

@Elizabeth-yx7nn Жыл бұрын

She's going to have a nasty shock about how fast the money in her checking account runs out when she stops using her cards. She has an impulse spending problem that she seems very unaware of.

@melaniegaldi6893 7 ай бұрын

@Erin-rg3dw Ай бұрын

Impulse control and FOMO. She says she says 'no" to things, but I don't think it's as often as she should. Same with the outfits and shopping. She wants her cake and eat it too, without the work. I hope she can find a way to address that and find a healthier balance.

@sourdoughsavant22 Жыл бұрын

it's called weaponized incompetence. A lot of us are guilty of this

@AMMandrea123 Жыл бұрын

Oh wow, I had never heard that term before. Perfect description.

@Mrursi Жыл бұрын

the point shouldn't be her just paying 15k so she can get married; but to change in such a way that she wouldn't be in that position going forward. Otherwise, she will be soon in 100k of debt shortly after they are married. duh!

@DrBrittneyEllers Жыл бұрын

“I don’t know how” 🤷🏽‍♀️ is, in other words, weaponized incompetence. I totally understand why she does it and am excited to hear Ramit helping her get to the root of why she uses it as an excuse. Happy for her realizations because she actually DOES know! Or at least knows how to use her other skills to be able to get answers

@vulpixelful Жыл бұрын

Yeah she talked like an alien was stealing her credit cards every day. Hope she continues to get to the bottom of this

@penelopeaponte4563 Жыл бұрын

I really resonated with this because I had the same mentality as her for many years and I thought the same way about how do I get from A to Z when I’m already this way? But if you are determined enough you can and I’ve managed to pay off almost 30k in debt, have an emergency savings, and invest. It CAN happen!

@JulieCWilson Жыл бұрын

Yeah the “throwing spreadsheets at the problem” and not actually addressing the root of the problem and the beliefs really hit home for me in this episode.

@keyring86 Жыл бұрын

Congrats

@catherineshock5490 Жыл бұрын

I love that DJ stuck through this hard conversation. She's clearly incredibly smart and should have no issues once she becomes determined to make the changes. As Adam pointed out, sometimes you just need someone else to tell you the hard things and not your partner.

@FallingAsh Жыл бұрын

She has to want it.

@raheelakhtar7 Жыл бұрын

Def not money smart

@mariaking4950 9 ай бұрын

Can't agree that she's smart I'm afraid.

@TecnamTwin 7 ай бұрын

Smart? Buying a new outfit EVERY WEEKEND is not smart. That's downright stupid and completely unnecessary. She's out of control and shameless about it. No wonder he's said "No" so far. He understands that proper money management is critical to a marriage having experienced failure already and her access to his money would only mean she would recklessly continue to overspend.

@ethanjolly9732 5 ай бұрын

Using money to fill in a void to buy unnecessary stuff we don’t need is such an overlooked addiction. Especially living in such a materialistic society. I fall victim to it too, but being more aware and seeing therapy has helped.

@user-md6se6in1z 4 ай бұрын

Agreed 👍

@samjoyus 16 күн бұрын

This is so true .

@kathr3477 Жыл бұрын

There's a part about "victim mentality" in Ramit's book that rubbed me wrong when I first read it, until I realized that's me. I sympathize with DJ, there are so many things out there saying "it's not your fault, there are systemic forces, credit card companies are predatory" etc etc. And that is all very true - AND we've all got to dig ourselves out. I think it's easy to be hard on her, but I get it, she just needs a little tough self love.

@RShaun 25 күн бұрын

Same. People tell you your entire life there are traps, look out for them. And we go into the traps anyway and blame the trappers.

@janebaker4912 Жыл бұрын

A new outfit every week!?!?!!! Shopping addiction? Like her father's addiction? Has she been enabled? Her sister wasn't

@pennyzianpei7733 Жыл бұрын

Ramit really helped DJ big time. This is honestly the hardest ep so far to listen to…. The way DJ acted oblivious to curve her responsibilities so hard was tough to watch . This is learned helplessness and invites sooo many problems in life. I hope she can step up for herself in the future 😢

@old_ladyhustler727 Жыл бұрын

I think she just missed the whole part where her boyfriend said he's not in a rush to get married. And when she talked about her wants nothing on having a family.

