1. “Men value respect: don’t disrespect. even once can have long term effect of resentment. Rise to be an elegant lady. 1. “You’re Not a man” 2. “How dare you” 3. “All men are trash” 4. “You’re not my type” 5. “There are better men out there that will like me” 6. “When are you coming…”. Wreak of a desperate woman. Love will be compelling. 7. “ I “don’t know why I’m wasting my time with you!” 8. “Be a man!” “Man up” Watch your words carefully Great video…worthy of many revisits Classy Lady!

I never interrupt my husband or over talk him. When he is finished talking, if I don't agree, I will say I see it slightly differently. If he's in a " mood," I never press the issue. I'm very patient and wait for the right time to introduce my idea or point of view. I've never failed with this approach.

I've missed you. I am very lucky my husband and I respect each other . I've been married for 15 years staying strong. Hes so kind to me. We never say hurtful words to each other. I am truly blessed.

If a man is rude or disrespectful towards you. Quietly walk away. Don’t downgrade yourself to his level. We are above that. We certainly do not need to accept any negative behavior. We just don’t need to become the exact thing we dislike. We have the ability to walk away with our dignity in tact. (This 100% does not apply to women in abusive or controlling relationships. You ladies deserve no judgment, just prayers for a safe outcome)

I've been married for 5yrs now and I have never argued with my husband, I go completely silent when he's angry,or when he brings up a topic angrily, sometimes he may be the one at fault but I always wait for him to calm down then we talk and iron things out. This is really working for me

Yes! I'm 60+ yrs...We were taught this by the older women in the family early on growing up... thank you for bringing us back to the proper foundation ❤❤❤

Everyone makes a mistake in saying or doing the wrong thing, men and women. That's where forgiveness comes in place. Otherwise we would all be perfect and no one is.

As a counseling psychologist, this is EXCELLENT advise on all levels. 😊

So I have been single for about 8 months and my ex hurt me alot. I did love him. But up until now I am genuinely sorry for some of the things I said to him. We weren't good for eachother and that's still hard for me to grasp. I'm just going to try my best to never make the same mistakes again. Lord help me as I try.

Dating/Marrying a woman who can't control her mouth when she's angry is like dating/marrying a man who can't control his hands when he's angry. Thanks for the insight, I'm a New SUBSCRIBER 😊

My ex husband and I had a very tumultuous marriage. He was quite smart in what he was doing each day to destroy the sweetness I had, because he knew the marriage was destined for divorce. He disrespected me so much that I had to develop a character to deal with it. But he wanted to destroy me for all future relationships and program a call and response that would always lead to destruction. I realized this and began to unprogram myself and it took 5 years. I now do not engage with men like that, only gentlemen, and I never have to raise my voice. I just have to be sweet even when they may be annoyed and they melt. It really is just a better way for me to live.

I remember seeing women around me talk horribly to their men, and I vowed never to do that to the man I would date. Men have feelings too. And we must think about how important it is to treat people the way you would want to be treated. It matters more than we think.

As a divorced man who has been through the mill, I say you are mostly right. Unfortunately most high profile /alpha /high value women I are unable to leave their work time weapons at the door when they get home . Many such women feel the need to fight to get their opinions across. As much as men like to be right (due to our logical way of thinking) we do appreciate a woman who can tactically prove us wrong. A smart and supportive woman is a huge asset. We will do anything to keep her. PS: keep up the good work

What beautiful message..how many marriages might have been saved if words were chosen carefully..ty

Wow, if a man wants you he will move heaven and Earth to be with you , I love it🙏 thanks so much

Well, I'm a man that just happened to stumbled across this video, and I must say that, even though I should not, I'm surprised that there is such wise ladies like you out there. Living and learning. But I tell you one thing, certain kind of men reaches a point in life when its prepared to accept life just the way it is, and women like you, is not easily find in every corner.

Leveling up must be done equally. A successful couple admires each other’s strengths and attributes, but more importantly is allowing respect, boundaries, friendship, trust, healthy communication during difficult times, allowing space for growth and teammates throughout your journey. The work continues at every turn. Both men and women need to step up and do their part for a healthy relationship to rise and stay on top.

Man avoid woman who generalized them, avoid calling him a dog because even you will not like to be with a man who thinks all woman are crazy. Stop making him think he is not good enough,never compare him to another man, stop hurting him but love him for who he is, thank you my friend for sharing and much appreciated.

