1. Vague 2. Lazy 3. Porn 4. Gambling *hiding money 5. Money wasters (paycheck to paycheck), or if he gets angry when you talk about money 6. Dirty 7. Gamers 8. Alcohol dependency 9. Gets fired regularly, or jumps frequently from job to job 10. Men who have children with multiple women **she called it the largest red flag of all**especially if you are young and/or childless. **(which makes soooo much sense!) Thank you!

I met a man on Christmas day, and he went straight ahead to propose marriage. we don't even know each other. My point it, some men can come with marriage proposal and still intend to use and dump. Stay woke sisters👁👁, may Gods wisdom guide us all.

100% truth Vivienne. however I would also add an angry man, a bad tempered man, a moody man, a highly critical man, a cynical man and a man who treats his mother badly.

I once dated a man who said he was interested in marriage. He is a member of the chief executive suite with his company with a salary in the mid $200k. During our getting the know each other phase I learned he was a father of 4 with 3 different women but had no children with the woman he was married to during the time his kids were born. He had no understanding of personal finances and I learned he did not own a home. He often talked about his extensive workd travels, literally completd a course of study at Harvard and golfed nearly every weekend. On paper he checked all the boxes. In reality, I ran like a gazelle. All that to say, it's not always as obvious as the 10 signs listed here. Do your research, pay attention and be willing to walk away.

A man who avoids talking about serious things and wants to talk about nice things only......Runnnnn.Nothing will ever get resolved in your relationship....

I would add … Men who don’t READ! If he never picks up a book or even subscribes to online reading - he’s probably simple. As in not open to learning, growing or evolving. He can’t take you anywhere and won’t be able to grow with you!

An insecure man with no self confidence is the worst also

I’m married to a man who is lazy and financially irresponsible. The red flags were there all along. Miss Vivienne is spot on.

This speaker is so smart. Men with the qualities she talks about are not grown up, but selfish little boys looking for someone to take care of them. Walk away, and save yourself a world of hurt.

I would add: 11. Someone who wants to marry you very quickly. 12. Someone who is disrespectful, critical of you and/or others . 13. Someone who is lying . 14. Someone who is controlling. 15. Someone who does anything illegal. 16. Someone who is abusive. 17. Someone with bad temper, angry.

Men do not change overnight. You are not there to solve his problems. It is not your responsibility.

Men who are competitive and therefore cannot be happy for you or support you when you make progress or climb higher.

The wrong man in your life will kill you mentally and destroy your purpose in life.Thank you sister for sharing this vital information about men.Keep up the great work.🌷💕

Expect push back when you start setting boundaries. Never date a man who doesn't have a strong and positive role model. Pay attention to actions and ignore those sweet words. Thank you Vivian

This is so on point. You absolutely nailed it. I'm a 53 yr old woman who was so broken I actually stayed involved w a man who embodied all these characteristics and more.. w the exception of multiple children. I cut things off but allowed him to steal 14 years of my life because I was so lonely. I'm so ashamed but moving forward armed with new knowledge and eyes wide open. Thank you Vivian.

The man who verbally abuses you or controls you from exercising your opinions. Never accept one who physically places you in harm with battering or violent touch

Great list in addition. A man who is inconsistent; serious today, grows cold feet tomorrow. Hrs just wasting your time. A man who never spends on you. No matter how little he has. A man who is very comfortable with you picking up the tabs all the time. Who even shamelessly asks you for money. A man who doesn't treat you with tenderness, and courtesy. A man who shows no respect for your family. A man who hard

That's a good list. This is why I have always been single. There are no available men who have none of these problems. There is actually more to add to this list: 1. Liars. I heard on a talk show a woman whose job was to do background checks on prospective men women met online. She reported that her findings were that 80% of these men are liars, cheaters or scammers. Not very good odds in finding men there. 2. The stingy guy who is never pays for anything but wants to "hang out" with a woman. These men look for good cooks to get free meals. They treat a woman like a buddy so they won't have to spend any money. 3. The men whose values do not line up with Christian standards. These men replace women like a pair of socks. So if you don't "put out", they find no reason to date you. Many men date women and replace them if they don't meet "their needs". 4. The "silent and trivial" man. He replaces authentic conversation with trivialities. He doesn't reveal much personal information about himself and may be hiding things like an arrest record, felonies, or some other violations. He may replace authentic conversations with trivial talk like cars, excessive talk about work, or bragging endlessly without taking a breath to let you talk. 5. The endless talker who has dominated the conversation where he never pauses long enough for you to comment or ask a question. This is a form of dominance and control where all he really wants is an audience. As soon as you try to say something he interrupts and you can never finish a thought. It's like trying to have a conversation with a television set. So, that's my list of experiences I had trying to find a husband. I am 69 and I gave up looking 15 years ago and am happy to be alone when the price of companionship is too high to work with. I believe I've spared my heart years of heartache. At this point in my life I am content with my life.

