"I think OP's husband is a bad father based on this fanfiction I wrote" is my favorite genre of AITA comments, it's always so unhinged

Hearing NL complain about people making up conversations in their heads to feel superior to strangers on the Internet just overloaded me with irony.

I always love the posts where he gets lost in his morality mind palace and every time he reads a comment or a chat message his answer changes slightly

"I told her to stop thinking she was right" is a top 10 redditors with people skills lines for sure, that's how you change someone's mind.

Omg yes the Costco episode. Been waiting for this since the cliff-hanger

why is that guy spitefully cooking "curry for one" so fucking funny

I'm gonna start going to grocery stores for lunch and be like, "No, no! I brought this rotisserie chicken from home, don't worry."

That first comment thread on the chicken post... Holy moly, actual peak redditor energy conversing with itself and patting itself on the back. People like that is what makes me ashamed sometimes that I regularly use the site myself.

I used to work in a retail store and remember one time this mother with her 3 kids was shopping groceries and her card was declined. Her kids had already eaten some snacks so she got really embarrassed and asked if she could pay for just the snack first and put the rest on wait because there was forming a line. Then she called someone to transfer funds so she could pay the for the rest.

Man, the "if I were a retail worker, I'd judge everyone" rant makes me miss King of Retail. I'll have to go back

Some salmon always tryna boil uphill

Idk man, the way OP reacted when the friend brought up having Tom watch the kid made me kind of suspicious. "Don't meddle in my marriage" is a weird response to that question.

"She asked me if I was upset that she didn't cook for me. I said that I wasn't, EVEN THOUGH I CLEARLY WAS UPSET." Had me rolling dude. Holy cow, that is hilarious.

i'm so happy he saw the one about the guy laughing at his niece's gifts. he really was the joker

“you’re gonna pay for it what’s the difference?” the difference is the trash that people leave in the aisles after they finish their yogurt drinks. fucking gross, nobody finds it for a few hours to maybe a day or two, it smells

NL fantasizing about being handcuffed opens doors to who he really is 😂

Strange how shopping cultures differ. Here in Finland, I've never in my life seen anyone eating or drinking stuff in the grocery store before paying for it and it's almost unfathomable to me how anyone could think that's an acceptable thing to do.

I dont see how the guy is the only bad guy for not being in the mood for chicken salad. Just... like... save the salad for later?? Like yeah he should technically eat it but who cares? Itll be eaten eventually? Dude wanted some soup just let him eat the soup

the reading of the reddit comments interaction at 50:21 is pure pain lol

I consume this content way faster than its produced and thats not okay

IM LEGIT SO FUCKING DONE WITH REDDITORS ASSUMING EVERYTHING ABOUT A PERSONS RELATIONSHIP, JUST CAUSE NOT EVERYTHING IS 100% 50/50 DOESNT MEAN ITS UNTENNABLE RELATIONSHIPS WITH DEAD BEATS THE WORLD IS JUST MORE COMPLICATED THEN THAT.

I cook for a whole household and have "undercooked" chicken multiple times by my family's standard. I just eat it that way because it's never affected me, but if literal children were eating and my partner was worried, I'd either put it back in myself or tell them to do it. I usually put it back in if anyone complains anyway. I don't even understand how the comment escalated to her being that pissed off to be honest. Maybe she just had a long day and he could have said it with a tone, but "I'm not talking to you if you don't like my cooking." Is something a toddler would say before stamping their feet.

I worked in a grocery store for years. I never really cared if little kids ate/drank something while shopping as long the parent paid for it after and threw away any garbage (which parents NEVER did if it was a banana)

I was eating when he made the joke about using his rectal-use thermometer for cooking and I was just laughing with food stuck in my mouth for 30 secs lmao

Idk how anyone can call a man an asshole for walking away when he was upset, and apologizing when he returned.

After the insane blue ball at the end of last episode I can finally find release watching the Costco segment

I'm a surface to air homing missile system, I don't have a lot of time to hang out at a café, I have skies to sweep and targets to acquire. I have to calculate the algebraic sum of where my missiles aren't and where they weren't, don't talk to me.

