What was burning the rivers supposed to achieve anyway?

@@felipecosta-kv2fx Gotta flush the beavers somehow...

@@JM-mh1pp what's wrong with them beavers?

@@felipecosta-kv2fx they know...they know...

@@felipecosta-kv2fx Getting rid of fecal matter, oil and microbes, just like Chicago did to its river, accidentally.

Ganondorf.

General Hux?

I mean they have no soul is it hard to believe.

He earns a freckle for every soul he steals

All gingers are intrinsically evil. It is known!

Germany in a nut shell…

You like Chinese dramas, eh?

Then they'll feel like he didn't speak out enough about racism, and they'll tear down all his statues. (Steve, I mean)

But what about the genocide that he may have done

@@jameschambers9969 Oh please: "of course what happened was sad, tragic even, but we cannot judge the emperor on the basis of our current day morality, those were different times, and standards were not the same as today"

Funny thing is that the literal sentence before that reads that when possible, a ruler should be both feared and loved.

@Tskmaster my name isn't Steve...

@Just a Frog Nicky?

@@webbowser8834 it also includes never be hated

"Politics have no relation to morals." - Steve Machiavelli

this just killed me.

you're still trying to get Google reviews to recognise the 6 out of 5 you want to give him, aren't you?

Did he send you to the Ministry of Love? Was his name Big Brother, perchance?

That sounds like some kind of reylo fanfic...

within the limits of our circumstances lmao

You mean Jonny Snakeshoulders?

@@mcmadow yes jonnysnakeshoulders.

hey I played that game too. but his name was Jackie not Zahak. and he fed them hearts not brains

Well, did they?

@@Lichelf no. And in fact one hated him so much that even after the king agreed to not sacrifice his last son to his snake shoulders when he tried to get the peasant to sign s paper saying he was a good king the peasant ripped it up in front of him and walked out while everyone was to stunned to stop him

@@grannym2880 What kind of monster would do such a thing?

@@deusdex1186 The obvious conclusion would be: The current emperor.

Well, he can just BUY Twitter

If Elon Musk was a good emperor, he'd just shut it down.

@@whom382 He could first reform it, so it may serve the course, for a while, and delite it later, for God's sake, in which ever God you believe. We don't effin care.

It's cool, he'll just buy it in a move that clearly won't upset anyone or be a clear blatant response to federal judges holding the emperor responsible for their tweets.

He might just be reading about the musk buyout.

A close second to our current KZfaq comedy Emperor, Lord Joel Haver

The dejected "ohhhh" exceeded Steven He levels of emotions damage. Well done ABK!

Honestly that part had me cracking up 😂😂😂

LOL. Never knew service stations could have such drama.

@@anonygent Oh, it wasn't really drama, he was just a jackass New Zealander who pretended to have a sense of empathy in order to project his insecurities onto people

@@anonygent Oh, ANYWHERE people are there is always drama.

I was expecting anything but people in that context!

Was there .. much nephew squashing at the service station ?

*Damn I feel like I’ve seen that one before*

"Somehow, Palpatine returned"

@@BurgerSoup "are you ever going to explain how that happened?" "no" "is anything our heroes do consequential to the story?" "not really" "why does any of it happen?" "Because lightsabres and explosions and hey look over there!"

Atleast it's better than having the main character who was shown to be the most kind and forgiving person suddenly becoming the biggest f*cking doechebag because of something they did that was completely out of character.

I just started watching Star Wars. What is this referencing?

I won't drop you in the pit, but the ropes I tied you up with will really start to chafe after awhile!

Sounds like jahy

I was falling.. FOR 30 MINUTES

Oh and now that i mention it,make sure to prepare the almost deadly traps that look intimidating but are also really slow and unpractical

"Place my strongest lieutenants along the path. But make sure the weakest ones are first, so that the hero can become increasingly more skilled with each battle." "Sir, we can just have all your lieutenants in the same-" "Do not question me! Each one must be slightly more difficult than the last or those who oppose me will have no chance!"