When I was younger I was no naive, thinking things would change. How wrong I was. This is a video that I think a lot of young women need to watch.

I totally agree with you! And I would add: 1) an angry man; 2) a shopaholic; 3) a man with bad or non-existent relationships with his mother and female relatives. However, a nonreligious man could be fine, unlike what some of the comments here claim. I have many utterly blameless male friends who are not believers. I'd rather have an honest atheist rather some of these religious hypocrites! (Actually, Protestant ministers have a very high rate of infidelity.) You rock, Ms. Vivienne!

I would definitely add a man who is controlling over you (different than protective, very important to know the difference!) and who is violent. And any man who treats animals poorly or violently. But all the others you described too, yes.

I didn’t know that them being lazy was due to child neglect. Makes a lot of sense now.

I stayed in a situationship for 8 months with a vague man that I don't even know where he lives. Everything was awesome until the question "what are we". He always said things like "we are knowing each other better", "soon you're coming to my place" "let's see where it goes", I was naive and fell for this thinking maybe one day he would commit. At the end, I came out of this completely destroyed emotionally because I really liked this person. After 2 weeks that he had broken up with me he was with another chick, doing the same things he did to me once... I'm still trying to recover from this. Not worth girls... She's right, run from vague men!!!

In the states, marijuana is the new alcohol. And it’s worst now because most don’t see it as a hard drug. But it is, I’ve seen people destroy their own lives and never achieve any of their goals due to excessive marijuana smoking. Please avoid men who overindulge in alcohol and marijuana.

A man who is never wrong and takes no accountability. A man who is always planning but never acting A man who always yells and triangulates you between others

I will add that a man who doesn't talk much and never gets upset is a relationship is a dangerous man.

If dem nah build yuh up, dem a bruk yuh down.

Words without action is a red flag for me! Thank you so much for these points elegant lady❤️

This should’ve been a lesson I learned as a young girl growing up, I would’ve made better choices as an adult, but thank you for this lesson, better to learn now than never, on my journey to be more elegant 🙏🏾

Some comments below have added an angry man and a controlling man. As a former domestic violence advocate, I so agree!! Just know, that most are very good at hiding this part of themselves, until you become vulnerable in some way; then it may be very difficult to get out. I would add checking out their history to see if there are any assault or domestic violence incidents in their record. I enjoyed hearing about all the other points our beautiful Vivienne gives! :)

As a man. I agree. You can actually use these points on the opposite gender. Instead of video games, I’d say someone who sits and gossips , complains and says every one is against her and also watches reality tv. From show to show. But I totally agree with you on the men also. Since this is about men. I’ll say. I would tell my daughter this

This is a great list!!! I am so glad you are stating these! I agree 100%. 1) My son has a lovely wife. When they started dating, she said, if he wasn’t looking to get married, she was not interested in dating him. We love her! 2) My friend’s daughter has a full ride scholarship to college. She is so motivated, unfortunately her boyfriend she is “in love with” can’t keep a job. He either goes in later or doesn’t show up. His mother is very well off, and was told she coddles him. She is not doing him any favors: That wonderful young woman that is so motivated is walking down a sad road. I have been married 44 years to a wonderful, hard-working, and loving man! I was upfront with my husband when we became engaged that I was not a good money manager. I was irresponsible. I was very embarrassed about it. We had a long conversation about it and we are on the same page all these years about money.

You are absolutely correct about gambling which includes lottery ticket buying: I know of a man that went into debt SIX figures from buying large blocks of lottery tickets constantly every week, mulltiple times a week for different games- it was sad and an addiction; it ruined his life and put him into bankruptcy... So sad and he was so talented, too.

I’m so angry with myself that I got engaged emotionally with such a vague man. it’s turned out that he wants to date me but still misses his ex and that’s why she was treating me so vaguely at the beginning and I didn’t see the signs. Thank God that I was strong enough to end this relationship

Right. Right Right on every single issue. Been there. Done that. The men arrived with massive personal debt. No assets. Alcohol and drug issues. Stealing from employers. Lazy. Unkempt. Filthy dirty. Do NOT my dear elegant ladies be taken in by these creatures. They WILL predate on you and your good nature. Thank you for another wonderful and insightful video.

PLS PRAY FOR ME GUYS. IM PRAYING AND HOPING FOR A HIGH VALUE MAN THIS YEAR NOT ONLY FOR A RELATIONSHIP BUT MARRIAGE 😢😢😢😢. IN JESUS NAME AMENNN 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Lazy and Video games. Investing hours upon hours on video games and TV, too lazy and always procrastinating is the death of an otherwise productive and successful life. The most heartbreaking part is that many of these individuals have many skills and abilities, intelligent and with great potential if not for these and other vices. Lastly, only THEY can choose to make changes and turn course but you can not do this for them.

