I made a hard pivot into gentle parenting, because I didn't like what I was seeing develop in my daughter, in response to the way I was dealing with her misbehavior. It felt like she was learning to be afraid of making me angry, and that is the opposite of what I wanted her to learn. It has now been years since I raised my voice to her and she is absolutely thriving. She comes to me with her mistakes and asks for guidance on how to make amends with people. She proactively thinks about her behavior toward others and her teachers tell us that she openly talks about the conversations she has with me and wife about how to handle things, when they tell her she navigated a situation well. She even told me that I am her safe place. I don't even have the words to describe how that felt.

I just can’t believe she’s recommending emotional suppression as best practice 😬. And this woman 100% reads her kids diaries 😂

She's not mad that abuse is happening, she's mad that people are talking about it. Only abusers benefit from the silence of victims.

It's crazy that the author of the book thinks it's so easy for a Gen Z to throw their parents out of their lives. As someone from an extremely abusive family, I couldn't imagine the possibility of leaving them, and that love for people who hated me led me to a TWISTED UNDERSTANDING OF LOVE rather than leaving them. And now I have to work with the fact that I was so attached to them that one of the most important feelings in my life has been distorted.

So much of this is "i suffered x y and z and therefore you must suffer the same"

See, anyone's first mistake would be assuming that Shrier understands what she talks about.

I’ve noticed an anti-therapy backlash as of late. Mickey atkins responded to a Matt Walsh video with similar talking points. My theory: it’s meant to appeal to boomer parents whose adult children are going to therapy and setting boundaries with them and they’re mad about it

This book sounds like something an authoritarian mom would write after her adult kids go no contact.

someone might have already commented this, but gentle parenting IS authoritative parenting. The reason for the alternative name is some people get confused between the words authoritative and authoritarian.

Abigail's problem is that she thinks kids should be possessions owned by the parents and she doesn't like it when therapists treat kids as people.

the book should be called "why the kids aren't messed up as I am"

I recently broke NC with my bio mother after 5 years because my father was arrested on domestic violence charges and I felt that she deserved to know about it. She had attempted to tell people about him being a drunk and a psychopath before, and nobody believed her. Because of this experience she had, I thought someone ought to tell her what happened with him. She sent me an e-mail link about this book after I left her house. And she kept talking about how stupid she felt for having let me go to therapy when I was younger. The woman that gave birth to me hates everything about who I am now and desperately wants me to be somebody completely different. This video helped me make sense of... certain things about what she said to me. So I just wanted to say thank you for that.

I really appreciate when someone can balance sass and a bit of edge without being overly condescending and maintaining a healthy dose of humility. Enjoying the slightly more aggressive/callout tone here. Nice!

I've worked in schools for many years. Parents have definitely handed down their own fears and insecurities about therapy to their children. In 3 different schools I witnessed children refuse to talk the school therapists on the grounds that the therapist will try to brainwash them. It's tough seeing someone in need refusing help like that.

Millennials and Gen Z have experienced their surroundings changing at exponential speeds almost their entire lives. Something as simple as FaceTime was a totally cartoonish futuristic idea when I was a kid, now there are self driving cars and neural links. Technological advances had previously been happening at a slower rate for a good amount of time. Also, so many of us have witnessed older relatives’ neuroticism be plainly exposed when given access to social media, this stuff is crazy making. I have so much to say about all of this, but one last thing I will add is that I was doing an intensive outpatient program, and at 26 I was the youngest person there almost the entire time, I was actually really surprised by the age range.

I bet the reason nobody talked to her about climate change is because having a conversation with a person in her part of the political spectrum about climate change is like arguing with a car commercial about what the best car is. It doesn't take long to learn how futile it is and stop

Its almost like the more we talk about mental illness as a commonality instead of just being a "you problem," the more people feel comfortable with sharing their mental illnesses 😮

Her: therapists specifically listed smartphone use as one of the main reasons people are struggling with mental health Also her, somehow: therapists aren’t taking the impact of technology on mental health seriously!

