1 body can heal when it feels safe 2 connect with people who have been through the same thing 3 meditation 4 create boundaries 5 you know best… 6 give yourself a break 7 having the right people around you 8 alone time 9 celebrate progress
@vixenvalenzuela5 ай бұрын
💕💕💕💕
@diva555sg3 жыл бұрын
The longer you are into a relationship the harder to leave.
@lorrainem8234 Жыл бұрын
I've been in my "relationship" (if you can call it that) for over 30 years, but I realized that I have to leave in order to survive.
@Emerson-jq8ej Жыл бұрын
Stop making excuses for poor choices, no morals and no fortitude.
@sherriekimberly6122 Жыл бұрын
Took me seven yrs of planning to get away after 24 years and still trying to get away from his stalking, salvation army is involved helping me go ghost now 🙌
@christie883 Жыл бұрын
@@sherriekimberly6122well done, GOD bless you 💜
@sherriekimberly6122 Жыл бұрын
@@christie883 thank you ❤️
@diva555sg3 жыл бұрын
Narcissist has no conscience. Do not stay & say you will make the relationship better or try to salvage the relationship.
@dennisstockdale1159 Жыл бұрын
Thank you
@C.C.181210 ай бұрын
So true! Talking to people who don't understand narcissism can bring more hurt. They can end up gaslighting you with all the good intentions in the world!
@barboliveros5 ай бұрын
Agree 100%❤️
@rosehiver62622 күн бұрын
Even my doctor doesn’t understand.
@htpm325 Жыл бұрын
Growing up and learning to have a high tolerance of abuse - that statement truly resonates. I will always remember the day my ex- wife was standing over me at the kitchen table, screaming her abuse and me disassociating my mind and realising that I had re-created my youth, I had replaced my abusive mother with an abusive wife. It was that moment that I knew I had to get out. Today I am on the other side of the healing journey though still learning, for instance recognising triggers earlier and being able to observe them instead of reacting to them. I think triggers are one of the trickiest things to deal with coming out of long term abuse and that one can only overcome them from a place of peace. Interesting that I went through everything you describe as part of my own healing except for meditation which never really worked for me. Intense exercise on my mtn bike is where my mind cleared, being in the woods and pedaling like a mad man, focussed on the trail and any obstacles, tough terrain, tricky corners, that kind of thing. I think it was its own type of meditation and was my cathartic release of all the tension etc. Great video. Nice to meet you in this virtual space, this virtual reality. It is really only here where I meet true survivors of narcissistic abuse. It is not a topic that people want to talk about and even if they do they don't really know anything about it other than the cultural cliché. Peace.
@rascallyrabbit Жыл бұрын
we recreate what we learned as kids. most people die in their pain. congratulations on being a minority.🤩
@WayWash-fn9mm Жыл бұрын
I've recently left a 12yr relationship with a narcissistic behavioral man I'm looking for help I need to find me physical and mentality
@happyhealthyblessed10 ай бұрын
You know this helps me. You replaced a toxic mother with a toxic wife. I did the same I replaced a toxic father with a toxic husband. Makes sense. Than you so much! Peace ✌️
@diva555sg3 жыл бұрын
The narcissist need to feel he has control over you so never show emotion & never be predictable.
@iLLustrious854 ай бұрын
He?
@Fussyfarro75 ай бұрын
Tears literally just from the title 😢❤🎉
@kathystarr610111 ай бұрын
I find that if I exercise, stretch, strength train, take care of myself emotionally, and eat healthfully, I can fight the effects of CPTSD.
@vodkavuittonАй бұрын
Narcissists do not heal ever from their narcissistic abuse. Anyone who is desperate enough to spy on someone & approach other people to help them with NO shame can not be saved from themselves 🤷🏾♀️ whatever they are going through is eating away at any sense of self they may have left & soon you realize you are really being targeted by a bunch of NOBODIES & let's just face it, nobody respects a nobody. No matter what I will forever be blessed & highly favored to not ever have to be that miserable. They are just not happy people & all you can do is watch them consistently destroy themselves ✌🏽
@Beth09624 ай бұрын
This is so good! My ex discarded me after 17 years and I’m so close to checking myself in a hospital. I became sick with an autoimmune disease soon after marriage. You’re right! My body was 24/7 fight or flight. You would think I would happy being away from him but I’m not. Guess it’s the trauma bond and it’s been so difficult trying to take care of myself. My mind is so damaged have no clue or motivation to help myself. He’s also been on a smear campaign and still is even though he has a girlfriend, he still continues to crush me. You’ve helped so much! ❤
@charles12000111 ай бұрын
Aletta, you are correct the only way you can begin to heal is to cut off all ties with the narcissist or psychopath and just run. So, you can truly have time to think, contemplate and evaluate without them invading your mind with their presence and verbal abuse.