I knew, and I've never successfully adapted to the corporate world.

Me true. The secret of surviving corporate is to Always act dumb even when you are smart.

I don’t remember corporate ever talking about spontaneous parades…

@@emblemblade9245 No, but stuff like "the CEO is visiting us here at the Dallas office next month; I heard that when he visited the Charlotte office last year the staff there made him a cake and named a puppy after him and he loved it, so..." is real.

That's more Joel Haver's wheelhouse, I think

A super self-conscious Emperor would be fun to see

Good emperors are not a thing tho :|

@@user-sm1bi5ix6l Le bruh moment

@@templarlad392 Sorry, you do not become emperor (or even inherit the throne) and stay a good guy... Empire requires a lot of sacrifices to maintain.

I wonder if you are just quoting Tarquin from the Order of the Stick or you just coincidentally reached the same conclusion.

Let's face it, it's a better deal than working your backside off, then ending up in a care home.

And given the abundance of sequels its not like the land will stay evil-ruler-free for long anyway

Emperor is evil! -How? - He killed a dozen of his nephews! - Those rich bastards who would never gave me a time of day? Oh I just weep for them. - He created massive army. - Security yes, we are very secury, noticed how many barbarian raids there were on us ? Grand total of 0. Also my brother serves in the army, great pay, and chances of promotion. - he rules with iron fist! - administration works very efficiently agreed.

Just spend your limitless resources to sneak away and reitre right before it gets bad. Or negotiate with the heroes and offer them everything if they let you escape. It's a deal they can't refuse and it gets you out of trouble.

With a scoop of Dalek for good measure

@@oldvlognewtricks and a nice jab at musk as a digestive.

I guess we know what to expect from Evil Emperor Zurg in upcoming Lightyear movie...

"Palpatine, but insecure"

It's excellent. The only thing is that (having only seen the movies, at least) I've never really gotten the impression that Palpatine cares at all about what the average citizens think of him.

Владимир Путин молодец Политик, лидер и боец...

Ten thousand men slaughtered in a single battle - Ok, hire a good song writer, remember something bombastic and catchy! - But sire, we have killed all those people, burned cities - Trust me it will be awesome, also make another one, something simple that soldiers can sing, you know basic but fun. -No one will sing it. -Trust me, they will, also remember we need a good painter, our forces must be shown in the light and enemies in darkness, you know classic "we are children of light" kind of stuff.. I can see it, hundreds of years from now people will be reading adventure books about it.

maybe the next guy will make you look good in comparison

*Softly strums, "The Man They Call Jayne"

Just ask Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Shame he forgot to account for his 12 nieces who will inevitably unite into a cabal and overthrow him before infighting leads to their own downfall.

@@jazzy4830 loool ah yes the nieces- he forgot about them! they will be united- until they aren't. But until then- may Lord Red Palpatine beware. He may never see the Niece Brigade coming.

Too bad one of his minions tasked with killing one of the nephew's found out that the nephew had a newborn child which the minion proceeded to take in as his own child.

It would be easy.. they all look like Steve...

Easy to kill 12 nephews if you just clone them

OF course it does, that is why Musk is buying it. Oh wait, he isn't evil, just so clueless upon occasion that its hard to tell the difference.

@@ethelredhardrede1838 Disagree, Elon Musk absolutely is evil.

@@yersiniapestis5237 I absolutely disagree. Now we are even. You cannot support your claim.

... You make a very valid point.

Bonus point if the skulls came from failed revolutionaries

You made it a bit too real Steve

The emperor loves his hair...

Steve is absolutely harmless and his inability to understand subtlety might be useful to stay informed of intrigue within the emperor's inner circle

He is probably NOT a nephew of the current Emperor (may he be praised over all other things)

He's just the latest in a long line of advisers, the last of whom was beheaded yesterday. Nothing personal, just tying up loose ends. Can't have the people's loyalty divided, you know.

There have been many Steves. Or one Steve with many faces. But, one thing is known: Steve is the Emperor's most loyal acolyte. Wherever the Emperor goes, there, following behind, ready to serve His Imperial Majesty's edicts, er, commands, er, needs, that's it, goes Steve.