I think they're overthinking what therapy actually is, like they're not constantly deconstructing trauma and reopening old wounds every session, it can literally as mundane as telling your therapist what happened in your week, what's been frustrating you lately, how to build better habits, better communicate etc.

There are some terrible therapists. I've had a therapist told me to "do what the japanese do and get a body pillow" when I told her I watch anime to distract me from loneliness and isolation. I've had a therapist insist that my suicidal thoughts were intrusive and frequent after telling her I've had a couple suicidal thoughts in the past. There are some absolute terrible licensed therapists that will make patients problems worse.

This could have been a good book if the author contrasted "bad" therapy with good therapy and argued for better structures and incentives.

The "you dont get an xray unless you need one" is kind of funny to me, since im getting my teetg xrayed once per year as part of my yearly checkup. You know... To see if we missed any cavities. Its prevention, but not strictly "necessary". So that example made me chuckle

I think appropriate use of drugs is totally fitting. If you tell your doctor that you use an IV drug (that is illegal) your doctor can tell you about how to be safer while doing it. Telling drug users how to clean needles, how illness spreads, and how to make sure their drugs aren’t tainted WILL SAVE LIVES.

As someone who has cut off her parents, I think about that loss on a regular basis because yes, it’s sucks and it hurts. I didn’t want to lose my parents, but the damage they continued to cause me outweighed any benefits of maintaining that relationship. A relationship with them would not have been healthy for me.

39:08 THE IRONY. She criticizes them for not acknowledging the impact of divorce on kids, but she herself fails to acknowledge the impact of STAYING in an abusive/unhealthy relationship/marriage on the kids. So much of what Abigail is saying is so baseless or disingenuous or just straight up intellectually dishonest and I can't fathom many people who read this book agree with her given how wildly incorrect her assumptions are

Ugh Abigail Shrier also wrote the Irreversible Damage book, I can't believe how many people like and praise her books when they are so full of misinformation and fearmongering.

Every "old-fashioned" parent in a nutshell. I hear all the time people saying stuff like "I was spanked as a child and I survived". Wait, were you actually supposed not to survive? Where do you think you were raised at, Sparta? There is one thing that really baffles me as someone who wants to have children, how people don't want ANY external meddling on their parenting (unless it comes from their extended family, it seems). Here in Brazil we pretty much shut down any hopes of advancing in sexual education for years because of conservative fear-mongering that they were teaching children to have sex and masturbate. I wholeheartedly disagree that parents are supposed to be sovereigns over their children and control every single thing they learn.

Abigail sounds like a Scientologist. They hate the mental health/medical industry and believe they have the only answers. Great video!

The middle ground between 'all of my emotions and reactions are valid' and 'harden up' I think is one that is not talked about enough. Similarly to what you talked about in your weaponising therapy talk video where you say it is ok to set whatever boundaries you want, but you should also probably question whether those boundaries are appropriate to have. I think the world needs to hear more of this sort of stuff. Cater to both sides to some degree. Anyway, great video Ana!

Jeez, the attitude of "back in my day no one would do a mental health screening" is more than a little disturbing- call me crazy, but checking children are not in abusive situations is actually a good thing. I also find the maxim "I was spanked and it didn't do me any harm" darkly hilarious- yeahhh it made you think hitting someone, as long as they are much smaller than you and can't fight back, is totally fine- I'd call that harm (thank you so much for pointing that out!)

I will always have Bipolar. It wasn’t going to change after my first year of therapy. I will not get over bipolar in another decade of therapy. It’s the nature of the illness.

