Repeatedly, 2020 alone was grounds for divorce.

I CAN'T LMAO

What are you talking about, it repeatedly does-

OH MY GOD THIS-

As an asexual guy, I don’t owe anyone my companionship, plus, I rather be homeless than ever be married or lose my virginity.

Your friend is a true one, you're really lucky to have someone like that close to you!!

when people talk about sex or I see movies with sex in them I tend to get embarrassed or leave the room for a bit. I think I'm ace aro ace I dunno? I just get embarrassed/disgusted? at anything sex-related I would consider myself closeted because I'm not open about possibly being ace or aro ace tried talking to my dad about it and the conversation was eeehh okay I guess?

What was Z’s explanation???????

@@remix2432 no bitches?

@@remix2432 Whatever people call themselves is their choice. We don't all call ourselves Asexual/Aromantic or Ace/Aro for others. It is a word that gives us a better understanding of who we are. And that there is a word for what we are feeling (which is different from the norm) gives us the feeling that it's a real thing and valid and not a made up problem in our mind that we can't fix. I don't call myself ace for others to understand. Most don't and I have to explain what I feel anyway. But I call myself ace to feel part of a group of people and community where as I normally wouldn't have anyone who feels and understands me in that way.

The truth is that a lot of guys feel compelled to feel that way, and aren't necessarily super-sexual even if they're not ace! Of course, some are, but so are some girls, especially in teenagehood/young adulthood as everyone tries to figure out their own relationship to sex/navigate romantic relationships at the same time. So yeah, asexuality can be a point of contention in relationships, particularly coz of social expectations and general confusion of young people figuring themselves out, but a lot of people are more accepting and respectful of ace partners than those people have told you - hopefully even more become so as they mature.

Literally put it in your Tinder bio. As a fellow asexual, it was SO validating to see how much interest I still got from straight and bi men who were either ace themselves, or just didn’t care that much. This only works for straight women though 😂 Because the ratio is so in our favor on most dating sites.

The right man will respect your boundaries and love you no matter what. You'll find the right one someday

@@Roxie_ET aw that's very sweet of you, thank you. I hope you're right

We will all find someone perfect for us. Please believe in it~ And never say 'yes' to less!♡

@Aussie Dude From Perth That too. But mostly just the "they take one look and their eyes light up like they've seen the best chocolate cake that was ever conceived" thing. And also in books, when people noticed other people's attraction and tried to get closer or.. you know. A range of things.

omg i didi for the longest time as well!

yes, for me was sexualatraction or romantic feelings a fictional thing for the story

Yes please!

ill do you one better, garlic bread with ✨CHEESE✨

​@@lavenderrbooks in the shape of a dragon ✨️

Yes, please! Garlic bread sounds great rn

Me pleasee

Congrats!!!

@@ellabella001 tysm 😊😊🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Congrats!

YAY!

Congrats!!! My friend figured it out be for I did 😅

I just realized after reading this that I have also only been aesthetically attracted to people throughout my life so far. I just realized it a while ago and considered that I may be ace or aro ace due to not having any relationships back in high school or college.

@@faren8640 yeees it's so hard to differentiate especially if you can't feel the other one, how are we supposed to figure this out

@@imxsallyh I consider myself maybe closeted. I tried talking to my dad about the possibility if ace, he doesn't support it because he thinks I'm trying to join the lgbtq group. When really I would just use the term ace to make it simpler to say "hey I don't want to do this certain thing". I'm not trying to group myself into lgbtq. But he still thinks of it this way and he wants me to make my first introduction being hi I'm a Christian not hi I'm ace. I'm fine with introducing myself as both. But he just makes it sound like I am doing something bad if I come out as ace instead of Christian . I'm not planning on making ace/aroace my personality it would just be a small descriptor. Not sure how to feel about this so I consider myself closeted I'm not a representation nut. Like wearing flags and ace clothes like how some people do that. Not saying that's bad thing to the people that do that though. I'm just not sure how to feel about my representation status with my parents right now 😕

See I’m trying to find myself right now and I think I might be ace but I’m still not sure because I haven’t completely figured out what ace is so this video I agree did help.

Oh yeah, I didn't realize something was off for a LONG time since I have a very strong aesthetic attraction. I'm also an art nerd so that didn't help. But yeah once I realized that others were having an actual physical reaction to someone they found "attractive" I was blown away and turned to the internet to try and figure things out and that's how I learned about asexually and that that's my thing

I wish like hell that something like that had existed when I was a teenager. I haven't actually watched the show, but seeing the clip from it here had me bawling my eyes out. I'm so glad that culture is opening up to things like this now.

