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okay so my best friend and I have a plan to move to a different state together, go to college together, live our whole lives together, and i see him as often as i possibly can. usually making plans with friends makes me anxious but i never feel anxious about seeing him. We used to date, we dated for a year but i broke up with him because i realized i was aromantic. how tf are you supposed to ask your ex boyfriend and your best friend if they want to have a queer platonic relationship with you?

**gestures to the idea of a romantic relationship** This is brilliant. **slaps the top of having a queer-platonic relationship** _But I_ like _this._

It makes me so sad how love is boiled down to romance or to sex by allos. Like, we know the hets are not doing ok in either of those respects, some queer ppl are left by friends or family, aros not having someone romantic and still loving so many people can sometimes seem like the less 'cold' side of that, and still get called heartless by allos. Regardless of where you are on that journey, this comment is sent with love.

Aromantic people are so cool like look at them

Aromanticism is the one thing about my sexuality that I’ve tried to deny when I started thinking about. I was fine not conforming to a gender, I was fine being panromantic and asexual, but aromanticism was something that I think scared me. I still don’t know if I actually feel love or if it’s just aesthetic attraction, but it’s the one thing I feel in denial about because for the longest time I felt like my purpose was to love and be loved.

8:25 she told me that every psychological study published after 1990 was fabricated in the name of “political correctness.” also, she had a weird obsession with freudian stuff and kept trying to figure out why I was “feeling gay” (I had come out to her as a bi trans guy), and blamed my bad relationship with my mom (which only really got bad after my mom went through my phone and found out I’m trans). also, when I mentioned liking Dungeons and Dragons, she casually asked if I was into “any other satanic stuff.” she’s better off in a nursing home than her own therapy office. I stopped seeing her in June of 2020.

Just recently discovered I'm Aro and these tiktoks give me life! It took me way too long to realize I was aro because I wanted a close emotional relationship and learning about QPRs helped me to realize that although my feelings and affections are incredibly strong, that doesn't mean theyre romantic, or that a romantic relationship was ever right for me! That one about manifesting crushes was a big mood, except I took it a bit farther and would manifest romantic love in my relationships (which were all started between close friends) by becoming obsessively attatched and co-dependent. So glad that I know who I am now and don't need to follow society's rules for love anymore!

"the only thing that appeals to you about a romantic relationship is se-" Aroace comes innnn ✨✨✨

I was happy with maybe being ace and then 0:09 happened. The just a few crushes and making crushes up to fit in part definitely fits. I still want a relationship tho gosh finding phase is exhausting

I'm convinced my parents are in a queer platonic relationship as they do love each other and do things lovers do, they just don't love each other romantically

So I’m asexual and just watched this for fun like «haha what if I’m aroace?» AS A JOKE… I had a strong crush on someone for a few years so I thought there was NO way… I didn’t realize that I can count the people I’ve been even slightly romantically intrested in on one hand. They were all on and off (monthlong brakes) and I didn’t at any point want to date any of them (okay kinda but not like actually ykwIm?). So I think I’m aroace (greyromantic and asexual)… It all makes so much sense…

Man I’m having second thoughts everytime 😅 I’ve recently come to terms that I am 100% on the Asexual spectrum but Aromantic was something that came up and I had to really do some inner digging… bc little me though I had crushes, at least I think? Like I’d be hyper fixated on them, be all happy when I see them and get the tunnel vision thing & want to be around them (these occasionally happen now 😅) but I never imaged myself romantically, mostly as just very close *[Also, PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME IF ANYONE RELATES]: I do not respond well to people outwardly showing romantic interest in me (like I do everything in my power to make them stop and my methods shouldn’t be followed and I feel really bad but I like, shut down. I act disinterested, and sometimes ignore them if they’re clingy, not to mention I get really anxious just knowing they like me. It doesn’t matter how intense they’re affection is, it still gets anxious just knowing it) I can’t tell if it’s just because I’m insecure of vulnerability, I’m Aromantic, or both 😶 I need help 😭*

This is what made me find out... That i'm aromantic

Okay, if the aro/ace community is willing to help I have questions. My whole journey started when I saw myself as an ally when I was 10, fast forward a few years later I identified as bi, then pan, and learned about asexuality. Pansexuality always felt right to me because people often described as gender blind, and that described me pretty well. But something I feel important to mention. Is the fact that in my whole life I have had two crushes. (Maybe even only one? Idk). And whenever I tell this to someone who is straight OR gay, (especially bi people, y’all are hopeless :{ ) they react with indignation about how I could possibly have ONLY had so few. My friend once told me I couldn’t be pansexual because she showed me one of those guy.exe thirst traps, and I didn’t blink. I actually flinched whenever she tried. Considering all of this it was only about a month ago that I started accepting I am almost certainly on the asexual spectrum. BUT i’m doubting maybe being on the aro spectrum too. Because of The fact that I usually misinterpret romantic attraction and once I get to know a person I realize I don’t actually feel attracted to them romantically, but I always think I do. I’m still quite young, and I’ve heard that you probably shouldn’t decide these things until you’ve turned 18. I don’t know if they’re right, I might just be not ready for it yet. But if anyone could help I’d be super thankful ❤

