I’ve found that ignoring them drives them insane. Every Narcissist I’ve ever known absolutely can not handle being ignored.

“A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. They will be offended by the truth. But what is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing people’s true colors.” - Karla Grimes

I hope you have the time to read your comments, Christine. There are many videos on narcissism - most by very qualified people who have an alphabet soup after their name. Yet - you are the only one I've found who gives actual steps in words to counter the abuse. I'm not saying the others are not good, but after a few months I've gained a pretty good understanding of what and how a narcissist behaves, including the reasons and origins. In my case it's a covert narcissist to whom I've been married to for almost 40 years. At first I thought he was just a passive aggressive, who also suffered from childhood PTSD. Now I realize he is still passive aggressive, still suffers from CPTSD, but is also a covert narcissist. I'm not stupid person, but your giving concrete words to use has been a lifesaver. And, I thank you. Keep up the good work.

CCC - cool, calm, composed - never argue with the narcissist, their opinion about you is even less than irrelevant. this kind of composure is very difficult to achieve at first, but it does get easier with practice. Never give up. thanks, christina!

Similarly with the grey rock technique, I call it flat lining. Absolutely no reaction to their attempts at triggering. This is a technique I used for years working as an office administrator over the phone with unpleasant people. They yell away, and usually ask “are you still there?” My reply is yes, I didn’t want to interrupt. Nearly everyone apologies for being frustrated… wa wa 🤪

Great video. I've had to walk away from a narcissist and they came at me yelling, saying, the conversation isn't over because you say it is. Some are really bad.

I've been with my narc for almost 4 years. I just recently found out like a month or so ago that it is narcissism I am dealing with. I was lost and confused and thought no-one would ever understand what im dealing with and then out of nowhere I came across a few narc vids on you tube I felt like they were talking directly to me. Although it was somewhat a relief that someone could fathom what I'm dealing with it also shows me how deep I'm in and I really don't know what to do. I used to think she was just a spoiled brat who just selfish and self absorbed but literally every symptom of narcissism matches her behavior, it's so sickening. Now I can't even look at her and if I do it's a look of disgust because I just cannot be fake. She tried to hug me today and I'm thinking this chick is literally insane because I know she knows I'm all set. Ready for the kicker? We have a 3 year old together and my daughter is my everything and I refuse to let her grow up without me around cuz she 'll prolly end up a narc just like her mother and her 6 year old older sister who is already showing sever symptoms of narcissism. She literally says "look at me" all day long and I know it's because of lack of attention from her narcissistic mother ugh. Anyway I made a conscious choice to deal with the narc for the well being of my daughter. But I don't even talk to her unless she says something and I keep it short n sweet. She tries so hard to bait me but I'm the wiser now so I just block it and keep it moving lol. She's so awful that I actually feel bad because i know without that fake exterior she would implode and very capable of doing grave harm to herself and or the kids. But honestly I have no attraction to her anymore. It's been drained from like every bit of energy I have to even talk to her for 5 secs. Haven't slept with her in 3 months because she's a turn off. She goes out at 8 and comes home at 6am like I give to shakes, stay your butt out forever lol. She does thee most ignorant stuff you could think of. Ugh I apologize I needed a vent for a sec. God bless all of you and I pray you are aware of your blessings. Keep the vids coming it's like my only relief of dealing with this immature, self absorbed, irresponsible, unaccountable, pathological liar. She is so awful and that's not a hyperbole at all, I promise. Bless

I escaped a narcissist. Moved to a different town. She is saying she is homeless and needs me. I'm having a hard time not feeling quilty.

No power over anyone!! They are cowards

Sometimes these troubles slip in little by little until we notice something done once or twice to cut corners or to deal with a crisis, have become a pattern. A part of a new "normal" routine. When this happens it's time to reevaluate. Our priorities for health and well being need to be first and foremost. Others can decide to join us or not. But burnout can come to everyone who ignores selfcare. Don't worry, others may still insist on asking us to come up with corner cutting solutions, to create quick fixes to one problem or another. But once we have come to understand that their hurry up dynamic, can throw us off balance. That it comes at a cost to our energy stores. Knowing this in awareness, we can better decide whether we decide to cut a corner or not. I realized this when I noticed I was still in a kind of stress panic long after a recent event was dealt with. That kind of excited energy isn't necessary, even if others might find it entertaining.

