This woman is way more open minded than most African mothers

According to most African parents anxiety and depression are just pure ‘stupidity & laziness’ *smh*

I think broken people raise broken children unintentionally. I think people do their best with the tools they are given at the time.

Mom was very articulate. Lucky girl to have such a caring and receptive mom.

The mum isn’t perfect by far but I really feel like she tried.

african parents are known to sweep things under the rug and never address the elephant in the room. Rather they would pray it away or simply not listen. They hear what you say but dont listen, it is just our culture. But the thing i s our african parents have been through soooo much and its hard to expresss those things. The tip I would give to dami, is to be open. Nothing grows in a dark place

Parents barely ever realize the importance of the impact they can have on their children’s lives.

I relate to an extent with this African culture where sometimes they don’t really understand about mental health well..... they just brush it off like it’s a flu

Seriously, this is spot on perspective... it’s the same in afro carribean families too

The idea that her African mum entertained this is a new beginning!!!

She pushes her mom away and then complains about her not listening.

Her mum is awesome, absolute legend, but I can see how it's also negative for someone with anxiety. The constant bright attitude and jovial outlook can be difficult to want to open up to for talking about mental health etc.

From seeing this seems like the daughter's one with the communication issue, in the market her mom gave her so many opportunities to express the way she felt and she shut it down so quickly

Sometimes a third person provides a fresh pair of eyes.

There are a million people who would love their mother to be this understanding! I pray she appreciates her mother ASAP..

She's so lucky to have a mother like this. She's very open to learning and listening.x

I dont think the daughter knows what kind of a gem she has in her mother. That woman is gold. Her approach, comprehension and efforts alone are worthy of praise. And I commend the daughter for taking a stab at being vulnerable, letting her mom in and recognizing her mothers efforts as well as her accomplishments throughout. This mother daughter duo are in it to win it👊🏾

Wow, I wish my mom was this understanding. Arinola is a nigerian mom that comes a dime a dozen. Most just yell and bulldoze over you with their opinions and "culture".

The issue is that before she was born, her mum had already decided how she was going to love her child based on her own negative experiences. Her mum isn't being flexible in her approach or taking into consideration her daughters personality or her own love language. That's why her mum feels rejected when she requests space.

Must be nice to have a mum that hugs you, talks to you and is open minded 😒 i feel like im living with a stranger, my mum does not talk to me at all, my anxiety/ depression is so bad and she does not care. She doesn’t believe in mental health, hate how (most) black parents sweep shit under the rug...they arnt aware that it’s extremely damaging.

She does not know how blessed she is to have a mom that's willing to listen and change... If I couldve had a mom who listened, hugged me and assured me that she's there.. I would be so happy😞

I want a mum like her. So lovely 💔💔

No one is perfect. As children we expect our parents to be perfect and understand us but they can't. Her mum clearly loves her and not alot of people have that kind of parental love. Watching this has made me realise how selfish we as kids can be constantly wanting parents to under stand us. But Do we take the same time to ask how our parents are feeling if they're okay.

Dammy, you have a wonderful mother. Good luck...

I am an African Australian so this is relatable , and I watched half of this and I couldn’t anymore because I could feel the pain in the mothers interaction . Our parents will only give us what they have, and we build on that. African parents have struggled , they have come into a new environment with children and still have goals of their own, to make matters word most African parents grew up with their own parents who were emotionally distant. Asking them to be more than what thy are is asking an empty can to produce water. But we are the generation to recognise the toxicity and make the changes we need with our children , after all we are not in struggle mode like our parents who left Africa with not much. They may see our struggles as not big because they have gone through hell fire. I can certainly relate to the daughters pain on a very personal level as everything that happened to her , just about happened/ happens to me. But I got a job at 19 , I moved out of the house and I am deciding what I need for myself , my parents choices hold nothing over me. I got counselling for myself and I broke the chains of toxic thinking. At 26 I am very excited to have my own little family that I can grow into well adjusted adults.

shes so lucky to have such an amazing mother.

Her mom just loves her- she's lucky....she'll miss her when she's no longer around.

Crying is so important.

Sorry, the daughter is irritating the ish out of me. She is coming off as a brat to me.