@desertcrab633111 ай бұрын
My goodness Aletta, you have turned something cruel and ugly into something beautiful. Look at you helping us, this is a perfect follow-up to your documentary, and your energy is infectious.
@juttanumata931 Жыл бұрын
Girl. I been there. I've not had ME. They chose us because we were capable of transformation. Nobody knows this. Transformation is priceless.
@user-un4ye5hd5y8 ай бұрын
What is ME?
@vodkavuittonАй бұрын
Everybody transforms 🤷🏾♀️ I'd be careful giving them excuses for why they "chose" you because they have no empathy & don't need a good reason to destroy you in the 1st place 🤷🏾♀️ jealousy can make an insecure person do the most disgusting things 🤷🏾♀️ Transformation happens in them too. They start to look evil & just as sick as they are. Forbid it be someone you actually thought highly of who then shows too much of themselves & you have no choice but see them as the delusional helpless reject they are but J Cole did say your idols do be rivals ✌🏽 the game they play is all about their own insecurities & jealousy. They transform into wicked witches. Do not give them anymore since of reasoning for why they will not leave you alone because none of it will ever make any sense outside of giving their evil something to stand on so they can feel justified in continuing to ruin your life. Every day they have a new excuse & I'm simply over their attention seeking ass. It's been time to move on & they will reap what they sow for seeking desperate measures to invade someone else's freedom that God gave freely ✌🏽
@invisiblecollege89310 ай бұрын
This is great. Have an old best friend Gus poison my friend group, then my wife. Have taken 10 years to get clear that I not only have been subject to 1 but 2 covert NPD’s. Almost died, but thank goodness to people like this. I see clearly now. Trying to heal now & make the right decisions
@galinamyagkova36103 жыл бұрын
Your movie is soooo much need people!!! Thank you 🙏 for creating
@diva555sg3 жыл бұрын
For childhood trauma if it is not address you can develop bipolar, schizophrenia, ptsd, multipersonality disorder, depression, anxiety & suicide! Be well! Be safe! Practise self love not self-centredness. YOU ARE ENOUGH!💕💞💗
@edwhite7475 Жыл бұрын
All your comments contain great wisdom, but this one is loaded- Well for me, anyways. The PTSD is real.
@tionytim33333 жыл бұрын
Truly greatful Aletta. You have been of great support to my healing journey ever since the documentary. Celebrating myself and finding the road back to me again. 🙏🏽 🇰🇪 Asante!
@TheScorchie2 жыл бұрын
I came across your documentary today and had to watch it in sections. I was nearly destroyed by narcissistic abuse in more than one relationship. It is years behind me but I'm still trying to rebuild myself. I think I'll always have some if the mental scars but I have grown so much since them. Thank you for making it. It made me feel less alone in my experience!
@paulineclarke59407 ай бұрын
Thank you so much ,yo know my body can heal when it fees safe ,and trust my inner intuition. Me myself and I will survive to do better things I believe
@afriendorfoe Жыл бұрын
I honestly thought I was the problem in the relationship and it was tearing me up. So I had therapist kind of hint at what I was describing sounds like narcissism but she couldn't be for certain bc she didn't know him. She taught my DBT. Then I started to learn about narcissism and it was crazy to see so many people going through similar situation as I was. Ppl kept telling me to just leave him and I couldn't figure out why I couldn't. It really did help to see other people's stories.
@plumduff33032 ай бұрын
My sister died of cancer at 52 looking back id say having narcissist parents made her sick that shortened her life very sad.
@rascallyrabbit Жыл бұрын
so true. we don't know what a boundary is until we have a self to define. we disappeared as children just to survive.
@kittybluett8887 Жыл бұрын
Very hard to leave a narcissist when it’s your mother and I’ve tried, accepting her, too hard and I had too many years of her abuse, some physical but mostly emotional and psychological. Tried low contract and no contact but I am a native of New Zealand and they put a great emphasis on respecting old people. She is sickeningly nice to people but I know she can be really nasty. She’s uses all the narcissist ploys. I was diagnosed with depression at 54 after going to doctor with what I thought was stress from dealing with her. At 56 depression got worse, was put on antidepressants and saw my first Counselor. That’s when I found out about NPD after describing my mother’s bizarre behaviour to her, previously I thought she was either bipolar or had Aspergers. I developed fibromyalgia at 59, antidepressants help with my Fibro pain. I now have thoracic outlet syndrome bc of a lifetime of tight shoulders. Have had some counselling but I probably need to see a psychiatrist or psychologist but they cost money. She’s still alive at 89, she has done so much damage, turned my 2 brothers against me and now they are no contact with her bc they cannot deal with her yet they blamed me for not being able to deal with her. I’m in contact with her but keep it low and always remain aware of her narcissism. I concentrate on my son and his family, try to live as healthy as possible, take a low dose antidepressant and a sedative to help sleep. At 66 I’m going to do whatever it takes to get me through the rest of my life. I have good and bad days.