@@jackharton8233 Yeah i only know about this stuff because of the internet. Altough I've always been comfortable being aro, I still feel some pushback from my social sphere to become sexual. But I don't really want to.

You aren't missing much

same here, i'm having a very similar experience with my partner right now actually. i was ok to test out if i was comfortable or not with them having sex with someone else and it turns out it does make me feel uncomfortable, but they don't want to stop doing it bc of their huge sex drive, stating that they've been super patient during the last 4 years with me and that rn they just want to enjoy this new liberty, even tho i told them how sick it makes me feel... and yeah they also came out as poly recently and developed feelings for the person they're having sex with and also spends hours texting her. i always felt guilty to feel "jealous" like that and also for not satisfying their needs as often as they like, but hearing this tiktoker's words felt like a weight has been lifted off! i cried, bc i so so needed to hear this! i sincerely hope you're doing ok now and hope you're in a happier place right now!

You are so strong for getting out of such a toxic situation. Bless your heart, and I hope you find true happiness. (The same goes for anyone in a similar situation!)

if someone's gonna burst your bubble or invalidate your boundaries and doesn't care about your a-sexuality, then they can get out and leave

@@2speedie2 This hurts me. My condolences

Dhsbshsks same

I've had the same I don't understand people wanting to have sex like that idk about all these categories but I definitely have an odd relationship with sexual topics

Bro I feel the same way. I ask my allosexual friends to explain it to me and I'm 10000% repulsed and don't understand them!

Honestly I don't understand the concept of wanting to do a stranger either. I'm ace and most of my knowledge/understanding about sex and love comes from movies and books. And I just always assumed that you have some sort of rapport or connection with someone because you find them intersting/intriguing etc and then the next step is sexual feelings because that person has become important to you. Basically, I thought demi-sexuality was the norm.

@@simransimran9339 I will never understand how someone will look at someone and be like hmmmmm. I'm over here thinking cool a person I hope they are nice. Allosexuals are so damn confusing!

Same here. I really don't get it ._.

So a few months ago when i didnt know i was ace, I was with some people and one of them told me she was ace. Me not knowing what it was asked some questions, after the third “i have that too” i started asking questions to the allos. Thats the day i found out i was ace as fuck.

i think this goes into men being icky in general tho

No problem!

Hmmm, people will see what they want to see. Don't cater to the viewer in that way.

@@caylapelt Hey, thank you for your kind reply! I wasn't being too serious, I wouldn't really change anything about my art because it is the way I feel it and it's honest. I was just baffled that someone was able to see some sexual intention in my work that is entirely invisible to me. To me, there is no nakedness or sexual undertones at all, so it felt absurd in a funny way. I made something from the heart and my heart forgot about the sex-thing. It does make me happy though, that it sparks joy in her, even if it's happening in a way I didn't intend. And it's good to know that this is what some people will see and I am glad that I have words like 'demisexual' to communicate my differing point of view in life. In short: When words fail you, make art. And when art miscommunicates your intentions because you forgot that some people might get horny for pictures, use words. ;)

That's the thing with art, it's out of your control how people see it. Some people may over analyze it, under analyze it, twist it, make fun of it, praise it, see something spectacular in it you never would have considered... So I agree with the above commenter. How does it make you feel? Are you satisfied with that feeling? It can hurt to not have that exact feeling shared with others, but one of the most beautiful things your art could achieve is making someone feel anything at all.

From my perspective, everyone like that has an addiction and cant deal with the fact that we never did, it was never that strong or we beat the addiction and moved past it.

not sure if this is about the pie tiktok, but if it is i think a better version wouldve been the person staring at the pie and then 5 hours later they decide to eat it lol

I think that somehow makes sense. If you feel attraction after building an emotional bond then sex is just part of the relationship and not what the relationship is built on. And you can have a strong emotional bond with more than one person and if everyone is on the same page then poly relationship would just be logical. I know some allos may not get it, but I (ace not demi) think I get why what you said may happen

@@wtnv the way that I always think of to explain demisexual is that porn doesn't work for you. I'm sure there are other reasons someone wouldn't like porn but the most I can do is think "wow, that would be fun to do with my partners" or stop and fantasize about me and someone I'm close to doing whatever happened on screen. It's not perfect but idk how else to describe it.

I'm an asexual lesbian! I feel like it's hard to find them Maybe it's just comphet make it hard for woman to realize there feelings are romantic

do you know the name of it?