Neither of them are perfect, obviously, but both Dammy and her mother are lovely people. I hope they can workout their issues and become closer. Not everyone is lucky to have such a loving mother or such a loving daughter.

I think this is the reason a lot of children don’t want to confide in their parents because of the fear of making their parents sad. My daughter said this to me once...I was shocked...we need to open the lines of communication with our children so we don’t raise damaged adults. Worst of all the African culture is not helping where they don’t acknowledge mental health and the like...I grew up in an African household where we were not encouraged to show emotion...hugging was not the norm ....that’s why I have changed that with the next generation but I suffered from anxiety...low self esteem etc.

She is very lucky to have a mother like her

No doubt the daughter has legitimate issues such as anxiety. Her mum might be over protective however all those things do not excuse the daughters bratty ungrateful behaviour. This behaviour of pushing those who care about you away usually stems from the person's self-hate. She's uncomfortable in her own skin and can not love herself, therefore she can't even bare anyone hugging her or loving her. She needs self reflection

I'm 21 and my mother also still sees me as a child :/ And mental health is taboo for us..

Watching this just made me appreciate my mum more than I ever did. Dami has anxiety but even when going through something, there is a tone that you use to speak to your mother. I am also Nigerian and watching this made me see how I sometimes behave and how it has made my mum feel as though she has to walk on egg-shells. That becomes uncomfortable for me and my mother. Chances are that she expresses this to her mother because she knows she can or because her mum will be more receptive of whatever she is going to say. Imagine trying to love someone who always pushes you away and once you have your space, they need you close again - that is extremely tough. No one considers the mental health of their parents either, we all dismiss it because we 'think' they do not believe in it. Some Nigerian parents don't, but in the case of Dami's mum, she does. I think it is important to be vulnerable and open up without being passive aggressive or opening up with the mindset of 'she won't get what I am saying' as it defeats the purpose of speaking in the first place, only come to your mother when you know you are ready. I had to express everything to my mum without having the fear that I am supposed to always make her smile. When we sat down and had a chat, I found out that we were more similar than I ever thought we were. Life is tough, and the person I have who listens is my mother. I have come to realize that if you cannot be vulnerable with your mother relationships, whether romantically or just with friends, will be hard to keep as they will also get a taste of what your mum feels with you and they do not have to stay. I think as the children, we tend to forget that our parents do it all out of love, they are not obligated to do anything. But for Dami, it is a blessing to her and these steps are positive. I wished we could hear more of what the mum was going through though as that would have opened people's minds a bit more.

Dammy's mum handles the situation well. Most African parents would never apologize to their children. My advice for Dammy is to cherish this woman. Your mum is not perfect, but she's trying to be there. I felt like there was a bottled up pain in Dammy than what was expressed during the interview. That has to be addressed over a period of time so the anxiety could go away completely.

I blame my parents for my anxiety too ..

The mom is so sweet💕

The mum is amazing. God bless her

well, at least shes not anxious about being plastered on the internet forever

She is so lucky she has a mom,especially one like this. I didn’t have that.

Wow, her mum is amazing 👏🏿

The market scene is so bad. She pushes her mum away, shuts off, is rude and yet, complains about her mum not listening to her.

I just want her mum. She's so blessed to have such a mother. Honestly if I has her mum... I would literally spoil her with love and she would never have to do anything.

I love Damny and her Mom! Thank You Damny for sharing your struggles with anxiety. I struggle with it as well. I teared up when her Mom said I don't want you to feel like my feelings are your responsibility, my Mother is mentally ill and I have always been responsible for her and her feelings.

wow, the therapist was very helpful. I don't understand the comments saying that just because the woman is a different race that she won't understand a black family. She helped finding common ground so that her daughter can relate to the mother better. There are so many other races with similar cultures or have had their parents struggle in another country. It's not special.

My dad's response to my mental health was "just don't think about it"

As a second generation immigrant, i can totally relate to this. It's a lifetime of work.

When I clicked on this video I really expected a standoffish mother and a really anxious child....this video is like the complete opposite. I dunno. That’s not to say that things may be different behind closed doors, but I grew up with a parent that would rarely talk to me and would physically abuse me. And she’s mad because her mom hugs her? I can count on one hand the amount of times I hugged my mom my entire life....I had real anxiety-like you could see my anxiety, I would shake, my eyes would dart around everywhere..I’m just not seeing that in this interaction...

