Hey friends! Don't worry, we have more fun pride related videos planned, but this one's an important one since so many, especially young people, often find themselves in unhealthy relationships. This may be tough to watch for some of you. If you would like a follow-up video on "how to get out of a toxic relationship", let us know. And as always, video requests are welcome (no chapstick/kissing challenge though, haha!) Thanks and love!

Wow!! I've been with my current partner 36 years. She rescued me from a very toxic relationship. So a person can love and be loved after going through hell. Stay strong and safe. 💋

Being single is a nutritional meal!, I am uncovering a deeper world inside of me and it feeeeeeeeeels sooooooo goooooooooood 😘❣️

Gaslighting is THE WORST! Especially if you first experienced it from your parents because that can basically set you up to naturally gravitate towards other people in relationships outside your family that will gaslight you as well :(

Two days ago I just quitted the relationship with my PARENTS, cause it was toxic. This was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. Right now I feel very relieved. I also had a very bad relationship with someone, who had to be removed from my life by the court, cause he was dangerous for my life. I think this pattern stemmed from the family patterns I learned when I was young.

I used to date a woman who told me that her ex had been very selfish, controlling and manipulative. It didn't take very long for me to realise that she was exactly the same. It was a real shame, she seemed lovely on the surface, but I guess her ex had really done a number on her.

Major Red Flag if they say "You are lucky to have me" not in a funny/playful way but in a spiteful way

Light bulb moment ! I was in a toxic relationship for years and thought it was my fault . Single and becoming healthy , back to old me ! Thank You for this video . Moving forward , Breathe !

Some 3rd party perspective: My friend of over a decade is a lesbian has a history of dating women that are badly damaged. Last summer her parents left her alone in their large house, and she was succumbing to depression. She had dropped out of college three classes shy of graduating and lied to her parents about it, and got out of a codependent and abusive relationship. I helped her clean up the messes and gave her companionship. She started seeing this new girl that clearly had her own problems, and I told my friend that she should think about growing herself rather than diverting effort and attention to another person’s project. One year later, and I’ve had it. It’s too hard to be friends with someone who invites heartbreak into their life. No one is yours to save, especially if you yourself need improvement.

Never clicked so fast in my life, especially since all of my past relationships were toxic in one way or another. I'm not sure if I'm the toxic one or if I am just attracted to a**holes. Thank you for this video!❤❤🙌🏾🙌🏾

Getting out a toxic relationship was definitely one of the best things I have ever experienced. Not only did I feel relieved afterwards, but also tried to pull myself together piece by piece. I didn't know it could have so much influence on my current relationship/habbits/people skills, etc. It took me one year to find my true self back and let it go. To whoever is in a toxic relationship, be brave and you can do it.

I needed this over a year ago when I was with my ex boyfriend. He did all of the things you mentioned. He was verbally abusive, he gaslighted me, controlled me, was constantly jealous, got mad at me several times a day, and after all of that he was also physically abusive. I remember being so drained, physically exhausted, a couldn’t eat, and the entire time I knew that it was bad and needed to end. Thank goodness he ghosted me even though we dated for several months. He did me a favour in the end and I’m living my best life now, and I learned well.

Bravo Ladies! Thank you for addressing an uncomfortable yet extremely important conversation topic. I’m a Professional female who found myself in a toxic relationship. I never anticipated it would happen to me, but it did. It can happen to anyone. Your education level, social status, etc. doesn’t make you exempt. Yes, women can abuse women. Their abuse patterns stem from their toxic Family of Origin and their childhood wounds that haven’t been addressed. Toxic/Abusive people play these patterns out in their relationships and will continue to do so from relationship to relationship until they recognize their toxic/abusive behaviors, seek Therapy to heal and recover from these childhood wounds. I commend you for addressing the Elephant in the Room. It’s time that the Gay and Lesbian Community comes together and hold our partners, friends, and associates accountable for their toxic behavior. I agree, don’t stick around in hopes that they will change and the relationship will change for the better. Get out, don’t look back, go within and heal your wounds that allowed you to stay in the toxic/abusive relationship for the extent that you did. Thanks again ladies! You Rock! 🙌🏼💞

That music is really soothing...

When you tell your friends about your partner what he/she did to you, they tell you to forgive him/her. At the moment you tell your friends is when you are already on the edge and need help.