@@Myla.A it’s called sex Ed I think.

@@mckayleem3098 Thx

From AVEN: Asexual: Someone who does not experience _sexual attraction_ or an intrinsic desire to have sexual relationships _Sexual attraction:_ Desire to have sexual contact with someone else or to share our sexuality with them. (Note: sexual attraction does not need to be based on appearance, and can also develop gradually over time.) If someone has sex for other reasons - to please their partner, to have their own biological child/children, because society pressured them into thinking they needed to have it, to make money, then they don't really get anything out of it, but aren't repulsed enough by it to not engage in it and could live their whole lives without having it and be happy because it's not an internal drive for them, then they are asexual. If someone is getting some personal enjoyment from sex, and internally seek it out for their own benefit, they are not ace. With whomever the people are that one regularly engages in sex reflects their sexuality. If some folks just like to be givers or receivers in sexual activities, that is very allo behavior. The litmus test is: "In the ideal world, where everything is just as you want it to be, is sex a part of your life?" and if you answer "yes" then you're not ace. If you answer "no" then you are. We don't live in an ideal world, so for many aces who aren't sex-repulsed, it's not possible to never have sex and so they do.... but it's not an internal drive or something they seek out for their own pleasure.

@@zuzannaczech I'm not saying that one has to hate it but put up with it, but if you actively prefer sex with people to solo play to deal with those feelings, and if you would be miserable if you could never have sex again, that would not be asexual. You can think it feels fine and whatever, but you also don't need it in your life at all and wouldn't pine for it if you didn't have it if you're asexual. If you have an inherent drive to have sex with other people, you're not ace.

@@TheKarret If you are allosexual in situation where you don't find anyone sexually attractive (teoretical island without people or like same-sex prison, when you are heterosexual) your sex drive dissapears? Or when you are in club and you are horny but you don't find anyone attractive, can't you just hook up with stranger you are not attacted to? (I couldn't but like because of personality and many other things, but I know there are some people, not necesserly you, that can do that). And maybe sex with someone trusted makes person more satisfied than solo play? Or is more interesting? Also - does experimenting with same sex partner when you are hetero and finding it good-feeling counts as being queer? Or does it just mean you were horny enought and curious enought and trusting enought to feel better than if you did the same thing alone? I can't tell as a hetero person, because I am not one, but my straight friend told me, that once she kissed a girl, when playing drunk game. And she liked it. But like next day she looked at her, not attracted at all. That was like very quick questioning resulting in "still straight", but it doesn't mean she didn't enjoy the kiss. And also, like stated in video - asexuality is a spectrum, so it really depends on person. And also it is hard to isolate reasons for sex. Like sometimes I enjoy more pleasure of my partner and sounds they do than their touch. I love making them feel good. But also I like being touched really often. And also I like how easy it is sometimes to make them turned on, like it's fun for me to be like the one thinking almost clear and seeing them being so not-focused. And I like being close. And like I said I like their touch, but how can I isolate just one thing of that? I don't think so. Like all theese things make it feel good, substracting one would change the whole experience. (That is my preference. Like others can like adrenaline or sth from meeting with stangers, I am more satisfied when I know person, when I trust them and don't feel insecure around them). And again sex attraction is not the same as sex drive. And ace people choosing sex wiith person than solo play can really be just that they are more satisfied when someone else touches them, that doesn't need to be any deeper than that. Also they may not feel comfortable masturbathing (bc for example society or sth), or they can just get bored when alone. List can go on and on. So I wouldn't just say "if you lilke sex you are not ace", because it's far more complicated.