Can we just have a checklist that they must fill out before we even meet them? This way we don’t get attached. The video was incredible. I love your messages. They are valuable and easy to understand. Straightforward. Clear. Needed. I’m 60 years old. Wish you where around when I was 16. But better late than never. Thank you and God bless you!

Great advice. Would also say to watch out for the men who you pick up on that are SELFISH minded. Ones that only do what pleasures themselves without caring but little in reality for you. Actions speak louder than words. A selfish being cannot truly love.

Thanks for your understanding on the subject! I had to deal with 1,4,5 and violence. Of course, I lost almost 2 decades of my life. Divorced as a consequence. Lesson learned!

I know this is serious but honestly I laughed a lot. Great points, you explain in an elegant manner much appreciated. As a 23 year old who's never been in an intimate relationship I do appreciate these points for future benefits, Thanks Vivien.

Informative, educational, extremely useful video Vivienne. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us. I may add one point on sexual fantasies/pornography. Some sexual fantasies have led to deaths of women in different countries. This keeps happening all the time sadly. So plz avoid men who indulge in this POTENTIALLY LIFE THREATENING practices. Seemi from US

You just described my ex to a T, except he was filthy with his appearance not just his house, and he didn't understand why I wouldn't let him touch me. When I would take a shower, or bath, he'd yell " But you took one yesterday!" The only thing he didn't do was drink and play video games, and he stayed with the same company for thirty years, and he only had had children with his ex wife, but the rest described him. We could need something, and he'd say that we didn't have the money, but a poker game would come along, and he suddenly had money. His house still needs repairs, and mice to be gotten rid of from it, but he uses that money to gamble. Listen to Vivian ladies, and run from this type of men.

That is very true! Thank you. You left out MEN WHO ARE ABUSIVE, whether verbally, physically, or emotionally. And personally, I would also avoid a staunch atheist (those who are not willing to even try to get to know Jesus Christ. "Boy, bye!"). I am a Christian and Jesus Christ is comes first in my life, ABOVE ALL THINGS.

Preach 🗣️ I avoid ALL of these you listed like a plague‼️ It makes a slim picking of men to choose from BUT it beats dealing with all the dysfunction that comes with what was listed. Great video 🫶🏽✨

I love how you elegantly say all these things to avoid men with these traits. My ex had some of these awful traits.

Omg how true everything you said, You ought to go to schools and speak to young girls...my goodness no young girls of 12,13,14 15 being pregnant, I absolutely enjoyed listening to you and was disappointed the 10 had finished. Thank you for every word spoken. So true. Best wishes to you.🙏😂and I will watch for you again.❤

Wonderfully clarified and straight to the point! Thank you so much dear Vivienne! So, beautiful Ladies out there, be discreet and use discernment in selecting the right person as your marriage spouse. Our beautiful and lovely Vivienne has already done the task for you. All you need to do is: check out those traits and be warned. Don't be fooled by love bombing.

Thank you so much Vivianne, as a lady of 22yrs of age, I look forward to having a responsible Man as a life partner, thank you for the tips, it's gonna be a life saver

This video needs to go viral. Thank you for speaking the truth.

The boxer shorts have brown stains. I'm sorry that was hilarious!!!! This video was everything!

These suggestions and or warnings are absolute golden when heard out loud. Thank you 🙏

This was soooooo well said and literally discussed these issues with my niece.

My Sista. You are slamming it. A no nonsense delivery.

You're doing sacred work, Madame Elegance. Ladies, I'm married to the man of my dreams, and she is painfully 100% correct in every way. Stay abundant out there 🙏🏽

Happy New Year Miss Vivienne and thank you so much for this excellent video. Thank you for broaching the difficult traits you discussed here. My first husband told me he indulged in marijuana occasionally, but that was a huge lie. I also found out he had a very serious porn addiction. It destroyed my trust in him and our relationship. Dear ladies in the comments section if you see these traits, love yourself enough to walk away early. I've learned you cannot fix another human being. Take care all and cheers from Canada!

Thank you Vivienne... Whewww... I clicked on this so fast when I got notified.. Now, this video right here is the game changer. Thank you❤

Oh, mine! You are spot on in this video. I have saved it for my daughter to watch. God bless you.

Thank you for a wonderful video. Another point I would add is addiction to marijuana or other types of recreational drugs. These are causing so much harm to families today because the males will make excuses for this behavior. A man with a sober mind is a must!

This is a master piece video. You nailed every point. I am gonna watch it more and more and share it with my friends.

Even if the children are adults (3 kids never married) total red flag.

