Idk if it’s just me but I feel so proud after purging, it feels like I’m amazing and in control

i wish i could ask for help, but at the same time i dont want to get better

I just want to be skinny and pretty.

Im so sad I keep relapsing every week. I end up bingining somehow and the guilt is so intense i just cant stop purging.

This makes me feel so bad, I wanna cry so bad. I know it’s unhealthy but I just can’t stop.

I already knew most of these things, but hearing you actually say them scares the crap out me. It's extra motivation to stop. Thanks for another amazing video.

it might sound odd, but when you said it could really damage your vocals it really shocked me. because singing is everything to me and I cannot let this stupid eating disorder ruin my future. But I'm just gonna try to fight it. And I wanna wish all of you good luck too.

I want to tell my mum but she will just tell me I'm stupid. 😔

I start a the age of 13 yo because i was chubby and they was Bulling me now i have The perfect physique because of that but i will end this shit because i really deserve to Be loved no matter how my weight is

This scares me. A lot.

The thing is, I do eat enough. I make sure my calorie intake is enough for my needs and body goals. But whenever I overeat, or go over my calorie intake, that’s when I purge to “get rid” of the extra calories I binged. I really hope I get better someday, and everyone here too

You should have mentioned the electrolyte imbalances becoming life threatening, with cardiomyopathy, POTS, cardioarrhythmia, blood pressure changes, heart failure. The pancreas eventually limits secretion on digestive enzymes, microbiome imbalance in the large gut leading to infections, SIBO, having to spend thousands of dollars to fix all this after.

you saved my dughter

watched this started crying, realising so much

im 13 and my friend has just told me that she has bulimia, its really important for me that i support her as much as possible. she has an incredible singing voice and i will ensure that i tell her about the vocal chord damage. this was genuinely a helpful video

Moonlight Sonata in the background makes it really serious.

I'm so happy that I got out of the hell hole that is Bulimia. When I went vegan I told myself that this would be the moment I would change my life forever. I stopped restricting calories and immediately began eating 2,000-2,200 calories a day (without purging) and I gave my body time to heal. I learned to love my body because it's hard to get past the "bulimia bloat" stage but it's been two months and I haven't had a single urge to puke because in my opinion, the 'full' feeling you get from plant foods is no where near as disgusting as the 'full' feeling you get from animal foods. When you starve yourself then binge, you're more prone to eat animal products then have that greasy, gross feeling afterwards which will make you purge (in my case). Now that I don't eat those foods anymore, I don't feel the need to purge, starve, or take laxatives. My "recovery from purging" the first time (still eating animal products): -Lasted four months -My bulimia bloat lasted the entire time -I still starved myself and I still binged (I just didn't purge) -I had to fight the urge EVERY DAY -I still abused laxatives -I had no energy, I wanted to hide all day long -I was always in a bad mood no matter what My 'recovery' from ALL of it, the second time (vegan): -It's been two months (ongoing) -My bulimia bloat has almost completely gone away -I poop on my own 2-3 times a day -I never starve myself -I never have the urge to purge -I haven't used laxatives -I'm more active and have tons of energy -I'm way more happy than I've ever been -I learned to love my body I *do not* believe being vegan is the magic cure for eating disorders BUT I do believe it can be the easiest rode to recovery. With that being said, I believe you need to be in the right mind set in order to be on the rode to recovery (If you're not ready, a plant-based diet could make your recovery end because you'll see it as restricting even more which will bring you back to purging on animal foods). You need to be prepared to give your body time to recover from the punches it's received. You're going to have days where your confidence isn't up to par but you have to fight through that. Make sure you're ready to recover, that you actually want to fill up the void or else your "recovery" will end in a relapse. I hope every one who has this eating disorder saves themselves before it's too late and I wish you all the best, I know how tough it is.

My psychologist has told me I'm suffering from this and honestly I never paid attention to the symptoms. But the more I hear how dangerous it is I want to put up more of a fight, thank you for the video. I just wish it were something I could just stop in an instant.

you just saved my life. you've opened up my eyes with other videos and this one, i'm going to get help, and thank you

i feel like im not as bad as other people and that if i tried to stop i actually could but the guilt when i binge or just eat a little bit unheathy is so crazy i cant stop

I can confirm #1. I used to be an amazing singer when I was younger, but after purging for about 2 years, I completely lost my ability to sing, and didn't get help until then. Don't purge!! It isn't worth it!!!

I'm suffering from bulimia now and excessive exercising. And im scared to open up about it with other people.