11:09 also love doesn't define the human experience! The amount of love (of any kind) that you can give does not determine your worth as a human. Loveless aros exist and are just and cool as valid as other aros :)

As an aroflux individual, seeing all the aroflux vids made me so happy

Hi! So this isn't said much, so I'll say it. You don't have to feel romantic attraction infrequently to be greyromantic!!! I'm greyromantic myself and it's kind of 50/50 between feeling a lot of romantic attraction to feeling none. Every greyromantic is different!!!

9:35 I used to think I was bi because I felt the same amount of attraction to all genders but turns out zero times zero is still zero

I lost my sex drive when I went off birth control. I was on birth control from age 14-22. Now I’m 24. I was so into having sexual relationships and dating but never felt romantic. I think the BC pills altered my hormones to making me think I had a high libido. I also know comphet is a thing. I think im aegoromantic because that just feels right. I can’t imagine being in a relationship ever again but I have guilt from comphet. So now im looking up videos like these!

I love this comp, there's not much aro stuff out there so thanks 🙂

6:49 THIS. SO MUCH THIS. then throw probably being touch and/or affection starved in to the mix to further complicate things. do i desperately want a boyfriend cause I'm romantically attracted to men? do i just crave a close/emotionally invested physically affectionate relationship and a romantic one is the most socially accepted form of such relationships and what I've been taught to seek out for that?? am i just cupioromantic??? if only someone knew and could just tell me cause i sure as hell don't! i have been trying to figure out wtf my romantic attraction is for almost a decade now which is probably some indication that I'm on the aromantic spectrum but i just have no fucking clue man. i really wish i was the type of person that could simply pick a label that maybe at least feels close enough if not "right" and be satisfied. really envy the people who can and people that don't even feel the need for specific labels, that sounds so much more relaxing 😣 (edit: reading this over it sounds way more genuinely upset than i am so dw guys, I'm just being dramatic, ignore my metaphorical flailing)

thank youuu I like learning about each spectrum

Is not that I am aromantic, instead, the great majority of people has the illusion of love and will fight for it, just as most people has the illusion of gods and will fight for their god and/or religion. In other words, I'm not a crazy man in a sane world, I am a sane man in a crazy world.

5:19 YES. THIS!! I understand why people give a textbook definition of a sexuality in order to make it easy to understand but i love so much when people give a more detailed breakdown of the different ways that people experience that sexuality!!

When you like the sapphic label and want a partner but don't want sex, however you want all the other relationship stuff. Except you also are questioning your gender so you still might not be sapphic because you could be a straight guy but you don't like that label. But you still don't know your sexuality in the first place, so you might be bi or pan.

OMFG i love the song "we fell in love in October" but I feel so dysphoric because I'm aro

2:18 I just realized that my parents may or may not as well have a queer platonic relationship. Because like, they don't even kiss anymore. They're just,, staying in the same room, nothing else. Making plans together, whatever. Just, seems like they don't actually have the love for each other, and I thought that they were, secretly divorced, just didn't love each other anymore, I was wondering why they weren't kissing anymore. But it just cracked a new possiblity for me. I'm too afraid to ask why, exactly... But I'm happy that there's a possibility that they never love loved each other (yes, I meant to write love loved)

the numbered list at the beginning made me internally scream YES IT IS A CALLOUT LMAOOOO godddd it makes too much sense. now i DEFINITELY know i am aromantic. i've felt weird about it because i've used it for ages and now it makes WAY too much sense. i feel alright.