My go-to for clarity/maintaining my sanity is the Common Ego channel after a year and a half with an abusive covert narcissist

In my family, I was the Scapegoat. My sister (who is a transgendered male) was the Golden Child. Unfortunately, I have to encounter her frequently. She is a huge Narcissist. She Gaslights me constantly. When my sister was my brother, when we were growing up, I always thought, "This is someone who has my back." I have found out that since we have become grown, this person did not have my back. In my family, I have to insert myself into interactions. I have pretty much abandoned this. The other day, when I was trying to join in a conversation, and couldn't get a word in sideways, I just started walking away. This was her comment as I was leaving: "She's leaving and I'm talking to her." I kind of sniggered to myself under my breath, but then I felt guilty and still feel guilty. I just keep thinking, "I am just as much a narcissist as her. I just walked off while she was talking." Knowing you're the Scapegoat doesn't mean it is changed overnight.

Thank you! Helps so so much!! Sometimes a person has to manage situations with elderly relatives that if caught off guard can really sock it to you. Realized on my long drive home recently a person who knows you since an infant KNOWS what buttons to go right after. Even more quickly than that local narc we marry later on etc. They love to see you so hurt, they know the look you give out to them as confirmation.

getting ready to watch your video. when i saw the title, my first thought was, i only needed one step with my narcissist........No Contact! It worked! Thank you for what you do.

Be aware of a narcissist that tries to apologize to you only to take them back/forgive them, but then turn around and blame you for it. It's never genuine with them! 💙KZfaqr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

Appreciate reference to to the physical response the body receives when they get to you. Very astute. My response is like am socked in the lower stomach, like just ate a tube sock. Goal is not to experience the response feeling, and if it happens; through healing, can let that sock just be there and not outwardly respond in a negative fashion.

Nope! No fear! Get healed you wont be afraid at all

This is so true, I wasted 26 years ignoring the red flags, these devices in people's hands have taken them away from real individuality, we create our reality and the consciousness of the planet is accelerating. This means people have to become more aware of who they are. When one experiences abuse, you first become aware of the abuse, then realizing you are a victim, With healing and processing comes strong boundaries built by confidence in your worth. After this comes a realization that the experience made you stronger and more of who you are and that the narcissist was simply a vehicle for your growth. Ultimately you then realize we are all a creation of our energetic spiritual energy and the narcissist was and is a part of us. In the end, we become accepting of the experience and knowing we would never go back to the previous unawakened and unenlightened version of ourselves. It is not by any means an easy journey and is filled with pain especially when we incarnate into a family with a parent of such characteristics. There is a plan and it is ultimately to drive us. You would love an awakened version of you.

This is very wise advice. Don't get pulled in to getting emotional during one of their games and try to emit a lack of fear or energy that gives off feeling intimidated by them. I do agree they can read energy. When I have been timid around these sort of people they take advantage of that but if they sense someone who won't take it they approach/interact differently.

The biggest narcissist I have ever known DOES have the strongest cognitive empathy which is a little surprising to me.

Great video!! I love all of your videos!!

Super description and very educational.

Went to counselling with my narc ex to discuss childcare arrangements and we negotiated terms. He agreed to everything until we left the office when he laughed mockingly and said he wasnt planning to go along with anything he d agreed to 5 mins earlier as it wasnt legally binding and mockingly said not worth the paper it was written on.. He found it hilarious that I was upset.

Another great video thanks Christina 🙏👍

Thanks Christina! I found the beneficial with some stuff I'm currently dealing with.

I just wanted to say “THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!” To you and other content creators for teaching me about covert narcissists. I wish I had known these people existed 40 years ago, before two failed marriages and tons of heartache and suffering. I just avoided a major bu113t, an attempted Hoover from an abusive narcissistic BPD stepdaughter. The previous me would have fallen for her BS. Now I can see right through it! Thank you!!! 👏👏👏🙏🙏🙏

Excellent!