@Jp188889 ай бұрын
Hang in there❤ you’re loved and gonna make it
@user-pv3px4nb2m4 ай бұрын
Yes you are not alone in this case of a mother being the abuser. If I tell you my story I’m a 120% sure you will feel better about yours. That’s how badly emotional and psychologically damaged my mother had done. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
@antoneegoldingham35634 ай бұрын
Hi I'm a native to New zealand. I hope you can find your peace, your input about elders respect, is understandable, I too repect my father whom I never got along with, only to ask for help, and never the other way round. I since treat him as and let go as much as possible for the family in whole, otherwise outside interfering is not credible as a family, make the most or your situation and carry on, where in new zealand are you, I live in palmy
@kittybluett88874 ай бұрын
@@antoneegoldingham3563 Kia Ora, thanks for your reply. I live in Whakatane, have been to Pamy, twice.
@ciancoyle99134 ай бұрын
jesus man that sounds incredibly tough, you will make it through however + here are some tips feel free to research each one if you like. Take shrooms to heal ptsd. Go to acupuncture. Go to a homeopath. Take NAC supplement Take magnesium bysglycinate. Get closer to God look up prayers to break your soul tie with the demonic spirit. e.g anything not of the light or divine order is not welcome here and must leave immediately. Trust me narcissists have infused their devilish soul into yours. Don't be scared fear no evil. pray. God will save you. You are his child. Read the bible go to mass get baptised again, trust me, this demonic spirit is in you so you want rid out it. No weapon formed against me shall prosper ❤ you are loved i dislike hearing these stories man i really hope you are ok... much love and light and healing and blessings
@ResidentEvilReVerseUniverse Жыл бұрын
Thank you 😢you seem like a very happy individual I would have never known you went through what you did in the documentary.
@Jesusandme100 Жыл бұрын
I think that what can really heal is God our creator, he gaves us a heart and he can heal it. He can listen anytime and if we reach out to him he can heal anything. He made us perfect and can rebuild us. GOD BLESS JESUS LOVES U AND DIE FOR U AND ME SO WE CAN BE FREE FROM EVIL THINGS OF THIS WORD. HE HAS DONE SO MUCH FOR ME. I ADORE U JESUS MY LORD. 💓
@AMARMybabyАй бұрын
❤❤❤❤
@forensicbadassprofiling Жыл бұрын
These were wonderful pieces of advice, thank you so much. I wanted to add that if anyone is coming out of let's say ten or Twenty thirty years of these relationships, don't put any timeframe on what recovery should look like. Also, when you feel like you've regressed backwards, realize that you're just about to make a giant breakthrough.
@Deb_Bee_Thriver3 ай бұрын
Thank you Aletta. This was a very validating video. to watch and reassuring that I am on the right path to recovery from Narcissistic Abuse and C-PTSD. Good luck with your continued healing too. xo Deb
@smilesryan Жыл бұрын
Aletta, thank you so much for this. You have no idea how much this short film, & the documentary, has helped…after 20 years of covert narcissistic abuse. You are my inspiration. ❤
@flightydancer Жыл бұрын
Great work you are doing, helping to educate and encourage many to heal from one of the worst thing a human can go through. Really beautiful.
@christianhackl89663 жыл бұрын
Thank you! I have watched your video at least 100 times within the last year or so. Watched it over and over again in various states of healing. I am now coming more and more towards the end of the video, but still not able of letting go. Not at all. Thank you for also including a man's perspective! Very import to even understand what was going on. Thanks for your work and to all who had participated in it. I had a blind spot. I was doing great before. Becoming a mess afterwards is mindblowing. Hate the word "weak". This fabricated and covered up -weakness- was and is never there, this state of mind just needs some oxygen. And now I am breathing, again. I unlearned how to breath.