All really important things for people to be aware of. Just knowing that isn't usually enough to just stop, but it is certainly an incentive to get help to be able to do so. Was a good Idea Kati. I made a vid a few years ago listing things like that called "Bulimia ate my hair," but I wasn't especially serious about it. I used a lot of humor which I think offended at least one person but I lived with the condition and some consequences and was losing my hair, so I still feel its okay to make jokes about something you are personally living as long as its not aimed at making fun of the people living it.

Hi Kati - DearMamaSal sent me! This is an excellent video, and I hope it helps lots of young people who are either considering Bulimia as an option to weight loss, or for those who are currently bulimic. I, unfortunately, can personally confirm every single risk factor you mentioned. There was no help for this when I was young, but thank God there is now.

Oddly relevant... A few months ago I relapsed and engaged for the first time in bulimic-like behaviours. I had never purged before and it felt so great but now it's starting to get out of control. Sometimes I get scared and think about telling someone and getting help. But at the same time I don't feel ready to actually do something about it... I hate this so much. I think another very scary, very important thing is the effects of electrolyte imbalances that purging can cause? I'm thinking of heart problems especially. Sometimes after purging I'll feel my heart strained, or a fuzzy ache sort of like a cramp, or just funny beats and chest pains... that's when I usually think "that's it, I'm not doing this anymore".

I have had this for so long - lost the will to live

Kati, I found this video around when you uploaded it and at the time I had never seen a video of yours before. I have suffered with EDNOS for more than half of my life and while I am just now new to trying to really recover, this video helped to wake me up when I saw it and I don't want to know where I'd be if I hadn't had this initial wake up call. Thank you for everything you do and for all of your amazing content.

I'm bulimic, have been for years. Is it bad that I don't care about the health consequences anymore? I already damaged my vocals, used to sing & was going to go somewhere with it but yeah that went to crap. I have gingivitis. I also have colonic inertia (my colon can't work on its own without laxatives) that is irreversible. And I don't care anymore. I will always be fat according to me. I will always FEEL fat. Therefore I don't deserve to live.

I love how u care for strangers. Ur amazing

I told my mum and sister about it and they are helping me through it. Tomorrow I’m telling my friends, I feel like opening to them will give me more perspective and shine a new light different to the one my sis and mum provided.(grateful to them ofc tho) I’ve been suffering for nearly 2 years with bulimia and half a year before(irregular purging ie- one every month) I’m ready to get the hell outta this mindset and unhealthy habits wish me luck for tomorrow

Thank you for your video it really motivated me to stop purging and just start working out and eating better. I am a male bulimic which makes it even more embarrassing to admit to people.

Another helpful and insightful video! Thank you Kati! Although I don't struggle with bulimia this is useful to know and I will know how to help my friends/relatives if they struggle with this ever.

Omg thank you! This is something everyone needs to hear!

Back in high school, I was starting to become Bulimic. I remember it getting so bad, that I started vomiting up small amounts of blood. I wanted so desperately to become skinny. Most people when they start this they're usually either at a normal weight, or slightly over weight. I was technically morbidly obese. I was at least 260lbs by the time I started high school. I was bullied and harassed about my weight, all through out middle and high school. At first I only did it to lose some weight, but something snapped in my brain and I couldn't stop. I ended up losing 40lbs by the time I left highschool, for having bulimia on and off. There were times I wouldn't eat for days, once I didn't eat for 4 days and my mom forced me to eat a bowl of fruit. I was terrified of food, and it didn't matter what I did, I never saw any progress. Even til this day, after 6 years after graduating high school. I'm at 200lbs, and I still think I look like I weigh 400lbs every time I look in a mirror. But the scale says otherwise. I not sure if this is something I should get help about or not. I keep dieting, but barely lose weight. For a whole week, (recently) I've been eating less than 1,200 calories a day, thought I was losing weight, but the scale said I gained 3lbs. Maybe I have to eat even less. I've been obsessively counting every calorie I eat. I thought about going down that dark road again, just so I can lose another 40lbs, but scared of what it will do to my brain and body.

THANK YOU Kati for talking about this. I'm a bulimia survivor here and chipping my front tooth was what finally brought me to seek help. My deepest regret is about the vocal cords. Trust me everyone, even if it were true that people will "like you more if you were skinnier", the additional approval is NOT WORTH going through this shit. Fuck them, you go love yourSELF first. (By the way, it's also not true. People like confident people. People like people who know and like themselves.)

Great video Kati; very informative and eye opening. Great work!!

Thank you for sharing, I've had different types of eating disorders during during these past 6 years, started with anorexia, got help, developed bulimia, got help, then ortorexia and now bulimia again. I am trying to get real help now, once for all, I just want to get well again.. anyway I learned a thing or two from this video ❤️

What about occasional purging? Inconsistently.