@BrandonTalksFitness 8 ай бұрын

Yeah it seems like they are completely misaligned - It makes me question why they are together

@AishaBuycks 7 ай бұрын

I have definitely wondered why they are together.

@AmandaJYoungs Жыл бұрын

This is the best show. It is so revealing, and Ramit has this brilliant way of asking probing questions that throw light on things. Being able to see people's faces as it gradually dawns on them what they are doing wrong or what they need to do differently is the icing on the cake. It makes for a good listen even without pictures, but the visuals really complete the show and I look forward to every new episode.

@ramitsethi Жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@sct4040 Жыл бұрын

Maybe subconsciously she doesn’t really want to marry him.

@Ericdj15 5 ай бұрын

Facts

@wilseph1 Жыл бұрын

Strong consideration for Adam to move on, considering he may be staring at divorce #2.

@mmarieritter216 Жыл бұрын

This was a tough one. DJ's story aligns with mine in many ways -- feeling very beaten down by years of low-wage work and having to supplement with credit just to feel like you can participate in life. It takes a lot of hard work to increase your income the way DJ did, way to go! Now it's just the other hard part of changing your mentality around money, locking yourself down for a few years to get the books right again. You can do it! And as a very practical tip; I didn't make meaningful progress on my high-interest credit cards until I transferred the balance to a fixed, low-interest personal loan. That shit saved my life. Everything is paid and my money feels like mine again -- wishing the same for you, DJ!

@madameclark3453 10 ай бұрын

My best friend is a spender, I’ve known her for 40 years. This lady reminds me of her, she may never change. It’s about satisfying her needs first.

@betz6507 9 ай бұрын

Not needs -- wants. Humans are a bottomless pit of wants. We have few real needs

@withyoctopus 3 ай бұрын

I have a friend like that! She's so lucky she has a rich family who made it possible for her to buy a house. I hope she'll be able to keep it up at least. She thinks that she doesn't spend a lot, but she has bags of unworn clothes in the attic, is on holiday several times a year and goes to restaurant on a regular basis. Her car is a name brand. She really thinks we have a comparable lifestyle but I'm so much more frugal. Everything's old, basic and second hand. Spending is only fun when it involves stocks.

@HeatherLeBas Жыл бұрын

I can picture DJ getting through this, actually fairly quickly. If she can make a huge career leap like that, she can definitely apply the same perseverance, structure, and behaviors to finance. The credit card points I feel like are a connection to family history of gambling, which I find interesting. She actually might be able to use the small win approach to her advantage if she is wired this way. She mentioned putting a star on a calendar to keep track of wins, this could actually be that small psychological win that could help keep her motivated helping her leap into a new era.

@mygoodlife204 Жыл бұрын

Yes. It is the gambling! And Adam is not enabling her like her mom enabled the dad!

@Erin-rg3dw Ай бұрын

Same. Lots of finance and life coaches recommend doing something visual, like a thermometer to track goals so you can see your progress.

@Erin-rg3dw Ай бұрын

@@mygoodlife204 Sort of the opposite. Her mom didn't enable her dad because she tried to take the money from him before he could spend it, even though it didn't always work. Adam doesn't want to get in that situation.

@Billups7Iniesta8C7 Жыл бұрын

Credit card companies are thirsting at the mouth when they hear "I get a new outfit every week to go out" Like what?

@healingfear Жыл бұрын

It was so beautiful how you helped her find the glitch in her logic about the credit card (points!?) and helped bring her learned helplessness up into her conscious view. Great episode, Ramit.

@simba8276 Жыл бұрын

41:30 she’s me fr, fr. I haven’t had any major consequences. It doesn’t affect my life in a real way. I know exactly how that feels. This episode is hitting for me

@chrisveazey9498 Жыл бұрын

Me, too. I wanna tell DJ I'm the same.

@adamgriffith768 7 ай бұрын

You're lying to yourself about the consequences. Do you have your own home and car that are paid for? Are you at or above the average 401k account balance? Do you get to take at least one real vacation a year?