I think it can be said that if you have to say any of these statements to your partner then you need to re evaluate your relationship and he may not be the one for you.

Thank you for this video 🙏🏾 I grew up in an environment where disrespect and bad behavior were very normalized. I found myself saying a lot of things that you mentioned in your video to my partner and didn’t realize how hurtful it could be 😢 I’m currently working on this ❤️

I'm a much older woman and consider this a very wonderful piece. A forever blissful marriage can be built on these your advice. I respect you my daughter. God bless for touching lives positively.

My dear Miss Vivienne: This video comes in the right moment in my life. Your advice and wisdom continues to be a treasure for me. It made me realize how in many interactions with the wonderful man in my life I’ve lost control and especially how I’ve abandoned my energy as an elegant feminine woman. Thank you from the deep core of my heart ❤

I love every single word you said.. Thanks so much for bringing values back in the society that has lost discernment , have less tolerance , no manners and Less patience.

Emotional intelligence is key in any relationship irrespective of who they are, respect everyone including your children because that how they learn to treat others including themselves❤

Yes true men we do cry ,we got feelings too. it's very heart breaking to hear such words.all we need is respect 😢

My husband of nearly 30 years and I enjoy a very good marriage in which humor is very important, I was just curious what would happened, so I walked into his office (at home) and yelled at him that he was pathetic and he wasn’t a man (all things I have never said to him ever) he just got a funny look on his face and asked if I wanted to see proof!!! I just burst out in uncontrollable laughter! I love that guy! 😂😂😂

Thank you Sis. I appreciate you sharing with all of us. I had the incredible opportunity to grow up around my AMAAAZING Grandparents who were married for 62-Years before my grandfather passed away. I watched my grandmother apply each and every one of your points throughout my life and am truly grateful for her teaching me the right way through her demonstration. Lots of ladies did not have this kind of teaching in their upbringing. I appreciate you reminding me too to keep a guard over my words and continue speaking with love and kindness always. Blessings to You from America🌻💖

Great advice and lessons! It’s also important that men respect their partner or wife in front of the children. This sets the tone in the home. Once a woman is disrespected in front of the children problems begins amongst both sides, mother and father. The man is the head and he sets the tone in the home and the lady is to make the house a home. As a woman I learned that silence sometimes is power when it comes to being angry because words is something you can’t take back.

Husband here: I cannot discuss my opinions about various issues with my wife (political, social, etc) because she only want to talk if it directly affects our children or household. I hear her talk about her opinions on issues and I may disagree and want to get to the heart of the matter to understand her reasons deep down why she feels that way and express why I feel different and she shuts me down assuming that I’m just regurgitating political talking points and won’t hear it. As a result I feel disrespected and unheard. Then I don’t want to talk with about issues that she may even be interested in discussing with me for fear of similar reactions. I feel like to her my opinions don’t matter and I’m already married to her so I feel like there is nothing I can really do but tolerate. So I compartmentalize and maybe even lie to myself that I love her to keep the status quo. I do have love for her for her many qualities but this feeling lingers and is exacerbated when she lectures me about things she has told me already a hundred times before. (Telling me she doesn’t trust me) I find myself getting distant from her and I don’t like it. So I make an effort to get close but I feel we can’t talk freely about whatever I want to talk about so I just go off and watch television or something. I love her but feeling disrespected I feel trapped. She hasn’t apologized for anything and admitted wrong doing in twenty years of marriage and rarely expresses gratitude for things I do. (I’ve apologized a thousand times) When she had told me she wants me to do things and I finally do them and change my habits she acts like it is a basic expectation and doesn’t change her level of affection towards me and I express to her often that I need more affection from her. I always give the affection but feel like I rarely get it initiated from her. She readily accepts affection but I never feel like she initiated it. As a result I feel like crap. Tell your sisters that this behavior is a mistake and they should look for the signs and avoid them. Before I resigned myself to this reality and simply accepted it I attempted (but failed) self deletion twice but later just focused on other things in life to keep me sane and decided I would hurt too many other people in my life if I ever succeeded in that. So I simply exist. I wish I felt like I could really deeply communicate with my wife but it doesn’t really happen much. I don’t feel like she wants me and intimacy involves me always focusing on her enjoyment but never her focusing on my enjoyment. So I often wonder if she really loves me. So I admit I feel depressed and I’m just working to recognize the signs and trying to work on myself to work through it. I’m making progress but it is a long road.