@ItsAllMoThug332 ай бұрын
De energie die jij uitstraalt is geweldig
@jessieacuff34164 ай бұрын
Thank you for this. I’ve been out of the relationship for about a year now and I still seem to struggle. I still feel lost some days, confused, withdrawn. Thank you for letting me see I’m not alone. ❤
@evabohusova67643 жыл бұрын
♥️♥️♥️♥️you look Happy now.
@frankasta4 ай бұрын
Thank you for the wonderful video!!
@rhiannonohara98403 жыл бұрын
I was so happy to see that you uploaded a Video! I think it gives a lot of people a lot of hope to see how good you are now and that you healed yourself! You are truly inspirational. Thank you very much, you opened my eyes ♥️
@AlettaMeijer3 жыл бұрын
Hi Rhiannon, thank you very much for your kind words. I hope it will give a little bit of hope to those who need it. Although I am still on my healing journey (I haven't fully recovered yet), I feel that I have healed and learned a great deal so far, which I thought was worth sharing. Thanks again, and I'm wishing you much strength on your journey!
@c3909 Жыл бұрын
@@AlettaMeijer ♥️♥️♥️ thank you 🙏 from the bottom of my heart!
@williamthecaterpillar476110 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video. I recognised you from the documentary and I’m sincerely grateful for you trying to help others. I really enjoyed this and it spoke to me directly. I hope you don’t mind me asking please lose the piano in the background it distracted me so much, I found it hard to hear your message through it. Your message is really important. I value it greatly. Thank you 🙏
@GoodDay-ox1el Жыл бұрын
Thank you, Alletta! You are amazing ❤
@nivesdobronic2 жыл бұрын
You are such a beautiful person with such a beautiful energy, thank you for helping us who are in recovery phase of narcissitc abuse… Im in a deep pain right now but strong enough to overcome this trauma… Im positive… I’m grateful for this channel it helps really a lot 🙏… thank you from the bottom of my heart … love and light to you and all the people here wh o fighting with trauma… you are hope and light 🙏😇❤️
@kaoutar6921Ай бұрын
Hi warriors, survivers, strong people you got this you can get yourself out of it it takes time some effort step by step you can do it . ❤
@dereljohnson Жыл бұрын
After seeing that documentary I’m sort of glad she broke my heart first. If I’d left first, she could and would have defamed me and made me lost my license to practice law. Instead she bled me dry over three years, despite the protestations of my friends. But if I had help and knowledge of NPD I could have done it and avoided the pain
@WayOfHaQodesh3 жыл бұрын
Your life experiences help Aletta, thank you for sharing...
@laetitia04028 ай бұрын
This is the type of material that we victims need to move forward. valuable information. Thank you for sharing your life story, in which many of us see ourselves reflected. Thank you for giving us tools that we can also use. thank you for your kindness. God bless you!
@PM-tk3se3 жыл бұрын
I am so excited for this!!! Your movie was amazing ❤️ and really life changing. Thank you so much for this 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
@gdm1979 Жыл бұрын
You are such an inspiration! Beautiful inside and out. ❤️
@leticiabv95803 жыл бұрын
Ty Aletta, this is pure gold!❤ May we all can heal and be in a better place 😘 Greetings from Mexico
@prant89988 ай бұрын
Great video! Meditation is torture for me since I have ADHD.
@lenawiden1557 Жыл бұрын
THANKYOU ALETTA🍃💕🙏🏼🌸🍃
@edwhite7475 Жыл бұрын
What you said about feeling as if youre the only one....wow. The narc and the whole pack of 'flying monkeys' make you feel isolated, normal, happy people dont relate, they think youre crazy, and ive noticed that i just think differently about everything than they do. It is appalling at times...people with no empathy are only concerned with themselves, except when they are scapegoating you , to make themselves feel better. My trust issues are overwhelming now...but im understanding more and more about all of it. These people warp your mind.
@rain7bow4373 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for this. Im on the road to recovery im hoping. Everyday is hard but im trying to be kind to myself. Thanks again.
@izabudz2365 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing, beautiful girl xxxx. I'm still lost, but thanks to stories like yours I have a motivation not to give up on myself yet....and never.
@irenemendonca9722 Жыл бұрын
You are So right .Abuse The trauma is so real
@mariannebaker75322 жыл бұрын
Thanks for encouraging words and advice. I’ve been doing all these self healing things myself for past three years. I had 30 years of damage but my faith and belief in good in the world is stronger each day . Meditating only lasts 19 minutes with me but walks in nature alone do so much more for me. So glad to see your doing better too.
