Dave isn’t preheating his oven, everyone knows the rules

One grown man who can't do laundry or bake a frozen pizza everyone knows the rules

One “expresso” everyone knows it’s really coke.

Love Tombstone. One of the original G's of the frozen world.

“Im drinking so much coffee at my house” Ah thats what the kids are calling it these days

I feel like Dave isn’t preheating his oven

About 50 years ago any bar in the state of Wisconsin that served frozen pizza was serving Tombstone.

One undercooked frozen pizza everybody knows he's falling apart without Frankie

One comment addressing the massive amount of coffee drank, everyone knows it's actually the coke

I have no confidence that this guy can read a box and follow the directions.

One pair of purple pants, everybody knows he really has 10 of them.

The amount of random pop culture scenes he knows never disappoints

Hatfield's and McCoy's? One wrong reference, everyone knows the rules.

Dave, here's how to take your store-bought frozen pizza game to the next level: * Always preheat your oven. * Cook frozen pizzas directly on the rack. Don't use a cookie sheet as this will make it less crispy. * Middle rack * For the larger type pizzas with thick/rising crust, cook at 425F for the first 10-12 minutes, then lower to 400F and check every 2min. If the crust looks crispy but the cheese isn't melted enough, lower to 375F for the last 2 minutes. * For a larger type thin-crust pizza, same instructions as above, except check after 7-8 minutes, and watch the crust more closely. * For the small "cardboard box" or "dollar" pizzas, cook hot&quick; 450F for 7-9 minutes. * Always let the pizza rest for 3-5 minutes before cutting into it. Like a steak. This lets the center keep cooking a little more so everything cooks evenly. (Also you won't burn your mouth as badly!) The initial heat will give the crust a nice crisp, while lowering the temp near the end will let the pizza finish cooking without overcooking it. You're looking for the edge of the crust to be a slightly dark golden brown, and the cheese to be melted all the way through, or very close to it. * If your crust looks crispy but your cheese isn't melted, you need to cook it a little longer, but lower the temp. * If your crusts aren't crispy but everything is cooked, you need to raise the initial temperature next time. Lower it later on as-necessary. * If your cheese looks greasy/soupy, your pizza's undercooked. You need to increase the length of time you cook and/or raise the heat (400-425F). If you did this right, it will have the aroma of medium-dark (not black) toast from the toaster; a hint of char to it, but not burnt. The cheese will look melted and firm, but not hard. You may see some grease on top, but not pools of it. (Note that meats add more grease, so adjust accordingly if you add toppings.) The more you make them, the better you'll get at determining how to achieve this result. (Note that ovens vary. You may need to adjust cooking times accordingly. Also, pizzas vary as well. Those times/temps are general suggestions. Use your judgment and attain wisdom over time.) Also, some notes on seasoning -- I know you can't do these for the reviews, but keep this around for your info: * Hit em with a little ground black pepper, and red pepper flakes, before putting in the oven. (Don't overdo it especially if you don't like spicy food.) * In the last minute or two in the oven, sprinkle some oregano onto the pie. * When you take the pizza out of the oven, immediately sprinkle onto it some basil flakes. * If you like Parmesan cheese, keep a little shaker of it and add when the pie's done. Red pepper isn't particularly heat-sensitive, so you can add it at the beginning, which roasts them a bit and helps the flavor to spread into the pizza. The flavors of oregano and basil, however, are volatile; if you add them at the beginning, they will be flavorless. Oregano, however, has its flavor best come out when it's heated for a _short_ time, so the last 2 minutes are the best time to add it to frozen pizza; this will also let those flavors seep into the pizza a bit more. Basil is typically the most volatile, and is added after the pizza's done cooking. If you master this, I guarantee that you can add at least 1 whole point to every store-bought frozen pizza you review.

Dave, all kidding aside. During these tough times. Your doing an awesome job!

"Just spin the trigger thing" Everybody knows this man's never shot a firearm

Tombstone is good, man (for frozen, it's better than most)

Too needy of cafe lattes, everyone knows his coke dealer is in quarantine.

One adderall addict everybody knows that he's a spitter not a swallower..

One good reference to Seinfeld, everyone knows his "binging with coke" instead of coffee

Hatfield's & McCoys in Tombstone, Dave knows his history

This was my childhood after school frozen pizza. It's not bad. More of a nostalgia thing I guess. Always will be a personal favorite for me.

I saw one bite pizza in the store and it was more expensive than 3x per weight than the 3 least expensive full size pizzas and it made me realize I'm too poor to even buy the "worse tasting expensive pizzas" so I went and bought 11 LBS (think basket ball size) pork shoulder for $0.97 a pound) and made 22 half pound pulled pork sandwiches because I can't afford good pizza fml

Screamin’ Sicilian is the best frozen pizza in the game right now

One day trader, everyone knows Dave forgot to turn the oven on....

When did people start calling coke “coffee”?

“Coffee is never empty “ we all know Prez is talking about his coke stash

Tombstone has always had my favorite sauce. It's the sauce that used to come with lunchables. So good.

One drug problem everyone knows the coffee.

One pair of pants everyone knows he’s saving money up to OD on coke once quarantine is over.

The series we didn’t know we wanted but needed

You need to redo this review now that you've learned how to cook pizza better. Tombstone is a solid pizza if it's made right. This was on you man, own up to it.

One "expresso", everyone knows its not the coffee making Dave jittery

Finally got his "coffee" delivered. Everyone knows the rules

So that’s what they are calling coke these days....”espresso” huh

I loving these reviews. This is helping tons. Keep it up!! The problem with frozen pizza is the crust. Not sure anything can be done about that. IT is always like pizza crackers.

