Thanks for this video and hello from bonnie Scotland x

You said "They destroyed everything and then they just get to walk away". My EX-wife cheated and did NOT help me. It's like a hit and run driver. They don't intentionally hit you but they ARE responsible. THEN, they just leave you there, sometimes almost helpless, to then just let YOU deal with it.

Omg. Thanks Lisa for echoing my thoughts! 😢 After watching hundreds of videos, consulting many psychologists and what not, finally I found someone talking absolute reality and practical ways. I typically don't comment on videos but couldn't stop myself this time to express my thoughts. 12:08 is something I realised yesterday after a long time of enduring pain. Need to heal now badly, gonna follow your tangible steps. Hope it would work for me.

I wish I found your channel much earlier. Your words and advice are profound.

My ex just has sex with the first dude she finds. Classy. By the way this video is pure bullshit

You nailed it on the head I'm going through that very thing right now and he won't even talk to me

4 years later and I still stalk her socials how do I stop😭😭

Thank you so much

Truly, the best realization that’s helping me in divorce is JESUS. He really does love us so much that it hurts less that our spouses didn’t love us enough. I read in Isaiah 54 that Jesus is my maker and my husband. So I’m clinging to him. He is carrying me through this horrible time. He applies His grace to help me forgive.

Google their names their friends names family names and you will see google numbers it's how cheaters communicate

Thank you 😢

I came across your channel and watched all your videos at once. Thank you! For sharing your experiences and feelings on your horrible ex-relationship. I’m going through a tough time emotionally for some time now (due to similar situations, ofcourse not exactly the same) and watching your videos? I can relate 💯💯💯 and in some way this gives me strenght? Clarity? Courage? I can’t really explain it but thank you so much! I needed this messages. ❤

Thank you for your empathy and compassion. Its spoke to me. Bless you ❤️ you made me realize its going to get better and ill find someone to start a family with. Love prevails. ❤️

WAnting to know the details was more about wanting to know the reality that i had actually lived. I needed to know how much of my life was deceitful

I don't buy that they hate lying, have remorse and take responsibility for their actions. That's such bs!

Beautifully put. What a graceful lady!

I saw a comment on Facebook that someone made: cheating should be outlawed. I agree.

I hope you know how important your video is. By sharing your story and advice you gave a voice to the craziness in my head, body and soul. I long to get through one day when my stomach doesn’t turn as the thoughts start running through my mind.

I was married 30 years, he cheated at the 20 year mark, I tried and “forgiven” him. But I never did, and he cheated another 10 years. I found out the second time the night before my mother’s funeral. I’ve been struggling with closure to the point of madness. In the night, alone I began searching for help, and I found your channel. Your guidance will change the future for me. Thank you so much

It is better to wade through the swamp of grief alone than to avoid the pain of grief. Those who choose to ignore grief always have it appear one day as karma and karma is grief's nastier ugly cousin. Kudos to you..

If you don’t have that emotional intimacy in your marriage and have either someone else’s, it’s not robbing your marriage of anything.

This kind of thing is not shareable with a partner.

When they deny is double worse in terms of what their character means. But sometimes it can mean just a realism because there is no point to confess it.

Thank you for the advice.❤ I feel like I've been left bleeding in the gutter while my wife walks away still holding the smoking gun. This has had a profound effect on me, how I feel about myself, how I view my worth, how I view 17 years of commitment I gave to our marriage. I'm right at the beginning of healing, I still feel as if it were yesterday that I found out even though it's been a month. That month has been so awful... I feel so awful. I hope I can look back on this video some day and realise I've made progress because right now, I can't see through the fog. I can't see how I'll get through a single day while carrying this pain, let alone anything constructive. I am also sorry you went through this Lisa and anyone else reading this, it's the worst emotional pain I have ever felt and I'm sure you'll all agree. 😢

Thank you 💔😭

Females get lonely? There's so many thirsty men online

If they make porn, you can actually rent it

I was married for 43 years good marraige. Then widowed. Then had a narc in my life for 2 years was engaged to him he cheated on me with his ex wife. He is not with his exwife. She has someone new in her life. We are not together now for 9 months. Shoooooo how hard it been. To work through all those emotions. And he goes on his merry way with his head held up high.