I took physical chemistry last semester and the word thermodynamics still haunts me

Something is wrong with that girlfriend. If you cook for your partner and they wont eat it and their response is "arent you mad?" something is very wrong. How do you get mad at someone for NOT being mad? LIke what?

I always figured the food isn’t yours until you have paid for it, and since it’s not yours you shouldn’t eat it yet

I'm actually triggered about peoples responses to the costco one. The comments that are like "you are denying your child food" are actually insane. Only something like a 6 month old baby needs feeding right there and then. A toddler can wait. If you're feeding your child with food you haven't purchased yet the literal only reason to do so is because you can't be fucked to deal with them annoying you about shit they want. You're actually inflicting your own complete lack of discipline upon your kids. They will be absolutely fine waiting 45 minutes for you to be done shopping at the store and get a McDonalds or something. I have no idea why this is an alien concept to instill a most basic level of self-control in a child that allows them to understand it's not the end of the fucking world to wait a short while before they can satiate themselves. Like, some meals literally take longer to cook than a shopping trip. What on earth is the problem. Just wait. Also I pretty hard disagree on the "it's fine to consume shit before you pay for it" take. Generally with ethics you should ask yourself "what would the world look like if everyone followed this principle?". There's a reason supermarkets don't let you open tabs. How much extra work the shop assistants would have to do because everyone's just like "whoops, my card got declined", "whoops, left my wallet at home", "whoops forgot i was poor" . Is it the worst thing you can do? No. But neither's picking your nose and eating it. If it were "AITA for leaving my wife in Costco because she was encouraging the kids to pick and eat their bogeys" i don't think people would still be going "it's a victimless crime" and you wouldn't want to argue for a world where every sixth person you walk past is prospecting for olfactory nuggets.

.....how did everybody ignore the ''i drink my coffee at the toilet'' part for over a month?

I mean, I don't know about Costco, but I was a cashier at Superstore for a couple years and it was pretty common to ring up an empty wrapper or drink bottle every few carts. Nobody working at the store really cares most of the time since it really doesn't inconvenience anyone, but yeah, it might not be the best habit to teach your kids. I feel like when people become moms, though, they gain some kind of overpowering instinct to just bust open whatever the hell as a snack for their kids. I might never forget the little kid seated in the cart just gnawing on a brick of cheddar one time. They'd also hand me banana peels and take half-eaten apples out of their kids' hands and expect me to ring them through and I'm like, yeah, these things are sold by weight and I don't wanna touch that, just take it. (Wash your produce though, you have idea how many times that thing might have been on the floor.)

Arguing simultaneously that speeding is cool cause everyone does it but jaywalking is a terrible crime because it's possibly dangerous is peak North American car-lover mentality

Chicken is not steak. Pink chicken is not okay to eat. Although yeah it's kind of weird he made a whole other meal rather than just cooking it another five minutes.

Every so often, I am one of those guys who walks around drinking an open bottle of water in the grocery store, and I kinda see where the husband on that post is coming from. Not because it's "technically illegal" or anything, but because it's kinda setting a bad precedent for your kids. Especially if, as it sounds in the post, they *opened a multi-pack and then drank one of those?* That seems weird to me, like it's one thing to grab a water from the cooler as you go in, but opening a multi-pack of drinks is different somehow lol.

Ive never lost an arguement against the strawman i made to make me feel better

React court always gets me pogged up

Watching react court inspired me to talk about the costco yoghurt anecdote with my friends, nice to see it on react court this time

LET'S GO I've been dying for this after hearing this post teased at the end of the last video. Edit: I think I've laughed more at this video than any other NL video, absolute gold

I do actually get the warm food thing if its been cold out all day, id much rather eat a stew or a soup or any hot and maybe hearty food then a cold dish, on the other hand my guy is INSANE for taking it as far as they did

My dad would eat the deli food before paying, while shopping, and I would get embarrassed. He always said he knew he was going to pay for it, so it never bothered him. However, other people didn't know that and I'd feel judged. I've left and waited in the car for him to finish shopping a couple times due to the anxiety of feeling judged. Years later I got a job there and let me tell you, all the workers are definitely judging you. The amount of half finished containers of food and drinks we found on the shelf was ridiculous, so when we saw someone eating their food we'd just assume they were going to steal it.