@@zuzannaczech No, an allo would feel miserable that they don't have anyone to have sex with, I would imagine - allos who can't get dates often pine over it because they don't have access to people willing to date them. Chances are, the allo in that situation would imagine themselves having sex as the best substitute, but being stuck without human contact/those whom they're attracted to [as straight dudes in prison will enter homosexual relationships because they need sex that badly, and when out, return to strictly straight behavior], an allo would make do with whatever is available... _but that's not their IDEAL situation._ If an allo is at a club and wants to have sex, but doesn't find anyone at the club attractive, whomever they decide to just do it with is where their attraction lies - a straight dude who has the option of sleeping with a woman will never "just do it" with another guy because he's not attracted to guys. If you find more satisfaction from sex with another person over solo play and deliberately seek that out as opposed to solo play, that is sexual desire. It would count as being not 100% straight - there's a Kinsey Scale that ranks between straight- and gay-ness and there are accountances for being heteroflexible or homoflexible. Again - if you NEED to sleep with someone else to be fully sexually satisfied, you're not ace. My sis is het [possibly demi, but idk], and she wishes she could like women romantically or sexually, but she just can't do it. Also - your friend that you mentioned highlights MY point perfectly - she thought it was fine, but she has no inherent drive to seek that behavior out again; if she never kissed another girl for the rest of her life, she'd be perfectly satisfied with life. She doesn't REGULARLY kiss etc girls and then turn around and claim she's straight and has no attraction to women. If you have an inherent drive to engage in sexual behavior with others, you are not ace. Asexuality is a spectrum, but people are being too loose with the definition and having allos in here making aces feel unwelcome and pushing ace people out of ace spaces. Has it ever dawned on you that ALLOSEXUALITY is a spectrum? And some of these folks seem to be better fitted into the allosexuality spectrum than the asexuality spectrum, since asexuality is about a lack of an inherent drive for sexual contact? Have you ever considered one might be aromantic but allosexual? There are other more sensible options than stretching the definition of asexuality so thin that it no longer actually means anything and damn near anyone can identify as ace if they want to. There are LIMITS on what asexuality can be, and sometimes, some folks just don't fit; they have a different experience - it can be a valid experience, but it's NOT an asexual experience to inherently desire sexual contact with people. That's the point people were trying to get across when talking about sexual attraction and sexual desire - and again, like my first messaged clearly demonstrated - AVEN's own terms don't align with the notion that asexual people prefer sexual contact with other people as part of their own inherent desires. Do you inherently desire sex with them, or would you be just as satisfied and happy in your relationship if you never had sex for the rest of your life? THAT is what determines if you are asexual or not. If you answer "yes" to the first part, and "no" to the 2nd part, you're not ace. If you answer "no" to the first part and "yes" to the 2nd part, you're ace. It literally is that simple. You can be ace and consent to having sex for your partner's benefit and find things about the activity that you can enjoy, but if you never had sex again, that wouldn't bother you; of your own volition, you would never CHOOSE to have sex as your own idea. THAT is the variation within the ace identity. You can hate sex, or you can see it as a tolerable compromise. But the second you start wanting it for your own personal pleasure and benefit? You're not ace. And that's okay. The main exceptions are demis and graces, but really, demis and graces are more like the bisexuals of allos and aces; they have a unique experience that's not quite allo, but also not quite ace. I never said "if you like sex you're not ace" I SAID " if you actively prefer sex with people to solo play to deal with those feelings, and if you would be miserable if you could never have sex again, that would not be asexual." There is a KEY difference there, and if you can't understand that difference, I question whether you understand asexuals at all. Maybe you shouldn't be speaking with any degree of authority; maybe you need to go back and learn more. And not from Tumblr or TikTok or Twitter - from AVEN. FYI - The difference is: the _preference_ for sex over solo play. If you have a preference to have sex, you're not ace. You can tolerate it, find things to enjoy about it... but if you have a preference to have sex rather than solo play; if you'd be miserable without sex with other people in your life... then you are not ace. And it's offensive and ace erasure to try to change that fact. If you would be 100% content without having sex in your life and you only do it to please your partner and can find things to enjoy about it, then I'm not talking about you, so getting defensive when I state the limits of asexuality, it makes me wonder if you would actually be miserable without sex, which would plant you firmly in the "not ace" category. Hell, even "missing" it would be more on the allosexual spectrum than the asexual one. Do you understand that for allos, sex isn't just about the physicality of it? It's also about all those things you described enjoying when you're having sex with your partner. Allos consider it a near religious experience of ultimate closeness and a bonding with their partner above anything else... that is an allo perspective. NOT an asexual experience at all - even for the ones who are willing to compromise and have sex. For asexuals, sex - for those willing to have it - is like [to be stereotypical] a guy going to watch a rom com with his girlfriend, or a girlfriend watching sports with her boyfriend - something they would never do on their own and don't really care about when they watch those things, but they do it for their partner and for the sake of the relationship. THAT is the ace perception of sex, even the sex-favorable ones. - the sex-unfavorable are disgusted by even the thought and aren't even willing to compromise. Asexuality is NOT infinite. There ARE limits on what it accurately describes. At best, you sound demi or grayasexual [again, the bisexuals of allos to aces], but not a totally ace person. I'm sorry people told you wrong and got you thinking inaccurate stuff about asexuals. I'm sorry the boundaries of asexuality are not more clearly defined to help people understand it better. But claiming your experience is an ace experience really is ace erasure. If the public gets your interpretation of asexuality in their head, and I tell a rando I'm ace, instead of assuming I'm not interested, they'll believe they still have a shot with me "because aces can love sex as much as allos," and that REALLY frustrates me, because the only reason I relate to the ace label is because my sexual preference is "nah, I'm good." I read so many stories on AVEN of people who felt broken for not being able to enjoy sex, even when they tried it, they felt nothing from it and didn't want to do it. If that perspective on sex bothers you or feels like it doesn't fit you, then you're not experiencing an ace experience. If you do anything more than tolerate it because it's not too horrible for you, but you aren't really interested in it, I'm sorry, that doesn't sound like an ace experience at all, then. That sounds like a low-libido allo or something. Why should asexuality have SUcH a WiDe SpEcTRuM but allosexuality has only one way to be experienced? Why not consider a slightly unusual allo experience, why does it have to be a practically-breaking-the-definition-of-asexuality experience? Think on that a bit perhaps.