I am 52m, never married and no children. This is not meant to sound conceited, but the most important person you need to love is yourself. Be interesting to yourself and always know your self worth. Embrace being happy as a single person; it is there inside you -- you just have to go find it. There is no reason why you cannot be just as happy (or even happier) alone than with another person! I think more and more people are finding this out as there has been a sharp rise in single, never married and childless adults in our time.

Lisa , you dont know how much youre helping me right now. Thank you for all these videos.

"...cheating forces that outcome." And then there is the woman, who( because she doesn't want to hurt him by telling) tells him in the most devastating way.

I am at a loss for words as to why any normal man would even think of cheating on you!

If you elect to get married, who you choose to marry will unquestionably be the most significant decision you will ever make in your life. Generally speaking, marriage is not compulsory, but so many people think they "need" to get married for one reason or another. They say to themselves "I am in love and want to spend the rest of my life with this person" without fully understanding themselves or the person they married. Often times, people's perceptions and expectations of marriage are not reality and they are unable or unwilling to make the sacrifices or honor the commitments they made during the wedding ceremony in order to "keep the peace" and "make things work". If you think about marriage even from a common sense POV, it has an escape hatch called "divorce". To use an analogy, would you buy a house that has a risk of collapsing? Or a car that has a risk of exploding? Simply put, marriage is a gamble and those who play take on that inherent risk. Is it better to have "loved" than to have never loved at all? That is for *you* to decide. 52m, never married and no children.

Thank you!

So sorry to hear about the painful lies a deception that you had to suffer at the hands of this very sad and selfish person. You my lovely are farrrrrrr better off without this pathetic little ego maniac.I once watched a program on relationships and the female phycologist said you show me the most beautiful woman and I show you the man who will cheat. You are that beautiful beautiful woman 💕You are a million miles in front and some very lucky man is about to meet you and love you for the beautiful person you are O how I wish it could have been me 😡💝👏✌️🙏

Thanks for this. I really needed to hear this message. I'm struggling with the friendship/relationship I currently have with my flatmate/landlord. The comunication from his side especially has been pretty weak lately even though months ago he had nice words for me and I really did think we were heading from a good friendship. But his actions have been telling a total different story. I was thinking to approach him via a voice message now that he is away for work reasons for a few months and tell him how I'm feeling.. but I realised that would actually be me begging for him attention/affection etc.. so also thanks to your video I've changed my mind and I'm actually doing no contact unless he does first and not discussing my feelings at all in the future. If he wants to be friends with me I might be there if not we are just flatmates.

I dated someone for two years in what could be described as a situationship. We never labeled it, which suited me at the time as I was recovering from a pandemic breakup and was focused on law school. But underneath it all, I have always wanted a fulfilling relationship which I occasionally expressed to him. After graduating and becoming a lawyer, I began to express my desire for a more committed relationship. However, he had grown comfortable with the no-strings-attached dynamic and was reluctant to change. He also enjoyed the freedom to explore other options. I struggled with the time and memories we shared, often questioning if he was the one. Despite his flaws, I wanted our relationship to work. He asked for three months to decide if he wanted to get serious and consider marriage, but during that time, he started talking to another woman. This caused misunderstandings between us, and I eventually ended the dynamic between us. Although I occasionally faltered and we stayed in touch, I realized he would never fully let me go and would continue to give mixed signals. So, I stopped seeing him. We spoke rarely about very surface level things post that. It's been a year since we last met. I've made significant progress in my career, but my relationship status remains single, as my priority has been my professional growth. We rarely speak now, mostly about work or life, and he still flirts occasionally. During the time we were together, he was often narcissistic and toxic, never meeting my need for something serious while keeping his options open. Recently, he flirted with me again, and two days ago, he suddenly announced that he is getting married next year. To my shock, it’s to the same woman who caused our misunderstandings and breakup. This news devastated me, causing physical reactions like not being able to sleep, nausea and anxiety. I couldn't understand why I was feeling this way. It was painful to see him commit to someone else so quickly in less than a year when he was never sure about marrying me during our two years together and has had a lifetime of commitment issues with other women and relationships. He often told me he wondered if he was even capable of love. I looked her up and saw she looks like a tomboy and nothing like his usual type but seemed to have a fuller life with a big group of friends and a good job. They’ve taken international trips together and attended weddings, something he always wanted. When we met, I was just a student and an intern. Now, as a lawyer, I see how different things are. He couldn't appreciate me back then. In our closure conversation, he said our dynamic and love taught him a lot and that I was the greenest flag he has ever dated and the love he has for me will remain unchanged and I was there for him when no one else was, but also talked about how he’s glad that he’s ready to be serious with someone new now. It felt like he was settling because of his age, not genuine love. But it doesn't matter because he chose someone else. I'm shattered and want to move past this. I pray for indifference, to do the inner work, and to believe someone better is out there for me. I wish this type of hurt for no one. We all deserve better!