I've been dealing DEEP into aro vids the last few days I realized a while ago, that most of my crushes were either artificial or closer to a squish (the queer platonic version of a crush) and of all my "crushes" I've had maybe 2 or 3 "real" romantic interest crushes So ya, I found the label aroflux before I realized I could have queerplatonic attraction, so it's because of that I've now realized that I've been conflating the 2 into 1 thing, meaning now I've no idea what my romantic label is now after flipping between bi & pan for like 2 years before I found Omni. I at least used to identify as Omniromantic but looking back now that might be more for queerplatonic attraction rather than romantic attraction, so I could be Omniromantic and just heavily prefer men and non-binary people or I could be Uranic or something else- But to at least have something for the meantime while I figure that out, I'm toric, meaning I'm nonbinary and experience attraction to men & nonbinary ppl exclusively or not sooo yaaaaaay (its essentially achilian but the nonbinary version, the nblw version is Trixic) TLDR: I'm transmasc (genderfaun) & have no idea about my romantic attraction labels & aromantic labels after finding out I expirience queerplatonic attraction ;]

so the way I figured out I was aroace was really funny- I knew I was ace earlier on and I was searching for representation in books, read ‘let’s talk about love’ hoping to resonate with the biromantic ace main character but I was hella disappointed because I didn’t relate to the main character or her choices at all. that’s how I found out I don’t think like alloace people

People who make these sorta videos are GOD'S I LOVE YALL THANK YOU

ok so i think im aro cause the only part of a romantic relationship that i want is the platonic close good friends bit (literally just a qpr or even just bffs) susndhsjdnaksms and i feel the same way ab my crushes as i do ab my friends lmao literally every crush ive ever had turned out to be platonic attraction lmao

I was hella confused until I saw grayromantics may feel WEAKER ROMANTIC FEELINGS than most people I identified with that strongly and hardly ever see people describe it that way :')

omg I don’t think I had ever seen an only-aro tiktok comp thank you so much for this!!!!

thank you ellabella for blessing us with another amazing video and helping people discover themselves through your videos

I'm Demisexual, Demiromantic, and demigender, and my friends call me a demigod.

9:54 this ONE KILLED ME!!!! I was soooo bragging about it too😂😂

The second one called me out beyond belief I swear to god

for when they mentioned lithromantic: STOP SAYING 'DOESNT WANT IT TO BE RECIPROCATED' JUST SAY 'DOESNT DESIRE A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP' ITS HURTING MY PUNY BRAINNNN

Thank you! I'm questioning my romantic identity after having realized that I've been practicing compulsory relationships due to my anxious attachment style and codependent past. I've always been interested in QPRs, but it wasn't until I started practicing healthier boundaries with my current partner and myself, did some heavy meditations using low dose THC with higher amounts of other cannabinoids like CBG CBN and CBD and opened myself emotionally to be able to evaluate my past relationships that I had some dreams that brought this up as a possibility. I think in the past I just wanted companionship and to "fit in" but now I know better than to think that compulsory romantic relationships are the only way I could get that.

8:00 for anyone who wants the translation: Person 1- I love you... Person 2- Someone actually loved me (x3) and I can't feel the same

I discovered I’m on the arospec but prolly one of the more complicated slices of it. I’m platoniromantic, which to make a long explanation short means my ability to tell platonic and romantic attraction apart is kinda nonexistent. I’m unlucky enough to have a particular flavor of this where I kinda feel every relationship I have as being very intense, that is to say, I think my romantic attraction bleeds out and covers the platonic up. Obviously I’m a logical person and can figure out who I’m just friends with and who I’m lovers with. But I definitely wish I could be lovers with every one of my friends.

So I guess should really start acknowledging my aro(spec) side because that 9:12 is a conversation/debate I have with myself on a regular basis. Although I prefer to fly the flag of grey-sexuality instead of demi-sexuality.

Cupio just sounds like me, I like the idea of a romantic relationship but actually going through with it- ehhhhhhhh

0:11 *insert femur breaker scream*

i always thought i had major major commitment issues,,,,but i feel like this waking something in me……

THAT GREY-ROMANTIC DIVERSITY TIKTOK WAS VERY USEFUL, THANK YOU. Y'ALL I FIGURED IT OUT!! I AM GREY-ROMANTIC WEEEEEEEE!!!!

1:37 this tiktok made me happy ngl

I think it's funny how people assume aromantics and asexuals hate being touched and I'm just one of the most touchy mfs out there

0:49 gets me man like I don't have all the rest the lady talks about but the tenth one yes

5:05 this happens all the bloody time and it makes me so upset!!!

10:32 they’re even in the colors of the demisexual flag!

Thought I was lithromantic... now I'm thinking cupioromantic... I'm just gonna keep telling people I'm greyromantic cause it's general enough to be technically correct 😅

30 seconds in and i'm already questioning myself👻 3 minute in: now i relate too well to Cupioromantic, so i'll look into it more later

11:37-11:49 resonated with me😭

Great way to start my day, thanks ellabella! Have a wonderful day/night! And Thank you for making all these amazing videos!