I so wish I had the support kids have these days. I grew up neglected in the troubled teen treatment era with a narc mom, alcoholic dad, and extremely toxic family situation. I’m forever thankful for my therapist who showed my the light by just pointing out abusive behaviors (without those words…she was gentle with it) helped me realize I was defending people who honestly hated me and used me as a whipping boy, and was a pillar of strength when I finally left the home. She even offered to fit me in if my mom reacted REALLY bad when I told her I was moving. (She reacted lol, but thankfully I got through it on my own and didn’t need an extra session) Also ty for mentioning the issue with Gen Z self diagnosing and taking these issues on as identities. It’s made me not want to speak on my own issues because i don’t want anyone assuming I learned about trauma from TikTok and dismiss me. Anyway, great video!

Wait, so the authors idea is we should disassociate? 😂 no thanks done with that one.

"Previous generations experienced more trauma and are more resillient." She says as she writes a novel of trauma responses 😆.

Therapy is so important. Wish when I was having anxiety I went to a therapist to teach me how to deal with it instead of bottling it up and taking meds that weren't working for 10 years. It's so important to overcome mental health issues, and I'm dealing with the consequences of leaving my social anxiety untreated for so long now.

Im gen z. My grandparents raised me. Grandpa didnt believe in therapy or “mental illness” at all. When i was in 7th grade i began self harming because i was convinced the reason i lived with my grandparents is because my mother knew i was unlovable. A few months after that i had a complete psychotic break and began tearing apart my stuffed animals and other belongings looking for cameras or listening devices, i began sleeping in a closet because i thought there was a creature in our yard that would pursue me until it killed me if it saw me through the windows even once. I eventually saw the creature lurking around and was hysterical. My school counselor finally forced my family to put me in therapy because a friend saw the cuts on my hips / stomach by mistake. The therapist diagnosed me with manic depression, severe anxiety, and schizophrenia (which both of my parents had.) I have been seeing psychs and on meds ever since. I am 25 now. The psychiatrist did not magically bestow mental illness on me. My family did not want me to be mentally ill. I just am. I wish i wasnt, i wish i had a normal childhood and a normal brain, but i dont. People who genuinely believe therapy is harmful scare the shit out of me because i fear they have something to hide.

One of the worrying things about this book is how it might affect parents' decisions and when their kids might need therapy , they probably wouldn't let them have it

Yeah, the three years of therapy I did totally arrested my growth. If only I still had issues leaving the house due to crippling social anxiety, regularly thought about ******* myself, had a horrible relationship with my family, no friends, no job and self esteem low enough I'd have to start digging to find it. Therapy sure did me dirty.

I appreciated your invitation to thought regarding spanking. I absolutely love that we have, as a society, changed our perspective on interpersonal violence, since my childhood. I was not spanked. But I grew up fighting with other boys and having these fights fully accepted by the adults in my life, at school and at home. There was a time when I genuinely "knew" that some words are fighting words, and there are times when you are "asking to get hit" if you say certain things to people. Again. This was the norm. Now, there is a _very_ low tolerance for almost any level of interpersonal violence, and I think that's fantastic.

Actually the problem is the way we live our lives. School to career to the 9-5 and white picket fence. Psychologists just act as a buffer to make people somehow OK with this

I'm so glad I found this video / channel. Its incredibly thorough. I've been in therapy for many years now (ADD & cPTSD). I was also working in social services a few years back. I had to intervene in my nephew's home life in 2019, when he turned 13 and started self-harming. After a year of my interventions, trying to determine what the problems were at home, my nephew became radically more ill, as a result of the abuse he was receiving from his parents. Hearing this video, so thoroughly define and defend the work psychologists, sociologists and educators do... is a huge relief for me. Thank you for this video.

I haven't watched the full video yet, but I will say from my own experience of seeing therapists for over ten years not all of them are qualified, some do think they "know' better than the client, and cause more harm than good.

the book should be called “I dont want kids to be less miserable than I was”

13:08 “Chronic illness mental or physical is to a large extent a function or feature of the way things are and not a glitch - our social and economic culture generates chronic stressors that undermine well being in the most serious ways” - Gabor Mate

if i had a nickel for every time abigail shrier released a book on a subject she has absolutely zero qualifications in, filled to the brim with manipulations of the truth, dodgy research, abuse apologia, and outright lies, all to fearmonger about some horrifing threat coming for your children in order to justify treating children like objects instead of people in order to "protect" them, i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

I appreciate that this video was longer. You took the time to break things down in a well organized manner and were also obviously being as open and fair as possible w a book like this.