"Happy safe haven" love the imagery of this for a relationship. 💖🤗

Toxic relationships especially those with the people with cluster b disorder will break sooner or later. It is therefore very important for your own (mental) health to get out on time. As difficult as it is realize that there is really no mutual give and take or love. It's not a relationship it's a game.

Thank you so much for this video, I've been stuck in a relationship like this for 6 years, my partner has all those things and even more! I tried to have a proper closure and end things in a mature way but that didn't happen... I just keep running away I guess, but still thank you once again we need to be more aware when it comes to this

This is my favourite video of yours. Really important and very calmly and clearly explained. Thank you.

Thanks for this video, it is a topic that interests me a lot, often in relationship we are toxic to each other because we accept too much, too little and we take little care of ourselves... So we are unhappy, we make the other unhappy and we are not at the best of our energies and potential.

Thank you for this video, it’s very useful to recognize toxic behaviors in both parts of the relationship

i'd love to see a video on how to build a healthy relationship !

Thanks for this :) I'm removing myself from a super toxic relationship today

I know this feeling all too well. I grew up in a toxic relationship with my biological father. He would constantly manipulate me and control what I'd be doing. But I'd just obey him because I thought he was the ruler of the house and not my mom. Every woman in my family (me, my mom, and my sister) has had a bad experience with this monster. He was very homophobic towards me when I was outed at school. He manipulated me into not being a lesbian (saying that I'd grow a beard if I turned out to be a lesbian and it's not normal to be that way) and didn't want me looking up anything with girls in them. I eventually moved out of his house in 2017 and it was the best decision I made in my life. Now I have a really cool stepdad and I recently rediscovered my sexuality as a lesbian and even discovered my gender identity as being bigender. To those who are in a toxic relationship with anybody, let it be known that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. It may not shine now, but someday it will. Time will tell when your relationship isn't going out the way you planned.

Thank you so much for doing this video. This world needs it

Love seeing a healthy couple! You two are great. 👏🏼 I just got out of a toxic relationship and both me and my ex are working on improving ourselves and being more healthy individually.

U both are really an inspiration for all for maintaining a healthy relationship..thanku so much for picking up this topic. Lots of love for u guys from India❤

Great video, super important for any series on dating!

Yea I definitely feel like the gaslighting is the worst because you don’t know whether you should get out because it’s so confusing

I was in a horridly toxic relationship that took a couple years to extricate myself from. My self esteem was so broken that my friends urged me into therapy. It took a lot of hard work, & I had to fight through my own denial, because oftentimes being in a toxic relationship is what we've learned from the toxicity of our history with parents. It's so hard to break free. Hearing this just brought so much anxiety & pain to the fire for me, because I am still recovering from how destructive my relationship was. Thank you for doing this video, Alexis & Lilian. It is so needed, especially in gay & lesbian relationships where the abuse is hidden & not talked about. I'm now a psychologist & work with couples, often those struggling with toxic & irredeamable relationships. Bottom line, I often have to work with them to end the relationship because it just isn't safe.

Really important topic! Thank you♡

I love you both you have taught me so much that is why you are my favorite yt🙂 xo thanks for all the great advice I think im a better person because I really listen to you and do the work love you lillian and alexis

It was very emotional and sometimes physical she bought me nice stuff but treated me horrible the name calling and accusations were unbelievable

Thank you for this. I can't say why, but thank you for this.

Really interesting and important topic. It's also relevant to note that relationships can deteriorate and become toxic over time. And this is linked with having needs met and behaviours people employ to have those needs met. A person may not be fundamentally bad, but they use behaviours that are manipulative in order to get what they want. With this in mind, it is so important to set boundaries from the outset and continuously throughout the relationship to ensure the person isn't inadvertently manipulating you. I think this is important to note because some behaviours are so subtle and not as explicit as, say, telling you not to out etc. But, ultimately, if any behaviour makes you feel uncomfortable then this is not acceptable. And if you feel unable to communicate this to your partner, or if they are not receptive and don't make changes in their behaviour in response to your requests, then this should signal alarm bells. Stay safe, stay well, and stay happy everyone. Because we all deserve to be valued and loved. Great video, Alexis and Lilian. Keep up the good work.