I lost almost 100 lbs in less than a year and everyone around me just congratulates me. Nobody takes me seriously when I say something is wrong because I’m “average weight” I am killing myself slowly and I feel it. I’m watching myself die but yet I can’t stop. I’m disgusted, ashamed, and depressed that this is what my life has spiraled into. At my job, at restaurants, I will purge anywhere. I’m scared I’m begging for help from anyone or anywhere

Your videos are all so helpful. Thank you :) You're awesome!

just cried after this, this hitted me so hard !

moonlight sonata. nice and dark background music. Great video!

This is the wake up call I needed!!!!

This is an awesome vid as more people need to know the reality that bulimia is hell. I've just turned 21 and been bulimic for 9 years. Recently I've been bringing up more blood than ever and I'm so scared, literally everything is red not just small bits anymore. Once I've binged I get so anxious I feel faint as I hate purging so much as my reflux is gone so I have to always use half a can of baking soda and 12 different sized toothbrushes to puke plus it takes me sometimes 2 hours. I literally collapse it's so exhausting. My body can't do this anymore and I hate it so much, I wish I could stop. When I was 16 I was sectioned and held down and tubed cause my anorexia took over but since then I've gained and relapsed again then had to gain for a operation otherwise they wanted tube in the last 3 years I've had 14 ops including a colostomy bag, ileostomy bag, catheter as pelvic floor keeps collapsing and prolapsing due to diet pills also. Heart problems, severe osteoporosis, anaemic and need ion transfusions often, my body is buggered up. My life is ruined me I'm just waiting for the time I don't wake up from a fall as my heart has said enough is enough. I've seen varies therapists but they have all given up in me. :-( I wish I didn't have this so much. If you can stop please do as I promise it will ruin your life, your body ect. I might not be able to have kids and I need another operation as another prolapse now outside my body. Life is no fun and all because of mia and ana. Please please find another way to cope, I beg you to avoid becoming bulimic as it quickly controls you before you know it. Xxx

I remember watching this a few years ago and when I heard about the reproductive thing, it triggered something in me that made me stop. I’ve always wanted a child and that’s what helped me get over bulimia

This is so scary but I’m thankful I’ve watched it. I’ve started purging again and I hate it so much. To any of you reading best of luck towards recovering.

I made my appointment with my family doctor because I get a lot infection in my throat and I didn't know it was because of bulimia !! Thank you for the information

Thank you so much sister . I have been throwing up my food , like over 4 months ig. And this video helped me a lot to get over my eating disorder....... I have lost some pounds but I didn’t know all these were happening along with purging... So guys please stop purging your food cause it’s LIFE RISKING. And the last day I purge is yesterday,and im not gonna do that again .... THANK YOU 🙏😊😌

I was clean for over a year and a half. I relapsed in January and I haven't been able to be clean for over a week since. I I'm hoping watching these videos will help me want to stop. I wish anyone struggling with this disorder and other eating disorders will one day recover.

That fact about looking saggy is so true I've been bulimic for almost 4 years I'm 23 and most people guess my age is 30. ugh...

I've been suffering from bulimia for more than a year now and in march 2015 things got extreme.. So i decided to get inpatient and talked to my therapist about it. She helped me to get accepted in one of the best clinics in Germany but now I don't know whether I should go there or not. First off, i stopped having my enormous binges (~10.000kcal, crazy I know) and I also started to purge way less. My last one is 2weeks ago and now I feel like I can make it myself and donvt need to go there. The other point that is making me want to quit this whole clinic thing is my family. They didn't even know what bulimia is and now that they do know about it, they tell me how stupid and fucked up I am. They say it's all non sense, that I just have to eat carrots all day ling and ride my bike more often and then things will be super duper good. They were sooo rude to my therapist, to my doctor and the psychologists at the clinic. They think I want to get hospitalized in order to lose weight, like wtf. My aunt is even offering me to go to Gran Canaria with her for a week in August so I won't go inpatient. The next problem is school.. I'd have to stay at the climic for 8 months but this means that I couldn't attend school then and it'd be my final year. So I'd quit the clinic after 3 months (in mid september) and go to school then. But I've heard that this clinic lets you go home after only 4months which means I couldn't go to school. I'd start the therapy there in early july. What do you think should I do? 😢😢 i hope you don't mind me asking

Im in recovery, and i’ve been 2 months without purging. but I want to so bad, but I know better. I wish you all the best of luck

i do not have bulimia. I haven’t been purging for that long, but everytime i eat i feel so bad because i end up binging and i just can’t stop from purging even though i know it’s bad.