I had my ex wife say that she had men in her FB inbox asking her out on lunch or dinner dates as if I was gonna be mad. Straight up told her “Go ahead and enjoy” Left her soon after.

I'm 80 years old, I've never heard such true words, thank you for sharing them.

No matter what these men do, you can't say anything about it or they get offended 🙄. My ex did so much nonsense and everything I said to him about it was an an issue. I've never used any of these statements and he was still feeling disrespected. I had to end things.

Very good and solid information here. I've been married now for almost 23 years, and I learned early on not to make my husband get on the defensive...he is 100 percent man. And I love it! We had a long discussion regarding what I'd said, and that was that. Got a big kiss, some flowers and perfume at the end of it all. I love him!

I was very disrespectful to my husband in the past and said many hurtful things out of anger but over the time I am improving my language and your video popped at the right time. Will be very careful with my words in the future and thanks a lot for this wisdom.

I always try not to make these mistakes but through your videos I learn to be so much more mindful of my actions. thank you very much Vivienne for educating us so wonderfully.

I feel it took courage and perseverance to do this Miss. Vivian. Thank you for helping me grow through your well thought out act.

Thank you Ms Viviene. Your advice is a powerful cement that keeps marriages strong and intact. There was a time i lost my job and became a victim of verbal and physical abuse from a wife who thought i was no longer man enough to take care of the family. I received all sorts of verbal abuse. But i kept trying to keep the family together. She was working somewhere and she kept on telling me that i was now useless. The pain was growing inside me everyday. One day i tried to jump infront of a moving train to end my life but God intervened. I ended up going to a faraway place where after a lot of struggles i ended up being uplifted to success by Gods grace. But some broken hearts will never mend.

Vivien, I'll cast my vote for you as the woman of the year. I may not yet have mastered how to exercise self control the way you or some women out there may have, but at least I can decern sound advice when I hear one. I pray God takes you from glory to glory

Thank you so much Vivienne! I wish they could play your videos for every woman to hear. So many have gone so far from this self-respecting way of living and have normalized boisterous, unkind, vindictive, venomous behavior that it's unsettling to see how they disrespect their men. I am embarrassed for them and sorry for the men who think they have to put up with this behavior. Keep up the good work. I plan to use this video in church to help our females; the old settled ones and the young coming up. You are quite a refreshing breath.

WOW...insightful video Vivian 🙏🏿thank you. I am a mouthful woman with self-control. Sometimes my emotions do get in the way and stepped on a man's ego.

Thanks for saving me. My boyfriend has been driving me crazy for the last few days and I was ready ot drop a bomb of words on him this evening. Thank God you shared your thoughts now I know how to tackle the issue

What a beautiful thought. You have just hit the nail on the head. Respect is more important to men than anything else. I appreciate your video and honesty so much.

I love this channel!!!! Vivian/Vivienne is an amazing woman who is empowering women all over the woman. God bless you!!!

Thank you woman of elegance. You nail it on the head. I hope and pray that your marriage is peaceful and blissful forever. Amen.

Speaking as a man who stumbled across this video (ended up in my feed, somehow). . . what wise advice you offer! You have a cool head and a great ability to see things from another person's point of view. Particularly, a man's point of view. All of the statements you warn against are very hurtful to a man and damaging to a relationship. On behalf of those of us with a Y chromosome. . . thank you!

I so much love this. Thank you. I'll start practicing all of of this. But sincerely this can be very difficult when the man says all these words to you when he's angry, and sometimes you feel like saying them to him too, so he feels how it hurts and maybe change. Retaliation with same manner of speech seems the only way to let out your emotions and forgive the hurt. I know two wrongs don't make a right. But may God help us.

Thank you! This was very helpful. I'm the 8years of my relationship I recall using one of these not so good statements to not say to a Man. " How dare you" Not recently but I have said it in the pass. I'm grateful I have grown pass this and he was and still is patient with me. This video is very much appreciated.

This a wonderful piece of advice yet its Such heavy advice to digest, especially when the man treats you like crap and you are the only one trying.

Ehee!!😂 I was about to say one of those words. But I'm glad I've been corrected. My journey to elegance has been paying off through your videos. Thanks alot 😌💝

Thrilled for the new video! ❤ also, love my new Teddy Blake purse. Thank you for the recommendation!

Thank you for the reminders, dear. Your contents are always worth watching. Keep doing what you do because people like me need people like you. Bless your heart.