Hi Christina, thank you for this great advice. ❤GB

Excellent advice

It came in email. Sorry. Love your work. It rings true in so many ways whatever the relationship dynamic is. What I bet you’ve encountered though (as have I) is that being in tune to this behavior, you actually get shut down more like “you know it all,” right? It’s never ending

Thank you.

Great tips and and support I found that something I could do to help normalise the conversation when I needed to continue talking to the narcissist, was that I would initiate the conversation with "hi, how are you "? , as if he was just an acquaintance who had no control over me at all . it helped me to feel empowered to continue in the conversation, and to be objective.

Thank you

Best solution is to leave these evil people alone. And hope that God judges them, he is the only One who can do it.

I'm here 11/5/23 🎉 loving your gold 🪙 blouse and the amazing earrings loving the lip color too Okay Tfs ❤ you're awesome and so Easy to listen to and give amazing and powerful advice and knowledge ❤️🙏🏻 XOXO 😘

Thank you. It is difficult dealing with my aging 81 yr old mother I help a few times a week, until I I have take a break from her. I call it Putting her on Probation, with the longest time lasting 8 months, unfortunately. I do my best to not show any emotion to something horrible she said or reminds me of. It's not easy. 99.5% I leave emotionaly exhausted, resentful, sad, hurt and angry. I am speaking to a therapist to help me, help my mother. She is really Good at what she does, even at her age. Thank you for the video +Common Ego Angel from The Bay

"Doing it with your hands clean". That must mean that you have done enough internal work that you are ready for boundaries instead of blame for how you feel. You have identified the source of your victimization and do not need the victimizer anymore to validate that. You enforce boundaries without doubt about what is yours and belongs to you and you can negotiate for everything about your respect in every exchange.

This just came up in KZfaq. I will watch it later. I TRIED putting my husband in his place and gray rocking him, AND being distant. HE HASN'T NOTICED!!!!!!! And I think he knows I'm trying to record him, because he plays nice when he sees me grab my phone! Then he makes everything out to be MY fault when I catch him lying, giving me half truths, making excuses. I AM DONE!!! I don't know how to get out of this marriage!!!! I AM GOING CRAZY!!!!

This is great advice but it does not work in a workplace in which your manager and his manager and his manager's manager are either narcissists or have a symbiotic relationship. When I worked for the federal government, I stepped into a toxic situation. The lab had an image of itself that was grandiose. It had a history of blame shifting, disparaging, and triangulating. It had a toxic relationship with its customer and former oversight organization. They were able to scarlet letter me despite the fact that they violated standards of quality control, test planning, and statistical practice and reasoning. The lab itself and and high as I could see were so political that they could ruin the career (there anyway) of someone who was only attempting to help the kisson by putting its testing in a sound track. They tried to influence employee satisfaction surveys (FEVS) and politicized performance reviews, which amounts to stealing. The level of narcissistic strategies, Duning-Kruger, and entitlement wer astounding. It tooke a while to come to grips with the extent of dysfunction in the system. Sometimes, one has to walk away.

Would any narcissists also listen to something like this and develop more tactics to deal with their victims who are thinking about defending themselves? One of the narcissists’ conversational tactics to mess up with you is to trash the conversation by saying something completely unreasonable and irrelevant beyond your imagination. If you ever outsmart them once, it’s going to be extremely unacceptable for them and they are going to work hard to attack you harder next time

Can you please make a Playlist of narcissistic parents. Please

Love your super helpful content, but the little zooms and your moving around via editing is very distracting. It borders on motion sickness inducing. Again, awesome content!!! Thank you for sharing!!!

How can one be certain that the person they are dealing with is a narcissist? We have neighbours who we suspect as being such and we are at the level of having the police intervening because we no longer want too be in such a dramatic interaction. I just want to be sure of what kind of people we are dealing so we can handle this issue correctly. Thanks

Where is the download? It’s only sign up pg. (which I did but still no 8 pg printout).

