After the Affair: What About Your Vows?

  Рет қаралды 3,194

Lisa Arends

Lisa Arends

2 жыл бұрын

You promised to love, honor and be faithful. And you took those vows seriously. But what do they mean after you've been betrayed?

Пікірлер: 19
@c.j.9248
@c.j.9248 2 жыл бұрын
Yes so heart destroying. You may be committed to the vows you made to your spouse and God only to find out your wife no longer loves you, has cheated on you, has no remorse, and has no desire for reconciliation. Just the most devastating trauma I have ever experienced in my lifetime. Her betrayal was intentional and her actions and choice to disconnect and not love me are the royal FU to me, FU to our family and friends we made our vows in front of and most of all a big FU to God.
@phabeondominguez5971
@phabeondominguez5971 Жыл бұрын
It's almost been a year, any updates? I don't know anything bout divorce man, except that after 20yrs the dream is over.. after what she did, I dont even wanna speak to her, bit with 3 lil miracles in the picture I have to...
@c.j.9248
@c.j.9248 Жыл бұрын
@@phabeondominguez5971 the divorce was finalized on Jan. 25 - almost a year now. My ex-wife moved 850 miles away in June and we rarely speak or text unless it is something she needs from me or about our 3 adult kids. I'm healing and have been in a men's group this part year. You can't isolate yourself is a big thing. Must surround yourself with Godly men to keep you lifted up. It's not easy. I come home after work some nights to my little studio apartment and just get ticked off knowing this is not how things should have been. But it's where God has me right now and I'm trying to make the best of it.
@msdee2905
@msdee2905 2 жыл бұрын
It’s painful to be betrayed
@willparker3235
@willparker3235 2 жыл бұрын
Oh my! This is such a good message! It is still very fresh and raw for me at this time. Your words ring true for me as I have felt many of the things you describe. Thank you for this! You are such a valuable, caring person to help others in their pain. This should be considered one of the good things that came from your experience. May God bless you always!
@debbieclifton9314
@debbieclifton9314 2 жыл бұрын
Just so you know, your story is still very relevant. My heart literally hurts. So thank you for your word, your time, your pain and your inner light! Keep shining!
@msdee2905
@msdee2905 2 жыл бұрын
I took my vows seriously
@msdee2905
@msdee2905 2 жыл бұрын
I love the vows you made to yourself. Those are the same vows that I have for myself to be healed and move forward.
@theresaehrichs9149
@theresaehrichs9149 2 жыл бұрын
I have been listening to u for almost 2 of the most painful yrs of my life.ur videos come up on my feed , just when I need to hear them❤️u r fabulous thank u😘
@firephoenix6789
@firephoenix6789 7 ай бұрын
Thank you for your encouragement
@lorrainem1870
@lorrainem1870 2 жыл бұрын
Lisa! This video was meant for me! My husband cheated on me for 6 years and lied to me about it for 10 years, (absolutely no romance just sex, friend with benefits), he is so full of remorse, regret, ashamed, and so on, it’s been over a year of me finding out, but I’m still crying about it, I have very bad down days, my dr put me on an antidepressant, and I go to counseling and so does my husband, I know I have to heal on my own but it’s such a struggle, my husband has changed to a completely different husband because of this, so transparent, loyal, honest with everything he does now, so why am I having such a difficult time? My hurt is so unbearable, I have some very good days, and than bam! it’s like everything is back to like the day I found out of his betrayal, I have not been able to forgive him yet, and my counselor says, when you forgive him, that’s when your heart will get rid of the hurt, do you agree with him? Looking forward to your response, your videos mean so much to me, your like a friend who’s talking directly to me, bless you❤️
@phabeondominguez5971
@phabeondominguez5971 Жыл бұрын
It's almost been a year, any updates? I don't know anything bout divorce man, except that after 20yrs the dream is over.. after what she did, I dont even wanna speak to her, bit with 3 lil miracles in the picture I have to...
@user-xr1li9su1j
@user-xr1li9su1j 5 ай бұрын
It’s pure hell to be stuck. I know.
@polkadolt
@polkadolt Жыл бұрын
You are helping me SO much through my betrayal (discovered last week - ouch!) thank you for taking the time and effort to make these videos and for the courage to be vulnerable and share your story. You’re lovely x
@lisaarends8742
@lisaarends8742 Жыл бұрын
I am so sorry you have made this horrific discovery. Keep taking one day at a time.
@polkadolt
@polkadolt Жыл бұрын
@@lisaarends8742 thank you Lisa. I shouldn’t have looked but I just saw my ex was ‘Online’ on WhatsApp at gone midnight & I as I had discovered that’s when he was, and evidently still is speaking with other people he is involved with it’s triggered a huge response of that overwhelming sickening wave of intense chaotic mixed feelings that floors you. I’m in bed so feeling so vulnerable and unsafe where I should feel safe & know he’ll be in bed too I want to call him and rage and cry and interrupt his ‘fun’. It’s intolerable to be able to still be aware of his actions in real time so in a. bitter, masochistic yet sensible (long term) act, I’ve just deleted our entire WhatsApp history with all the photos, videos, everything & blocked him. So grotesquely painful how easy it is to erase so much, the betrayal did that in an instant too.
@phabeondominguez5971
@phabeondominguez5971 Жыл бұрын
@@polkadolt It's been 2 months, how ya doing now, any updates? I don't know anything bout divorce man, except that after 20yrs the dream is over.. after what she did, I dont even wanna speak to her, bit with 3 lil miracles in the picture I have to...
@louborlagdan140
@louborlagdan140 11 ай бұрын
Broken vows💔
@darlenegowan8774
@darlenegowan8774 2 жыл бұрын
You say if he is truly remorseful and taking his recovery seriously AND being “honest” then that means he DID mean the vows he took? But if he’s literally been cheating for the whole 15.5 years we’ve been married, and has lied and manipulated that whole time…why in the world would I think, even for a single moment, that he’s being honest now?! That part made zero sense to me. 🤔
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