Thanks for this review. I recently stumbled over an hour+ long interview with this person about the concept in her book. I was interested as I have been in treatment for over a year at tremendous cost with little to no positive results as yet. I kind of wanted her to be correct. Yet I had to tap out after about 15 minutes. She was very clearly to me; an ignorant, entitled mean spirited person stating opinion as fact with no sources. While frequently contradicting her own points and criticisms. This video review of her book was rational and at no point did I feel tempted to quit in disgust. Thanks again.

"What [...] stuff are you putting in my child's head?" I had to stop and do a mental double-take at this line from the "totally fine" parent in the skit at the end of the summary section. I think you've captured the fundamental divide perfectly with this statement: the belief that people develop thoughts and beliefs and personalities by making sense of their experiences on the one hand, and the belief that those things can only come into a person because some being put them there on the other.

I watched an interview between Abigail Shrier and Manson just yesterday. Imo- there were Inconsistencies galore, biases galore, opinionated, regressive, repressive …I could go on. I had to get my husband to watch it with me to ensure that I wasn’t being overly judgmental. He is pretty laid back and by the end- he was apoplectic! We are both mental health professionals- so we have skin in the game!

Saw this on Rogan and it pulled a cord. This was my response to her on that podcast. 😂 Therapy is the best thing I’ve ever done. It has saved my life and I’ve grown tremendously because of therapy. I have Bipolar II disorder and I will probably be therapy in most, if not all, of my life. I have a good job, eat SUPER healthy, go to the gym five days a week, and run errands. Guess what? I still struggle with depression from Bipolar disorder, current and past trauma, or debilitating anxiety. If you have a good therapist, they will challenge you and make you think in ways you’ve never thought before. Our brains ruminate naturally. Exploring that in therapy and having them intervene helps stop rumination. They are actually trained to help with rumination. Therapy does the complete opposite of encouraging rumination. I kept ruminating on an event and even kept having nightmares. After two sessions, the rumination and nightmares came to a stop. They will give you psychoeducation on trauma, relationships, and mental illness. I am 28, and I am around people my age who don’t know what a healthy relationship is or won’t acknowledge they are repeating their childhood trauma because they are blind to it. I was, too, until therapy. Most people grow up in dysfunctional families and wouldn’t know a healthy relationship or healthy communication if it hit them in the face. I am very self-educated in psychology through years of my reading and therapy. It’s wild this author is just here talking to talk without knowing anything about therapy, how it works, trauma, or psychology. She’s just spewing nonsense. I can name tons of books from Ph. D.s and psychologists with master's degrees that I’ve read. There’s a reason therapists need master's degrees and Ph. D.s. It isn’t all just common sense or something some people can push through, at least not healthily. They have fMRIs that essentially prove that therapy changes the brain. It rewires our neural pathways. Listen to Huberman, a neuroscientist who is educated on the subject. The people who don’t go are the ones who need it the most, I’ve noticed. The people in my life who won’t go to therapy have the most toxic behaviors, maladaptive coping skills, and don’t know what it takes to have a healthy relationship. This low-key set me off as it’s spewing nonsense and putting stigma back out there for therapy and is false information. She also acts like it’s the therapist's job to tell someone what to do, which is ethically wrong for therapists to practice for a good reason. No one can tell you what’s best for you. They ask you questions and guide you to come to your own conclusions and what’s best for you. If you want to read about resilience, read Supernormal. Yes, trauma is a part of life. It’s why therapists and the field of psychology exist to begin with, to help ease our suffering and cultivate better and healthier coping skills and relationships. Another good book, Body Keeps the Score, literally has brain scans that prove our brains can't just “get over” trauma to counteract that point made of just getting over it. When she gives that example of returning to school and calling it a bad memory, it isn’t that, it is a flashback look at an fMRI. The brain will show what it did as if the trauma were actively happening. We learn these things so we can better help ourselves and treat others. Just because we can say “get over it”, doesn’t mean we should. Just because we have our hands doesn’t mean we don’t use tools. Same goes for therapy, just because we have our brain doesn’t mean we can’t use tools to help ourselves make our lives better and easier. Just because we all have hands doesn’t mean some don’t get arthritis. Same with our brains. Just because we all have tramua doesn’t mean some don’t get mental illness as a result. The point is, just because we all have tramua doesn’t mean some don’t need treatment. It’s why we invent things like tools. As we keep learning about psychology and our brains the more we are learning the way we used to do things isn’t good and there are better ways to go about it instead of just ignoring our trauma and pushing things down. This whole conversation is essentially against using a tool that lessons our suffering, and progresses and educates us.