After finding out that your spouse has cheated on you -, the best options are to: 1.divorce, 2.forgive, & 3. heal & move on with your life. Leaving with a spouse that has cheated on you is never going to be healthy for the cheater & you the person that has been cheated on in the relationship.

I wish I never found out. It destroyed my life

❤❤thank you

Thanks for explaining it because my wife left me and went M.i.a

it's been nearly a year since my ex-wife left me and I discovered she had been cheating on me for quite a while. She broke up our home and our future and scarred our 4 young children and continues to fill their head with baseless and immoral ideas. She caused me to lose my job, she forced me to sell me and my children's home, and she is forcing me to pay an absurd amount of child support. I still feel like I have no control over my life and that I am incapable of starting a new productive life. I know that I have to for the sake of my children but I don't know how to get there. I used to be a very positive, intelligent, optimistic, proactive, loving, even tempered, and high achieving person that had it all together. Now I feel like an angry and aimless child that can't even comprehend how I used to do the things I used to and understand the things I used to. I have nearly zero emotional control, I have no goals or vision for the future, no confidence, and I can't even focus long enough to hold down the lowest stress engineering job I've ever had. It feels like an enormous weight just to take my kids to the park and play with them, I have to force myself to listen to what they're saying and have conversations with them. I used to be one of the best dads I have ever known and it felt nearly effortless. I hate myself for being such a crappy person now and having no ability to be what my job and my children need me to be. I get tired of having hope and then failing, tired of being angry and sad every second of every day, of feeling like my capacity as a human in every category has been reduced to 10% of what it used to be, and I'm tired of hearing people tell me "everything is going to be okay" or "you'll make it through this".

I’m in that shock now. Realizing the door is closed and there is no possibility of reconciliation in the future like I always hoped for in the future. He waited years before getting engaged which makes it easier to process, but it sucks when I am not yet secure in a relationship leading to marriage anytime soon. So he is happy and loved like he wanted to be and I am still sad and searching . It sucks!!!!

Am deeply hurt

The strength, honesty and integrity you show is truly inspiring, I have been in the eye of the storm for 5 months now and it is still just the worst, but to hear you explain your personal journey and to gain some comfort in your words which have given me a glimmer of hope for a better life on the other side of the abyss, I cannot thank you enough. And I have to agree your smile is a blessing 🙏🌻❤️

I struggle with the second one. My ex was a cheater and liar who ruined our family and it just feels deeply unfair and hurtful that he found a new relationship right away. I’m not sure I’ll ever get past it. But I suppose I agree that being “happy for him” would represent a milestone 🙄

I thought I was with my future husband. Come to find out, everything was a monumental lie. He was cheating the entire time. I hardly received an apology.

My ex never admitted to it. I hoped that knowing more details about the cheating would help me. I see that it’s better that I don’t know in order to heal quicker.

I salute u ur such a intelligent lady to make people understand

If your spouse suddenly abandons you, that is a sign that you long ago abandoned them and it is invisible to you. You are unable to see how you abandoned your spouse and they're only remaining option with you was to leave completely. They have likely attempted many times to explain themselves and how they feel and you ignored them and treated them like it didn't matter. Nobody up and leaves out of the blue without a big reason.