@shockingdocumentaries4255 Жыл бұрын
So things that I’ve been doing like art and having alone time is a GOOD thing. I was told they are the reasons I’m being mistreated the way I am. By some people who make excuses for abuse and civil rights violations. I am now seeing those people AREN’T healthy… Or like I was selfish for not being at their beck and call ALL DAY. starting at 6:34am this morning until 11:30am when I blocked them on my phone. Or respecting my numerous request asking them to respect my work week Monday-Friday 9-5 to deal with my health, housing and other issues. Only for them to say they will understand it AGAIN. Then contact me 30 seconds later, literally, continuing to interrupt my day by telling me their health problems as it that’s an excuse for me to hang out with them instead of taking care of my own needs. This video both reassures AND makes me SO angry at the same time. But it’s not because of the host of the video. It’s the way videos like this and your documentary makes my symptoms and the fact that I’ve been gaslighted systematically clearer. The third party abuse and revictimization by people who are suppose to protect me is the hardest part to understand. Especially since my situation is so extreme/ obvious even to strangers. But that’s used against me to make it seem like so much bad stuff has happened that it’s not easy to see that the behavior is abusive. Especially when I’m made to feel selfish for not being considerate enough of the narcissistic even when it comes to physical, sexual, verbal , emotional, spiritual abuse. There’s always an excuse to try to blame it on me. While discouraging me from trying new people and places in order to try to get different results. For some reason trying the same thing and expecting DIFFERENT results is considered the SANE thing to do in this situation. Apparently living with violence, mice, fires and retaliatory harassment is the way EVERYONE lives. That’s what a Homecare worker and social worker who didn’t see the need to move out of the #1 slum landlord building despite the mice, seeing the super harass me, fires, etc., told me. They didn’t it was necessary to move. Even though I have the right to. Of course. Speaking about the problems to those in a position to help me is also wrong based off of how I’m criticized being “negative” and not “moving on” for ongoing abuse. Even though I’m being asked what the problem is by someone who needs to know in order to help me, but interrupts, rationalizes, yells and/or hangs up on me when I ask what services are they WILLING to provide. It is re-victimization. Not to mention de-humanizing. The worse part is trying to get help for these problems in the Bronx, NY where you can get discharged from a hospital even when you have Medicaid and the hospital has an x-ray of my collapsed lung. The fire department doesn’t evacuate or even notify tenants of either of the 2 fires that’s happened in the last 7 years. And gets an attitude if you ask why. When your landlord sues you for rent that isn’t owed and is paid EARLY, you end up in court for 2 years. The lawyers yelling at me didn’t help. When unhealthy situations are normalized especially with marginalized groups, where the inhumanity effects pretty much every aspect of our lives ‘in the hood’ the people suffering from the problems are seen as BEING the problem. Even when they don’t complain and are patient, because it’s a good excuse for a narcissist in a position of power to act inappropriately in abusive manners while denying care, then refusing to respect your right to go someplace else. Plus the smear campaign where I go from having my feelings weaponized to the point that I start stuttering and I can’t breathe and have to give up on the person and end the relationship, to having to dispute outrageous demonstrably false lies. That extends the trauma to my permanent records. While also forcing me take out time to fight to END the relationship. I feel crazy even talking about this. But it’s gotten so bad that writing in my journal, art, even gardening has become more difficult. Forget about meditating. That’s become impossible. Being criticized for the things that makes me feel good has had made it harder to do so without feeling like I’m doing something wrong. Recording the abuse helped at first with the gaslighting, but that was when I thought it could help me get out of the situation, and when it was still enough to help me not be provoked into a back and forth that had nothing to do with my reason for contacting someone. Now the situation has just gone on too long. It now seems like the norm. I no longer have an internal voice. It’s been replaced by the voices of these people. The fact that I’ve been doing a lot of art lately helps sometimes. Videos like this and venting to complete strangers also helps when I find myself having days like today. Thanks for the helpful tips, validation, and a safe place to vent. The REALLY interesting parts is that I originally wrote this before even hearing most of the video. It’s scary how many of the things I hear about narcissistic relationships that match with my situation. I wish that when I said something about this narcissistic relationship 20 years ago I wouldn’t have been contradicted by the person I trusted most. But I was blind to how our dynamic was just a lighter version of my original abusive relationship and how it’s a part of my pattern of abuse. However I have a question. What’s the difference between narcissism and bigotry? They both feel the same as far as not being respectful of me as a person and similar gaslighting techniques are used. And I know that when it comes to my initial abuser at least, that one seemed to lead to the other. Both seem to be a factor in my situation. I’m starting to think the inhumane treatment is the only thing important. That and getting out of it. And that being asked why, is more gaslighting that changes the conversation from the abuser as I’m asked what I’m doing to warrant this behavior. It an exercise on victim blaming that’s led to messed up nightmares and even less sleep than I was already getting. As well as my most severe hyperventilating anxiety attacks. That stopped being so bad when the relationship ended. In case i haven’t made it clear, the advice you’ve given for healing has been discouraged repeatedly by the same types of medical professionals who are supposed to be helping me heal. That’s why I’m find this video both enlightening and triggering for the same exact reasons. Anyone with an answer would be appreciated. By the way, sorry for the long comment this is easier than facing the blank pages of my journal. I hope to be in your position one day and to be able to help others heal. Stay blessed. ❤
@StevenKleinfelter Жыл бұрын
Your story sounds a lot like mine. Thank you for posting this.