I feel horrible for this woman’s children

not exactly shocking that the woman who wrote a fearmongering book about trans people also wrote a fearmongering book about therapy. its like she only sees children as a direct extension of their parents and not as human people with their own thoughts feelings and experiences

Therapy is effective if and only if the patient is willing for therapy to work and if the patient is being honest with the therapist. Therapy is a good thing if you think you need it.

Thanks for the really thoughtful analysis! I studied child psych (switched to social psych) and worked with kids for 14 years, and the types of assertions Shrier makes about therapists are exactly the same as the ones the elders of yesteryear made about parents. ADHD -> “let your kid be a kid.” “My parents smacked me and I turned out okay.” “She’s not depressed, she just needs to stop acting like a victim.” etc. I think that when there are grains of truth in a premise, it makes a false conclusion even more dangerous. I hope I don’t start talking like that in 20 years 😭😂

I think it’s weird when people see a bad thing in something going on and say this should just not exist. Like shouldn’t we improve something that looks like it can help?

Sometimes you go to therapy because of your own problems. Sometimes you go to therapy because someone in your life refuses to go to therapy.

Kids are not growing up because of their emotionally absent or abusive parents.

i appreciate this video. i actually just did a speech in my communications class about how everyone can benefit from therapy, and it was nice to see that we actually used some of the same points sources! very relieving as i’m also pursuing a doctorate!!! keep up the great work!:)

Dr Ana I love your content so much, its helped me be a better friend, boyfriend, and confidant - especially when you distill things into a formula that can be remembered or even screenshotted for reference. You're so easy to listen to yet i always learn so many new things. About this video specifically, I'm so glad this long one came out on my day off. It's such a good overview of the importance of mental healthcare and touched on different things i didnt even expect. The specific harms of repressive coping strategies stuck with me a lot. The parent/teacher skit was funny too, it was so good.

is she under the impression that everyone in gen z grew up going to therapy??

Given her awful viewpoints and research displayed in "Irreversible Damage", i am not surprised. If you want a deep dive on that book, Cass Eris has a multihour long series breaking it down chapter by chapter covering and critiquing the book

I feel like Abigail really wanted to hit her kids but isn’t allowed so she wrote this book to vent lol jk

Thank you for your hard work, Ana. It truly amazes me how much content you publish for free! Your paid content is also incredibely valuable and you really deserve to charge money for the work you do for all of us!

I think the answer is therpay works for some and not others, and i think whats also equally important is actually recognizing how to properly utilize therapy, and that theres other therapies not just talk about feelings therapy.

i dont understand why so many people say things like 'trauma isnt real its all in your head!' like... yes? it is a mental issue, it does occur in your head. its not something you can physically hold why does that suddenly make it invalid?