@ladyrenaethomasjames 10 ай бұрын

I wish DJ took this seriously 🤦🏾‍♀️ She really wasted all of our time

@lowlowseesee Ай бұрын

I loved it lol. It’s a lesson still

@Beautybytracilei Жыл бұрын

The interesting thing is that she has taken on the role of her father. Her father was irresponsible with money and delegated the responsibility to her mother. Her mother even delegated the responsibility to her teenage sister at times. As much as she values her mother, who is “good” with money, she doesn’t really want to be like her, to be the one who figures it out when it comes to money. She says this doesn’t impact her really, but we all know it actually does. Even if you choose to ignore it, debt weighs on you and limits your opportunities and your autonomy. I hope she follows through on her plan and learns what it feels like to own your power as an individual before moving into a marriage.

@mangomadnnesss Жыл бұрын

I dont think it “weighs” on her really. Its almost like she thinks its her own money that she’s spending really.

@josephgutierrez8430 Жыл бұрын

Bro she's seems nice, but it ain't worth it. Run!!!! Don't walk away. RUN!!!! The debt is a symptom of a larger problem. Anyone who is not willing to take responsibility for their actions and thoughts and problems, as an adult is not someone who is ready to start a life with. Your gut in not wanting to commit now is a strong sign. Listen to it. I was listening on Spotify but I felt compelled to come say this. RUN ADAM RUN!!!

@tinaanderson9952 Ай бұрын

Exactly

@jenlollygag6815 Жыл бұрын

Ramit's job is really hard. He has to do so much heavy lifting here 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. He has so much patience.

@TheJrobalex42 Жыл бұрын

@Ramit, this was the episode I didn’t want to watch but needed to see. DJ IS ME. I have been stuck trying to figure how to get unstuck with the exact same debt, same thinking, and inability to see the solution - ‘I don’t know’ is the modus I operate from when anything gets hard. I am so glad I suck through this uncomfortable (for me) to watch conversation between yourself and DJ. She was the mirror I needed to change some broken mindset programs I have had. I have already changed back to using my checking acct and am ok if this takes me 2 years to payoff. I can not thank you enough for doing what you do. ❤

@adamgriffith768 7 ай бұрын

Make sure to set the exact date you'll be debt free and make a plan!

@JustAGrl007 Жыл бұрын

I can relate so bad at 37:22 …. I am the sister. I still can’t understand how all of my siblings grew up in the same household for the most part and I’m the only one that has something. I also really hate being one of the higher earners for my family, even though I don’t even earn that much and get looked at as a cash bank.

@lmespinosa7320 4 ай бұрын

It's the same with me and my family. I feel like all my siblings are impulsive and bad with money and I'm the planner who always has some money in the bank, and then get asked for money 😭 worse is then when they can't pay me back, they feel guilty and don't want to talk to me. Oh well

@Beebooopbeebeee 7 ай бұрын

I am addicted to this series. It really makes me think about my spending and how it affects my marriage.

@TrizazirT Жыл бұрын

She's moving everything in the right direction! More income, plan to pay off the debt, and a supportive partner. I love this hard conversation and creating the framework to have the best life ever!

@suzapalooza5388 Жыл бұрын

Wow- each episode is better than the last. Fascinating how Ramit can get to the basis of behavior. DJ- you are brave for airing your issues and it sounds like you are helping others also. Stay strong- it will make life so much easier and more enjoyable.

@DeniseDesarden Жыл бұрын

This was such a relatable episode for me. I do what she does and was able to get to the bottom of WHY I do it. Great episode. Thank you for helping us.

@Tracker5111 Жыл бұрын

DO NOT MARRY OR GET INVOLVED WITH AN ADULT CHILD!

@janebaker4912 Жыл бұрын

It looks like a dad and daughter 😬

@user-zm4rx2uq5r Жыл бұрын

I listened to this episode again and answered Ramit's questions and learned a lot about myself.