I really love this sister. You mirror into the hearts of men, and you surely do understand better.

I couldn’t agree with you more! Excellent!! Any woman who ignores this does it at their own peril. ✌🏿😊

This is the most constructive video I've ever heard! You're on point lady!❤

If a man “deserves to be disrespected” a woman should not be with him. I ripped my ex husband to verbal threads to the point he cried and said in over 25 years he had never seen me talk to anyone like I had with him. I apologised and felt bad I had lost all decorum. But I knew once anyone brought me to the level I didn’t need them to be in my sphere. Vivienne is correct…it’s all about the individual woman and her remain a woman of elegance.

This channel has become my addiction. These are the kind of videos I want in my feed. Thank you Vee ❤

These are excellent points! Truth be told, men have very delicate egos. Even the most secure "seeming" man has insecurities. The most important thing to a man is respect. If you always show respect to your man, even in times of anger, you'll come out ahead in the long run. He will also be more likely to show you respect in return. This is the most valuable advice you'll receive. Remember it, and practice it!!

I don't have patience when my husband does wrong and want to apologize, I always put him at awkward position, your video helps me make up for all the ill treatment I give to my man. Thank you!!!

Indeed, you are a blessing. Thanks so much. I have never commented on any of your videos, though I watch them all the time. This one is to the point and lessons well learned!!!

Spot on recommendations. I completely endorse your list and recommendations. Yes, a good man will move heaven and earth for a truly elegant woman. I fly as often as permitted to see my exceptional and elegant lady in London in part because she has never spoken anything like what you shared. Always elegant, unpretentious, and approachable has worked for me. This sister and I video chat many times during the week in addition to our efforts with flights across the pond. I enjoy spoiling her and never feel like I am even trying to do so. It comes naturally. I only today discovered your channel. It is a refreshing antidote to the some of the toxic alternatives available to women. Keep up the good work.

The notification came just at the right time, i really need to learn how not to use hurtful words. I really need to. So help me God, I'm trying to be as soft and respectful as possible. Life's already hard to tackle it the hard way. Thank you very much🥰🤎

Hello, Vivian. you are SO AMAZING! I love your, your wisdom words SO MUCH! I can listen and watch you speak all day. my name is Devotha Light, and I do relate so much to the words that shouldn't be said to a partner that makes their heart turn around. some words are so damaging, like a scar, and no matter how many apologies, a scar can't go away. it only leaves you physically present but emotionally dead. thanks. I hope more people can try to listen to you.

I’ve been consciously revamping the way and manner I speak and react towards men….. then your video pops. Thank you so much for this video Ma’am.

You are such a delightful lady. I enjoy your vlogs so much, and appreciate your reminders of how to be classy all the time. Gone are my days of bad mouthing acquaintances, and bringing up rude encounters during conversations. Again, thank you! 🌷🌸🌷

Thank you for your words of wisdom. You are very wise. So many marriages and relationships would’ve been saved if we treat people the way we want to be treated 😊

This is great! I had to learn the appropriate way to speak to my man and I had to learn how to listen not just hear. Again, great advice. 💯🎯

Many thanks to you, Vivienne. You're a real woman! Keep doing this.

🌷 when you said common sense & empathy everything else fell in line. If someone is that bad you probably shouldn't be with them. But otherwise, it's just humane to be watchful over our words (& humane for us as well). Besides, when something is amiss or needs to be worked out these phrases you mentioned wouldn't work anyway of course. Thank you so much.

I can well understand why men find it difficult to approach a woman at times. It is not easy at all. Although I did have an ex say to me that there are better and prettier woman out there than myself, what you said makes a lot of common sense.

Loved every part of what you said. Thank you I will certainly apply what have learnt in my relationship

I have been with my husband for 46 years and everything you brought up is so very true.I really appreciate how wise and elegant you are Vivian.Thank you❤

Some men pushes women to say these things; guess if you end up such words you have to admit you are with the wrong man.🤷🏽‍♀️

All true and I do not think that I have seen any other direct and honesr video like this... Great advice.

The most brilliant, and well researched KZfaq presentation on men done by a smart and brilliant woman. Flawless presentation, I have no other option than to subscribe despite this channel is dedicated to women. Well done. Great job.