@@TheKarret Pothisexual and apothisexual.

Girrrrl! I can relate to you so much that I could cry. I might be demisexual and biromantic but I can clearly differentiate between my personal sex repulsion and my understanding of sex positivity for others. It's just me having a hard time explaining this difference to them.

Yeah, it was really confusing for me to discover I have a "type" without wanting to sleep with anyone. Was less confused when I realized 'aesthetic attraction' is a thing. Kinda like window shopping...I don't have any intention of buying it...I just want to look at it and appreciate it for a second; before going on with my day.

felt that, my sister says the same thing 🧍🏻‍♀️

Is it not????? You are telling me people desire others who they don't know beside thinking they are attractive????????

@@lusan51 apparently. Idk.

Thank you Satan, those are my exactly thoughts. When I read "sexual attraction" I don't understand what that means.

yeah, how do you just look at someone and WANT to have sex with them?? that doesn't make sense, like HOW!?!?

@@alexzie. Ikr? I can get physical attraction like I can think people are attractive and I wanna date them but sex? No, I don’t get it

Also, why in the pie one did they not say "I prefer cake" Like they had a PERFECT opportunity, and they completely ignored it.

No prob!

I'd own the idea that being ace is weird and then we could both look at each other's POV and being like "isn't that weird?"

Sexual attraction is weird though. We’re all weird, that’s basic humanity

@Tara Allen Agreed, that's fuckin bizarre.

Aces are often seen as weird. They think they have a monopoly on not understanding asexuals? Lol.

I finally found my people. An applause please. 😔👐👐

Happy pride to you too

What does the LGBT have to do with asexuality? They don't even have a sexual attraction.

@@remix2432 the LGBTQ+ community basically centers around supporting and representing those who are not cis/straight. hints the name: lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and more. asexuality is considered to be not normal. most people have sexual attraction to others. because it’s technically not cis/straight, it’s considered LGBTQ+. straight people have sexual/romantic attraction to the “opposite” gender, while asexual people may only have the romantic part of that. sorry for the long rant haha

@@remix2432 LGBTQ+ includes asexuality, because asexuality, even though it's essentially the "lack" of sexual attraction, is still on the spectrum of attraction. Asexuality is "little to no" sexual attraction, and it is just as valid as being part of the LGBTQ+ community. It needs to be understood that sexual attraction is not the only type of attraction. Romantic attraction is a factor too. (Unless one is aromantic, which is opposite of asexual and is the lack of romantic attraction.) Asexuality can also be used as an umbrella term for other similar types. Some people feel sexual attraction later on in a bonded relationship, others feel completely repulsed by sex but can still have a healthy relationship in other ways. Demisexual is an example of being under this category. Finally, you can also be queer and be asexual. There are asexual gay and lesbian individuals, bi, pan, and whatever else. However, this is dictated as romantic attraction. So for example, you could be asexual, but have a romantic attraction to the same-sex. Basically, whoever you would be inclined to have a relationship with. I hope this helped! Happy Pride!

Happy pride to you too!

Speacially In India where marriage is everything it's impossible to find one.i think we need group or something where we can help each other.

Not wanting to have sex, still being aesthetically and/or romantically attracted to men (when so many are just 😬)...how do I uninstall?

It's called 'Sex Education'.

Same. I never experienced this sexual attraction.

I am ace!

@@ellabella001 bro ace club!!!!

@@ellabella001 OMG,ACE GANG

@@leos.stars. yes yes!!

@@cherryblossommochii8009 yeaaah

All the allosexual virgins, kinda yes