@coneil72 6 ай бұрын

Whew, the age gap between them is a huge elephant in the room. His perspective totally makes sense for someone later in life, especially post divorce. She's in a place where marriage means something different, means she's not supposed to be finished yet. As she says, she hasn't faced any accountability in her life. He's asking her to hurry and finish growing up. Best of luck to them.

@123meyca 5 ай бұрын

omg im 24 .. and im hitting my head against a wall watching this. How is it that people in their 30s+ don't have or at least WANT a savings? wow.

@guidedbybreath2702 3 ай бұрын

Ramit’s work is literally dedicated to uncovering the why- this episode is no exception.

@withyoctopus 3 ай бұрын

I still don't understand it. It's all about feelings. That's very vague and complicated. Her father gambles and therefore she spends? I don't get the connection. She wants "a rich life". And therefore wastes all the money she has. Doesn't make a lot of sense. He tries to explain but it doesn't become clear to me.

@caroldolan1485 Жыл бұрын

A big bucket with a hole. Run. A scarcity complex? Troubling. She just wants to live with him and doesn’t want to marry him. Good time to escape.

@melaniegirard1980 5 ай бұрын

she saw her dad getting away with everything and still having placement and no debt. because her mom did it all... she is doing the same thing expecting the partner to do the same.

@curtisdavis8594 Жыл бұрын

Thank You for the show!! This great inside information... Thanks the guest for opening up about lives..

@lalainenash2006 Жыл бұрын

I love this session. DJ is funny and honest while Adam is patient and level-headed. With DJ taking responsibility and accountability, to her problem, hopefully they will flourish their relationship for the better.

@flygirl2447 5 ай бұрын

YES DJ.. Sometimes you need to shut down your life temporarily to reach a bigger goal. It’s called adulting. It takes sacrifice. It takes saying NO to lots of things you want to do that would give you instant gratification in order to instead do the thing that would get you closer to your big picture. It takes putting new habits and behaviors into place. Until you make the choice to stop living a lifestyle you can’t afford and instead to live and make choices with intention, you’ll be broke. And you probably won’t be married to your current guy, who has already learned this the hard way. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

@33Jenesis Жыл бұрын

I would never marry a person with impulse control issue. It is a time bomb.

@kimferzoco6755 Ай бұрын

This conversation was very frustrating for me. I don’t understand why DJ talks about paying off debt as if it’s a mystery and out of her control.

@MeiravSeifert Жыл бұрын

I feel like they missed drawing a parallel between DJ and her dad - living in the moment and burying ones head in the sand about spending and racking up bills is a lot like the gambler mentality

@catherineclaire7429 9 ай бұрын

They didn’t need to draw the parallel out loud because it’s obvious. Adam got it.

@parkmi-ra252 Жыл бұрын

calm, calm, calm. then ramit breaks at 4:09 already 😆. appreciate how these conversations go though in a very non-judgmental yet no-nonsense way.

@magalimasson9472 Жыл бұрын

Ok that was amazing, the episodes are seriously getting better and better 👌 Thank you to all the amazing people willing to go on this show/Podcast, you are helping lots of people to learn ❤️

@cleaninglady9410 8 ай бұрын

DJ was a teacher? It amazes me that she couldn’t figure out that paying $2000 a month on her credit card didn’t solve her credit card problem because she kept charging more money every month! Duh!

@AaronKimmel Жыл бұрын

Ramit is so great with these guests. I've been following Ramit's work since the barefoot edition of his book and am so in awe each time another great product comes out. The guests are so brave to come and share their stories. So many people I know would have ended these calls at the "I don't know!" point. I believe I'm good with money and I still pick up lessons from these podcasts that expose my habits with money as well as in other aspects of my life.

@matti900 Жыл бұрын

It always amaze me how much you dig deep into someone spending behaviour. Fascinating!

@JakeRaymanVideoProductions Жыл бұрын

If THIS is just a warm up to the incoming Netflix show, MAN, the show is going to be AWESOME! These are encouraging to watch! So many take-aways!

@andrewrobinson2565 Жыл бұрын

"Everybody who uses a debit card has credit card debt." My wife and I ONLY have debit cards...cheeky 😊.