You are a million per cent right I got rid off a woman off twenty some years and five kids one off the most disrespect full and insulting and violation off a woman I ever met in my life time keep teaching and preaching sister you are a genius

Well noted Vivian ❤️💕❤️. Thanks darling. Greetings from Uganda 🇺🇬🇺🇬🇺🇬🇺🇬🇺🇬🇺🇬🇺🇬

This is my first encounter with any of your videos and WOW, you hit the ball out of the park with this one. I have to say that I agree 100% with everything you said. Woman who has this mind set is considered a diamond in the rough/a virtuous woman. Today’s generation of women are cut from a new cloth. Be encouraged. I like what you are putting out.

As a man I consider this video as one of the best advice for the women . These are really what we the men expect from our women bust some women don't understand these and they mess up with their men . Thank you for the best advisory video. God bless

I just found you. I am making your videos my course of study for self improvement. You reminded me of how and where i used to be. But situations beyond my control had me slipping. I want to get back on track and be better than I was before. I want to achieve a higher level, emotionaly and mentality.

Well thank you for teaching me how to behave better and do better, I needed this.

Dear Vivian, thanks for the wonderful tips you always dish out (especially for me)to become more refined,elegant and sophisticated version of myself. I blessed the day KZfaq suggested your channel to me..I have learnt alot from this channel, I always look forward to your next post...Enny from Nigeria 💕💕

Ma'am, you were on point!!! Awesome video!! I hope the ladies are listening to you.

Thank you My dear Sister Of Elegance. Your videos are so encouraging its so important to show up as a woman of class and self respect. Keep our dignity most importantly our integrity. As a Woman of God I always think about who I truly represent is my Creator. Words are powerful when spoken. The Bible says out of the abundance of the Heart the mouth speaks. We can speak life or death into people lives. Thank you for those Powerful words that are full of life!!!❤🙏🙏🙏🙏😇

I'm aware how fragile a man's ego is, but I will give no man respect that does not give me the same respect. His feelings are no more precious than mine. I can walk away as long as He is not a narcissist which my last one was. He almost had me trained to think that it was okay for him to talk any sort of way to me but could never take it when I responded. Needless to say it's over. I was lucky and I recognized his behaviors as those of a raging narcissist. In a normal healthy relationship I could do the things you suggest.

Thank you for teaching women about the things that are important to men. The more we understand the things that are important to us, the happier we will be when functioning as a unit.

Thanks so much my lady for the tips , my mouth once landed me into trouble I almost lost someone I treasure the most and I will never allow it to happen again, ladies pliz never use a phrase that is even close to what your man may regard as disrespect you may regret it for the rest of your life thank you

Many thanks for your "8" necessary pointers. I've come to realise all the above were (all 8 of your shared wisdom) crucially demonsted by my Ex of 25 years, in the total dismantling of what was supposedly a well guided and invested relationship. All the while I subconsciously knew there was something amiss , yet couldn't put a finger on it. Now, you have made it all clear. I've just shared your very relevant submissions with her via e-mail. Just a reminder/eye-opener, not to victimise yet another man. She was a fine woman, but with Vernon tongue.

Respect is the most important thing. Thank you for the reminder. You are very beautiful btw ❣

You are truly a woman of elegance 💯🔥🙏 Bless you. ❤

I just Love this Channel of Woman Of Elegance. In fact, I 've Subscribed at once. Thank you for the useful and beautiful Advices you give on different Topics and Problems on any Relationhip with a man, a woman may encounter. I am really learning a lot! Thank you so much. More Power!

The right kind of man will love, appreciate an articulate and elegant woman! Etiquette is essential! Just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary.. ❤Thank-You for your channel.. The world desperately needs more etiquette.

She is sharing some of the great secrets of developing a man’s love for you.

I enjoyed watching your video , very sound advice. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

Wow! Thanks so much my sister. Your word of advice are just golden .

Well said. Thank you for your messages and for your channel. So pleased you are here!

This is really insightful.. Thank you so much🤍♥️

I concur….Great lessons,thanks for sharing 🙏🏽

Thanks madam, I've already passed through that. That actually pinched my heart completely. But from your message, I certainly say it's just God talking from u and i ask for more type of teaching cause can change minds of our lovely ladies in current life. Late this wisdom remain in forever and ever for the benefits of our new generation.

Ms Vivienne, you are awesome. Thank you for all you do. You are indeed raising elegant women with your videos. Please never stop, Ma'am.

Thank you coach Vivienne for another wonderful video. You look really stunning 🥰 much love from me to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬 stay safe.