@Olga-db3ol Жыл бұрын
Aletta, thank you so much for your sharing. I just came across your documentary and this video and I really needed it to hear. from my heart to yours - Deep gratitude!
@jadegreen15547 ай бұрын
Narcissistic abuse is a warning that you need to heal core inner child wounds that leave you vulnerable to codependency and people pleasing. It is a double pillar of the narcissist being a predator and you being an attractive target. Fix your broken safety gates and narcissists will run away.
@seaweedeater31043 жыл бұрын
Thank you Aletta. I also have M.E and it’s gotten worse and worse over the years. I am at last starting to see possibilities for me outside of my illness. And I also meditate for an hour or two each day. It is helping me so much. I wish you lots of love and joy for the future. Thank you for sharing.
@AlettaMeijer3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Kelly! I'm so sorry to hear that your M.E. has gotten worse over the years. It is such a challenge to find positivity and to see the possibilities while being held back by an illness like that. I wish you much healing and joy for the future as well. May you recover fully!
@deverm003 жыл бұрын
what is M.E.? thanks
@RatedArggg2 жыл бұрын
@@deverm00 I think it means Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.
@rupinderh019 ай бұрын
@@AlettaMeijerhi thanks for the video, I also have long covid for 3 yrs which is like ME, after 3 yr narcissistic relationship, and realising my family-parents and 2 sisters are narcissistic , I still live with parents so find it difficult to heal. I don't have any friends or enotionsl support to talk to ❤
@diva555sg3 жыл бұрын
The 1st thing the narcissist will do is to separate you from your support, family & friends.
@seaweedeater31043 жыл бұрын
And when the narcissists ARE your family......
@diva555sg3 жыл бұрын
@@seaweedeater3104 then my friend became the narcissist. She married & now her child is a narcissist. It carry over from one generation to the next. You need to overcome. You need to heal that childhood trauma to break the cycle.
@99.9percent92 жыл бұрын
♡ A big thank-you for this ♡ To feel validated about what you experienced and to not feel alone. We can all slowly recover from the dark night of the soul. Hopefully look into our childhoods and see why we stayed/endured the abuse as long as we did... An insecure primary care giver relationship with an abusive parent/s (Co-dependence) feels familiar, I need to learn healthy boundaries and deal breaker 3 strike rule. ☆ Find your tribe ☆ Relationships are two way give & take - support, time, effort, attention & holding/making space. Protect yourself from one way traffic! Check in with yourself after you been around different people... How do you feel after being with them upbeat, positive, smiling or doom, negative and low vibes and emotionally drained.
@nicholecornes19158 ай бұрын
Hell no we are everywhere
@shirelnemirovski3810 Жыл бұрын
This video is so important and helpful and it's good to see that you're happy after everything you've been through, it's very encouraging. Thank you!
@user-kind_love1532 жыл бұрын
I'm learning about nars and trying to deal with my nars family members( not 1). Your vidio is very helpful to know about nars. By your vidio I feel supportive. Thank you so much.
@metermorphose2 жыл бұрын
🐞Thank you so much making this a topic!🍀It's so important to know, there are so many affected people out there. We have to talk about that as we talk about broken legs. Dank u wel!✨ Absolutely agree: Resting is essential for healing instead of being "busy" with healing 🥰 I liked everything you said in your sympathic way. Thanks for sharing!🐞
@md08213 жыл бұрын
Really good video 🙏♥ Thank you for sharing.
@TheTinyBigzz11 ай бұрын
Well... it takes time to get back to know who you really are after the narcissistic abusive relationship... but you got to believe in yourself!!!
@masielaquezada92217 ай бұрын
thank you so much for the tips. It is really important to treat ourselves with love and compassion and reconnect with our dreams. It is a day by day fight, but it is totally deserving to give us back love and peace.