@Anna-qz6xw Жыл бұрын

My husband and I ONLY use credit cards, pay them off every Friday, and cash out thousands in rewards every year. Say hi to Dave)

@reynablanc5567 11 ай бұрын

If this couple gets married, DJ needs to fork over her paychecks and Adam can give her a prepaid card to limit her spending. Otherwise, I don't think they should marry. This is a tough one. I do wish them the best🙏

@PersonalFinanceDaily Жыл бұрын

It's so common for people to have this mentality around points card and the system is designed exactly for this. I am so glad for this couple that they're moving forward!

@isaiahayers1550 5 ай бұрын

It's crazy that people never do the math. I guess it's harder with points vs a cash back percentage. But still, getting back 2% on your purchases and being charged 20-30% in interest that compounds from not paying it off.

@judithbraun4854 16 күн бұрын

That was incredibly enlightening. Thank you for being so honest! I wish all of you the best in life ❤

@Esther-uo7fs Жыл бұрын

I don't think this is about money, I don't think Adam wants to marry her again. Period

@carolday3381 4 ай бұрын

Fascinating youtube channel,.. just had it pop up in my recommends and seeing that this channel operator is respectful; and kind to the people asking for help is wonderful. I can see tons of learning for me from this channel based on a glance at video titles from past videos. Very cool. Thanks. Subscribed.

@ramitsethi 4 ай бұрын

Thank you for watching!

@letsalltakeawalk6906 5 ай бұрын

Can't help but think about DJ's "good with money" sister. I hope she's well. Having to hide the family money from her dad sounds super traumatic.

@jainthorne4136 9 ай бұрын

I always think it's interesting to see how childhood echos in our lives. I think her sister got her mother's lessons while she followed her father's gambling lessons. She lives in the now and believes she will win. Her mother lived in the future and saved for that day. Her sister gained that lesson. Interesting that two sisters in the same family learned different lessons from their childhoods.

@LoraCorkhill-wm9pk Жыл бұрын

After hearing about her dad it helps me understand her so much better.

@debbykidd9813 8 ай бұрын

I love how the light bulb finally came on with DJ. After she pays off the credit cards, then she can use those points if she wants by charging and PAYING OFF every single month. She is much younger than me when I finally got it together. She will do great!

@jenheartbeawesome Жыл бұрын

Ramit you are awesome! This is all going back to her Dad's irresponsibility & her mom bailing him out & mommying him for years. She is living this codependent dynamic with her mom, her fiance & Ramit. Unskilled she decided to take full personal responsibility for her life she will stay stuck.

@mithicash1444 11 ай бұрын

Does anybody else get a really bad feeling about that girl. Every time she spoke about her spending I had bella ringing in the back of my head telling me she tries to portray a wealthy lifestyle more than anything. She wants to spend money on getting her hair done and on new clothes whenever she wanta, but that has many levels to it that they don't talk about. Some hair stylist and clothes are extremely expensive. She also carriea 15k worth of CC debt on a 92k salary... That debt should be gone 6 months onto that new job. That is a very high income and the fact that she hasn't paid it off yet is a big red flag for me.

@TWEQDvideo Жыл бұрын

Watched the whole series - great stuff

@sussie9895 Жыл бұрын

Ramit you have the patience of a saint… I felt like I was banging my head against the wall with the number of dodges and “I don’t know”s she threw back.

@allyeee Жыл бұрын

This. I’ve never been more frustrated but I know its because she’s not ready to face the truth of why she does the things she does. She can’t go deep or get to the root because then she’ll have to face herself and clearly she can’t

@shwaldman Жыл бұрын

Shaking my head at an hour 7 minutes because she just agreed to pay down her credit card at 2K per month, but she not admitting that she will still be spending all the other money in her checking account. It will take many more months than 9 months. She will lower that $2000 right away.

@georgina4874 Жыл бұрын

True. But, you could watch it in 1.5 speed or more.

@omaconstruction 4 ай бұрын

Yes!!!! I love that he won't marry your debt and take responsibility for it! Would you take responsibility for his debt! NOPE! YOU WOULD NOT!