One of the best things that’s come out of the internet, tbh.

@@gekkenhuisje - I agree! I grew up before the internet, and I was an early internet user (I was a programmer). I thought the internet would be an unmitigated “good”, but I was wrong. However, things like this tip the internet towards “good”. Fortunately, the internet is still evolving, so we’ll see whether it fulfills its promise of uniting the world and letting people understand each other better. Who knows?

That's all well and good, but I was hoping to have my back a little less stabbed and the rivers a little less burned when I voted the Emperor and his Squash All Nephews Party into supreme power. And I never thought he was gonna squash MY nephews as well!

Dictators with good economic policy are super rare though

And he built the aqueduct.....and the roads.

@@amoral_minority The only reason for that is the proliferation of Communist dictators in the last century.

@@timtheenchanter6418 After the river thing, he didn't really have a choice.

Thanks! Very cool that I died in this scenario.

@@ABeckettKing You seem dead in every scenario 😁😁 As blowing up can't be good for anyone's health

So sad that he was blown up in an assasination orchestrated by the rebels

Blowing up sounds like dying too

Vladimir Putin's a poseur.....

4Maybe he4's into it

Well I thought that was just Hamlet

Nah its Vlad Harkonnen

What?

I don't know what is worse; the pun, or your channel name and profile pic. Take my like.

But here we have the true Emperor, Darth Jar.

I would believe that this is a transcript of a conversation between Tr*mp and one his children or other lackeys

Didn't the Saudi crown prince squash over a dozen nephews and uncles?

Yes

NO, NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME! why should i waste my time at school? i am super famous on youtube. tell me, dear gar

He was good but I thought the Emperor was better

The hair.

Literally what the Japanese about Tokugawa :)

Sure, he is responsible for half of the countries population dying, almost destroyed the already fragile economy twice, and tortured children. But he was the first, and you should respect him.

this is right before he buys it

@@Draztikus Are you, maybe, referring to someone?

honestly if twitter hates you your doing your job right lol

@@sword4005 So true. Twitter just hates Hitler and Putin and Xi - so that must mean they are all amazing geniousses and tremendous people, no doubt.

To take this seriously for a moment, thats kinda what the chinese government is doing. "Allow" people sometimes to speak openly just so you can make a list who to "deal with later" or simply black mail them to be used as spies later. And that way they can delete certain comments while leaving others, e.g when Russia invaded Ukraine Chinese censorship deleted all negative online comments leaving only positive pro invasion ones left, making it seem as if the public universally agrees with what ever the state is doing or saying. The Soviets controlled through this means all of society, by for one making most people believe its only them who is unhappy with the state of things and on the other hand make them afraid of speaking out or risk it being recored/listened by the wrong people or that one of your frinds who is unhappy has been forced to spy on you after getting caught themselves. Its suprising how easy it is actually to controll a society that way

I would say fourth. That's when it all comes tumbling down. (Saul, David, Solomon, Rehoboam.)

@@anonygent And Commodus. I know. I just wanted to quote Brandon.

Also: Perfect timing!

I'd like some spontaneous congratulatory tweets on this fully operational platform that I now own. Cue evil cackle.

Broke: This is a parody of Emperor Palpatine Woke: This is a parody of Gul Dukat

Both, why not both! 😃

*Emperor mentions Twitter* "It'S eLoN!"

@@megatronVS description

My fastest click too esp on ABK

He literally had zero fucks to give. He outlived all of his enemies from Children of Dune and God Emperor of Dune was about 3,000 years after.

yes, that's around that time that F. Herbert got into drugs)

Ask Ohio. The Cuyahoga river caught fire 13 times prompting, in part, Nixon to create the Environmental Protection Agency.

@@DrD0000M Just looked it up. That's insane.

How, you ask? "The Dark Side of the Force is a pathwax to many abilities some consider to be unnatural." -Darth Sidious

(The peiple love you)