@martat112 жыл бұрын
Big thank you Aletta🌸 for creating this exceptionally informative documentary; just thinking how useful it would be to screen it in every high school! Hoping that it is screened in independent cinemas to educate the public! Wishing you the best into healing to wholeness; keep creating and shining your bright light! 🌞💕✨
@CameronJohnston-pf5gy8 ай бұрын
I can definitely relate to many of the points you make in the beginning of this video. It’s only after watching this that I’ve realised I’ve dealt with narcissistic people for much of my life-my family of origin included. I felt that in order for me to fit in, I had to change certain aspects of my personality-to be ‘accepted’ and even then, those people still weren’t happy. It’s only when I entered therapy at age 27 that it was finally confirmed that what I went through was abuse and boundary violation. At age 51, I finally found that peace that comes from implementing and reinforcing boundaries. I never felt adequate or good enough. I felt insecure and less than. I felt I had to be perfect in order to be accepted. Now, I know that while I’m not perfect, I’ve not got the Adonis body, I’ve not got the dynamic personality, I am good enough and I am ok-lovable, likeable and acceptable
@aidaaga4876 Жыл бұрын
I felt you in every word,in every situation🥺❤️
@HarpreetSingh-il5sy2 жыл бұрын
After time goes pain goes slow slow and over but great lesson so heartbeaking, surrender to god ,lesson to god voice,you heal soon
@valb99632 жыл бұрын
All is so true..thank you
@Infrared1967 Жыл бұрын
Just watched your documentary. At the end when all of your names appeared with your smiles I cried and thanked each one of you by name. Thank you.
@bettyboo10316 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this video. It is awesome, greatly executed, n very, very informative and helpful. Thank you n nay GOD continue to Bless You❤❤❤❤❤
@brainmaze3634 Жыл бұрын
I lost almost all my hair, lost and gained weight, physically, sick all the time to the point where my daughter actually gave me a nausea pill they have cancer patients because nothing else at work, anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, low self-esteem, can’t work because I was battling with everything else there’s no way I could’ve worked at all Ashley before my Buse always had a job and always worked. I have so much trauma to my brain. My memory is shot. I am 40 years old. We had mold in our house and I wasn’t feeling good because of it. I’m very sensitive to stuff like that and I was outside and I was getting so dizzy and he was watching me like almost completely just fall down on the ground instead of and recording it and he kept it and saved it on his phone because he wanted to tell people look at her little crazy she is and probably tell them I was drunk or higher. God knows what, but in reality I was scared myself, and he just recorded it while he was laying in bed and then saved it and just did nothing because there’s nobody there there’s no feelings there’s nobody there. I have a 22-year-old daughter and I have messages that I saved in my phone from his of him telling my daughter the stuff that he was doing to me and he was saying I was doing to him and he was like I’m scared that she’ll find out. I’m even talking to you about this he’s 40 almost And he was playing victim. That’s what they do. He would black out beat me physically he has held guns point-blank to My for head and said some things and he claims he don’t have any memory of any of those and one time he pushed me down and I fell onto my coffee table. They had a glass something or other on it, and it broke and I was trying to get up and he looked at me and he goes what you do and I was like what did I do? Do you mean what do you did you do, you just pushed me to the coffee table and it knocked over something glass and I’m laying in glass and he tells me all the time that I make shit up. And the thing is first of all I’m not like that I would never make something like that up and try to convince him that he did something he didn’t do second of all all he has to do is look at the phone records because I had to call both my neighbors. I had to call his brother my sister-in-law I was saying help somebody help he’s going to kill me like all he had to do was go out those people and unfortunately our neighbors are not here anymore and I I don’t know if his brothers would even remember because he could do something real crappy to me right in front of his brothers and they would allow it because they’re all that way for some reason. And I hope all this makes sense because I am using voice text because I shaky and they have a hard time typing stuff so hopefully it makes sense.
@manometras8 ай бұрын
You are so beautiful, so smart, and kind! :)
@ms.spainishlady26522 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much.
@juliananeves76592 жыл бұрын
Thank you Alleta!
@mandygreen9152 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! i know the feeling to be alone one a eiland so many people did nit understand what i was going true! it was hel whit him, i i have cptst but i found a amazing therapist! you are a realy sweet person you deverse the best!