I have crushes, but I relatively recently found out that I only had one crush out of ALL of the crushes I had that was both sexual attraction that later developed genuine romantic attraction while others were mainly sexual attraction and only one was based on emotional attachment. There were times I fantasized romantic scenarios and desired them, but don’t want the crush to begin with or the romantic relationship unless it’s with one particular person. That’s why I relate to Aroflux and greyromantic; I rarely have romantic attraction, despite crushes, but because My crushes are based on sexual attraction or emotional attachment, I struggled with wondering if I really understood what was like to have romantic attraction myself and how to separate it from sexual and emotionally attachment-based attraction. It felt like they were one and the same but at the same time not due to how my body and mind reacts. It’s confusing and I end up misinterpreting my feelings on that matter until I actually looked back on it and remembered why I had the crushes in the first place.

Being a aromantic minor sucks. Especially if you feel sexual attraction (me). Really the only relationship possible to have for an aromantic minor is a platonic one but I have a platonic crush and I suck at speaking up ;-;. But there still are some good parts to it too, like knowing I’m not alone in the feeling of being left out sometimes.

Earlyyyyyyyy :)) love ya vidss

Whenever people “meet someone uwu” and quickly start to date them cause “yolo” and then a few months break up with them I’m just like 😐 how did they not see that would happen. I’ve met so many people who do that and to them it’s normal. Then I figured out they clearly are experiencing something , some kinda brain chemical, other people don’t have the ability to give me. I can’t relate to that experience they have. I can’t relate to having a crush. Closest thing I’ve felt to romantic love was sexual attraction for a friend, I cared about her a lot. But the thought of just meeting someone and seeing how it’ll work out is so weird to me, it’s like gambling with your energy, your time, your sanity. Couldn’t be me, literally ever

I love the fact demiromantic was there :D

I started squeaking excitedly when I saw Robbieeee :D they make me so happy

Finally Cupioromantic! Lots of people don’t know what Cupioromantic is and I’m so happy that there is 1 video with it, I do identify as Cupioromantic myself

I don’t know if it bodes well for me that I’m having a sexuality crisis and I come to TikTok to solve it

11:37 that is the mood. That is exactly the mood.

coming here for comfort after realising i was aro a few days ago and having to break up with my gf haha. that was an intense conversation lol but thank you for the vid, it helps a lot 💚

greyro who leans heavily into the aro side: SAME!

1:32 Sometimes, John Mulaney is the best way to describe things. That’s just life.

ok but why have i gone through 3:37 with every single one of my favorite cartoon characters?

0:09 *feels called out 😆 (I know I’m asexual but I’m afraid to actually be aromantic too..)

0:08 I'm aego aroace, I did this and all my fingers went up and i waved them around aggressively

Yay this stuff is so under represented

So I’m acespike and I’ve never seen a single video about it, could you do a ace spectrum bit focus more on the spectrum part? /nf

6:49 THIS IS ME RN

Me questioning my sexuality: *stress 100000000⁰0000000%*

Eyy this video helped me find the term Lithromantic! Now I understand what I am :) makes me happy.

9:48 is literally me haha

I think I am an aegoromantic pan-oriented aro ace who wants a queerplatonic relationship. And I hate it. For years I said I was only aro ace but now I put this pressure on me to find someone. I will never find someone who's like me. Esepcially in my country.

my kid just came out

I feel the second one

1:05 are you me? Why does every single word ring true? You're me aren't you?

3:38 stopppp nnnoo don’t call me out 😭

8:15 legit me tho, I was just questioning if I was normal or demiromantic /nsrs/g and this confirmed it for me lol cause saaaamme /g

I’m cupioromantic and I love to see it recognized in these vids

The gender envy one is so accurate...

it felt like the second one really called me out

Some are aromantic, and some are aromanian. S-bãneadzã armãnamea!

9:08 This hits to close to home lol.

11:37😅 yeah exactly

3:04 I need that shirt! 3:26 She’s so pretty! 3:40 I felt this one in my bones. 6:51 I’m aroflux and have spent many years mixing up romantic and aesthetic attraction.

I just found out that I am a cupiromatic bisexual!!!

3:38 is the best aro Tiktok I’ve seen

3:38 mmmeeeee most of my life till age 18 haha and still me now sometimes lol

Demiromantic here. I shift more towards Aromantic though, I literally followed around a kid and pretended to like him when I was eight bc I was trying to be normal..

9:41 honestly, yeah i first thought when i was younger that i was panromantic demisexual but at this point im thinking im just aroace or something on the arospec

Not me having an identity crisis cause I have very weak and rare romantic attractions, but really want a romantic relationship-

Ive made up multiple crushes on boys and girls, because i thought that i had to. I thought that i was bi or pan because i had the same amount of attraction to every gender (none). I didn’t even consider it until my childhood friend who is 10 years older than me came out as asexual.

6:54 That could potentially be quoiromantic!

YASSSS THESE ARE MY PEOPLE 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