I will never get bored of NL losing his mind over how psycho redditors are.

You need to get a Thermapen meat thermometer. It’s a game changer. Not an ad. Just a customer who swears by their quick read food thermometers. So helpful

dude just wanted to have some hot soup and for some reason it's ok to shame him into eating chicken salad. It's kinda insanely ridiculous to be upset that someone didn't eat food you made. We're not struggling to survive here, it's so non-consequential to eat something you'd rather eat. It literally affects your SO in no way

The bit about him showing his transaction history had me rolling

The reason drinking in a grocery store is wrong, is because if everyone did it there would be chaos. Society cannot exist with all these out of control munchers. Lots of cheesy little social norms are based on this principle. Both a holes, bad parents, nothing crazy.

You should be on the US supreme court

I agree with chicken salad man, i'm sorry to say. when it's cold outside you eat something warm, and in summer you bust out the salads. It's the natural order of the world

For the costco thing atrioc was arrested on a school trip for drinking a water in the store and his father had to FLY OUT to free him from mall security

14:13 well probably yes, but also maybe not. I tried to actually steal a toy once from a Walgreens, and two cashiers pincered me on approach the door. They called the police and, while we waited, one of them repeatedly informed me that I was an evil boy and going to hell. I was 10

Drinking coffee on the toilet is insane

38:00 The roast beef rant had me in stitched

i cant believe people in his chat really think you should be locked up for stealing a drink.

Imagine not being able to use Fourier's Law

I have worked in a grocery store and watched people eat stuff in the store and just walk out with their backpacks full. only the managers cared

Tom in the post: *exists* Tom in the comments: Hates his kid, beats his wife, doesn't pay taxes

My main concern about the eating/drinking in the store is that you might get a minimum wage worker in trouble

"Hellscape of chaos and big feelings" why do people write like this? Do American schools not teach kids how to write?

Let's fucken go! Was stupid bored at work. Thanks NL!

Drinking something you haven't yet paid for yet is a sanitary issue in my opinion. handing a cashier something you have had your mouth on is a great way to pass something on to someone else. not to mention if you are snacking on peanuts or drinking a milk based drink you could be potentially exposing someone to a life threatening allergy that the packaging would have otherwise protected them from.

Thank gosh for React Court. NL is our guardian angel accompanying us through the hellworld that is reddit

I’ve seen war, famine, and pestilence but nothing could prepare me for the true hellscape that is… Costco.

My parents used to give me a bag of grabs whilst I sat in the trolley to keep me busy 😂

"YTA for not nuking your wife's poison chicken" is a take

I think the more "socially unacceptable" part with regards to eating food in a store before paying for it is when people see you actually breaking opening the container to eat the food itself. It gives off the impression you're stealing something. Similar energy to a kid tearing apart a box to get the toy inside.

you cannot survive in retail with that level of perpetual internal misanthropy

5th verdict is a very respectful YTA, you cant expect your friends to limit their time based on your circumstance

Quite frankly, eating/drinking something in the store and paying for it later is one thing But the amount of times I've seen empty packages, bottles and cans in some shelves. You know this only happened because someone ate or drank it in the store and did in fact not pay for it. Now I'm not saying that you necessarily would not pay for it, but consuming it in the store makes people more comfortable doing it themselves and some of them do not realize or just do not intend to pay. So we just shouldn't Normalize it. I'm sure you can just wait a few minutes, you're not going full grocery shopping when you're on the border of dying of thirst and or hunger.

nah that whole mom letting kids have the thing the dad wont let them have is a horrible parenting dynamic and the dad might not want to seem like the "bad guy" for something thats trivial and teached them a lesson on patience.

my home's temp inside is usually 75-76 but thats because arizona is hot as hell and 74 or lower during the summer would kill the air conditioner

WHAT ARE U DOIN THERE MISTER CANTELOPE me when anybody walks into my bar

Stunlocked on Sesame Street was a wild ride, I loved every second of it.