She will have her own children and only then will she be able to understand her mother’s perspective.

“My baby can cook ooooo” 😂😂😂😂😂😂 ah you gotta love African parents!

At least your mom calls you baby, for some of us it's do this and that, what they want and not what we want. Be a doctor, be a lawyer or engineer, have high grades never fail, if you fail why did you fail we can not afford failures in this family it's all a struggle at the end of the day. Anger, pain, tears, insults, fear and anxiety are all these mixed feelings we have and end up bottling them up because nobody will listen to you!

Perhaps the mum is overbearing, and is living vicariously through the daughter, being to the fact, she didn’t have a fulfilled life as a youngster. Also the daughter is a grown woman now, and wants her mum to treat her as such. Having said that, she is a lovable and adorable mum. A mum that most kids yearns for. If the daughter doesn’t want her, I will have her, because all I see in this woman is love and passion, and is trying to appease her daughter. I sincerely hope they will make a break through, and start accepting and enjoying each other without qualms!!!!!!

Her mother is so lovingly open to change. I hope she understands just how much her mother loves and wants to help and be there for her.

Love that Dammy's mom is really learning to see her child as an adult and adjustingt her behavior. And I love the fact that Dammy is expressing herself audibly so that her mother can hear her. It really refreshing to see two people who love each out work out their differences.

I suggest you give as much time to your parents as you can. I lost my mum at 19 and wish I could spend every moment in time with her. I miss my babe.

I love that they were both open to therapy!!! When the mum offered a hug at therapy session, that warmed my heart.

Blame serves no purpose. One must be strong and build a life. One must forgive, as people do the best they know how with whatever resources they have. My dad couldn't deal with talking things through. My mom abandoned us. My dad also. Divorce, foster care (3 kids in different homes) . I at 62, am the lone survivor. I know how to manage on less. I have health issues-chronic pain n mobility. My mom tried to kill herself n take her kids with her, in her car....at least twice. We told no one. I was molested by my cousin and his friends. I wanted a lock on my door....but my mom didn't catch my meaning. I have suffered all my life. I did my utmost in all situations. Grow up. Forgive. Move on. Build a decent life for yourself. Get an education if possible...to gain a decent job...something you love!!!! You are not alone. Many of us came from divorce, especially when it was scandalous in the 60s. It may be helpful and healing to keep a journal and write out your thoughts, feelings, ideas, etc. It is a form of therapy. Best of luck to you from snowy Canada!!!! 🍁

My parents are deceased , but if I had a chance to be with either of them again,I would not leave their sight for whatever reason...sometimes we don't know what we have ,until it's gone ..my parents were the "typical strict " African parents ,but they loved us (their kids )to the end ...I wouldn't change anything about them xx dammy's mom seems like an amazing wonderful lady who just wants to make sure her daughter has it all ..bless her ❤️🤗

Blessed to have such a wonderful mother 💕

Thank you ssoooo much for creating content like this! It’s is a big help to have a good example of an open dialogue on mental health. Much love XX

That mom just adores her child you can tell by her actions, the way she speaks, her tranquil tone of voice. She is doing everything in her power to make her daughter feel comfortable even if that means to withhold from the things she enjoys doing, i.e. Expressing affection. This young lady should cherish every bit of the gentleness and affection her mom brings not everyone has that.

What a cool mother.

At least her mum tells her she loves her... my mom is Jamaican and she doesn’t express her feelings towards me unless she’s pissed off...

Amazingly done BBC 3, you are always spot on!

As someone that has anxiety and is from an African family, is totally understand where she is coming from this is deeper then what you see African parents. don't understand anxiety and depression it's a joke to them because of what they have come from.

This video made me cry because it made me think about what I go through.

I loved this. They both seem like beautiful people. Clearly they love each other. I am 45years old and still have to redefine the boundaries with my Mom. I would never, never trade her for the world. Mothers and Daughters always a work in progress....Keep working Ladies, you'll get there.