This was incredibly beneficial! I wish I would've found you a longtime ago!❤ Thank you, God bless.❤

Like her ending statement, kick him out of your bed, out of your home and out of your life -Right on- good advice.

I think this video should go viral. All Vivienne said is 💯 correct.

You ar SO inspiring! Thank you, Vivienne! Amazing list and certainly warranted. Maybe you could present a video regarding how to present ones' self on one's new video channel on KZfaq- if ladies, like myself, will be starting a KZfaq channel and are flustered, overwhelmed, lacking confidence in front of the camera regarding how to act, how to speak on the videos, and how to present one's topics- that would be phenomenal! Thank you, Kimberly

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 love your advices. All are so in point. Women get blind when they “fall” in love. It is a serious thing, and it happen a lot

Very detailed and straight to the point I have always known these but this video came as a perfect fitting to every event that leads to a red flag 🚩 personally I can’t tolerate laziness dirtiness financial irresponsible and even a man that lacks the fear of God I just can’t do it love can never cloud my judgment coz it’s a lifetime and knowing these are livesavers

Good advice. Thanks. AWARENESS and Self-Awareness is a hell of a friend. This is a friend to keep!

Most men find it difficult to psychologically detach from the privileges they got from their mother as babies, especially the feel good sex chemical oxytocin released during breastfeeding to get the child to like feeding, they turn women and everything into their mother, expecting physical satisfaction of food, sex, security and social entitlement that they got from their mother, from everyone and everything.

I really love this channel. I love the accent and the content. I’ll listen to your vids daily to make progress in life ❤❤❤

Excellent advice Vivian! Women have tolerated too much bad behaviors.

Men who get mad easily. Men who hold grudges against family & exes. Men who act differently out in public or around friends. Men who are atheist or “spiritual but not religious” tend to have issues with commitment and taking a strong stance on matters. Men who are loners. Men who are crass and swear constantly.

I eat Whole Foods and also take 5B CFU daily, my skin cleared and I also have more energy and healed my period cramps gut health is very important for women ❤thank you for sharing

👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿❤️❤️❤️❤️amazing you have covered everything! Wow! Thank you for your teaching!!

Excellent points and so very true 💯 she is not lying ladies, I’ve had to cut and get rid of guys like this recently from another source and gut instincts.

You are a true blessing VIVIENNE. Thank you !!!

Thank you for this video Vivienne! It was very informative ✨

no ambition, no intention, no support no nutten.

Hello Vivian and Happy New Year 🎉🎉.!! I absolutely love this video, it makes me feel like I'm listening to the Big Sister I never had or better still the twin sister because we share the same views and options on so many issues. I do hope other women will take this advice to heart and apply the wisdom from it. All I have to say is Bravo

I really enjoyed this video. Vivien has spoken with much wisdom and experience. These ten points are correct. Ladies, choose your men wisely to avoid regrets. Thank you dear Vivien.

I think most women are very aware of these red flags in men. Most of the time they allow love to blind them and as most emotions, love is fleeting, and they start seeing clearly. At that time a heap of damage is done wich is sad. Thank you for your crucial content, Vivienne. It is much appreciated. I love your blouse btw. It's really pretty.

Thank you for this excellent advice.

Thank You so much! I really needed this video as a reminder to beware of certain types of 'men'. Cheers from Ukraine!

Thank you for your support and beautiful smile! I need this!

Thank you for sharing this video.

So much wisdom! Thank you so much 🙏

I really enjoy your channel and your wise words. Thank you so much. I ordered your book!

Thank u so much! I truly appreciate the gift of you for taking the time to really educate your fellow woman. Big hugs to you Queen 👸🏽

🔥🙏🏾🙌🏾Good video. Keep it up. Not a lot of women talk sense when offering advice to females. You just did. You may consider making a video on why many women select men they should RUN from.

Thanks for all your tips really help full

This is great and an eye opener for every single lady out there.

Thanks ♥, a great help for women to wake up and be selective to avoid horrendous problems too late to regret. Kowing these, I would stay single forever ❤

It's true. There is nothing wrong with renting an apartment BUT if the man is splashing his money on expensive goods and a flashy lifestyle and also renting then it means his priorities are all wrong. That is money that could go towards investing in property.

Thank you my beautiful elegant Vivian I have really learnt much from you.watching from uganda

I pray nobody house is like you described. Good tips! Blessings. 🙏

Some of the best advice I’ve heard. Thank you.

Gambling porn and any other substance are all in the same category. If you have a habit controlling you it is not great

Great advice!

Very wise words. I watched one of your new videos a couple of weeks ago and now have subscribed.

Another good, sound video that will surely help all who need it. This video is different from others that you've done but oh how necessary it is! Thank you very much. And again, you look beautiful!❤❤❤❤❤