Wow love this video, literally every bad sign you mentioned I've experienced in a previous relationship of 4 years! .. but thankfully I got out of it . There's always hope but focusing on self development was the most eye opening thing I've ever done . Stay safe 🙏 ❤

Thank you for this sometimes you need to hear some one say its ok to leave! ❤

Hey alexis and lilian! I live in a community where they don’t accept lgbtq..fast forward i am currently in a relationship with my gf and we have been together for around 7 years now and suddenly she told me last year that she wants to get married to a man because she wants a family and children which is legally bonded to her since our relationship won’t even be recognized by anyone. She doesn’t break up with me and wants us to keep our relationship as usual and at the same time she is in love with a man and they plan to get married this september..and i am still in the relationship and have to accept and support her through all of this.. i feel so stupid but I don’t have the courage to leave her because we are each other super best friends, we’ve been together through all lows and downs..and it feels selfish to leave her in this situation but this definitely kills me slowly..I don’t know what the right thing to do and i feel like i just need to bear this until the wedding..

great video like always, toxic relationships are the worst

not a funny video, but totally needed. thank you for making.

Love is no gender.....as long u share and give love to each other love is always win❤❤❤😇😇😇😇thanks for sharing 😇😇😇

I just escaped an abusive relationship it was unbelievable, I was so confused and I had no one to confide in .

Thanks so much ♥️ keep making great videos love you guys stay safe!!🤍

Thank you so much for this video, I have decided to end a relationship with my girlfriend after 6 months because of how toxic it was and how many problems there were. It's such an important topic, because only now I realize just how big of an impact it had on my mental health, so thank you very much for raising this topic❤️ A lot of trouble comes from mental health problems and I think it's so important to recognize unhealthy patterns and educate ourselves on personality disorders and how destructive they can be to partners.

My one toxic/abusive relationship I realized when she had me pinned up against the wall with an arm twisted around my back. I left her so fast. It was hard but she was not worth my life and well being. Everyone can do it. Stay strong!

I love all your videos esp the ones like thiss!!! Advices content!!! 😘❣️❣️❣️

Thank you. I've suspected that I was in a toxic friendship for a few months now. I need to "break-up" with her. I don't like how she makes me feel : Depressed, Useless, Worthless, Exhausted. Some days she's so mean and she takes so much space that I can't eat, I can't sleep. If someone I love was involved with somebody like that, I would tell them to cut their losses. I just need to remember that I am someone I love. I'm frustrated with myself though. With the way she treats other people, I should have known. I need to ask myself why I went toward her in the first place.

Some of these can extend to a toxic job. Thanks for sharing.

This is very helpful. Thanks.

Thank you I needed this. I think right now even if this help's one Pearson that's a success xo Great Job💙💜

A lot of people stay together for bricks & mortar. A lot of people stay together when they should have have left years ago. I say to friends who are in these situations think how you will feel at the end of your life when you realise you wasted yourself & your life...... on the WRONG person!! Great vid btw 🇬🇧🇬🇧🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈❤❤😁

which music did you use in the background lovelies? :)

Great video! Thanks!

Hey! I just got out of a long and miserable relationship recently. A big part of staying in it was feeling trapped for many reasons, but a big one was that I don’t know any other wlw so I felt like I should stick it out incase they got better because I’d never find anyone else. If you guys have any experience with or tips for dealing will loneliness and hopelessness of finding a partner in the future as a lesbian, that would be an awesome video in my opinion.

I fall in love with Lilian's voice

Thanks for talk about this.

Y’all voice so calm

👏 Love you both 💟keep going.

This really helped me ❤️

It happens that is for sure. I have had it happen to me. Had someone be toxic to in a relationship and to be honest I have been toxic with someone and knew to leave straight away. They just weren’t right for me. Goes both ways triggers.

Another controlling tactic is when they control your sleep. I was in a toxic relationship and this person would get so mad if they saw me taking a nap or if i slept in on the weekend. I would secretly take naps and if I heard them come in I would wake up and my heart would be racing. After the relationship it would be so hard to allow myself to relax. I didn't realize it wasn't healthy till a couple years later.

Im to blame for my relationship ending. :( i was so toxic…unfortunately it took me losing her to really seek change. It will take awhile but im working on it.

my gf just broke up with me today, and im pretty sure she was toxic, and i still love her so much and ive spent the entire day crying but i know its for the best. we were best friends as well. i lost a friend and a lover today.