This girl is something else. She sounds selfish and lacks of empathy. The mother is over apologising for stuff that I don’t even understand. IComments such as “I don’t want to talk about it now, I don’t like sharing my food, That hug was too lo long”...Sound like she’s a difficult person. Her mom isn’t her problem. She’s the problem.

I love them as a family. They have a wonderful relationship, her mom took a big step for her and is surprisingly open. I wish them the best.

To me, the daughter came off as rude and the mother very loving. The daughter spoke to the therapist with more respect then how she spoke to her mother. I understand people wanting to be treated as adults but I am also big on respect.

it's good to hear people share their stories! i can completely relate

This was a wonderful episode. I hope there’s more of this. Especially from African families.

This was amazing! I love her mum and how open she is. This encourages me to work on my own relationships with my mom and daughter.

*As an African myself I have to say that... Dammy you're blessed. Your mom is amazing, strong and incredibly understanding... Cherish her girl, she's got your back.* 💛

Why is she blaming everything on her parents tho ffs?

I LOVE how her mom is open and receptive to acknowledging her daughter's feelings, and giving her space to be who she is. Oftentimes in the Carribbean culture there is this unwritten rule that "children are meant to be seen and not heard". That type of dynamic can create generational tension between parents and their children.

This rings so true. When I was younger it was so hard to communicate with my mum about serious issue(there’s certain family matters I don’t even try to touch on) she so much better now, especially since she’s become a grandmother to my niece. The tough thing about some African parents is they sweep things under the carpet and pray it away (this is even more true now I’m a teacher and deal with parents who REFUSE to believe their children have special Ed needs) BUT at the same time they can be so BRUTALLY HONEST about certain things and are fine to discuss if you’ve put on weight or not married.

Her mum is a G and this girl has a problem, she only sees things from one side. But needs to remember that other people also have feelings and emotions but communication is essential. I personally don't feel like she has great communication skills or hold herself accountable for her lack of communication because she just walks away

I had an honest brutal talk about my mental issues, my parents shot at me back saying its all my faults and i just deserve to be miserable because of all my decision and everything. My bro told me on my face that i am bad and mad woman. Its difficult to fight back during melt down because the voices is so loud even when i am fine.

So her mother gave her anxiety by being a lovely supportive parent?

Omg this is so sad I hope they do a follow up so we can see if they are doing better now . All the best to the family

She’s so spoilt, the mom is lovely!

Oh this mum makes me heart warm, she’s so sweet xx

This mom is doing a good job honestly compare to other African parents

Her mother is so sweet

I wish you all the best girl, I understand, glad you went to therapy!! ....I’ve had anxiety my whole life and despite career success I still fear basic conversations with people ... I wish I was a people person but I tend to isolate myself on weekends ... been therapy but only sometimes

Bbc3 is always coming through with such important concepts!!! I really want my sis and mum to watch this. I see a lot of parallels

Beautiful. I need this level of honesty with my own mother.

aww the mum is really open & i liked the therapist too

I don't know I feel like most of the comments don't understand the culture, African parents Asian parents and so on aren't like your typical white European parents, they are over protective, you would be 30 married with kids and in their eyes you would still be a child while on the other hand in the white European culture it's different you turn 16 or 18 atleast and they see you fit to take care of yourself and what not. These cultures are strong family oriented and sometimes their love comes out as toxicating but I feel as well we the children should appreciate their love and their concerns and manage to stand up on our own feet

Well done ladies. Thank you for sharing

I think I might need a family therapist but things are okay so I’ll give them space. I’m Ghanaian and my parents are doing the same thing. They don’t listen to me when I speak to them about my anxiety, sadness, depression. This makes me feel alone and unloved. At the end of the day, they will have different experiences.

This is such a great film, immigrant parents IMO are v quick to deny and not acknowledge the issues at times x

Dammy seem like she acts like a child but, wants to be treated like a grown up. She has two parents that love her, hopefully therapy will help her.

She literally shuts her mum out.. wtf

OMG This girl needs to appreciate having a mother who is always ready to hug you

this girl is annoying me. I grew up without my mother, this woman is amazing.

She's understanding but then the air quotes around anxiety 😂😂 love it

Oh how I feel your pain!