@brigitte2217 Жыл бұрын
I'm feeling so terribly alone 😢😢😢😢love from Germany ❤
@plumduff33032 ай бұрын
You are here so you're no longer alone
@brigitte22172 ай бұрын
@@plumduff3303 Thank you 🙏❤
@Stefan-ql5ze Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much. The documentary helps a lot. Finally there is something you can show friends and family that helps to understand
@-RitzEnjoli3 жыл бұрын
I am not sure if I did right thing, I openly told my husband that I found out that he is a narcissist. And I told him I will start a Channel about our life and I will be honest about what is going on with me in my life with him, I have nothing to loose because I am so unhappy!!! Got so old suddenly! And I have no place to go(((
@sunu846 ай бұрын
Loved your video. Hugs from Portugal 🇵🇹
@Toads9872 ай бұрын
You such a beautiful person. Sending you hugs and kisses
@mangs9940 Жыл бұрын
I still find it difficult to understand the motivation for the behaviour of a covert narcissist. I have done a lot of research online. The reasons are given , but I still don't understand it fully. It also makes me now question all my past relationships.not being loved is one thing, but gaslighting and deception is on another level. It now makes me question my own sanity. I think I suffer with ADHD, which apparently makes me more susceptible for gaslighting abuse. So now trust no one , which is a sad state to be in. I suppose the one benefit of the experience, is being aware of the tactics and methods and trusting your gut in future. I wish we were taught dangerous personality types at school.
@salma-at-infusion8 ай бұрын
Ur video is blessing at this point in my life...i think the only blessing
@sharneduplessis9279 Жыл бұрын
And if the Narcissist is not a partner but a person that was a "friend" Was nice at first then started with the narcissist abuse and nasty and turning blame on me.
@lastaristocrat7 ай бұрын
I really appreciate your help ❤
@karishmasewlal38019 ай бұрын
Thank you so much. This was so amazingly helpful.
@dailywisdomwordsshirleysat4005 Жыл бұрын
Very nice video. Even your voice has a soothing effect.
@dylanstarratt61379 ай бұрын
thanks for candidly sharing
@davesmithers14310 ай бұрын
Trying meditating
@mariacontos2715 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! Very helpful indeed! God Bless you!
@perhagman6112Ай бұрын
16 years in a narcissistic transactionship. Three years out. No healing yet.
@lisawentworth68319 ай бұрын
I only recently realised that I was raised by a narcissistic mother. I always thought I had an perfect childhood, and then suddenly made stupid decisions into abusive relationships, for no reason. I now realise I was raised by a narc mother, was actually put into therapy at age 7 to make me more compliant to cope with trauma [because my parents were going to change; their words not mine], became a people pleaser, which all set me up for future abuse from men. I am 60 and this is a new revelation, a I have self-blamed and gone over and over my life with a fine tooth comb how I could do things different, but really there was nothing I could do. So, now where do I go to heal?
@Thunder-lightning8528 ай бұрын
Give yourself a hug from me
@mireillegagne7781Ай бұрын
Thank you so much!!
@Richard-gy1pq25 күн бұрын
I've been trying to get my old self back for far too long! Tense as rock always and get irritated or pissed off way too easily and have become anti social. 🤔
@bitley Жыл бұрын
Watch out if someone you just met convince you to move in with them. I know now that I shouldn't have. Luckily I found my own flat in time. When I am here I can heal and the process is restarting now. I went back to her and I shouldn't have.
@user-fs3it1tm8u7 ай бұрын
It is so difficult if your family is one.
@jamillarose5294 Жыл бұрын
I'm out of the relationship but we have children and in court he is smearing my character, undermining me, false allegations about me as a mother, lies, lies and more lies.....it dosent stop 😮
@bewarefalsenonprofits5 ай бұрын
Have you considered using technology to validate your life? They make body cams and you could put in a new sim card every day and file them.
@BumbleBzJellybeans2 жыл бұрын
Ty for these videos. I have PTSD from the abuse I suffered all of my life. While with my husband (narcissist) of 20 yrs. I became very ill. I have remained ill after leaving. Do you know if any books, resources, support systems, etc. that I could use to better understand the link between the two and begin to heal?
@AlettaMeijer2 жыл бұрын
Hi! I'm sorry to hear that you've got PTSD and became very ill after the abuse. I will do a short video where I refer to some books soon! There are support systems/groups on facebook btw. I'm sure that if you search for narcissistic abuse in groups, that you will find some. One I that know by heart is called 'the path forward.' Hope this helps!
@a.alliswell49872 жыл бұрын
May the Healing from God locate you. Ask for the Baptism of The Holy Spirit with the EVIDENCE of speaking in tonques. And watch the supernatural Energy of God and your healing come on you like a dove
@irenemendonca9722 Жыл бұрын
Triggers some I know of some just litterly drop me to my knees and the tears OMG it's little things to.I buy what I want patience