I’ve been suffering from bulimia for 2 years now. It feels like it only gets worse, it’s so frustrating and upsetting. It’s taken over my life to the point where it’s everywhere in my mind subconsciously, almost Everytime I draw Or when I write my music I see myself only writing about bulimia. But now, I can’t even sing due to it, I hope to get better so not only I can be healthy, but I can do the thing that I love, music.

I wish you all healing and self-love

i keep switching from restricting to purging and it sucks. I just wish I had a healthy relationship with food

Thanks for this wonderful video. Ive been purging but I didn't know it causes a lot of problems and more trouble. Im scared :(

Hey Katy! I'm so very grateful for your videos! Listening to you when I had bad thoughts has really really help me get through some hard times! I just had a question regarding Bulimia - Is there such a thing as Bulimia without throwing up. Like for example over eating and then restricting? or is classified as something different?

Thankyou for opening my mind

I’m am bulimic, I binge and purge and now I have an abnormal heart rhythm and dangerous low blood sugar. I am consider obese according to my doctor. No matter how much I thought I could out smart my body it only stores anything I put in my mouth no matter how small. I don’t want to die but the sad reality is with my type of insurance there isn’t much help, I don’t want to die 😢

I have bulimia. This has been going about 5 months. I always wanted to stop but its so hard. i kept craving for food and i cannot stop myself from eating whenever i see food. I cannot control myself infront of food. All i want is to eat and eat everything what's infront of me. I won't stop until i feel throwing up. I tried to stop last week because i feel guilty about my mom cooking my favorite food for me but all i did is to waste it all and throw up everything she cooked for me. The thought of it makes me feel so bad. I kept wanting to stop but i just couldn't.

To be perfectly honest, the possible damage to my vocal chords is the ONLY thing that has kept me from outrightly becoming bulemic. I knew most of that thanks to my psychology classes, but it's always good to have a reminder. #katifaq Please do a video like this for #EDNOS . Thanks!

this was really helpful! thank you for informing me, great video Kati :) xx

I don't know if I'm bulimic or not

I’m scared to recognize it but I think I may have bulimia...I don’t want to tell my parents and I also don’t know how to approach them and tell them I might have an eating disorder, but this video motivated me to stop.Thank you! All the comments make me feel better knowing I’m not alone.

all i have is weight loss but also hair loss. my teeth became sensitive too and blood after purging. but i can't stop doing it. even though people said that i'm underweight, i still think that i'm not skinny enough.

Great video - very concise!

Thanks for this list!✌🌹 My bulimia spirals to restriction with intermittent fasting up to 22 hrs a few dys per week. Narcissistic abuse for over 12 yrs has triggered both eating disorders. I'm on a long road to recovery as I make videos.

I........have.......bulimia

Thank you i will stop now this really helped me

Hi kati! Thank you so much for your videos! I´ve been struggling for 3 years now(1 with anorexia) with bulimia and i´ve been really depressed from the consequences it brought...I want to be a musical theatre performer and of course i have to maintain my voice ( wich made me want recovery), but besides the rumination syndrome that is very had to stop (but is getting better) im really afraid this is ruining my future...i always tell myself i can stop it but it doesn´t and i can feel the swollen throat and sometimes sore now...Do you have any advice on how to recover faster and end this once and for all?? i dont have a future without my voice (i´ve already been offered a place in one of the top colleges for what i want to pursue and im throwing it all away...:( ) i hate myself...the worse is im gaining a lot of weight even dough i am purging less, and the axienty always turns me to food and binging...it´s disgusting...XX

I'm bulimic, but I only make myself vomit if I feel bad about what I ate. I normally just restrict by fasting. I know that I have an issue, but I honestly don't want help at all. Which I know sounds bad, but it's the truth.

Hi, I am getting shortness of breath and heart palpitations whenever I do anything even mildly and am so worried. Shortness of breath and I already have mild asthma, can you do a video on the causes of heart problems due to vomiting pls?

I have dealt with bulimia and my enamel is damaged and I am infertile but I also have stage 4 endometriosis as well. Bulimia is such a struggle and I am so nervous that I will go back to it at any given moment with every storm that comes my way...

this video, especially #7, made me tear up, fml forreal!