Regarding the issue of power imbalance between a therapist and child, I think you’re probably projecting your own (good) intentions onto any given therapist, whereas Shrier’s main anxiety seems to be a therapist with ideological motivations in that power role

Found this video after listening to the author on Mark Manson's podcast. I was onboard with Abigail for maybe the first couple of topics of discussion. ie. self diagnosis, and language used matters. Then it got weirdly venty. All this to say, thanks for the video.

I have to admit that I almost forgot the premise of this video is ultimately about children, and had an almost kneejerk reaction to your comments on self-diagnoses. Honestly, I would like to hear your opinions on adult self-diagnosis and how likely one would actually seek help without having an idea of what's going on internally.

This book gives me an interesting insight into how the author is seeing the world and how it interacts in her opinion with children in the context of her earlier book. It makes me a little less stressed knowing that her takes on transgender ppl are very harmful but that there is a deeper issue behind it with the conspiracy theory like distrust she has. Maybe it was never about us (trans ppl) in a way

Despite doing it just through your KZfaq channel, I appreciate you so much as a professional Ana! Your debunking in this video was flawless, how gracefully you picked up all the fallacies, your thoughts are always spoken with such balance and consideration, and the occasional sass just adds so much to it! I particularly liked how you brought up again emotion regulation in correlation with the bizarre content of this book... That kinda became a polar star to me, whenever I feel too caught up in my emotions and reactions. Thank you for the effort of recording such a long video!

I'm not entirely sure these complainers have ever been to proper therapy.

I freaking shuttered when I heard that name I didn’t know she wrote more than one book

Bruh that's craazyyy she thinks being emotionally aware is problematic 😅 That alone tells me all I need to know about this author 🤦‍♂️

I am delighted to watch your long videos. Honestly, I loved hearing your smug humor come through when you listed study after study that contradicted her book points. It gave me a laugh. Though I enjoy your purely informative content, it is always a treat to see your own personality and humor shine through (when appropriate and reasonable). As a senior almost done with my bachelor's, your videos are wonderful content to consume during my work day instead of music. Thank you for making learning so accessible and entertaining. I aim to become as well-spoken as yourself in the future.

(here from twitter!) wanted to make a comment because im in law school, and we always talk about “the learned hand formula” which is: the BURDEN of precaution (B) should be less than the product of the probability (P) multiplied by the magnitude (L) of harm. I say all that to agree with you that Abagail makes NO SENSE in characterizing negative reactions to therapy as unnecessary (i.e. identifying traumas, verbalizing discomfort, more sensitivities) when it’s a burden necessary that reduce the risk of emotional turmoil?! i can acknowledge that maybe therapy genuinely isn’t her jam, but people are not “less than” just because they benefit from the techniques and strategies introduced by therapy. i feel like there’s often (with misinformed people) a quickness to completely reject ideas (because they don’t believe them) rather than hearing people out (which is funny cause kinda what she wants us to do since she’s writing a book 😏).

Amazing video! Even though I have adhd, you kept my attention the entire time. Loved your little acting-plays in between. Very good info overall. Again, great video!

From my personal observations, I think therapy has important benefits, but I think there are real issues in our current society with it being viewed as a panacea or something that everyone should do (or even needs to do).

A book for abusers, by an abuser.

Im glad you immediately mentioned the other book she wrote so that i can already know pretty much how its gonna go down...

Abigail is clearly a controlling mother who biggest fear is her child becoming a person of their own. And instead of dealing with that feeling she rather focus on making the therapists a bad guys.

Great dissection of the book, you're on fire. I literally laughed out loud at 33:30 🤣

Thank you so much for all the work you do and your analysis in this video also. It is incredibly thought provoking and honest.

Therapy is not bad in itself, but using therapy to compensate for diminishing quality of life will not work for most people.

the entire book comes across like her child cut her off for being abusive and she's decided to blame therapy. which makes sense, because her other book comes across like her child came out and she decided to blame the trans community.