One too many coffees, everyone knows it’s actually his coke stash

jacked up on booger sugar, but blame it on the coffee everybody knows the rules

Thw Earps & Holliday vs The Cowboys were in Tombstone, AZ. The Hatfield and McCoy feud was on the WV and OH border.

One new “expresso” machine, everyone knows pres has been using snow instead of sugar.

"I am doing so much coke, at my house"

"Day trading" code for contacting his coke dealer everybody knows the rules.

Totinos will always be my favorite frozen pizza...always a crispy crust and very affordable ($1.25-1.50 tops). No flop, ever

Love your videos

Several "coffees", everybody knows the Adderall.

One pair of purple pants, everyone knows Dave doesn’t know how to do laundry Btw I make videos too 😈

I still have one of the original Tombstone pizza ovens! They were a promotional item back when my old man worked for the company. He used to deliver it to local grocery stores (I have the dartboard too)

I'm digging these frozen pizza reviews.

Red Baron is my go to. I've heard Screamin' Sicilian is awesome, never tried it myself though.

5 lines of coffee on the mirror, everybody knows Dave can't work a an espresso maker.

One forgetting to preheat the oven, everybody knows thats a side effect of being an adderall and coke addict.

One simple set of cooking instructions, everyone knows the Pres can't figure them out.

Score says you like it the same as ellios. Still waiting on that Red Baron review.

I love it keep up my frozen pizza reviews i work i got to school i save and eat frozen pizza i lovr it Thankyou

Need to rock that Red Baron Original Crust Cheese pie. My favorite of frozen is a must.

Nothing will ever beat RED BARON in the frozen pizza department.

Everyone know Davey is really talking about the other big "C".

“I’ll be your huckleberry” best like ever!

Screaming Sicilian is the new wave

One bang bang everyone knows Pres will turn the ol 6 shooter on himself when the casinos go belly up

Pro tip: cook the pizza at the hottest temperature that your oven goes to. My ovens goes to 550 and I blast that thing for about 5 minutes. Also, preheat the oven. No way Dave preheated his oven and got a pizza looking like that after 30+ minutes.

As a chef I am so glad somebody give you a pizza cutter steady you some that very nice global knife lol love the reviews brother

Self quarantined. Half the bar stool sports staff to his left.

Good job Dave had his coke dealer there to remind him of that player's name.

One ominous name "Tombstone", everyone knows the rules.

Not gonna lie I like these frozen pizza reviews better because I can relate. Jack's is best bang for buck $2.50 👌

While i no longer like most frozen pizzas since the good ones either are no longer made or they were messed up (Chef Boyardee, Buitoni, Totino's, Jeno's, etc). But when i go for one, i: move them out of the freezer the day before so it doesn't need to bake for longer than suggested and the cheese melts as expected, and depending on the type of crust, i usually add flour to the crust so it doesn't stick to the pan. For a crisp crust, i use a pan, for a softer one i use aluminum foil. I don't preheat the oven either.

Celeste gunna be a high 7, everybody knows the rules

One spin of the trigger thing, everyone knows Dave knows nothing about guns.

Are you putting them directly on the rack? That makes the bottom crisp.

Red Baron French Bread my favorite!

One Purple pair of sweats Prez is gonna put in a Tomb Stone, everybody knows the rules

Tony’s frozen pizza next? Used to have it all the time as a kid

If i cooked a pizza in my oven for 30 minutes it would beyond burnt lmao

That is why I use the Pizzazz. You can vary the amount of cook on the top and the bottom until you hit perfection.

One tombstone everybody knows Dave put two lines of coke in his joe.

One shelf in the background, everyone knows that everything Prez owns

For the record, kids these days have no idea how lucky they are with the frozen pizzas. When I was a kid, they tasted like absolute crap, today, some of them taste almost as good as what you get in half the restaurants now. I wonder if you have tried trader joes 3 cheese pizza? Back when I still ate gluten I loved theirs

Dave, it's like youre hanging out with me, thank you for everything. #barstool

"Expresso"

Why am I still watching these ridiculous videos. This is the weakest content on youtube, yet I can’t look away. The guy is ranking crap frozen pizza in his house.

Want to see him do one of those mini deep dishes you get at Costco.

Not gonna lie, as a kid I loved the tombstone Mexican pizza.

Gotta go raid the Trader Joe’s pizza section bro. They have a smorgasbord of different imported Italian pizzas and they’re pretty damn good for frozen.

One pair of pants everybody knows he’s sitting around in his birthday suit

NEWMANS OWN FOUR CHEESE!!! BEST FROZEN PIZZA ON THE MARKET.

Next time your in cali when this corona shit blows over you gotta try pizza my heart

He should be a telemarketer. One bite everybody knows the rules. That’s his entire script

"Coffee". I think potnoy doesn't realize just because it's a powder snd from Columbia, doesnt essentially mean its coffee

Gotta preheat the oven brio. Those pizzas are burnt by the recommended time on the box. 12 minutes at most at my house

I love the pants bit!

Try the best Stouffer's french bread And instead of coffee latte have a busch latte

One coked Dave pretending there is someone in the room everybody knows he’s alone.

I always doctor frozen pizzas up with extra cheese, meat, green olives, and chopped peppers. Then I cook them on a preheated stone in a preheated oven. That works for me. What do you do?

Amy's is still my go-to but if you can find it Screamin' Sicilian isn't bad.

The "coffee"

Putting cheddar cheese on a pizza should be an automatic DQ!

if that apartment space is in Manhattan then Dave is even more filthy rich than we thought.

Are you fully preheating the oven?

Loving the Seinfeld reference, but eXpresso??! Wtf?!