Re: The first one, if you haven't paid for it yet, it's still the store's property. They're not in the business of loaning out items with promises of future payment, and it would be a nightmare to have to watch everyone in the store just free-for-alling on the merchandise and just hope they're all going to keep track for you and pay out of the kindness of their hearts. Plenty of people consume stuff in the store and then just throw out the empty can of soda or leave the wrapper on a shelf or something, people are animals. It's not a good system to go, "Well *I'm* trustworthy and will totally pay you later, what's the problem?!" It "feels wrong" because it's not really any different than leaving the store without paying, and saying, "I'm gonna come back and pay later though, what's the problem?"

I've been waiting to finally hear NL's bluey takes. It's about what I expected but ngl I'm still gonna ride or die that show

McDonald's won't eat the cost. When you get to the next window, hand you a declined receipt and hold up a debit machine and ask if you want to try again. If it's busy, they'll ask you to park and come inside to finish paying.

on the second one: laughing isn't necessarily a choice. If you find something really funny, especially if you're trying to suppress said laughter because it's inappropriate, a laughing fit can become impossible to stop. It sounds to me like OP did everything he could to smooth things over: excusing himself to calm down, coming back to apologize, saying he actually liked the gift, etc. If it was up to him he'd have (somewhat awkwardly) thanked her and moved on, but gift must've looked so bad it literally broke his brain. I'd agree he's still technically the asshole since he still hurt the kid's feelings. But you can't really hold him accountable for something he did involuntarily. However, sanity aside: at twelve a child is capable of a sense of humor and some measure of self-awareness. Hypothetically there could've been some scenario involving the kid accepting graciously that what she'd made was unimpressive; either self-deprecating ("haha yeah it does look pretty bad") or humbly expressing a desire to improve. But then again, she's still a child so blaming her for her emotions (in response to something she is passionate about getting laughed at) is also an asshole move.

My bank told me that the system counts tap payments and after maybe 14 taps the system will but not always decline and require a swipe or chip insert payment.... not sure why

I think drinking something before buying it is ok but I simultaneously agree it’s not a habit to impart on kids

Taco Cabeza is just around the corner

React court is officially Spotify’s number one sanest podcast

Bruh, I need at least one warm meal a day. I don't care what anyone says warm food is just more comforting.

I definitely feel like cooking chicken is like 1000% less stressful with a meat thermometer haha. Would recommend

If he's getting declined 1 in 50 times, he needs to change banks.

AITA for I snacking on several deli meats already weighed and labelled but not yet paid for?

I only did the store thing once - I was really sick and drank some gatorade because the check out queue was long as fuck

Meat thermometers are an absolute game changer for burgers, turkey on a bun never tasted so good

Absolutely 46:25, if anyone watching this is that concerned, just buy a digital meat thermometer. You can get cheap ones for like 10-20 bucks that work just fine and take the guesswork out of cooking meat (and baking bread!) completely. You also get used to what "looks/feel right"

Lords council for human rights got me

I am incredibly surprised by the wanting Hot Food made them the asshole. I totally am with the dude. I'll make some soup and save the chicken salad for later. It preserves well in the fridge. Yes setting your thermostat to 74F is insane in colder regions but there is that feeling of eating or drinking cold or warm food and have it retroactively warm or cool your stomach. It feels good. Getting a nice cold beverage and have that cool flow throughout your torso is an amazing feeling that happens occasionally. It happens with a hot cup of milk too. Easiest NTA from me Hot Food wanting man.

2023 and theres still no g in strength bro

Pink chicken: Why didn't they just nuke it in the microwave? Edit: And yep, Meat thermometers are a game changer. Get one with an alarm that you can set for the target temperature and there you go!

9:20 NL revealing his and every 50 yo pixie cut’s fantasy

The most amazing thing about that subreddit is that if any man is ever mentioned in any story, including one that is 99% between two women, immediately the man is the villain and they start quoting goddamn 1960s radical feminist literature about how men like him are the cause of all of women's woes.

First time I heard chip and pin I thought I was watching Switch Sports Golf

Kind of insane no one even mentions the fact that cash exists and doesnt get declined

I died at the asbestos mine 🤣

When you bring snacks have them in your own container.

Walking one aisle over *Achievement unlocked* family ABANDONED

Ill condence my thoughts on 1st OP to be i sympathise as a super anxious person but as a responsable adult you just have to eat it and grow up