@MarkusLaumann Жыл бұрын

That man needs to give her a timeframe to pay off this debt. Either she pays it off and they can get married for he moves on. If she cares about the relationship she'll figure it out.

@katie8325 Жыл бұрын

He has his own debt. Why is hers the priority?

@MarkusLaumann Жыл бұрын

@@katie8325 I never said his didn't matter. It's been a few weeks since I watched this but it seemed like he considered her refusal to pay down any debt to be a red flag. Not all debt is bad and I think he considered his to be reasonable. I also think he would be worried about what happens if they get married, she gets pregnant, then he can't afford to keep them afloat on one income. I could be wrong though. If you saw some thing different I'm open to hearing your take.

@acilirp Жыл бұрын

He's not in a rush to get married so deep down he may not want her to pay the debt so they don't get married.

@emmasarge4057 8 ай бұрын

Yes!

@rubired123 Жыл бұрын

47:00 this is so relatable to someone losing weight. They know they have to eat healthy and workout to lose weight. They’ve read a million books. But do they do it? Maybe not. They have the knowledge, but it’s an emotional problem.

@mangomadnnesss Жыл бұрын

This conversation would’ve been way more productive if Ramit was talking to Adam and Adam told her. She obviously values him more than herself and is only trying to fix this for him. I hate that for her but I hope she realizes her value.

@AlmaCastro-tx8of Ай бұрын

She’s smiling like she’s so proud of it.

@darlenesousa8421 Жыл бұрын

She's her father. Someone will take care of her and it'll all magically work out

@kenny3269 Жыл бұрын

This comment is spot on. She dances around it but she wants to make lifestyle decisions and someone else will make it all work. Frustrating bc she knows the language of finance to a degree but then says “I don’t know.” She doesn’t want to face reality.

@fsm12385 6 ай бұрын

Love the breakdowns

@widerman2000 10 ай бұрын

I see the men here thinking about money in a practical, “black and white” way. Then when I watch her I see a beautiful, emotional, intelligent woman who has no self esteem, and no faith in herself. I don’t see how he can be the perfect match for her. He’s worried about money and protecting himself. She is obviously looking for love, security, and someone to be a friend. She needs to work on her self worth. She needs to trust herself, and celebrate that she is successful and capable. I believe once she changes her self view and treats herself with kindness - her habits with money will change.

@CherylWickham 3 ай бұрын

Amen. She was making twice as much as him, is far better looking and seems pretty smart. She just needs some self confidence! Her debt is minor. Ramit spent so much time on it and let her boyfriend off scot free. Something tells me his finances are probably not perfect either.

@atio5491 Жыл бұрын

Knowing what to do and doing it are two different things especially when there are no consequences. Its easy to create a spreadsheet but to have the discipline not to buy that stuff or save money is the problem. It takes discipline to think you have access to 'free money' and you choose not to buy that shiny stuff

@GregFitzgerald1 Жыл бұрын

awesome ep thank you and can’t wait for the netflix series!

@justsarah5085 Жыл бұрын

What a great episode! ❤

@Artsysomeone 5 ай бұрын

I feel her on an emotional level. I would love to see her get out of debt

@setodd2098 Жыл бұрын

So I'm only part way through.....but all these comments seem to focus on DJ, but i think she's an easy target. Adam is avoiding how much his divorce affected him and unwillling to directly to ask for what he needs, which i wonder if he believes allows to be blameless. Not cool dude.

@elizabethreyes3599 10 ай бұрын

Just bought your book midway way through the episode!

@Mariposa77755 10 ай бұрын

I love this episode, really resonates. Thank you!

@olgacasillas7110 Жыл бұрын

I loved the show and watched it completely. I loved it.

@Datcomgaming 10 ай бұрын

My ex was like DJ, a believer and Avoider. She never wanted to talk finances with me and overall it frusturated me because she thought that her money problems would just go away. Yet she refused to change her lifestyle and added more to her monthly bills and never thought about a savings or anything like that.

@muemue888 4 ай бұрын

she want to live a more extravagant life style but fails to see that her man is already living like a CHAMP on 50k! If she just adjusted her habits, realizing there's no need to consume in excess, she could be living "rich" and worry free in a matter of years.