I have a problem but idk if its a disorder or what. You know that urge/need to eat? Mine usually occurs when I'm not doing anything or just bored or idk it just pops up in my head like 'hey you need to eat something even if you're not hungry or even if you just ate. Just eat something' and more often than not i give in easily. Because if i try to resist it then I would start feeling uncomfortable or annoyed? I would fidget and my toes would just curl in annoyance? lol yeah sounds funny but yeah that's what I do when im annoyed or uncomfortable, curl my toes to the extent that's it's hurting me. Immediately after eating, self hate always follow. I would then start checking every parts of my body. My arms, legs, tummy, the side of my face, chin, everything! I would literally check everything and that's when i'd start hating my self, start questioning every decision I've made in my life. It's like listening to your own brain yell at you "If you had not eaten you wouldn't have gained that much weight, if you had not eaten you wouldn't have looked this ugly. Yada yada yada yada.." *excuse my English, it is not my first language

Alright, Alright, Alright! Good video.

HI Katy! thank you so much for these videos! I have a quick question regarding bulimia and anorexia : What is the difference between Anorexia Binge/purge type and Bulimia Non Purging type ? ;/ i'm really super confused because until nowI thought that I suffered from Anorexia Binge/purge type but then someone mentioned Bulimia Non Purging type which i didn't even know existed and now I can't really tell the difference or what it is that i'm suffering from. Please if you or someone else from the comments could enlighten me that would be amazing!

I just really like the idea of food and the feeling of achieving something after I purged everything I ate and know that my stomach is empty again But then I always get scared that I didn’t purge all of it and actually consumed calories and starve myself for the next days I hate this cycle

Great post. Important!

I’ve been doing this for 2 years and I can’t stop

Would you please talk about dual diagnoses that can be linked: bipolar and borderline disorders? OCD and Anxiety disorders?

Is it normal to talk to yourself out loud and inside your head. I wanna stop it coz it bugs me because I should be doing homework and instead I have a 4hr long conversation with myself.

thank you, thank you, my life revolves around singing. i want to go somewhere with my singing, and i never knew that i could damage my singing chords. the reason i started was because i don’t wanna be my fat self. any tips?

once at my old job i noticed the area u pointed out when u talked about swelling of the face was sore. I felt it closer and could feel it was swollen...ive recently relapsed back into my bulimia behaviors. I've not purged today, but then again its early... I think I'm gonna go to counseling at my school maybe that will help....something has to

Thank you ❤️

Bulimia is horrible and for 23 years it's become a life! it controls every part of your life!! some behaviors for some do become less at some point but you never know when the affects are going to kick in and they are HORRIBLE...shaking all the time- feeling pain in your organs- acid reflux- nerve damage- electric shock like pains-... this is another hard part and it make recovery hard! if you don't have a serious support system in your life in person and not online- it won't work... this is very important that you have this in your life for recovery! I wish everyone the best if luck and a better understanding from.someone who truly knows what it feels like to go through this

What if we have bulimia where we don't self induce vomit; instead it's bingeing then fasting. Can it creat as serious damage? Great video, as always ;)

I am addict to this act, not ready to give it up. Don't think I will ever be ready

I've suffered with bulimia since I was 16. I've had veneers put on my front teeth, and I have a hernia in my stomach. I don't see myself ever stopping, though I really want to.

I've relapsed with my eating disorders. It's been a week, and i dont see it stopping.

I was bulimic at 16... I’m 28 now and I have relapsed on and off especially this year...I am so sad... I wasn’t vomiting for 4-5 years with one or two instances (relapsed) when I stopped...But I just...Ugh, I wanna slim just once in my life! Not skinny stick thin just slim with a completely FLAT stomach...

was bulimic off and on for 10 years and had 2 healthy pregnancies. wouldn't binge and purge when I was pregnant or breast feeding, but after they stopped nursing for good, I'd go right back to throwing up.

I wanna stop but it has become an addiction. Every time I eat something my very first thought is that I have to go throw up . Today i served myself some cereals for breakfast but right after I thought I shouldn’t have them so I put them back in the box . Then I had some nuts and felt guilt after eating. Later I had some ice cream and I made myself throw up immediately because of feeling guilty . That was my day .

Water, water based foods and tea. These help me a lot.

this is why i only purge when necessary. i try to restrict so i dont have to purge bc i hate purging. or i overexercise. but laxatives dont work as well

Heart failure is also something that a lot of eating disorder patients did from

Oh sh*t most of the symptoms suit me :( I've gotta stop from now. Thanks fot the video 😭

I often hear about people who have had an ED for like 5-10 years before recovering or something so can I recover even though I haven't struggled for even a year yet?

Number 3 kinda blew my mind. One main reason I've "struggled" for years is because I have such a round chubby face. What if it's a salvitory gland result of my "struggle" from the past 7< years...