The only thing I've learnt is you can't assert yourself with these people, even if you are coming from a calm place, they don't like to be told, period. It's probably why I create an emotional distance between my parents but I only have to say one word, about something I don't like and my Dad is quick to point out I'm starting something when Mom is crossing boundaries the minute she walks in my house but you try telling someone something and he's in my ear trying to appear grandiose because I'm loosing my cool and Dad feels comfortable to express with his face that he thinks I'm stupid. Usually I put on a mask around my family like not bothered, don't care nothing can penetrate this and I'll do what I want because I refuse to be controlled. I've got emotionally blackmailed and threatened by my parents and all sorts and I remember this more so than the times I get on well with them but I do know when Dad's not on one he can be either alright or very kind. I've learnt I can't express any emotions in front of Dad angry or sad, when I was so I'll and I couldn't take it anymore I cried on the way down to the doctor's because he was taking me, he's not a monster all the time but he told me not to cry, he told me to stop it and I ended up having panic attacks at the doctor's but we didn't know this was why and I ended up being carted off in the ambulance. I try not to get upset in front of my family because I'm giving them an opening for them to know where it hurts. I usually get upset without them around but times when I am emotionally vulnerable I don't want to see them, because to be around them they try to take away a lot of my pride, my self respect, they devalue me to my face and just look at me like I'm stupid for over reacting or not agreeing with them. It takes a lot of mental strength to go there sometimes and even when I'm around them, I'm never comfortable but the bottom line is you can't put Narcissists in their place without them trying to one up you don't forget they are better fighters why wrestle with them? Every now and again I say something I'm only human and I accept that but I do have to employ strategies especially the act don't react strategy because they can use my anger or anything I say against me. It is like I'm in a court of law where anything I've ever said is manipulated around to mean something different so that they're like wounded soldiers. They'll say I said something taken completely out of context and then demand did I or did I not say those words and if I'm not careful they'll win their statement on that and then they feel justified to do whatever it takes to get me consent to the specific words and then how they came across.I've really had to do a lot of work to know this is what I've got for a family, like I say they're not horrible all the time but the things they say I wouldn't say some of the things to my worst enemy because I've got a line and they know I'm a lot kinder than them, sometimes Mom has gone well we shouldn't really be saying this stuff (because they reserve judgement and harsh opinions on others too) and I'm too nice. No, I'm not I'm just your average decent person, I don't go around taking other people down and I take away my time from family members who are that bad.

Thanks. Very informative

I have noticed that narcissists work together when it looks like doing so will bring them more pleasure. Like for example when swinger husbands decide between the 2 of them before informing their wives that they want to swap them for awhile. Of course it is far less obvious before that when they are going out hunting for chicks together on their single boy's night out except for in the sports arena locker rooms of course where us women are not allowed. That's why it is an excellent idea to cultivate a friendship with a gay man who could warn you about that sort of thing heard in the locker rooms while you are a single woman.

They are void of value 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Isn't getting a third party involved the same triangulation that the narcissist frequently practices?

to be fair, I wasn't married to him. He's in another state, so it was pretty easy.

How I wish I had seen this vid three hours ago...

What if a smart narcissist listened to this lesson and recorded part of the conversation with his victim when he or she lost their temper and called his name to prove his narrative before the victims thinking about doing it? You know how easy it is to compose an audio or video. And the most cunning and evil narcissists always seek upper hand not just in psychological realm.

Can they heal? How do I help them heal?

Find the truth then tell it

Narc victim : "..after NO Contact, I went back to put the narc in their place....." ((..."4 YEARS LATER"...)) Narc victim : (watching video)

They are noisy and possessive yurk

Complimentary Workbook would not download.

Hello i have question for you i have always what to get back at my ex boyfriend Morgan for two timing me in high school what happen if i was married to Morgan i start to see my ex stephen a again and i tell Stephen i what to affair with him to get back at morgan for morgan two timing without having sex but only seeing Stephen and texting him then meeting up with Stephen and only holding hands and kissing and hugging him without having no no no sex with him what of type of affair would had be. 1 emotional affair 2 romantic friendship 3 physical affair 4 emotional and physical affair without having no sex P.S it will never happen it only thought over it Thank you for your time from jess Stay safe and well

Thank you.