@bellabobbybob3476 10 ай бұрын

I think Adam shouldn’t marry this girl even she paid off her debt. That debt will come back soon.

@tinachristine4573 7 ай бұрын

Sadly, that's her way of doing life, and she'll either get more credit cards or find other ways to get into debt.

@racquelholness169 5 ай бұрын

but he has debt too

@juditharsenault2131 7 ай бұрын

I only have debit card. I haven't had a credit card for about 20 years. You've got me really thinking about my relationship with money and what's important to me.

@sct4040 8 ай бұрын

Whenever I find myself wanting to spend money on something I don’t need, but wanting the high of shopping, I have to go NO BUY for a months or longer. It’s an addiction.

@pearlivory3483 Жыл бұрын

Crap. I’m seeing myself in this lady. I’ve come a long way but still lol. I got some work to do.

@annoravetz5908 Жыл бұрын

I went through this. You have to make a commitment to stop spending, and chunk off those bills. I wish I did this to my husband before we got married. I did it for him after we were married, and he took it for granted. Paid off the cards, paid off his car, student loans, and they all went back up. I was his money machine for 14 years, culminating in the divorce. With me, saving was my way to deal with a job I didn't like. I wanted to pay everything off so I could quit, but it was like an eternal treadmill with him. Always something unexpected to buy--for him. I bought something I liked, and he would have something negative about me spending the money. Gambling addiction is shameful for the people who suffer with it. I totally understand why she saved it for last.

@AM-qk7ox Жыл бұрын

Something is off about this girl. I don't want to be too quick to judge but she has my spidey senses tingling. She's super sharp, almost like a con artist. Can't put my finger on it.

@deirdrekiely6187 Жыл бұрын

She seems like an airhead to me.

@mrs.rachelgerald1991 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing.

@lolitanolita9107 Жыл бұрын

The points are only if you use your credit card like an atm and you pay it in full every month. There are definitely consequences to her behavior... She just doesn't see the consequences... She is paying a debt infinity that never goes down.

@coneil72 6 ай бұрын

It's been 8 months since this was posted. I'd love to know how they're doing.

@marialittlefieldpradokurpu2061 8 ай бұрын

I ALWAYS told the children “I don’t know isn’t an answer” take responsibility! Was a way to put the conversation back on them. I used the winner vs. loser saying as consequence when they needed to step back and reflect on what they were saying or behaving

@amandalau7023 Жыл бұрын

Ramit I really like your podcasts/ KZfaq videos now, I’ve been listening to them since the very beginning and for sure I learn a lot about the financial world. Congrats and please keep doing it. I’m also gotta say the amount of adds you’re adding to the e videos are very annoying. Less adds please.

@TRUEEEEET 9 ай бұрын

First time watching the channel. I truly appreciate the honest of this couple. I feel like the host isn't just a "money man" he sounds like a psychologist. And I feel that once you are married you become one. So both parties need to be whole. I too don't think they should get married until she get her debt under control.

@lifeisbeautiful7452 8 ай бұрын

That was his major.

@jemmybarrera5615 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this podcast! I know it was hard to see these flaws for some people but it was great to see a lot of myself in her and see a mirror in my own behaviors. This has been very helpful!

@ShirellW Жыл бұрын

Damn, this shiii is good. She is literally getting a therapy session for free. I am getting stuff out of this that is for me too. I am at 43:01. What Ramit just said makes perfect sense. It doesn't matter how much debt she has or how much more she makes. The decision is being made on her emotions. Nothing to do with is she has the money or not and how much she is already in debt. Damn, this is awesome and crazy at the same time. I hope she goes back to view this to marinate, ponder, and soak this.

@tjackson3816 10 ай бұрын

I'm sorry. Watching this was exhausting. However, I love the way Remit is candid, direct, and not accepting her excuses.

@einstein1102 11 ай бұрын

She needs uncle Dave. The way she thinks about Credit Card, she's the perfect person for Dave Ramsey. She needs that push for her to turn things around because I think SHE CAN TURN THINGS AROUND.

@guidedbybreath2702 3 ай бұрын

Ramit did just fine.