I couldn’t use my phone , or go out without getting cursed out . I was called every name you can imagine than when I left she called everyone I knew to smear me with horrible lies I couldn’t look at anyone when we were out of the house .

Thank u omg

i would love a video on how to deal with toxic jealousy and dealing with own insecurities to be chill pls rip

You are such a beautiful couple.

i just ended a toxic relationship with my girlfriend....im back on planning to be the rich lonely auntie who takes care of her brothers family(that is the auntie in Little women)

I'm a man victim of narc abuse , discarded by my wife of 12 years for her target a lesbian woman who shares alot of my empathy and quality, I was curious if these toxic relationship can happen in LGBT community. Thanks for your objective information

My Gf broke up with me cos she said I was entertaining a guy when I dont have any dating app on my phone anymore and she didnt even tell me where she got that info and now im still clueless and wondering what I did wrong to her when her face is all over my fb. she left me wondering what i did and i think ill just gonna move on.

please make the video on how to leave a toxic relationship.

There's only one sign you're in a toxic relationship. 1. You're in a relationship.

very nice one :) by the way, i hope u guys will make more videos about learn deutsch, that will be great :)

10:59...would putting hands around someone’s neck count as physical abuse? Even if they didn’t leave any mark or anything??

I wonder if I will ever date a mature and decent woman, all my exes are toxic and gas-lighted me into thinking I was the bad guy...all I did was love them and they just used me and played me...ugh I never knew women could be more heartless than men💔

I am in a really bad phase...My bf is highly manipulative...any argument starts at another topic and ends me being culprit while he says sorry sarcastically... showing I was wrong then too he said sorry...if any of his actions hurt me then I am wrong because I shouldn't think that way....he planned a trip with his guy bestie around my birthday and he said he planned to be with me but there was no bus..blah blah blah.... I had a best friend and we fought over a small issue ...I apologized and tried to make it work for 6 months now ... our common friends suggested me it is too much and I should move on bcz there was no serious issue so I was just on that phase...and then she called him 2 weeks earlier and said she didn't wanna see my face again and she needed a place to stay ...so if she can stay with him...and he was okay with that 2 days ago they met and posted pics in social media...I have blocked him from everywhere and I am in my parents home so he can't make any contact with me

Hi i have a concern... is it possible that ur partner loves you but doesnt know where u really stand in her life.. like she is cpnfuse with lots of things.. tried asking her but she cant directly answer u coz she said she cant explain things she herself cant understand..

i get back my ex gf and its bad she try to manipulate me and i cant see some of my friends and she dont understand me i was stupid i take her back and plus sge try to change me and she say all the time same thing idk what i should do i get headache and i have to be careful all the time l like to be single i can do my own things i like

Lilian and Alexis How tall are you guys? ❤️ please notice

Do you think being the toxic one in a relationship is harder than being the victim? I think it might be true, cause as a victim you have more social acceptance... of course I'm not trying to support abusers, just wondering how would it be to think about yourself as the bad one. Or maybe the bad one never realizes?

Hi. Could you share your opinion on gender nonconformity in lesbian community and maybe what you think of non binary people?

ياخي 💗

My mom is really the queen of manipulator……

Everything applied to my past relationships that’s why I had to remove myself

i guess it s like baseball. 3 strikes you are out . not 4... 3 !

I realise there's some serious stuff here, I know as I was in one with a guy. But sometimes having a laugh heals, my only refuge is making fun videos with toys, heres kzfaq.info/get/bejne/n9qBhch9qMqbkmw.html Cute spoof with toy cats of Alexis and Lilian!

I love my Girlfriend😥problem is me I'm insecure and jealous of her😥so now I feel like my relationship is coming to an end 😭😭😭

Hi

25 types of kisses or kiss challenge

I needed to hear this, so true with my current husband. But it seems so hard to bring it up how I'm feeling. Cause he over talks me or try to manipulate me to not leave. I'm scared how he would react. We have a home and I moved states for him. I have no one to talk to cause I feel embarrassed. I married so young. I have no clue where to start.

Heyyyyyy

I see that Lilian cut her her again😊☺

My new name became bum b….