I knew i recognized that name somewhere! When you pointed out her previous "work" i gagged. She has no idea what shes talking about lol

26:15 the therapist says, "when i see this pattern of behaviors or signs, i recommend to primary care for evaluation for meds. Youll have to follow up with pediatrician." Pediatrician says, "i dont do counseling. I follow the recommendations of the counselor. I typically prescribe what the psychiatrist would prescribe. I dont really know as much about how the meds work. Youll have to take this up with the counselor." Under furhter questions, pediatrician admits shes only seen a handful of these kids go off these temporary meds.

As soon as you said she was a lawyer, it all made sense of her "concerns." They attract a type, for sure. I'm sure there's a class and generational distinction that informs her worldview, as well.

Black and white thinking seems to be a recurring theme for people who try to pose as an authority outside their realm of expertise

Your research is admirable! Wide-perspectiveness and straight to the point A big thank you for putting in the work and making those videos!

I love your videos. you are so smart, articulated, and have a great sense of humor. I really appreciate everytime you post!!

Excellent video. It’s so easy for people to approach industries/fields of study they themselves are not a part of and make black & white assumptions about that topic, meanwhile ignoring or intentionally misrepresenting what experts actually have to say on the subject. ESPECIALLY when it comes to parenting and child psychology. I appreciate how you approached this very honestly and professionally. just subscribed. Keep up the good work!

It’s very interesting how Anna is really proving how invalid this authors arguments by not only using her background on psychology and academic credentials, but an application of reason as well to not only invalid but also inform what the real science and psychology is. This is a very different video

LMAO, I always predicted that Abigail Shrier would inevitably pen another hysterical screed about once-angelic children being warped into selfish, broken, benighted ingrates by some other aspect of the evil culture. (But, I always joked that the next book would be about college selection, so I suppose I lose that part of the bet.)

Thank you for making this video. I think what you said about the book "needing a scapegoat" makes a lot of sense because, to me, the theme of it seems to be more about *why* younger people today are worse off mentally, not why modern therapy is the cause. Like you pointed out, there is a lot of pathologizing, and as someone who has been to a handful of therapists throughout different stages in my life, I can say in many less words that there was no benefit to reveling in the things about my day-to-day that were lacking or actively causing stress. But, that is just my anecdotal experience and I think there is something to be said about an individual being READY to receive help. Otherwise you're just sitting in the room going over your week, feeling the relief of venting but the discomfort of continuing to stagnate.

Fantastic video! It helped me reflect on my own history with therapy. I had to go through several to find a good one. Some of the things you pointed out about what good therapists do made me think about the ones I wasn't fully happy with, and I realize that perhaps they didn't do those things. For instance, having a therapist that was too passive and made me do all the work. I'm also an immigrant child, and I felt very validated when you were discussing that point. The unique challenges that came with it were difficult for me to work through, so thank you for bringing that up.

As a (retired) NHS high intensity therapist with an MSc in CBT, I must correct you regarding CBT 'pushing' patients into disclosing their trauma event.This is untrue, I used Cognitive Processing therapy,expsoure therapy, and narrative therapy, and these protocols never did this. What you stated would be therapeutically counterproductive. Yes, avoidance is a barrier to recovery. But through collaboration and utilising socratic questioning, etc, the patient gradually makes sense of their traumatic event. What you are referring to, I think, is flooding. Which is antiquated and debunked

The parents don't trust the therapists. The therapists don't trust the parents.

This is such an amazing video. Very informative. I already listen to it about two times. Probably gonna listen to it more. Thank you very much for kinda of content like this✌️👍

33:18 I’m not sure I think they should be able to access their child’s book specifically. That said, that’s not how I interpreted what she said. I took that as, “I’d like to see a copy of this book, in general” like a blank version so I can see what kind of questions it’s asking. - if that’s the case, I wouldn’t see any harm in what she’s doing. - if she was, in fact, asking to see their child’s writing inside that book, yes i think that could be problematic

I really appreciated listening to this. Thank you very much for the video and your thoughts on the book/author.